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Tell Me So I Can Hear You: A Developmental Approach to Feedback for Educators
In Tell Me So I Can Hear You , Eleanor Drago-Severson and Jessica Blum-DeStefano show how education leaders can learn to deliver feedback in a way that strengthens relationships as well as performance and builds the capacity for growth. Drawing on constructive-developmental theory, the authors describe four stages of adult growth and development and explain how to differentiate feedback for colleagues with different “ways of knowing,” which
• Instrumental knowers, who tend to see things in black and white (“Did I do it right or wrong?”) and may need to develop the capacity for reflection.
• Socializing knowers, who are concerned with maintaining relationships (“What do you want me to do?”) and may need support developing their own ideas.
• Self-authoring knowers, who have strong ideologies and values (“How does this fit with my goals and vision?”) and may need help with perspective taking.
• Self-transformative knowers, who are able to examine issues from multiple points of view (“How can I understand this more deeply?”) and may need guidance in resolving tensions and contradictions.
The authors show how leaders can provide feedback in ways that “meet people where they are” while expanding the developmental capacities educators bring to their work. Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano provide real-life examples with practical strategies for creating a safe space for feedback, finding the right words, and bridging feedback and action. Tell Me So I Can Hear You offers invaluable guidance to help educators support a culture of learning in classrooms, schools, and districts.
• Instrumental knowers, who tend to see things in black and white (“Did I do it right or wrong?”) and may need to develop the capacity for reflection.
• Socializing knowers, who are concerned with maintaining relationships (“What do you want me to do?”) and may need support developing their own ideas.
• Self-authoring knowers, who have strong ideologies and values (“How does this fit with my goals and vision?”) and may need help with perspective taking.
• Self-transformative knowers, who are able to examine issues from multiple points of view (“How can I understand this more deeply?”) and may need guidance in resolving tensions and contradictions.
The authors show how leaders can provide feedback in ways that “meet people where they are” while expanding the developmental capacities educators bring to their work. Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano provide real-life examples with practical strategies for creating a safe space for feedback, finding the right words, and bridging feedback and action. Tell Me So I Can Hear You offers invaluable guidance to help educators support a culture of learning in classrooms, schools, and districts.
224 pages, Paperback
Published February 9, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
August 12, 2016
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Tell Me So I Can Hear You by Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano
There is a very good book on Feedback written by Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano. The title of this beautiful book is Tell Me So I can Hear You. It is a must read for all. This book offers a blueprint for an innovative way of feedback mechanism. Though it is written for education industry but the basic principles work everywhere. It emphasizes the importance of connectivity in the feedback process. Any such mechanism must connect the whole chain so well that it inspires and improves all individuals. In fact, the book is quite well in this regard.
The authors of Tell Me So I Can Hear You present a new theory of adult learners. As a matter of fact, it follows the developmental theory by Robert Kegan. As the book suggests there are four main categories of adult learners. The categorization is on the basis of the way these adult learners make meaning. And this philosophy applies on global front irrespective of culture and language. These four kinds of adult learners in the book Tell Me So I Can Hear You are as below:
Self-Transforming Knowers: These learners have an excellent connect all the time. They always challenge and intrigue contradictions and paradoxes. And this attitude of challenging everything that is conflicting or creating doubts only limits to themselves. It stays with them wherever they are. As a matter of fact, it is so deep-rooted that it reflects in their behavior in the organization they work for. Also, it is equally present in their relationships. Such knowers are always eager to get feedback. Rather they are the highest collaboration seekers. This is what they strive on. Rather they crave for it all the time. Finally, it helps them in growth.
Socializing Knowers: These learners are a great asset for society. Because they always strive to address society’s expectations and goals. Rather their main concern is to have the approval of important others. That is why they are other-orienting. As a matter of fact, there is a minimal gap between what they think of themselves and what their supervisor, peers, and management think about them.
Instrumental Knowers: These are rule-loving people. They live for rules. Rather they go weird in the absence of rules. Hence if there are no proper rules, norms, and guidelines in the organization, it impacts them badly. They always crave for following the most appropriate way to do any kind of job at hand.
Self-Authoring Knowers: Such learners are self-reflective. They are very creative by nature. As a matter of fact, they attain maturity at quite an early stage of career. While they have matured values and standards, they are quite generative. Such knowers reflect what they are. In need, they introspect their own decisions. And then they form the basis of their next course of actions. They are high self-believers. In every action, they demonstrate their own competence. Finally, they are good in sharing their ideas.
Overall, Tell Me So I Can Hear You is a fantastic book. A book that helps in clarification of all ideas related to Feedback and learning.
Tell Me So I Can Hear You by Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano
There is a very good book on Feedback written by Drago-Severson and Blum-DeStefano. The title of this beautiful book is Tell Me So I can Hear You. It is a must read for all. This book offers a blueprint for an innovative way of feedback mechanism. Though it is written for education industry but the basic principles work everywhere. It emphasizes the importance of connectivity in the feedback process. Any such mechanism must connect the whole chain so well that it inspires and improves all individuals. In fact, the book is quite well in this regard.
The authors of Tell Me So I Can Hear You present a new theory of adult learners. As a matter of fact, it follows the developmental theory by Robert Kegan. As the book suggests there are four main categories of adult learners. The categorization is on the basis of the way these adult learners make meaning. And this philosophy applies on global front irrespective of culture and language. These four kinds of adult learners in the book Tell Me So I Can Hear You are as below:
Self-Transforming Knowers: These learners have an excellent connect all the time. They always challenge and intrigue contradictions and paradoxes. And this attitude of challenging everything that is conflicting or creating doubts only limits to themselves. It stays with them wherever they are. As a matter of fact, it is so deep-rooted that it reflects in their behavior in the organization they work for. Also, it is equally present in their relationships. Such knowers are always eager to get feedback. Rather they are the highest collaboration seekers. This is what they strive on. Rather they crave for it all the time. Finally, it helps them in growth.
Socializing Knowers: These learners are a great asset for society. Because they always strive to address society’s expectations and goals. Rather their main concern is to have the approval of important others. That is why they are other-orienting. As a matter of fact, there is a minimal gap between what they think of themselves and what their supervisor, peers, and management think about them.
Instrumental Knowers: These are rule-loving people. They live for rules. Rather they go weird in the absence of rules. Hence if there are no proper rules, norms, and guidelines in the organization, it impacts them badly. They always crave for following the most appropriate way to do any kind of job at hand.
Self-Authoring Knowers: Such learners are self-reflective. They are very creative by nature. As a matter of fact, they attain maturity at quite an early stage of career. While they have matured values and standards, they are quite generative. Such knowers reflect what they are. In need, they introspect their own decisions. And then they form the basis of their next course of actions. They are high self-believers. In every action, they demonstrate their own competence. Finally, they are good in sharing their ideas.
Overall, Tell Me So I Can Hear You is a fantastic book. A book that helps in clarification of all ideas related to Feedback and learning.
September 28, 2016
Thoroughly interesting way to look at adult ways of knowing. Helped explain how people react to PL. Looking forward to my conversation with the author at Columbia U.
September 23, 2022
I'll be honest, I didn't love this book. I don't think that what the authors are saying here is necessarily wrong so much as too narrow in its scope. I think it's difficult to believe this is the ONLY thing that you need to know about people in order to offer effective feedback, though I don't discount what they're saying. It did also bother me that despite getting a great deal of training over the years and doing a great deal of reading about giving feedback, I could not pinpoint which of the four types of people I was based upon this book. Of course, they tell you flat out that the only way to really know for sure is to do a session with them (which, I imagine likely costs a great deal), and so here's the thing. If you can't even really know yourself without doing this, how could you totally know another person's style?
I think the premise is not necessarily wrong--there are some people who need straightforward, factual feedback, and some who take things more emotionally. But to spend 200 pages about this when in the end there's no real way to know who anyone is...that's a tough sell for me.
Not a bad book, but would not be choice as the one thing you need to read in order to give feedback effectively.
I think the premise is not necessarily wrong--there are some people who need straightforward, factual feedback, and some who take things more emotionally. But to spend 200 pages about this when in the end there's no real way to know who anyone is...that's a tough sell for me.
Not a bad book, but would not be choice as the one thing you need to read in order to give feedback effectively.
November 23, 2023
The statement that resonated most with from this amazing book is that "There is great power and hope in noticing the wings of promise in people with whom we interact each and every day, and in offering and being offered feedback for growth" - I look forward to implementing my action plan as it relates to feedback for growth!
May 31, 2021
A focused book on a challenging topic for leaders - feedback. The authors nicely extend the prior work of Kegan and Lahey, offering practical applications for how we can communicate with colleagues effectively.
March 21, 2024
Very chewy book as it were. Same as a similar book a read it gives you new information for the first 80 or so pages and then the rest is example after example, usually very similar to the other and then circling back again. Very repetitive with some helpful tips sprinkled in.
October 20, 2023
Read for Grad Class. It was good with a lot of applicable things to providing feedback not only for educators but also for adults in general.
November 24, 2024
Read for graduate school! Definitely a book that gave insightful knowledge on how to give feedback for different types of people.
February 20, 2016
Nice to have a new piece of "feedback literature" focused on education. Good cases, reflective questions." Maybe over-reliant on kegan/lahey construct
August 21, 2016
My review of this book will be available on the Reflective Teaching website.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews