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Decoding Your Kink: Guide to Explore, Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires
“Visionary…Masterful…Groundbreaking…Cutting Edge…Worth its Weight in Diamonds … Highly Recommended…Compelling…Written from the Heart…A Must Read”
Decoding Your Kink, by leading Fetish Sex educator, researcher and sex-positive therapist Galen Fous MTP, offers ground-breaking psychological insight into the emerging global renaissance of sexual exploration, orientation and identity particularly in the realm of Kink.
"Galen Fous is a visionary, providing a clear and courageous roadmap for anyone looking to undo the shackles of societally induced sexual shame and go on a journey to discover his or her own Personal Erotic Myth." - Dr. Michael Aaron, NYC sex therapist.
“Galen Fous smooths the path and leads you through the predicaments, pleasures, enticements and outrageous glories of Kink. His genuine, unique voice is outstanding and heartwarming. A must read!” Limor Blockman, PhD, Clinical Sex Therapist, Playboy Radio Host, www.DrLimor.com
“Nobody struggles more with the feeling that their erotic desires are 'wrong' or 'broken' than the man or woman who otherwise fits easily into mainstream culture - the heterosexual man and woman into dominance and submission and BDSM. 'Decoding Your Kink' is worth its weight in diamonds to such strugglers, offering them a sensible and nurturing path to self-knowledge, self-acceptance and the erotic intensity we all crave and too few ever obtain.” - Janet W. Hardy, coauthor, The Ethical Slut, The New Bottoming Book and more
“Galen Fous’ unique insights on a subject much maligned and misunderstood is a primer for individuals interested in exploring the world of kink. It provides guidelines, case studies and personal experiences to assist the reader in shedding their shame and discovering their authentic sexuality.” – Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Clinical Sexologist, theEroticliterarysalon.com
The book includes extensive guidelines to embrace one’s authentic sexuality, decode an array of Kink fantasies, and access the ecstatic sexual depths inherent in anyone’s wildest sexual desires. Techniques are offered to negotiate honestly for what one desires, create profound trust between partners, and begin to resolve old shame, trauma and fear about one’s authentic sexuality.
Decoding Your Kink provides easy to follow practices for individuals and partners to safely share their deepest intimacies. Once trust is built, partners may access mind shattering orgasmic states offered by conscious expression of their most taboo Kinky yearnings.
Also included in the book are revealing and provocative analysis of people's kinkiest fantasies gleaned from over 2000 participants in the innovative Discover Your Personal Erotic Myth Survey. Fous developed this anonymous 40-question survey in support of his research into the nature of a recently visible sexual identity he defines as Fetishsexuality, aka Kink.
"This book conveys what I have learned about Conscious Kink and D/s-BDSM sexuality over the last 15 years as a Fetish-positive therapist, researcher and public advocate for sex-positive values. It includes reporting and case studies from the 100’s of singles and couples I’ve supported who desired to come to terms with old experiences of shame, fear and trauma, and understand how to embody their edgiest sexual fantasies in a mature, consensual, conscious manner.
I share hard earned insights from my personal journey into the Kink lifestyle as well." Galen Fous MTP
Decoding Your Kink, by leading Fetish Sex educator, researcher and sex-positive therapist Galen Fous MTP, offers ground-breaking psychological insight into the emerging global renaissance of sexual exploration, orientation and identity particularly in the realm of Kink.
"Galen Fous is a visionary, providing a clear and courageous roadmap for anyone looking to undo the shackles of societally induced sexual shame and go on a journey to discover his or her own Personal Erotic Myth." - Dr. Michael Aaron, NYC sex therapist.
“Galen Fous smooths the path and leads you through the predicaments, pleasures, enticements and outrageous glories of Kink. His genuine, unique voice is outstanding and heartwarming. A must read!” Limor Blockman, PhD, Clinical Sex Therapist, Playboy Radio Host, www.DrLimor.com
“Nobody struggles more with the feeling that their erotic desires are 'wrong' or 'broken' than the man or woman who otherwise fits easily into mainstream culture - the heterosexual man and woman into dominance and submission and BDSM. 'Decoding Your Kink' is worth its weight in diamonds to such strugglers, offering them a sensible and nurturing path to self-knowledge, self-acceptance and the erotic intensity we all crave and too few ever obtain.” - Janet W. Hardy, coauthor, The Ethical Slut, The New Bottoming Book and more
“Galen Fous’ unique insights on a subject much maligned and misunderstood is a primer for individuals interested in exploring the world of kink. It provides guidelines, case studies and personal experiences to assist the reader in shedding their shame and discovering their authentic sexuality.” – Susana Mayer, Ph.D., Clinical Sexologist, theEroticliterarysalon.com
The book includes extensive guidelines to embrace one’s authentic sexuality, decode an array of Kink fantasies, and access the ecstatic sexual depths inherent in anyone’s wildest sexual desires. Techniques are offered to negotiate honestly for what one desires, create profound trust between partners, and begin to resolve old shame, trauma and fear about one’s authentic sexuality.
Decoding Your Kink provides easy to follow practices for individuals and partners to safely share their deepest intimacies. Once trust is built, partners may access mind shattering orgasmic states offered by conscious expression of their most taboo Kinky yearnings.
Also included in the book are revealing and provocative analysis of people's kinkiest fantasies gleaned from over 2000 participants in the innovative Discover Your Personal Erotic Myth Survey. Fous developed this anonymous 40-question survey in support of his research into the nature of a recently visible sexual identity he defines as Fetishsexuality, aka Kink.
"This book conveys what I have learned about Conscious Kink and D/s-BDSM sexuality over the last 15 years as a Fetish-positive therapist, researcher and public advocate for sex-positive values. It includes reporting and case studies from the 100’s of singles and couples I’ve supported who desired to come to terms with old experiences of shame, fear and trauma, and understand how to embody their edgiest sexual fantasies in a mature, consensual, conscious manner.
I share hard earned insights from my personal journey into the Kink lifestyle as well." Galen Fous MTP
214 pages, Paperback
First published November 11, 2015
92 people are currently reading
436 people want to read
About the author
Galen Fous
3 books26 followersLeading Fetish Sex educator, researcher, author and sex-positive therapist Galen Fous MTP has worked with hundreds of men, women and couples who've sought support to be honest, free of shame and empowered in who they are sexually.
He regularly lectures at universities and grad schools on sex-positive psychological models and presents at a variety of Sexuality related conferences.
Galen has been interviewed and written for numerous media including Playboy radio, Mic, the Good Men Project and others for his innovative views and research on conscious sexuality and the nature of Fetishsexuality, aka Kink.
His private client practice is located in Portland, OR. In person, phone or Skype sessions can be arranged through his website GalenFous.com Look for his new book, “ Man on a Mission – defining your personal code of masculinity” in the summer of 2016.
He has a Master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from ITP, with an emphasis on authentic sexual expression.
He regularly lectures at universities and grad schools on sex-positive psychological models and presents at a variety of Sexuality related conferences.
Galen has been interviewed and written for numerous media including Playboy radio, Mic, the Good Men Project and others for his innovative views and research on conscious sexuality and the nature of Fetishsexuality, aka Kink.
His private client practice is located in Portland, OR. In person, phone or Skype sessions can be arranged through his website GalenFous.com Look for his new book, “ Man on a Mission – defining your personal code of masculinity” in the summer of 2016.
He has a Master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from ITP, with an emphasis on authentic sexual expression.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
December 14, 2015
Although it has been over 40 years since homosexuality was finally removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), those with "kinky" or fetish-sexual preferences, are still considered as having a sexual perversion/deviation and their adult, consensual sexual activities listed as one of the many paraphilic disorders in the DSM. Along with still considered a disorder under the DSM, the prudish, judgemental and sex-negative attitudes of our culture and many religions, also contributes to the shame, fear-of-judgement and stigmatization felt by those who enjoy “non-vanilla” sex. And given that infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce, and sexual incompatibility as a frequent reason that couples seek out counselling, one would think that we would all be willing to embrace the notions of sexual freedom and authentic sexuality without judgement. Unfortunately this is not the case and much like being homosexual 50 years ago, those with kinky or fetish-sexual interests are driven by culturally induced shame and judgements to keep their sexual interests underground and hidden, often even from their spouses unless it is "normal".
"Everyone wants to have great sex. Unfortunately, few do. To do so one has to venture beyond the narrow range the embedded cultural mythos deems sexually acceptable, and in some cases prohibits by law, civil or divine. Most of us keep our more primitive sexual creatures hidden and chained within the pruned, well-manicured, sterile landscape of the general culture. We are inhibited through fear and threat from venturing into the untamed, dangerous wilderness of our Eros." (Galen Fous)
These cultural and often religious definitions of what is "normal" or "abnormal/deviant" sexual activity is forcing many with kinky or fetish leanings to experience shame, judgement and a need to withhold their most authentic sexual expressions, often at the cost of damaging or losing a relationship or marriage. Something needs to change, much like it did for homosexuality decades ago, and Galen Fous is leading the way.
"Many who are paused at the threshold of their sexual desire are held in check by numerous unconscious, sex-negative, shaming beliefs and messages embedded since birth: 'Sex is dirty. Men only want one thing. A woman who wants sex is a slut. Good girls/boys don't do that. Don't touch yourself down there. That desire is sick, unnatural, inhuman, evil. It’s a sin. You'll go to hell'" (Galen Fous)
In his ground-breaking new book Decoding Your Kink, Glen Fous takes you on a personal exploration of his own struggles with the personal, cultural and professional implications of openly pursing one’s authentic sexuality in our sex-negative culture. Through his own painful experiences of being vindictively outed during a divorce, and 15+ years of sex-positive counselling services to hundreds of couples and individuals, Galen offers us all some much needed guidance along the pathway to sexual authenticity with this his open and honest approach to sexual expression and sexual freedom. Along with practical guidelines for sexual authenticity, Galen also helps to uncover the often hidden details of the mythical, spiritual and psycho-sexual aspects of our authentic and kinky sex-creature, which are decoded through Galen’s personal, professional and research-driven studies. He also show us how our culture of shame and judgement which inhibits the authentic and honest expression of our sexual nature, also maligns our sense of self, spiritual core and general sense of wholeness and psychological health.
"This book will include methods to enhance your connection physically, emotionally and psychologically to yourself and your partner(s). It will offer techniques to expand your sense of presence and embodiment. There will be guides to help untangle the shames, anxieties, and internalized judgements we inevitably acquire, growing up in a sex-negative culture, that interfere with our pleasure of sexual expression." (Galen Fous)
Few books on sexuality cover as much important, even necessary ground as Decoding Your Kink. Galen presents us not only with a comprehensive understanding of the damaging personal, professional and psychological effects of our sex-negative culture, but he gently provides us with a pathway out from under the culturally and often religiously induced shame and judgements which many experience outside the "vanilla-sex" arena. Galen offers us a moral, psychological and even spiritual foundation for those currently seeking to uncloak their sexual-creature from behind the mask of our sex-negative culture.
I have read many books on sexuality in the past 35 years and few I can recommend as strongly as Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous. And make no mistake about it, although the title "Decoding Your Kink" may appear to target the fetish-sexual and BDSM communities, the underlying message, practical guidelines and insights are directly relevant and invaluable for ALL types of sexual expression.
"In the realm of sexuality, I consider it sacred to engage and encourage my desires and those of my partner fully, free of shame, fear or judgement by others. It is the grandest celebration of our souls to express our sexuality honestly and passionately." (Galen Fous)
Are you are looking to explore your own "Sex Creature", your own "Personal Erotic Myth" your Eros? Are you are hoping to develop a more satisfying, fulfilling and even spiritually infused sex-life with your partner? Are you are looking to discover and release your own Personal Erotic Myth and your Wildest Sexual Desires and experience the most mind-blowing sex in your life? Then Decoding Your Myth by Galen Fous will most certainly get you, and your partner, headed down the right path to sexual liberation.
And if you would like to help out with Galen’s ground-breaking research, as well as uncovering some of your own mythic sex-creature, head over to his site and consider filling out the "Personal Erotic Myth Survey" [http://www.galenfous.com/pem] Completing the survey with your own partner is also a wonderfully playful and practical stepping-stone to beginning to explore and communicate your own sexual-creature, your Eros, with you partner(s).
"Everyone wants to have great sex. Unfortunately, few do. To do so one has to venture beyond the narrow range the embedded cultural mythos deems sexually acceptable, and in some cases prohibits by law, civil or divine. Most of us keep our more primitive sexual creatures hidden and chained within the pruned, well-manicured, sterile landscape of the general culture. We are inhibited through fear and threat from venturing into the untamed, dangerous wilderness of our Eros." (Galen Fous)
These cultural and often religious definitions of what is "normal" or "abnormal/deviant" sexual activity is forcing many with kinky or fetish leanings to experience shame, judgement and a need to withhold their most authentic sexual expressions, often at the cost of damaging or losing a relationship or marriage. Something needs to change, much like it did for homosexuality decades ago, and Galen Fous is leading the way.
"Many who are paused at the threshold of their sexual desire are held in check by numerous unconscious, sex-negative, shaming beliefs and messages embedded since birth: 'Sex is dirty. Men only want one thing. A woman who wants sex is a slut. Good girls/boys don't do that. Don't touch yourself down there. That desire is sick, unnatural, inhuman, evil. It’s a sin. You'll go to hell'" (Galen Fous)
In his ground-breaking new book Decoding Your Kink, Glen Fous takes you on a personal exploration of his own struggles with the personal, cultural and professional implications of openly pursing one’s authentic sexuality in our sex-negative culture. Through his own painful experiences of being vindictively outed during a divorce, and 15+ years of sex-positive counselling services to hundreds of couples and individuals, Galen offers us all some much needed guidance along the pathway to sexual authenticity with this his open and honest approach to sexual expression and sexual freedom. Along with practical guidelines for sexual authenticity, Galen also helps to uncover the often hidden details of the mythical, spiritual and psycho-sexual aspects of our authentic and kinky sex-creature, which are decoded through Galen’s personal, professional and research-driven studies. He also show us how our culture of shame and judgement which inhibits the authentic and honest expression of our sexual nature, also maligns our sense of self, spiritual core and general sense of wholeness and psychological health.
