Sitting Practice

by Caroline Adderson

It only takes a moment for your life to be changed forever—as the characters of this darkly comic novel discover early on. The fateful moment for the newlyweds Ross and Iliana comes with the freak automobile accident that leaves Iliana paralyzed, Ross grief-stricken, and both of them struggling to come to terms with a married life nothing like they originally had in mind. As the usually affable Ross struggles with guilt and with finding ways to cope with his newly fractured life, Iliana gets used to her unwelcome existence as a wheelchair-bound wife, to her husband’s growing sense of alienation, and to their awkward new lack of intimacy.

What ultimately happens with Ross and Iliana is as unexpected and surprising as the fateful mishap that sets the events in motion in the first place. Sitting Practice is a clever and insightful study of love’s collision with harsh reality, told by an author with a remarkable instinct for the workings of human nature, a nimble gift for language, and the ability to find humor in the oddest places.

Genres: Fiction, Canada, Literary Fiction, British Literature

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Caroline Adderson grew up in Alberta. After traveling around Canada, she moved to B.C. to go to university and has mostly lived there ever since. She started writing seriously after university, eventually going on to write two internationally published novels (A History of Forgetting and Sitting Practice) and two collections of short stories for adults (Bad Imaginings and Pleased To Meet You). When her son was five, she began writing seriously unserious books for young readers (Very Serious Children; I, Bruno;and Bruno For Real). Her contribution to the Single Voice series is her first really serious book for young readers and her first book for teens.

Caroline’s work has received numerous prize nominations including the Scotiabank Giller Prize longlist, the Governor General’s Literary Award, the Rogers Writers’ Trust Fiction Prize, and the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize. A two-time Ethel Wilson Fiction Prize and three-time CBC Literary Award winner, Caroline was also the recipient of the 2006 Marian Engel Award, given annually to an outstanding female writer in mid-career in recognition of her body of work. She also won the 2009 Diamond Willow Award—voted on by lots of nice kids in Saskatchewan—for her children’s novel Very Serious Children.

Caroline keeps writing for readers of all ages every day. She also does a little teaching at Simon Fraser University and hangs out with her husband, a filmmaker, their 10-year-old son, and their naughty dog, Mickey, a Jack Russell terrier who is very lucky to be cute or she would never get away with all she does. Caroline’s advice to young writers is to read, read, read and write, write, write, and never get a Jack Russell terrier.

Reviews

[Jasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I guess this woman is Canadian based on the fact the book begins in Vancouver and is written in a different tone than I have run into before. Wikipedia says I am right she is from Alberta.

I have learned from my recent pondering and reading that Americans and English people have different dispositions. Americans expect everything to come about and turn out perfectly. English people expect everything to be shit in the end. And from this book I would say Canadians expect everything to be shit but to be happy about it.

That is the basic point of this book everything sucks and then we are happy then everything sucks more then we are still happy, and if the book manages to last that long life with somehow find a way to suck that much more and still we will be happy. Canadians are weird.

This book lacks any sense of time, yet works relatively continuously it is simply impossible to figure out what is happening when in the book.

[Kerry Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Caroline Adderson is so funny. Why don't more people know this?

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ross and Iliana are newlyweds who suddenly have to deal with Iliana, an athlete, being paralyzed by a car accident and needing to use a wheelchair for the rest of her life. The book is fantastic and shows both character's points of views. The only problem with it is that Bonnie, Ross' twin sister, annoys the crap out of me, as do most of Ross' ex girlfriends. Who really wears white to someone else's wedding? That's just rude. (this is a comment on the characters, not on the writing of the characters.)

[Shawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is no sweet and sticky sugar-coating with this novel.
It is real and down to earth and you're not going to hold a soft spot in your heart for either of the flawed protagonists.
They are certainly not heroes, but they are not bad people either. They are everyday people like you and me.
The story went back and forth for me. I found some parts to be very riveting, while other parts did not hold my attention that much.
It's a 3 1/2 star book for me.
Not outstanding. But a very decent read.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perhaps the most accurate book I've read that includes activities of daily living for a person in a wheelchair, and it was also an interesting story!

The protagonist is really Ross, the husband, we don't get quite as in-depth with Iliana (who is the wheelchair user). I loved the small details of their life, Canada, his work, etc.

The end came a hair too quickly for me, but that was more of a desire for the story to keep going than any fault in the writing. Good stuff!

[Laurie Burns · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the writing, but the characters just didn't really click with me.

[Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very soon after they are married, Iliana and Ross are in a car accident that leaves Iliana paralyzed from the waist down. Ross, a little overweight, is a lover and is universally well-liked - his ex-girlfriends hilariously all wear white to his wedding. As the one driving, he feels responsible, guilty. Iliana is a pragmatist. She was very fit and loved to work out, run, play tennis, and was a nurse - now wheelchair bound, the accident changes everything for her. The two had an idea of what their life would be like - living in the city, children, friends, dinner parties, an active love life - and now everything has changed.

**spoiler alert**
The book has a great premise, and the characters are charming. The book is described as "darkly comic" which is sometimes achieved, although maybe a bit more subtly than other dark and comic fiction. However, the overall effect is too disjointed. Scenes from the wedding are interspersed throughout in italics, and it wasn't always clear how those scenes were meant to integrate w/ the rest of the story (in fact, they mostly made Ross look foolish). The book has a section named Beginning, a section named End, and another section named Beginning. The End section roughly half way through picks up about a year and a half from the accident, and everything has changed - they live in a small town, they own and run a cafe, Ross has become a Buddhist vegetarian and has lost 30-40 pounds. Iliana bakes bread. They make crazy vegetarian sandwiches that they name after their friends. And they live more like siblings than husband and wife. They love each other, but differently. Ross has barely spoken to his twin sister. Iliana has not spoken to her parents. The switch from Beginning to End was too abrupt; the momentum of the characters was halted and had to be picked up again. I wondered for some time if the characters would wake up as if it were all a dream. The changes were not explained sufficiently.

[Rebecca Biason · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the characters in this novel were intriguing, particularly Ross who is about the most selfish individual you might ever meet and feel sorry for, the conclusion of the novel seemed to fade and not tie up loose ends the way the reader might have anticipated. There is reconciliation, but Adderson throughout the book makes the reader crave a different kind of ending, perhaps one not so realistic. The reader would prefer an ending that they would not have picked for themselves, and perhaps that is the greater strength of this novel. It reveals all of the twists and turns of the human psyche, and establishes that sometimes we do not always choose to make the giant leap forward, or behave stoically in the face of impending change.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't like it much. It was well written, but I just didn't care about these people all that much. (I kept thinking Ross, QUIT WHINING)

Anyhow, obviously well done characters as I really felt like I KNEW them. Sad situation - happy couple. in a car, tennis ball rolling around on the floor, he asks her to get it, she does (had to unbuckle to do so) and a truck comes along and BLAM! Their lives are irrevocably changed. And Ross blames himself for the accident...

Good reminder to enjoy the now as we never know when it might change...

Lots of nice little touches, and all but just not people I wanted to know. Or maybe it was just too scary to think how quickly it could all change

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A novel about a couple who married, then a short time after were in a car accident, where the woman became paralyzed from the waist down. The woman’s parents were estranged from her because of her disbelief in the Christian faith. The husband had a twin who had problems with relationships, the primary one being she was upset that her brother had married (and she felt abandoned). The husband had a problem with not being attracted to a wife had so many physical problems.

The story was a pleasant, fast read. I enjoyed it, although it wasn’t great. It ended happily and was worth my time to read.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a realistic portrayal of what happens to a couple when one of them has a spinal cord injury. It wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be, and the book doesn't focus on the injury so much as how it transforms the couple. It does so in unpredictable ways. The book is interesting but there are parts I didn't like. The author occasionally flashes back to earlier scenes in Iliana & Ross's relationship, yet skips over some key ones. Ross's twin sister Bonnie, a major character, is immensely unlikable. And there are a few other plot details that are weird/don't jibe well.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book about the realities of tragedy and how a young married couple cope with their ideals of the perfect marriage gone horribly wrong. I loved this book for so many reasons, most of which have to deal with the authors raw outpour of emotions from each of the characters, all flawed but hopeful in their own way. I especially loved the ending.

[Pamela · Rating 2 out of 5]

And so it finally ENDS, with their new beginning.
"Staring at the ceiling, he wondered how to start.
Thinking. He made the note.
'We could just kiss,' Iliana suggested.
He reached for her hand, raising it, and with one finger began a languorous journey from the beautiful knob of her wrist, over her pulse point, down into the soft pocket behind her elbow, over the taut bicep, pulling it into his mouth. He bit.
'Ow!'
The kiss: open-mouthed, salty-tongued.
Ross pulled away. 'How about you do all the work?'
'With pleasure.'
'Wait,' he cautioned. 'Wait.' He closed his eyes and lay very still beside her, feeling the heat coming off her. He took a breath. As soon as she touched him, no matter where, he was going to blow.
'Tell me,' she said, 'how this feels.'"

Near the end of the novel, we get another insight into the wedding, and the hope that abounded. And yet, here on the most important day, Iliana is almost an extra.
"The floodlights came on, drenching the entire field. Ross imagined that, back on the highway, people driving by would see the field illuminated as it had been during the shooting of the Western two years before, and would wonder what was going on. Real life, he thought. Real life was happening. Leading Bonnie to where the dancing had resumed, he went to find his wife, his better half, his life's sole reason.
Most of the guests would stay till dawn. They were drunk and still drinking and, in the morning, would be here yet, collapsed in the grass. The big artificial moon held in the sky on a metal stand provided groom and bride with light enough to slip away. 'Iliana,' Ross whispered, hands on her shoulders, feeling her anticipatory shiver. 'Let's go home and make that baby.'"

Great description of presence and awareness. And of course, it is not lost on the reader, that his awareness and epiphany are great, but no matter how his wife might want to feel this, she can't. She can be present, but not feel the ground beneath. Interesting contrast.
"When the step happened, it was because he stopped thinking. His right foot launched forward by itself. Oddly, it frightened him as much as if he were stepping off a ledge or over a threshold into the unknown. The walking seemed to be happening without him, he merely observing it. They were two different things, the walking and the experience of it, the physical act and the knowing. In that second he got the point of the weekend, or one of them at least. He understood that there is a difference between what we're doing and what we think we're doing, and between real life and the life we think we're living. His foot came down. He felt the firmness of the ground beneath it."

We are so good at defining others based on their physical appearance, their disability, their obviousness. This is interesting because she has changed and therefore people's relationship to her has. Are we defined by how others see us?
"It wasn't the chair. It was what she was going to do with herself. What could she do? She had loved her work, but now there were only grievances to nurse. Example: all her life she had been tall, but now everyone looked down on her. For the rest of her days She would be living with a child's unflattering view directly up everyone's nose. People treated her like a child too, making decisions on her behalf as to what she could or could not do, humiliating her with offers of help when she didn't need help, or withholding assistance as though deliberately forbidding her something. Or they would praise her in that singsong falsetto normally reserved for babies and dogs, just for completing some banal task."

Here is the change brilliantly portrayed as though in slow motion (a movie set?), and this is the moment where everything changes. Change is the important piece of any writing. Things must change in order for a story to be present.
"In one moment Ross saw his wife of three and a half weeks reaching to capture a wayward tennis ball. In that same second a moving truck, taking advantage of the break in traffic (the interval between Ross's Volvo and the car ahead of it) without realizing the gap was closing quickly, entered the intersection. Ross heard in a succession so rapid that the sounds almost overlapped, the shriek of brakes, the punch of metal, the gritty tinkle of shattering glass, the ominous thud of Iliana's unrestrained body meeting the dash. He did not actually witness the collision because he had instinctively shut his eyes. If he'd had the presence of mind to compare it to all those other crashes [movie crashes], he would have judged it remarkable only in how devoid it was of drama.
So pervasive was the influence of the motion picture in Ross's life that, like many people's, his dreams and memories came to him in its basic three-act structure. Even the way he thought was subtly affected; he made his living, after all, in Hollywood's northernmost sweatshop. What happened next Ross perceived as if it were happening to someone else, a stand-in for himself, and he, Ross, had been invited (as he sometimes was) to view from a theatre seat the rushes of this tragedy. It did not occur to him that this was the detachment of shock."

