What do you think?
Rate this book
Losing It
Julia Greenfield has a problem: she's twenty-six years old and she's still a virgin. Sex ought to be easy. People have it all the time! But, without meaning to, she made it through college and into adulthood with her virginity intact. Something's got to change.
To re-route herself from her stalled life, Julia travels to spend the summer with her mysterious aunt Vivienne in North Carolina. It's not long, however, before she unearths a confounding secret—her 58 year old aunt is a virgin too. In the unrelenting heat of the southern summer, Julia becomes fixated on puzzling out what could have lead to Viv's appalling condition, all while trying to avoid the same fate.
To re-route herself from her stalled life, Julia travels to spend the summer with her mysterious aunt Vivienne in North Carolina. It's not long, however, before she unearths a confounding secret—her 58 year old aunt is a virgin too. In the unrelenting heat of the southern summer, Julia becomes fixated on puzzling out what could have lead to Viv's appalling condition, all while trying to avoid the same fate.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published July 19, 2016
125 people are currently reading
5868 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 449 reviews
October 30, 2018
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
Meet Julia . . . .
Okay, maybe not. But she is 26 years old and has never done the deed. When she was a teenager, it was because she had certain ideals and expectations . . . .
By the time she got to college, her attitude was a little different . . . .
But now that she’s on the downhill slide toward 30 with V-card still firmly in place????
Nearly EVERY dude she comes into contact with is a possible contender. The only problem????
Julia kinda has a hard time sealing the deal and not talking herself out of it when opportunities arise. Spending the summer with her spinster aunt in Durham, Julia has a whole new approach to things . . . .
“Scrolling through the stock pictures on the tourism part of the website, I saw one of a man and woman laughing at a candlelit dinner. Another showed a couple wearing bright T-shirts and lounging in each other’s arms and staring at a hot-air balloon in the sky. I thought, This is where I’m going to lose my virginity. It would be like going to another country; I would be completely anonymous.”
And now Imma let the blurb do some of the talking . . .
“For readers of Rainbow Rowell …”
Wait, what? Okay, not really. I think they’re trying to hook lovers of Attachments, but since that is Rowell’s lesser-known story this would probably backfire horribly and wind up horrifying a bunch of Eleanor & Park fans instead.
“… and Maria Semple”
Okay, that’s more like it. Just be forewarned that it’s less of the sheer brilliance that made up Where’d You Go, Bernadette and more of the Today Will Be Different or This One Is Mine vibe/humor.
It truly is “filled with offbeat characters and subtle, wry humor ... is about the primal fear that you just. might. never. meet. anyone. It's about desiring something with the kind of obsessive fervor that almost guarantees you won't get it. It's about the blurry lines between sex and love, and trying to figure out which one you're going for. And it's about the decisions—and non-decisions—we make that can end up shaping a life.”
With the focus on a pretty stereotypical millennial who MANY will find extremely hard to like. I appreciated her irreverent wit, however, so maybe you will too????
P.S. If anyone would like to hire me for an “if you liked this, then you might LOVE this” kind of job, I’m super available and obviously I will name-drop a shit-ton of books in one place : )
Meet Julia . . . .
Okay, maybe not. But she is 26 years old and has never done the deed. When she was a teenager, it was because she had certain ideals and expectations . . . .
By the time she got to college, her attitude was a little different . . . .
But now that she’s on the downhill slide toward 30 with V-card still firmly in place????
Nearly EVERY dude she comes into contact with is a possible contender. The only problem????
Julia kinda has a hard time sealing the deal and not talking herself out of it when opportunities arise. Spending the summer with her spinster aunt in Durham, Julia has a whole new approach to things . . . .
“Scrolling through the stock pictures on the tourism part of the website, I saw one of a man and woman laughing at a candlelit dinner. Another showed a couple wearing bright T-shirts and lounging in each other’s arms and staring at a hot-air balloon in the sky. I thought, This is where I’m going to lose my virginity. It would be like going to another country; I would be completely anonymous.”
And now Imma let the blurb do some of the talking . . .
“For readers of Rainbow Rowell …”
Wait, what? Okay, not really. I think they’re trying to hook lovers of Attachments, but since that is Rowell’s lesser-known story this would probably backfire horribly and wind up horrifying a bunch of Eleanor & Park fans instead.
“… and Maria Semple”
Okay, that’s more like it. Just be forewarned that it’s less of the sheer brilliance that made up Where’d You Go, Bernadette and more of the Today Will Be Different or This One Is Mine vibe/humor.
It truly is “filled with offbeat characters and subtle, wry humor ... is about the primal fear that you just. might. never. meet. anyone. It's about desiring something with the kind of obsessive fervor that almost guarantees you won't get it. It's about the blurry lines between sex and love, and trying to figure out which one you're going for. And it's about the decisions—and non-decisions—we make that can end up shaping a life.”
With the focus on a pretty stereotypical millennial who MANY will find extremely hard to like. I appreciated her irreverent wit, however, so maybe you will too????
P.S. If anyone would like to hire me for an “if you liked this, then you might LOVE this” kind of job, I’m super available and obviously I will name-drop a shit-ton of books in one place : )
September 11, 2016
I found this little gem reading the NYTimes book reviews and it sounded like a fun quick side-trip as I was reading a much heavier book.
Julia, a 26 year old intelligent, funny, cute girl wants to lose her virginity. To me, a male reader, it doesn't sound like much of a difficult thing to do and yet, as Julia explains her situation and her past life in college which was devoted to swimming, it all starts to make a lot of sense. Her descriptions of some of her online dates were incredibly cringeworthy and funny and all too real.
If Julia has a problem it's that she's too smart, too self conscious and certainly not ready to do something foolish, although she toys with a couple of foolish situations here and there in the story.
The book is chock full of life's little oddities and human emotions and I found it refreshingly smart and fun to read.
Go walk around in Julia's shoes with her for a few days. I think you'll enjoy it like I did.
Julia, a 26 year old intelligent, funny, cute girl wants to lose her virginity. To me, a male reader, it doesn't sound like much of a difficult thing to do and yet, as Julia explains her situation and her past life in college which was devoted to swimming, it all starts to make a lot of sense. Her descriptions of some of her online dates were incredibly cringeworthy and funny and all too real.
If Julia has a problem it's that she's too smart, too self conscious and certainly not ready to do something foolish, although she toys with a couple of foolish situations here and there in the story.
The book is chock full of life's little oddities and human emotions and I found it refreshingly smart and fun to read.
Go walk around in Julia's shoes with her for a few days. I think you'll enjoy it like I did.
July 24, 2016
Unfortunately, I was really disappointed by this book. I actually read a lot of buzz about it before purchasing and I was really excited to have an easy summer read. But yeah...this just didn't do it for me. Not only did the plot go nowhere, but the main character was pretty unlikeable. And not the kind of unlikeable that keeps you engaged, but just the right amount of annoying to make you shake your head at her inner thoughts and behavior all the way through.
I haven't read anything else by this author, so maybe this is just a bad seed. Either way, I didn't get very much out of this one.
P.S. It's also not sexy....at all. If that's your thing, go elsewhere.
I haven't read anything else by this author, so maybe this is just a bad seed. Either way, I didn't get very much out of this one.
P.S. It's also not sexy....at all. If that's your thing, go elsewhere.
July 28, 2016
I picked this book up on a recommendation from a podcast that I generally have great success with, but I was so disappointed. First, the protagonist was totally awful, but not in an interesting way - she is one-dimensional and unlikeable in a way that isn't just annoying, it's predictable and boring. A secondary character, 58 year old fellow virgin Aunt Viv is given NONE of the time that she deserves, and I think she could have been the one thing that saved this book. Unfortunately, she just wasn't given any importance. At one point, I thought the book was headed in an interesting direction (conflict between Viv & Julia), but it just never went there.
I was also really frustrated by the setting - Julia spends the summer in Durham, NC, and unfortunately it's pretty evident that Rathbone's understanding of the Durham or North Carolina or just the South in general is essentially non-existent. Everyone's windows are open to a nice breeze all summer (LOL), and people are either not from there, or they're simple in a way that makes me think Rathbone has based her entire understanding of the South on Steel Magnolias.
I wish this had lived up to the hype!
I was also really frustrated by the setting - Julia spends the summer in Durham, NC, and unfortunately it's pretty evident that Rathbone's understanding of the Durham or North Carolina or just the South in general is essentially non-existent. Everyone's windows are open to a nice breeze all summer (LOL), and people are either not from there, or they're simple in a way that makes me think Rathbone has based her entire understanding of the South on Steel Magnolias.
I wish this had lived up to the hype!
February 22, 2017
I enjoy the process of going to the book shop and picking up something off the shelf that I have never heard of and giving it a go. I find that otherwise it is easy to get caught in the goat track of just buying popular books, and then consequently reading less diversely. I tend not to look at Goodreads when I am doing this as I don't want my opinion of the book to be tainted by what other people have thought of it. But, just this once, I really wish that I had looked at Goodreads as there is a good reason, many good reasons, why this book has the lowest rating that I have ever seen. And that simply is because it is terrible.
So strap your self in, hold on tight, this is going to be one rant of a review. Yes it will contain spoilers, and unlike any other review that I have ever written that contains spoilers, they won't be mild. And I make no apology for spoiling you. As far as I am concerned I am doing you a favour telling you what happens in this book so you never feel the need to pick it up. You're welcome.
Who ever they hired to write the blurb on this book did a really good job. It's completely misleading and makes you think that this is a fun book about a women stepping out of her comfort zone and experiencing fun and exciting new things because of it. I'll save you the trouble, it's not about that. This story is about 26 year old Julia, who, apparently shockingly, is still a virgin. I know it is intended that this is shocking, but I'm sorry, I just don't think that 26 year old virgins are as rare as the author is making out. People choose to wait till they are married, people focus on their careers instead of hooking up with randoms at bars, people study to be doctors, lawyers, and vets for the better part of a decade, people are religious. I'm pretty sure that virgins in their middle to late 20s are not as rare as this author seems to think they are. But putting that aside, this entire book is about Julia whinging that she is a virgin and trying to find a man, any man, who will resolve that for her.
As for the whole going out and trying new things and being adventurous thing, that doesn't happen either. Julia is bored in her office job in the city, and not getting laid of course, so she decides to move back home to Texas with her Mum and Dad (seriously how can a man resist that). But Mum and Dad are out being adventurous, unlike Julia, and going on an extended holiday. So instead Julia ends up living with an estranged aunt. She then goes on to treat her aunt, who is letting her live in her house for free, like absolute rubbish.
Julia treats her aunt like a maid. She makes her clean up after her, she eats her food, trashes the furniture in her house and invades her privacy by breaking into her private studio and bedroom to snoop around. But, this is not the worst things that she does to her poor aunt. At one point in the story her aunts friend of a long time passes away, so how does Julia act? A normal person might console her aunt, might help out at the wake passing around drinks, or maybe make a casserole. But all of that would be far too nice for Julia. She decides it is a good idea to get drunk at the wake and try and loose her virginity to the 21 year old son of her aunts dead friend. What a charmer, what a lovely women.
But believe it or not this is not the worse thing that Julia does to her poor aunt. Her aunts hobby is painting plates. At one point in the story her aunt is given the opportunity to sell those plates to a dealer. All she asks Julia to do is drop them off at the expedition so she can show them to the dealer. Not a massive ask for someone who is living in your house for free I would think. But, as if all of the shitty things that Julia has done to her aunt so far aren't bad enough, she deliberately decides to be late because she wants to meet up with a man and, you guessed it, try and lose her virginity. After not managing to do so, for the umpteenth time in this book, she then gets into a car accident, smashing all of her aunts plates, because she runs a red light because she is texting a MARRIED man, asking him to have sex with her! Just to top this all off when Julia finally sees her aunt she lies to her about where she was and how she broke all of her hard work and ruined her opportunity to make any money out of it, and also can't understand why her aunt is mad at her!
Essentially there is a very simple reason as to why Julia is a virgin. Because she is a personality-less bitch. She wonders why conversations don't flow with people when 95% of her responses are "Okay". She is selfish, doing what ever she likes to who ever she wants as long she she feels that she can gain something from it, even if she hurts everyone around her in her wake. She is so obsessed with sex that she can't meet a women without day dreaming about how she has sex, or meet a man without imagining what it is like to have sex with him. She has no interests, no personality, and no redeeming features. Whats more is that I think it is the intention of the author that we feel sorry for her. I'll summarize, I don't.
When the plot of a book is bad, and the characters of a book are bad, you have to hope that the writing is good. But, unfortunately that is not the case in "Losing It" either. The dialog is completely unbelievable. As I mentioned most of Julia's responses are "Okay" and some how this total lack of anything interesting to say will make a man she is talking to continue with the conversation. The conversations are stilted and weird to read, with strange actions shoved haphazard in the middle of them, such as "I put my hand in my wet armpit", what?? What??? We don't need to know that! The flow of the story is also confusing. When Julia quits her job at the start and starts talking about moving back to Texas, I thought that she was reflecting on something she had done in the past and we were going to go back to her life at the office, but no. I made this mistake because the plot in constantly hopping between the present and the past with no clear distinction between the two as the chapters ramble of for pages and pages.
The biggest redeeming feature of this book is that at least it is short, as I don't think I could endure much more of its flat, annoying characters, mind numbing plot, and terrible writing.
So strap your self in, hold on tight, this is going to be one rant of a review. Yes it will contain spoilers, and unlike any other review that I have ever written that contains spoilers, they won't be mild. And I make no apology for spoiling you. As far as I am concerned I am doing you a favour telling you what happens in this book so you never feel the need to pick it up. You're welcome.
Who ever they hired to write the blurb on this book did a really good job. It's completely misleading and makes you think that this is a fun book about a women stepping out of her comfort zone and experiencing fun and exciting new things because of it. I'll save you the trouble, it's not about that. This story is about 26 year old Julia, who, apparently shockingly, is still a virgin. I know it is intended that this is shocking, but I'm sorry, I just don't think that 26 year old virgins are as rare as the author is making out. People choose to wait till they are married, people focus on their careers instead of hooking up with randoms at bars, people study to be doctors, lawyers, and vets for the better part of a decade, people are religious. I'm pretty sure that virgins in their middle to late 20s are not as rare as this author seems to think they are. But putting that aside, this entire book is about Julia whinging that she is a virgin and trying to find a man, any man, who will resolve that for her.
As for the whole going out and trying new things and being adventurous thing, that doesn't happen either. Julia is bored in her office job in the city, and not getting laid of course, so she decides to move back home to Texas with her Mum and Dad (seriously how can a man resist that). But Mum and Dad are out being adventurous, unlike Julia, and going on an extended holiday. So instead Julia ends up living with an estranged aunt. She then goes on to treat her aunt, who is letting her live in her house for free, like absolute rubbish.
Julia treats her aunt like a maid. She makes her clean up after her, she eats her food, trashes the furniture in her house and invades her privacy by breaking into her private studio and bedroom to snoop around. But, this is not the worst things that she does to her poor aunt. At one point in the story her aunts friend of a long time passes away, so how does Julia act? A normal person might console her aunt, might help out at the wake passing around drinks, or maybe make a casserole. But all of that would be far too nice for Julia. She decides it is a good idea to get drunk at the wake and try and loose her virginity to the 21 year old son of her aunts dead friend. What a charmer, what a lovely women.
But believe it or not this is not the worse thing that Julia does to her poor aunt. Her aunts hobby is painting plates. At one point in the story her aunt is given the opportunity to sell those plates to a dealer. All she asks Julia to do is drop them off at the expedition so she can show them to the dealer. Not a massive ask for someone who is living in your house for free I would think. But, as if all of the shitty things that Julia has done to her aunt so far aren't bad enough, she deliberately decides to be late because she wants to meet up with a man and, you guessed it, try and lose her virginity. After not managing to do so, for the umpteenth time in this book, she then gets into a car accident, smashing all of her aunts plates, because she runs a red light because she is texting a MARRIED man, asking him to have sex with her! Just to top this all off when Julia finally sees her aunt she lies to her about where she was and how she broke all of her hard work and ruined her opportunity to make any money out of it, and also can't understand why her aunt is mad at her!
Essentially there is a very simple reason as to why Julia is a virgin. Because she is a personality-less bitch. She wonders why conversations don't flow with people when 95% of her responses are "Okay". She is selfish, doing what ever she likes to who ever she wants as long she she feels that she can gain something from it, even if she hurts everyone around her in her wake. She is so obsessed with sex that she can't meet a women without day dreaming about how she has sex, or meet a man without imagining what it is like to have sex with him. She has no interests, no personality, and no redeeming features. Whats more is that I think it is the intention of the author that we feel sorry for her. I'll summarize, I don't.
When the plot of a book is bad, and the characters of a book are bad, you have to hope that the writing is good. But, unfortunately that is not the case in "Losing It" either. The dialog is completely unbelievable. As I mentioned most of Julia's responses are "Okay" and some how this total lack of anything interesting to say will make a man she is talking to continue with the conversation. The conversations are stilted and weird to read, with strange actions shoved haphazard in the middle of them, such as "I put my hand in my wet armpit", what?? What??? We don't need to know that! The flow of the story is also confusing. When Julia quits her job at the start and starts talking about moving back to Texas, I thought that she was reflecting on something she had done in the past and we were going to go back to her life at the office, but no. I made this mistake because the plot in constantly hopping between the present and the past with no clear distinction between the two as the chapters ramble of for pages and pages.
The biggest redeeming feature of this book is that at least it is short, as I don't think I could endure much more of its flat, annoying characters, mind numbing plot, and terrible writing.
August 21, 2016
I reviewed this one for the SF Chronicle and really enjoyed it. You can read my review here:
http://www.sfgate.com/books/article/L...
I've mostly stopped rating books but I saw that this one has a low average rating and I felt I needed to correct those stats! Some readers find the narrator unlikable. Sure, she does some thoughtless, selfish stuff, but she is a nuanced and believable character. And she's really funny. I, for one, adored her!
http://www.sfgate.com/books/article/L...
I've mostly stopped rating books but I saw that this one has a low average rating and I felt I needed to correct those stats! Some readers find the narrator unlikable. Sure, she does some thoughtless, selfish stuff, but she is a nuanced and believable character. And she's really funny. I, for one, adored her!
December 12, 2016
This had a cute cover and an interesting premise and absolutely. nothing. else. going for it. It was excruciating. There were scenes that were, I think?, meant to convey humor but were so painfully unfunny and insipid. The same could be said for the main character.
September 3, 2016
Julia is the worst. She is self-centered and boring.
I really disliked seeing the world through her unpleasant interpretation. Maybe she was supposed to be awkward or vulnerable, but she just came across as mean.
And stupid...who DOES those kinds of things?
It's like the plan was to subvert chick lit by writing something that has its trappings (down to the cover) but is instead full of misery and boredom. "Hahaha reader, fooled you! And it serves you right for expecting a fun read."
Reviews on the back continue the charade: the mc is "lovably imperfect" (no...She is mean spirited and selfish); the book is "witty," "so funny," "wry," "funny" (NO. Nothing funny here at all).
I'm guessing these blurbs were dictated to the writers by a publicist. It's a shame, because it means the book is getting entirely the wrong audience. I mean, I know there is an audience out there for books about boring people living vaguely unhappy, meaningless lives. But those people aren't going to buy a book marketed like this one.
Hated it.
I really disliked seeing the world through her unpleasant interpretation. Maybe she was supposed to be awkward or vulnerable, but she just came across as mean.
And stupid...who DOES those kinds of things?
It's like the plan was to subvert chick lit by writing something that has its trappings (down to the cover) but is instead full of misery and boredom. "Hahaha reader, fooled you! And it serves you right for expecting a fun read."
Reviews on the back continue the charade: the mc is "lovably imperfect" (no...She is mean spirited and selfish); the book is "witty," "so funny," "wry," "funny" (NO. Nothing funny here at all).
I'm guessing these blurbs were dictated to the writers by a publicist. It's a shame, because it means the book is getting entirely the wrong audience. I mean, I know there is an audience out there for books about boring people living vaguely unhappy, meaningless lives. But those people aren't going to buy a book marketed like this one.
Hated it.
September 15, 2016
I was really hopeful about this book but I just didn't enjoy it. It was ok, just meh. I'm still not completely sure that any of it was successful for me. The characters felt a bit flat to me. I just never connected with them or felt they were real. The story felt like it would begin to go somewhere interesting and then fall flat. I usually love books that are focused around internal dialogue but this time it didn't work for me. It felt random and, at times, boring. I really wish there'd been more Aunt Viv and less of the main character. THAT would have been interesting! I just think this one didn't work for me. Which is a shame because I was so hopeful based on the premise. Unfortunately, I can't recommend this one wholeheartedly but there are others who've quite liked it. Maybe give it a shot if it sounds promising to you ...
August 20, 2016
Ugh. This book low key annoyed me from the almost the beginning, but I was curious enough to keep reading. The main character is not good. She invades her aunt's privacy (who seems to be letting her live there for free???) and then does something incredibly selfish near the end that pretty destroyed the book for me. There was also a possibly triggery line about
Not what I wanted.
Not what I wanted.
August 6, 2016
This was entertaining, especially if you are into a sort of stream of consciousness of a woman's internal thoughts (I am).
November 29, 2020
Oh, okay. This is protagonist Julia Greenfield's response to nearly every conversation she has with a character in Losing It.
And its exactly how I felt after reading it.
Oh, okay followed by That's it?
I don't know what was worse; how rude, discourteous, bratty and immature 26-year-old Julia Greenfield is or the fact that she believes her self worth and esteem is dependent on her losing her virginity?
Okay, the latter a bit more.
Losing It had a teen film premise that could have gone either way; raunchy and ridiculous a la Zac Efron or raunchy with meaningful, even thoughtful moments but instead it turned into something way worse.
Nothing happens. Yeah, she finally pops her cherry but she's so unlikable I didn't care. I did care that I had finished the book.
Julia Greenfield is a failed competitive swimmer slumming it at a dead end job.
Her thoughts are consumed with sex and her friends who have had it, where, with who and why hasn't she done the dirty deed?
On a whim, she quits her job, packs up her life and moves in with her aunt Viv, who she barely knows.
Then, she embarks on a couple of failed blind dates, excursions into bars and taking a watercolor class, all in the means of finding a suitable first time lover.
