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279 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2005
Our life in the former Soviet Union taught us that people’s only real defence against paranoia and deceit perpetuated by the totalitarian regime was their individualism – hungry, uncontrollable and self-renewing. Being part of the herd was a sure path to moral and psychological disintegration. For as long as I can remember, I have referred to emotionally or otherwise charged activities customarily done in groups (demonstrations, mediations, parties, book clubs and group tours) as ‘group sex’. Collective undertakings like these have always seemed to me like the very definition of unnatural acts. (p.33)
To this day, when I go to the sites of trauma, I always catch myself trying to keep the greatest possible distance from tourists. I am writing a book, I tell myself. I need to come here. I am not sightseeing, but gathering vital research. I have no curiosity, only the need to see these places with my own eyes. When I come to sites of trauma, I try not to stay in hotels. This is not just a money-saving strategy; I need to make sure I am not bound in any way to other tourists. If it so happens that I end up joining guided tours – an extremely rare turn of events, all in all – it is only to see what kind of stories are being fed to tourists – a category from which I obsessively exclude myself. (p.52-3)