The real beginning of the story, and the start of the transformation to come.
"The day of the accident Ross telephoned Iliana at work. The nurse on duty with her handed the receiver over. 'Your husband's on the phone.'
'Who?' Iliana asked, because he still seemed just Ross. Almost from the moment she met him, he became his most aptest description, as much an adjective as a noun, indefinable except on his own terms. Ross was simply, even very, Ross to her.
They had been married less than a month, but because he had been practising it all along in his head, marital nomenclature was easier for Ross. 'Is that my old lady? My blushing bride? My better half? My life's sole reason? I cut out early. How about if I pick you up and bring the racquets?'
'I was planning on running home,' she told him.
A single subdued syllable constituted his reply: 'Oh.' It was the ensuing sulky silence that reminded Iliana she had yet to refuse him anything He had, of course, once, that first time he had declined to make love to her. But Ross had relented and so would she, because neither of them wanted marriage to mark the cessation of their mutual indulgence."

Thus it BEGINS.
"Passing the berry fields where straw-hatted pickers stooped between the rows, Ross sounded the horn and waved out the window, shouting, 'Come to my wedding! Come to my wedding at two o'clock!' But they were too hard-working, barely pausing to look up at the lunatic driver shouting out to what must have been to them gibberish. Only the imperious hawks on the fence posts broke their rigid postures and lifted off in celebration.
The midday sun had burned away the morning's threatening haze. Arriving at the site where two years before they had shot a TV Western, Ross remembered the arrows that had been slung and all the fake blood that had spilled. Now the field vibrated benignly in the unfiltered light, green and silver, depending on which way the grass lay. At one end was a solitary tree and, in the centre, banquet tables arranged in rows. The fire was already burning in a pit next to the caterer's and bartender's scallop-edge tents, with Jaime overseeing it. Standing on top of the stile, his tie in his pocket, Ross called to the servers in their Nehru jackets and to Jaime, 'Who has seen my bride?'"

[Theresa Southam · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book in interesting times. The nuclear family is disintegrating. There are so many types and shapes of relationships. This book explores this territory with an eye to emotional integrity and intelligence. It starts with what is, is what is. Along with the nuclear family goes the idea that we just stay in status quo because that is what we do. No, in fact, as the Buddhist convert main character maintains we need to feel what is - right now. A little cliche, but fleshed out in this case with some characters that you slowly get to know and appreciate. This is a light summer read with some surprising twists!

[Rhlibrary]

What do you do when the unthinkable happens? When your life is suddenly, irrevocably altered from the one you thought was all planned out? Ross and Iliana go from happy newlyweds to car crash victims in the blink of an eye. With Iliana now paralyzed and Ross stricken with guilt, we are with them as they cycle through anger, grief, and resentment until they are ultimately, slowly able to adjust to their altered lives with grace and even humor. An emotionally riveting novel that at times left me teary eyed, but was also able to make me smile. I kept trying to imagine myself in the same situation, but always from the safe distance of my as-yet-tragedy-free world. One can never know. This U.S. debut of the Canadian sensation, praised by Margaret Atwood, will stay with you long after the last page. Perfect for book groups!

[Ruth Seeley · Rating 4 out of 5]

In yet another example of weird reading synchronicity, I had just finished reading a friend's memoir of the car accident that devastated her life for many years as well as that of the baby she was carrying when I came across this novel. My perspective on it is therefore, perhaps, a little warped. But this is a fascinating account of a life-altering event and how individuals respond to it. And from what my friend said in her memoir (and from what I know from personal experience after watching my father suffer a series of brain-damaging strokes), the lack of communication, the refusal to discuss the new realities of life and the effect devastating incidents have on relationships is far more common than we realize.

This is an accomplished and insightful novel - highly recommended.

[Nicole Baratta]

Sitting Practice was an interesting story of the trials a marriage faces when tragedy strikes. That said, there were few surprises in this story. I felt for the characters, but wasn't attached to them as I have been in other books. I was moved by the trials the main characters faced, but not to the point of cheering them on the right path. The book itself was written in such a way that I could feel myself in the settings and sometimes even see the characters interacting. Adderson has a lovely writing style, and I would pick up another book by her in a second ... with the hopes that the characters in that book would grab me more than the ones in this one.

[Rena Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admire Caroline Adders on's writing a lot and how could you not? She has such a way with language and characterization. She brings great breadth of character development and really knows how to tell a story. I enjoyed this book but didn't buy into the main character's equipoise (Iliana) after her accident. Just didn't ring true. Her sister-in-law was over the top in the opposite direction. And the writing - jam packed sentences that give no rest for the reader. Choked with cleverness. The ending was easily forecast and had no surprises. Generally however, this is a worthy read, just not great.

[Coleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

10/8/08 - Mixed feelings about this one. While the storyline had good potential, I never really felt like I "knew" the characters very well and even after finishing the novel, I wasn't sure what the purpose of the story was. It did venture off in ways I wasn't expecting, and that made it interesting. But something just didn't settle well...it seemed disjointed at times & the short flashback sections didn't seem to fulfill an adequate purpose. But there were parts of this novel that were interesting and thought-provoking as well.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is a great read----a newlywed ends up in a wheelchair shortly after the wedding, and her husband, who idolizes her, is one of those guys who is squeamish at the sight of blood or other bodily fluids, so he feels guilty and repulsed and still adores her. the author gives everyone's perspective, so i ended up empathizing with all the characters. also, there is a lot of interesting food talk in this book, which i thoroughly enjoyed.

[Alison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Picked this up at the library without knowing anything about it and was pleasantly surprised. The first novel for Adderson, it is a story of two newlyweds who get in a car accident. The woman is paralyzed (happens on first page- calm down) and the plot revolves around her dealing with life in a wheelchair and how it affects her marriage. Sounds depressing and it parts of it are but it is also compelling and funny. A real page turner- I really liked it.

[Roxy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book because of the title - I have been taking a meditation class, so the title appealed to me. While the novel starts off strong with a car accident changing the lines of newlyweds in a split second, it seems to go on and on, with the characters fairly writhing in their misery until the end, when they are still miserable, but somehow ok with it. Interesting writing, but like most Can Lit, not exactly uplifting.

[Salma El-Shafie · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable book, I liked that the author got into the significant events right away, from the very beginning of the book. It deals with a newly weds' accident and how it changes their lives, both of them, even though only one iwas physically affected, the psychological damage and guilt that the other spouse felt was the real cause for their problems.i loved the details, not only were the scenes visually described, but the author would describe how things felt. loved the details.

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think Caroline Adderson is quite underrated as a writer. She's very funny and a keen observer of human nature. I really appreciate her eye for humour in moments of tragedy.

This book had a good balance of humour and sadness. I also liked the Vancouver and Duncan settings and appreciated the plot.


The copy that I got seemed to be a British edition because it had British-ims like "kerb" and "takeaway", which was amusing to read in such a Canadian novel.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a painful, lovely book.

I'll be looking for Adderson's other novels. She opens a window for us, so we can peer in and see all the ugliness and occasional beauty of day-to-day relationships. It's not sugar coated, but it's not glorified grime, either.

It's a breath of mountain air. But the smog is underneath.

[Bachyboy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ross loves Iliana but two weeks after they have married, he is driving her home, takes his eyes off the road and crashes. She is left in a wheelchair and the rest of the story deals with the way they cope with the accident. It is an interesting look at relationships under strain and I liked the Canadian setting.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got about 150 pages in before I gave up and stopped reading. I'm mad I wasted 150 pages on this book. So not worth it. The story line would be a good one if maybe it was written by someone else. This story is all over the place and I was just done. Not worth my time. There are too many good books out there.

[Darin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a somewhat satisfying read, although I never could buy into the changes in the characters. I guess the trauma could lead to such behavior, but I never felt the author justified it through the prose. The story did keep me reading to find out what would happen, but in the end nothing really stands out as memorable. Okay, at best.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although the subject matter is grim (newly married bride becomes paralyzed shortly after wedding) this book is great - manages to bring a light touch to a serious matter. Lots of humor, great dialogue.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this one - the description seemed very intriguing. Unfortunately I just couldn't get into this novel. I felt like the author skipped around too much and I found myself skimming pages.