** I received this book through NetGalley and Columbia University Press in exchange for an honest review**
I was really rooting for this book in the beginning. In fact, my updates will verify this. Oliver delivered some very convincing arguments about campus rape and why attention needs to be drawn to this epidemic. Where she really lost me is the analysis of media concerning rape culture and sexual violence. Oliver struggles to hold onto her main point, that media influences rape culture, because she gets lost in side-commentary. Good things: commenting about how we're given 'strong girls' so that we can watch them get beaten down and punished for breaking the mold. Bad things: just about everything else.
I think one of the most prominent issues I had with this book is that all of the characters she brings into her arguments are white. When she argues that these characters' stories symbolize sexual awakenings, she neglects to mention the severe dichotomy between women/girls of color and white girls. Girls of color are assumed to already have sexual autonomy, proven in the sexualization of little black girls, and the 'spicy latina girl' stereotype. Only white girls are allowed this sort of narrative- which is apparent in how Katniss Everdeen (a canonically Native American character in the books) was whitewashed in her movie proper. Only focusing on white girls and their narratives really shows Oliver's point of view- that of a solely white feminist who doesn't take into consideration the lack of narratives designated for women/girls of color.
Another issue with this writing as a whole is how she starts into very good topics (ones that not only promote thought and needs) only to drop them and regurgitate the exact same points she's mentioned half a million times ('rape is valorized in our culture', anyone?). Things she brought up but didn't continue: Edward's continued abuse of Bella (outside of their sexual relationship), the actual meaning behind the 'choking women' imagery in Hollywood, and the fact that women are expected to forgive all the time. All things that should've been explored, but Oliver's dismissal of these topics (as well as the way that she ignores the lack of WoC in her narrative) makes it seem like she doesn't actually care for her topic.
Alright, now, the whole 'this book hates millenials topic'; I made a joke about this once in my updates (around the time she denounced selfies for 'sexualizing women', not taking into account the fact that women have autonomy in taking these pictures of themselves, and not the creepshots they were being compared to). Then, it actually began to be proven with Oliver's denouncement of triggers. The thing about triggers is that they are a real thing- except when it comes to rape survivors, apparently (which Oliver defends a professor that said they shouldn't be called 'survivors', but 'accusers', because the sexual assault hasn't been proven. Also, because apparently the only people allowed to use the word is Holocaust survivors, ignoring the fact that many people were raped during the Holocaust and immediately after the Holocaust). It's almost as if Oliver has never seen a movie- you know, where they show you the content warnings alongside the words PG-13 or R. By law, they have to report whether or not a movie shows sexual violence.
And, yet, Oliver acts as if rape survivors can not have PTSD triggered by explicit discussion of rape. She acts as if words don't actually affect someone's emotions (which, if she holds this view, she should've never written this book), and that only the repeated act is actually triggering. As if veterans hearing loud noises aren't triggered into panic attacks from their PTSD. As if child abuse survivors don't cringe when someone moves their arms quickly in a strike. She acts as if it's some big Barrier to the Feminist Movement- as if making slight accommodations or warning people that you were going to discuss rape is a big inconvenience. Telling people that you're going to discuss rape beforehand, and giving people who are uncomfortable with hearing that the entire world functions to allow rape to occur (what, did Oliver forget that that's what talking about rape culture entails?) the option to leave. This idea that rape survivors should pull up their big girl pants and suffer through flashbacks and panic attacks so we can have some sort of intellectual debate about rape is victim shaming- you're arguing that they aren't allowed to experience these emotions in relation to active triggers.
Honestly, though, I lost all respect when Oliver argued that a teacher should be able to use the n-word when discussing racism (especially since the woman she was defending was an old white woman). There is no circumstance where white/non-black people are allowed to use the n-word- the whole reason why we are not allowed to is because it has been used to dehumanize black people for centuries. I don't care what your circumstance is, using the n-word is not something you can do.