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The Femdom Experience
An experience is the process of personally participating in an activity, event or lifestyle. Fantasy does not always translate over to reality because reality must contend with the bodily limitations of the physical world, whereas fantasy enjoys the unlimited boundaries of the imagination. Nevertheless, fantasy is often the product of reality. For one person's fantasy is another person's reality. Notable FemDom author Elise Sutton examines the Female Domination lifestyle by taking the reader into the personal relationships and sexual practices of everyday people who live astonishing secret lives. Elise adds her insight and commentary as she examines what constitutes a successful FemDom relationship.
318 pages, Paperback
First published December 17, 2006
36 people are currently reading
621 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
November 6, 2010
The paperback version of this title was part of a 2 book selection, which I made on Amazon for the free shipping (the other book, much along these lines was "Permanent Obscurity" by Richard Perez). I have to say it took me a while to get through this, but I was curious so I persisted. Are these real people referenced in this book? I don't know. Someone mentioned to me that Elise Sutton's books are actually a compilation of "real life" letters from her website, but I couldn't find these letters there. Regardless, the whole idea of "female supremacy" makes me raise an eyebrow, just as a discussion of male supremacy would. But I suppose much of what's in this... More >book, as in her website, is fantasy. Do I find the idea of "cuckolding" sexy? Not exactly. Do I want to make the man in my life my slave? Why would I? This obsession with "power" and status is really just a "guy culture" thing. The pressure to be "dominant" is just another oppressive role, it seems; and who would really be the dominant and who the submissive?
In the end, I want to be fair. I'm not saying this is a bad book, just maybe not "factual." It explores the world (and fantasies) of male submissives, mostly. And as it centers mostly on that, I guess it achieves what it sets out to do. It gets a passing grade.
In the end, I want to be fair. I'm not saying this is a bad book, just maybe not "factual." It explores the world (and fantasies) of male submissives, mostly. And as it centers mostly on that, I guess it achieves what it sets out to do. It gets a passing grade.
November 10, 2017
Elise Sutton's blog is incredible. I love it. Her and www.femdoming.com are my two favorite blogs regarding the Femdom community
May 1, 2011
A pretty good book if you want an overview of some of the stuff that happens in the context of female domination--she covers 24/7 relationships, cuckolding relationships, older woman/younger man relationships, various clubs and parties, etc. The stories, both from the dominant and submissive viewpoints, can be pretty erotic in places. However, there is no how-to in this book and I think it could probably be a bit daunting to a newcomer, at least in places.
In short, it is a good read, but I am still left wondering who the book was written for and what she hoped to achieve with it.
In short, it is a good read, but I am still left wondering who the book was written for and what she hoped to achieve with it.
March 13, 2013
I can really appreciate this - but at the same time I "come from the other side" so it wasn't really me, so struggled through it a bit. 3 stars possibly a bit on the low side - 4 possibly a bit high (for me)... but changed it to 4 as I don't want to be seen to be biased. Lucky I found in second hand book shop as new it was rather large outlay!
Think I better leave it as there is just something about it I find a bit awkward - but don't want to put anyone off through my "Peccadillos!!!"
Think I better leave it as there is just something about it I find a bit awkward - but don't want to put anyone off through my "Peccadillos!!!"
November 14, 2021
Picked this up whilst trawling through my z-library account and thought I'd give it a look see..very informative, discusses, I would think, just about all aspects of femdom including discipline, cuckolding, various clubs for those who like humiliating there partners and more. I certainly learned a lot, whether I could actually do any of it practice..I doubt it but would be fun trying some I think. Great book for those thinking of joining the lifestyle, recommended!!
May 13, 2017
Another contribution from Elise that is worthwhile, with plenty of interesting anecdotal accounts of Femdom. Appealing and useful to both sexes if they are thinking about experimenting with Femdom.
November 4, 2024
The book portrays a strange outlook on the world, portraying inherent truths that don't fit within the complexities and nuances that one doesn't see in their day to day life, or as a Femdom for that matter.
July 14, 2023
FemDom Experience
This is an overview of various ways of femdom activities. The book was written some 20 years ago, but it seems very updated to me. With well written words, neatly structured, I feel the author is really authentic and entitled in the femdom practices.
Sex and Gender
"For the unattached male, the dating experience offers him a chance to be honest about who he is right from the outset. There is a common tendency for a man to keep his feelings and his desires hidden for fear of being rejected, not only by the woman he is dating but also by the patriarchal society. The male ego often drives a man to pump himself up and to make himself appear strong and in charge during the early stages of the dating process. A man will exaggerate his career, his past accomplishments and other areas of his life in order to impress his date. The pride of man thinks that he needs to impress the female with his tales of great feats, for he believes that she is seeking a “winner”, a “provider” and a “strong man”. Therefore, the male goes to great lengths to hide his vulnerabilities and his weaknesses during the dating process."
-Male doesn't equate to man and masculinity, likewise, loving a female doesn't mean loving a passive person. Be your true self, and then you could earn true love, romance and intimacy.
True Fulfillment
"Julian is a happy and fulfilled man because he lives a life of sacrifice to a woman and it is impossible to live such a giving life without also receiving. On the surface, it would seem that Katrina is all take and no give whereas Julian is all give and no take. But to the male who desires to submit to a woman, the act of giving becomes an act of receiving because the act of giving stimulates his nature in such a way that fulfills him. By encouraging her husband to be her servant, Katrina is in fact giving to Julian. They have a marriage that works
because they have embraced marital roles that compliment each other’s personality, sexuality and inner nature."
A Win/Win Relationship
"A dominant woman wants to teach a man about her needs, to tame his destructive male ego and to channel his male aggression into serving her. She wants to educate him about what women want and to guide him into a more peaceful and harmonious existence. She wants the relationship to be a win/win relationship where she shows him that her way will make him a more complete and happier person."
Cuckold
"Naturally, some elements of our relationship have changed. For one, Hubby’s no longer my primary sexual partner.”
"Psychologically, women are hardwired differently than men. A woman has a dual sex drive. The first is centered on finding a mate for life to help support her and her offspring. The second is a desire to obtain a variety of the best genetic material to produce the best children."
Cougar
"However, women who choose to date younger men are often seeking more than just fun and sex. They are seeking power and control over the man in their life."
"Younger men are choosing to be with older women because of the male desire for loving female authority. A lot of men have fantasized about older women since they were adolescents. The male submissive nature is excited about the thought of a woman being more experienced."
Social Ego and Nature
“This current generation is the transition generation between the old patriarchal system and the coming female-led society. With change comes stress and conflict (both internal and external). Men are driven to seek female domination as their submissive natures are breaking forth and are growing. At the same time, the male ego and the mindset of male dominance is still strong within most men. These two conflicting forces are at battle within the male psyche.”
“The key to living an overcoming life is to settle these issues within and then yield to the direction that your heart and conscience guides you.”
False Masculinity
“We have a societal pattern going back thousands of years which teaches that men are superior and should be in charge. We have many popular religious doctrines that teach that God is male and women should submit to men in order to please God. We have false masculinity that men pass down to boys which says that men must be strong, tough, aggressive, and show no emotion.”
From Fantasy to Reality
“The FemDom experience can be so much more than just the quest for fantasy fulfillment. The FemDom experience can be a reality if a man will treat the woman in his life as a Goddess and if she will in return dominate him with love.”
This is a really inspiring book, I give it 5 stars!
I noticed and started reading the book originally for a erotic purpose, and wanted to arouse myself through literature. The book is actually psychology in nature, prompting the concepts of one’s real nature, fake masculinity, ego and expected social roles. I can make it clear now that being a male doesn’t mean you should be dominant, it is the social expectation that misguides you. I think the nature of a person being submissive or dominant is not necessarily defined by gender, thus a male may be submissive, and a female may be dominant. The nature of a man is created by Nature, not himself, if he goes against nature, inner conflicts and sufferings would occur.
“Those that yield to it and go with it are those that are the most satisfied, fulfilled and at peace. But those that fight it and struggle with it are The FemDom Experience those that are the most conflicted.”
And the author empties the importance of communication
“Perhaps more intimacy is needed or perhaps more intensity is needed. Communication must be the cornerstone of the FemDom experience and ultimately the male must push through by laying down his independence and his male pride.”
This is an overview of various ways of femdom activities. The book was written some 20 years ago, but it seems very updated to me. With well written words, neatly structured, I feel the author is really authentic and entitled in the femdom practices.
Sex and Gender
"For the unattached male, the dating experience offers him a chance to be honest about who he is right from the outset. There is a common tendency for a man to keep his feelings and his desires hidden for fear of being rejected, not only by the woman he is dating but also by the patriarchal society. The male ego often drives a man to pump himself up and to make himself appear strong and in charge during the early stages of the dating process. A man will exaggerate his career, his past accomplishments and other areas of his life in order to impress his date. The pride of man thinks that he needs to impress the female with his tales of great feats, for he believes that she is seeking a “winner”, a “provider” and a “strong man”. Therefore, the male goes to great lengths to hide his vulnerabilities and his weaknesses during the dating process."
-Male doesn't equate to man and masculinity, likewise, loving a female doesn't mean loving a passive person. Be your true self, and then you could earn true love, romance and intimacy.
True Fulfillment
"Julian is a happy and fulfilled man because he lives a life of sacrifice to a woman and it is impossible to live such a giving life without also receiving. On the surface, it would seem that Katrina is all take and no give whereas Julian is all give and no take. But to the male who desires to submit to a woman, the act of giving becomes an act of receiving because the act of giving stimulates his nature in such a way that fulfills him. By encouraging her husband to be her servant, Katrina is in fact giving to Julian. They have a marriage that works
because they have embraced marital roles that compliment each other’s personality, sexuality and inner nature."
A Win/Win Relationship
"A dominant woman wants to teach a man about her needs, to tame his destructive male ego and to channel his male aggression into serving her. She wants to educate him about what women want and to guide him into a more peaceful and harmonious existence. She wants the relationship to be a win/win relationship where she shows him that her way will make him a more complete and happier person."
Cuckold
"Naturally, some elements of our relationship have changed. For one, Hubby’s no longer my primary sexual partner.”
"Psychologically, women are hardwired differently than men. A woman has a dual sex drive. The first is centered on finding a mate for life to help support her and her offspring. The second is a desire to obtain a variety of the best genetic material to produce the best children."
Cougar
"However, women who choose to date younger men are often seeking more than just fun and sex. They are seeking power and control over the man in their life."
"Younger men are choosing to be with older women because of the male desire for loving female authority. A lot of men have fantasized about older women since they were adolescents. The male submissive nature is excited about the thought of a woman being more experienced."
Social Ego and Nature
“This current generation is the transition generation between the old patriarchal system and the coming female-led society. With change comes stress and conflict (both internal and external). Men are driven to seek female domination as their submissive natures are breaking forth and are growing. At the same time, the male ego and the mindset of male dominance is still strong within most men. These two conflicting forces are at battle within the male psyche.”
“The key to living an overcoming life is to settle these issues within and then yield to the direction that your heart and conscience guides you.”
False Masculinity
“We have a societal pattern going back thousands of years which teaches that men are superior and should be in charge. We have many popular religious doctrines that teach that God is male and women should submit to men in order to please God. We have false masculinity that men pass down to boys which says that men must be strong, tough, aggressive, and show no emotion.”
From Fantasy to Reality
“The FemDom experience can be so much more than just the quest for fantasy fulfillment. The FemDom experience can be a reality if a man will treat the woman in his life as a Goddess and if she will in return dominate him with love.”
This is a really inspiring book, I give it 5 stars!
I noticed and started reading the book originally for a erotic purpose, and wanted to arouse myself through literature. The book is actually psychology in nature, prompting the concepts of one’s real nature, fake masculinity, ego and expected social roles. I can make it clear now that being a male doesn’t mean you should be dominant, it is the social expectation that misguides you. I think the nature of a person being submissive or dominant is not necessarily defined by gender, thus a male may be submissive, and a female may be dominant. The nature of a man is created by Nature, not himself, if he goes against nature, inner conflicts and sufferings would occur.
“Those that yield to it and go with it are those that are the most satisfied, fulfilled and at peace. But those that fight it and struggle with it are The FemDom Experience those that are the most conflicted.”
And the author empties the importance of communication
“Perhaps more intimacy is needed or perhaps more intensity is needed. Communication must be the cornerstone of the FemDom experience and ultimately the male must push through by laying down his independence and his male pride.”
April 1, 2018
This was the first book I could find on the subject of female domination that rang true and I think it still holds up today. In fact, prospective dominant women interested in the philosophy and psychology of male submission to female authority will find more in Ms. Sutton's first effort than I have found in any of the books that have come since. (And to me, so far, she's still the best at providing a background and framework that will encourage and inform women who are investigating the lifestyle or wanting to learn more.)
The Femdom Experience helped me understand a more complete picture of the lifestyle in general and why I seem to find it such a game changer!
The Femdom Experience helped me understand a more complete picture of the lifestyle in general and why I seem to find it such a game changer!
November 26, 2014
My first book on her. Really enjoyed it.
December 21, 2015
A little bit serious for my liking. This is a good one to give to your girlfriend for background reading.
July 2, 2023
Have read it ...and I followed Elisa Suttons Blog for many years..read all her books..Mistress Sutton is a Great Communicator and a stern Mistress...lol..There are a lot of spiritual aspects in FemDom coz in TPE, Total Power Exchange, you are releasing Energies that are powerful and orgasmic. It s a Book for those willing to look into the idea of Female Domination, great for Newbies, very accessible..You dont need a Safeword to read it...lol
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews