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A Family Well Ordered
This rare and classic book from 1699 details the relationship between parents and children and the authors view on the duties between them. Cotton Mather was an influential Puritan Minister from Boston Massachusetts who lived from 1663 to 1728. In 'A Family Well Ordered', Cotton Mather attempts to promote peace and harmony between parents and children by referring to biblical instructions. He goes into great detail in explaining the benefits of salvation and harmony and warns of an inevitable wrath when the parents or the children or both neglect their spiritual obligations to each other.
102 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1699
About the author
Cotton Mather
525 books38 followersCotton Mather A.B. 1678 (Harvard College), A.M. 1681; honorary doctorate 1710 (University of Glasgow), was a socially and politically influential New England Puritan minister, prolific author, and pamphleteer. Cotton Mather was the son of influential minister Increase Mather. He is often remembered for his connection to the Salem witch trials.
Mather was named after his grandfathers, both paternal (Richard Mather) and maternal (John Cotton). He attended Boston Latin School, and graduated from Harvard in 1678, at only 16 years of age. After completing his post-graduate work, he joined his father as assistant Pastor of Boston's original North Church (not to be confused with the Anglican/Episcopal Old North Church). It was not until his father's death, in 1723, that Mather assumed full responsibilities as Pastor at the Church.
Author of more than 450 books and pamphlets, Cotton Mather's ubiquitous literary works made him one of the most influential religious leaders in America. Mather set the nation's "moral tone," and sounded the call for second and third generation Puritans, whose parents had left England for the New England colonies of North America to return to the theological roots of Puritanism.
Mather was named after his grandfathers, both paternal (Richard Mather) and maternal (John Cotton). He attended Boston Latin School, and graduated from Harvard in 1678, at only 16 years of age. After completing his post-graduate work, he joined his father as assistant Pastor of Boston's original North Church (not to be confused with the Anglican/Episcopal Old North Church). It was not until his father's death, in 1723, that Mather assumed full responsibilities as Pastor at the Church.
Author of more than 450 books and pamphlets, Cotton Mather's ubiquitous literary works made him one of the most influential religious leaders in America. Mather set the nation's "moral tone," and sounded the call for second and third generation Puritans, whose parents had left England for the New England colonies of North America to return to the theological roots of Puritanism.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
April 30, 2023
Short and sharp. Parents have to practice what they preach, obviously, for “If the old crab goes backward, it is to no purpose for the young one to be directed to go forward.”
April 19, 2026
First book I've read by Cotton Mather. Didn't disappoint. Very sharp and to the point, loaded with scripture. Proper wakeup call as a father. Some parts were ruthless. The section on prayer hit hard, made me realise my kids need to see my faith, not just hear it.
October 25, 2014
Excellent little book, full of pastoral admonitions to both parents and children. Definitely one I will read again!
I did not agree with his admonitions on paedo baptism, but most of all his exhortations for schools and teachers: "But can they be well educated if their parents never send them to school?... If you would not betray your posterity into the very circumstances of savages, let schools have more encouragement." A whole section of the ending pages is dedicated to the encouragement of schools. How sad that the discipleship of parents over their own children was not more highly prized! I am afraid it was the chink in the armor of many of our forefathers, who sending their children to schools and colleges, and prizing a classical education above the fear of God, did not see the dire effects those choices would have on posterity, or more highly regard their own ability to educate their children. Abigail Adams, due to illness in her childhood was home educated, and became one of the most well-respected and highly educated women of her day.
Despite these two things, it was a hearty little book that I truly loved!
I did not agree with his admonitions on paedo baptism, but most of all his exhortations for schools and teachers: "But can they be well educated if their parents never send them to school?... If you would not betray your posterity into the very circumstances of savages, let schools have more encouragement." A whole section of the ending pages is dedicated to the encouragement of schools. How sad that the discipleship of parents over their own children was not more highly prized! I am afraid it was the chink in the armor of many of our forefathers, who sending their children to schools and colleges, and prizing a classical education above the fear of God, did not see the dire effects those choices would have on posterity, or more highly regard their own ability to educate their children. Abigail Adams, due to illness in her childhood was home educated, and became one of the most well-respected and highly educated women of her day.
Despite these two things, it was a hearty little book that I truly loved!
January 10, 2022
The best portions of this book, in my opinion, were the sections on the importance of children honoring parents and the necessity of education to both the church and state.
Other than these, I think that Mather over-stated his case in many places, even mishandling passages to make his case. His attempt to deal with slave masters, government authorities, educators, and others under the umbrella of parents seemed unnecessary and unhelpful.
A better book on a similar topic, of a similar length is J. C. Ryle’s “Duties of Parents.”
Other than these, I think that Mather over-stated his case in many places, even mishandling passages to make his case. His attempt to deal with slave masters, government authorities, educators, and others under the umbrella of parents seemed unnecessary and unhelpful.
A better book on a similar topic, of a similar length is J. C. Ryle’s “Duties of Parents.”
October 29, 2015
Actually a set of small sermons, dealing first with duties of parents towards children; then the other way round; then of subordinates to masters. Very old, flavourfull language; fire & brimstone. Above all, sound advice that does not shirk from considering eternity.
June 17, 2026
Everyone has their flaws. One of mine is that I’m sort of obsessed with Cotton Mather. Really the whole Mather family. You can side eye me all you want; it would be well-deserved. Under all that puritanical repression was probably the freakiest of dudes or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. That said, while he strongly advocated for smallpox inoculation, his writings during the Salem Witch Trails were deeply misogynistic and helped condemn many women to death. He was also obsessed with pirates.
Long before televangelists and megachurches explained that God protects families through a carefully arranged chain of command, Mather was already promoting the same basic idea: fathers answer to God, wives answer to husbands, children answer to parents, and everyone stays safely beneath the appropriate spiritual umbrella. The assumption, of course, is that authority naturally produces wisdom, justice, and godliness, a proposition that is laughable today, given our current political landscape.
To be fair, Mather was not writing anything particularly controversial for a Puritan audience. His work reflects the prevailing belief that social order depended on family order and that family order depended on obedience. In a world where religious conformity and community stability were considered essential, questioning authority was viewed less as critical thinking and more as a fast track to chaos and hell. Mather would have been repulsed at the idea of living one’s life deliciously. Mather’s ideal household functions almost like a miniature government in which everyone has clearly defined responsibilities and most likely, very little butter.
From a modern perspective,the text reads as unintentionally ironic. Mather presents strict hierarchy as the solution to human weakness, yet the system relies heavily on the assumption that those at the top of the hierarchy will consistently exercise authority with wisdom and virtue. The possibility that parents, pastors, or other leaders might misuse that authority receives far less attention than the dangers of disobedience from those beneath them. Does that umbrella protect everyone equally or mainly keep the people underneath from noticing the weather. I think we all know the answer to that question.
Despite this, The Well-Ordered Family deserves recognition as an important historical document. It captures the logic of Puritan society with remarkable clarity and reveals how deeply intertwined religion, family life, and social control were in colonial New England. Is it fun to read? Absolutely not, but it does shed light on America’s puritanical origins.
Long before televangelists and megachurches explained that God protects families through a carefully arranged chain of command, Mather was already promoting the same basic idea: fathers answer to God, wives answer to husbands, children answer to parents, and everyone stays safely beneath the appropriate spiritual umbrella. The assumption, of course, is that authority naturally produces wisdom, justice, and godliness, a proposition that is laughable today, given our current political landscape.
To be fair, Mather was not writing anything particularly controversial for a Puritan audience. His work reflects the prevailing belief that social order depended on family order and that family order depended on obedience. In a world where religious conformity and community stability were considered essential, questioning authority was viewed less as critical thinking and more as a fast track to chaos and hell. Mather would have been repulsed at the idea of living one’s life deliciously. Mather’s ideal household functions almost like a miniature government in which everyone has clearly defined responsibilities and most likely, very little butter.
From a modern perspective,the text reads as unintentionally ironic. Mather presents strict hierarchy as the solution to human weakness, yet the system relies heavily on the assumption that those at the top of the hierarchy will consistently exercise authority with wisdom and virtue. The possibility that parents, pastors, or other leaders might misuse that authority receives far less attention than the dangers of disobedience from those beneath them. Does that umbrella protect everyone equally or mainly keep the people underneath from noticing the weather. I think we all know the answer to that question.
Despite this, The Well-Ordered Family deserves recognition as an important historical document. It captures the logic of Puritan society with remarkable clarity and reveals how deeply intertwined religion, family life, and social control were in colonial New England. Is it fun to read? Absolutely not, but it does shed light on America’s puritanical origins.
May 17, 2020
While written in updated language, some if the book was still difficult to understand.
May 22, 2018
A fantastic and terrifying short charge to parents, children, and nation to walk in godliness to avert God's wrath and receive His blessings. Truly a far cry from much preaching on the subject of parenting in the modern church. It is a must read for all parents and children. If I may, in the spirit of Mather's words, "Sirs, thou must read this book!"
WHY FOUR STARS?
There's two reasons I give it four and not five stars.
1) The writer argues from paedobaptism for godliness in children as if they were members of the New Covenant in Christ's blood. Such argument may prove hurtful to children, as they may consider themselves members of the covenant when they are not.
2) Gnosticism: There's only one brief section where I noticed something that sounds very Gnostic, "The souls of your children must survive their bodies, and are transcendently better and higher and nobler things than their bodies." While I understand the point he is making in the larger context, it is unbiblical and unhelpful to speak of the body as being shed away eternally one day rather than to speak of the body of the Christian as glorified and perfected in the day of Christ along with his soul.
WHY FOUR STARS?
There's two reasons I give it four and not five stars.
1) The writer argues from paedobaptism for godliness in children as if they were members of the New Covenant in Christ's blood. Such argument may prove hurtful to children, as they may consider themselves members of the covenant when they are not.
2) Gnosticism: There's only one brief section where I noticed something that sounds very Gnostic, "The souls of your children must survive their bodies, and are transcendently better and higher and nobler things than their bodies." While I understand the point he is making in the larger context, it is unbiblical and unhelpful to speak of the body as being shed away eternally one day rather than to speak of the body of the Christian as glorified and perfected in the day of Christ along with his soul.
June 27, 2025
Some excellent portions—especially exhortations to parents and broader talk on education. Some "meh" portions—extended exhortations to children that seem unfounded (especially if you are not a paedobaptist) and role of pastors as "parents". Some bad portions—the conversation about slaves makes sense when you understand "family" as under a paterfamilias (like the household codes), but the actual exegesis and application did not seem solid to me.
Great quote from Luther in Mather, "If ever there be any Considerable Blow given to the Devil's Kingdom, it must be, by Youth Excellently Educated. It is a serious Thing, a weighty Thing, and a thing that hath much of the Interest of Christ, and of Christianity in it, that Youth be well-trained up."
Great quote from Luther in Mather, "If ever there be any Considerable Blow given to the Devil's Kingdom, it must be, by Youth Excellently Educated. It is a serious Thing, a weighty Thing, and a thing that hath much of the Interest of Christ, and of Christianity in it, that Youth be well-trained up."
July 25, 2021
The 17th c. language makes this read a bit of a struggle, but it's easy enough to overcome. Makes for a quick afternoon read if highly motivated. I read the first half last night and finished it this afternoon.
There is good practical wisdom for children as it regards their children. For example, Mather makes the distinction between an inward and outward respect of parents and shows how a child should have respectful speech.
There is good practical wisdom for children as it regards their children. For example, Mather makes the distinction between an inward and outward respect of parents and shows how a child should have respectful speech.
March 18, 2021
The main theme of this book can be summed up by the words of Luther that Mather quotes towards the end: “If ever there be any considerable blow given to the devil’s kingdom, it must be, by youth excellently educated.”
Ephesians 6:1-4
Ephesians 6:1-4
September 22, 2022
Had such conviction reading this book.
January 26, 2026
I give this 3.5 stars.
April 11, 2026
The book itself is very insightful. The specific printing could have been better. He does well at defining duties of parents to children and children to parents. Very helpful little book.
January 30, 2025
Good short read.
January 2, 2026
The content is good, but the type is orrery bad. They capitalize most nouns, but not all, making it a real challenge at times.
Nevertheless, if it were a bit modernized in language and type, it would be a blessing to all families.
Nevertheless, if it were a bit modernized in language and type, it would be a blessing to all families.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews