Like Father, Like Son: Getting Free from People, Patterns, and Problems

by Pete Alwinson

Beyond Trying to Be a “Real” Man

What do men need in the twenty-first century? There are so many opinions–some think the answer is a masculine to-do list. Others give detailed directions on how to become a “real” man. Those things can be helpful, but do they get to the core of the identity issues that men are facing today? You can’t know who you are and who you are meant to be without knowing the love of your Father–that is, your Father in heaven. Without knowing the Father’s love and acceptance, men are adrift looking for identity in imperfect relationships or cultural norms about manhood. But knowing God’s fatherly love changes everything. A man who is forgiven and accepted by his heavenly Father is free to become like him. Living out of the love of God the Father changes everything for his sons.

Instead of telling men how to recover and reclaim their masculinity, Pete Alwinson invites men to recover and reclaim an intimate, growing relationship with their heavenly Father and live out of that identity in their particular calling as sons, fathers, brothers, friends. Using personal stories and anecdotes from his many years of men’s ministry, Pete shows men that the way forward in life and relationships is through their growing relationship with their heavenly Father.

176 pages, Paperback

Published November 10, 2015

Reviews

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who used to struggle a lot to believe God loved me, and still have a little difficulty with viewing God as my father; I was looking forward to reading this book. The author did a great job on writing a book about God being a father to we men.

The chapters cover the character traits of God as a father. Traits such as God as the welcoming father, the identity-building father, the guiding father, and several others. This is the author's first book, and is is definitely one worth reading on this topic. I not only found it interesting and easy to read, but I also was helped and encouraged by it to view God more as a loving father instead of a demanding tyrant as I used to. He uses examples through the book to make some of his points that make the book even more interesting,

Each chapter ends with a "take it to heart" section that has six questions for further thought and introspection.

This book is definitely written for men, and I highly recommend it to any guy whether or not he has trouble viewing God as a Father.

[Brandon H. · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's clear that the author has a passion for seeing men grow in grace and become the mature sons that God saved them to become. That was noble and refreshing to see. However, I didn't care for this book. It's not that what he said was wrong or incorrect - I agreed with a lot of what the author wrote. But I found his writing style lacking. Besides being wordy with irrelevant statements that cluttered up a lot of his sentences and distracted from the subject of those sentences, the themes in many of his chapters were under-developed. He quoted others often but that didn't make up for the lack of depth in this book. For these reasons, I can only give it 2 stars.

[Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful book. Pretty basic from a biblical depth standpoint, but some excellent application from a life of ministry to men and the church.

"Brothers, may the grace of God assure you that because of Jesus and Jesus alone you are beloved sons. And may that assurance allow His glory to free you to live large. May your complete reliance on Jesus drive the religious crazy, give hope to the broken, and fill you with deep joy. May the Fahter's grace make you a man of grace. Life Father, like son."

[Rob Whitaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very encouraging as our earthly father relationship can be messy. It places the priority on our Heavenly Father. Even if you get that principle it is still a worth while book as a reminder and devotion to Christ! Hope you enjoy!

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for men

[Stephen Willcox · Rating 4 out of 5]

The concept is powerfully and compelling made in the first few chapters. The journaling with questions at the end I found helpful. This is a great book and I commend it highly!

[Mike Maroon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Straight up, this book has influenced me as much or more than any book not called "The Bible". Here pastor and author Pete Alwinson reinforces something every Christian man should know. The problem is we've allowed our personalities and lives to be shaped more by our relationship, or lack of, with our human fathers than by our heavenly Father. The subtitle says it all, "How Knowing God As Father Changes Men". Why, because at Alwinson writes, "A man's core identity is that he is a special creation of God, an image-bearer, and more relationally, a son of God." Our human father may well love us, but he is merely human and flawed, and in many cases absent, not really interested in investing the time or having the wisdom to raise anything more than another flawed man. God will never fail us and he accepts with all our shortcomings. He's always there.

Our heavenly Father is never angry at us. God knows us inside and out. He always knows what's best for us, and best of all, He'll never treat us like we treat Him, thankfully. And, unlike some fathers, He allows us to know Him, through creation and scripture. We Americans live in a world addicted to achievement and approval seeking. You know what? God, through jesus, already achieved everything that needs achieving and we don't need to seek His approval, we already have it. Or, as the author states it, "The hard work to gain your Father's approval has already been accomplished. There is nothing left for you to do."

God, through his word and Jesus' example teaches us everything we need to know to be "real men", Men who know that real strength is not in power or money or achievement, but in loving and serving and kindness. He teaches how to love our children and spouses. How to give more than we receive. He shows us how to raise our children. We will fail at this often, but we will never earn the disapproval of our Father.

We don't have to be defined by our culture or our relationship with our human father. Alwinson reminds us that, "as men changed by grace who now belong to their heavenly Father, we have to unlearn our old way of life and learn a whole new way of living." Like Father, Like Son is dedicated to showing us that path and it well succeeds.

[Yonasan Aryeh · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first foray into the world of "men" books was "Wild at Heart." That book was inspiring and taught me how to be a father, but also discouraging in that I am far too techy and non-natury to really connect with what the author was suggesting. In the end, I had to accept I did not live up to the author's standards, but that I was still good enough to be a dad. This was challenging for me for a while, and I eventually overcame it, but the problem I encountered never changed: there are far to many books about fatherhood out there that leave the dad overwhelmed and underprepared. Pete Alwinson aims to change that with this book.

Alwinson's first pages are much like the first pages of other books I have come across..."tell me about your father." That stung for me personally. Having grown up with a father that wasn't there when I needed him (he was there sometimes, but he was gone way more often than he was present, and I only remember celebrating one birthday with him) and a stepfather that didn't understand me (I'm not a buff, gruff, mechanical mind - more of an indoors, techy, soft hands kind of man), I felt like those being counseled by Alwinson. The fact is that not having a father figure can make it quite difficult to be father one day. What do you go off of? Alwinson's solution, and the one I had to ultimately accept in order to survive as long as I have? Being fathered by G-d.

What does Alwinson offer? He offers a father that can't be replaced, that knows you (and me), is known, is welcoming, approval-giving, identity-building, freedom-giving, adventuring, guiding, wisdom-giving, and grace-giving. Does he deliver? That's the question, isn't it?

Does Alwinson deliver on his premise? Is this fatherhood book different than all the rest? Does it give hope instead of crushing it? Possibly. Alwinson covers quite a lot of theology in the pages of his work, and for many, it will be just what they need. For me, however, it felt light and missing a certain element. The essence it is missing I found in "Wild at Heart," but the hope I couldn't find there I managed to piece together with this book.

My recommendation? Read the book, and with a grain of salt. "Wild at Heart" gives great content but delivers little action, guidance, and hope. "Like Father, Like Son" struggles with the content but gives action points, specific steps, and a realm of possibility. Between the two of them is a great one-two punch to help every man be enabled for fatherhood, as long as their heart is willing...

Psychologists have long figured out how crucial an active father figure is to a child's health. Lower chances of criminality, greater chance of success and happiness, etc. The stats are practically neverending on how much a dad is needed. Yet so many fathers were absent for this millennial generation, which means there are a lot of young men out there that need this book. The solution? Read it and pass it on - it'll help to be somewhat prepared rather than needing and having not...

Disclosure: I have received a reviewer copy and/or payment in exchange for an honest review of the product mentioned in this post.

[Christy Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

disclosure I was provided with a free copy by litfuse publicity group for my unbiased review.

I of course am not a father, but I do have a Heavenly Father that has held me accountable for 3 young men and I chose to read and review this book based on that fact because their actual fathers are not involved in their life, but my husband is who they call father. I was looking into this book to see how the better guide my boys to be sons more like their Heavenly father. I do have a son who is a father to one boy Carter and one girl Zoey. I feel he is at a point in his life where he really needs this book that is why it will be his Christmas present from me this year.
As someone who used to struggle a lot to believe God loved me and he was mine and my children’s ultimate father I learned this from a singles mom group at a Church I used to attend.

This book is a must read for those young men whose fathers were not involved or very affectionate to them Pete shared about fathers not engaging in their sons lives leading a void in their heart. I know I am not a perfect person at all but I can say my oldest son suffers from this very much his dad always put his drinking and friends before his kids. My son in turn has led a hard life when he was younger I was a lot more lenient with him because his dad was not there. To try to engage his father I lived 30 minutes away but my son played baseball less than 10 min from his dad but yet his dad never came my son played little league football and middle school football as well as wrestling and his dad did not come to one single game or match. I know I seem to be getting off of the subject but even though I am a mom this book pretty much described what my son has gone through and where he needs to be.
The chapters cover the character traits of God as a father. Traits such as God as the welcoming father, the identity-building father, the guiding father, and several others. This is the author’s first book, and is definitely one worth reading on this topic. I not only found it interesting and easy to read, but I also was helped and encouraged by it to view God more as a loving father instead of a demanding tyrant as I used to. He uses examples through the book to make some of his points that make the book even more interesting. I even found attributes in this book that I could put to use as a mother.

Each chapter ends with a “take it to heart” section that has six questions for further thought and introspection.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Like Father, Like Son, Pete Alwinson explores how vital the role of fathers have on their children. He shared the dangers of fathers not connecting and engaging with their sons and how they left a whole void inside their hearts. Pete shared one story about how a young boy was forever changed when his mother told him the harsh truth that he was conceived in an affair and his father stated that he didn’t want anything to do with “it”. This hurt the young boy and affected his entire life. He suffered from nightmares until he dug into scriptures. He was changed by believing that he was loved by His Heavenly Father. Pete explained how God becomes our Father and how we need to find our identity in Christ. God designed us in His image and He calls us His children and He declared that we are loved.

I would recommend this life changing book to any men especially to those who didn’t have a very affection father and they are ready to seek their Heavenly Father. This book taught me a lot about my identity in Christ and how God has blessed us with every spiritual blessings. God has already forgiven us for all our sins and He sent His only Son to die where we could one day live forever with our loving Creator. This also means we don’t have to live with a performance based mindset. We don’t have to live from approval from others, because God has already accepted us. This book has the potential to change reader’s lives and help them to know their Heavenly Father.

“I received a review copy of Like Father, Like Son from Litfuse for this review.”

[Steven Hinkle · Rating 3 out of 5]

After forty years of ministering to men, Pete shares (through well though out words and strengthening quotes Scriptures) the importance of love and a relationship with our heavenly father that changes everything for a man.

Many of us struggle to learn how to be a man because we were abandoned in different ways by the most important man in our lives – our fathers. The pain is real and we start our search on trying to figure it all out. Alwinson explains that quite a few young men have been hurt to a point of complacency and confusion and “aren’t taking charge of their lives and instead are passively waiting for life and a career to happen to them.” So, what do we do about it?

Our earthly dads have focused on “actions of manhood” instead of love. The author vividly demonstrates the scenario when explaining that many young men feel like an “it” instead of a son. But, it doesn’t have to be that way! Pete reminds us that our “value is only as high as our current owner.” When the owner changes, our value changes. It’s should be about who we are in Christ. Our identity is defined by our relationship with Him!

Our life is all about a new adventure in seeing our heavenly father in everything! When a man embraces the fact that he is a special creation and image-bearer his core identity is strengthened realizing his great “incomparable worth and high status.”

I highly recommend this outstanding book. Be prepared to find some great advice as a man and father in the areas of acceptance, approval, addictions, life adventure and more!

[Virginia Garrett · Rating 2 out of 5]

"If you've ever finished a book about how to be a man and felt worse than when you started, you need Like Father, Like Son. Forty years of men's ministry has convinced Pete Alwinson--and will soon convince you--that knowing God's fatherly love changes everything for a man."

So reads the back of the book by Pete Alwinson, Like Father, Like Son, How Knowing God as Father Changes Men. It is a true statement, but one that I think has been said many times before.

I have long heard ( and wholeheartedly agree) of the importance of men, I'm a fan of men. I agree wholeheartedly that fathers are important. I know how important it is to have a good view of God as a father, and how we perceive God in that role changes us. (yes, even though I'm not now, nor ever will be a father.)

This book, though well-written, is more than a little redundant, at least in my opinion. Mr. Alwinson didn't say anything different in chapter 5 than he said in chapter 1. As I read I found myself getting frustrated because it had already been said.

Mr. Alwinson did point out very well the importance of having a right relationship with God. He reiterated the importance of completely relying on God to help us parent. He showed us time and again the importance of fathers--and fathers who are present. He talked about different types of fathers and how they are (or should be) all rolled into one.

If you're a father, or will be a father someday, you might want to check this book out.



I received a free copy of this book from Litfuse for the purpose of review. All opinions are my own.

[BookzBookzBookz · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We're [men] not only to wield the plow but to bear the sword...To be a man is to stand up and be counted when there is danger or other evil."
Richard Phillips

Like Father Like Son by Pete Alwinson is written by a Pastor who sees men as Warriors. A father can nurture, protect and prepare a young man for life's adventures and adversities, feed his spiritual thirst and develop a Christian theme or completely destroy.

This book interested me because my husband didn't grow up with the most supportive father and found it difficult to raise our son. We'd visited many marriage programs and family services that catered to both my husband and son as focus, but nothing every got through. This book helped break the barrier. It allowed him to see the changes within himself so he can then properly train our son in the manner he should go.

​ I also took the opportunity to see myself in this book, finding Christian attributes that could be applied towards myself and daughter...

For more on this review: http://tinyurl.com/nhwrqx8
Book provided by Litfuse Publicity Group for an honest review.

[Jalynn Patterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Review:
A man has a difficult go of it, in my opinion. In this sin filled world he has a lot of demons to fight. Who said that women are the only ones that get hurt by all that this world dishes out? And let me go on to say that it can damage a person so much so that it will damage their relationship with God, himself.

In Like Father Like son the author takes us down a road through the things he has learned leading men's ministry. Through the things he feels that pulls men away from and gives us insight into the things that point us directly towards him.

I know my husband has had a very hard time with trusting God and I believe this is a book that can benefit all men. They need to know how God views them and ho to imitate Him more if they are every going to make it in this world.

The author is thoroughly researched and I feel has had plenty of experience with these kind of things and can actually advise our husbands, fathers, and sons on the subject. A great gift idea this holiday season!

**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from the author.

[Missica Skeens pullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book for my fiance to read. It really does a great job of putting God in the forefront, and showing how God is our Father, and men can be better men by understanding this, and living life with this understanding in mind. The critical thinking questions at the end of each chapter also add a nice touch for more thought.

I received a copy of this in exchange for my honest review. All opinions expressed are my own or those of my family.

[Erin M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wholeheartedly agree about the importance of fathers in men's lives. I also liked the chapter "The Wisdom-Giving Father." However, this book was redundant in several places.