What do you think?
Rate this book
Spotless #3
Crystal Whisperer
Sweet Jesus, this is it! Or maybe not.
Perpetually foiled romance heroine Island Chaptal and reformed cleaning expert March —or is it Mr. November?— are enjoying a pleasant break in South-Africa, after brushing death in the inhospitable and platypus-infested mountains of Liechtenstein...
That is, until a commercial flight disintegrates over the Atlantic, killing hundreds, and Island's supervillain dad makes the news as the mastermind behind the attack. Old Lion Dries is now on the run, and he calls upon his last ally —and favorite disciple— March.
From the streets of Venice to the turquoise waters of French Polynesia, March and Island embark on a deadly race against the clock to find out what secrets lie behind Dries’s downfall, and stop the mysterious “Crystal Whisperer” before it’s too late. This time, though, there might just be no winning against futuristic weapons, CIA agents, Roomba cats, (reluctantly) evil henchmen, and dads who won’t let you get your groove on, dammit!
Perpetually foiled romance heroine Island Chaptal and reformed cleaning expert March —or is it Mr. November?— are enjoying a pleasant break in South-Africa, after brushing death in the inhospitable and platypus-infested mountains of Liechtenstein...
That is, until a commercial flight disintegrates over the Atlantic, killing hundreds, and Island's supervillain dad makes the news as the mastermind behind the attack. Old Lion Dries is now on the run, and he calls upon his last ally —and favorite disciple— March.
From the streets of Venice to the turquoise waters of French Polynesia, March and Island embark on a deadly race against the clock to find out what secrets lie behind Dries’s downfall, and stop the mysterious “Crystal Whisperer” before it’s too late. This time, though, there might just be no winning against futuristic weapons, CIA agents, Roomba cats, (reluctantly) evil henchmen, and dads who won’t let you get your groove on, dammit!
330 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 30, 2016
225 people are currently reading
667 people want to read
About the author
Camilla Monk
12 books695 followersCamilla Monk is a Canadian author who rose to dubious fame with a romantic suspense series starring an OCD-ridden hitman and a wide array of strange and occasionally angry animals. These days she shares her writing time between high-octane adventures in the same vein and fantasy, her secret love (but with weird animals, too.)
She grew up in Paris in a Franco-American family, has lived in Tokyo, and spent ten years in advertising, building rickety websites for M&A boutiques and hedge funds. All of that somehow landed her in Montréal, where she keeps a close watch on the squirrels and complains on a daily basis about the egregious number of Tim Hortons.
She grew up in Paris in a Franco-American family, has lived in Tokyo, and spent ten years in advertising, building rickety websites for M&A boutiques and hedge funds. All of that somehow landed her in Montréal, where she keeps a close watch on the squirrels and complains on a daily basis about the egregious number of Tim Hortons.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 29 of 230 reviews
June 29, 2020
My family should have stayed away today
***4.5 Stars***
I spent the day in the Mum Cave today. Luckily hubby and my little one were at baseball most of the day and my oldest had some studying to do. This gave me a nearly full day of reading. Kind of a good thing…kind of a bad thing. See, Crystal Whisperer was intense. I am the sort of reader whose emotional upheaval from a book carries over to real life. So, when the book made me laugh and I walked out of my bedroom…I mean Mum Cave to get a drink of water, I would smile and chat to my son. But, if I’m in an intense part of the book and my son DARED to knock on my door to ask a question…he got squinty eyes and sneers for his interruption. Pretty much my day was an emotional rollercoaster…and my family suffered. I think my boys have gone to bed a little bit leery of me. Hopefully, they'll forgive me.
OMG!!!
If I didn’t love this author and this series so bloody much, I would be REALLY cranky with the ending of Crystal Whisperer. I AM STRESSED!! Island and March…well I just don’t know where we are at? My heart is still pumping from the end of the story. I don’t know who is good, bad, alive or dead. Do you know how they say that you sacrifice for something you like/love? Well, I absolutely hate cliffhangers but for the Spotless series, I keep going back for more.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what makes this series so great. I know that I spend the majority of my time reading with a grin on my face. The heroine Island (I know, strange name) is quirky and extremely funny. We get her thoughts warts and all. Island is a romantic at heart who has waited her whole life for Mr Right. Now that she thinks she’s found him, she’s trying her hardest to finally get past third base. Unfortunately, bombs, machine guns and sniper rifles seem to always distract them just before the deed is done. Running for your life seems a wee bit more important than bumping uglies.
March ( I know, strange name) is a little OCD. Extreme cleanliness and a need for control make him a fascinating character in my eyes. I still laugh when I think about how March and Island originally met. He is sent to kill her…and cleans her apartment instead. Not much has changed except now Island won’t sit still when he tells her to. Her confidence has increased which means she’s taking more risks. With March feeling a lot more for Island, he struggles when she puts herself in the path of danger. It was never going to be an easy relationship but March definitely thinks that the stress is worth it if he gets to keep Island.
As per usual with the Spotless series, this episode was action-packed and full of adventure. The baddies are out to get them and they must be one step ahead to stay alive. Island’s dad pops up again and brings a heap of trouble to their doorstep. Her ex is also giving them grief and making March extremely jealous and possessive. Each chapter starts by giving us a funny little one-liner from some of the corniest and funniest romance novels the author could think up. I’m pretty sure these stories don’t exist in real life, but each snippet left me with a big, goofy smile on my face. Crystal Whisperer had so many interesting little bits of information in it. I’m not sure if they were thought up or real but either way, the author does a great job in keeping me entertained.
I loved Crystal Whisperer and I’ve loved every episode in the Spotless series. I was a little frustrated at the ending knowing that I’ll have to wait to find out what happens, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. I can’t believe I love this series so much considering that I’ve been desperate for Island and March to get it on since the first book. It’s a true sign of the author's skills that I can still love them as a couple without the intimate scenes. I’m thinking it’s because I know it will happen (hopefully) in the future, I just have to be patient.
I’m a fan. If you like action, adventure, a good laugh and very witty dialogue, this series might be perfect for you. If you are interested, you must start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. There’s one more episode to go and hopefully it will be soon…ish.
Stacey is Sassy, received an advanced copy of this story. The copy provided is not the final copy and may be subject to edits and changes.
***4.5 Stars***
I spent the day in the Mum Cave today. Luckily hubby and my little one were at baseball most of the day and my oldest had some studying to do. This gave me a nearly full day of reading. Kind of a good thing…kind of a bad thing. See, Crystal Whisperer was intense. I am the sort of reader whose emotional upheaval from a book carries over to real life. So, when the book made me laugh and I walked out of my bedroom…I mean Mum Cave to get a drink of water, I would smile and chat to my son. But, if I’m in an intense part of the book and my son DARED to knock on my door to ask a question…he got squinty eyes and sneers for his interruption. Pretty much my day was an emotional rollercoaster…and my family suffered. I think my boys have gone to bed a little bit leery of me. Hopefully, they'll forgive me.
OMG!!!
If I didn’t love this author and this series so bloody much, I would be REALLY cranky with the ending of Crystal Whisperer. I AM STRESSED!! Island and March…well I just don’t know where we are at? My heart is still pumping from the end of the story. I don’t know who is good, bad, alive or dead. Do you know how they say that you sacrifice for something you like/love? Well, I absolutely hate cliffhangers but for the Spotless series, I keep going back for more.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what makes this series so great. I know that I spend the majority of my time reading with a grin on my face. The heroine Island (I know, strange name) is quirky and extremely funny. We get her thoughts warts and all. Island is a romantic at heart who has waited her whole life for Mr Right. Now that she thinks she’s found him, she’s trying her hardest to finally get past third base. Unfortunately, bombs, machine guns and sniper rifles seem to always distract them just before the deed is done. Running for your life seems a wee bit more important than bumping uglies.
March ( I know, strange name) is a little OCD. Extreme cleanliness and a need for control make him a fascinating character in my eyes. I still laugh when I think about how March and Island originally met. He is sent to kill her…and cleans her apartment instead. Not much has changed except now Island won’t sit still when he tells her to. Her confidence has increased which means she’s taking more risks. With March feeling a lot more for Island, he struggles when she puts herself in the path of danger. It was never going to be an easy relationship but March definitely thinks that the stress is worth it if he gets to keep Island.
As per usual with the Spotless series, this episode was action-packed and full of adventure. The baddies are out to get them and they must be one step ahead to stay alive. Island’s dad pops up again and brings a heap of trouble to their doorstep. Her ex is also giving them grief and making March extremely jealous and possessive. Each chapter starts by giving us a funny little one-liner from some of the corniest and funniest romance novels the author could think up. I’m pretty sure these stories don’t exist in real life, but each snippet left me with a big, goofy smile on my face. Crystal Whisperer had so many interesting little bits of information in it. I’m not sure if they were thought up or real but either way, the author does a great job in keeping me entertained.
I loved Crystal Whisperer and I’ve loved every episode in the Spotless series. I was a little frustrated at the ending knowing that I’ll have to wait to find out what happens, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. I can’t believe I love this series so much considering that I’ve been desperate for Island and March to get it on since the first book. It’s a true sign of the author's skills that I can still love them as a couple without the intimate scenes. I’m thinking it’s because I know it will happen (hopefully) in the future, I just have to be patient.
I’m a fan. If you like action, adventure, a good laugh and very witty dialogue, this series might be perfect for you. If you are interested, you must start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. There’s one more episode to go and hopefully it will be soon…ish.
Stacey is Sassy, received an advanced copy of this story. The copy provided is not the final copy and may be subject to edits and changes.
November 19, 2018
I'm going to be totally honest: Crystal Whisperer is my baby and it's my favorite of the three so far. It was harder to write than its siblings, but it's perhaps the closest to what I want for the series: a mix of light and darkness, cluttered with way too many obscure references.
Still, I'm slamming it with a sizzling one-star rating because I started a tradition, and I intend to stick to it. That's tough love—or child abuse. I'll let you be the judge of that.
Still, I'm slamming it with a sizzling one-star rating because I started a tradition, and I intend to stick to it. That's tough love—or child abuse. I'll let you be the judge of that.
February 19, 2017
After that epic series of cockblocking that left me with a literary case of blue balls I get an effing CLIFFHANGER?!!!
May 14, 2020
Revieved from author in exchange for review
OK, so this is going to be excessively weirdly shortish (in other words probably not all that short in reality and slightly gif heavy), mainly as I have sucked donkey balls at reviewing lately, I am coming off the back end of a chicken pox quarantine marathon in my house and quite frankly nothing but gin has seen my through the last few weeks!
Also, not going to say much about this book, as it is a book that you have to have read 1 and 2 for, so if you have got this far you are clearly hooked already!
So, anyway, lets go back in time...a long long time ago ( well about 18 months ago) and my reading book 1 in the series, all happy and enjoying it and then CLIFFHANGER!
Imagine that, but like x 1000.
Little innocent me...
Happy that i got my grubby little hands on book 3...
and then the end of this book!
However it is truly one of the MOST original awesome action packed crack laced page turner of a book/series I have ever read!! Adore March and Island. It is fun, full of drama and romance and quirky characters.
Oh and this is how I imagine the author while she is writing these books!
ORIGINAL WAITING FOR RELEASE REVIEW
OK, so this is going to be excessively weirdly shortish (in other words probably not all that short in reality and slightly gif heavy), mainly as I have sucked donkey balls at reviewing lately, I am coming off the back end of a chicken pox quarantine marathon in my house and quite frankly nothing but gin has seen my through the last few weeks!
Also, not going to say much about this book, as it is a book that you have to have read 1 and 2 for, so if you have got this far you are clearly hooked already!
