What do you think?
Rate this book
The Moral Intelligence of Children: How to Raise a Moral Child
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
The question is more relevant now than ever what makes someone a moral person?
Child psychiatrist and Harvard professor Robert Coles has dedicated much of his life to exemplifying, teaching, and writing about the moral life. Here, Coles illuminates the ways in which children become moral or not so moral adults, drawing on case studies, talks with parents, visits to nurseries and classrooms, and interviews with children. No subject could be more important and more timely—for all Americans, but especially for parents. In the tradition of such bestsellers as Cultural Literacy and Emotional Intelligence , The Moral Intelligence of Children identifies a new type of intelligence essential for success and fulfillment in life. It will be used by parents and teachers for years to come as the authoritative guide to children's moral development.
The question is more relevant now than ever what makes someone a moral person?
Child psychiatrist and Harvard professor Robert Coles has dedicated much of his life to exemplifying, teaching, and writing about the moral life. Here, Coles illuminates the ways in which children become moral or not so moral adults, drawing on case studies, talks with parents, visits to nurseries and classrooms, and interviews with children. No subject could be more important and more timely—for all Americans, but especially for parents. In the tradition of such bestsellers as Cultural Literacy and Emotional Intelligence , The Moral Intelligence of Children identifies a new type of intelligence essential for success and fulfillment in life. It will be used by parents and teachers for years to come as the authoritative guide to children's moral development.
218 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
23 people are currently reading
334 people want to read
About the author
Robert Coles
244 books77 followersChild psychiatrist, author, Harvard professor.
Robert Coles is a professor of psychiatry and medical humanities at the Harvard Medical School, a research psychiatrist for the Harvard University Health Services, and the James Agee Professor of Social Ethics at Harvard College.
Robert Coles is a professor of psychiatry and medical humanities at the Harvard Medical School, a research psychiatrist for the Harvard University Health Services, and the James Agee Professor of Social Ethics at Harvard College.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
August 11, 2010
Basically, children learn morality from example. :-)
May 24, 2014
This is not a "how-to" book, with a strategy to impart "moral intelligence" to your children. Rather, a general outline of children's life stages, fleshed out with a generous supply of engaging anecdotal stories taken from the author's long career. A few concrete points were made... 1) Parents who supply instant gratification are setting their children up for failure in the real world. Self control is essential. (I need a drink of water... NOW!) 2) Children learn by example, and are quick to learn the difference between what you say and what you do. As teenagers they become jaded and rebellious. As an aside, the occupation most often cited by the author of children under his psychiatric care was lawyer. Perhaps they treat their home and child rearing as a combative argumentative courtroom? Not THE book on children and character, but a worthwhile read nonetheless.
May 19, 2020
Interesting book with a feel of being a text book.Coles goes in depth with examples of children in situations at different stages of children. Helping the reader to identify clues as to what make a GOOD person , or a NOT SO GOOD person. It was a fascinating read however, a little too wordy for me with way too many "psychologist" terms for the average reader. In my opinion, was over the head of the average parent who might pick it up to read.
September 30, 2010
If you are looking for "bullet points" --short statements and specifics on "how to raise a moral child" this is not the book. While there are some good points, they are buried within the author's recollections of his times with kids of various ages. Not a quick, easy read.
November 9, 2022
share your experiences with your child and what you learned from them. this opens the dialogue for them to share just the same. inact in yourself what you want them to learn for themselves. actions speak louder than words, but words can also bring more words. lead by example.
book was hard to get through but i managed to finish and im glad i did.
book was hard to get through but i managed to finish and im glad i did.
March 23, 2022
A few gems of wisdom and revealing anecdotes that provoke thought, but I overall hated the rambling writing style which made it hard to focus on the text. The last sentence of this book is eight lines long... EIGHT! Coles obviously fancies himself as witty but brevity is the soul of wit and nothing about this book feels concise. Also this information seems a bit dated. He's talking about his experience with children who are currently baby boomers and Gen X at the youngest, so I'm curious about how morality studies now look for children living through the information age... Probably quite a bit different.
April 28, 2013
Passing on Moral Values to the Next Generation
"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind." So said Henry James in response to his nephew when he sought advice on what he ought to do with his life. Robert Coles, known for his extraordinarily insightful thought-provoking and profoundly sensitive five-volume work, Children in Crisis, delves into what it means to be moral and goes further to examine how children - even very young children - acquire moral values, that is learning empathy and living by the Golden Rule, not to do unto others what one would not want done unto himself.
In the first part, "Moral Intelligence," Dr. Coles examines what it means to be a good person or a not-so-good person. He discusses moral intelligence, that is, how children learn empathy and respect for others and themselves. He shows how this moral intelligence is as important, if not more important, other forms of human success and intellectual achievement.
