Cinderella and Her Sisters: The Envied and the Envying

by Ann Belford Ulanov, Barry Ulanov

Seated in her nest of ashes, Cinderella embodies human misery. The essence of inner and outer nobility, she is the envy of her cruel stepmother and her ugly sisters. Using this familiar story, Ann and Barry Ulanov explore the psychological and theological aspects of envy and goodness. In their interpretation of the tale, they move back and forth between internal and external issues -- from how feminine and masculine parts of persons fit or do not fit together to how individuals conduct their lives with those of the same and opposite sexes, how they conflict, compete, or join harmoniously."The Cinderella tale, so simple and so profound, offers a direct road into and through the thickets of envying and being envied. Envy between sisters, between mothers and daughters, between the sexes, between nations ... between different parts of our own psyche, even of God -- these are the multiple places of wounding we touch in this book. The central role of envy in determining the very nature of our society -- its politics, for example -- is, we think, crucial."

After considering this rarely discussed human emotion, the authors focus on the nature of goodness as it surfaces in the envy experience. They reflect on its abundance, ability to unite disparate parts, its abiding presence, and its joy, then conclude with a glossary of terms and a brief review of the psychological literature on envy.

Genres: Psychology, Fairy Tales

192 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1983

Reviews

[Krystal EVHS Tran · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book opened my eyes to some of the problems that are caused by envy and jealousy. Sometimes, I got really bored with the book, but it was still able to capture my attention. The book contains a lot of sexual content and uses lots of academic words. I recommend this book for people interested in psychology and for people who want to understand why people envy others.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you've been the victim of envy this book may strike a few chords with you. As other reviewers have said, the book starts really well and looks at the envied and the envier fron a Jungian perspective, but it does tail off a bit towards the end of the book.

[Sharon Bright · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dense and brilliant book, steeped in Jungian concepts. It uses the fairytale of Cinderella to help simplify the existence, origin and transforming potential of envy. It explains dynamics of the envious and envied from a personal, inter-relational and societal level. It was eye-opening to see from the viewpoint of the envied and how they are boxed into expectations that they cannot ever achieve and have no graceful exit from the envier’s needs.
Since we have both capabilities, envied and envious, with us, I found this book rich with how to accept the goodness within us all, equally. I was surprised in part two by the parallel of Christian concepts and the use of repentance to initialize the healing of envy within our lives...but it was beautifully done; no shame just consistent reminder that we already embody the goodness we so actively want others to fulfill for us.
There is a glossary for laymen attempting to understand the Jungian psyche...which is every reader short of Jung himself.

[Carolyn Ingram · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a light read, but worth it. If you like to learn from archetypes, Jungian psychology--Melanie Klein--this is a meaningful read.

[Marwa Al-Ansari · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first 70 pages were good, after that the authored derailed from the main topic of the book.

[Emma Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be envied and envying - explains it all 🤭

[Mephistopheles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really on point examination of envy. I found the first half the strongest, the second where it dips into Christianity the weakest (I am not Christian and so Christian analysis does very little for me – Christian readers will likely get more out of this) and the end swelled back into strength. I have been the victim of envy before, so this was painful and powerful, and I am left with a new understanding of how projection can be used for good, which is a helpful balance to the awareness of projection's ills and dangers. This was also a powerful affirmation of love and the use of love.

[Carrie Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this for a psychology book club. It was written in 1983 and many of the sources used came from far earlier in the 1900's. The first few chapters were good. Then it completely veered off topic and went into a lot of Bible and religious talk. I read the whole book, but wish I didn't. If you are looking for info on this topic, buy any other book available on it.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Run-of-the-mill homophobic and anti-feminist psychoanalytic drivel of the 1970s and 80s. Interesting criticism levelled against the former USSR for "weaponizing envy against the citizenry" but not a mention of McCarthyism. This was a missed opportunity to critique femininity norms.

[Lissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating look at the myth of Cinderella and the archetype of envy.

[Perri]

Exactly what I was looking for

[Sahar · Rating 3 out of 5]

مباجث دشمنی گری را با نگاهی به داستان سیندرلا و خواهرانش بررسی کرده و ریشه یابی جالبی داشته بر آن و اینکه چرا هرچقدر سیندرلا در مورد خواهرانش محبت می کرد باز هم اونها مسخره می کردنش؟آنها بر این باور بودند سیندرلا به اندازه کافی خوب نیست که چیزهای خوب لیاقتش باشه و ریشه اصلی در تربیت مادر بوده. که دخترانش را آموزش نداده که آنها هم خوب هستند و چیزهایی دارند که باعث ارزشمند بودن آنها می شود. نویسندگان سپس سعی کردند که با الهام از اجزای داستان نقدی فمنیستی بر تربیت دختران داشته باشند که همان پایه بسیاری از عداوت ها بین خانمها هست. کلا نگاه کتاب را جالب بوده ولی اندکی توضیحات اضافی هستند.

[Aliya · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've been a victim of envy then this book will help you make sense of evnts, which may have boggled your mind. If you envy others, then this book will help you in dealing with this disease of the heart.

the book draws in Christian theology a wholelot, and that detracted from the reading experience,and the Jungian analysis also made for a difficut read at times, but it's still a great book.

[Deborah Hailey]

Not really finished, but since I bought it I will revisit as needed. Opened my eyes to some issues.