"This book will include methods to enhance your connection physically, emotionally and psychologically to yourself and your partner(s). It will offer techniques to expand your sense of presence and embodiment. There will be guides to help untangle the shames, anxieties, and internalized judgements we inevitably acquire, growing up in a sex-negative culture, that interfere with our pleasure of sexual expression." (Galen Fous)
Few books on sexuality cover as much important, even necessary ground as Decoding Your Kink. Galen presents us not only with a comprehensive understanding of the damaging personal, professional and psychological effects of our sex-negative culture, but he gently provides us with a pathway out from under the culturally and often religiously induced shame and judgements which many experience outside the "vanilla-sex" arena. Galen offers us a moral, psychological and even spiritual foundation for those currently seeking to uncloak their sexual-creature from behind the mask of our sex-negative culture.
I have read many books on sexuality in the past 35 years and few I can recommend as strongly as Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous. And make no mistake about it, although the title "Decoding Your Kink" may appear to target the fetish-sexual and BDSM communities, the underlying message, practical guidelines and insights are directly relevant and invaluable for ALL types of sexual expression.
"In the realm of sexuality, I consider it sacred to engage and encourage my desires and those of my partner fully, free of shame, fear or judgement by others. It is the grandest celebration of our souls to express our sexuality honestly and passionately." (Galen Fous)
Are you are looking to explore your own "Sex Creature", your own "Personal Erotic Myth" your Eros? Are you are hoping to develop a more satisfying, fulfilling and even spiritually infused sex-life with your partner? Are you are looking to discover and release your own Personal Erotic Myth and your Wildest Sexual Desires and experience the most mind-blowing sex in your life? Then Decoding Your Myth by Galen Fous will most certainly get you, and your partner, headed down the right path to sexual liberation.
And if you would like to help out with Galen’s ground-breaking research, as well as uncovering some of your own mythic sex-creature, head over to his site and consider filling out the "Personal Erotic Myth Survey" [http://www.galenfous.com/pem] Completing the survey with your own partner is also a wonderfully playful and practical stepping-stone to beginning to explore and communicate your own sexual-creature, your Eros, with you partner(s).
January 17, 2016
This is a phenomenal book that delves more into the psychological factors that play into being kinky and learning to overcome the fear and shame that sometimes people deal with and ultimately hold people back from exploring their true sexual desires. I love how the author includes many personal experiences and the experiences of some of his clients. This is a must read for those who are kinky and interested in exploring their personal kink.
August 14, 2021
It was an okay read 3.5 stars. There was a wealth of information that would be useful for someone just dipping their toes into kink and/or deconstructing their views on kink.
As a white/poly/pansexual/female I had difficultly connecting to the white/het/cis/male POV.
I also did not enjoy the use of the word Eros for sex I understand that the writer wanted to bring more meaning to the word but we are talking about sex/kink.
There also was a lot of higher education verbiage which is not an issue if you read at a higher level but if you are looking for a smoother read that does not require a lot of thesaurus use this may not be for you.
As a white/poly/pansexual/female I had difficultly connecting to the white/het/cis/male POV.
I also did not enjoy the use of the word Eros for sex I understand that the writer wanted to bring more meaning to the word but we are talking about sex/kink.
There also was a lot of higher education verbiage which is not an issue if you read at a higher level but if you are looking for a smoother read that does not require a lot of thesaurus use this may not be for you.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 10, 2016
Book was interesting but found this one just wasn't for me. I found alot of trouble keeping myself going to read this one. I hate doing a review saying I didn't get into a book but have to be honest. I have passed it on to a few friends as well to see if any of them can do a review as well. Thank you for the chance.
April 18, 2017
My mistake....
Once again, I'm at a loss. This book does a good job at what it promises: if you know what you want, this helps you figure out why and how to achieve your goals. However, I honestly thought it would help my husband and I find new kinks and fetishes to explore together. My bad!
Once again, I'm at a loss. This book does a good job at what it promises: if you know what you want, this helps you figure out why and how to achieve your goals. However, I honestly thought it would help my husband and I find new kinks and fetishes to explore together. My bad!
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews