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The Pleasure Wars #2

Una lady irresistibile

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Per aiutare un'amica, lady Portia si reca alla famigerata Donville Masquerade, una festa sfrenata che si tiene in una delle case da gioco più famose di Londra. Protetta da una maschera, assiste scioccata ad atti peccaminosi di ogni genere, finendo per soccombere lei stessa al tocco di Miles, marchese di Weatherfield. Sorpresi in una situazione compromettente, ai due non resta che il matrimonio per evitare lo scandalo. E sebbene Miles non desideri affatto sposarsi, non può resistere all'audace proposta di Portia, così come non può sottrarsi al richiamo dei sensi e della passione.

193 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 19, 2013

152 people are currently reading
542 people want to read

About the author

Jess Michaels

120 books1,576 followers
Jess Michaels is a USA Today Bestselling Author who likes geeky stuff like Star Wars, playing video games (she ships herself with Dragon Age’s Iron Bull FOREVER), Bob’s Burgers and collecting POPs! She also drinks a LOT of Diet Coke. Probably an unhealthy amount, but it’s her only vice. She will eat (almost) anything coconut, truly anything cheesy and nothing spicy (yes, she is a walking stereotype when it comes to that). She likes cats, her dog Elton and people who care about the welfare of their fellow humans.

Although she started out traditionally published by Avon/HarperCollins, Pocket, Hachette and Samhain Publishing, in 2015 she went fully indie and has never looked back! She is lucky enough to be married to her favorite person in the world and live tucked between the ocean and the mountains in Oregon.

When she’s not watching Our Flag Means Death or trying out all the new flavors of Greek yogurt, she writes historical romances with smoking hot heroes and sassy heroines who do anything but wait to get what they want.

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5 stars
387 (31%)
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466 (37%)
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295 (23%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
Profile Image for Debra Johnson.
11k reviews181 followers
July 12, 2025
Pleasuring The Lady by Jess Michaels
Genres: Adult, Erotica, Historical, Romance
4 Stars

Historical romances are not my favorite, but there are a few authors who write them so well that I can't resist reading them. Jess Michaels is one of those authors.
I can't say I love all her books, but I can say I love most of the ones I have read of hers. This is one I loved.

My reason for 4 stars is do to a few typos/editing errors. One of which really stood out.
I didn't highlight them all, but the ones I did are visible on my Kindle Notes on Goodreads.

This is my 2nd book in this series I have read and I really enjoyed it.

Other than the above mentioned errors, the story flows quickly and smoothly.
Her world build is very well done. You can easily picture the time frame of old London from the visual to the attitude of the people at that time.

It is a lovely adult romance filled with erotic steam.

All the characters, especially the main characters Miles & Portia, are well developed. Their situations are both intriguing and very authentic to their era in history. So it is very easy to see them both as real and having existed long ago.

I am going to reiterate, this is an Adult Erotic Romance.

Children and Adults with 'Sensitive Constitutions' need not apply.
Profile Image for Lady Nilambari Reads HR.
549 reviews202 followers
November 7, 2021
Quick Review
- If you are looking for a steamy historical, you can rarely go wrong with Jess Michaels.
- The basic plotline is "save me from ruin, marry me, save my family and I will do all sorts of wicked things in bed with you". Then they fall in love and live HEA.
- Compromised, caught, married due to scandal and hero who does not believe in love. All these tropes get wrapped up in a smutty delight in this book.
- The plot is a little weird from what I remember.
- But Jess Michaels writes well, her characters are interesting, the steam is hot, the pacing is good, the emotional depth is touch and go.
- The only reason I rated it lower is that I loved the previous book far too much and it set the bar high, hence this one felt a little lacking.
- Read it, liked it, read the whole series and am continuing reading anything Jess Michaels writes.

Profile Image for Secretly Reading.
944 reviews
November 19, 2013
Originally reviewed for The Book Vixen

In a Nutshell: Solid erotic historical romance that had more sex than emotions but was good enough.

Why I Read this Book: I revisit historical romance once in a while as it was my first romance genre when I’d sneak them from the public library.

What I Liked: I enjoyed the characters of Portia and Miles. Portia has been sidelined her entire life and I liked that she makes a decision to claim her sexuality and visit the masquerade as a voyeur. Unlike many erotic romances, this one allows Portia to have a sexual awareness as she’d self-explored before and was a willing participant in the couple’s sexual relationship. Miles was a likeable character in that he wanted to bring Portia happiness inside and outside the bedroom and was quite selfless in his desires. Readers will quickly see through Miles’ claim that he can’t allow a connection between he and Portia other than sexual but it was still enjoyable getting past that.

What I Also Liked: This novel doesn’t overreach itself. It’s an erotic romance and that’s it. There isn’t a big villain to vanquish (other than Portia finally telling her brother off) and it doesn’t have a big mystery plot; instead the novel just shows the erotic journey of two people who allow their emotions to enter into their relationship as well.

What I Didn’t Like: This is a solid book but it’s not a wow-me book. The emotional denouement happens suddenly and close to novel’s end and the couple primarily relate on a sexual level up to that point. That’s not bad (of course!) but it also isn’t going to make the book stand out from the nearly 500 that I read in a year.

IMO: Solid enough historical that I may pick up the next in the series.
*review copy provided by author*
Profile Image for Bwmurf.
254 reviews10 followers
October 24, 2016
This was ok but, there was a three day separation when heroine told hero she loved him and he freaked and didn't come home for three days. I needed to know he didn't cheat any of those days. Once he came home all was forgiven and even though heroine had expressed to a friend her fear he was with other women she never asks him and then the book ends with him declaring his love.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for AerinLuvs.
283 reviews16 followers
October 26, 2014
Heroine~ Portia. Wallflower of uncertain age, spinster, caretaker of her depressed/mildly schizophrenic (I assume from the descriptions) and formerly beautiful mother. Bullied by her older brother Hammond, a titled gentleman but always stressed for funds and bitter. Best friend of Ava, who was the heroine of Pleasure Wars # 1 Taken By the Duke.

Hero~ Miles, the Marquis of Weatherfield, 30 yrs old. A rake with a well-earned naughty reputation. Has membership at scandalous clubs. Had a harsh upbringing and inherited the title at age 17. Has a loving relationship with his sister Tenille, who is happily married and who is trying to always set him up with appropriate ladies.

What happens when an unexpected marriage occurs between two unlikely people?

Overall Rating: 4 stars
Plot: 3 stars
Hero rating: 4 stars
Heroine rating: 5 stars
Erotic Tension rating: 4 stars
Erotic Descriptiveness rating: 4 stars, Kink level ~ mild.
Erotic Frequency rating: 5-6? episodes.
Writing Style/Flow/Grammar rating: 4.5 stars (found one "he" that should have been "her")
Denouement: 4 stars

Liked this alot, recommended for historical romance lovers who enjoy a higher sensuality level! Lovely romance.

Profile Image for Tin.
340 reviews110 followers
May 4, 2014
This is a 4.5 star book for me.

* * *

At the notorious Donville Masquerade, Miles, the Marquess of Weatherfield finds an unusual participant in the revels: plainly dressed and simply accessorised, the mysterious woman didn't act like a courtesan or a lady used to such depravity, and what drew Miles to her was her curiosity and openness to such a sexual adventure.

Thinking to help her friend, Portia attends the Donville Masquerade to look for Liam, Ava's brother, but who she finds instead as an old childhood friend. Miles had always been kind to her, asking her to dance when no one else would. Noticing her when no one else did. He'd always been courteous and solicitous to her. It surprises her that, amidst the decadence of the party, Miles would single her out and approach her. If this were any other time, they would never have this kind of conversation or interaction, but, safe in the anonymity of the masquerade, they share a near-kiss during their first encounter. It shouldn't have meant anything to either of them, to Miles, especially -- but it left both of them wanting more.

And it was during their second meeting that they act on their curiosity. And get caught in a compromising position by her brother (his former friend). When Portia's identity is revealed, Miles has no choice but to offer for her, to save both their reputations. Beyond the complications that precipitated their marriage, Miles and Portia must also address Portia's mother's situation -- and, to save her from the asylum, Portia strikes a very scandalous bargain with her husband: in exchange for his help, she offers him her complete and total surrender.

One of the questions in this story is about genuine intentions: Miles's suspicion that Portia deliberately entrapped him that night at the Donville Masquerade. Despite what he knows of Portia, he can't help but think it because he also knows Portia's brother -- a man clearly capable of using and abusing his family for his own gains. There's also the question of why Portia was at the party. She was there to find another man, Liam, the Earl of Windbury. Even Portia admits that she believes she was in love with Liam when Miles asked her about him.

Still, she was so responsive, so open to sin and seduction ... he had to wonder if he was the first man to have pleasured her in some way ..."
- Chapter 12


It's not the best start to a relationship, but Miles had made his bed and he is making the most of it. He recognizes the same woundedness in Portia that he finds in himself, and, while he wasn't able to save himself (or his sister), he tries to help Portia heal and recover her identity and sense of self-worth.

Portia is a wallflower and a spinster. With her ordinary looks, lack of dowry and with her mentally ill mother, she knows she could never find what her friend Ava has found in her new marriage. Portia is an amazing friend to Ava, because, despite her desperate situation, she never begrudges her help or presence or support to her. She listen to Ava as she worries about her husband and her brother. Portia is completely selfless, which I see as both a positive and negative for her. She's so giving, which is admirable. But, she also lacks a sense of self -- believing herself to be less than anyone else. I thought it was sad that, when she needed to talk to Miles about her mother, she believed she had nothing to bargain with but her body.

The journey Miles and Portia take is very sexual, and I felt it was an essential one -- we are at our most open, most vulnerable, but also our most powerful when we acknowledge and celebrate our sensuality and sexuality and Jess Michaels does an amazing job of showing this in Miles and Portia's encounters. I loved Miles and Portia. I loved their honesty and boldness -- and they are very, very good in bed together. For the most part, it seems that the relationship is lopsided with Miles having all the money and means and control, but I think Portia also contributes equally to their marriage. She's unpretentious and very forthright with Miles -- and she really tries to understand him. It is a story of awakening for both the hero and heroine: Miles thought he was too damaged, too broken to deserve love and Portia shows him otherwise, banishing all the doubts and questions he had about her at the start. And Portia finds her confidence because of him.

"...I've spent my entire life hiding, trying to please men who didn't care about me. I said yes when I meant no, I kept quiet when I should have spoken. I hid against walls and prayed no one would look at me. ..."
- Chapter 21


When I first met Portia in Taken by the Duke , I really thought she would end up with Liam, Ava's brother -- but it seems Jess Michael's had a different man planned for Portia. A man better suited to her, I think. All the characters in Jess Michaels's Pleasure Wars series are flawed in some ways and have broken, craggy edges. Miles fits Portia better -- there's a kindness in Miles that was sorely lacking in Portia's life.

"If you spend your life counting what you are owed and what you owe, you will never be happy, Portia," he said softly. "We are in this situation now and we can make the best of it or not. It's up to you what that answer is. ..."
- Chapter 8


The one part of the story that didn't sit well with me is Portia's mother. It's never explained what she has, but it seems to be dementia. When Portia and her mother were living in their simple house, her mother had frequent episodes, but, when they moved into Miles's house, it seemed that her mother was cured (she had zero episodes after the move) -- I wish the author had taken time to clarify this, considering that the mother's condition was the whole reason for the bargain. I was happy to see her lucid, and she actually has a lot of wonderful (and incredibly sage) thoughts to impart to her daughter:

Thomasina reached for her, and Portia took her mother's hand without hesitation. "I know you give everything for me, for your friends, for everyone but yourself. I only wish there was a reward I could offer you. I only wish I could see you having fun, experiencing some joy in your life."
- Chapter 3

Profile Image for Anna (Bobs Her Hair).
1,007 reviews207 followers
September 9, 2019
2.5 Could have been a 3 or higher but..

I read this book because Miles, a secondary character from An Introduction to Pleasure, promised to be a swoon-worthy hero. At the beginning of “Pleasuring the Lady” he displayed all the trainers I liked. Then, an unnecessary level of baggage was added. It did not fit with his character and created unnecessary angst.

There was a good balance of erotic and romance. (It was a romance with an erotic couple.) The heroine and heroine’s relationship started strong and was engaging. They held so much promise! You coulda been a contender! Meh. What a waste of a perfectly good hero.

Library eloan
Profile Image for Mou:  Fae of Heartfelt ARC.
587 reviews127 followers
not-interested
April 23, 2023
The book is part of a series. I already read the book first and currently reading the third, not interested in the book because of its warning.

Warning: This book contains wicked encounters, erotic voyeurism, lies, a brief threesome, and unexpected kindnesses.
Profile Image for Simona.
180 reviews71 followers
March 10, 2021
Perfect dose of historical smut from Ms Michaels.
Profile Image for Roses Book Blog.
226 reviews73 followers
November 19, 2013
Portia hasn't lived an easy life. With a mother whose madness is well known, a father who liked to gamble, and a brother just like her father, Portia has become a wallflower. She knows no respectable man will marry her so she's resigned her life to living with her mother and servant Potts in a cottage far away from the rest of society. Afraid to leave her mother for fear of what her brother will do, Portia is forced to live in horrible conditions and with limited food.


Worse than a lonely life, she feels the grief of her best friend Ava Windbury who has been unable to reconnect with her brother since she married his enemy Christian Rothcastle. Her search will lead her to Donville Masquerade a place where sex and sin go hand and hand. It's here that the elite go to find sex and to gamble. Ava has said that it's rumored that her brother has been seen there, a place where any woman who goes will have her reputation ruined.

Portia has never felt the intimate touch of a man, the closest she's ever been to sex is the drawings she found among her brother's belongings. That is until she puts on a mask and goes to the Donville Masquerade and finds Miles Weatherfield. Miles is drawn to the woman with the mask, unaware that below the mask is Portia. Portia has never been attracted to Miles like she is when he kisses her the first time, but Miles has no idea that under the mask is long time friend and occasional dance partner Portia. It's here that she's found in a compromising position with Miles by her brother and it's either marry or she will be ruined.

Scared not only for her future but her mother's she will agree to do whatever Miles wants in bed to save her mother from the asylum that her brother wants her sent to. She will discover passion like she's never before experienced in her life, but how far will she go before it grows to be too much for her? When feelings become involved can they let go of their pasts and learn to care for one another?

I must say that I loved Taken by the Duke, but Pleasuring the Lady took my love for her work to a whole new level. These two stories were so different and these characters so complex. I loved every second of this book as Portia learned what true passion is and as she learns to let another care for her in a way she's never been cared for her entire life. I look forward to the next book in the series because I know if there's one thing I can guarantee it's that the next book in this series will be just as great if not even better than the first two books. Oh and if you haven't had a chance to read Taken by the Duke yet, you'll want to because it's well worth the read, 5 stars.

***ARC provided by author in exchange for a honest review***
Profile Image for Amy Alvis.
2,042 reviews84 followers
August 13, 2016
Originally reviewed for: Historical Romance Lover blog

This is book 2 in the Pleasure Wars series. We met the heroine, Portia, in Taken by the Duke and the hero, Miles, in An Introduction to Pleasure.

Lady Portia has spent her lifetime being a wallflower. During a conversation with her best friend, Ava, Portia sees an opportunity to make her friend happy and to try something daring. Ava's "missing" brother has been seen at the Donville Masquerade in the hells. Portia will do anything to put a smile back on her friend's face, even venture into the hells.

Marquis Miles Weatherfield is instantly draw to the mysterious masked lady and draws her into conversation. Portia has known Miles almost her whole life and barely talks to him in fear of being recognized. She quickly draws herself away and disappears into the night.

Several nights have passed and Miles is hoping to see his masked lady again. Portia is determined to find the brother of her best friend and ventures to the masquerade again where she gets help from Miles after some unwanted attention from another party goer

Miles and Portia can't seem to fight their attraction for each other and end up being found in a compromising position by Portia's brother. The only way to save their reputations is to marry.

Portia is terrified that her brother will put their mother in an asylum when she gets married so she makes a deal with Miles. She will do anything that he wants to in bed in exchange for keeping her mother safe. Will their marriage become more than just a marriage in name?

I really enjoyed this story and it was nice to see Ava and Christian from Taken by the Duke again. We see Portia blossom from a wallflower to someone with confidence that finally stands up for herself. We also see the growth of Miles. He realizes that the way he grows up does not define the type of man that he becomes. As with all Jess Michaels books, this book is NOT for the faint of heart! There is lots of explicit love scenes.

Thanks go to Jess Michaels and Samhain Publishing for a copy of the book in exchange of an honest review.
Profile Image for Edwina " I LoveBooks" "Deb".
1,440 reviews17 followers
November 25, 2013
This review is from: Pleasuring the Lady (The Pleasure Wars) (Kindle Edition)
Miles and Portia meet at a Masquerade party for the second time and are found in a compromising position by Portia evil abusive brother. Marquis Miles Weatherfield marries Portia. They had been childhood friends and it was a surprise for Miles to find out the the massed women was Portia. He thought she was just some light skirt.

Let me say I LOVED Miles and Portia. This was a very romantic and very erotic story of two people who had been badly abused by their fathers. The story tells of their trying to adapt to married life and overcoming feelings of unworthiness. Miles is so loving and romantic with the virginal innocent Portia. Every girl should have a Miles LOL!! Portia was his equal in kindness, respect and loyalty. Portia was written perfectly for the HR period she lived in. She Was Not one of those annoying heroine that you read so much about today. Portia is a character you will love!!. I think her and Miles worked together to have a perfect marriage. This story is marriage building at its best. The two of them worked through their problems and lack of self confidence and grew together as a couple, instead of running from their problems or pretending they didn't exist.

Pleasuring a Lady is a very romantic and erotic makes you fell good romance story. All the characters are written very well. I just want to Say Well Done Ms. Michaels Very Well Done!! This is a must read for all HR fans.
Profile Image for My Book Addiction and More MBA.
1,958 reviews71 followers
September 14, 2013
PLEASURING THE LADY by Jess Michaels is an exciting Regency Historical Romance set in 1814 London. #2 in "The Pleasure Wars",but can be read as a stand alone. See,"Taken by the Duke". What an interesting tale of a man who believes he can not fall in love or love anyone and the woman who proves him wrong. Join, Lady Portia and Marquis Miles Weatherfield on a journey of discovery of both their passion and their feelings for each other. They discovery some things are far more deeper than flesh. Filled with lies,secrets,voyeurism,passion,scandal,sizzling sensuality,a brief threesome encounter,kindness,very wicked encounters,and the power of love. A very erotic romance! Well written! The sensual encounters is well written with taste,but "Pleasuring The Lady" is not all about the sensual encounters,it is so much more than an erotic tale! Ms. Michaels is a masterful storyteller to passion and love. I love this series, and am looking forward to the next installment. Well done!! A must read if you enjoy historical romances,with a few twists and turns, as well as sensual encounters of the loving kind. Received for an honest review from the author.

RATING: 4.5

HEAT RATING: WILD RIDE

REVIEWED BY: AprilR, Review courtesy of My Book Addiction and More
412 reviews2 followers
March 25, 2022
DNF@30%

I didn’t particularly like the heroine. The whole premise of her going to place of debauchery (where her reputation is certain to get ruined) just to find a friend’s brother seems idiotic; especially when said friend herself deems it unsafe to go; and especially when the heroine is not close to this friend’s brother. She has no skin in this game yet chose to carelessly risk her reputation. This whole premise made me think the heroine has no self-preservation or common sense. No wonder she gets caught in a compromising position…you know.. play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Anyway, after that, I couldn’t really care about what happens next to the heroine.
Giving 1 star since Goodreads doesn’t allow 0 stars.
Profile Image for Elisa Vangelisti.
Author 6 books33 followers
August 31, 2018
Quest’autrice mi piace, non è il primo che leggo, anche se non è il mio preferito. Ha uno stile di scrittura molto pulito, chiaro e senza troppi fronzoli. Arriva dritta al punto e non c’è bisogno di immaginarsi chissà cosa. La trama è semplice: una coppia costretta a un matrimonio riparatore che deve imparare a fare i conti con i sentimenti che l’unione comporta. Belli i sia i dialoghi che le scene di passione, si può anche rileggere, a distanza.
Profile Image for Mary - Buried Under Romance .
369 reviews183 followers
September 21, 2013
Hero is foolish (really foolish) but understandable when Freudian psychology is applied. Heroine undergoes a great transformation (meek -> strong) in the story and stands up for herself. Good story overall.

Review to come
Profile Image for Firstpella.
785 reviews
November 23, 2013
When you need some light, smexy, historical romantica another good one from Michaels. Nothing bad happens, there's a sudden three way thrown in at the end, but it's a scared rabbit running away from love H trial for the h and nothing happens other than the h calling the H out. You go girl.
1,219 reviews15 followers
November 24, 2013
I really enjoyed it and hope we get Liam's story soon.
Profile Image for LOU71.
585 reviews
July 22, 2017
Pleasuring the Lady is the second book in The Pleasure Wars series and a slightly better told story than the first one, I believe. The author's warning: This book contains wicked encounters, erotic voyeurism, lies, a brief threesome, and unexpected kindnesses.

The balance of character self-analysis as compared to reader slow discovery still seems over-wrought with too many words at the pivotal moments in the story but at least the character explanations come at the right moments in this book. Some of the intimate scenes are set in London at hidden places that mainstream Society does not talk about and some doubt even exist.

Taken By the Duke: 2+ stars
Pleasuring the Lady: 3 stars

Lady Portia lives the life of a wallflower until she makes a decision that leads her to the notorious Donville Masquerade as a voyeur. Found in a compromising situation with a man by her bully brother, Portia is forced to wed. She seems an unlikely Heroine and I felt her behaviours at times contrived in the first half of the book (inside the carriage after seeing the Masquerade). With the added burden of an unwell mother, Portia's character proves to change from meek, to standing up for herself, although at times during that transformation I got annoyed at her weak capitulations. I liked her better in the second half of the book.

Marquis Miles Weatherfield is a rake with membership at scandalous clubs. He is a tortured Hero that declares himself incapable of love. He had a very unstable upbringing yet has a loving relationship with his sister who lives in hope of Miles finding love. Caught in a compromising situation with a masked lady, Miles is forced to wed. Underneath he has a heart of gold and being involved in Portia's circumstances brings out the best in him. I particularly enjoyed the relationship Miles forged with Portia's mother.

The sexy times are intense and they illustrate the erotic journey of two people who eventually allow emotions to enter into their relationship as well.

Still no paragraph breaks between scenes in this iPad book format which was confusing at times. The page needs a space break or a swirly leaf to establish a new scene.

I recommend this book to readers who allow explicit love scenes in their historical romances.
Profile Image for Theletter12.
763 reviews7 followers
March 25, 2023
Portia and miles.

She is a wallflower and has known him forever as her brothers friend. She is tired of her life and being s wallflower and decides to visit the hells. Something about her attracts him as she is masked - they get in a compromising position and her brother finds them. They must marry. She bargains her body if he’ll save her I’ll mother from her brothers clutches.

She falls in love and he does as well but he doesn’t want love so he hires two guys to be her lovers- she turns them down and tells Miles he is all she wants and loves. He leaves - but realizes his love and comes back and tells her he can’t live without her.

I loved how Miles is now fully attracted to her even though she is seen as a plain Jane - he finds everything about her lovely and irresistible which is soooooo sweet. He only wants her.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
2,338 reviews11 followers
March 24, 2023
A Special Story!
This book was a truly special birthday gift as it was published in 2014 on my birthday, so a special thank you goes out to my very thoughtful friend.
Here is my voluntary review of the story: I adored the main characters, Portia and Miles, both of whom have troubled pasts and it was wonderful watching them rise above all that to find their happy ever after.
This story is filled with spiciness and a certain amount of angst but above all, it has heart and I loved that!
47 reviews
February 13, 2021
Great Story!

I loved the characters themselves and the way they interacted with each other. Miles and Portia seemed to just jump off of the page and into their complicated relationship. I loved the sizzling sex scenes and the history of each of their families which created their flaws. Totally enjoyable!!
17 reviews
June 15, 2021
Never ask.for love

This is not what I expected but it was better . The book was a Complete surprise Totally new.I Absolutely loved it I couldn't put it down.It was much better than the 1st book in the series.I was sorry to see it end.I will say 1 thing for this author When she's finished she doesn't believe her the end



Profile Image for Aryn Jy.
30 reviews
November 16, 2017
Very erotic

Slow start, very intense by mid story, but an abrupt end, I did not expect, it kinda left me disappointed.
58 reviews
June 26, 2021
Steamy

Holy cow was there some super steamy scenes. I actually blushed! Such a good read. Couldn't stop reading. Can't wait to read more
Profile Image for Kristina.
2,723 reviews81 followers
Read
October 27, 2021
Man, the endings to these suckers are ABRUPT AF
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