Her belief that her life will change for the better once she's popped her cherry is both insufferable and unbearable.
She'll give anyone a shot, that's how desperate she is.
Trust me, girlfriend. Losing your virginity isn't going to make you less uninteresting or sophisticated or kind.
Even the side plot about discovering her middle aged aunt is also a virgin comes out as dull and is basically shunted aside in Julie's pursuit for a penis.
No wonder Julia only has one friend. I wouldn't want to be hers.
And its exactly how I felt after reading it.
Oh, okay followed by That's it?
I don't know what was worse; how rude, discourteous, bratty and immature 26-year-old Julia Greenfield is or the fact that she believes her self worth and esteem is dependent on her losing her virginity?
Okay, the latter a bit more.
Losing It had a teen film premise that could have gone either way; raunchy and ridiculous a la Zac Efron or raunchy with meaningful, even thoughtful moments but instead it turned into something way worse.
Nothing happens. Yeah, she finally pops her cherry but she's so unlikable I didn't care. I did care that I had finished the book.
Julia Greenfield is a failed competitive swimmer slumming it at a dead end job.
Her thoughts are consumed with sex and her friends who have had it, where, with who and why hasn't she done the dirty deed?
On a whim, she quits her job, packs up her life and moves in with her aunt Viv, who she barely knows.
Then, she embarks on a couple of failed blind dates, excursions into bars and taking a watercolor class, all in the means of finding a suitable first time lover.
Her belief that her life will change for the better once she's popped her cherry is both insufferable and unbearable.
She'll give anyone a shot, that's how desperate she is.
Trust me, girlfriend. Losing your virginity isn't going to make you less uninteresting or sophisticated or kind.
Even the side plot about discovering her middle aged aunt is also a virgin comes out as dull and is basically shunted aside in Julie's pursuit for a penis.
No wonder Julia only has one friend. I wouldn't want to be hers.
November 17, 2017
I'm warning everyone to never read "Losing It" by Emma Rathbone because it is so gosh terrible. It's one of the few stand alone books that I've never finished. The main character was so focused on other people having sex, and everyone wanted to talk about sex so casually like it was the weather, and of course we all had to focus on the main character and her borderline senior citizen aunt being virgins. The main character actually takes it upon herself to help them both have sex for the first time... it was cringe worthy. I knew there was no way I could give this book anything other than a 1 star rating in the beginning but I still kept on reading because I heard the book was funny and witty... Biggest lie that's been spoken about a book this year. Pretty much skimmed this book after the first 89 pages.
May 2, 2017
this girl needs to try tinder
November 3, 2022
I'm really surprised that this isn't getting better reviews. Yes, the main character is selfish and neurotic. That's the point: she becomes so consumed by her obsession to lose her virginity that she not only can't figure out a way to have sex with anyone, but slowly alienates everyone around her: co-workers, family, friends, etc. I personally thought this was a fantastically smart, witty, and honest read. Rathbone cautions readers against making the same mistake as her heroine -- against becoming so obsessed with one tiny aspect of yourself that it dictates all of your friendships, career moves, hobbies, travel plans, personality traits, etc -- without being overly preachy. I was particularly impressed with how the relationship between Julia and her aunt Vivienne played out. I feared initially that this book would turn into some sort of spiritual buddy road trip, in which both women would find themselves both validated and pushed beyond their own limits by their blossoming soulmate-friendship. Thank goodness this was not the case. In summary, I devoured this book in two days (mostly one night, TBH), and would highly recommend it to anyone and everyone, particularly people who have some form of anxiety (whether or not it's related to Julia's particular neuroses; she chronicles what it's like to overanalyze everything from co-worker chit-chats to 'turning points' from her past very well).
July 31, 2016
I did not lose it over Losing It. Way too much monosyllabic millenial ennui for me. There are unlikeable protagonists and then there are annoying protagonists. Julia is an annoying protagonist. Everything I disliked about this book was a deliberate choice Rathbone made in terms of plot, style and character development so perhaps it will work for other readers but this was a real disappointment for me.
May 22, 2016
This was okay...but it's hard to get into a book when you really just don't like the main character very much.
May 25, 2025
I can say with 100% certainty that this was the worst piece of writing I’ve ever read in my whole entire life. I’ve read a wacky selection of books and have come across the occasional disappointment but my god do I hate this book with a passion. The characters, the plot, story development—I’ve never had to stop so many times and just yell in agony before. Please don’t waste your time with this. Spoilers below for rant / summary purposes.
SPOILERS:
• Why the fuck did it matter that Aunt Viv was a virgin? Why was it the focal point of the whole book? Why did Julia feel the need to blab it to everyone?
• Has the author even HAD sex before writing about it? If that’s the main character’s whole mission throughout the book you’d THINK there’d be more to it than “I knew it was going to hurt. It hurt. There was a drop of semen on my stomach.”
• The main character is wild. She needs help. Imagining what every person she encounters is like during sex? It can’t be the only thing she ever thinks about. There is so much more to life.
• This could’ve all been summed up with “hi I’m Julia a selfish virgin who Doesn’t understand!!! Why seX won’t happen for me! So I visited my aunt and fucked up her life after finding out SHE’S also a virgin! And then I fucked a man with a ponytail. Sex is aiight.”
SPOILERS:
• Why the fuck did it matter that Aunt Viv was a virgin? Why was it the focal point of the whole book? Why did Julia feel the need to blab it to everyone?
• Has the author even HAD sex before writing about it? If that’s the main character’s whole mission throughout the book you’d THINK there’d be more to it than “I knew it was going to hurt. It hurt. There was a drop of semen on my stomach.”
• The main character is wild. She needs help. Imagining what every person she encounters is like during sex? It can’t be the only thing she ever thinks about. There is so much more to life.