So, anyway, lets go back in time...a long long time ago ( well about 18 months ago) and my reading book 1 in the series, all happy and enjoying it and then CLIFFHANGER!
Imagine that, but like x 1000.
Little innocent me...
Happy that i got my grubby little hands on book 3...
and then the end of this book!
However it is truly one of the MOST original awesome action packed crack laced page turner of a book/series I have ever read!! Adore March and Island. It is fun, full of drama and romance and quirky characters.
Oh and this is how I imagine the author while she is writing these books!
ORIGINAL WAITING FOR RELEASE REVIEW
November 16, 2016
4.5 Stars
I was so happy to be offered the opportunity to read an ARC of the Crystal Whisperer --this book served as a perfect distraction from the crazy election! I love the Spotless series, and the Crystal Whisperer did not disappoint!
Island and March’s relationship develops, there’s a ton of action, plenty of quirks, and of course my favorite over the top faux romance novel quotes! I was smiling until the very end (even in spite of the cliffhanger).
Camilla Monk—that ending hurt! Can’t believe you are making us wait until book four!
Please note that you need to read this series in order.
I received an ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
I was so happy to be offered the opportunity to read an ARC of the Crystal Whisperer --this book served as a perfect distraction from the crazy election! I love the Spotless series, and the Crystal Whisperer did not disappoint!
Island and March’s relationship develops, there’s a ton of action, plenty of quirks, and of course my favorite over the top faux romance novel quotes! I was smiling until the very end (even in spite of the cliffhanger).
Camilla Monk—that ending hurt! Can’t believe you are making us wait until book four!
Please note that you need to read this series in order.
I received an ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
June 16, 2017
***** 4.5 Stars *****
Cannot be read as a standalone
Island and March can't catch a break. Her wish of finally losing her virginity is extinguished by a new deadly threat. Someone wants to capture Island and eliminate March. Island's biological father is also a target.
The story is action packed and there is never a dull moment. This book isn't as random as the previous books, but it is just as funny, quirky, and cheesy.
My favorite part of this book is reading about March and Dries's history. It's really complicated, and I just know more will be explained in the next book. Island and March are also a little different as they try to make their dangerous relationship work. Like every couple, they have some trust issues to work on. Unlike every couple, they have to survive to live another day.
If this series is new to you, I highly recommend starting from book 1 to get a better sense of all the characters. If you love cheesy scenarios, cats riding on Roombas, and silky chest hair, you need to pick this up!
Cannot be read as a standalone
Island and March can't catch a break. Her wish of finally losing her virginity is extinguished by a new deadly threat. Someone wants to capture Island and eliminate March. Island's biological father is also a target.
The story is action packed and there is never a dull moment. This book isn't as random as the previous books, but it is just as funny, quirky, and cheesy.
My favorite part of this book is reading about March and Dries's history. It's really complicated, and I just know more will be explained in the next book. Island and March are also a little different as they try to make their dangerous relationship work. Like every couple, they have some trust issues to work on. Unlike every couple, they have to survive to live another day.
If this series is new to you, I highly recommend starting from book 1 to get a better sense of all the characters. If you love cheesy scenarios, cats riding on Roombas, and silky chest hair, you need to pick this up!
June 27, 2017
Must.read.part.four ... Who needs sleep and work anyways?!? This third book did not disappoint, one of the funniest, quirkiest, loveable series i've read in a while, and i literally gasped when i read the cliffhanger. I want to read number four but i dont want to read number four because i dont want it to end! Love Island and March!
February 13, 2017
This is one of those series that when I’m reading it, I have an urge to finish the book in one sitting. And when I’m not reading it, I’m just thinking about reading it (even though I probbbably should be spending my time studying). This series has captured my mind – HELP.
Plot
For most of the book, it’s rather fun with the mystery-solving and action. It’s highly entertaining.
And the last 10% was… Holy shit! What just happened – I don’t even know! I have to applaud Monk for her insaneeeee plot twists and for keeping me on my toes. I literally could not breathe – I literally still can’t breathe. The development and the suspense are amazing. I love that this book can be super amusing and funny at times, and crazy intense at others.
Characters
--Island: Her mom was a spy. Her dad is a supervillain. And her soul mate is a professional killer. And she’s…she’s a nerdy girl who loves food and is immensely likable. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE??? Her thoughts and comments are random, relatable things. She’s funny and adorable – I can’t deal! I love that she befriends anyone, including a CIA agent, whom she adds on Facebook and likes to discuss cute cat videos with. Basically – I LOVE HER.
--March: I love March. He’s badass and scary, but such a teddy bear too. I seriously adore him.
Romance
I really like seeing Island and March’s relationship develop in this book. It’s still new for them and they’re learning how to make this relationship work – between a former hitman and a “normal” girl. It’s also interesting to see them work through some fights, especially pertaining to how they both don’t completely trust each other yet.
I love that they’re absolutely opposites. She’s sweet and quirky. He’s a badass who’s usually rather serious and pessimistic. They’re both also quite flawed. She’s impulsive and at times naïve. He’s controlling and secretive. They somehow work. Their chemistry is great, and really, their scenes are my favorites in this book because the way they interact with each other is so funny and cute!
AND HOW CAN THEY MAKE THE IDEA OF LOCKING HER IN THE CAR’S TRUNK INTO SOMETHING CUTE?? I DON’T KNOW. I don’t want to question it or question what that says about me. It’s some weird sort of “cute bantering” that wouldn’t work anywhere else but here, honestly. I think it’s because the bottom line is that March wants what is best for Island. He’ll do anything for her safety, and he can be rather alpha male and controlling at times, but he always has good intentions when it comes to her. The way he protects and cherishes her is just everyyyyything.
Final Thoughts
I’m giving this 4 solid stars. I immensely enjoyed it – with the mystery and action and romance and humor, etc. etc. The characters also make me laugh – they’re endearing and quirky. Besides the main characters (whom I totally adore), there are other unique characters in this book, and I love seeing that the characters are both complex and just genuinely entertaining. Also, the romance is adorable and makes me fangirl 24/7. I seriously CANNOT wait for the next book!
Things that you might want to know (WARNING: Spoilers below)
Is there a happy/satisfying ending?
Love triangle? Cheating? Angst level?
Tears-worthy?
Humor?
Favorite scene?
What age level would be appropriate?
Plot
For most of the book, it’s rather fun with the mystery-solving and action. It’s highly entertaining.
And the last 10% was… Holy shit! What just happened – I don’t even know! I have to applaud Monk for her insaneeeee plot twists and for keeping me on my toes. I literally could not breathe – I literally still can’t breathe. The development and the suspense are amazing. I love that this book can be super amusing and funny at times, and crazy intense at others.
Characters
--Island: Her mom was a spy. Her dad is a supervillain. And her soul mate is a professional killer. And she’s…she’s a nerdy girl who loves food and is immensely likable. WHY IS SHE SO CUTE??? Her thoughts and comments are random, relatable things. She’s funny and adorable – I can’t deal! I love that she befriends anyone, including a CIA agent, whom she adds on Facebook and likes to discuss cute cat videos with. Basically – I LOVE HER.
--March: I love March. He’s badass and scary, but such a teddy bear too. I seriously adore him.
Romance
I really like seeing Island and March’s relationship develop in this book. It’s still new for them and they’re learning how to make this relationship work – between a former hitman and a “normal” girl. It’s also interesting to see them work through some fights, especially pertaining to how they both don’t completely trust each other yet.
I love that they’re absolutely opposites. She’s sweet and quirky. He’s a badass who’s usually rather serious and pessimistic. They’re both also quite flawed. She’s impulsive and at times naïve. He’s controlling and secretive. They somehow work. Their chemistry is great, and really, their scenes are my favorites in this book because the way they interact with each other is so funny and cute!
AND HOW CAN THEY MAKE THE IDEA OF LOCKING HER IN THE CAR’S TRUNK INTO SOMETHING CUTE?? I DON’T KNOW. I don’t want to question it or question what that says about me. It’s some weird sort of “cute bantering” that wouldn’t work anywhere else but here, honestly. I think it’s because the bottom line is that March wants what is best for Island. He’ll do anything for her safety, and he can be rather alpha male and controlling at times, but he always has good intentions when it comes to her. The way he protects and cherishes her is just everyyyyything.
Final Thoughts
I’m giving this 4 solid stars. I immensely enjoyed it – with the mystery and action and romance and humor, etc. etc. The characters also make me laugh – they’re endearing and quirky. Besides the main characters (whom I totally adore), there are other unique characters in this book, and I love seeing that the characters are both complex and just genuinely entertaining. Also, the romance is adorable and makes me fangirl 24/7. I seriously CANNOT wait for the next book!
Things that you might want to know (WARNING: Spoilers below)
Is there a happy/satisfying ending?
Love triangle? Cheating? Angst level?
Tears-worthy?
Humor?
Favorite scene?
What age level would be appropriate?
November 30, 2016
"I feed from your tears."
You might think this quote is from hit man March; colossal baddy daddy Dries; the Spotless Series' newest scary villain, Lucca Gerone; or even the slightly unhinged ex-boyfriend, Alex Morgan. But no. This quote is from author Camilla Monk, directed with diabolical glee to her readers in the afterword to Crystal Whisperer. Well, Ms. Monk got fat off of me.
There were tears of laughter, tears of fear, and tears of frustration. And maybe some wimpy tired-eye tears because I stayed up so late last night reading the latest page-turner by the irrepressible Ms. Monk.
The third installment in the ongoing adventures of the hunky hired gun with the perfect pelt of chestnut chest hair, that's March November, and the diminutive target of all his OCD affection, that's Island Chaptal, is a blast - literally - from beginning to end. Similar to previous entries in this series, the over-the-top action is nonstop. The imagination needed and the resultant high octane thrills for the adventure scenarios will get your pulse pounding, especially the little side trip to the sunny beaches of.....Croatia? Before I plan my next trip, I clearly need to hire Ms. Monk as my travel agent; I think she could find the unpolished gem in any region. But seriously, this author has an unparalleled ability to perfectly illustrate, with words, the most fantastical scenery, buildings, and far-fetched action sequences you can envision. I see a technicolor movie masterpiece in my mind when I read one of her books. Unfortunately, action-adventures laden with special effects rarely win the statue of the naked man.
The trademark humor of the series continues in this book. Invariably, for me, it was the animal humor. Ms. Monk could turn a zoo map into a comedic script. Let's see, there were otters, ostriches, emu, baboons, portly pooches, armadillos, dolphins and Roomba riding cats. I laughed each time a member of the animal kingdom made an appearance.
But before you get the paper bag to handle all the high octane hyperventilating, experienced Spotless series readers should know that this book is a little different. The sustained laugh factor was way down, as were the quips. I don't know. Is Island growing up? Has adulthood clasped its weighty arms around her? Is danger not so funny when the people you love might get hurt? This installment was deeper, a little darker. Like I said, not all the tears were from laughter. Copious clan members are back from previous novels, and the way the family reunion was going I thought this might be the end of March and Island's escapades. Maybe there would be a certain amount of closure. Maybe, maybe the sexual teasing would stop. Sadly, no spoilers here; read and find out. And weep a little while you're at it.
I received an ARC from the author for an honest opinion.
You might think this quote is from hit man March; colossal baddy daddy Dries; the Spotless Series' newest scary villain, Lucca Gerone; or even the slightly unhinged ex-boyfriend, Alex Morgan. But no. This quote is from author Camilla Monk, directed with diabolical glee to her readers in the afterword to Crystal Whisperer. Well, Ms. Monk got fat off of me.
There were tears of laughter, tears of fear, and tears of frustration. And maybe some wimpy tired-eye tears because I stayed up so late last night reading the latest page-turner by the irrepressible Ms. Monk.
The third installment in the ongoing adventures of the hunky hired gun with the perfect pelt of chestnut chest hair, that's March November, and the diminutive target of all his OCD affection, that's Island Chaptal, is a blast - literally - from beginning to end. Similar to previous entries in this series, the over-the-top action is nonstop. The imagination needed and the resultant high octane thrills for the adventure scenarios will get your pulse pounding, especially the little side trip to the sunny beaches of.....Croatia? Before I plan my next trip, I clearly need to hire Ms. Monk as my travel agent; I think she could find the unpolished gem in any region. But seriously, this author has an unparalleled ability to perfectly illustrate, with words, the most fantastical scenery, buildings, and far-fetched action sequences you can envision. I see a technicolor movie masterpiece in my mind when I read one of her books. Unfortunately, action-adventures laden with special effects rarely win the statue of the naked man.
The trademark humor of the series continues in this book. Invariably, for me, it was the animal humor. Ms. Monk could turn a zoo map into a comedic script. Let's see, there were otters, ostriches, emu, baboons, portly pooches, armadillos, dolphins and Roomba riding cats. I laughed each time a member of the animal kingdom made an appearance.
But before you get the paper bag to handle all the high octane hyperventilating, experienced Spotless series readers should know that this book is a little different. The sustained laugh factor was way down, as were the quips. I don't know. Is Island growing up? Has adulthood clasped its weighty arms around her? Is danger not so funny when the people you love might get hurt? This installment was deeper, a little darker. Like I said, not all the tears were from laughter. Copious clan members are back from previous novels, and the way the family reunion was going I thought this might be the end of March and Island's escapades. Maybe there would be a certain amount of closure. Maybe, maybe the sexual teasing would stop. Sadly, no spoilers here; read and find out. And weep a little while you're at it.
I received an ARC from the author for an honest opinion.
August 16, 2017
4,5 Stars
Another thoroughly entertaining globe-trotting adventure for Island and March, the romance reader extraordinaire heroine and the mystery man hero.
Fun, action-packed, over-the-top humorous, quirky and original book 3 in the series.
November 29, 2016
4.5 stars
-Another heartpounding entry. A great spy action/adventure series, The Crystal Whisperer starts off with a tease (we’ll get to that later) and then dives straight into some crazy action that never lets up even as we get to that ending. Oh that ending *stares off in the distance* This is a series that is best to experience firsthand, so I will keep this as free of spoilers as absolutely necessary. OK, let’s start this.
-So funny and smart. March (my favoritest OCD former/kind of current assassin) and Island, (awkward woman/my spirit twin), have some precious down time from their last mission and come oh so close to finally doing the deed. Instead, the past comes rushing back when a plane literally disintegrates, killing all aboard. The world believes it’s Dries, Island’s long lost father, and trying to unravel the mystery of the Crystal Whisperer takes them all over the globe in a race to stop another disaster. And along, the way, we get some more romance.
-Not quite a standalone. While there’s plenty of recapping of the adventures of the two earlier books (Spotless and Beating Ruby), I think the story won’t have the same impact if you haven’t read those. Since they’re great, I have no hesitation in recommending them.
-The epitome of dangling the carrot. Ok, *deep sigh* I know Ms. Monk delights in the frustrated tears of her readers, so this is not just a lovely postscript where they bang like bunnies in a secluded area while discussing their feelings. *grumbles* I mean, I would love that, but I think it’s all part and parcel of the torture...I mean, joy of March and Island’s romance that keeps me coming back for more. March and Island’s road to romance (ok, road to banging like bunnies anyway) has been fraught with tension and has driven me crazy in the best possible way.
-That ending. Speaking of cliffhangers, this ending had my heart in my throat and I kept trying to flip to the next page, even after I realized that THIS is where Ms. Monk left us. It’s freaking torture. I loathe cliffhangers with the heat of a thousand suns (so I had to shave a little off the rating because of it) and yet, this series is definitely the exception to my rule. I’m truly hoping it all comes to a satisfying conclusion, but in all honesty the journey has been phenomenal.
4.5 stars
I truly enjoyed this so much, and it’s a testament to Ms. Monk’s writing that I adore it so much because I LOATHE cliffhangers. A smart, funny, emotional and tumultuous adventure that kept my heart in its grip throughout, even as the ending decided to do a tapdance on it. So, *distractedly* yes, I definitely recommend this, though I suggest starting from the beginning so you can get the full March and Island effect. I need it to be May right now.
**ARC provided by author for review**
For more reviews, visit
-Another heartpounding entry. A great spy action/adventure series, The Crystal Whisperer starts off with a tease (we’ll get to that later) and then dives straight into some crazy action that never lets up even as we get to that ending. Oh that ending *stares off in the distance* This is a series that is best to experience firsthand, so I will keep this as free of spoilers as absolutely necessary. OK, let’s start this.
-So funny and smart. March (my favoritest OCD former/kind of current assassin) and Island, (awkward woman/my spirit twin), have some precious down time from their last mission and come oh so close to finally doing the deed. Instead, the past comes rushing back when a plane literally disintegrates, killing all aboard. The world believes it’s Dries, Island’s long lost father, and trying to unravel the mystery of the Crystal Whisperer takes them all over the globe in a race to stop another disaster. And along, the way, we get some more romance.
-Not quite a standalone. While there’s plenty of recapping of the adventures of the two earlier books (Spotless and Beating Ruby), I think the story won’t have the same impact if you haven’t read those. Since they’re great, I have no hesitation in recommending them.
-The epitome of dangling the carrot. Ok, *deep sigh* I know Ms. Monk delights in the frustrated tears of her readers, so this is not just a lovely postscript where they bang like bunnies in a secluded area while discussing their feelings. *grumbles* I mean, I would love that, but I think it’s all part and parcel of the torture...I mean, joy of March and Island’s romance that keeps me coming back for more. March and Island’s road to romance (ok, road to banging like bunnies anyway) has been fraught with tension and has driven me crazy in the best possible way.
-That ending. Speaking of cliffhangers, this ending had my heart in my throat and I kept trying to flip to the next page, even after I realized that THIS is where Ms. Monk left us. It’s freaking torture. I loathe cliffhangers with the heat of a thousand suns (so I had to shave a little off the rating because of it) and yet, this series is definitely the exception to my rule. I’m truly hoping it all comes to a satisfying conclusion, but in all honesty the journey has been phenomenal.
4.5 stars
I truly enjoyed this so much, and it’s a testament to Ms. Monk’s writing that I adore it so much because I LOATHE cliffhangers. A smart, funny, emotional and tumultuous adventure that kept my heart in its grip throughout, even as the ending decided to do a tapdance on it. So, *distractedly* yes, I definitely recommend this, though I suggest starting from the beginning so you can get the full March and Island effect. I need it to be May right now.
**ARC provided by author for review**
For more reviews, visit
May 8, 2018
2.5 stars
June 7, 2020
She had me at Johnny Clegg BUT for the "bloody" cliffhanger! An intercate and an interesting plot, made for a much better read. Witty and smexy as ever!
November 20, 2023
*eye twitching* will they ever fuck
honestly, it’s getting ridiculous at this point. and that’s coming from me. ME. i HATE sex scenes in books but dear god, let them bone.
also i dont care for the plot, it’s been a while since it made me laugh out loud, and quite frankly i’m only here for March and his chest hair and the biscuit pet name.
honestly, it’s getting ridiculous at this point. and that’s coming from me. ME. i HATE sex scenes in books but dear god, let them bone.
also i dont care for the plot, it’s been a while since it made me laugh out loud, and quite frankly i’m only here for March and his chest hair and the biscuit pet name.
Read
November 17, 2016No! Noooooo! Nooooooo you cannot dooooo this to meeeee!
/whine
This third book is just as fast-paced, crazy, funny, vivid, and exhilarating as the first two. Maybe even more so.
Island is our first-person narrator, still trying to get together with her sorta-reformed-hit man love interest March, AKA Mr. November, Mr. August, etc. (You get the pattern.) He's a hit man (ex) with an unnervingly efficient cross between secretary and Jeeves, Phyllis, but we only see her through phone chats, alas.
But Island and March need Phyllis as they fall into one dangerous adventure after another, chasing all over fascinating locales in Europe and far archipelagos. Island's . . . interesting dad shows up, with even shadier characters behind him, and so does Island's soft-eyed, psychopathic ex b.f.
The action never stops, but what really drilled me down was the evolution of the characters. Island is learning to think on the run, and to act. March is learning as well. Watching these two--especially Island when she discovers truths about her past--negotiate the minefields of emotions while dancing across the minefields of Bad Guy Europe is such a pleasure.
These books are romantic suspense crack, with smart references, hilarious quotes at the beginning of each chapter, and high octane adventure. But the ending? AUUUUUUGH!
Let's just say that there is going to be a forth, coming in May 2017. Which will give me enough time to reread all three!
ARC furnished courtesy of author.
/whine
This third book is just as fast-paced, crazy, funny, vivid, and exhilarating as the first two. Maybe even more so.
Island is our first-person narrator, still trying to get together with her sorta-reformed-hit man love interest March, AKA Mr. November, Mr. August, etc. (You get the pattern.) He's a hit man (ex) with an unnervingly efficient cross between secretary and Jeeves, Phyllis, but we only see her through phone chats, alas.
But Island and March need Phyllis as they fall into one dangerous adventure after another, chasing all over fascinating locales in Europe and far archipelagos. Island's . . . interesting dad shows up, with even shadier characters behind him, and so does Island's soft-eyed, psychopathic ex b.f.
The action never stops, but what really drilled me down was the evolution of the characters. Island is learning to think on the run, and to act. March is learning as well. Watching these two--especially Island when she discovers truths about her past--negotiate the minefields of emotions while dancing across the minefields of Bad Guy Europe is such a pleasure.
These books are romantic suspense crack, with smart references, hilarious quotes at the beginning of each chapter, and high octane adventure. But the ending? AUUUUUUGH!
Let's just say that there is going to be a forth, coming in May 2017. Which will give me enough time to reread all three!
ARC furnished courtesy of author.
September 5, 2019
4.5
⭐⭐⭐⭐✨
Island & March with Dries😁
Oh my gosh what an ending 😲!!! This one is my favorite out of the three I’ve read in the series.. Heart-stopping action scenes, funny banters and a very enthralling March. It was very difficult to put my Kindle down. Each page were cleverly crafted to hook you to keep reading.
Let's not forget those heartbreaking scenes 💔😭 Karl, Dries, March then Stiles 😲. I am also starting to hate The Queen!! 😤
Great addition to the series. Can't wait to start the next one. 😊
Island & March with Dries😁
Oh my gosh what an ending 😲!!! This one is my favorite out of the three I’ve read in the series.. Heart-stopping action scenes, funny banters and a very enthralling March. It was very difficult to put my Kindle down. Each page were cleverly crafted to hook you to keep reading.
Let's not forget those heartbreaking scenes 💔😭 Karl, Dries, March then Stiles 😲. I am also starting to hate The Queen!! 😤
Great addition to the series. Can't wait to start the next one. 😊
May 21, 2017
I need
December 7, 2016
Oh hell no dammit !!!!! A fuckin cliffy... I mean girl Camilla , all this time you gave us an "oooh dang , vagina shuttered ( female equivalent of being cock blocked ) yet again .. ah well next time " . But this time .. girl this time you played us good .. real good!
** slow claps **
So here we are in book number 3 thinking finally , finally Island and March are gonna do the chitty chitty bang bang .. but no . Plans foiled due to expired condoms and Ghastly terrorist attack in which a plane is blown to smithereens killing all the passengers aboard . The suspect - Dries , March's mentor and mastermind super villain . But this time Dries is innocent and enlists the help of March and Island to assist hiim catching the real culprit .
Like with all the books in this series , The Crystal Whisperer was a fun filled adventure , with the usual shenanigans and a good dose of action . Island is still her crazy self but I feel like she has grown to love this life of badassery and is not hesitant to jump into highly dangerous and risky situations.. March on the other hand, having realised his feelings for Island coupled up with his severe OCD , does not know how to handle Island and her crazy . Also , because he is soooo used to living life like a lone Wolf assassin , struggles with suddenly finding himself in love and having to care about someone other than his work. And let's not forget , these two still have to do the dirty.. Oh my God talk about sexual tension and blue balls ! Camilla Monk , you better give us an epic finale in the final book with March banging the ever loving fucks out of Island... or else I'm sending my mind controlled diabolical pigeons to rain poop over your house woman !!!Just kidding , PLEASE PLEASE give us an awesome end to the series!!!!
I'm not even gonna talk about the way this book ended . Hell no , not going there at all . We have to wait till May (?) I think, I just can't... can't!!!!!
** slow claps **
So here we are in book number 3 thinking finally , finally Island and March are gonna do the chitty chitty bang bang .. but no . Plans foiled due to expired condoms and Ghastly terrorist attack in which a plane is blown to smithereens killing all the passengers aboard . The suspect - Dries , March's mentor and mastermind super villain . But this time Dries is innocent and enlists the help of March and Island to assist hiim catching the real culprit .
Like with all the books in this series , The Crystal Whisperer was a fun filled adventure , with the usual shenanigans and a good dose of action . Island is still her crazy self but I feel like she has grown to love this life of badassery and is not hesitant to jump into highly dangerous and risky situations.. March on the other hand, having realised his feelings for Island coupled up with his severe OCD , does not know how to handle Island and her crazy . Also , because he is soooo used to living life like a lone Wolf assassin , struggles with suddenly finding himself in love and having to care about someone other than his work. And let's not forget , these two still have to do the dirty.. Oh my God talk about sexual tension and blue balls ! Camilla Monk , you better give us an epic finale in the final book with March banging the ever loving fucks out of Island... or else I'm sending my mind controlled diabolical pigeons to rain poop over your house woman !!!Just kidding , PLEASE PLEASE give us an awesome end to the series!!!!
I'm not even gonna talk about the way this book ended . Hell no , not going there at all . We have to wait till May (?) I think, I just can't... can't!!!!!
November 17, 2016
I have never loved or hated anyone as much as Camila Monk in this moment.
It was glorious.
I just love this series.
A satire about romance novels in a romance novel? It started with Spotless, but it continued in Beating Ruby and Crystal Whisperer in all it's fantastic glory. Yes. It continues.
And when you think it can't get any better, you end up in a pool with dolphins.
I love March and Island. Their character and relationship growth over the past three books have been delightful.
Is March the perfect OCD reformed hitman we have been waiting for our entire lives? Yes. Yes, I think he is.
Mystery and action are in no short supply in this book. It's a nonstop good time to be had by mercenaries and spooks alike.
I wait on bated breath for the next book.
Camila Monk is the hidden gem of comedic romantic suspense satires.
She's basically a national treasure. Of which nation you might ask. All of them.
It was glorious.
I just love this series.
A satire about romance novels in a romance novel? It started with Spotless, but it continued in Beating Ruby and Crystal Whisperer in all it's fantastic glory. Yes. It continues.
And when you think it can't get any better, you end up in a pool with dolphins.
I love March and Island. Their character and relationship growth over the past three books have been delightful.
Is March the perfect OCD reformed hitman we have been waiting for our entire lives? Yes. Yes, I think he is.
Mystery and action are in no short supply in this book. It's a nonstop good time to be had by mercenaries and spooks alike.
I wait on bated breath for the next book.
Camila Monk is the hidden gem of comedic romantic suspense satires.
She's basically a national treasure. Of which nation you might ask. All of them.
Want to read
May 17, 2018💝The complete series is FREE on Amazon today (5/17/2018)!💝
November 15, 2016
WHAT?
WHAT?
..................
Alright, now that I've calmed myself down a bit, from that fall I did NOT see coming - since I never expected our dear sweet CM to have a monocle and an evil mustache.. or a set of railroad tracks for that matter..
But aside from all that, this book was unbelievably brilliant, fast paced (it really didn't stop after paragraph 2) and is by far my favorite!
Don't get me wrong, Spotless and Beating Ruby were Amazing books, this one was just...I dunno, it had more chutzpah maybe? Anyhow, I'm really looking forward to book 4, and I really don't want it to get here at all. I already hate the fact that these two only have one more book but NEED to read and see how it all turns out.
These are the things I want to see..
1) March and Island together forever until death do they part
B) Dries getting the smacking he deserves, then getting a hobby he so clearly needs
3) A roaring good toast over the demise of ..
4) The introduction of the baby ostrich 'Biscuit Buns' they adopt (or Cookie Muffin)
R) Butterfly in Amber making it's world debut in March
*le sigh*
(I was given this book by the lovely Camilla Monk who did NOT influence my opinion on it - that's my own crazy)
WHAT?
..................
Alright, now that I've calmed myself down a bit, from that fall I did NOT see coming - since I never expected our dear sweet CM to have a monocle and an evil mustache.. or a set of railroad tracks for that matter..
But aside from all that, this book was unbelievably brilliant, fast paced (it really didn't stop after paragraph 2) and is by far my favorite!
Don't get me wrong, Spotless and Beating Ruby were Amazing books, this one was just...I dunno, it had more chutzpah maybe? Anyhow, I'm really looking forward to book 4, and I really don't want it to get here at all. I already hate the fact that these two only have one more book but NEED to read and see how it all turns out.
These are the things I want to see..
1) March and Island together forever until death do they part
B) Dries getting the smacking he deserves, then getting a hobby he so clearly needs
3) A roaring good toast over the demise of ..
4) The introduction of the baby ostrich 'Biscuit Buns' they adopt (or Cookie Muffin)
R) Butterfly in Amber making it's world debut in March
*le sigh*
(I was given this book by the lovely Camilla Monk who did NOT influence my opinion on it - that's my own crazy)
Want to read
March 3, 2016Me, begging for an ARC:
April 11, 2018
4 so good stars
Why did I wait so long to read this one. I loved books 1 & 2. The characters, the action and suspense, the slow burn, the subtle humor - I have to read book 4 now. I can't believe I've liked each book so far in the series. Crossing my fingers I won't be disappointed on book 4. What a good read.
Why did I wait so long to read this one. I loved books 1 & 2. The characters, the action and suspense, the slow burn, the subtle humor - I have to read book 4 now. I can't believe I've liked each book so far in the series. Crossing my fingers I won't be disappointed on book 4. What a good read.
December 29, 2019
I originally knocked a star off because of the cliffhanger ending but after some thought, I decided that was unfair and edited to give the full 5 it deserves. Plus I’m pretty sure this isn’t a cheap attempt by the author to drive more sales, I think she actually likes to torment her a fans s little.
This series is very well written and laugh out loud funny. Some of it is over the top but totally believable once you suspend reality enough to immerse yourself into a James-Bond-like world (Ian Fleming was no more or less believable)...and poking fun at the romance genre is the icing on top - Highly entertaining!
This series is very well written and laugh out loud funny. Some of it is over the top but totally believable once you suspend reality enough to immerse yourself into a James-Bond-like world (Ian Fleming was no more or less believable)...and poking fun at the romance genre is the icing on top - Highly entertaining!
January 10, 2023
Wtf?
W.T.F. was THAT?
Argh! I'm a little in awe on this one. It was stellar, but can't talk now.
On to the next!
W.T.F. was THAT?
Argh! I'm a little in awe on this one. It was stellar, but can't talk now.
On to the next!
November 14, 2016
**ARC kindly received from author in exchange for an honest review**
1st half: Awww. I do love me a bit of March.
2nd Half: HOLY SHITBALLS.
The only reason I didn't read the whole book in one sitting was because I had to go to work. My entire shift consisted of me clock-watching and bouncing in impatience so that I could get back to the book.
The story, like the others previously in the series is written from the heroine Island's POV.
Island has been written with such irreverence that it provides the much needed comic relief from the situation she finds herself in. This tied in with the internet meme references (I feel like CM is my kindred spirit in that regard...I should send her a dickbutt) it just makes me love her all the more.
Also March is so serious and complex, in such a fantastic way. In Crystal Whisperer we get to learn some snippets of his pass which add to his depth.
The book finishes on a massive cliffhanger, but it's a great one and well worth the wait for the final book Butterfly in Amber which is due in May 2017.
Crystal Whisperer was originally due out back in July (I think) but due to editing issues was put back. I don't know the reasons behind the issues, but I really hope it wasn't an attack of the wibblies for the author as the suspense and imagery of her writing are skillfully done.
Camilla Monk is such a talented writer and she will always be a go-to author for me.
5 flashy neon stars!
1st half: Awww. I do love me a bit of March.
2nd Half: HOLY SHITBALLS.
The only reason I didn't read the whole book in one sitting was because I had to go to work. My entire shift consisted of me clock-watching and bouncing in impatience so that I could get back to the book.
The story, like the others previously in the series is written from the heroine Island's POV.
Island has been written with such irreverence that it provides the much needed comic relief from the situation she finds herself in. This tied in with the internet meme references (I feel like CM is my kindred spirit in that regard...I should send her a dickbutt) it just makes me love her all the more.
Also March is so serious and complex, in such a fantastic way. In Crystal Whisperer we get to learn some snippets of his pass which add to his depth.
The book finishes on a massive cliffhanger, but it's a great one and well worth the wait for the final book Butterfly in Amber which is due in May 2017.
Crystal Whisperer was originally due out back in July (I think) but due to editing issues was put back. I don't know the reasons behind the issues, but I really hope it wasn't an attack of the wibblies for the author as the suspense and imagery of her writing are skillfully done.
Camilla Monk is such a talented writer and she will always be a go-to author for me.
5 flashy neon stars!
May 17, 2018
I’m addicted to this series. Clearly. This one was even better than the other because...things.
There are a billion romance novels that promise you a “damaged hero” who’s saved by the heroine. And generally you get a controlling psycho who needs meds, a therapist and a restraining order. The couple doesn’t work on anything but humping - and the dude is inevitably saved by a magic vagina and no dialogue.
March and Island ARE a mess. But they’re fixing it with words. And trust. And horrible experiences that force them to get stronger. All while the book remains funny and exciting and cute. I cannot get over how well-done, smart and enthralling these books are. I’m delighted to have discovered this author.
Truth - I planned on reading an ARC that has to have a review by 5/29 before I read book 4. I wanted to drag this series out. However, plans change. I’m off to book 4 right meow.
There are a billion romance novels that promise you a “damaged hero” who’s saved by the heroine. And generally you get a controlling psycho who needs meds, a therapist and a restraining order. The couple doesn’t work on anything but humping - and the dude is inevitably saved by a magic vagina and no dialogue.
March and Island ARE a mess. But they’re fixing it with words. And trust. And horrible experiences that force them to get stronger. All while the book remains funny and exciting and cute. I cannot get over how well-done, smart and enthralling these books are. I’m delighted to have discovered this author.
Truth - I planned on reading an ARC that has to have a review by 5/29 before I read book 4. I wanted to drag this series out. However, plans change. I’m off to book 4 right meow.
May 17, 2018
Holy cliffhanger Batman! On to the next book.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 230 reviews