Damn right, we take turns bein' grown / I get real accountable when I'm alone (Toxic – Kehlani).
Um, this is a rare occurrence of me liking a book without actually liking any of the characters that inhabit it. I was invested in the story-line and couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next, but I wouldn’t say I was actually rooting for any of these clowns. I suppose I felt for Prince Allen, but feeling pity is hardly the same as genuine affection. I take hosting duties pretty seriously, so I thought that the way Allen was treated from the moment he entered the palace to about the halfway mark was genuinely upsetting. Appalled, I was. He’s invited by the High King’s people to be his betrothed, and then promptly isn’t given a proper greeting, called useless in public by the very man he’s there to marry, and sent to his room without any food!? Nah man, that’s unforgivable behavior in my book. The emperor dude didn’t even offer him tea!? That’s seriously messed up. And because Allen himself speaks too prettily to actually speak it out loud, I guess that leaves me to go ahead say it; Sarrica, the High King, is a fuckwit. Aren’t I brave? There’s not much else to say because the book follows this same basic pattern for quite a while. Allen will prove how competent he is by doing the thing he was brought over to do, then the High King shows how highly rude he is by committing a never-ending list of egregious social faux pas. Yeah, he has a better excuse than most (terrible headache, hasn’t eaten yet. I get it, you know?), but it’s still pretty unforgivable considering the dude is the emperor of the universe or whatever. My guy, suck it up and show some tact. Despite all this, I still think my biggest issue was that there were too many little meetings with him and his staff about the way he was acting afterwards. He’d do something awful, then all his advisors would be like, “Stop being a dick, dude.” And then he’d feel all guilty and sad. It. Was. Like. Clockwork. Not only were their conversations incredibly repetitive, I just don’t like it when I feel like the narrative is trying too heavily to tell me what to feel. I think even the author was getting bored, because the Allen and Sarrica were barely ever left alone for long (often interrupted by more interesting characters) and the book was better for it. Probably not a good sign when a story comes alive every time the two romantic leads are separated.
In fact, I think I liked the both of them more when they kind of hated each other. I mean, at least then the dialogue had some heat to it. It was at its best when it felt like a game of Ping-Pong; Sarrica would ping and you know damn well that Allen would be right there to pong. Unfortunately, this fun volleying match didn’t last because the whole thing randomly pivoted into a “rescue romance,” where then everybody was grateful and happy and trying to make amends. Boo~ooo. Wasn’t a fan of that bit, if I’m honest. This would have worked better for me if it seemed like these two were equally competent. The book kind of just expects us to believe that the High King is super fantastic at his job of running an empire (whatever that entails) because he’s already in the position by the time the story starts. Yeah well, I certainly didn’t see any examples of his talent in ruling. He actually seemed like a dumb oaf most of the time. Like, his immediate dealing with Prince Allen didn’t just showcase how much of a jerk he is, but it also proved how ill-fit he is for the being The Highest King. I’m no expert at ruling empires, but… be for real dude, you’re a king who isn’t politically minded and you need help with all the boring paper work and blah, blah, blah, but you’re somehow convinced that you need a soldier (!?) as a spouse in order to help rule the world!? Then when Allen starts sifting through all the problems with ease (because that’s what he’s been training for), Sarrica for some reason acts all surprised? Like… duh. How his country (does he run a country? What the fuck is a High King anyway?) ran at all before Allen arrived absolutely mystifies me! I will say that I’m glad that this book didn’t seem intent on going on and on about bigotry, or at least the way it exists in real world history. I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard that tired, “Erm, actually, that’s how it was back then!" sentiment to excuse excessive violence against marginalized groups in fantasy settings. Back when? This is a fantasy world; you can do whatever you waa~aant.
This might sound a bit odd, but my usual bar for a really good political fantasy story is that I should always be slightly confused. That way I know it’s going to be good! I don’t know, it just makes the “ah-ha!” moment all the more satisfying for me. So, this won’t really be a literary criticism, but rather more of a personal thing. Even though this novel boasts a rather complicated fantasy tale (“fantasy for people who don’t like fantasy!”), I actually found the overall messaging and morality of the world somewhat simplistic. It fancies itself a sprawling and detailed fantasy world full of danger and royal families with complicated backstories, but it’s really more like Beauty and the Beast. An easy morality tale with a happily-ever-after ending. Only this story doesn’t even have a sexy beast (I said what I said)! Small spoilers, but when the evil torturer guy is captured by our “heroes” and, you guessed it, tortured right back, it’s played as this huge triumphant scene. Personally, all I felt was distaste. Yeah, I’m not going to root for an empire, even if they’re supposed to be a good empire. I just think it’s weird to have a story about people in power with infinite resources where the message is all about upholding the status quo. What is this, The MCU? Speaking of Marvel, they had their moments, I can’t lie. Like in Thor: Ragnarok when Cate Blanchett tears down Odin’s shiny “kindness and benevolence” mural, revealing the truth that Odin really gained his kingdom through colonization and genocide. I wonder how Sarrica’s empire was founded? Hmm, the book was rather reticent examine their royal fam in any detail. Of course, if it felt like this twisted morality was the point, then I wouldn’t have taken issue. But I'm pretty sure we're supposed to like these guys, right? Why else would there be a thousand sequels? Anyway, I think I’m just a hater. The unfortunate reality is that I can watch a movie or read a book and have a million complaints, ranging from tiny nitpicks to whole ass narrative objections, and when I’m asked if I liked them my answer is usually, “Yup. It was fine.” So, did I like this book? Yup. It was fine. Sorry in advance, but I’ll probably even continue reading this series, leaving behind a string of three-star-ratings in my wake. To which it’ll eventually get to the point where someone will ask me, “Why the hell do you keep reading if you hate it so much!?” And to that, hypothetical person, all I can say is… I have no idea. Everything I read is based on a whim, so let's see where my next whim takes me.