The secret to great relationships—just for teens #1 New York Times bestselling book The 5 Love Languages® has sold over 10 million copies, helping countless relationships thrive. Simply put, it works. But do the five love languages work for teens, for their relationships with parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, and significant others? Yes! Introducing A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages, the first-ever edition written just to teens, for teens, and with a teen's world in mind. It guides emerging adults in discovering and understanding their own love languages as well as how to best express love to others. This highly practical book will help teens answer questions Features Teens' relationships matter, and these simple ideas will help them thrive.
Gary Demonte Chapman is an American author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships.
I don't have a lot to say about this book other than that I really did not enjoy it.
It felt almost painful to get through the pages and looking back, I wish I had skipped the first half or so. That was frankly a terrible part, dr. Chapman describes the five love languages in such a pseudo-teen language that it got on my nerves very quickly.
I want to stress that with the theory itself, I don't have an issue at all but I think writing this book for teenagers, and for them only, was incredibly unnecessary and shows that dr. Chapman was just out for the money. :/ And books like that never turn out to be good.
Also, the constant bible quotes made me want to throw the book against the wall. Does he actually think that this would attract a broad audience and convince young adults that what he writes is valid? Let me tell him that he is very wrong with such assumptions. Furthermore, I think dr. Chapman's writing needs a good editor and corrector who goes through the seemingly endless repetitions and eliminate 80 per cent of them.
But to finish this review on a better note, the second part of the book got a bit more interesting and original, maybe some people could benefit from that. Looking at other goodreads reviews, the overall reception of this book seems quite positive, so I don't know if I'm simply too old for this book (which shouldn't be the case though, but who knows?) or what else might be the issue.
A lot of people would recommend this, but frankly, I wouldn't.
I absolutely LOVED this take on the five love languages. Biggest takeaways: Love is a choice. Love is a VERB.
No matter how much you’re speaking the other 4 languages, if you’re not speaking their primary love language, they will not feel loved. ‼️‼️‼️ That was a big eye opener for me.
This book put emphasis on love in every relationship, parents, siblings, friends, not just romantic relationships, which was fantastic, I wish there were more books on the love languages like that.
It helped me learn what my love language order is through the self analysis questions, which was slightly different than my test results. Time>Gifts>Words>Touch>Service. I would’ve never thought gifts was so high until I read this, but I realized that’s one of the biggest ways I instinctively show love, and I’m so sentimental and feel so loved by every small gift I’ve ever received from someone I love.
It also helped me realize the importance of becoming fluent in all love languages, asking what people’s love language is, but also figuring it out for myself through my actions. Spend time with them, give them gifts, tell them I love them, give them a hug, do something for them, and see the effect of each action, and use it to strengthen our relationship.
Studying the love languages is vital to having strong friendships, mending relationships, maintaining relationships, and making loved ones feel truly loved!!
I read this aloud with my kids--16, 14, 12, and 8. It was a great synopsis of the main points of the original book. I liked that it was geared towards all a teens' relationships: parents, siblings, friends, as well as romantic, instead of just focusing on dating. It was super short and accessible and a great starting point to begin lots of good discussions.
Reading this book was a lot of fun! I am definitely a Time person. I hope I can find good ways to apply the knowledge from reading this book in my life.
helped a lot on how i look at all the type of relationships i have in my life and helped me realize that other people need different things, that were not the same with what we need. very helpful with my thought process i think everyone should read it.
*This book was received via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
This book was a really good read that offered great advice on not only love but relationships in general. I think it is a great read especially for teens such as myself who are still learning about the world around us and sometimes need some guidance. The only criticism I have is that some elements of the book were repetitive. The reflection questions at the end of each section were also really good, however I think the book would be more useful and effective as a paperback or hard copy rather than in an e-book format as the formatting throughout the book was a little off and unless you have a piece of paper and a pen handy it can be hard to really answer the questions.
Overall, this is a great read for teens and adults alike.
The entire Love Language series is very valuable and helpful in guiding us to understand how to love others well and build stronger relationships. This particular book is targeted to the 13-19 year old audience. I think there is a lot of good advice for this age group as they group to understand themselves better. I didn't give five stars because I also think there needs to be more mention in the book of how God transforms our desire to love others through the Gospel. While love is a choice and a part of our will, it is God's love ultimately that leads us to love others the way we should love them. I'd like to see that aspect presented more clearly in this book. Otherwise, it's an excellent look at how we like to be loved and how to love others in the way they want to be loved.
Gary Demonte Chapman was born January 10th, 1938 in China Grove, North Carolina, during the Great Depression. He started his career in Winston-Salem, North Carolina at a baptist church where his role was to teach families. He later grew up to not only be an author and talk show host, but also a voice for struggling couples and families. He travels the world speaking for these struggling families and teaching the world about relationships.
Along with writing the 5 Love Languages, he is also a pastor. He wrote his first book and published it in 1992, “The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate” which later became the series he is now known for. He is now a talk show host and an author. He graduated with a bachelor of arts degree after enrolling and attending Wheaton College. Before enrolling in college, he studied at the Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. He didn’t stop there though; after leaving Wheaton College with his bachelor of arts degree, he went on to attend and graduate from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary with a Master of Religious Education and a Doctor of Philosophy. Today he is a well-known author, talk-show host, and on top of that he travels the world talking about relationships and the mental languages that we speak to each other in all relationships.
Observations About the Author’s Style and Voice
When I first started reading, I felt like the author was almost attacking me. The welcome page immediately talked about what we want and crave as humans and how this book would teach us how to achieve those things. “The book you’re holding in your hands might be one of the simplest, most commonsense, profound, life-changing books you’ve ever read.” states Gary Chapman. By using big words to sound more professional, he keeps the readers hooked, and when he states how this book will be “life-changing” I personally as the reader, wanted to see if this would be true. I noticed while reading that Chapman bolded in a grayish blue color all of the sentences he thought were most important. Gary twists his words that he used in his books to direct the questions asked to the reader. When reading his book “A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages” I perceived how Chapman asks the reader questions, and once the reader answers those mentally, somehow Chapman turns those answers into facts and informational pieces of evidence. Chapman speaks to the reader as a parent would speak to their child.
Major Questions Raised
Once I finished Chapman’s life-changing book, A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages I was left with a brain full of questions. First of all, Chapman stated how you have to learn to speak to the other party in the relationship with their love language, or else the relationship is set up to fail. What I am wondering is how do you know what the other party's love language is? I would imagine you would be able to tell by inspecting what the other party gives you, but if that happens, that means you set up your relationship for failure at the beginning or start of the relationship. Does that mean after you figure out what the other person's love language is and you learn how to speak it then your relationship is now healthy and not doomed for failure anymore?
Perspective
How the book has changed me:
After reading Gary Chapman's “A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages” I can agree that I overall have been impacted by the words that were stated in this life-changing book. Now when I am figuring out what to give someone for a gift, instead of thinking about what I would like, I think about what they would like. Basically, instead of speaking in my language, one they wouldn’t understand, I am learning how to speak in their language. Before I read this book I was self-centered, selfish, and thought that the world spinned for me. Now I know that this was false. The world spins for itself, and we are just visitors who are using its resources. I have to learn to adapt to everyone else to have good and really even great relationships in the present and in the future.
Who I would recommend this book to:
As a reader, reviewer, and peer, I recommend this book to anyone with an open mind and an interest in bettering themselves and their relationships. If you have a rocky past, and can’t seem to keep friends, I definitely recommend this book because it will teach you to enhance your relationships. Once you’ve finished reading “A Teens Guide to the Five Love Languages” you will be a new person, with your old qualities, but they will be enhanced and you will know how to create better relationships that will be healthier to your mind and body, and will last a lifetime. If you are willing to go through this process then this book is most definitely for you.
This is a super helpful, practical, and inspiring read. I’ve found it so helpful in understanding myself and others more - as I read, I was able to identify and make sense of so much. The author writes in a very accessible way and while it’s easy to read it has potential for profound impact. It is practical in that there are real life scenarios, processing questions, and ideas for putting what you read into practice. This book inspired me to get to know the primary love languages of other people so I can learn how to love them best, and for those who I already know their primary love language, it inspired me to become more fluent in expressing love to them in that language. I totally recommend this to any teen (or non-teen, although there are about 25 other love language books, at least one of which you will probably fit the category for :D). This book is really useful for effective communication, understanding yourself and others, and growing healthy relationships. Thank you Gary Chapman!
I wish every teenager could read this book! Learning about the 5 love languages is life changing; not only being able to understand that people communicate in different ways, but then knowing how to read and speak the languages of others will improve your relationship with everyone in your life. Whether it's about clashing less with family at home, or being a more supportive and understanding friend, reading this book will benefit you. I love that this book is set out so simply, it's really easy to read and comprehend. It gets straight to the point so you can start applying the concepts in your life. I highly recommend every teenager picks up and reads a copy of this book - you won't regret it.
Are you having a hard time communicating with your teens? Are they having a hard time communicating with you, their siblings, teachers, and well, just about anyone? This book makes a perfect gift for your teen!
I highly recommend this book to help facilitate better communication among your teens (and tweens). This book prompted my teenager to take her quiz online to find what her predominant love language was. She was surprised by her results.
We are all ready to encourage her in her language. She can also recognize others' languages to better communicate. Grab this book. It's not a thick read and it has quizzes and scenarios that are very fruitful.
This book was ok. I wasn’t very interesting. The author did do a good job explaining all of the five love languages from everyone’s point of view. He also did a good job explaining how you can give love in all five languages. He could definitely make this book a little more interesting. I did enjoy most of examples he put in though. All of the elements in this book were realistic. I gave this book three start one, for its good examples, two for showing the five love languages from everyone’s point of view and three, because I think some people could really benefit from this book. Happy reading!!!!
I really enjoyed this book. It made me think about my relationships and how I can improve them. The questions at the end of each chapter really helped me to figure out how I express and receive love and how to apply what I learned to my current relationships. I loved how the book would give different scenarios and examples to explain things. I thought that it was a little repetitive in some places. The quiz at the end of the book to see what your love language is was also very fun. The book talked about sex, but it didn’t go into any detail of what it was. The 5 Love Languages would be good for kids twelve and up.
For many years, I have heard people speak of the five love languages as though everyone should automatically know what they are and how they work. After reading this book, I feel much more comfortable with the concept. I appreciate that the author of this book does not limit the topic to romantic love and couple relationships. Instead, he shows how every type of relationship (sibling, friend, parent/child, etc.) can benefit from understanding what makes others feel valued. The author includes many examples to illustrate his points, and the accessible length makes this an easy read. I recommend this book to those who seek to get along better with the people in their lives.
We used this as a family read-aloud with our 3 teens and 11-year-old. It provided fodder for some really excellent discussions, very out of our normal M.O. with each other, and which I hope will bear good fruit in the next several years in our family. It’s written for a pretty general audience but still offers wise advice that fits well into a biblical framework. Some parents might object to discussions of high school dating/relationships and divorce, but again, it’s written for a wide audience and Chapman does a good job of addressing real life in a way that tries to meet the reader where he is and give him tools for life without pontificating.
This is an excellent book for teens (or really anyone) to learn the basics about the 5 primary love languages. Each chapter is written in a way that is easy to understand. The “Pause and Process” questions at the end of each chapter are great resources for group discussion. Teen guys and girls can benefit from reading through this book and understanding how to build and sustain meaningful friendships and relationships. This book covers both casual/platonic and romantic relationships and has some excellent case study examples to further explain the ideas.
When I married, I read Gary Chapman's Love Language for couples. When I had my babies, I read Love Languages for children. So when a counseling friend recommended this book, I immediately hopped online and purchased it. My teenage daughter and I read it separately than discussed the questions at the end of each chapter. The chapters were short, engaging, and relatable to my teenager. We had many fruitful discussions as a result of this book. By far this is my favorite of the Love Language books.
I didn’t really enjoy this book. The author did a pretty good job with this book and like describing all the different sections and they made good examples, but I just didn’t find it interesting. The book had pretty relatable situations, and I have nothing against it. It may just be that I don’t like guides and informational books, but I just feel like the author could have done better. So I don’t really recommend, but you can still read it if you want.
I think this is the best nonfiction I’ve ever read!
It was easy to understand, with examples and full explanations, but at the same time it was mind-blowing and new. I’d taken my test before; I am 40% Words of Affirmation, which is the highest percent possible, and only about 5% for both gifts and touch. I really need to work on those, because they’re my brother and sister’s languages.
Definitely a 5 star read, which I don’t usually give to nonfiction.
For Mother’s Day 2015, my boys collaborated on a load of bark mulch for my flower gardens — and then faithfully spread every last particle. What a gift! They were certainly speaking my love language!
Gary Chapman’s five love languages have become woven into the fabric of our culture. Any conversation centered around interpersonal dynamics and relationship building is going to, eventually, come around to a discussion of understanding the other person’s love language. But what if the conversation started during the teen years when relational habits are still being formed — before life partners are chosen and language barriers are already in place? Although Rosetta Stone hasn’t come up with a series on love languages, Paige Hayley Drygas has lent her voice to Gary’s classic material and the result is A Teen’s Guide to the 5 Love Languages.
Since there are only five fundamental love languages, all humans express love emotionally in five distinct ways. Each of us has a primary love language, which means that one of the five speaks more deeply to us than the other four. This is crucial to understand in a relationship because no matter how much I love my husband and sons, if I am not communicating that love to them in a way that is meaningful to them, they will not feel loved. We have a tendency to speak the language that fills our own love tank, when that may not be the most effective means of communication to our loved ones. Too, we should not speak only the primary love language of the people we care for. Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, keep in mind that “if you don’t speak a person’s primary love language, then that person will not feel loved, even though you may be fluently speaking the other four.”
Through the use of engaging illustrations and personal examples, Gary and Paige present all five love languages with related tips on enriching teens’ relationships and very practical examples of what each love language would look like in real life. The goal is to identify ones own love language and then to key into the preferences of family and friends:
Words of affirmation — Truthful words spoken or written from one person to another to uplift, to encourage, and to make the recipient feel loved. Specific and intentional words can communicate how much we value those we love by expressing appreciation, encouragement, praise, and kindness. Warnings against flattery are wise. Quality time — Intentional, deliberate time spent with a person to make the individual feel loved. With each of the five languages, there are dialects that guide exactly how the love is received. For instance, quality conversation may fill the love tank of one person while shared activities may be the preference of another. Gifts — More than a material item, a gift is a visual symbol of love representing the giver. A gift is a tangible object that says, “I was thinking about you, and I wanted you to have this.” The value of the item does not correspond to its price tag but to its meaning to the person. Acts of service — Doing something kind, intentional, and unexpected that helps someone else. Once again, we’re looking for impact: what will mean the most to the recipient? This may not necessarily be judged in the amount of time spent, or even by how hard you work. Attitude and eagerness are important, and service does not imply becoming someone’s doormat. Physical touch — If someone’s primary love language is touch, then your touches will speak more loudly than your words. Boys and girls will express affection differently — and individual personalities, the parameters of the relationship, and timing all play a huge role in communicating love through touch. Obviously this is a tricky one for teens, for, sadly, no other love language has been more distorted than touch. Some important considerations:
It is critical to learn to both receive and give love in all five languages. All the love languages can be learned. Some may feel more awkward than others, but all of us need to be able to speak love in a variety of ways. Every love language has an opposite. Quality time’s evil twin is deliberately leaving someone out; the twisted version of gifts would be bribery and manipulation. The Five Love Languages Profile is a diagnostic test to help readers evaluate their own love language, and a helpful chart is provided for analyzing the go-to language of loved ones.
Just as missionaries labor to communicate in the “heart language” of the people group they serve — the language of their thoughts, feelings, and dreams — we communicate love and respect, value and appreciation for others by learning their love language and using it to speak deeply to them.
“All of us want to be known and loved. That’s universal. However, how we want to be loved is unique to each of us.” A terrific study for a youth or college-aged group, A Teen’s Guide to the Five Love Languages is a helpful tool for better communication and the laying of a good foundation for healthy relationships.
//
This book was provided by Northfield Publishing in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
This was a great book and i feel it helped me understand people better. I can be kind to others by knowing how they want to talk. I love the way the author put different stories into the one so we can relate to other peoples stories. It did get a little boring in the middle of the book but it was a pretty good book.
This book helped me understand myself and others a lot more. I find people less confusing and understand things more. I really enjoyed this book and I like how the author used examples to reveal what love language you have. I recommend this book for people who are having arguments or conflict or just want to understand people better.
Succinct. Great read on how to be more conscious in how we treat others, what we can do to strengthen relationships, and why we do or don’t feel loved.
It's amazing how valid this is in our everyday lives! Reading this book helped me to reflect on my own love languages and how I can help others and fill their love tanks too!
I thought this was a thoughtful, interesting book on love for teens. Although, there are one or two points that have a little too much religion for my taste.