In the second part, "The Moral Archaeology of Childhood," Dr. Coles explores how children acquire empathy and other critical moral values at various stages of childhood. Drawing upon the work of Anna Freud, the infant and toddler quickly learns by the limits of "Yes" and "No." He also discusses the problems of the spoiled child and how to prevent a baby from growing up to be a bully. Dr. Coles refers to the elementary school years as the "Age of Conscience," the period when a child's verbal skills enables him to take in what he sees, hears, and reads and try to make sense of everything. In his section on adolescence, Dr. Coles explores how teens try to cope with decisions and how to understand life and new responsibilities, including coping with alcohol, drugs, sex, and other moral questions. It is during these latter two stages of development that adults play a major role in the moral development of the child by leading through example and espousing positive and meaningful values themselves.
The role of adults - parents, teachers, caretakers, and doctors - is more fully explored in the third section of the book, "Letter to Teachers and Parents." Case studies of young people in the first two decades of their life provide important illustrations on the conscious and subconscious messages adults and society send to the next generation, with considerable introspection as to how parents and teachers in particular can best help children cultivate kindness and empathy by relating to them at their level and sending positive messages not through books and lectures, but actions.
Like Fred Rogers, Maria Montessori, Jonathan Kozol, and Janusz Korczak, Robert Coles knows how to relate to children on their level, as full human beings at an early stage of development rather than as miniature adults or "people in training." Such people are rare; anyone who cares about children would do well reading the works of these special pedagogues. The Moral Intelligence of Children is a valuable contribution to this important genre.
"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind." So said Henry James in response to his nephew when he sought advice on what he ought to do with his life. Robert Coles, known for his extraordinarily insightful thought-provoking and profoundly sensitive five-volume work, Children in Crisis, delves into what it means to be moral and goes further to examine how children - even very young children - acquire moral values, that is learning empathy and living by the Golden Rule, not to do unto others what one would not want done unto himself.
In the first part, "Moral Intelligence," Dr. Coles examines what it means to be a good person or a not-so-good person. He discusses moral intelligence, that is, how children learn empathy and respect for others and themselves. He shows how this moral intelligence is as important, if not more important, other forms of human success and intellectual achievement.
In the second part, "The Moral Archaeology of Childhood," Dr. Coles explores how children acquire empathy and other critical moral values at various stages of childhood. Drawing upon the work of Anna Freud, the infant and toddler quickly learns by the limits of "Yes" and "No." He also discusses the problems of the spoiled child and how to prevent a baby from growing up to be a bully. Dr. Coles refers to the elementary school years as the "Age of Conscience," the period when a child's verbal skills enables him to take in what he sees, hears, and reads and try to make sense of everything. In his section on adolescence, Dr. Coles explores how teens try to cope with decisions and how to understand life and new responsibilities, including coping with alcohol, drugs, sex, and other moral questions. It is during these latter two stages of development that adults play a major role in the moral development of the child by leading through example and espousing positive and meaningful values themselves.
The role of adults - parents, teachers, caretakers, and doctors - is more fully explored in the third section of the book, "Letter to Teachers and Parents." Case studies of young people in the first two decades of their life provide important illustrations on the conscious and subconscious messages adults and society send to the next generation, with considerable introspection as to how parents and teachers in particular can best help children cultivate kindness and empathy by relating to them at their level and sending positive messages not through books and lectures, but actions.
Like Fred Rogers, Maria Montessori, Jonathan Kozol, and Janusz Korczak, Robert Coles knows how to relate to children on their level, as full human beings at an early stage of development rather than as miniature adults or "people in training." Such people are rare; anyone who cares about children would do well reading the works of these special pedagogues. The Moral Intelligence of Children is a valuable contribution to this important genre.
Read
September 9, 2016kecerdasan moral anak
August 6, 2010
I admit I did not read every page of this book but I did not find it very insightful as a parent. I guess I was looking for hands-on ideas for raising a child with morality. The book discussed real or fictional examples and evaluated why children ended up without morality...not how to make sure they have morality.
July 16, 2008
I like that included the voices of people with whom he's worked, but I question some of the beliefs presented. Can an infant really understand that sometimes you have to wait? Maybe just not mine...maybe I really am spoiling him ;)
April 10, 2012
I started reading this book because it was in the car. It's actually my mom's book. Though it does have some cool information. I especially like reading about other people's mistakes(kids and adults,hee,hee)=D
March 19, 2012
This was a very thought provoking book and I have recommended it over the years to many people in education.
December 9, 2013
I didn't really finish the book. Maybe I will pick it up another time. When reading for pleasure, I much prefer stories.
August 27, 2013
A decent book with pretty good ideas about morality and pitfalls many parents make when trying to instill it into our children. It was worth reading, but not my favorite book on the subject.
February 16, 2015
In conclusion, lead by examples, do not send mixed moral messages.
January 5, 2016
Thought-provoking read, especially because I found it helped me see particular students in my class this year more completely, helping me better empathize with their internal difficulties.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews