"I'm her damnation. She's my salvation."
SURRENDERING held my heart in a vice grip from page one and still has not released me from its clutches!!!!
The astonishing romantic odyssey that Michelle Horst takes readers on is so spectacular in scope you are a willing captive to her beautiful words, the raw, shattering emotions…and the pendulum that constantly swings back and forth between light and darkness, hope and despair, love, lust and soul burning rage is truly BREATH-STEALING.
This is the unforgettable tale of two young lovers,
Mila Jameson
and
Liam Wright
whose fates and destinies are inexorably intertwined. Unbeknownst to one another, they each had spent a big chunk of their childhoods confined inside two separate religious communes. Although both shunned the hypocritical ways, dastardly practices and depraved doctrines of the Order and were able to escape their respective communes, their hearts and souls did not emerge unscathed.
When they meet and eventually fall in love on the college campus, they are powerfully drawn together, oblivious to the fact that they both suffered mightily during their time in oppression. Although they have spent the past six years forging a new normal for themselves, the ghosts from the past continue to haunt them daily.
Mila, who was born to The Order Of The Promised Land cult, still suffers from debilitating panic attacks, is terrified of the dark, and cannot banish the painful memories of her time inside the commune. Her faith had been dwindling prior to her escape and the thought of being trapped forever in that life, forced to take on the role of the sweet, subservient, dutiful wife, and all the horrors that entailed was too much to bear.
"Every day of my life, I’m reminded that I’m nothing more than a Daughter of Sin. I’m bad, shameful –nothing but a whore, and I’ll only get to The Promised Land by the mercy and forgiveness of Prophet David."
With the help of a caring journalist, she managed to pave a new life for herself after fleeing the compound at the age of 14, mere days before she was to be married to the cruel, heartless Brother William. Now Mila has spent the last six years doing her best to fly under the radar, praying the cult can’t find her and drag her back to that nightmarish world. She still bears the horrific physical and emotional scars from the past and is riddled with guilt over the sister she was forced to leave behind. But vows to go back and liberate her someday. In the meantime, she tries to snatch every bit of happiness she can but she knows she is living on borrowed time and her facade of normalcy is starting to crumble.
“It feels as if the gates of hell are right inside of me. No matter how far I run, it’s never far enough.”
Meanwhile, Hot-As-Sin Liam Wright, a golden boy on campus who has his pick of female admirers, only has eyes for Mila Jameson, the girl he has worshipped from afar for ages. Together with his buddies Mickey, Blake and Hunter they rule the college campus, but behind his handsome, carefree persona and megawatt smile he too is a tormented soul. He wasn’t able to save his little sister, Rosie, who fell prey to the atrocities of the cult and has to live with that festering regret and anger.
Although he hates the Miller Clan cult and everything it stands for with a raging passion, he made a conscious decision to move on with his life and his new normal includes finally getting his shot at dating Mila, the beautiful, quirky, adorably shy girl he has been hopelessly in love with for the past two years. A girl he wants more than his next breath.
“It was fate that Mila came to the same college as me. I believe you can’t choose who you fall in love with, that fate does that for you. Since I saw her that first day, I was lost. She has always been the girl for me."
Mila has been secretly pining for him all this time too. And when sparks fly at a party he’s throwing at his abode, they finally stop fighting the inevitable and give into their fiery lust. They only have a few weeks to spend together before Liam leaves for the University of Chicago to continue his studies and they plan to savor every precious moment together. But there's just something about this girl that unsettles him and he sees a flash of hopelessness and fear in her soft grey eyes that gnaws away at his own damaged soul. When the shattering truth about the ties that bind them comes to light, can their fragile love survive the darkness that threatens to envelop them whole?
HOLY WOW!!! Michelle Horst truly OUTDID herself with this phenomenal, heart-gripping story about hope and survival, and finding love amid unspeakable adversity. The author captured all the intense, sweet, swoony emotions of first love, and the heartbreaking struggles and hardships that this couple were forced to endure, due to their tragic backgrounds, was profoundly moving. It stuck a powerful chord in me how this angst-ridden duo, who crave ordinary lives, find an extraordinary love in each other. And together they give one another the courage to face their worst fears.
There was the perfect balance of gritty realism, emotional turmoil, passion, and romantic escapism in this book. One of my favorite aspects of this brilliantly penned novel was how Mila and Liam still retained a joie de vivre despite their lost innocence. I also think the author did a fantastic job of folding in the ancillary characters, which made up the tapestry of their day to day worlds. And swoooon! This was this one ravishingly sexy book! The chemistry between Mika and Liam was electric and soul deep, and their interludes were SIZZLING HOT and OH-SO-SCINTILLATING!
Liam was tantalizingly ALPHA, endearingly sweet and tender, and had a broody, fiercely possessive side which I found to be a huge turn on!
“Just a touch of lust, that’s all it takes to prove to you that you belong to me.”
And I adored how even though Mila was suffering inwardly she never lost her sparkle. These two were a perfect match and loved each other with a ferocity that gave me goosebumps and warm tingles!
Their romance was certainly not a bed of roses. Mila and Liam had some MAJOR obstacles to overcome, causing one another--and ME!--plenty of heartache and frustration along the way, but at its core this is an uplifting love story, with the powerful, life-affirming message that yes, you CAN rise above and that ultimately it’s all about
"how brave you choose to be!"
Although this is an unconventional love story that isn't exactly tied up with a nice shiny red bow, I found the resolution immensely satisfying. I truly appreciate how Ms. Horst always takes emotional risks with her characters and storylines and lures the reader on an emotionally taxing, thrilling journey with exhilarating highs, and heart dropping lows. There was palpable tension throughout, all leading up to the climactic showdown, which was so riveting and heartbreaking and PERFECTLY IMPERFECT, literal chills racked my body and I found myself choking back cathartic tears.
Tears of joy. Of heartache. Of acceptance. Of healing. Of love.
I simply cannot recommend this book strongly enough! SURRENDERING is an unforgettable tale, chock full of jawdropping feels, that will always hold a special place in my heart!
5 Hauntingly beautiful Stars!