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The Backup
I’m supposed to be better than this. I'm supposed to have a tenure-track job teaching music history to undergrads, writing papers about Bach, and proving to kids like me that you can work your way out of Harlem. I'm not supposed to be following a rock star around the country, fetching his mail, making sure his groupies are of age. I'm definitely not supposed to be sleeping with said rock star, who claims to be the Greek God Dionysus. At first I thought it was a load of crap. Nik's fans might think his music captures their hearts—and souls—but I knew better. Until one of Nik's orgiastic concerts gets out of hand and I don’t know which is that he might be a god after all, or that he has a body count. Nik doesn’t care what I want or what I should be. He wants to tear down the world I've built, warping all I am, until his music is all that's left of me. I can't let him do that. I shouldn't believe in him. I've seen what happens to the people who believe in him. But I can't get his song out of my head. Word 91,200; page 376
376 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 25, 2016
1 person is currently reading
196 people want to read
About the author
Erica Kudisch
2 books12 followersErica Kudisch lives, writes, sings, and often trips over things in New York City. When not in pursuit of about five different creative vocations, none of which pay her nearly enough, you can usually find her pontificating about dead gay video games, shopping for thigh-high socks, and making her beleaguered characters wait forty thousand words before they get in the sack.
In addition to publishing novellas and short stories as fantastika-focused alter-ego Kaye Chazan (What Aelister Found Here and The Ashkenazi Candidate, both available at Candlemark & Gleam) Erica is responsible for the BDSM musical Dogboy & Justine, and serves as creative director and co-founder of Treble Entendre Productions.
She also has issues with authority. And curses too fucking much.
In addition to publishing novellas and short stories as fantastika-focused alter-ego Kaye Chazan (What Aelister Found Here and The Ashkenazi Candidate, both available at Candlemark & Gleam) Erica is responsible for the BDSM musical Dogboy & Justine, and serves as creative director and co-founder of Treble Entendre Productions.
She also has issues with authority. And curses too fucking much.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
February 1, 2016
i did not see that coming.
i went into this blind, and i'm not sure whether i'm glad about that or no.
but i am glad i read it.
it turned out not to be a romance, which a friend helpfully pointed out i should have known, because it was published by the mindfuck imprint of riptide, anglerfish press.
oops.
so there's some stuff that bothered me. the dub-con tags are...
hrm.
idek? i mean, it's certainly not the kind of dub-con you'd imagine. there's definitely consent, and it's definitely dubious—but it's also more complicated than that.
much, much more complicated.
he doesn't want to be there, but he kinda wants to be there, if you know what i mean?
he wouldn't be in proximity to the guy if he'd had his druthers, but... since he's there?
that.
it was like that.
and because i didn't realize it wasn't a romance, the ending took me by surprise, and suddenly—very suddenly—the stuff that had made me mildly uncomfortable began to really gnaw at me.
why should the vile things the antagonist does to the protagonist be tolerable to me solely because i have an expectation that the they are fated to love one another?
i have no answers. but my suspicions make me even more uncomfortable than the text did.
other than that, i liked this story a lot, despite moments where i felt the language got well out of hand and into OTT territory.
i couldn't identify with either main character, as one is a snotty musicologist and the other is a bag-of-dicks who may or may not be dionysius, god of the vine, grape harvest, winemaking, wine, ritual madness, religious ecstasy, and—heh—theatre.
in other words, the god of orgies of all kinds—fatal and otherwise.
as a result of that inability to relate to either of them, when the protagonist fucked up, i found myself hating him a little bit.
which could be the author's intent, for all i know.
and if so? bravooooooo.
so in this way, and in others, the novel possessed a subtle tension throughout, and while i admit that part of it for me was wondering when these two would stop savaging one another and git t'lovin, it stands up on its own as a piece of gripping fiction.
if i hadn't spent the past three days gleefully embroiled in internet scandals i'd have finished it in a day.
just don't look for any heroes, or any happily-ever-afters.
don't be like julio.
julio's kinda dumb.
i went into this blind, and i'm not sure whether i'm glad about that or no.
but i am glad i read it.
it turned out not to be a romance, which a friend helpfully pointed out i should have known, because it was published by the mindfuck imprint of riptide, anglerfish press.
oops.
so there's some stuff that bothered me. the dub-con tags are...
hrm.
idek? i mean, it's certainly not the kind of dub-con you'd imagine. there's definitely consent, and it's definitely dubious—but it's also more complicated than that.
much, much more complicated.
he doesn't want to be there, but he kinda wants to be there, if you know what i mean?
he wouldn't be in proximity to the guy if he'd had his druthers, but... since he's there?
that.
it was like that.
and because i didn't realize it wasn't a romance, the ending took me by surprise, and suddenly—very suddenly—the stuff that had made me mildly uncomfortable began to really gnaw at me.
why should the vile things the antagonist does to the protagonist be tolerable to me solely because i have an expectation that the they are fated to love one another?
i have no answers. but my suspicions make me even more uncomfortable than the text did.
other than that, i liked this story a lot, despite moments where i felt the language got well out of hand and into OTT territory.
i couldn't identify with either main character, as one is a snotty musicologist and the other is a bag-of-dicks who may or may not be dionysius, god of the vine, grape harvest, winemaking, wine, ritual madness, religious ecstasy, and—heh—theatre.
in other words, the god of orgies of all kinds—fatal and otherwise.
as a result of that inability to relate to either of them, when the protagonist fucked up, i found myself hating him a little bit.
which could be the author's intent, for all i know.
and if so? bravooooooo.
so in this way, and in others, the novel possessed a subtle tension throughout, and while i admit that part of it for me was wondering when these two would stop savaging one another and git t'lovin, it stands up on its own as a piece of gripping fiction.
if i hadn't spent the past three days gleefully embroiled in internet scandals i'd have finished it in a day.
just don't look for any heroes, or any happily-ever-afters.
don't be like julio.
julio's kinda dumb.
January 2, 2016
Dude.
This book.....
Is fucked up. It was such a ride, I dont even know.
I still dont know.
But I do know that I read it fast, couldn't put it down, didnt want to do anything but read.
I'm confused still. Through out the whole thing...
Fuck I think I drank the Kool Aid!!!!
One thing for sure this author can write. Her words are wonderful, the words flow, it was like 300 pages of lyrical music to my soul.
What was it about? I dont even know HA!
This book.....
Is fucked up. It was such a ride, I dont even know.
I still dont know.
But I do know that I read it fast, couldn't put it down, didnt want to do anything but read.
I'm confused still. Through out the whole thing...
Fuck I think I drank the Kool Aid!!!!
One thing for sure this author can write. Her words are wonderful, the words flow, it was like 300 pages of lyrical music to my soul.
What was it about? I dont even know HA!
dnf
January 13, 2016This is a case of it's not you book, it's me.
Or maybe it is the book and not me?
*shrugs*
It's clear the author LOVES her knowledge of classical music and that Anthony is more than likely a lot like her with his PhD in Musicology. It's amazing the level of knowledge of music that is in this, even to a self proclaimed music nerd as myself and yet, it was too much.
Anthony never stopped hating everyone and everything nor does he try to see things in anyway other than his. His negativity bled off the page and started to soak into my core.
Not good.
I never bought into whatever the hell Nik was supposed to be and found his character annoying AF. Is he man or God? I don't know and I will never know because I can't read anymore to find out even though I skimmed a good 40% toward the end to see if there was a point.
No point found.
The mixture of mythology and music and all that jazz was cool yo, but not my jam.
This is labeled as romance and I get not all romance is fluff and roses but romance? Where?
I tried and I made it to 53% before I decided that even my nightly yoga class could not erase the frustration this book caused.
It was just too much.
Nothing made sense.
Things, no everything was going over my head and making me feel dumb.
I read for pleasure, not to feel small.
Tulip.
I'm out.
Or maybe it is the book and not me?
*shrugs*
It's clear the author LOVES her knowledge of classical music and that Anthony is more than likely a lot like her with his PhD in Musicology. It's amazing the level of knowledge of music that is in this, even to a self proclaimed music nerd as myself and yet, it was too much.
Anthony never stopped hating everyone and everything nor does he try to see things in anyway other than his. His negativity bled off the page and started to soak into my core.
Not good.
I never bought into whatever the hell Nik was supposed to be and found his character annoying AF. Is he man or God? I don't know and I will never know because I can't read anymore to find out even though I skimmed a good 40% toward the end to see if there was a point.
No point found.
The mixture of mythology and music and all that jazz was cool yo, but not my jam.
This is labeled as romance and I get not all romance is fluff and roses but romance? Where?
I tried and I made it to 53% before I decided that even my nightly yoga class could not erase the frustration this book caused.
It was just too much.
Nothing made sense.
Things, no everything was going over my head and making me feel dumb.
I read for pleasure, not to feel small.
Tulip.
I'm out.
March 8, 2017
4.5 STARS
I have no idea how to even begin to explain this book. It has to be one of the most obscure novel's I've read over the last year. I'm not going to review it as such but for lovers of very mysterious UF/paranormal genre's this might appeal to you. Mind you these genre's aren't very apparent until you're a fair way into The Backup.
Personally I loved it but I can see that others won't. I think Erica Kudisch has done a fantastic job, the writing is great and the MC's are well established, strong characters that play out one clusterfuck of a storyline which kept me engaged.
The first half of the book is a bit frustrating because you just know that something bizarre is going on but you get strung along for a while but KEEP READING. I detracted half a star because it almost comes across as a touch disjointed if you don't stay focused. What I'm trying to say is that you have to give this book 100% of your attention while reading it. It's not for a rainy day where your feeling a bit sleepy on the couch with a warm blanket. That will result in a major WTF experience as the book is like that anyway.
I think a decent sequel could "possibly" work too but my overall rating for this book comes from it's obscure originality.
I have no idea how to even begin to explain this book. It has to be one of the most obscure novel's I've read over the last year. I'm not going to review it as such but for lovers of very mysterious UF/paranormal genre's this might appeal to you. Mind you these genre's aren't very apparent until you're a fair way into The Backup.
Personally I loved it but I can see that others won't. I think Erica Kudisch has done a fantastic job, the writing is great and the MC's are well established, strong characters that play out one clusterfuck of a storyline which kept me engaged.
The first half of the book is a bit frustrating because you just know that something bizarre is going on but you get strung along for a while but KEEP READING. I detracted half a star because it almost comes across as a touch disjointed if you don't stay focused. What I'm trying to say is that you have to give this book 100% of your attention while reading it. It's not for a rainy day where your feeling a bit sleepy on the couch with a warm blanket. That will result in a major WTF experience as the book is like that anyway.
I think a decent sequel could "possibly" work too but my overall rating for this book comes from it's obscure originality.
February 1, 2016
This is a deliciously dark tale by new-to-me author Erica Kudisch. I am not sure I understood all the twists and turns in the story but I certainly enjoyed reading it. This isn't one of those sweet romantic stories and the cover itself provides a glimpse of this. It is a gripping drama with a frisson of suspense, the paranormal, horror, and mystery.
Anthony Brooks has achieved his Phd, is heavily in debt and is unemployed. He wants to develop his career as a musicologist but instead finds himself working for his uncle and handling the rock star Nik.
Nik is your typical rock star, wild, disorganised, unconventional and weird. Anthony dislikes him and dislikes Nik's music, and they clash from the beginning but this isn't your run of the mill clash. There is something dark and mysterious about Nik. His music and concerts turn into orgies, people behave strangely at his concerts and he has a following that can be likened to followers of a cult. Nik says that he is the greek god Dionysus.
Anthony thinks the whole greek god thing is a load of old cobblers until he realises that things don't add up. There is the peculiar and long relationship between Nik and Anthony's uncle Paul. There is the strange behaviour of Nik's fans. There is the darkness and controlling power in Nik's music and there is a body count.
I started reading this book not really knowing what to expect and it gripped me from the outset. Anthony comes across quite clearly as a frustrated job hunter who is pressurised into taking a job he doesn't like because of his financial situation. We see him coping with Nik because he believes Nik is simply a spoilt rockstar. Then as the story progresses we see Anthony slowly realising that all is not what it seems and that other powers are at play and that he is caught up in them.
This isn't horror and it isn't scary but it is puzzling and there is the need for the reader to try and figure out exactly what is going on and yet there is a frisson of uneasiness that accompanies the reader on this journey to discovery.
And so I loved it!
I loved it because it was kind of wild, unpredictable, and very different. It isn't your usual m/m story with A meets B, then conflict or challenge, cut and paste sex and a happy ending. Nothing wrong with that formula but this brings something different.
This story takes you on a journey where no one has gone before. A bit like Star Trek but definitely not as benign. At the heart of the story is a fast paced battle between different kinds of music - classical and rock, one sedate and predictable, one wild and unleashed.
But there are other battles - one between life and death, order and destruction and two young men who are alike but at the same time very dissimilar because of course one of them is much more than a man.
And then there is also Anthony's personal battle. His battle to overcome his dislike of his current circumstances and the lack of career prospects, his unvoiced resentment of his uncle and his dislike of everything. He comes across as someone who is generally unhappy about everything and unable to see the wood for the trees. He couldn't see any good in his situation and it made me wonder where the story was going and how it would end because it isn't a romance and the story follows rules of its own which are unknown to the reader.
I liked this unknowing and the dark wildness of the story.
And the end leaves you wondering and asking what actually happened but the story is certainly a wild ride, very entertaining and excellent storytelling.
Not for anyone who likes neatly told stories with happy endings but certainly a great read and a story I will remember.
Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Anthony Brooks has achieved his Phd, is heavily in debt and is unemployed. He wants to develop his career as a musicologist but instead finds himself working for his uncle and handling the rock star Nik.
Nik is your typical rock star, wild, disorganised, unconventional and weird. Anthony dislikes him and dislikes Nik's music, and they clash from the beginning but this isn't your run of the mill clash. There is something dark and mysterious about Nik. His music and concerts turn into orgies, people behave strangely at his concerts and he has a following that can be likened to followers of a cult. Nik says that he is the greek god Dionysus.
Anthony thinks the whole greek god thing is a load of old cobblers until he realises that things don't add up. There is the peculiar and long relationship between Nik and Anthony's uncle Paul. There is the strange behaviour of Nik's fans. There is the darkness and controlling power in Nik's music and there is a body count.
I started reading this book not really knowing what to expect and it gripped me from the outset. Anthony comes across quite clearly as a frustrated job hunter who is pressurised into taking a job he doesn't like because of his financial situation. We see him coping with Nik because he believes Nik is simply a spoilt rockstar. Then as the story progresses we see Anthony slowly realising that all is not what it seems and that other powers are at play and that he is caught up in them.
This isn't horror and it isn't scary but it is puzzling and there is the need for the reader to try and figure out exactly what is going on and yet there is a frisson of uneasiness that accompanies the reader on this journey to discovery.
And so I loved it!
I loved it because it was kind of wild, unpredictable, and very different. It isn't your usual m/m story with A meets B, then conflict or challenge, cut and paste sex and a happy ending. Nothing wrong with that formula but this brings something different.
This story takes you on a journey where no one has gone before. A bit like Star Trek but definitely not as benign. At the heart of the story is a fast paced battle between different kinds of music - classical and rock, one sedate and predictable, one wild and unleashed.
But there are other battles - one between life and death, order and destruction and two young men who are alike but at the same time very dissimilar because of course one of them is much more than a man.
And then there is also Anthony's personal battle. His battle to overcome his dislike of his current circumstances and the lack of career prospects, his unvoiced resentment of his uncle and his dislike of everything. He comes across as someone who is generally unhappy about everything and unable to see the wood for the trees. He couldn't see any good in his situation and it made me wonder where the story was going and how it would end because it isn't a romance and the story follows rules of its own which are unknown to the reader.
I liked this unknowing and the dark wildness of the story.
And the end leaves you wondering and asking what actually happened but the story is certainly a wild ride, very entertaining and excellent storytelling.
Not for anyone who likes neatly told stories with happy endings but certainly a great read and a story I will remember.
Copy provided by Riptide Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
January 25, 2016
This was the first book by this author and the first book by Riptide’s Angler Fish Press that I have read. I usually don’t read many dark stories, but the wonderful cover and mythology intrigued me. Dionysus, the god of pleasure, starting orgies and riots as modern day musician with a cult-like following. How could I resist?
This book is written in the first person and it really works for this story. Readers really get into Anthony Brook’s head and experience the story through his POV. The 376 Pages do feel very slow-burning at times, but the story draws readers in like a Siren Song until it is too late to turn back. Once I was in, I couldn’t get out. I had to know how the story would end for Anthony and if he could escape the dark end that seemed most likely for him.
I loved the tension between Anthony and Nik, between order and chaos. Anthony likes music and musicians with clear rules like Bach, Nik likes to create something new that can’t be broken down with rules, something wild and free.
Even as Anthony is drawn in more and more by Nik’s dangerous world, he tries to resist Nik and his claim to be a god and holds firmly onto the rules that have given him comfort since he was young.
This urban fantasy story is very psychological and gets very dark. At times Anthony seems to be caught in madness or depression as he uncovers more and more of the self proclaimed god’s dark secrets and hidden skeletons.
It was very unsettling to experience music drive him to the edge of madness and the dark attraction to the man he despises. There is always tension and danger lingering behind every word and at times I wanted to scream at Anthony to run and hide.
The sex is dark, dangerous and desperate and feels like in a trance. Given all the mind-fuckery, it seems like dubious consent, even if Nik seems to want and respect choices to an extend as it makes the ‘game’ more interesting to him. The sex scenes feel very sexual, but not sexy and love has nothing to do with them. Just one more power struggle between Anthony and Nik that is fought out with their bodies.
The music was a very powerful presence in this book, even though readers won’t hear a single note by reading a book. The descriptions were very detailed and felt authentic. I could feel the music and its power. How it affected people to drive them wild, mad, blissful or desolate.
For me Nik felt like a vampire, an un-human presence that is very powerful and deadly, but draws people in. It is weird, but if he was just a murderous psychopath, a human monster, using his music to harm people and create chaos (like some musicians in the black metal scene), I think I would not have handled the dark aspects of this story quite as well as I did.
I’m still not sure what to think of the ending. I had several possibilities in mind, but the ending felt very un-expected. In a way I think the ending was brilliant and I like to be surprised, but I am also still a bit confused and may need to process everything further.
If you like two very opposite men with a dangerous attraction, a very dark and tense atmosphere and don’t mind that the connection between Anthony and Nik can never grow into eternal love, this might be the book for you.
8.5/10 Pots of Gold (85% Recommended) – Compares to 4.25/5 Stars
***received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review***
This book is written in the first person and it really works for this story. Readers really get into Anthony Brook’s head and experience the story through his POV. The 376 Pages do feel very slow-burning at times, but the story draws readers in like a Siren Song until it is too late to turn back. Once I was in, I couldn’t get out. I had to know how the story would end for Anthony and if he could escape the dark end that seemed most likely for him.
I loved the tension between Anthony and Nik, between order and chaos. Anthony likes music and musicians with clear rules like Bach, Nik likes to create something new that can’t be broken down with rules, something wild and free.
Even as Anthony is drawn in more and more by Nik’s dangerous world, he tries to resist Nik and his claim to be a god and holds firmly onto the rules that have given him comfort since he was young.
This urban fantasy story is very psychological and gets very dark. At times Anthony seems to be caught in madness or depression as he uncovers more and more of the self proclaimed god’s dark secrets and hidden skeletons.
It was very unsettling to experience music drive him to the edge of madness and the dark attraction to the man he despises. There is always tension and danger lingering behind every word and at times I wanted to scream at Anthony to run and hide.
The sex is dark, dangerous and desperate and feels like in a trance. Given all the mind-fuckery, it seems like dubious consent, even if Nik seems to want and respect choices to an extend as it makes the ‘game’ more interesting to him. The sex scenes feel very sexual, but not sexy and love has nothing to do with them. Just one more power struggle between Anthony and Nik that is fought out with their bodies.
The music was a very powerful presence in this book, even though readers won’t hear a single note by reading a book. The descriptions were very detailed and felt authentic. I could feel the music and its power. How it affected people to drive them wild, mad, blissful or desolate.
For me Nik felt like a vampire, an un-human presence that is very powerful and deadly, but draws people in. It is weird, but if he was just a murderous psychopath, a human monster, using his music to harm people and create chaos (like some musicians in the black metal scene), I think I would not have handled the dark aspects of this story quite as well as I did.
I’m still not sure what to think of the ending. I had several possibilities in mind, but the ending felt very un-expected. In a way I think the ending was brilliant and I like to be surprised, but I am also still a bit confused and may need to process everything further.
If you like two very opposite men with a dangerous attraction, a very dark and tense atmosphere and don’t mind that the connection between Anthony and Nik can never grow into eternal love, this might be the book for you.
8.5/10 Pots of Gold (85% Recommended) – Compares to 4.25/5 Stars
***received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review***
Read
March 8, 2016No rating yet until after I've let this reading experience settle for a day or two.
Wow that was a mind fuck extraordinaire. I could not put it down all day, even if it was depressing as fuck. I really disliked Anthony (even though I could understand him) and hated Nik but I still needed to know what would happen next. To me, this was the exactly what I would expect a god like Dionysus to be like in human form. He wouldn't be some sweet and cuddly dude, he'd be the one to fuck your shit up. And fuck Nik's shit up he did! In fact, I'm still not quite sure what was going on there in the last few chapters.
More thoughts later...maybe.
(I just realized how many times I wrote "fuck" in one paragraph. Lol this book just brought it out in me I guess!)
Wow that was a mind fuck extraordinaire. I could not put it down all day, even if it was depressing as fuck. I really disliked Anthony (even though I could understand him) and hated Nik but I still needed to know what would happen next. To me, this was the exactly what I would expect a god like Dionysus to be like in human form. He wouldn't be some sweet and cuddly dude, he'd be the one to fuck your shit up. And fuck Nik's shit up he did! In fact, I'm still not quite sure what was going on there in the last few chapters.
More thoughts later...maybe.
(I just realized how many times I wrote "fuck" in one paragraph. Lol this book just brought it out in me I guess!)
April 6, 2016
Disclaimer: The author of this book, Erica Kudisch, has been a friend of mine for over a decade now. So, yes, I am biased. I have not received anything personally in exchange for this review, however; I checked the book out from the library same as anyone else could do, if the book is at your library.
On top of being a friend of the author, it is a challenge for me to think of what to say about this book because it is not the kind of book I would have ordinarily read. It says right on the sticker from the library, "Fantasy/paranormal/gay" - and well, I don't do paranormal and up to this point I don't believe I have ever sought out something that could be billed as male/male romance.
What I can say is that the book is not what I expected. Its cover certainly suggests that it is a book full of sex. There is sex in ways that are kind of significant to the plot, but I don't think that one would call it a sex book.
It's... I don't know, what is it? I suppose you'd say it's an exploration of power and control in relationships, particularly in bad relationships; how one might be drawn into them and why one might stay in them. The vehicle by which these things are explored here in The Backup is Anthony Brooks, our narrator, who begins the book by receiving his PhD in musicology, which is apparently a thing in which one can receive a PhD. His prospects kind of suck and as a result he ends up being the handler of a wild rock personality, simply named Nik, who people believe is in fact Dionysus. The is-he-or-isn't-he is a driving force of a lot of the plot. His concerts basically turn into wild orgies from the power of his music, or some such.
Also significant is Anthony's Uncle Paul, who helped to raise Anthony, and by a stroke of good fortune happens to be a record label executive of some kind, who handles Nik, uh, off the books. Uncle Paul has his own opaque agenda going on here and so it is not merely about controlling romantic relationships - but really anyone who wants to exercise power over another person and how they go about doing so.
At times I struggled to keep up with Anthony because his voice is one of a person who is well-versed in music history, the product, certainly, of an author who has an advanced degree in the music field, though Erica, if I remember right, has a master's degree in something music but not musicology. I don't believe it makes the story impenetrable, which is a good thing as there's more than one session of Anthony asking Nik about composers with whom Nik was supposedly involved, you know, carnally.
While I don't know my music history enough to understand why Nik disdainfully refers to Bach's compositions as "math," and while I certainly don't know enough music theory to completely grok the way that Anthony breaks down certain pieces of music, I can nonetheless roll with the world as it is presented to me: That Nik is a force of chaos who is trying to break down the stoic academia Ivory Tower attitude of Anthony. Like Paula Abdul (about whom I could not guess Nik's opinion or personal experience) sang, opposites attract, right?
It's more complicated than all of that, of course, because it turns out that the FBI has been investigating Nik for like a decade, and now that Anthony has shown up, they're up in his business as well. There is a tendency for things to get out of control at Nik's shows - beyond just the orgies - and in fact people have died.
In my estimation, Nik deflects blame with the practiced antipathy of an abuser who knows he'll never be caught. This makes Anthony an enabler in many ways, of which he is well aware as he embarks on this whole misadventure. This is a creepy book and if one wants to really wrestle with some of the ideas presented it will probably leave your skin crawling and leave you feeling like you need a shower. I guess that maybe sounds like an insult but it's not meant as one. This is not somebody's light "beach read" or some such. That's all I'm trying to say.
One thing I found clever here is something that often comes across as clunky or hack-like in other books where I have seen the device is the way that Erica makes use of Anthony writing some blog posts as a way to both advance the plot and keep certain characters who will be important later in the reader's attention in the comments sections. I can't quite call it a Greek chorus as their voices are distinct from one another, but there's a definite peanut gallery commenting on the developments in a way that really works. It's significant to get that kind of outside perspective on what is going on beyond the world of Anthony's head.
Another device was more puzzling to me. Each chapter is scrupulously given a specific date - spanning a bit over a year in 2011-12 - but I never figured out why this is. I guess it's important to show the passage of time; there is significance to when things are happening closely packed together compared to when things are happening at a more leisurely pace, with time between events. That said, I think that I would have liked if there was some attempt to give more of a grounding to those some of the particular days mentioned.
For instance, early on there is mention of a party in San Francisco and some background people are said to be "talking about the latest Giants game." This party takes place on a specific date: May 13, 2011. That was a Friday and there was a Giants game that night. Maybe instead those people could have been watching that Giants game. Later, as the year advanced to 2012, some background references to things that happened, like the ongoing presidential campaign of that year, would have strengthened the tie to a particular day.
A counter to my own argument, I am sure, is that the lack of such references drives home Anthony's isolation from any kind of normal life - and Anthony, certainly, would have been unlikely to much care in writing his blog post on February 4, 2012 that the Super Bowl was the next day; nor would he care as the tour bus left on February 6, 2012 that the Super Bowl was the previous day. Still - the specificity of the dates and the years seems to me like it needs at least SOME real world in-the-background happenings. And if they are there and I missed them, apologies to Erica for being daft.
If any of the above intrigues you at all, you should read my friend's book.
As an outro, behind spoiler tags, some further musing about the title of the book.
On top of being a friend of the author, it is a challenge for me to think of what to say about this book because it is not the kind of book I would have ordinarily read. It says right on the sticker from the library, "Fantasy/paranormal/gay" - and well, I don't do paranormal and up to this point I don't believe I have ever sought out something that could be billed as male/male romance.
What I can say is that the book is not what I expected. Its cover certainly suggests that it is a book full of sex. There is sex in ways that are kind of significant to the plot, but I don't think that one would call it a sex book.
It's... I don't know, what is it? I suppose you'd say it's an exploration of power and control in relationships, particularly in bad relationships; how one might be drawn into them and why one might stay in them. The vehicle by which these things are explored here in The Backup is Anthony Brooks, our narrator, who begins the book by receiving his PhD in musicology, which is apparently a thing in which one can receive a PhD. His prospects kind of suck and as a result he ends up being the handler of a wild rock personality, simply named Nik, who people believe is in fact Dionysus. The is-he-or-isn't-he is a driving force of a lot of the plot. His concerts basically turn into wild orgies from the power of his music, or some such.
Also significant is Anthony's Uncle Paul, who helped to raise Anthony, and by a stroke of good fortune happens to be a record label executive of some kind, who handles Nik, uh, off the books. Uncle Paul has his own opaque agenda going on here and so it is not merely about controlling romantic relationships - but really anyone who wants to exercise power over another person and how they go about doing so.
At times I struggled to keep up with Anthony because his voice is one of a person who is well-versed in music history, the product, certainly, of an author who has an advanced degree in the music field, though Erica, if I remember right, has a master's degree in something music but not musicology. I don't believe it makes the story impenetrable, which is a good thing as there's more than one session of Anthony asking Nik about composers with whom Nik was supposedly involved, you know, carnally.
While I don't know my music history enough to understand why Nik disdainfully refers to Bach's compositions as "math," and while I certainly don't know enough music theory to completely grok the way that Anthony breaks down certain pieces of music, I can nonetheless roll with the world as it is presented to me: That Nik is a force of chaos who is trying to break down the stoic academia Ivory Tower attitude of Anthony. Like Paula Abdul (about whom I could not guess Nik's opinion or personal experience) sang, opposites attract, right?
It's more complicated than all of that, of course, because it turns out that the FBI has been investigating Nik for like a decade, and now that Anthony has shown up, they're up in his business as well. There is a tendency for things to get out of control at Nik's shows - beyond just the orgies - and in fact people have died.
In my estimation, Nik deflects blame with the practiced antipathy of an abuser who knows he'll never be caught. This makes Anthony an enabler in many ways, of which he is well aware as he embarks on this whole misadventure. This is a creepy book and if one wants to really wrestle with some of the ideas presented it will probably leave your skin crawling and leave you feeling like you need a shower. I guess that maybe sounds like an insult but it's not meant as one. This is not somebody's light "beach read" or some such. That's all I'm trying to say.
One thing I found clever here is something that often comes across as clunky or hack-like in other books where I have seen the device is the way that Erica makes use of Anthony writing some blog posts as a way to both advance the plot and keep certain characters who will be important later in the reader's attention in the comments sections. I can't quite call it a Greek chorus as their voices are distinct from one another, but there's a definite peanut gallery commenting on the developments in a way that really works. It's significant to get that kind of outside perspective on what is going on beyond the world of Anthony's head.
Another device was more puzzling to me. Each chapter is scrupulously given a specific date - spanning a bit over a year in 2011-12 - but I never figured out why this is. I guess it's important to show the passage of time; there is significance to when things are happening closely packed together compared to when things are happening at a more leisurely pace, with time between events. That said, I think that I would have liked if there was some attempt to give more of a grounding to those some of the particular days mentioned.
For instance, early on there is mention of a party in San Francisco and some background people are said to be "talking about the latest Giants game." This party takes place on a specific date: May 13, 2011. That was a Friday and there was a Giants game that night. Maybe instead those people could have been watching that Giants game. Later, as the year advanced to 2012, some background references to things that happened, like the ongoing presidential campaign of that year, would have strengthened the tie to a particular day.
A counter to my own argument, I am sure, is that the lack of such references drives home Anthony's isolation from any kind of normal life - and Anthony, certainly, would have been unlikely to much care in writing his blog post on February 4, 2012 that the Super Bowl was the next day; nor would he care as the tour bus left on February 6, 2012 that the Super Bowl was the previous day. Still - the specificity of the dates and the years seems to me like it needs at least SOME real world in-the-background happenings. And if they are there and I missed them, apologies to Erica for being daft.
If any of the above intrigues you at all, you should read my friend's book.
As an outro, behind spoiler tags, some further musing about the title of the book.
January 6, 2016
The Backup by author Erica Kudisch is an unusual read, not something you get right away, many twists and turns. I was both confused and loving it at the same time. Nothing is as it seems at first in this book. I loved that aspect. I also loved how the author made me feel very connected to Anthony. He is a funny, sweet, and sometimes uptight character. He likes his classical music and is always doing his musical math in his head. Order is what he likes in his music and his life.
Nik is the opposite of order. He is chaos incarnate. Lead singer to a popular band. Messy, only really cares about his music not the people that listen to it or anything like bills or real life.
That is the surface of these characters. Once you get reading this book you find out that Anthony has many more layers to reveal and Nik well ...Nik is more than meets the eye. He might be the one that can save Anthony from himself or the one who damns him for all time.
I loved watching Anthony grow into his own. He finds himself in this book and learns sometimes you have to be your own white knight.
When you want a thought provoking read with twists and turns, this is the book to pick up.
Five Shooting Stars
Nik is the opposite of order. He is chaos incarnate. Lead singer to a popular band. Messy, only really cares about his music not the people that listen to it or anything like bills or real life.
That is the surface of these characters. Once you get reading this book you find out that Anthony has many more layers to reveal and Nik well ...Nik is more than meets the eye. He might be the one that can save Anthony from himself or the one who damns him for all time.
I loved watching Anthony grow into his own. He finds himself in this book and learns sometimes you have to be your own white knight.
When you want a thought provoking read with twists and turns, this is the book to pick up.
Five Shooting Stars
June 15, 2017
i don't know if it's my lack of knowledge in music or my lack of knowledge in greek gods, but half of the time, i didn't know what was going on. i'm glad the author trusted her readers enough to assume they'd keep up, but for me, it was often too vague.
some of my issues:
...and a dozen other things. it was all so VAGUE and it frustrates me to no end because the writing, the characters, the plot - really has potential:
all in all - a refreshing read because it's so different from what i usually read, and yet lacking many of the things that could have made it an outstanding story.
some of my issues:
...and a dozen other things. it was all so VAGUE and it frustrates me to no end because the writing, the characters, the plot - really has potential:
all in all - a refreshing read because it's so different from what i usually read, and yet lacking many of the things that could have made it an outstanding story.
May 29, 2016
I read The Backup three weeks ago and as I’m still contemplating the book, thinking about what I read, wondering if I understood it as the author intended, that makes it a 5-star read for me. What follows is what I stayed up to write out so I could get my thoughts down on paper because I wasn’t sure how well I would be able to process it after I fell asleep because I was up until the wee hours of the morning finishing the book. It’s a mess of a review, but it still holds true.
I don't know how to write this review. I'm baffled. I'm confused. I'm not entirely certain that I understand what I read. I'm not sure if my confusion is because much of the music terminology in the beginning was over my head. Or maybe I connected with Anthony better than I realized. Maybe it was a combination of the two.
Frustration. Confusion. Acceptance. Out. I just wanted out.
This book made me think harder than I have in a long time, and for that alone it gets five stars. In the beginning, I scoffed too. I agreed with Anthony's assessment about the Kool-Aid and that Nik bought into his own hype. I suspect if I were to re-read it right now, even knowing what I know, I still would scoff. That's because I'm still not sure if I fully understand what I read. I also think that this is a book that will read different every time you pick it up.
I found this to be a very heavy read, but you may not. It's true that everyone reads a book differently because of their own personal experiences. I think that applies even more to this book. I suspect some readers will dive in, accept Nik at face value, and enjoy the ride. I envy those readers because as I write this I've come to understand that I connected with Anthony better than I realized and it makes my head hurt. I might not understand fully what I read, but I enjoyed the journey.
Final note: My references to not understanding have nothing to do with the author’s writing style, but rather the way in which the story unfolded – it left me wondering whose truth was to be believed – but I truly believe that was intentional on the author’s part. The Backup was a fascinating read and one which I will read again.
I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Angela at Crystal's Many Reviewers!
I don't know how to write this review. I'm baffled. I'm confused. I'm not entirely certain that I understand what I read. I'm not sure if my confusion is because much of the music terminology in the beginning was over my head. Or maybe I connected with Anthony better than I realized. Maybe it was a combination of the two.
Frustration. Confusion. Acceptance. Out. I just wanted out.
This book made me think harder than I have in a long time, and for that alone it gets five stars. In the beginning, I scoffed too. I agreed with Anthony's assessment about the Kool-Aid and that Nik bought into his own hype. I suspect if I were to re-read it right now, even knowing what I know, I still would scoff. That's because I'm still not sure if I fully understand what I read. I also think that this is a book that will read different every time you pick it up.
I found this to be a very heavy read, but you may not. It's true that everyone reads a book differently because of their own personal experiences. I think that applies even more to this book. I suspect some readers will dive in, accept Nik at face value, and enjoy the ride. I envy those readers because as I write this I've come to understand that I connected with Anthony better than I realized and it makes my head hurt. I might not understand fully what I read, but I enjoyed the journey.
Final note: My references to not understanding have nothing to do with the author’s writing style, but rather the way in which the story unfolded – it left me wondering whose truth was to be believed – but I truly believe that was intentional on the author’s part. The Backup was a fascinating read and one which I will read again.
I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Angela at Crystal's Many Reviewers!
January 30, 2016
****Reviewed for Prism Book Alliance®****
2.5 Stars rounded up -
So, I had a really hard time with The Backup. Some of it was my fault – I didn’t read the publishers genres (it is one of Riptide’s new Anglerfish Press Imprint titles) and went by Goodreads’ shelving. This is not a romance in the least and I kept waiting for a connection between Nik and Anthony. Some of it was just the overall confusion of twists and turns that were obscured by musical references that I didn’t get. Some of it was just the plain assholish-ness of the main characters.
Anthony is snobby about music and proud of it. Recent recipient of his Musicologist PhD and looking for work, his uncle hooks him up with Nik, a notorious rock musician, as his handler to make ends meet. Nik is rumoured to be the God Dionysus and his concerts always get out of control and often ends with mysterious deaths. Nik himself doesn’t seem to see much in Anthony, dismissing his type of music as “math” and treats him poorly. Anthony sees Nik as a fraud and has equal loathing for Nik. The sex between them is angry, hateful and borders non-con (and is low on the explicit meter).
Details are doled out sparingly and I didn’t always get the references. Music is used as a frame work for everything, and while I love music, I hadn’t even heard of some of the composers or understood what was being talked about.
The writing did have a good flow and a lyrical quality to it. I can see how some people would really enjoy it. If I wasn’t expecting a romance to somehow develop, I might have been able to let go and enjoy the ride a bit more – except for not understanding some key details still. So don’t let my experience dissuade you. However, if you find yourself still going “wtf?” after 20%, it may not be the book for you.
2.5 Stars rounded up -
So, I had a really hard time with The Backup. Some of it was my fault – I didn’t read the publishers genres (it is one of Riptide’s new Anglerfish Press Imprint titles) and went by Goodreads’ shelving. This is not a romance in the least and I kept waiting for a connection between Nik and Anthony. Some of it was just the overall confusion of twists and turns that were obscured by musical references that I didn’t get. Some of it was just the plain assholish-ness of the main characters.
Anthony is snobby about music and proud of it. Recent recipient of his Musicologist PhD and looking for work, his uncle hooks him up with Nik, a notorious rock musician, as his handler to make ends meet. Nik is rumoured to be the God Dionysus and his concerts always get out of control and often ends with mysterious deaths. Nik himself doesn’t seem to see much in Anthony, dismissing his type of music as “math” and treats him poorly. Anthony sees Nik as a fraud and has equal loathing for Nik. The sex between them is angry, hateful and borders non-con (and is low on the explicit meter).
Details are doled out sparingly and I didn’t always get the references. Music is used as a frame work for everything, and while I love music, I hadn’t even heard of some of the composers or understood what was being talked about.
The writing did have a good flow and a lyrical quality to it. I can see how some people would really enjoy it. If I wasn’t expecting a romance to somehow develop, I might have been able to let go and enjoy the ride a bit more – except for not understanding some key details still. So don’t let my experience dissuade you. However, if you find yourself still going “wtf?” after 20%, it may not be the book for you.
January 29, 2016
A Joyfully Jay review.
2.5 stars
This was a difficult book to read as a clear plot never evolved and at the end of the book I’m left with clues, mostly thinly veiled, as to what this book was truly about. I like books that are different and even ones that make you work for it, but at some point the plot and the reason has to be shared with the reader, even if it’s just enough to form our own conclusion, and this was not the case here for me. This read as if the author weaved a thought altering tapestry of a story for the characters in regards to Nik’s persona and influence, but in the end still didn’t want to fully share what was in her mind.
The book is told from Anthony’s first person POV and first person is a style I will often seek out. But let’s see…Anthony is miserable throughout the entire book. There are no instances we are shown that Anthony has ever been anything but miserable for even a moment and he alternates between being cranky, depressed, mean, and disillusioned. He believes his views on music are the only correct ones, that he is better than everyone, and refuses to even acknowledge that there could be any validity to any other viewpoint. He’s so outraged at having to take this job handling Nik that he is obstinate from the first word, even when he takes up residence in the man’s home. Everything we see of Nik is filtered through Anthony, but it’s all skewed because he despises Nik and doesn’t believe in him until he does…maybe.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
2.5 stars
This was a difficult book to read as a clear plot never evolved and at the end of the book I’m left with clues, mostly thinly veiled, as to what this book was truly about. I like books that are different and even ones that make you work for it, but at some point the plot and the reason has to be shared with the reader, even if it’s just enough to form our own conclusion, and this was not the case here for me. This read as if the author weaved a thought altering tapestry of a story for the characters in regards to Nik’s persona and influence, but in the end still didn’t want to fully share what was in her mind.
The book is told from Anthony’s first person POV and first person is a style I will often seek out. But let’s see…Anthony is miserable throughout the entire book. There are no instances we are shown that Anthony has ever been anything but miserable for even a moment and he alternates between being cranky, depressed, mean, and disillusioned. He believes his views on music are the only correct ones, that he is better than everyone, and refuses to even acknowledge that there could be any validity to any other viewpoint. He’s so outraged at having to take this job handling Nik that he is obstinate from the first word, even when he takes up residence in the man’s home. Everything we see of Nik is filtered through Anthony, but it’s all skewed because he despises Nik and doesn’t believe in him until he does…maybe.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
Read
January 29, 2016This book gave me everything I wanted from it. It's dark and lyrical and compelling and terrifying. Will write a more coherent review later, but . . . yes. Good. Very good.
Be careful what you believe in.
Be careful what you believe in.
April 2, 2022
I really like this book as it was very interesting. I couldn't drop it after I started reading it although I had no idea what was going on the entire time in the book.
I'd really appreciate it if someone could answer some questions I have about the book to clear up some of my confusion.
Why were the people dying, Did Nik have some special power? What did Nik do to Paul? Does the mask symbolize something? What does Anthony's mother have to do with Nik (the wireless password)? What was the purpose of Anthony having sex with Nik, What does that have to do with the people who were dying? What happened to Elise? What was the point of Anthony's blog? What happens to Nik and Paul at the end?
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, so many questions!!! This book is like the song that kept repeatedly playing in Anthony's head. It's going to be in my mind for a long timeee.
I'm just so sad that I didn't understand the book because I definitely enjoyed it.
I'd really appreciate it if someone could answer some questions I have about the book to clear up some of my confusion.
Why were the people dying, Did Nik have some special power? What did Nik do to Paul? Does the mask symbolize something? What does Anthony's mother have to do with Nik (the wireless password)? What was the purpose of Anthony having sex with Nik, What does that have to do with the people who were dying? What happened to Elise? What was the point of Anthony's blog? What happens to Nik and Paul at the end?
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, so many questions!!! This book is like the song that kept repeatedly playing in Anthony's head. It's going to be in my mind for a long timeee.
I'm just so sad that I didn't understand the book because I definitely enjoyed it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 12, 2017
Not a huge fan. Seemed unresolved. The action + tension repeated over and over with no lessons learned or consequences earned. I never really understood Anthony's motivations. Really awesome premise, however.
February 21, 2017
This is a dark, weird book, that's very smart about music and mythology. It's a not-for-everyone read, but it's EXACTLY the right book for the right reader. Also, the pacing is positively excellent. Prepare for an all-night read.
July 20, 2016
I found reference to this book at Rock Fiction reviews (https://therockofpages.com) and skipped over to amazon to read reviews. Kind of a lot of unhappy reviews over there, but I downloaded the sample, and was sucked in enough to buy the full book immediately upon finishing the sample.
This is one weirdly awesome, amazing book.
There are a lot of DNF reviewers over here at Goodreads on this one, so I kind of wanted to address those in this review first...
1) Erica Kudisch makes the reader work. Not her writing style, but the way she very slowly doles out information. Personally, I detest it when a narrator spoon-feeds me every little nuance. I love it when I find myself savoring details that I know I won't quite understand until later in the story.
A lot of readers, especially those who read Indie work, hate this. They've gotten used to really simple-minded narrators who lay out everything for them and don't make them work to "get" the story.
Either way is personal preference. I happen to prefer it when the author makes me work for it.
2) The characters aren't particularly likeable. Tony (the first person narrator throughout the whole novel) is a real debbie downer, and Nik is seriously an arrogant prick. And there are tons of references probably only a music student would understand entirely.
BUT - and this is a huge caveat .... and maybe a spoiler. Tony is a very negative, self-absorbed person. Nik is basically a hedonist.
Okay, back to overall review, which will probably be brief.
I had a moment when I got tired of Tony's whining and complaining, but once I understood that Tony's negativity was actually part of the plot and the story, I couldn't put this book down. And when he started making really stupid mistakes, things that were going to come back at him in a life-destroying way, or just piss Nik off completely, I was sucked in that much more.
There was a point where I glanced at my kindle progress and saw I was only at 40% of the book, and I REJOICED because I felt like I'd already had such a great experience, and yet there was so much more to come.
It's important to know, going in, I think, that this is not a romance novel. I knew this because I'd done the digging and read some reviews. Had I expected these guys to develop a happily ever after relationship, I probably would have been sorely disappointed.
There is no happily ever after between these characters. This is not a romance novel. The book ends pretty much where I guess it has to. One reveal at the end kind of was a little too cliche for me, but eh, it's not my story. It's Erica Kudisch's story. And the reveal was kind of fitting, actually, due to some of the events that happened later in the story, and referenced an interaction between Tony and Nik from very early in the story, and that reference made me laugh out loud.
Bravo, Erica - this was a crazy hella wonderful mind fuck, and I absolutely adored it.
This is one weirdly awesome, amazing book.
There are a lot of DNF reviewers over here at Goodreads on this one, so I kind of wanted to address those in this review first...
1) Erica Kudisch makes the reader work. Not her writing style, but the way she very slowly doles out information. Personally, I detest it when a narrator spoon-feeds me every little nuance. I love it when I find myself savoring details that I know I won't quite understand until later in the story.
A lot of readers, especially those who read Indie work, hate this. They've gotten used to really simple-minded narrators who lay out everything for them and don't make them work to "get" the story.
Either way is personal preference. I happen to prefer it when the author makes me work for it.
2) The characters aren't particularly likeable. Tony (the first person narrator throughout the whole novel) is a real debbie downer, and Nik is seriously an arrogant prick. And there are tons of references probably only a music student would understand entirely.
BUT - and this is a huge caveat .... and maybe a spoiler. Tony is a very negative, self-absorbed person. Nik is basically a hedonist.
Okay, back to overall review, which will probably be brief.
I had a moment when I got tired of Tony's whining and complaining, but once I understood that Tony's negativity was actually part of the plot and the story, I couldn't put this book down. And when he started making really stupid mistakes, things that were going to come back at him in a life-destroying way, or just piss Nik off completely, I was sucked in that much more.
There was a point where I glanced at my kindle progress and saw I was only at 40% of the book, and I REJOICED because I felt like I'd already had such a great experience, and yet there was so much more to come.
It's important to know, going in, I think, that this is not a romance novel. I knew this because I'd done the digging and read some reviews. Had I expected these guys to develop a happily ever after relationship, I probably would have been sorely disappointed.
There is no happily ever after between these characters. This is not a romance novel. The book ends pretty much where I guess it has to. One reveal at the end kind of was a little too cliche for me, but eh, it's not my story. It's Erica Kudisch's story. And the reveal was kind of fitting, actually, due to some of the events that happened later in the story, and referenced an interaction between Tony and Nik from very early in the story, and that reference made me laugh out loud.
Bravo, Erica - this was a crazy hella wonderful mind fuck, and I absolutely adored it.
August 29, 2016
I've been a longtime reader of Kudisch's fanfic - to the point where I've sometimes actively read the works her other fic has been based on purely so I could read more. For about seven years now, her work has always been the ultimate standard of what good writing constitutes for me; I can't overstate the extent to which it's been seminal to my own development as a writer.
When fandom authors publish original work, I've found that there's almost always a dip in quality - understandably, given they're working within entirely different parameters, with far less of the gaps filled in for them; it's an entirely different mode of writing, and it's scarcely an easy adjustment to make. So, I was a little apprehensive in picking up The Backup.
I needn't have worried.
Kudisch displays the same flawless economy of style - the rhythm of her work is, as ever, gorgeous. First person is a difficult mode if you're trying to be lyrical, but there's such control here, such building and stylistic growth, that she succeeds beautifully.
The dialogue pretty much sings. Nik and Anthony's exchanges are beautiful, and there's substance to what they're saying; their debates are compelling as all hell, and not a single sentence is wasted.
Anthony himself is intensely relatable - and his judgemental-yet-simultaneously-self-deprecating tone charming beyond words. The only part that didn't quite work for me [vague spoilers??] was his apathy towards the end, if only because I'd taken such delight in how combative he had been before, and found myself detaching the same way he did - but the payoff in the final few chapters was so vivid and lovely that it immediately made what had come before seem necessary.
Towards the end, it felt like it was building up to something quasi-allegorical - something about the creative process itself, or even on transformative work. More of this on the reread, perhaps - and you'd between believe I'll be rereading. (And re-rereading. Etc.) I do feel as though there's definite continuity between this and Kudisch's fannish oevre; she's tightened her style, but certain phrases and themes leap out as continuations of thoughts previously explored - it's lovely to see her develop. The novel form allows her to make use of repeated motifs in ways that are more overt, and more complete, than before. I found myself reading with total care, for fear of missing the nuance of even a single line.
(And yeah, not a romance. We knew this going in. And yet - frivolous, maybe, in light of how she's saying things that are so much bigger - AND YET, still full of satisfying chemistry. Still blisteringly hot. The whole Anthony-picking-on-every-NON-innuendo-Nik-uses section was masterful in that respect. And you know what? Still some genuinely touching moments between the two, if you like your pairings dark. YMMV, and maybe I'm missing the point here, but ambivalence, animosity and obsession are my narrative jam.)
So, all in all, five stars. Emphatically, five stars.
When fandom authors publish original work, I've found that there's almost always a dip in quality - understandably, given they're working within entirely different parameters, with far less of the gaps filled in for them; it's an entirely different mode of writing, and it's scarcely an easy adjustment to make. So, I was a little apprehensive in picking up The Backup.
I needn't have worried.
Kudisch displays the same flawless economy of style - the rhythm of her work is, as ever, gorgeous. First person is a difficult mode if you're trying to be lyrical, but there's such control here, such building and stylistic growth, that she succeeds beautifully.
The dialogue pretty much sings. Nik and Anthony's exchanges are beautiful, and there's substance to what they're saying; their debates are compelling as all hell, and not a single sentence is wasted.
Anthony himself is intensely relatable - and his judgemental-yet-simultaneously-self-deprecating tone charming beyond words. The only part that didn't quite work for me [vague spoilers??] was his apathy towards the end, if only because I'd taken such delight in how combative he had been before, and found myself detaching the same way he did - but the payoff in the final few chapters was so vivid and lovely that it immediately made what had come before seem necessary.
Towards the end, it felt like it was building up to something quasi-allegorical - something about the creative process itself, or even on transformative work. More of this on the reread, perhaps - and you'd between believe I'll be rereading. (And re-rereading. Etc.) I do feel as though there's definite continuity between this and Kudisch's fannish oevre; she's tightened her style, but certain phrases and themes leap out as continuations of thoughts previously explored - it's lovely to see her develop. The novel form allows her to make use of repeated motifs in ways that are more overt, and more complete, than before. I found myself reading with total care, for fear of missing the nuance of even a single line.
(And yeah, not a romance. We knew this going in. And yet - frivolous, maybe, in light of how she's saying things that are so much bigger - AND YET, still full of satisfying chemistry. Still blisteringly hot. The whole Anthony-picking-on-every-NON-innuendo-Nik-uses section was masterful in that respect. And you know what? Still some genuinely touching moments between the two, if you like your pairings dark. YMMV, and maybe I'm missing the point here, but ambivalence, animosity and obsession are my narrative jam.)
So, all in all, five stars. Emphatically, five stars.
September 13, 2016
I went into this thinking it was a romance so I was a bit thrown off at first. Fortunately I like mysteries and darker reads so once I got over my initial thoughts I was able to get into this story. Anthony has a PhD in Musicology and ends up working as a handler for Nik, who is a spoiled rock star. Many believe Nik to be Dionysus and it makes sense with the level of chaos he brings with him. Anthoy's uncle in a manager and is also involved in the plot. As the story goes on we find out that the FBI has been watching Nik for years due to some deaths that happen around his concerts. Anthony finds himself in the middle of all this.
It's hard to say much for about the plot without spoilers. I think the main thing you need to know is this is not romance. It's more mystery/fantasy/paranormal. It's hard to explain and/or put in a box. This book is darker and has some things that may bother some readers. If you're looking for a feel good romance this is not the book for you. If you're open to something unique and darker this may be something you would like. I would have rated it higher but all the music references etc were over my head and I wasn't always sure what was going on. That is probably more my problem than the quality of the book.
*review copy provided by Netgalley*
It's hard to say much for about the plot without spoilers. I think the main thing you need to know is this is not romance. It's more mystery/fantasy/paranormal. It's hard to explain and/or put in a box. This book is darker and has some things that may bother some readers. If you're looking for a feel good romance this is not the book for you. If you're open to something unique and darker this may be something you would like. I would have rated it higher but all the music references etc were over my head and I wasn't always sure what was going on. That is probably more my problem than the quality of the book.
*review copy provided by Netgalley*
February 11, 2016
3 Heart Review by Amber
When I first started this book I couldn’t really get into it but it was interesting so I kept picking it up and chipping away at it. And the craziest thing happened I found myself totally interested in it. This books is off the chain CRAZY. So crazy, in fact that at times I found it hard to follow. The saving grace was this author’s attention to detail and amazing writing skill. One thing this story does is draw you in. I needed to find out how this ended. I needed to know what was to become of these characters and I think being able to build that need, even if a book isn’t your cup of tea, is what makes a good writer.
Anthony Brooks is the epitome of a music snob. Having just graduated with his PhD in musicology he pretty much has every right to be as snobby as he wants. Having no luck finding a job using his degree he agrees to help manage/handle rocker God, Nik.
Nik proclaims that he is pleasure God, Dionysus. Anthony has a hard time believing the hype which in turn makes most interactions with Nik contentious.
They fall into a professional/personal/violent relationship. There’s lots of mystery. Lots of things that need to be uncovered. This is a very dark story. There’s no sunshine and rainbows here so keep that in mind.
I don’t want to give too much away because the mystery and the writing definitely keep you coming back for more. I will say I found Anthony annoying. He was so whiny, so bratty, so entitled that it was hard for me to feel bad for his situation.
Overall, this book is interesting. This is not a romance. This is mind fucking at its best so keep that in mind. It wasn’t my cup of tea but that’s not to say others wouldn’t love it.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
When I first started this book I couldn’t really get into it but it was interesting so I kept picking it up and chipping away at it. And the craziest thing happened I found myself totally interested in it. This books is off the chain CRAZY. So crazy, in fact that at times I found it hard to follow. The saving grace was this author’s attention to detail and amazing writing skill. One thing this story does is draw you in. I needed to find out how this ended. I needed to know what was to become of these characters and I think being able to build that need, even if a book isn’t your cup of tea, is what makes a good writer.
Anthony Brooks is the epitome of a music snob. Having just graduated with his PhD in musicology he pretty much has every right to be as snobby as he wants. Having no luck finding a job using his degree he agrees to help manage/handle rocker God, Nik.
Nik proclaims that he is pleasure God, Dionysus. Anthony has a hard time believing the hype which in turn makes most interactions with Nik contentious.
They fall into a professional/personal/violent relationship. There’s lots of mystery. Lots of things that need to be uncovered. This is a very dark story. There’s no sunshine and rainbows here so keep that in mind.
I don’t want to give too much away because the mystery and the writing definitely keep you coming back for more. I will say I found Anthony annoying. He was so whiny, so bratty, so entitled that it was hard for me to feel bad for his situation.
Overall, this book is interesting. This is not a romance. This is mind fucking at its best so keep that in mind. It wasn’t my cup of tea but that’s not to say others wouldn’t love it.
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
July 30, 2021
The Backup is like watching a soul slowly crumble apart. There’s a certain horror to it, a weird beauty, hints of defiance and sadness that make it both terrifying and fascinating at the same time.
This book manages to capture the essence of the Greek gods like they are in the old tales. Egocentric, with no real understanding of the humans they exist among and a resentful greed that threatens to destroy everyone they come into contact with. The god here is Dionysos, calling himself Nik, a musician whose concerts escalate into chaos. And the man he wants, though it’s never entirely clear if he wants to destroy him or maybe make him more, is Anthony Brooks. Who doesn’t really want to be more, or possessed, so Nik does his best to break him instead.
I have to be honest here, I didn’t understand this book entirely. The story is told from the first person perspective of Anthony, which puts the reader right into the middle of all the confusion and desperation, the slow loss of sanity. I really liked that. But I would also have liked to get some understanding of certain events in the past that somehow seemed important to the story, especially towards the end, like what happened to Anthony’s parents.
Another thing I don’t understand is the choice of title, though that could be because I’m no native English speaker and some things always get lost in translation. I figure it’s got something to do with music, but I’m not sure.
Altogether, though, it’s a really good story, very well written and with an interesting plot. It left me wanting more, but in a good way.
This book manages to capture the essence of the Greek gods like they are in the old tales. Egocentric, with no real understanding of the humans they exist among and a resentful greed that threatens to destroy everyone they come into contact with. The god here is Dionysos, calling himself Nik, a musician whose concerts escalate into chaos. And the man he wants, though it’s never entirely clear if he wants to destroy him or maybe make him more, is Anthony Brooks. Who doesn’t really want to be more, or possessed, so Nik does his best to break him instead.
I have to be honest here, I didn’t understand this book entirely. The story is told from the first person perspective of Anthony, which puts the reader right into the middle of all the confusion and desperation, the slow loss of sanity. I really liked that. But I would also have liked to get some understanding of certain events in the past that somehow seemed important to the story, especially towards the end, like what happened to Anthony’s parents.
Another thing I don’t understand is the choice of title, though that could be because I’m no native English speaker and some things always get lost in translation. I figure it’s got something to do with music, but I’m not sure.
Altogether, though, it’s a really good story, very well written and with an interesting plot. It left me wanting more, but in a good way.
January 26, 2016
Disclaimer: The author is a good friend, and I read this in several drafts. That said, I'm usually pretty straightforward in my criticism and I genuinely think this was excellent.
Also, disturbing as all hell. The central relationship is entirely about power structures and mind games, and Kudisch has a lot to say about both. It's subtle and layered and completely engrossing. There are elements of horror here, although it's not a full-blown horror novel. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I'm not much of a nihilist and I was satisfied by the ending.
Mostly, I was just fascinated by the characters. Our protagonist is not a particularly likeable person, but I was fully drawn into his head. Anthony is a fascinatingly flawed human being, who doesn't deserve what he thinks he does, but also doesn't deserve to be stranded with Nik. Nik, on the other hand, is entirely inhuman but still intriguingly complex. The plot is engagingly twisty and the side characters suitably interesting, but really, this book is about the central relationship in all its messed-up glory. Also, fame and power and what it means to be an artist, and the teetering balance between Apollonian and Dionysian creation. But mostly about wanting, and what you're willing to do to assuage that wanting.
Also, you'll learn enough random factoids about music theory and history that you'll feel kinda smart at the end.
Also, disturbing as all hell. The central relationship is entirely about power structures and mind games, and Kudisch has a lot to say about both. It's subtle and layered and completely engrossing. There are elements of horror here, although it's not a full-blown horror novel. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I'm not much of a nihilist and I was satisfied by the ending.
Mostly, I was just fascinated by the characters. Our protagonist is not a particularly likeable person, but I was fully drawn into his head. Anthony is a fascinatingly flawed human being, who doesn't deserve what he thinks he does, but also doesn't deserve to be stranded with Nik. Nik, on the other hand, is entirely inhuman but still intriguingly complex. The plot is engagingly twisty and the side characters suitably interesting, but really, this book is about the central relationship in all its messed-up glory. Also, fame and power and what it means to be an artist, and the teetering balance between Apollonian and Dionysian creation. But mostly about wanting, and what you're willing to do to assuage that wanting.
Also, you'll learn enough random factoids about music theory and history that you'll feel kinda smart at the end.
May 11, 2017
This book has way too many questions and not enough answers. The main character is nothing more than a pompous ass who doesn't even know he's biracial (black and white). One character who's apparently sixteen I thought was eight.
Not worth the read. Leave now before you end up as a mask on the wall.
Not worth the read. Leave now before you end up as a mask on the wall.
January 30, 2016
I'm still not sure what I think about this book. From the description, and knowing Riptide publishing , I expected this to be a smutty romance. An uptight nerdy guy falls in love with a rock star with supernatural powers. Instead, this is more a book about music, life choices and being in a complicated situation.
Anthony, the MC, is kind of an entitled jerk. He obviously knows a lot about music, but he can be quite condescending and even violent towards people who disagree with him, even on rather petty things.
The thing is,I was wondering throughout the book ,does the story criticizes Anthony's behavior, or are we suppose to like him? For example, he keeps whining about how his job his horrible and that he can't find a tenure track position. But he lives in New York, earns a decent amount of money, and is involved in the music industry. Is it really that bad? On the other hand, people do tell him that.
Also, I felt that the final parts of the book were too enigmatic. Some plot elements weren't so clear, and I felt that I didn't understand well enough what was going on. Maybe it's clearer on a second reading.
Overall, I think this is a good book, and very different from the usual fare from Riptide, even though some additional editorial polishing could have improved it.
Anthony, the MC, is kind of an entitled jerk. He obviously knows a lot about music, but he can be quite condescending and even violent towards people who disagree with him, even on rather petty things.
The thing is,I was wondering throughout the book ,does the story criticizes Anthony's behavior, or are we suppose to like him? For example, he keeps whining about how his job his horrible and that he can't find a tenure track position. But he lives in New York, earns a decent amount of money, and is involved in the music industry. Is it really that bad? On the other hand, people do tell him that.
Also, I felt that the final parts of the book were too enigmatic. Some plot elements weren't so clear, and I felt that I didn't understand well enough what was going on. Maybe it's clearer on a second reading.
Overall, I think this is a good book, and very different from the usual fare from Riptide, even though some additional editorial polishing could have improved it.
March 13, 2016
The Backup
Erica Kudisch
Bacchus is the rockstar Nik. Anthony is the boy who can’t play music. Not real music, anyway. There is so much music in this, singing and screaming off the page, in quiet piano moments, in iPods and soundproof rooms and concert halls. It’s wonderful.
Erica writes vividly and lusciously. The characters, at first unlikeable (but not TOO unlikeable) are slowly revealed. Depths, conflicts, pain, and the human and religious experience. This is a novel to be experienced, rather than read, and it’s addicting.
The good: Protagonists of color, a solid grasp of classical music, a tactile setting.
The bad: Nonconsensual sex, a non-evocative title.
This book is risky. Read a preview first, to see if you can stand it. Splendor awaits. Disclaimer: I know nothing about music. I still loved it.
Four stars.
~ C. E. Case
I was provided this book by Inked Rainbow Reads in exchange for an honest review. I was not compensated, coerced, or flattered into an opinion.
Erica Kudisch
Bacchus is the rockstar Nik. Anthony is the boy who can’t play music. Not real music, anyway. There is so much music in this, singing and screaming off the page, in quiet piano moments, in iPods and soundproof rooms and concert halls. It’s wonderful.
Erica writes vividly and lusciously. The characters, at first unlikeable (but not TOO unlikeable) are slowly revealed. Depths, conflicts, pain, and the human and religious experience. This is a novel to be experienced, rather than read, and it’s addicting.
The good: Protagonists of color, a solid grasp of classical music, a tactile setting.
The bad: Nonconsensual sex, a non-evocative title.
This book is risky. Read a preview first, to see if you can stand it. Splendor awaits. Disclaimer: I know nothing about music. I still loved it.
Four stars.
~ C. E. Case
I was provided this book by Inked Rainbow Reads in exchange for an honest review. I was not compensated, coerced, or flattered into an opinion.
June 17, 2016
I have no idea WTF this book was about. It was well written and had some nice prose at times, but I felt like Anthony was a whiny character who complained about his life's situation and did nothing about it until he was backed into a corner and let someone else do it for him. He was snobby to the point of being a character I abhorred. Nic wasn't much better, but at least he was interesting.
It felt like the author just wanted to show off how much she knew about classical music. Blerg.. If you enjoy self absorbed characters with a plot that feels like it goes no where, give this a shot.
It felt like the author just wanted to show off how much she knew about classical music. Blerg.. If you enjoy self absorbed characters with a plot that feels like it goes no where, give this a shot.
May 22, 2016
This was a very weird story. I think this is a take it or leave it story. It would have only made sense to people mostly with a music background and/or those with interest in mythology. I get at the end what happened, and the overall gist, but this...I can't say was one of my favorites. Everything was slow. The plot made sense, but it was so minute that I couldn't get into it. I finished the book, yeah, but just didn't like it very much. There's no romance, little to no male/male relationship. If anything it's a God with no gender preference for sex and a gay man that he is interested in. Neither of which make this really an M/M romance. I just...this book is dark and weird.
March 26, 2016
I tried. I gave it all I could. But it gave me nothing back. Well, maybe a little spiral down into madness.
I liked what this book could have been more than what I actually read. I liked the concept of Nik, his mind games, his music. At the other end of the spectrum was Anthony, his anger at everything. With that was repetitiveness, over explanation of music and history. While I did learn some things, it was too much pushed on me.
I liked what this book could have been more than what I actually read. I liked the concept of Nik, his mind games, his music. At the other end of the spectrum was Anthony, his anger at everything. With that was repetitiveness, over explanation of music and history. While I did learn some things, it was too much pushed on me.
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