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201 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 19, 2016



At bottom, no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone.And never is one more alone than in the throes of helpless sexual desire–so often confused with love-for someone who cannot, will not, love you in return.
I know they’re all I have . . . these partial selves, true and false at once, that any ideal of wholeness I long for is a sham.It's just as Rilke said: in every conflict and every perplexity . . one is alone.
That's all care is, I thought, it's just looking at a thing long enough, why should it be a question of scale? This seemed like a hopeful thought at first, but then it's hard to look at things, or to look at them truly, and we can't look at many at once, and it's so easy to look away.