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Mad Girl
Bryony Gordon has OCD.
It's the snake in her brain that has told her ever since she was a teenager that her world is about to come crashing down: that her family might die if she doesn't repeat a phrase 5 times, or that she might have murdered someone and forgotten about it. It's caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. And Bryony is sick of it. Keeping silent about her illness has given it a cachet it simply does not deserve, so here she shares her story with trademark wit and dazzling honesty.
A hugely successful columnist for the Telegraph, a bestselling author, and a happily married mother of an adorable daughter, Bryony has managed to laugh and live well while simultaneously grappling with her illness. Now it's time for her to speak out. Writing with her characteristic warmth and dark humour, Bryony explores her relationship with her OCD and depression as only she can.
Mad Girl is a shocking, funny, unpredictable, heart-wrenching, raw and jaw-droppingly truthful celebration of life with mental illness.
It's the snake in her brain that has told her ever since she was a teenager that her world is about to come crashing down: that her family might die if she doesn't repeat a phrase 5 times, or that she might have murdered someone and forgotten about it. It's caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. And Bryony is sick of it. Keeping silent about her illness has given it a cachet it simply does not deserve, so here she shares her story with trademark wit and dazzling honesty.
A hugely successful columnist for the Telegraph, a bestselling author, and a happily married mother of an adorable daughter, Bryony has managed to laugh and live well while simultaneously grappling with her illness. Now it's time for her to speak out. Writing with her characteristic warmth and dark humour, Bryony explores her relationship with her OCD and depression as only she can.
Mad Girl is a shocking, funny, unpredictable, heart-wrenching, raw and jaw-droppingly truthful celebration of life with mental illness.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published June 7, 2016
456 people are currently reading
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 578 reviews
June 15, 2016
“… mental illness does not always fit the binary, black-and-white terms given to it in the media, books and films. This is also why it is such a bastard. It is good at hiding, evading capture, putting on a show. It is the world’s greatest actor.”
Mental illness memoirs are often written by those in the public eye, who type earnestly about their time spent in bed or struggling without ever addressing the fact that despite their health issues, their lives have hints of glamour and privilege that are completely ignored in their narrative of suffering. It’s not that these things make you immune to mental illness, of course, but they do mean that it’s easier to afford a doctor, or counselling, or time off work. Working-class sufferers of mental illness don’t write books about it; we don’t seem to be interested in that.
Bryony Gordon, successful columnist with the Sunday Telegraph, deviates from the typical pattern not because of her lack of privilege – this is a lady doing well for herself – but because she acknowledges that even as she was in a very dark hole mentally, her work was going well. She writes about the fun stuff, about how her drug and alcohol dependency facilitated both socialising for work and penning cheeky columns about her life as a ‘single lady’. Though, as she admits, the older one gets in this role, the more awkward it becomes and the more pitying looks one gets: “No single woman in her thirties wants to be described as a character. We should – it’s good to be a character, much better than relying solely on your looks – but we don’t.”
This is Gordon’s second memoir, but it’s her first to address the OCD that kicked in aged twelve and had her on medication by age seventeen. Despite the severity of this condition – and she conveys the repetitive, terrifying, unstoppable thoughts expertly on the page – she also handles it with a lightness of touch and casual asides, cheerfully acknowledging her worries about her alopecia preoccupying her over things like bringing the iron to work so that she won’t have to worry about it having been left on. She is scared all of the time: worried she’s done something terrible despite all evidence to the contrary. Worried she’s capable of it.
This is the origin point of other problems that plague her throughout her twenties and thirties. She develops an eating disorder, reflecting that, “My body had never felt like mine, not really. I realise that now, with age and lines and fat and the tiniest bit of wisdom. Does any young woman feel as if her body is hers, anyway?” Making herself throw up feels normal, yet it also must be hidden. On the surface it looks like she’s doing well. Later, when she recovers from this and stops taking cocaine, the weight gain is visibly disapproved of by various peers, even as she is healthier and happier. We don’t mind how unhappy women are if they’re thin, after all.
Then there are the bad relationships, the toxic liaisons that she’s particularly susceptible to in a quest for passion and excitement. While she takes responsibility for her commitment to these various problematic men, it’s also clear that they are the sort who seek out vulnerable women. And after all, she is ‘crazy’ – it’s so much easier to gaslight a girlfriend who already has a diagnosis.
“Relationships like this, they creep up on you slowly. They wouldn’t happen any other way. Like praying mantises, they dance seductively in front of you to lure you in before biting your head off. They work by stealth, and before you know it you are declaring undying love to a man who seems sometimes to hate you. Except what you’re feeling isn’t love, not really. It’s fear. It’s fear of him, fear of yourself, fear of being alone.”
There is a happy ending of sorts to all this – Gordon is now married with a small girl – but despite some of the coping mechanisms having been put in their place, she still has OCD, and is still prone to relapses. An epilogue reveals how writing the book triggered one of these, how difficult it is to write about mental illness without it tugging at you. The honesty here makes this a more, rather than less, optimistic read. Good things can happen to messed-up girls and women. But they also need to help themselves, to be open to it, to do what they can and seek help for the things they can’t. This is a book that’s both breezy and smart, funny and insightful. Gordon is the antithesis of self-pitying without being a Pollyanna, and is firm about the purpose of the book: not to lecture anyone else, but to share her story in the hope that others might speak up too.
Mental illness memoirs are often written by those in the public eye, who type earnestly about their time spent in bed or struggling without ever addressing the fact that despite their health issues, their lives have hints of glamour and privilege that are completely ignored in their narrative of suffering. It’s not that these things make you immune to mental illness, of course, but they do mean that it’s easier to afford a doctor, or counselling, or time off work. Working-class sufferers of mental illness don’t write books about it; we don’t seem to be interested in that.
Bryony Gordon, successful columnist with the Sunday Telegraph, deviates from the typical pattern not because of her lack of privilege – this is a lady doing well for herself – but because she acknowledges that even as she was in a very dark hole mentally, her work was going well. She writes about the fun stuff, about how her drug and alcohol dependency facilitated both socialising for work and penning cheeky columns about her life as a ‘single lady’. Though, as she admits, the older one gets in this role, the more awkward it becomes and the more pitying looks one gets: “No single woman in her thirties wants to be described as a character. We should – it’s good to be a character, much better than relying solely on your looks – but we don’t.”
This is Gordon’s second memoir, but it’s her first to address the OCD that kicked in aged twelve and had her on medication by age seventeen. Despite the severity of this condition – and she conveys the repetitive, terrifying, unstoppable thoughts expertly on the page – she also handles it with a lightness of touch and casual asides, cheerfully acknowledging her worries about her alopecia preoccupying her over things like bringing the iron to work so that she won’t have to worry about it having been left on. She is scared all of the time: worried she’s done something terrible despite all evidence to the contrary. Worried she’s capable of it.
This is the origin point of other problems that plague her throughout her twenties and thirties. She develops an eating disorder, reflecting that, “My body had never felt like mine, not really. I realise that now, with age and lines and fat and the tiniest bit of wisdom. Does any young woman feel as if her body is hers, anyway?” Making herself throw up feels normal, yet it also must be hidden. On the surface it looks like she’s doing well. Later, when she recovers from this and stops taking cocaine, the weight gain is visibly disapproved of by various peers, even as she is healthier and happier. We don’t mind how unhappy women are if they’re thin, after all.
Then there are the bad relationships, the toxic liaisons that she’s particularly susceptible to in a quest for passion and excitement. While she takes responsibility for her commitment to these various problematic men, it’s also clear that they are the sort who seek out vulnerable women. And after all, she is ‘crazy’ – it’s so much easier to gaslight a girlfriend who already has a diagnosis.
“Relationships like this, they creep up on you slowly. They wouldn’t happen any other way. Like praying mantises, they dance seductively in front of you to lure you in before biting your head off. They work by stealth, and before you know it you are declaring undying love to a man who seems sometimes to hate you. Except what you’re feeling isn’t love, not really. It’s fear. It’s fear of him, fear of yourself, fear of being alone.”
There is a happy ending of sorts to all this – Gordon is now married with a small girl – but despite some of the coping mechanisms having been put in their place, she still has OCD, and is still prone to relapses. An epilogue reveals how writing the book triggered one of these, how difficult it is to write about mental illness without it tugging at you. The honesty here makes this a more, rather than less, optimistic read. Good things can happen to messed-up girls and women. But they also need to help themselves, to be open to it, to do what they can and seek help for the things they can’t. This is a book that’s both breezy and smart, funny and insightful. Gordon is the antithesis of self-pitying without being a Pollyanna, and is firm about the purpose of the book: not to lecture anyone else, but to share her story in the hope that others might speak up too.
April 16, 2023
I find myself extremely frustrated with this book!
On one hand, it's very accessible, easy to digest, honest, humanising, warm.
On the other hand, the author makes continuous attempts to normalise her own illness at the expense of others. For example: 'It's not as if I'm psychotic. It's not as if I'm losing the plot.', and '"Referrals are essential for women with bipolar affective disorder; schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder; previous postpartum psychosis; severe depression." It stuns me to read this now. At the time I thought was being referred for some therapy, but now I realise that I was being flagged up as a serious concern. I was essentially being put on a watch list.'
She ends the book with the concept that people suffering mental afflictions are 'normal' and 'just like us', but I'm not convinced that she really feels that way due to the numerous (not constant, but substantial) references she makes to her being ~not like those crazy people you hear about~.
In the epilogue, she talks about having set up a social event for mentally ill people, which is amazing. But she feels the need to point out that 'nobody is rocking back and fourth. Nobody looks strange'. She attempts to affirm that the mentally ill are ~just like everyone else~ while perpetuating stereotypes and creating a divide between her experience of mental illness, and experiences which include behaviours she is unfamiliar with, such as stimming or 'looking strange'. Which begs the question: if someone is so depressed that they can't shower or be bothered about looking 'normal', are they no longer 'just like everyone else'?
She recognises her privilege in receiving 'private healthcare I am fortunate enough to have through my job', that 'this [referring to the amount of people who do not receive help] approach to mental health has to change', and even states that she 'wonder(s) what happens to all the people who have breakdowns and can't afford to go to posh doctors, the ones who don't have anyone they feel they can call. It is almost beyond comprehension.'. And yet it isn't beyond her comprehension; she has acknowledged that there are people who 'look strange', who 'rock back and fourth', who 'are psychotic', who are 'a serious concern' - but she doesn't include those people in her notion of 'us'. She uses them as contrast to highlight how 'normal and just like everyone else' she is.
I appreciate and applaud the author's bravery and candour in describing her life with OCD, and the world would absolutely be a better place if more people did what she is doing. I just can't get past the lack of empathy and understanding towards people less fortunate than herself.
On one hand, it's very accessible, easy to digest, honest, humanising, warm.
On the other hand, the author makes continuous attempts to normalise her own illness at the expense of others. For example: 'It's not as if I'm psychotic. It's not as if I'm losing the plot.', and '"Referrals are essential for women with bipolar affective disorder; schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder; previous postpartum psychosis; severe depression." It stuns me to read this now. At the time I thought was being referred for some therapy, but now I realise that I was being flagged up as a serious concern. I was essentially being put on a watch list.'
She ends the book with the concept that people suffering mental afflictions are 'normal' and 'just like us', but I'm not convinced that she really feels that way due to the numerous (not constant, but substantial) references she makes to her being ~not like those crazy people you hear about~.
In the epilogue, she talks about having set up a social event for mentally ill people, which is amazing. But she feels the need to point out that 'nobody is rocking back and fourth. Nobody looks strange'. She attempts to affirm that the mentally ill are ~just like everyone else~ while perpetuating stereotypes and creating a divide between her experience of mental illness, and experiences which include behaviours she is unfamiliar with, such as stimming or 'looking strange'. Which begs the question: if someone is so depressed that they can't shower or be bothered about looking 'normal', are they no longer 'just like everyone else'?
She recognises her privilege in receiving 'private healthcare I am fortunate enough to have through my job', that 'this [referring to the amount of people who do not receive help] approach to mental health has to change', and even states that she 'wonder(s) what happens to all the people who have breakdowns and can't afford to go to posh doctors, the ones who don't have anyone they feel they can call. It is almost beyond comprehension.'. And yet it isn't beyond her comprehension; she has acknowledged that there are people who 'look strange', who 'rock back and fourth', who 'are psychotic', who are 'a serious concern' - but she doesn't include those people in her notion of 'us'. She uses them as contrast to highlight how 'normal and just like everyone else' she is.
I appreciate and applaud the author's bravery and candour in describing her life with OCD, and the world would absolutely be a better place if more people did what she is doing. I just can't get past the lack of empathy and understanding towards people less fortunate than herself.
August 28, 2017
Bryony Gordon was a stranger to me before I read this book, based on a recommendation and my attempt to add more non-fiction to my reading list. Having finished it, I feel I know her personally. Her memoir is open, chatty, at times frustrating, at others relatable, funny and tragic. Gordon's troubles are laid bare in a manner that is quite brave and hopefully therapeutic for her, too. While this wasn't the sort of book I couldn't put down, it was engaging and I think it is certainly worth reading for people trying to understand mental health better or for those seeking comfort and companionship in knowing they are not alone in their struggle. Recommended!
Find more reviews and bookish fun at http://www.princessandpen.com
Find more reviews and bookish fun at http://www.princessandpen.com
December 17, 2017
I sort of love Bryony Gordon. We couldn't be more different, really, except for the small matter of our mental heath. That is to say, it's a bit crap. Bryony has had OCD ever since she was a young girl and, as she got older, it caused alopecia, bulimia, and drug dependency. In her memoir, she explores the roots of her OCD and how it – and not treating it – affected her teen years and her 20s. She talks about how mental health doesn't care about who you are (Bryony herself was a privileged child and now is a successful journalist) nor does it manifest itself in the same way in everyone – it's a tricky thing to pin down. Mad Girl is super accessible, just like reading a magazine article or having a chat with Bryony over coffee, which is how it should be, and it was really enjoyable and funny to read. 1 in 4 people suffer from poor mental health and Mad Girl does what I think we all should do: talk about mental health as if we were talking about the flu, honestly and without fear of judgement.
Bryony's also started Mad World – a new podcast dedicated to talking about mental health – and I suggest you check it out (the first guest is Prince Harry!).
I also reviewed this book over on Pretty Books.
Bryony's also started Mad World – a new podcast dedicated to talking about mental health – and I suggest you check it out (the first guest is Prince Harry!).
I also reviewed this book over on Pretty Books.
May 8, 2016
I knew from the minute I started reading Mad Girl, my life would be changed. I read The Wrong Knickers when it came out and it was immense so when I heard that Bryony had a new book on the way, I knew I had to read it.
I was sobbing by the second page of the prologue. I was gripped from the first word and that grip didn't loosen until after the final word. I finished reading this on Friday and I'm still not sure I can write a coherent review that will do any sort of justice...
Mental health is a subject that I'm just beginning to become familiar with. But with the help of this amazing book and some amazing friends, I am now seeking treatment for the first time. Turns out, I seem to have an anxiety disorder... I no longer feel alone or like I'm strange. Bryony gave me courage to fight for my health and strength to change my life. I know that probably sounds cliché or a bit corny, but hand on heart, this is the truth. I've been scared for so long of the consequences of seeking help and now that I've done it, I am on the path to a bright future I never thought I'd have.
So, back to the book. Mad Girl is touching and raw. It's bold, honest and so, so important. This book will change lives. Bryony is so brave and such an inspiration and I hope one day I can thank her for that. This book needs to be read and loved and shared. There are parts that are desperately hard to read, they break your heart. But I knew in the back of my mind that Bryony wrote the book so she must have survived it. She literally lived to tell the tale...
This is the kind of book that I hope one day I can write. I want to use my experiences to help people. I want to inspire women to find the courage to change their lives, however scary it may be. Seeking help is terrifying, it makes things seem real. But this amazing book makes it seem less taboo and less lonely. That's something special.
Mad Girl is just the most amazing, powerful, important book I may ever read.
I was sobbing by the second page of the prologue. I was gripped from the first word and that grip didn't loosen until after the final word. I finished reading this on Friday and I'm still not sure I can write a coherent review that will do any sort of justice...
Mental health is a subject that I'm just beginning to become familiar with. But with the help of this amazing book and some amazing friends, I am now seeking treatment for the first time. Turns out, I seem to have an anxiety disorder... I no longer feel alone or like I'm strange. Bryony gave me courage to fight for my health and strength to change my life. I know that probably sounds cliché or a bit corny, but hand on heart, this is the truth. I've been scared for so long of the consequences of seeking help and now that I've done it, I am on the path to a bright future I never thought I'd have.
So, back to the book. Mad Girl is touching and raw. It's bold, honest and so, so important. This book will change lives. Bryony is so brave and such an inspiration and I hope one day I can thank her for that. This book needs to be read and loved and shared. There are parts that are desperately hard to read, they break your heart. But I knew in the back of my mind that Bryony wrote the book so she must have survived it. She literally lived to tell the tale...
This is the kind of book that I hope one day I can write. I want to use my experiences to help people. I want to inspire women to find the courage to change their lives, however scary it may be. Seeking help is terrifying, it makes things seem real. But this amazing book makes it seem less taboo and less lonely. That's something special.
Mad Girl is just the most amazing, powerful, important book I may ever read.
July 18, 2017
Mental health is, thankfully, easier to talk about in our millennial generation than perhaps forty or fifty years ago. Almost everyone knows someone on antidepressants, it's likely you have a relative or good friend who takes them (whether you're aware or not). As a passionate advocate for mental health, I really wanted to love this book more than I did.
I empathised with Bryony as she details her journey into darkness, as she calls it, from teenaged bulimia right through to the rituals that govern a sufferer of obsessive compulsive disorder. Bryony does not shy away in detailing the good, the bad and the ugly of her illness. For that alone she is to be applauded.
Reading the book gave me a headache, if I'm honest. There were a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS, references to her vagina and !!!! so much so that I queried whether I had accidentally picked up a Caitlin Moran book instead. What I gathered from Bryony's book that she is a skilled journalist but perhaps not best suited to writing about her own illnesses.
Honesty and integrity Bryony has much of. Did I learn much more than I already knew about mental illness? No, but I learnt about what it means to the author. As mental health is such an individual journey, this was something I had to acknowledge. This book was okay, but I feel I could have enjoyed it more had I read it online as a blog.
I empathised with Bryony as she details her journey into darkness, as she calls it, from teenaged bulimia right through to the rituals that govern a sufferer of obsessive compulsive disorder. Bryony does not shy away in detailing the good, the bad and the ugly of her illness. For that alone she is to be applauded.
Reading the book gave me a headache, if I'm honest. There were a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS, references to her vagina and !!!! so much so that I queried whether I had accidentally picked up a Caitlin Moran book instead. What I gathered from Bryony's book that she is a skilled journalist but perhaps not best suited to writing about her own illnesses.
Honesty and integrity Bryony has much of. Did I learn much more than I already knew about mental illness? No, but I learnt about what it means to the author. As mental health is such an individual journey, this was something I had to acknowledge. This book was okay, but I feel I could have enjoyed it more had I read it online as a blog.
July 17, 2018
Finnaly a genuine honest book about in the mind of someone suffering from OCD! Sadly a horrible affliction for anyone to suffer from! There are different types of ocd! And Byron suffers from intrusive thoughts! We’re all lead to believe through, media, tv, film and magazines that ocd is excessive cleaning! Washing hands and liking things the way we like them! Need tidy etc... not always the case for many! I’m so proud of this lady! Extremely funny thoughout I connected with her so much as were roughly the same age! I had to put this book down to stop and laugh many times, also I felt her pain and terror that comes with ocd! Great for anyone suffering from intrusive thoughts, sometimes referred to as Pure O! You will not feel alone when you read this book! Also great for anyone who likes a funny book and has a genuine interest in the subject or mental health in general! 5 Stars and a loud applause from me! I’m sure this book was very difficult to write for the author!
May 17, 2016
Mad Girl, by Bryony Gordon, is a darkly humourous account of living with mental illness. Since she was a child the author has suffered periods of debilitating OCD and clinical depression. As a young adult she developed eating disorders. She turned to alcohol and cocaine in an attempt to cope with her demons. Now she has decided to talk openly about these issues. Her aim is to out the prevalence of mental illness, to challenge the stigma society attaches to maladies that are ‘all in the head’, and to build understanding of the blight misconceptions can cause.
Bryony is the first to admit that she had a privileged upbringing. Privately educated and from a stable, supportive, middle class family she nevertheless developed anxieties at a young age. She recalls at age twelve fearing she may have AIDS despite never having indulged in risky activities. In an attempt to save her family from infection she washed her hands so frequently they cracked and avoided touching her parents and siblings. And then as suddenly as her acute fears had arrived they passed, until returning with a vengeance, in new and damaging forms, when she was in her late teens.
As Bryony recounts the hedonism of her twenties, how she acquired her dream job in journalism and travelled the world on glamourous assignments, she shares the self esteem problems that resulted in abusive relationships and her self-abusing lifestyle. None of this is to court sympathy but rather to demonstrate how adept people are at hiding what they do not wish others to see. She dreamed up happy scenarios, shared only the edited highlights of her life, and was reluctant to admit all was not as it seemed, even to herself.
Bryony lived what looked to be a normal and successful life, joking about many of her wilder exploits and using them as fodder for her writing career. Now what she wishes to do, in talking openly about what was actually going on during this time, is to demonstrate that mental illness is not shameful. She wishes to engender a wider acceptance that sufferers are not somehow to blame.
It is believed that one in four people experience mental health problems yet still the default is not to admit to such suffering. The cause is unknown, there is as yet no cure, and treatments are limited. This is before the woeful underfunding of mental health provision within the NHS is taken into account. Bryony eventually found help through CBT but only because she had the resources to fund it.
The raw honesty and self deprecating humour with which this account is written makes it a touching, sometimes shocking, yet continually entertaining read. The misery described is never gratuitous. As a social anxiety sufferer I found it uplifting. My hope is that those who do not have to endure such afflictions may gain a better understanding from this highly readable account. Those who do suffer may take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. They too are one of ‘The We’, and we are to be found everywhere.
My copy of this book was provided gratis by the publisher, Headline.
Bryony is the first to admit that she had a privileged upbringing. Privately educated and from a stable, supportive, middle class family she nevertheless developed anxieties at a young age. She recalls at age twelve fearing she may have AIDS despite never having indulged in risky activities. In an attempt to save her family from infection she washed her hands so frequently they cracked and avoided touching her parents and siblings. And then as suddenly as her acute fears had arrived they passed, until returning with a vengeance, in new and damaging forms, when she was in her late teens.
As Bryony recounts the hedonism of her twenties, how she acquired her dream job in journalism and travelled the world on glamourous assignments, she shares the self esteem problems that resulted in abusive relationships and her self-abusing lifestyle. None of this is to court sympathy but rather to demonstrate how adept people are at hiding what they do not wish others to see. She dreamed up happy scenarios, shared only the edited highlights of her life, and was reluctant to admit all was not as it seemed, even to herself.
Bryony lived what looked to be a normal and successful life, joking about many of her wilder exploits and using them as fodder for her writing career. Now what she wishes to do, in talking openly about what was actually going on during this time, is to demonstrate that mental illness is not shameful. She wishes to engender a wider acceptance that sufferers are not somehow to blame.
It is believed that one in four people experience mental health problems yet still the default is not to admit to such suffering. The cause is unknown, there is as yet no cure, and treatments are limited. This is before the woeful underfunding of mental health provision within the NHS is taken into account. Bryony eventually found help through CBT but only because she had the resources to fund it.
The raw honesty and self deprecating humour with which this account is written makes it a touching, sometimes shocking, yet continually entertaining read. The misery described is never gratuitous. As a social anxiety sufferer I found it uplifting. My hope is that those who do not have to endure such afflictions may gain a better understanding from this highly readable account. Those who do suffer may take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. They too are one of ‘The We’, and we are to be found everywhere.
My copy of this book was provided gratis by the publisher, Headline.
January 7, 2018
Dit boek vond ik zó goed. Ondank dat ik niet met dezelfde problemen als Bryony te maken heb (in het boek schrijft ze o.a. over haar OCD, depressie en de eetstoornis die ze heeft gehad) identificeerde ik me zo met haar. Ik heb tientallen ezelsoren in de bladzijdes gemaakt en had het boek voor mijn doen heel snel uit. Soms moest ik een traan wegpinken en soms moest ik hardop lachen. Ze kan onwijs goed schrijven; heel eerlijk en open, maar ook met veel zelfspot. Het boek motiveerde me zelfs om de huisarts te bellen voor een afspraak, iets waar ik normaal heel eigenwijs in ben.
Aanrader voor iedereen die struggelt met zijn mentale gezondheid en iets van herkenning en geruststelling zoekt.
"Everyone has degrees of madness in them, everyone has a story to tell."
Aanrader voor iedereen die struggelt met zijn mentale gezondheid en iets van herkenning en geruststelling zoekt.
"Everyone has degrees of madness in them, everyone has a story to tell."
August 8, 2019
4.5 stars
December 31, 2016
A true honest autobiography. Which I feel everyone should read. Even if like me you don't know who she is. I think it's a feat book which tells you it is ok to talk about mental illness and you should talk about it honestly because we all go through it at one point or another in our lives all with varying degrees. If we all talk about it instead of shutting it away and giving it the power it needs to grow and to get worse then perhaps we might not all be fighting these demons alone.
January 12, 2018
Oh my god!! The ending nearly had me in tears. And not in a bad way.
A brilliantly honest and true story of her mental illness throughout her life. I think it is so inspirational to hear someone talk about something that is such a taboo subject still but shouldn't be. 👍🏼😍💕
A brilliantly honest and true story of her mental illness throughout her life. I think it is so inspirational to hear someone talk about something that is such a taboo subject still but shouldn't be. 👍🏼😍💕
May 14, 2017
I had to read this book in several instalments as I found it so hard to get into. I was really surprised to look through the reviews and see that the majority were 4 or 5 stars, as I just did not get the appeal. Some bits had far too much detail and really dragged, whereas others didn't have enough and seemed to skim through topics I would have liked to know more about.
July 28, 2021
there are moments where i feel really, really alone. travelling alone from England to Portugal was definitely one of them. it was my fourth time flying alone and still, I find it very difficult to stay calm. thus, I make my way into a bookshop and start snooping around, until my eyes find this bright yellow cover with the words mad girl. i am immediately intrigued seeing as I had a newfound obsession with riot grrls and thought this was going to be about the same sort of thing. i begin to read the blurb and am positively shaken by the fact that this book focuses on a girl with OCD.
a girl
with OCD
and a history of eating issues
and plane anxiety
and abandonment anxiety
and takes antidepressants
i found my home. i was starstruck and fast-walked my way to pay for this book. i began reading it and it just flowed so nicely. it was so wonderful to finally feel heard, and validated, and understood. i still can't understand how someone can know exactly what I've been through, not to the same details but the feelings and emotions and logic (or lack thereof) behind it.
bryony has made me feel such intense validation that I am not alone, and that a girl can have OCD, and take antidepressants, and have trouble eating. it doesn't mean that I am a crazy person and that I need to ostracize myself from the world. this book simply managed to give me hope that although some things you can't take away, you can lessen the impact by understanding how to work with them.
i don't even know what to say anymore - I'm just so happy to feel this way. this book gives me faith that the stigma with therapy and medication and mental illness, in general, is beginning to disappear.
a girl
with OCD
and a history of eating issues
and plane anxiety
and abandonment anxiety
and takes antidepressants
i found my home. i was starstruck and fast-walked my way to pay for this book. i began reading it and it just flowed so nicely. it was so wonderful to finally feel heard, and validated, and understood. i still can't understand how someone can know exactly what I've been through, not to the same details but the feelings and emotions and logic (or lack thereof) behind it.
bryony has made me feel such intense validation that I am not alone, and that a girl can have OCD, and take antidepressants, and have trouble eating. it doesn't mean that I am a crazy person and that I need to ostracize myself from the world. this book simply managed to give me hope that although some things you can't take away, you can lessen the impact by understanding how to work with them.
i don't even know what to say anymore - I'm just so happy to feel this way. this book gives me faith that the stigma with therapy and medication and mental illness, in general, is beginning to disappear.
April 2, 2017
I'm so glad I read this. Although my own mental health conditions are different to Bryony's, just reading this book made me feel a bit less alone and a bit more capable of addressing and dealing with them.
May 28, 2024
I love how Bryony talks about mental health, especially OCD. It's real and honest and brutal at times but she really sums up how it feels and makes you feel not alone if you also have these thoughts
May 5, 2025
“OCD will always latch on to the most important thing in your life at the time, and then try to threaten its existence in your life.”
Bryony Gordon talks us through her journey with OCD, bulimia, depression and drug and alcohol dependency in her brutally honest memoir. I didn’t love ‘Mad Girl’ as much as I’d hoped I would but it’s an honest account of life with mental illness.
Bryony Gordon talks us through her journey with OCD, bulimia, depression and drug and alcohol dependency in her brutally honest memoir. I didn’t love ‘Mad Girl’ as much as I’d hoped I would but it’s an honest account of life with mental illness.
March 19, 2021
“when you are well, you cannot even begin to imagine the places that you went to in your head…”
If nothing else, this sentence from Bryony Gordon’s Mad Girl is worth more than a thought. It really resonated with me. There are days that I can’t believe where my thought process had led me and the irrationality that I have indulged over the past few years. But the whole journey Gordon shares is something really worth spending time reading.
For me (naively), my understanding of OCD was the washing of hands, the multiple checks of the door being locked. But it is so much more. The brain is in overdrive in its thought processing. Gordon’s account of her need to control because of the OCD is very raw and shocking but incredibly brave. Her personification of her OCD is brilliant “evil, but ever so slightly enticing…” just perfect in choice – when you read it, you’ll understand why!
The story of Paul made me well up. No person who professes to love you should make you feel like shit and Paul was that person. Gordon’s recollection of this relationship is heart breaking but it’s something that happens oh so often and shouldn’t. People shouldn’t have their self esteem shattered by someone they love. And yes, Paul is not his real name.
the only person who has ever been able to deliver me a break is, um, me.
As Gordon shared how she talked about her problems with her boss in tears, I was there. These are not easy conversations. Showing vulnerability to a manager even one who’s a friend and is understanding takes a lot and Gordon really portrays this.
Gordon’s journey is a long one and it’s not over but she knows she has a support network when she has a wobble (or worse). She has her coping mechanisms which is something to aspire to.
I have to say, I’ve made this book sound very heavy but it’s not. Bryony Gordon is a brilliant storyteller. She gives even her darkest moments an air of lightness but not to the extent of frivolity. No, her writing is jovial but with a deep sense of realism. I have The Wrong Knickers sat in my bookshelf which, as she points out in Mad Girl, is a very different read. But I will still indulge as I love her writing style and I will be acquiring her other books to read.
Mad Girl is a stark reality of someone with problems, problems that they can’t control and possibly don’t fully understand. It gave me comfort that what I’ve experienced mentally over the past few years in coming to terms with my physical health, the effects of lockdown and dealing problems with work isn’t abnormal. My only regret is I didn’t read this sooner. Mad Girl is not a manual or a cure for mental health problems at all. It’s a kind of comforting hot chocolate to reassure you that what you’re experiencing or have experienced is normal and shouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of.
If nothing else, this sentence from Bryony Gordon’s Mad Girl is worth more than a thought. It really resonated with me. There are days that I can’t believe where my thought process had led me and the irrationality that I have indulged over the past few years. But the whole journey Gordon shares is something really worth spending time reading.
For me (naively), my understanding of OCD was the washing of hands, the multiple checks of the door being locked. But it is so much more. The brain is in overdrive in its thought processing. Gordon’s account of her need to control because of the OCD is very raw and shocking but incredibly brave. Her personification of her OCD is brilliant “evil, but ever so slightly enticing…” just perfect in choice – when you read it, you’ll understand why!
The story of Paul made me well up. No person who professes to love you should make you feel like shit and Paul was that person. Gordon’s recollection of this relationship is heart breaking but it’s something that happens oh so often and shouldn’t. People shouldn’t have their self esteem shattered by someone they love. And yes, Paul is not his real name.
the only person who has ever been able to deliver me a break is, um, me.
As Gordon shared how she talked about her problems with her boss in tears, I was there. These are not easy conversations. Showing vulnerability to a manager even one who’s a friend and is understanding takes a lot and Gordon really portrays this.
Gordon’s journey is a long one and it’s not over but she knows she has a support network when she has a wobble (or worse). She has her coping mechanisms which is something to aspire to.
I have to say, I’ve made this book sound very heavy but it’s not. Bryony Gordon is a brilliant storyteller. She gives even her darkest moments an air of lightness but not to the extent of frivolity. No, her writing is jovial but with a deep sense of realism. I have The Wrong Knickers sat in my bookshelf which, as she points out in Mad Girl, is a very different read. But I will still indulge as I love her writing style and I will be acquiring her other books to read.
Mad Girl is a stark reality of someone with problems, problems that they can’t control and possibly don’t fully understand. It gave me comfort that what I’ve experienced mentally over the past few years in coming to terms with my physical health, the effects of lockdown and dealing problems with work isn’t abnormal. My only regret is I didn’t read this sooner. Mad Girl is not a manual or a cure for mental health problems at all. It’s a kind of comforting hot chocolate to reassure you that what you’re experiencing or have experienced is normal and shouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of.
February 4, 2017
I only got one thing from Mad Girl: a slightly better understanding of OCD. That's a good thing, of course - and it's great to see more and more people having a better understanding of mental illness thanks to the brilliant people who are strong enough to write and talk about their experiences.
But unfortunately, Mad Girl wasn't my cup of tea really. Bryony is very much the opposite kind of person to me (I'm very shy, would choose to stay in playing D&D with a couple of friends over partying AAAANY day), so I couldn't relate to her and am not particularly interested in her everyday life activities. I felt like the whole thing could have been shorter, that sometimes she was waffling on a bit, and that explanations were fluffy and not concise at all. (And I get that that reflects the brain fog that comes with mental health issues, but really didn't appreciate it in this context.)
While she does state right at the beginning that Mad Girl is not a self-help book, I was hoping to find something in there that would make me realise something about myself, some new information I could use to move myself forward. I found a little of that, in the very last chapter and the epilogue. I wasn't expecting Matt Haig's Reasons to Stay Alive, but was hoping for a sprinkling of that kind of thing, and personally didn't find much of anything.
Mad Girl is an autobiography centered on mental health. I'm grateful that Bryony has added her much-needed voice to the mental health conversation, and am certain that others will relate to her and enjoy her stories far more than I did.
But unfortunately, Mad Girl wasn't my cup of tea really. Bryony is very much the opposite kind of person to me (I'm very shy, would choose to stay in playing D&D with a couple of friends over partying AAAANY day), so I couldn't relate to her and am not particularly interested in her everyday life activities. I felt like the whole thing could have been shorter, that sometimes she was waffling on a bit, and that explanations were fluffy and not concise at all. (And I get that that reflects the brain fog that comes with mental health issues, but really didn't appreciate it in this context.)
While she does state right at the beginning that Mad Girl is not a self-help book, I was hoping to find something in there that would make me realise something about myself, some new information I could use to move myself forward. I found a little of that, in the very last chapter and the epilogue. I wasn't expecting Matt Haig's Reasons to Stay Alive, but was hoping for a sprinkling of that kind of thing, and personally didn't find much of anything.
Mad Girl is an autobiography centered on mental health. I'm grateful that Bryony has added her much-needed voice to the mental health conversation, and am certain that others will relate to her and enjoy her stories far more than I did.
December 3, 2019
(2.5 stars) I liked a couple of things about this memoir written by a woman with OCD. Bryony describes the experience of OCD really well, and dispenses with the myth that it's all about cleaning (not to say concerns about hygiene aren't a factor for some with an OCD diagnosis). The section about her use of alcohol and cocaine as coping mechanisms was interesting too because it wasn't your typical "drugs and booze are bad" lecture (though she doesn't claim they're great or promote them as a treatment option either). The book is readable enough I guess, though not "unputdownable" and sometimes the language (e.g. around body image and mental health) is insensitive (and it comes across as more ignorant than ironic). The style and tone of Mad Girl reminded me a bit of Caitlin Moran's trying-too-hard-to-be-funny work which I'm also not a fan of. She also commits one of my pet hates of criticising millennials without apparently knowing what a millennial actually is (clue: it's not someone who was born *after* the year 2000. I noticed in another article she's written Bryony says she's not Gen X or a Millennial - well either you were born before 1981 or after it, so yes, you are one or the other given that you're in your late 30s). Bryony is from a very privileged background which she does acknowledge to some extent but I don't think she really gets it. Overall this book was ok but there are better mental health books out there (try Nathan Filer's for a start).
April 3, 2017
I'm actually reluctant to give this even 1 star, but realised that giving no stars at all on a rating is impossible using this app. This is a book of no substance covering a number of sensitive topics in a checklist fashion. Poor use of language, lack of structure and any depth along with total lack of any emotional intelligence of others in her world demonstrated, gave me the feeling that I was reading this just to get it finished rather than wanting to read more. Whilst I totally empathise and can relate to topics covered, this book gives no voice to mental health sufferers or opens the eyes to that world as I had been given to believe it would from the books blurb. Just reminded me of times when you are stuck at a party with the self obsessed person sharing their woes and life history with you and there is no escape route, and all that goes through your mind is "can I pull off my socks and shove them in my ears so I no longer have to hear this?"
So why did I read to the end? With OCD if I start a book I have to finish it otherwise there will be world catastrophes!!!! Sigh
So why did I read to the end? With OCD if I start a book I have to finish it otherwise there will be world catastrophes!!!! Sigh
November 28, 2019
“Even little things that make you happy are important, because the more of them you have in your life, the better your wellbeing”. After listening to her podcast, I knew I had to read her book! It’s a chatty, honest and hilarious read. A topic that is so relevant right now, mental health and a topic incredibly close to my heart. I found this book very relatable and it’s so important. It’s powerful, inspiring and I loved it! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “I’m telling you this because sometimes there isn’t a reason for mental illness. There isn’t one at all”.
September 26, 2018
I wasn't expecting to enjoy this book as much as I did but it was an easy read, well written and it has an important message in that mental health should not be hidden away and not talked about. Anyone who lives with or knows someone struggling with mental health issues should read this book, it is frank and honest but also an inspiration. Many, many people will be affected by some or all of the issues raised in this story and I hope it can help some of them.
February 21, 2017
Read it for my book group otherwise I wouldn't have finished it. Some interesting detail about OCD which I think might genuinely help some people. Easy read and funny at times but despite her apologise I found the privilege and lack of self awareness tiring. Just waiting for the the third book where she cracks on and stops drinking.
June 28, 2017
This was the first book of 2017 with my book club and I must say that it was a good pick!
The book is nothing more than a memoir of a modern, successful and a functioning "Mad Girl" who spills the beans about her ongoing struggle with mental health issues and how she has dealt with them but never managed to completely overcome these issues. When you think about mental health issues + a memoir, you expect to read about tons of agonizing and miserable situations that will leave you helplessly in tears. At least that is what I had in mind, but I think the choice of title and cover should have given it away - This is a FUN book! At times she comes off as silly, at times a little too Bridget Jones-y (with a twist, of course!) and at times outright funny, but it was always fun to read her story.
Did I enjoy this book? I have been reading a lot more non fiction lately, more than I would like to be honest, but I can say that young English writers have that sarcastic yet funny sense of humour which I enjoy a lot more in books than in real life! I enjoyed this book and I thought it was a quick and easy read but I do have some reservations about it (specially since it can be seen on best selling shelves in bookstores everywhere). Throughout the book, Bryony is awfully honest about everything but sometimes she gives too many details about how she managed to get away with the things she did (bulimia, addiction, hiding abusive relationships, etc) and I do not know how a younger audience would react to it... Would they follow in her footsteps? or simply take it as a warning not to? (The latter, hopefully!)
Books can be very dangerous, yet we do not see Parental Guidance ratings on them like we see with movies in the cinema, and I worry about teen girls reading this book and relating too much to Bryony...
Would I recommend it? Yes, to someone who likes this style of writing and is looking for a light "chick flick" that is not all roses and butterflies!
The book is nothing more than a memoir of a modern, successful and a functioning "Mad Girl" who spills the beans about her ongoing struggle with mental health issues and how she has dealt with them but never managed to completely overcome these issues. When you think about mental health issues + a memoir, you expect to read about tons of agonizing and miserable situations that will leave you helplessly in tears. At least that is what I had in mind, but I think the choice of title and cover should have given it away - This is a FUN book! At times she comes off as silly, at times a little too Bridget Jones-y (with a twist, of course!) and at times outright funny, but it was always fun to read her story.
Did I enjoy this book? I have been reading a lot more non fiction lately, more than I would like to be honest, but I can say that young English writers have that sarcastic yet funny sense of humour which I enjoy a lot more in books than in real life! I enjoyed this book and I thought it was a quick and easy read but I do have some reservations about it (specially since it can be seen on best selling shelves in bookstores everywhere). Throughout the book, Bryony is awfully honest about everything but sometimes she gives too many details about how she managed to get away with the things she did (bulimia, addiction, hiding abusive relationships, etc) and I do not know how a younger audience would react to it... Would they follow in her footsteps? or simply take it as a warning not to? (The latter, hopefully!)
Books can be very dangerous, yet we do not see Parental Guidance ratings on them like we see with movies in the cinema, and I worry about teen girls reading this book and relating too much to Bryony...
Would I recommend it? Yes, to someone who likes this style of writing and is looking for a light "chick flick" that is not all roses and butterflies!
October 10, 2019
This was a very engaging book which I could not put down. It also raised some interesting questions. The author suffers with OCD and other mental problems from a very early age but she managed to live a normal and successful life. So its not by any means a book about somebody wallowing in bed after a terrible breakdown who managed to get help.. mental health or the lack of it is a constant companion, she even gives it a name, its a monster she is able to manage to a certain extent. It doesn't claim to be a self-help book, just to help people who will learn they are not alone. However the very interesting question it raised for me was this. The author has some very lucky breaks, so how is this book helpful for people who don't get these breaks. Of course, she is successful because she takes opportunities and works hard but still, two major things in her life prevent her from being a complete mess, her career and her husband (who she meets at work). She becomes a journalist because she drops out of University, not because of any particularly sensible decisions. She also had a journalist mother who its implied might have helped her get her first job... and who on at least one occasion takes her to see a private therapist. So on the whole I really liked this book but for me the message was "be lucky!" Bryony really starts to improve when she goes on a work trip through the Arctic.. a.. not many of us get boat trips to the arctic. I do think that funny books like this do a hell of a lot to destigmatise mental health problems.
March 14, 2017
This is a very "me" book.
My morbid curiosity and a need to compare my level of "crazy" to another, generally leads me to read any book describing someones battles with mental health. I find I am drawn to a memoir more if any form of mental illness or disorder is described in the blurb, obviously mainly focusing on those most related to mine. This, clearly, met the majority of my check list.
I feel I am sometimes quite harsh in my after thoughts on these books, as I don't always get what I want out of them. I'm not really there to read a story that only skims the surface and doesn't give me the gory details of whatever illness I and the author have in common. I want the details, not glossed over facts and then an ending that involves complete recovery and a happily ever after. Because that is not life and that is not what suffering with a mental illness is. And that is certainly not going to be the end of my story.
I want relateable. Partly due to my own self destructive nature to decide if I am "sicker" than them, but partly because I need to know that it doesn't always get better. That the illness isn't always cured, but managed to a point where life is tolerable, liveable and sometimes enjoyable but that relapse is always on the cards. And that that is okay.
I want real. And that is what I got.
I often need reminding that I'm not the only one with a broken mind, but it is possible to live even with an invisible illness that sometimes makes it so hard to.
My morbid curiosity and a need to compare my level of "crazy" to another, generally leads me to read any book describing someones battles with mental health. I find I am drawn to a memoir more if any form of mental illness or disorder is described in the blurb, obviously mainly focusing on those most related to mine. This, clearly, met the majority of my check list.
I feel I am sometimes quite harsh in my after thoughts on these books, as I don't always get what I want out of them. I'm not really there to read a story that only skims the surface and doesn't give me the gory details of whatever illness I and the author have in common. I want the details, not glossed over facts and then an ending that involves complete recovery and a happily ever after. Because that is not life and that is not what suffering with a mental illness is. And that is certainly not going to be the end of my story.
I want relateable. Partly due to my own self destructive nature to decide if I am "sicker" than them, but partly because I need to know that it doesn't always get better. That the illness isn't always cured, but managed to a point where life is tolerable, liveable and sometimes enjoyable but that relapse is always on the cards. And that that is okay.
I want real. And that is what I got.
I often need reminding that I'm not the only one with a broken mind, but it is possible to live even with an invisible illness that sometimes makes it so hard to.
June 6, 2016
It was 5.30am and I had just gotten up to get a glass if water when I saw Mad Girl sitting there on my sofa and thought 'maybe I'll read a few pages, you know just to get started.' Ha!
There I was some 20 something minutes later not wanting to put the book down even though my eyes were burning with a need for sleep.
I eventually did manage to pry myself away from it but I knew right then, from what I had read of it, that I was going to love this book. Case in point? I was barely on page 6 before I was nodding my head in agreement at something Bryony had said.
Mad Girl pulls you in with it's honesty and it's humour, it's not preachy or grim, which I thought it might be, even though the author said it wasn't that kind of book. Don't get me wrong, parts of it are hard to read but the way Bryony talks about/handles the subject left me feeling anything but down or depressed.
This is the first book about mental health that actually left me hopeful, I'm not going to say that you should buy this book if you or somebody you know has mental health issues because I think everyone, mental health issues or no mental health issues should read this book.
There I was some 20 something minutes later not wanting to put the book down even though my eyes were burning with a need for sleep.
I eventually did manage to pry myself away from it but I knew right then, from what I had read of it, that I was going to love this book. Case in point? I was barely on page 6 before I was nodding my head in agreement at something Bryony had said.
Mad Girl pulls you in with it's honesty and it's humour, it's not preachy or grim, which I thought it might be, even though the author said it wasn't that kind of book. Don't get me wrong, parts of it are hard to read but the way Bryony talks about/handles the subject left me feeling anything but down or depressed.
This is the first book about mental health that actually left me hopeful, I'm not going to say that you should buy this book if you or somebody you know has mental health issues because I think everyone, mental health issues or no mental health issues should read this book.
September 11, 2017
Memoirs are not a genre I read often, and mental health memoirs even less. I'm not even sure why I picked this up, except that it mentioned OCD and that is a mental illness I am interested in as I see in myself minor tendencies that could be OCD.
This read to me like a self-indulgent stream of consciousness diary. There was no coherency or narrative drive. There did not seem to be any intent to teach or get the reader to truly understand the bigger issues. It felt like the intent was for the reader to feel sorry for the privileged girl who had amazing family support.
Obviously this read differently to the vast majority of readers who rated this book, and I am happy that her book resonated with so many people, but for me, I just don't want to read what felt like an assignment from her psychiatrist to keep a diary of all her thoughts.
This read to me like a self-indulgent stream of consciousness diary. There was no coherency or narrative drive. There did not seem to be any intent to teach or get the reader to truly understand the bigger issues. It felt like the intent was for the reader to feel sorry for the privileged girl who had amazing family support.
Obviously this read differently to the vast majority of readers who rated this book, and I am happy that her book resonated with so many people, but for me, I just don't want to read what felt like an assignment from her psychiatrist to keep a diary of all her thoughts.
April 17, 2017
I liked the 'humorous' take on this book which is refreshing to the more serious side. As a sufferer of various MH issues I felt that she tackled important topics like the downfalls of the NHS compared to private care and the sense of a community for suffers. However I just felt her writing in general was really quite annoying and she laboured some points too much. It was an accessible book to spread awareness but it wasn't the most enjoyable read for me
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