Gone are the days when you could sit back and let your fiancée plan the entire wedding. Today’s grooms have countless tasks to perform, from hiring the entertainment and planning the rehearsal dinner to buying the wedding bands and comforting hysterical family members.
Fortunately, The Groom’s Instruction Manual is here to answer all of your most challenging How do I handle feuding relatives? What should I look for in a good wedding photographer? Why does my fiancée seem stressed out all the time? Whatever your concerns, you’ll find the answers here—courtesy of author and veteran groom Shandon Fowler.
The Groom's Instruction Manual is designed with the twenty-something male in mind. The book is stocked full of cute and funny info-graphics; granted, they're not as informative as the ones you would find in USAToday, but the do make the book a bit more fun to read and flip through. There is a music checklist that is particularly helpful to those that are bringing an iPod for reception music, but most of the rest can be found online for free.
The biggest failing of this book, however, is it's reliance on common myths about wedding planning. One of the first pieces of advice is that the bride is always right and compromise mimics the way Barack Obama gives in to Republican congressional leaders. In fact, the majority of the book is dedicated to reminding the groom that the day is all about her and he should be doing everything to reinforce that. For couples seeking a more balanced approach, this book is not for them.
I started this book reading the first few chapters to be greeted by outdated and sexist recommendations that weren't funny. There is little to learn, and little to laugh at in this book. I hoped the tone would change so I skipped ahead and tried a few different chapters of interest, only to find more of the same. I sold this on ebay for a few bucks and didn't look back. Not worth the time.
Seeing how I'm actually getting married in 2 weeks, I thought it would make sense to seek some professional advice on how to handle that situation.....the biggest piece of advice this book kept giving was "let the bride or her parents worry about that. Keep out of it". While good advice in some cases, it wasn't exactly helpful. Like the similar cat owner's manual (I think the same publishing company?) it had some cute diagrams, and the list of suggested reception music is quite good, but otherwise this guide was lacking.
If you need this book because of a genuine worry about surviving the wedding, it won't solve your problems. If you want to read a hilarious book on how you will be seen on the day and what to and not to do, it probably won't help either. Some bits made me smile, but as a UK reader it shows how different UK and US weddings must be - tipping the waiters on the day of the wedding?? Still it was a novelty book for holiday and did the trick. And, as I write, the fiancée still wants to marry me, so perhaps I should give the book more credit.
The strength lies in presentation via info-graphics. Lacks much depth but makes up for it in humor. Decent guide for a young groom on the move who isn't a fan of reading.
Some useful tidbits of advice, especially some of the charts (like the seating chart and music lists). My fiance (now wife) were somewhat at a loss as to how to start those things, so those charts at least got us talking and we got lots of compliments about seating arrangements and the music.
Where there are flaws with this book are in two major areas... 1) like others have said, it relies on a lot of sexist ideas and generalizations. One could take this a humor, because this book is clearly aimed at guys, but it makes the book not as helpful as it could be. 2) Many of the suggestions are common sense or out of order. For example, it suggests you "plan an after party" after the sections on the wedding, reception and wedding nights. One would think that should have already been planned.
I wouldn't say this is a bad resource, but it shouldn't be the ONLY resource. The best thing is to have a proactive and organized fiance.
My husband bought this for himself after we got engaged. It's written in that fun instruction manual style. The thing *I* didn't like about it was the typically sexist stance the author took which basically was this: your wife will have been planning her wedding since she was a little girl, so step back and get out of her way. And yeah- she's gonna get crazy!!
The author goes about prepping the groom-to-be in the traditional manner and doesn't really account for any meandering from that path. My husband appreciated that the whole process from the proposal to the honeymoon was broken down he got some nuts-and-bolts dude detail.
Good book, though it didn't really help with the wedding planning. It tells the groom what to do and offers advice. Yet it insists that the bride's family will be paying for the wedding (which is not true in my case) and therefore doesn't help with the planning at all. It also includes stupid forms that you're supposed to photocopy and use, yet they're not useful and mainly page-filler. But I am glad that I read it and have it to refer to during this engagement and wedding planning process.
Despite the silliness, it's got some pretty useful tidbits of information. What's scary is how many times it's predicted changes in my fiancee's behavior.