The Man in the Monster: Inside the Mind of a Serial Killer

by Martha Elliott

An astonishing portrait of a murderer and his complex relationship with a crusading journalist
 
Michael Ross was a serial killer who raped and murdered eight young women between 1981 and 1984. In 2005, the state of Connecticut put him to death by lethal injection. His crimes were horrific, and he paid the ultimate price for them.
 
When journalist Martha Elliott first heard of Ross, she learned what the world knew of him—that he had been a master at hiding in plain sight. Elliott, a staunch critic of the death penalty, was drawn to the case when the Connecticut Supreme Court overturned Ross’s six death sentences. Rather than fight for his life, Ross requested that he be executed because he didn’t want the families of his victims to suffer through a new trial. Elliott was intrigued and sought an interview. The two began a weekly conversation—and developed an odd form of friendship—that lasted over a decade, until Ross’s last moments of life.
 
Over the course of his twenty years in prison, Ross had come to embrace faith for the first time in his life. He had also undergone extensive medical treatment. The Michael Ross whom Elliott knew seemed to be a different man from the monster who was capable of such heinous crimes. This Michael Ross made it his mission to share his story with Elliott in the hopes that it would save lives. He was her partner in unlocking the mystery of his own evil.
 
In The Man in the Monster , Martha Elliott gives us a groundbreaking look into the life and motivation of a serial killer. Drawing on a decade of conversations and letters between Ross and the author, readers are given an in-depth view of a killer’s innermost thoughts and secrets, revealing the human face of a monster—without ignoring the horrors of his crimes. Elliott takes us deep into a world of court hearings, tomblike prisons, lawyers hell-bent to kill or to save—and families ravaged by love and hate. This is the personal story of a journalist who came to know herself in ways she could never have imagined when she opened the notebook for that first interview.
 
Praise for The Man in the Monster :
 
“Sturdily written and well researched . . . The book will appeal to those curious about why killers kill, and those who can stomach what they learn.” — The Boston Globe
 
“A fascinating, in-depth analysis for true-crime buffs, sociologists, and others grappling with nearly impossible-to-comprehend actions and their consequences.”   — Booklist

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Crime, Psychology, Memoir

336 pages, Paperback

First published August 4, 2015

Reviews

[Erin Clemence · Rating 4 out of 5]

Journalist Martha Elliot became intrigued by serial killer Michael Ross when, instead of fighting for his life, he chose to accept the death row sentence he was handed, claiming he “owed it to the families of his victims”. During ten years of court appearances and appeals, Elliot met with Ross (in person and over the phone), to try and figure out what would make someone give up their life so easily. A staunch opposer to the death penalty, Elliot decided to turn her interviews into a novel and “The Man in the Monster” was born. Ten years later, Elliot and Ross have formed a strange friendship, and Ross is finally executed for his crimes.

Michael Ross raped and murdered eight women, including two young teenagers. Ross himself does not argue that the crime was committed, but states inside that “the monster inside him” (his mental illness) committed the crime. Ross claims he wanted the police, his lawyers and even journalists to help him determine WHY he could not control his monster, and therefore was agreeable to interviews and interrogations. Elliot’s goal was to meet Michael Ross, the person, and separate him from Michael Ross, the monster.

This was a hard novel for me to read without judgment. Ross is a manipulative cretin, and he uses his mental illness as an excuse for harming innocent people. Ross had a rough childhood with an overbearing mother and an emotionally absent father (the parenting nightmare that is present with most serial killers) , as well as siblings (who turned into fully functioning, non-crime-committing adults) and I was intrigued as to why Michael became the person he was.

Many psychologists and psychiatrists claimed Michael was a “sexual sadist”, and they claimed that if this mental illness had been controlled, Michael would not have committed such heinous crimes. Using these examples, Elliot tried to portray Michael as a “serial killer with a moral compass”. I tried (oh, how I tried) , to view him through Elliot’s eyes. I was definitely not successful.

I enjoyed reading about Michaels’ background and upbringing, trying to determine what made him turn against the mores of society. His continued claims of “the devil made me do it” (more or less) were predictable, as serial killers all have some kind of mental illness, but his “feelings of guilt and remorse” contradicted with his statements that he did not see his victims as people. He felt for the parents of his victims, but yet his victims “had it coming”? A complete manipulation, using the facts that would garner him the most sympathy. Ross was insistent that he did not want to leave the world with the reputation of the “serial killer Michael Ross”. (just a thought? How about you try not killing people?)

Needless to say, as my babbling dictates, this novel got me thinking and feeling (both good feelings and bad) . Elliot writes very well, and she covers all the angles, including getting interviews from some of the victims’ families which I found respectful and heartfelt. Although we saw Ross differently, Elliot makes a profound effort at attempting to humanize Ross. I think readers may not see him this way, but I thoroughly enjoyed the background and psychological portrayal of Ross, and it was definitely a disturbing read.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a Impartial Account

This is not a balanced account but that’s fair. The author is entitled to her beliefs and world view. Elliott carefully goes through the serial killer Michael Ross’s life and his crimes as well as his mental state and capacity. She also retells as much as is known about the crime committed on each of his many victims. This part of the book is excruciating to read however I respect that she did it. Each victim deserves to be accounted for along with their fear, and often their rape and murder. Strangely this is not the most painful part of the story. For me I was more offended with all the empathy she wastes on Ross. To be fair she also gives the victims’ families and others associated with Ross equal empathy.

Elliott’s writing is clear and articulate and sheds light on some of the intricacies of our judicial system as well as Ross’s psychopathology As much as I disagree with Elliott’s stance I feel I came away from her book more enlightened. “The Man in the Monster” is a horrible subject told well.

Thank you to the publisher for providing an ARC.

[Heather Fineisen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book is meant to evoke an emotional reaction in the reader. This is what an author strives for, correct? Martha Elliott has succeeded. My emotional reaction is irritated. Elliott, a reporter at the beginning of following of this story, befriends convicted serial killer and rapist Michael Ross as he sits on death row fighting for the death penalty. She grapples with her own conscience and beliefs and offers a comprehensive overview of serial killing and death penalty cases.

However, I found myself thinking constantly of the victims and screaming in my my mind for her to just stop. I took a serial killer class in college many moons ago and remember the professor sharing his experience with Ted Bundy, with whom he "became friends with". Driving to visit him, maybe under the guise of research, he pulled over in a WTF moment or what some may call a moment of clarity and never went back. Admittedly, he had been sucked in to the serial killer's charm and normalcy. He had been sucked in to Bundy' s game.

Is Elliot, like my college professor, being sucked into Ross's game? Michael Ross raped and killed women and two young pre-teens. This is not questioned. His sanity and/or mental illness as it relates to the death penalty is. Does treatment, such as hormone therapy to curb sexual impulse, rehabilitate sexual killers? Elliott explores these issues while she attempts to reconcile her friendship with what she calls "the other half" of Ross with the sadistic rapist and killer he is. Read it to find out if she succeeds.

Note: this book contains graphic details of rape and murder that may be disturbing

Provided by First to Read

[Karen Wright · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was very interested in this topic since I had a cousin who was murdered by a serial killer back in 1980 who was subsequently executed in 2013.

I thought this book would give me insight into why a person could do such a thing to others. Instead, the author, Martha Elliot, crossed all boundaries of professional journalism by becoming friends with the serial killer/rapist, and ultimately living a decade of her life for him -- trying to defend his horrific crimes (and coming to terms with her feelings about the death penalty) by letting herself be manipulated to share the message for how he wanted the world to view him -- and he did a great job of getting her to describe him as a "friend" who was just an ordinary guy... not the monster he was. I am a journalist and found myself getting angry at how someone could let themselves be manipulated into writing a manifesto for him -- at the expense of living her own life. It seems as though her personal life suffered because she was willing to take this creep's calls any time of day, willing to make plane trips across the country to see him/go to his court cases, attempt to justify his actions to the world, etc... For spending ten years with this killer, I felt the author spent more time trying to defend why she was writing this book than getting into the killer's mind. She was clearly told what he wanted her to hear. I would not recommend this book and felt it was a waste of time to give so much ink to an individual who clearly deserves to be forgotten. It felt like propaganda from a serial killer.

[Jeanette Rivard · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a very strange book. It's really about the author and her friendship with a killer as much as it is about anything. Martha Elliott is no Truman Capote, that's for sure. And I kept feeling like she thought it an honor to become friends with someone so vile. I can't help feeling that she might have been a victim herself: of the charms and manipulation of a psychopath.

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This may well be the hardest review I have written. Not because I did not like the book or disagreed with something, but rather because my mind can't settle after finishing this story. I had never heard of Michael Ross before this book. So his stories, his victims, their families and the insight Martha Elliot provided was all new to me as I read and became immersed in this story. To say this book was horrifying, gripping, unsettling, etc. would not be adequate in explaining the complexity of emotions and reflections that I experienced while reading this story. It would be easy to read this story as if it is were fiction, but knowing that these events did take place, these crimes did occur and that these people are dead just led me to a different seriousness and reaction.

I was appalled at the crimes, hurt for the families, but also shocked at how many times there were issues that ME showcased in the justice system during and after the trial with the attorneys, transcripts, jury issues and more. Her step by step approach to showing the events, the appeals, how her relationship grew, the honesty between the two and the final days and moments of Michael Ross's life provide a gut wrenching view into the arena of mental illness, death penalty and the American justice system. I appreciate the honesty ME demonstrated with her feelings about her research, Michael's role in her and her family's life, the idea of the death penalty and more. The roles of Michael the man versus the monster are very clearly showcased in this book with the conversations between them regarding family, faith, sarcasm about how he is the only guilty one on death row and then those regarding his retelling of the crimes, emotions and thoughts especially when he wrote ME the letter about one of the stalking/rape/murder crimes.

If you are passionate about true crime or really like knowing the why or how behind a situation this book will grab you from the beginning. I think that individuals, legal scholars, and those interested in the justice system, death penalty and mental illness would find this book extremely riveting especially given the current conversations regarding mental illness with gun control and other legal matters. Regardless if you are pro or anti death penalty or pro or anti the need for more help with/funding for mental illness research and aid Michael Ross's story and ME's telling of the people involved will cause you to think through your stance, where our judicial system was and is and how decisions impact people (victims, the families, the perpetrator, friends, legal workers, community, etc.) immediately and for years to come.

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was given to me by Netgalley to read and review for Penguin Press.

Journalist Martha Elliott wrote it after spending more than a decade talking to, writing, and at times meeting with Michael Ross, a serial killer from Connecticut who raped and murdered at least 8 women between 1981 and 1984. She originally heard about him when she was working as the editor and publisher of the Connecticut Law Review, and decided to do an article about him. She had read how the Connecticut Supreme Court had overturned his 6 death sentences, and that Ross began lobbying to accept a death sentence, to spare the victim's families the pain of going through another trial.

She wrote him for the interview, and they began corresponding. This book is a result of what came out of 10 years of letters and phone calls between them, and her researching and interviews of many people involved. It tells about as much as there is to know about him, his crimes, and the psychology behind his diagnosis of sexual sadism. She eventually ended up becoming his friend through it all, and was with him until the end, despite her deep personal feelings against the death penalty.

This is one of the most in depth books delving into a serial killer's life and mind that I've read in 40 years of True Crime reading. It goes into his early years, adult life and the horrible killings, and his trials and death sentences. Also how she was to learn about his life in prison, and seemingly finding religion and remorse for his actions after being given chemicals to dampen his sex drive, which he said finally relieved him of his violent fantasies.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group: The Penguin Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

It’s telling that midway through the first bit of this book – which I found to be about as imbalanced a portrayal of this subject as possible – I actually grabbed my phone to take a photo of my Kindle.

My husband gave me a strange look, naturally and asked what I was doing.

“Making sure I don’t forget this part. It made me so angry I’m afraid I’ll black it out due to rage.”



Let me just repeat that here: Michael Ross was a brutal rapist and killer, but I also met another side of him - a caring, thoughtful person...

See, where you really should have stopped is after 'killer' because there is not a 'but' big enough in the world to follow that sentence. My other favourite bit is this: Father John was the first one to convince Michael that God would forgive him even if no one else could.

How lovely for Michael isn't it?

He went around kidnapping young girls (don't be fooled by the constant repetition of 'young women' - a few of his victims were in their early teens), shoving his penis in their mouths, raping them however he cared to (vaginally, anally - in one particularly repugnant passage, he tells Martha that he couldn't 'get it into' one girl because she was so small, so he settled for raping her anally), and then strangling them and hiding their bodies, often tossing them places like the garbage you know he thought they were. Just sexual receptacles and playthings, discarded when he felt like it and not a minute sooner.

And yet, this Priest takes it upon himself to offer this person 'forgiveness'. Great. How is that in any way his business or concern? Was HE raped and murdered by Michael Ross? What? The answer is no? Well, then, simple: he doesn't have the right. Ever.

Only his victims had the right, and he took that away from them, just like he stole their breath, blood, tears, sweat, dreams, desires and silly, sweet, selfish hopes. He stole any children they may have had out of their wombs. Any hearts they may have broken. Any romances or marriages. Any careers out from their fingertips. Their names will never be on office doors. Their families will never know, never know, never know.

All because this guy thought he could do this, and get away with it, and the whole time I was reading this book, all I could think was, Martha Elliott, you got played.

Of course she did, really. He did this for a living.

But honestly, so did she.

She's supposed to be a celebrated journalist and she can't even examine why she goes to bat for this guy? Why she has been manipulated into telling his side of the tale? Why she'll drop everything to be by his side? She doesn't wonder if he's telling her exactly what she wants to hear, in order to get what he wants?

Just like he did with his victims?

[John Allen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Michael Ross, the subject of Martha Elliot's hybrid memoir/"I'll remember you" tale of friendship with a death row inmate, was convicted of raping and murdering 8 women from 1981 - 1984. These included adolescent girls.

Martha Elliot befriended (if the reader is content to believe that friendship was all that was going on here) Michael Ross during her prestigious career as a journalist. While writing for the Tribune she decided to interview Ross about his guilt or innocence. For some reason, the interview had to be in person rather on the phone.

The two hit it off famously, and a budding friendship began. She began to study his life. A victim of psychological abuse by his mother, he began his career of raping and murdering women in college, even though he had plenty of girlfriends.

My problem with the book comes down, really, to the believability of Ross' motives when interacting with Elliot, and her almost complete lack of skepticism regarding them.

She behaved almost as if she were his secretary, advocate, and something else? all at once. So eager indeed was she to help Ross that she delivered documents and newspapers to him on a daily basis, and would immediately call him back to read to him from whatever book or article he was curious about. Miss Elliot is a celebrated journalist for good reason and I don't intend to take any cheap shots, but not once in the entirety of this challenging text do you really get the sense that she's even raised that important question: am I being manipulated by a psychopathic rapist/murderer?

We hear about his hormone therapy, his struggles in court, his willingness to "surrender his life" and accept the death penalty to "satisfy the needs of the victims". Of course, paragraphs before, she recounts from letters he wrote which describe prison life as not worth enduring, or death being better. He writes a lot about his suffering and displays a sort of disturbing, superficial chivalry, urging Elliot to take "the safest flights" to come see him, and appearing to always have his victims in mind. (In an "altruistic" way, of course.)

And of course with this book a prominent journalist has a sort of "In Cold Blood", new, exciting release and a murderer had some more free time while being in prison. Both parties benefited.

This tries to be "Dead Man Walking" but it isn't. I am an opponent of the death penalty and realize that prisoners need advocates, even the most repugnant ones. I just don't think that's what was going on here.

This could be a good textbook for an Abnormal Psych class.

[Brigid Keely · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The Man in the Monster: An Intimate Portrait of a Serial Killer," by Martha Elliott, is not like other books about serial killers I've read. Most books about serial killers, at least the ones I've read, are breathy sensational accounts with lurid attention to gory detail. They're fast paced and voyeuristic, almost pornographic. They take delight in recounting the horrific details and speculating as to what awful parts of the killers' pasts caused them to do what they did.

"The Man in the Monster" spends a bit of time dwelling on Ross' abusive family life and upbringing, mentions the lesions in his brain and the hormone therapy that he claims got his "monster" under control (although the author, who communicated with him for ten years and came to consider him a friend, still noted that he was narcissistic and manipulative) but the primary focus of the book is on capital punishment and whether it has a place in our society.

Elliot points out that capital punishment is emotionally stressful for the prisoners awaiting execution, and for the staff who have to arrange for the execution. She points out that an execution costs more than life in prison. She mentions that killing a criminal doesn't actually solve any problems for survivors, for their victims and the victims' family members. By introducing us to the human side of Ross, she has us recognize the fact that the state murdered a man as punishment for crimes he may not have been been able to prevent. Killing him doesn't bring the murdered girls back. Killing him doesn't ease the pain of their families. What does it accomplish?

It's a well written book. Slow moving at first, it gradually draws us into Elliott's life and motivations and her discussions and correspondence with Ross. Elliot does a fantastic job humanizing him without excusing or forgiving him; she doesn't overlook his flaws or the horrible things he's done. It's a nice balance of "this man did monstrous things" and "this man is still a man."

I wasn't sure I'd like this book at first. It's very different from the serial killer books I'm used to. It's much more mature, and much more thoughtful. It was an emotionally difficult read, in a good way, but I'm glad I read it.

[Jo Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have watched any of my Booktuber videos, then you know that I have a fascination with serial killers... FICTION killers mostly. However, I also read nonfiction of the same sort, with a desire to understand what brings this out in a person... What causes someone to kill repeatedly?? Because of this desire to see the real person, I am very much against the death penalty! This book made me even more sure that, in my opinion and mine alone, we have no right to take someone's life... The author tells this story with absolutely no attempt to gloss over the crimes committed by Michael Ross. (He raped and strangled 8 young women in the early 80s and was executed in 2005..) I knew the outcome before I read the book, yet I cried like a baby when this man was executed! This story gets to the part that we never see completely when someone is put on death row.. The small details that are no less important than the details given in the media.. I was heart broken, but I am so glad I read this story!

[Bill reilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Martha Elliott wrote a piece on serial killer Michael Ross and she became friends with him after he read her story. To learn more about the subject she read The Stranger Beside Me by Ann Rule; a good choice.
Ross grew up in rural Connecticut, working on the huge family egg farm. He learned how to kill chickens at the age of eight and his mother had a couple of stays at a mental institution. He also was beaten severely by his father.
For six years, he took Ritalin every day and stopped cold turkey after being accepted to Cornell. He was diagnosed as hyperactive and after the murders, court appointed psychiatrists agree that Mikey wad a sexual sadist.
At Cornell, Ross had normal relationships with women and impregnated one of them who had an abortion. They broke up and he began stalking students on campus but although filled with rape fantasies during the attacks, he ran off.
The attacks escalated to his first rape and murder as a senior at Cornell. The woman was thrown off of a bridge and due to decomposition of the body, ruled a suicide. He was able to describe the crime to Elliott while "cured" with Depo-Prevera. He spoke of an uncontrollable monster within, reminding me of Bundy's "entity".
Confessing to eight murders landed Ross on death row where he befriended a priest and became a "devout" Catholic, wishing to atone for his sins by refusing his lawyers appeals and requesting death by execution.
Elliott met with the mother and father of one of the victims and their lives were destroyed by the death of their daughter. They had no issues with the death penalty.
I put this book in the same category as Dead Man Walking, with both examining capital punishment. I highly recommend The Man in the Monster as a great read.

[Ruth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Many thanks to Penguin Group and Netgalley for the ARC. The first half of the book didn't annoy me nearly as much as the second half did. What bothers me is not the writing, which is decent, but the unreliable voice of the narrator and how this unreliability shapes the narrative. What makes Ms. Elliot's voice seem unreliable is that nowhere in this book does she acknowledge the possibility that someone diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder could possibly be using her or manipulating her emotions for his own ends. I never did buy in to her belief that there are to Michaels--the man and the monster--and therefore in not in sympathy with many of her other conclusions.

[Emmy · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the book is about a serial killer who killed eight women in a short span of time, the book does not give the victims the same amount of research and detail it gives to the convicted murderer.
I did not find the account impartial. True, the author expressed her horror at the crimes, but went into great effort to show how the murderer is in fact a victim himself. I do not totally agree with her point of view, since many people had terrible childhoods and some were even abused still they did not become serial killers. I'm understand mitigating circumstances, but I would consider them in considering the punishment and not a way to absolve the perpetrator of a crime.
The book is also repetitive. Some chapters do not present any new information, just another meeting or another conversation repeating earlier ideas.
What spoiled it for me is feeling that I'm not getting a full or even a fair account. Sometimes it felt that the author is trying too hard to "convert" me to her opinion.

[Anne Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I initially wanted to give this book a 3-star rating because I felt that the author had an anti-death penalty agenda (and she does.) However, having written a similar book about a serial killer that I got to know, I have other insights to offer. The author was deeply troubled by the matter- and she no doubt continues to be troubled to this day. That counts for something. She had the courage to face evil and the perplexing and disturbing question of the mystery head on. She is a very good writer. It is a page-turning story. So yes, while we can read this book and bring our own opinions to it- political, moral, and otherwise... you cannot discount the fact that Martha Elliot wrote from the heart, and did it quite eloquently. Give credit where credit is due.

[Izrael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book through NetGalley from Penguin Group for an honest feedback.

Martha, the author, had written the book exceptionally well for the readers to be engrossed when reading. The book is not only compelling and intresting but presented in a way that allows me to be submerged whenever I opened it. The psychological explanation that she decoded from different psychatrist and doctors to explain what sexual sadism is made me understand it much better.

Martha intresting relationship with the serial killer, Micheal Ross, had evolved from the first time she was in contact with him. Initially, she was afraid of him because she was reminded of the terror he had induced on the families of the girls he had killed. The 8 girls whom he had murdered and 7 of those he raped was at the back of Martha’s mind whenever she interacted with him. But, their relationship evolved from being aquantices to good friends which involved weekly calls from Micheal. Martha had not only reminded me of the terror Micheal each time but also she had made me see the human being in him. By the end of the book, I was able to see how much he was struggling to gain control of the monster but he wanted forgiveness for all the sins he done which is doubtful to get from the family.

However, it’s particularly disturbing for me to read the details of the murder Michael Ross committed. The precised image of the process he made the girls did before killing them was creepy. At times, it made me freaked as I felt that I was there watching him doing all of these unthinkable acts and I was not able to do anything. These made me feared him and I felt that most readers would not be able to withstand reading the murders that will give them the graphics of how the monster did his bidding.

Overall, I had to do many different readings to understand the psychological factor that was presented. It taken me a month to complete the book to have a better comprehension of Michael Ross. The flow of the book is well-thought and the evolution of the relationship between Martha and Michael was unexpected. I would recommend this book to a psychology student as they would be able to understand the mental illness that he had.

View more of my bookreviews at: https://alimuhdmusic.wordpress.com/

[Sandie · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the early 1980's, Michael Ross stalked, raped and killed eight women in Connecticut. In 2005, he was put to death by lethal injection, the last person to be executed in that state. In between, for the last ten years of his life, journalist Martha Elliott interviewed him through weekly phone calls, letters and in person to determine what made this man do these horrible acts.

Ross was an intelligent person who graduated college and seemed ready to have a successful career. Instead, his compulsions led him to stalk and kill women as his personal life imploded. His childhood was a bleak one, with a mother who was a monster herself and emotionally abused him. It left him unable to have a sustaining personal relationship and his mental illness led him into a compulsion to control and punish women he didn't know.

Ross was in jail for more than two decades. He asked for the death penalty to be carried out, and Elliott was curious why he would do that. Once in prison, he had received medication that controlled his mental compulsions and he felt free from the monster that he felt co-inhabited his body with the 'true' Michael. He felt that his death was the only thing he could offer the families of his victims, but Elliott wondered if it also wasn't a suicide using the state as a vehicle. She interviewed not only Ross but those victim families who would talk to her. Over the years she found herself in a friendship with this tormented man who had brought pain to everyone he knew.

Ross is a journalist who worked on newspapers for many years. She also ran a newspaper and taught at both the university and high school level. She was curious as to what made a man into someone who could do such horrible things and after years of work, discovered the man in the monster. This book is recommended for readers of true crime and those interested in the inner workings of the mind.

[Mary Jo · Rating 2 out of 5]

My positive thoughts on this book:

1. It's well-written, and I appreciate how the narrative flows.
2. It tackles a tough subject with tact and respect, in some ways.
3. I understand and respect that these stories need to be told. It's important to try to understand why people commit the crimes they do, and how early experiences can wire someone to commit heinous acts. It's not an easy undertaking, and in the style of In Cold Blood, or even Dead Man Walking, there are multiple voices that need to be heard in these situations, and I appreciate the journalists, investigators, and writers who are brave enough to share them.

Now, what I took issue with:

1. As much as this is a biography of Michael Ross and his life/crimes, it's also a story of Martha Elliott and the TEN YEARS she spent with him.
2. My opinion is, I don't feel Elliott looks at herself honestly in determining her reasons for why she gave ten years of her life to this person.
3. I feel she was duped, and had been played by a manipulative, sociopathic man.
4. Out of his muder victims, only THREE were over the age of eighteen. Yet, she refers to his victims as women. I had a problem with this right from the start. These were not women, they were children. Girls.

Much like Sarah Koenig, in season 1 of Serial, had to determine how to receive and process the information that Adnan gave her. She remained skeptical, but was also able to view his situation with clarity and an objective eye. I feel like she was much more readily able to admit that Adnan was playing her and manipulating Koenig's audience. With Elliott, I think she genuinely believes that Ross is sorry. And maybe I'm way off base here, but I just can't help but feel that the author was seduced into giving this man so much time and essentially, credit and redemption.

[Jlsimon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is one that takes a different approach to crime investigative writing. Ms. Elliott spent over 10 years getting to know Michael Ross. He became her friend, and as a result her writing was not unbiased. She empathized with the him. She truly learned to relate more to him than to his victims.

Things that I found interesting in this book is that you can see shadows of Ann Rule's "The Stranger Beside Me" in this story. Like Ann, Ms. Elliott tried to show the truth of the case. Another famous serial that came to the mind during this read was, Dennis Radar aka BTK. The reason this book comes to mind is because like Radar, Elliott saw his inner drive as being a separate entity. Radar referred to this dark part of himself as "Factor X" or "Rex." Ross called it, "The Monster Inside Him." In the end both wanted to express that they were not responsible for their actions, it was the sexual sadism that was a mental illness that was to blame.

Legally insane does not cover all mental illness. I disagree with the author completely that this is a valid defense for his crimes. Mental illness such as schizophrenia might be a mitigating factor, but in my opinion sexual sadism does not qualify. All he ever had to do was go ask for help. The author's pity for this killer is a depressing look into the mind of a woman who becomes a serial killer groupie. What would have been more appropriate would have been a tribute to the women he killed, rather than a tribute to the man that purported the crimes.

[Marjorie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m sure this non-fiction book was a very personal and difficult one for the author to write. She befriended a serial killer and seeks to expose the man inside the monster. I’m not at all sure she accomplished that. It was very hard to determine whether anything this killer said or did was the truth or whether he was manipulating others, including the author. By the end of the book, I had little sympathy for this man.

The main debate in the book is whether a killer who is mentally ill should be executed and whether a sex sadist should be considered mentally ill. I don’t believe the author brought anything new to the debate. It’s a very difficult question and one that’s hard to pin down any answers. One of the victims’ father said that he didn’t believe Michael Ross was mentally ill and incapable of making choices as he was able to control his murderous impulses at times. But I don’t think anyone is ever going to be able to fully understand the mind of a killer, even one who was interviewed for as many years as this one was.

The author is a very good writer and does present both sides of the story, even while making it obvious which side she is on. It was an interesting read, but personally, I didn’t believe much of the killer’s reasonings or excuses as to why he became what he did.

This book was given to me by First to Read in exchange for my honest review.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an advanced e-galley of this book through the Penguin Books First to Read Program. I did not know anything about Michael Ross before receiving this book, but I found his story very fascinating. Martha Elliott spent 10 years corresponding and meeting with Michael to learn why, after receiving a reprieve from the Connecticutt State Supreme Court, why he would voluntarily choose to be put to death for his heinous crimes. Her research and investigation into the history about the murders, the trials and Michael himself was very thorough and eye opening. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys true crime novels and stories about the legal system, serial killers and/or the death penalty in the United States. The book will be released nationwide by Penguin Books in August. I did not receive any compensation for writing a review and the book was available for reading for a period of 41 days, after that I will no longer be able to access the e-galley.

[Erin Weigel · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're interested in abnormal psychology, neurology, or capital punishment and the judicial system, this book is a really quick and interesting read. Elliott's way of writing is engaging, personal, yet also interestingly objective considering her profession as a journalist.

I think the main overarching theme of this book is that things are never black and white. Our simplistic human brains like to categorize things and people into "good" / "bad" generalizations, but there are often so many things at play it's hard to ever really know all of the complexities that go into compelling humans to horrific acts of aggression and violence.

It kind of reminded me of some of the points that Hannah Arend made about the nature of "evil". In any case, the story gives you many perspectives into the story of both the victims of the serial killer (including the aftermath thrust upon the families), victim blaming, and the serial killer themselves. How utterly tragic.

[Gypsy36]

I had a had time with this book. It is well written and readable but I felt a tad duped by the end. I think people need to know at the beginning that the author's relationship with this death row inmate becomes very complicated. By the end, reading between the lines and her recollection of their last moments together suggests that this was more than just a friendship for this author. She spent incredible amounts of money, gave up such significant time and her children were exposed to the realities of a very difficult and complex situation far too young in my book. I am not a proponent of the death penalty and I was very interested in the advertised perspective of this book but, what I ended up getting was completely unsettling.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this Bol would be more about the killer but I became absorbed in why the author became so obsessed with him. It was fascinating and eerie all at the same time.

[Sheng · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are many books out there about true crime stories and serial killers. There aren't many like The Man in the Monster: An Intimate Portrait of a Serial Killer though where the author herself corresponds directly with the serial killer, forming a strangely genuine friendship as a result.

Michael Ross is the serial killer in question in this book. Convicted of multiple sexual assaults and eight murders, Ross was sentenced to jail but his punishment was subsequently changed to life imprisonment due to mental illness. Ross always claimed there was a 'monster' inside of him that took over when he lived out his violent sexual fantasies and as a result, was diagnosed by multiple psychiatrists of sexual sadism. In order to repent for the monster's actions and to spare his victims' families of the turmoil of enduring a long trial, Ross requests for a death penalty and thus attracts the initial attention of journalist and author Martha Elliot.

Michael Ross' life story mirrors those of many other serial killers. Childhood abuse by his mother slowly built up violent tendencies in him and a slow escalation of violent and sexual behaviours led him to stalk, rape and murder his victims. His actions often followed a ritualistic sequence that seemed to be a kind of reenacted punishment for the women of his life that did him wrong. Through both Ross' first-hand accounts and other sources, Elliott pieces together Ross' crime spree and how he carried out both his rapes and murders.

The part of this book that shines is perhaps Elliott's own relationship with Ross and her interviews with both Ross and his victim's families. Elliott herself admitted that it took her an extremely long time to come to the terms that she had indeed become friends with a man who was responsible for some incredibly repulsive crimes. What I appreciated from Elliott's interviews though was that she was never standoff-ish in her conversations with Ross but she always called him out when she felt that he was being unreasonable or ridiculous by painting a pitiful figure of himself or trying to draw sympathy. Still, she formed a genuine friendship with Ross after ten years of interactions and when his wish was fulfilled, she mourned for his death. Elliott also handled interviews with the victims' families well, being both respectful and trying to be reasonable in her depiction of Ross but never defending his actions.

Overall, this book was pretty insightful in portraying the complete man behind a serial killer, not just his crimes but the rest of his personality as well. While it still sort of follows a standard formula for serial killer books, there was some highlights in the form of Elliott's relationship with Ross. 3.5/5

[Alex Jones · Rating 1 out of 5]

Martha Elliot is stupid in the way that only very educated people can be.

The thesis of this book is that Michael Ross, Connecticut’s most well-known rapist and serial killer, should not have been given the death penalty.

Why? Because he was mentally ill.

And what was his mental illness, you may ask?

Sexual sadism, which is when you take pleasure in raping, degrading, and killing women.

Elliot repeats over and over how this supposed mental illness “caused” Ross to kill because he was an “automaton” who had “no control” over his actions.

Where to begin with this?

Well, let’s agree—for a moment—with the absurd and detestable idea that serial killers and rapists have no control over their actions. The logical next question is this: How does a man being unable to control the urge to rape and kill make it less reasonable to execute him?

Rabid dogs don’t control their urges, either, but the state still puts them down.

In what world does Michael Ross deserve to be treated better than a rabid dog?

The dog didn’t know any better. Michael Ross did.

Ross is an Ivy-League-educated man who knows the difference between right and wrong. Yet Martha Elliot insists on babying him. Over and over again, she repeats his lies and encourages the reader to feel sorry for him. He was beaten by his dad. His mom was very mean and made him put down his blind dog. Poor, poor Michael Ross.

Except, plenty of people have awful childhoods and do not use their experiences as excuses to rape and murder. Shockingly enough, it turns out that human beings can own up to responsibility for their own actions.

It may sound like I am exaggerating how much Martha Elliot excuses Michael Ross’s behaviors. I am not.

She repeats how Ross had “no control” over the rapes and murders on practically every page of her book (53, 58, 141, 147). She claims that the hormone replacement therapy Ross received in prison cured his sexual sadism… even as he sends her letters fantasizing about raping lonely, defenseless, and vulnerable women to death.

But let me provide a more specific example of Martha Elliot’s revolting excuse-making:

There is a section in the book about how Michael treated his college girlfriend, Betsy. Michael grew to resent Betsy because she didn’t want to move back to Michael’s hometown to tend his family farm. So, what did he do? He beat her savagely. He “demanded sex,” and when she would refuse, “he would force sex on her” as a “way of punishing her.” A way “to hurt” and “degrade a woman” by reminding her of a rape she experienced earlier in life.

And how does Elliot finish off this section of her book? With this sentence:

“[Michael Ross] depended on [Betsy] and needed her, yet she was making him miserable” (120).

That’s right, she was making him miserable. Because she didn’t want to be a farm-wife. You got that? Nothing the rapist does is really the rapist’s fault. He’s just “mentally ill,” you know?

The idea that the “mental illness” of sexual sadism lessens the severity of rape and murder is absurd, and it leads Martha Elliot to commit herself to worse absurdities as the book goes on. At one point (134), Elliot becomes worried when she discovers that Michael Ross might not have raped 14-year-old Leslie Shelley before he strangled her to death.

Why? Why the hell would it be troubling to imagine that a little girl was NOT raped before she was strangled to death?

Well, if Michael did not rape her, then the murder was not motivated by sexual sadism, Michael’s “mental illness.”

In other words, Elliot’s defense of poor old Mikey Ross would be better off if he HAD raped the child—because that would make him look more sexually sadistic, and being sexually sadistic means you don’t control your own actions… apparently.

To call this logic stupid or grotesque would be an understatement.

Throughout the book, Martha Elliot waxes poetic about how “barbaric” the death penalty is, and at one point, she notes out how executioners traditionally put a hood over the criminal’s face before killing them. That’s because, as Elliot puts it, “No one wants to see the panic in the face of the condemned or the gruesome, distorted face of the corpse” (33).

No one? Really? I can think of at least one person who likes to see the twisted, pained faces of vulnerable people as they suffer and die. Can you guess who it is?

But this fact—that people like Michael Ross feel joy when they see fear in the eyes of women and children being raped, strangled, and humiliated—does not matter to Ms. Elliot.

She admits throughout the book that, given the opportunity, Ross would have raped and strangled her or her daughters and enjoyed doing it. And yet, what’s truly “barbaric” to Martha Elliot is eliminating people like Michael Ross from our society.

Elliot’s children, by the way, are who the book is dedicated to. “For my children,” the dedication says.

Then there’s a space.

Then… “And for the eight women whose lives were so tragically cut short.”

She could not even be bothered to list those poor and vulnerable girls’ names on the dedication page. The victims—both figuratively and literally—always come second to Ms. Elliot.

Perhaps Martha Elliot should reevaluate who she extends her sympathy to, and who in our society deserves protection from evil and barbarism.

[Nerfzilla · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an extremely difficult book for me to review. It is a book that tries to understand another human being. It tries to understand a number of things about Michael Ross. A man from Connecticut who despite growing up in a terribly sick and dysfunctional poor family, was accepted to and attended Cornell University School of Agriculture, eventually graduating with a degree. A man who shortly before he graduated began stalking women, terrifying them, and ultimately raping and murdering eight women and girls. Arrested and convicted, he became a devout Roman Catholic in prison, and decided to by choice give up all his appeals and be executed as a way to ask for forgiveness and to decrease the suffering of the families and friends of his victims. The author, a lawyer and an editor of a law magazine, wanted to understand Michael Ross, and as much as any one human being can understand another I believe she did. I think this book is admirable and written with every effort made to avoid sensationalizing Mr. Ross’s crimes or being overly sympathetic to him. She was deeply honest with him and with herself and I think the book really shines with her efforts. However, I think, ultimately it is not possible to really know another person’s mind in such a way as to be able to imagine his choices and if the decisions he made even were choices, and so, in the end, the book was bound to fail. Am I sorry I read this book? No. Not at all. Was it entertaining? Not really, but it was interesting and it did give me things to think about. The death penalty is a very tricky concept and I struggle with my feelings about it and to be honest, this book didn’t really add too much to my thoughts because Michael Ross was an individual as everyone is, and whilst I believe he should not have been executed, it has not made me necessarily feel that way about all killers. Would I recommend this book? Honestly, I don’t know. I just think the answers this book sought may not exist.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Martha, a young journalist, is writing for a local news outlet. She was working on a piece about a killer who stalked, raped and strangled young women in CT in the 1980's. This piece turns into this book. Through a mutual friend she not only interviews the killer but continues to correspond with him over a period of over ten years - only ceasing communication upon his death by execution. The Man in the Monster starts at the beginning - filling in the bits and pieces of Michael Ross's background and his motivations to kill. While interesting and well researched, I found this section, about his past, to be very repetitive. It became clear after a few examples that he had a deep hatred of women and why and detailing every incident felt unnecessary for the reader to grasp the full picture. That being said, I believe the reason for it is that she was given information from Ross piecemeal so after putting the jigsaw puzzle together and having a fairly accurate timeline it was important to her narrative to share it in this manner. Her years of weekly (sometimes daily) chats endeared her to Ross in a way she never thought possible. His choice to be put to death without appealing was very upsetting to her and she fought for him to fight for himself to the the bitter end. This was such an interesting angle on the "true crime" genre because the killer has been caught, no one is in immediate danger, and the author becomes literal friends with the guy. Whether you agree or disagree about her tactics and involvement you cannot deny the intrigue. If you are a true crime buff (or casual reader looking for a new twist) this is certainly a MUST read.

[Monica Willyard Moen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was emotionally painful to read. It was well written, and it is to the author’s credit that I finished the book feeling emotionally confused, torn, and divided. I wanted to hate the criminal, the subject of this book. I wanted to think of him as a despicable animal with no remorse or self control.
Instead, I met a man who had been those things but who was also a sinner seeking forgiveness from God primarily and to some extent from the families of his victims. He attempted to hasten his execution to spare the families the hard ache and multiple hearings and a long, drawn out court battle. He freely acknowledged his guilt and attempted to take responsibility for his crimes. I couldn’t hate him because when it came right down to it, he was like me, a person who had send against God and who needed forgiveness. His crimes were horrific according to human standards. My crimes are horrific according to God‘s standard. I didn’t have any room to condemn this man, only to desire that he be kept apart from anyone who might be a potential victim. Please understand I am not saying I think he should have been set free from prison. I don’t think that at all. I am dealing with sin, his and mine. These thoughts are unsettling, very uncomfortable to process and feel. At the end, all I can say is may God have mercy on his soul. More than that, may God have mercy and give peace to the family members of the young women who were killed. May they find God’s peace in a way that is significant to them.

[Robert P. Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful book, I did not expect it to be as good as it turned out to be.

The author does an excellent job of showing how someone can become friends with a serial killer. The author does an excellent job of showing the pain and suffering the victims went through and the families went through.

The author is opposed to the death penalty but she never lectures the reader and she is quite understanding of the feelings of the families. If her account is truthful, and I have no reason to doubt that it is not truthful, she was able to have some honest and painful conversations with the family members and with the killer.

My only two critical remarks. It is clear that most psychologists have no foundation for the things they say. It is embarrassing that this field remains so weak. It is also a slippery slope when the state wants to have a death penalty but then not execute people who are mentally ill. I agree with the author that the correct position is to oppose the death penalty for all people and not have these ridiculous court hearings where people who are little more than charlatans have the power to determine if someone lives or dies.

My second critical remark is that real life serial killers are much less interesting and much less criminally talented than the serial killers in fiction.