• This could’ve all been summed up with “hi I’m Julia a selfish virgin who Doesn’t understand!!! Why seX won’t happen for me! So I visited my aunt and fucked up her life after finding out SHE’S also a virgin! And then I fucked a man with a ponytail. Sex is aiight.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 11, 2018
I found this book in a free community book box on the street and that's where I'll be returning it.
It took me about 5 hours to get through the whole thing.
The book left a bad taste in my mouth. The main character, "Julia", is a dreadfully boring 26 year old who constantly does and says mean-spirited and cringeworthy things. Most notably, she never admits to ANYONE, even her best friend or Aunt Viv, that she is a virgin, even though multiple opportunities present themselves and she spends the entire book obsessing over this fact.
Why, oh why, am I a virgin?
Hmm, maybe it's because you say judgemental things about those trying to help you? (She laughs while telling anyone who will listen that her Aunt is a virgin. She complains about her Aunt, who is letting her live at her house for free, on the phone while the Aunt is in the next room).
Maybe it's because you're a personality-less bore? She quits her dead-end office job to "make a change", only to end up at another dead-end office job living for free with her Aunt in the middle of nowhere whom she barely knows. She even admits "I should have taken a job at a restaurant or bar to meet people, but, oh well...."
Maybe its because your idea to having a conversation is responing "Oh ok" or "cool" to anything said to you.
I could go on an on. Julia is a painfully awkward and unaware woman desperate to f*** any man that comes her way, with absolutely no standards. She tries to get with random internet dudes, her married coworker, and the son of a woman who just died at her funeral. She also seriously lets her Aunt down on multiple occasions and never really makes up for it.
By the way, every character in the book is more interesting and adventurous than the main character herself, a fact that seems to completely escape Julia. She constantly laments at the loss of her virginity friend, Grace. She doesn't understand why her parents would want to spend a summer in Costa Rica. She thinks of her Aunt Viv as dull and untalented even though all of her friends say otherwise. Meanwhile, Julia constantly recounts memories of how she turned down every opportunity to lose her virginity for seemingly no reason and she still wonders why she is a virgin.
Julia is a creeper herself. She snoops on her Aunt for no reason. She imagines everyone she sees having sex with a strange and unsettling inner-monologue. She recounts sex stories from her friends' childhood that are more than a bit uncomfortable.
When she finally "loses it", it's unsexy and unsatisfying. She goes over and sleeps with the 45 year old man she previously thought was married (unsurprisingly, Julia is just as flat and one-note in bed as she is in the rest of her interactions) and goes back to Texas to presumably get another dead end job. There's about as much spark there as a wet napkin.
Nevermind that many of the plot points that are interesting go nowhere, including her Aunt Viv's hobby/love interests, her parents separation, the insulting man she went on an internet date with, her friendship with Grace, etc.
In conclusion, this book somehow took a fun and quirky concept and turned it into a dreadful little look into a judgemental, selfish and drab 26 year olds life.
It took me about 5 hours to get through the whole thing.
The book left a bad taste in my mouth. The main character, "Julia", is a dreadfully boring 26 year old who constantly does and says mean-spirited and cringeworthy things. Most notably, she never admits to ANYONE, even her best friend or Aunt Viv, that she is a virgin, even though multiple opportunities present themselves and she spends the entire book obsessing over this fact.
Why, oh why, am I a virgin?
Hmm, maybe it's because you say judgemental things about those trying to help you? (She laughs while telling anyone who will listen that her Aunt is a virgin. She complains about her Aunt, who is letting her live at her house for free, on the phone while the Aunt is in the next room).
Maybe it's because you're a personality-less bore? She quits her dead-end office job to "make a change", only to end up at another dead-end office job living for free with her Aunt in the middle of nowhere whom she barely knows. She even admits "I should have taken a job at a restaurant or bar to meet people, but, oh well...."
Maybe its because your idea to having a conversation is responing "Oh ok" or "cool" to anything said to you.
I could go on an on. Julia is a painfully awkward and unaware woman desperate to f*** any man that comes her way, with absolutely no standards. She tries to get with random internet dudes, her married coworker, and the son of a woman who just died at her funeral. She also seriously lets her Aunt down on multiple occasions and never really makes up for it.
By the way, every character in the book is more interesting and adventurous than the main character herself, a fact that seems to completely escape Julia. She constantly laments at the loss of her virginity friend, Grace. She doesn't understand why her parents would want to spend a summer in Costa Rica. She thinks of her Aunt Viv as dull and untalented even though all of her friends say otherwise. Meanwhile, Julia constantly recounts memories of how she turned down every opportunity to lose her virginity for seemingly no reason and she still wonders why she is a virgin.
Julia is a creeper herself. She snoops on her Aunt for no reason. She imagines everyone she sees having sex with a strange and unsettling inner-monologue. She recounts sex stories from her friends' childhood that are more than a bit uncomfortable.
When she finally "loses it", it's unsexy and unsatisfying. She goes over and sleeps with the 45 year old man she previously thought was married (unsurprisingly, Julia is just as flat and one-note in bed as she is in the rest of her interactions) and goes back to Texas to presumably get another dead end job. There's about as much spark there as a wet napkin.
Nevermind that many of the plot points that are interesting go nowhere, including her Aunt Viv's hobby/love interests, her parents separation, the insulting man she went on an internet date with, her friendship with Grace, etc.
In conclusion, this book somehow took a fun and quirky concept and turned it into a dreadful little look into a judgemental, selfish and drab 26 year olds life.
August 21, 2016
What a terrific book. The premise is comic and promising: 26 year old Julia is desperate to finally lose her virginity over the summer, and she’s not too picky about how it happens. Much hilarity ensues as she repeatedly tries and (finally) succeeds, but the book is much more than a comedic romp. Through a smart but anguished and confused first-person unreliable narration, we learn that being a virgin is the least of Julia’s problems – she has few friends, and none close enough to tell about her lamentable virtue. Julia moves to Durham NC to live with her 55 year old aunt Viv, who Julia is appalled to discover is also a virgin – a fate that terrifies Julia but that she sees as all to plausible. The awkward not-quite-friendship between Viv and Julia is the central relationship of the book, and Julia’s quest to understand Viv is almost as urgent as her quest to get laid. The book is surprisingly subtle and touching as well as being a fast and often-hilarious read.
August 6, 2016
Netgalley copy in exchange for an honest review.
I'm conflicted about this book. While the summary sounded exciting and promising, I felt disappointed to have it as a story of a young woman who is obsessing over only one thing: her (lack of) sex life. I had a very hard time liking the main character. The story itself was entertaining at times, but to a certain point; it felt like something was missing. Some funny bits are still to be mentionned, but overall, I found this book to be underwhelming.
I'm conflicted about this book. While the summary sounded exciting and promising, I felt disappointed to have it as a story of a young woman who is obsessing over only one thing: her (lack of) sex life. I had a very hard time liking the main character. The story itself was entertaining at times, but to a certain point; it felt like something was missing. Some funny bits are still to be mentionned, but overall, I found this book to be underwhelming.
October 24, 2017
i ended up reading most of this book in one sitting because i was stranded in a starbucks during a big storm. i really enjoyed the book, a lot more than i expected especially considering i purchased it only because i liked the cover.
although im not at all in julia’s situation (not 26, not unemployed, not a virgin) i could relate to her hardcore overthinking. i liked her character, i especially enjoyed her aunt and elliott seemed like a great guy.
a quick and funny read.
although im not at all in julia’s situation (not 26, not unemployed, not a virgin) i could relate to her hardcore overthinking. i liked her character, i especially enjoyed her aunt and elliott seemed like a great guy.
a quick and funny read.
Want to read
May 22, 2016I'm a twenty-four year old virgin and this blurb is very similar to my current situation. So this was basically written for me. I simply must read it. I'm expecting to learn a lot, laugh a lot, and possibly shed some tears.
July 4, 2017
Oh, okay.
December 31, 2018
I hated this book I literally hated this book SO MUCH
January 6, 2025
Very very good writing about the excruciating awkwardness of every single type of encounter one can have in a day, in a lifetime, in the space of a half hour: at a dead-end job, on a bad blind date, in a job interview, in a car. Never EVER have I seen flirting, chatting, dating, sex, failing to have sex, conversing with friends, confiding in parents, swimming--wow-the swimming--and obsessively examining all of the above more accurately described. And yet argh, the pain of it. The pain of being in a book that is so very like being in my own obsessively anxious mind. This harrowing epiphany, for instance, knocked the breath out of me: "It could happen. It did happen. The train could pass, and disappear into the distance. Everything you'd gathered for the right moment could wither in your arms and spiral away in the wind." My word, Emma.
December 8, 2022
I DNFed this book. This book has a character that agonizes over everything making the reading experience annoying and tedious. Why is the MC telling everyone her aunt’s business?
October 8, 2016
The blurb intrigued me and I was pleased to be able to read this as part of a blog tour. I’m not really sure how to categorise it other than a light easy read to fill a few hours.
Julia is twenty-six and comes across as self-obsessed, not a particularly nice person and the only thing she tends to worry about is losing her virginity! At times during the book I did want to tell her if she was a little nicer and thought of other people rather than herself it might just happen!
She isn’t happy in her current job (surprise!) she used to be a competitive swimmer when younger but failed to make the grade for the Olympics .. another side of her which indicates if she doesn’t get what she wants she throws a strop. With a sense of failure, not belonging or knowing what she wants to do she is a bit of a lost soul.
So she heads back ‘home’ but to her dismay her parent’s have rented out the home so they can travel .. Julia finds herself with no option than to go visit her Aunt Viv for the summer. They are virtual strangers and the majority of the story revolves around their terribly awkward relationship.
Julia manages to find a job, goes on some disastrous dates all with the expectation one of them will want sex! It’s only as she begins to unravel the curious behaviour of Viv she realises she is also a virgin.
I never grew to like Julia I was hopeful that by the end I may be feeling her plight but her selfish behaviour especially towards Viv left me just wanting her to get ‘it’ over and done with. I’m not sure about Viv, she was a character with potential which we didn’t manage to unveil.
The book itself is written ok, it does get more engaging nearer the end but it felt like quite a long walk in treacle before I got to any parts that kept me interested. Suitable as a quick escape from reality, or a holiday read.
Thanks to the author, publisher and Netgalley for my copy.
Julia is twenty-six and comes across as self-obsessed, not a particularly nice person and the only thing she tends to worry about is losing her virginity! At times during the book I did want to tell her if she was a little nicer and thought of other people rather than herself it might just happen!
She isn’t happy in her current job (surprise!) she used to be a competitive swimmer when younger but failed to make the grade for the Olympics .. another side of her which indicates if she doesn’t get what she wants she throws a strop. With a sense of failure, not belonging or knowing what she wants to do she is a bit of a lost soul.
So she heads back ‘home’ but to her dismay her parent’s have rented out the home so they can travel .. Julia finds herself with no option than to go visit her Aunt Viv for the summer. They are virtual strangers and the majority of the story revolves around their terribly awkward relationship.
Julia manages to find a job, goes on some disastrous dates all with the expectation one of them will want sex! It’s only as she begins to unravel the curious behaviour of Viv she realises she is also a virgin.
I never grew to like Julia I was hopeful that by the end I may be feeling her plight but her selfish behaviour especially towards Viv left me just wanting her to get ‘it’ over and done with. I’m not sure about Viv, she was a character with potential which we didn’t manage to unveil.
The book itself is written ok, it does get more engaging nearer the end but it felt like quite a long walk in treacle before I got to any parts that kept me interested. Suitable as a quick escape from reality, or a holiday read.
Thanks to the author, publisher and Netgalley for my copy.
October 16, 2016
new life plan:
write novel about two women in a coffee shop who spend all day picking apart orange scones and drinking milky tea while discussing how the men in their respective lives fail to excite or enthrall them, imply lack of male attention is making them "stiffer" and more rigidly fighting against the natural sway of the world who wants them and their barren wombs less and less. call book: failing the bechdel test. laugh all the way to the bank.
it would still be better than this one.
julia is a 26 year old virgin whose name i actually had to spend several minutes trying to recall.
i read the book this afternoon.
she has a crush on her long-haired, new-agey co-worker who may or may not be married and has more unsuccessful attempts to lose her virginity in one summer than any person with internet access should.
it's called tinder, girl.
of course, it might be because she's a thoroughly unlikable and awkward character that she truly fails for so long...she's terrible at her job, unambitious about so much in life, and singularly preoccupied with her aging libido.
really, i probably should have read the back of the book before picking this one up. i thought it'd be a quirky mid-life crisis thing. #oops
poor one-dimensional aunt viv never stood a chance.
for readers hoping that this one will turn into a lovely homage to "how to make an american quilt," it doesn't and it won't. julia and finn rate equally on the likability scale but finn was surrounded by a rich cast of characters who helped drive the plot. julia has elliott and aunt viv and some other one note songs to sing without ever feeling emotionally connected to anyone.
which might be part of the reason she's in her particular pickle - a casual detachment wrapped in an investment to the awkward. but that's too subtle for this particular romp through delayed loss of innocence.
1.5 stars - some nice sentences in a book that just felt dismissive of the central subject
write novel about two women in a coffee shop who spend all day picking apart orange scones and drinking milky tea while discussing how the men in their respective lives fail to excite or enthrall them, imply lack of male attention is making them "stiffer" and more rigidly fighting against the natural sway of the world who wants them and their barren wombs less and less. call book: failing the bechdel test. laugh all the way to the bank.
it would still be better than this one.
julia is a 26 year old virgin whose name i actually had to spend several minutes trying to recall.
i read the book this afternoon.
she has a crush on her long-haired, new-agey co-worker who may or may not be married and has more unsuccessful attempts to lose her virginity in one summer than any person with internet access should.
it's called tinder, girl.
of course, it might be because she's a thoroughly unlikable and awkward character that she truly fails for so long...she's terrible at her job, unambitious about so much in life, and singularly preoccupied with her aging libido.
really, i probably should have read the back of the book before picking this one up. i thought it'd be a quirky mid-life crisis thing. #oops
poor one-dimensional aunt viv never stood a chance.
for readers hoping that this one will turn into a lovely homage to "how to make an american quilt," it doesn't and it won't. julia and finn rate equally on the likability scale but finn was surrounded by a rich cast of characters who helped drive the plot. julia has elliott and aunt viv and some other one note songs to sing without ever feeling emotionally connected to anyone.
which might be part of the reason she's in her particular pickle - a casual detachment wrapped in an investment to the awkward. but that's too subtle for this particular romp through delayed loss of innocence.
1.5 stars - some nice sentences in a book that just felt dismissive of the central subject
November 29, 2021
DNF!!
With good reason.
The only one losing it is ME!
This book is an insult to books. At first I thought the author was subtly hinting that perhaps the lead character was socially awkward for a real reason (whatever that may be) but after a few chapters (and characters) I just realised this author isn't subtle at anything, and has no idea how to create believable characters or dialogue.
Every sentence spoken from every character reminded me of a comic strip I'd once seen where an alien was trying to understand human communication, and failing miserable. At least that comic was funny.
This lead woman (whose name I won't bother to remember) is a grade A sour puss who needs something - ANYTHING - in her life. She is literally a moron. If you looked up "Clinically Incompetent In Life" in the dictionary, it would have an essay about her. She's a failure of a daughter, a failure of a niece, a failure of a friend, a failure in her career, a failure in relationships, a failure in the ability to open and close her mouth while emitting sounds that make words. She is literally the most awful character. I can't even begin to tell you what the book is about because there is no plot. Some chick wants to get laid but can't get laid?!?
I have no words.
One day, a thousand years from now, archaeologists will dig up this book, read it and judge women harshly for it.
With good reason.
The only one losing it is ME!
This book is an insult to books. At first I thought the author was subtly hinting that perhaps the lead character was socially awkward for a real reason (whatever that may be) but after a few chapters (and characters) I just realised this author isn't subtle at anything, and has no idea how to create believable characters or dialogue.
Every sentence spoken from every character reminded me of a comic strip I'd once seen where an alien was trying to understand human communication, and failing miserable. At least that comic was funny.
This lead woman (whose name I won't bother to remember) is a grade A sour puss who needs something - ANYTHING - in her life. She is literally a moron. If you looked up "Clinically Incompetent In Life" in the dictionary, it would have an essay about her. She's a failure of a daughter, a failure of a niece, a failure of a friend, a failure in her career, a failure in relationships, a failure in the ability to open and close her mouth while emitting sounds that make words. She is literally the most awful character. I can't even begin to tell you what the book is about because there is no plot. Some chick wants to get laid but can't get laid?!?
I have no words.
One day, a thousand years from now, archaeologists will dig up this book, read it and judge women harshly for it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 449 reviews