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Catacombs of Terror
Following the discovery of the lost manuscript, Catacombs of Terror by Radiohead artist Stanley Donwood is being published by the Scratter & Pomace imprint of Tangent Books. Catacombs of Terror was written by Donwood for a £5 bet that he could write a 50,000-word pulp fiction novel in 30 days. Donwood won the bet and a limited-edition of 1,000 books was published by Hedonist in 2002. Donwood then updated the story with hand-written notes, but the manuscript was thought lost until it came into the possession of Tangent Books. Catacombs of Terror is set in Donwood's home town of Bath. It's a pulp-fiction novel starring private eye Martin Valpolicella who is drawn into a dark underworld of subterranean terror involving drugs, guns and pigs.
256 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
November 16, 2016
I honestly thought this would be so much better, but I gave up after 9 chapters. I just couldn't get into the protagonist or why I should care about him as a character. For a 204 page book I should've had this done in 2 or 3 sittings. Just bad.
November 25, 2022
This book is so fucking stupid and pointless.
December 28, 2016
What a bloody delight. This book has absolutely no literary merit of which to speak or critique. The thing is riddled through with cliche. The writing is a punched-up, semi-modernized take on a style that has been replicated and re-done a million times. The plot is something that seems like it was improvised during NaNoWriMo. The characters are archetypal.
And it's the most fun reading I've had all year. It's an absolute trashy, hilariously enjoyable ride. The prose is pastiche in a lovable way, the characters the same. The plot is awful and not really at all important except to provide an excuse for the antics inside. And the book delivers what it promises: there are guns, drugs, and pigs.
Stay far away from this novel if you're looking for anything with literary merit or actual depth. If you want to have a blast paging through a hilarious noir-horror homage, then this is the book for you.
And it's the most fun reading I've had all year. It's an absolute trashy, hilariously enjoyable ride. The prose is pastiche in a lovable way, the characters the same. The plot is awful and not really at all important except to provide an excuse for the antics inside. And the book delivers what it promises: there are guns, drugs, and pigs.
Stay far away from this novel if you're looking for anything with literary merit or actual depth. If you want to have a blast paging through a hilarious noir-horror homage, then this is the book for you.
November 29, 2015
Ive been in Bath recently and picked this up at the tremendous Mr B's Emporium bookshop which is well worth a trip to Bath to visit. It's published from a Bristol publisher and is set in and around Bath itself. Private Eye Martin Valpolicello is told that he is about to be framed for murder. Who and why become evident as the story unfolds and Valpolicello assisted by two dubious friends Stonehenge and Kafka uncovers a fiendish plot that reaches its terrible conclusion in the secret catacombs beneath Bath. This a quirky take on the private 'tec novel and is tinged with elements of Hammer Horror films and arcane Alan Moore-isms. Great cover too but you can't see it on this app unfortunately.
November 23, 2016
Full Review
Catacombs of Terror! is not only not nearly the book you'd expect from Radiohead's resident artist, it's riddled with faults. That said, if you're looking for a fun and quick pulp mystery with elements of horror, it's not a bad choice. After reading some of Donwood's short stories, I've found those to be far more compelling. If this does nothing for you, read those instead.
Catacombs of Terror! is not only not nearly the book you'd expect from Radiohead's resident artist, it's riddled with faults. That said, if you're looking for a fun and quick pulp mystery with elements of horror, it's not a bad choice. After reading some of Donwood's short stories, I've found those to be far more compelling. If this does nothing for you, read those instead.
October 27, 2023
I was a huge Radiohead fan back in the late 90s, but just as much a fan of Stanley Donwood, as he was responsible for most of their artwork, websites, artistic expression and sometimes merch like t-shirts and so on. It would probably be uncontroversial to say he was part of the band, even if he had nothing to do with the music.
"I'm beginning to feel like I'm on stage, and the script is - well, it's really bad" (quote from the book)
Looking through some of the reviews on this site, I think there's a possible flaws in expectations by some. Taking this book as a serious attempt to do a classical mystery novel is a mistake. I remember back when it was released Stanley said the whole concept was that he had reads a bunch of the worst cheap pulp literature, all within in a month or so, and then try to write this book, leaning on the worst cliches he could find, only within a week or two. Postmodern irony was fashionable in the 90s.
If you don't have that preclaimer when going into this book I don't know how it is to read it, although I honestly think the book expresses that on it's own too.
Despite all this, Stanley Donwood genius writing style shines through, even within the format. I think the book is excellent. It's full of dry humor, and quirky cleverly written lines. It actually does have a layer of existentialist philosophy over it as well, which I'm not sure if normal within this genre otherwise. One of the side characters in it is named Colin Kafka, after all. There is also a there's a similar process against the main character as in Kafka's famous "The Trial". I really like how the story is built up, and absurdity of private investigator Martin Valpolicella getting pulled into a huge mystery that's larger-than-life, despite having the rumor of being bad at his job.
It all builds up towards a huge catacomb system under the town full of man-eating pigs, survelleilance, cults,, and you have no idea. The whole thing doesn't quite make sense in the end, with a twist that would make Shyamalan blush, and so on. It's a very funny book if you take it for what it is supposed to be. This book had a lot of impact on me when I was younger, and it was enjoyable re-reading it again, and I think it holds up.
"I'm beginning to feel like I'm on stage, and the script is - well, it's really bad" (quote from the book)
Looking through some of the reviews on this site, I think there's a possible flaws in expectations by some. Taking this book as a serious attempt to do a classical mystery novel is a mistake. I remember back when it was released Stanley said the whole concept was that he had reads a bunch of the worst cheap pulp literature, all within in a month or so, and then try to write this book, leaning on the worst cliches he could find, only within a week or two. Postmodern irony was fashionable in the 90s.
If you don't have that preclaimer when going into this book I don't know how it is to read it, although I honestly think the book expresses that on it's own too.
Despite all this, Stanley Donwood genius writing style shines through, even within the format. I think the book is excellent. It's full of dry humor, and quirky cleverly written lines. It actually does have a layer of existentialist philosophy over it as well, which I'm not sure if normal within this genre otherwise. One of the side characters in it is named Colin Kafka, after all. There is also a there's a similar process against the main character as in Kafka's famous "The Trial". I really like how the story is built up, and absurdity of private investigator Martin Valpolicella getting pulled into a huge mystery that's larger-than-life, despite having the rumor of being bad at his job.
It all builds up towards a huge catacomb system under the town full of man-eating pigs, survelleilance, cults,, and you have no idea. The whole thing doesn't quite make sense in the end, with a twist that would make Shyamalan blush, and so on. It's a very funny book if you take it for what it is supposed to be. This book had a lot of impact on me when I was younger, and it was enjoyable re-reading it again, and I think it holds up.
January 26, 2018
*** Possible Spoilers ***
This is a combination thriller and comedy although the comedy is strictly tongue-in-cheek so you won't find yourself laughing much. It is done in the classic detective genre - rather scruffy private investigator who gets himself entangled in a deep and sinister plot. I wouldn't say it's a page-turner but it kept me interested until the end so it's not bad and the pacing is excellent. The author relies on a few too many cliches for my taste but I suppose that's required in writing this sort of satire so I guess it's okay. The story comes with a nice twist at the end although I was left wondering if the author deliberately gave it that twist or if he simply ran out of time to finish the book. It's a fairly good story for a rainy Sunday afternoon but there are plenty of better books you can read.
There was one aspect of the story that seemed a bit sloppy. The bad guys have almost the entire city covered with CCTVs so they can watch everyone. Our hero locates himself in the one spot that doesn't have these camera from where he makes a cell-phone call. And it doesn't occur to him that cell phones are remarkably easy to hack and trace. Worse yet this doesn't occur to the bad guys either which means it probably didn't occur to the author - but it should have. There were a number of other loose ends in the story - like why - but from the point of view of simple unquestioning story telling it's okay.
This is a combination thriller and comedy although the comedy is strictly tongue-in-cheek so you won't find yourself laughing much. It is done in the classic detective genre - rather scruffy private investigator who gets himself entangled in a deep and sinister plot. I wouldn't say it's a page-turner but it kept me interested until the end so it's not bad and the pacing is excellent. The author relies on a few too many cliches for my taste but I suppose that's required in writing this sort of satire so I guess it's okay. The story comes with a nice twist at the end although I was left wondering if the author deliberately gave it that twist or if he simply ran out of time to finish the book. It's a fairly good story for a rainy Sunday afternoon but there are plenty of better books you can read.
There was one aspect of the story that seemed a bit sloppy. The bad guys have almost the entire city covered with CCTVs so they can watch everyone. Our hero locates himself in the one spot that doesn't have these camera from where he makes a cell-phone call. And it doesn't occur to him that cell phones are remarkably easy to hack and trace. Worse yet this doesn't occur to the bad guys either which means it probably didn't occur to the author - but it should have. There were a number of other loose ends in the story - like why - but from the point of view of simple unquestioning story telling it's okay.
October 11, 2017
A big thanks to Gallery Books for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review!
Can we just admire the pulpy goodness of this cover? I will always love these kinds of novels. CATACOMBS OF TERROR! by Stanley Donwood isn't going to be for everyone. If you love the more noir type crime novels then this will be more up your alley!
Private Investigator Martin Valpolicella has been tipped off that he is going to be set up to take the fall for a murder. The intended target? A former lover of his and it set to take place in the catacombs under Bath, England. Now he must race against the clock to stop this murder so he can't take the fall.
This is a quick and short novel, so it didn't take too long to finish reading. I can't say too much more about the plot without giving away a lot. None of the characters are particularly likeable, but I feel like in this genre you don't always like the protagonist (especially because there isn't a lot of book to connect to them). The bottom line is that if you like the hard-boiled crime or pulp fiction novels, then you'll get some enjoyment out of it. Full of seedy characters, drugs, a hard-as-nails PI, and an ending I wasn't expecting.
I give this 3.5/5 stars!
Can we just admire the pulpy goodness of this cover? I will always love these kinds of novels. CATACOMBS OF TERROR! by Stanley Donwood isn't going to be for everyone. If you love the more noir type crime novels then this will be more up your alley!
Private Investigator Martin Valpolicella has been tipped off that he is going to be set up to take the fall for a murder. The intended target? A former lover of his and it set to take place in the catacombs under Bath, England. Now he must race against the clock to stop this murder so he can't take the fall.
This is a quick and short novel, so it didn't take too long to finish reading. I can't say too much more about the plot without giving away a lot. None of the characters are particularly likeable, but I feel like in this genre you don't always like the protagonist (especially because there isn't a lot of book to connect to them). The bottom line is that if you like the hard-boiled crime or pulp fiction novels, then you'll get some enjoyment out of it. Full of seedy characters, drugs, a hard-as-nails PI, and an ending I wasn't expecting.
I give this 3.5/5 stars!
January 28, 2023
This book is WILD.
Lovingly nicknamed “The Bathroom Book” by me and my best friend during BEA 2016 where we both wavered on grabbing an ARC only to find copies of it in the women’s room on our way out, The Catacombs of Terror! has been a book that I’ve been meaning to read for years and never got around to. Until now.
What I was expecting was The Room, but in book form. What I got was a bonkers thriller that’s unevenly paced but also interesting enough to keep turning the page. And had me questioning what was happening until the very last sentence.
Knowing the story behind it’s creation (as detailed on the first few pages) is crazy, but made this even more enjoyable. It’s quite the ride.
Lovingly nicknamed “The Bathroom Book” by me and my best friend during BEA 2016 where we both wavered on grabbing an ARC only to find copies of it in the women’s room on our way out, The Catacombs of Terror! has been a book that I’ve been meaning to read for years and never got around to. Until now.
What I was expecting was The Room, but in book form. What I got was a bonkers thriller that’s unevenly paced but also interesting enough to keep turning the page. And had me questioning what was happening until the very last sentence.
Knowing the story behind it’s creation (as detailed on the first few pages) is crazy, but made this even more enjoyable. It’s quite the ride.
October 25, 2017
This book is so bizarre. I bought it on a whim and because I needed something scary to read for October. It's not what I was expecting and that's no bad thing. Before reading this, you definitely need to read the introduction on how this book was made on a bet, went through publishing hell, and was literally saved from the fire. It's not scary, not really but it's horror-flavored for sure. The twist ending was no great surprise to me and yet I still enjoyed it. It's corny and fun. Plus, it'll take like a week to read anyway so what's to lose?
October 11, 2018
Oof. I don’t read a lot of pulp noir detective novels but I expected more. The book had me up until the end, as bizarre as it was. But then with such an abrupt ending it left me feeling like the author had written himself into a corner and couldn’t find his way out. It came across as sloppy and amateurish. It was like he just stopped caring. Which begs the question, if the author doesn’t care, why should the reader?
October 19, 2017
The best and only good thing about this book is the cover. This reminded me of Warren Ellis' books and I was not a fan of those.
Weird, rambling, kind of aimless. The characters are annoying and the plot is predictable. The MC has a language tick where he keeps saying, "Yeah. Whatever." and it WAS. SO. ANNOYING.
I regret reading this.
Weird, rambling, kind of aimless. The characters are annoying and the plot is predictable. The MC has a language tick where he keeps saying, "Yeah. Whatever." and it WAS. SO. ANNOYING.
I regret reading this.
March 17, 2017
Eh. Pretty mediocre. Ending was lame. Whatever.
December 11, 2017
As good as modern occult pulp gets. I found the ending tremendously satisfying. Your views may obviously differ.
January 28, 2018
3.5 stars, really. A quick read of good pulpy fun set in Bath.
April 3, 2018
Great reading. Great ending.
I received this book free from Goodreads First Reads.
I received this book free from Goodreads First Reads.
February 16, 2017
First off, that cover! Without it, I would never have even picked it up in the first place. With blood red pages edges, I saw it, and had to get it. Not the biggest pulp fan in the world, but you gotta read outside of your comfort zone once in a while, helps with perspective and influence. The tale itself is pretty standard, hard-up PI is forewarned about being named as a murderer, in a few days time. He has to solve the crime, before he gets arrested.
So far, so bleurgh...however, the thing that sold this book to me, cover aside, is that it's set in the city of Bath, where I lived, and still work. So I thought I'd give it a go. It was cool reading about him visiting pubs I've been into, and the general nature of the place.
Whilst it is nothing groundbreaking, the ending was certainly out of leftfield, and I'm rather glad I took a punt on it.
So far, so bleurgh...however, the thing that sold this book to me, cover aside, is that it's set in the city of Bath, where I lived, and still work. So I thought I'd give it a go. It was cool reading about him visiting pubs I've been into, and the general nature of the place.
Whilst it is nothing groundbreaking, the ending was certainly out of leftfield, and I'm rather glad I took a punt on it.
September 3, 2017
like Raymond Chandler meets HP Lovecraft, Stanley Donwood here writes an atmospheric crime story that rises slightly above the satire that it pretends to. The detective here is alarmed by an anonymous note that he is going to be framed for murder in a couple of days and it leads him into a twisted chase through bath leading to underground tunnels and an occult group that aspires to the illuminati. Everything here is elevated by the moments of genuine horror that exist in the tunnels beneath bath, where wild pigs run free. Ultimately it doesn't move toward a satisfying conclusion, though it moves through the requisite twists that these sorts of novels aspire to - but that's OK because the dialogue is funny when its not snappy and snappy when it's expository. Stanley Donwood has a strong voice and while the plot becomes silly at times, it's alright because we've been led to expect the distance from reality established.
February 10, 2017
Poorly written and exceptionally dull. Boring characters, boring plot, boring plot holes. Who edited this?
July 4, 2019
This book was terrible. Big waste of time. I was excited to read this book for the obvious humor. And it was not a bad book until you get to the very end. Like WTF was that? The only cool thing about this book is it was written by Radiohead's illustrator who does their album art. Everything else was a huge disappointment. Especially that crap at the end. Do not recommend.
January 20, 2016
A private detective becomes involved in a mysterious plot.
The first hundred pages were gripping, with a quirky / punchy style, but after that the plot became jumbled. The cover and physical quality of the book were good.
The first hundred pages were gripping, with a quirky / punchy style, but after that the plot became jumbled. The cover and physical quality of the book were good.
March 12, 2020
The premise makes no sense at all, but ah well. I quite liked how over-the-top and macabre this was. The narrator’s voice really worked for me. And I loved the ending. Ultimately, though, the best thing about this book is the cover.
October 11, 2016
Lost interest rather quickly due to my inability to warm to the POV character. Library return necessary and a return to this book unlikely at this time.
October 13, 2016
Read a different hardback edition (203 pages). Basically a silly faux noir detective story that is saved for a star by a twist in the narrative at the end.
January 2, 2017
Not too deep but fun enough to keep you turning the pages.
January 31, 2020
A palette cleanse of fiction for those heavy books, a read that goes as quick as the plot and although the introduction is the best thing about the book the end is a real kicker.
April 3, 2020
Admire the cover, skip the story.
October 30, 2020
Thought this would be a bit of fun, a few laughs, but it was just rubbish really and a total waste of reading time and money. Shame. Sad!
May 23, 2020
My version had 298 pages
October 7, 2021
Weird and a bit spooky, but immensely entertaining!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews