Caroline Lucas is the real deal, man. Yes, she is.
She is the dirtiest, most disgusting, worst thing the establishment has ever seen since The Sex Pistols. And she is fucking brilliant. Independent, consistent, bathes in a deep vat of integrity-laden goo every single hour of every single day for one thing. The people. The people she represents, yes. But, also the people of the world at the same time. There is not an ounce whatsoever of the deep entrenching stomach bile of hatred that most of this disillusioned country feels about politicians, and have done for so many years now. With no effort on their part to repair the damaged status quo.
I’m talking about expenses, race rows, hating jews, back-stabbing ministers (waves at Michael Gove), corruption, laying down on policies for the people who funded you into power, none of that. Caroline Lucas is probably the only pure, untouched politician in the country.
A lot of her policies are from the heart and that’s great, but sometimes that doesn’t work out in real life though. And she wanted the EU referendum to happen as early as 2013, but we will forgive her for that.
I’m not blowing smoke up her ass or sucking her dick because I am here RIGHT HERE in Brighton, England, where she created a tectonic plate shift in Westminster by being voted in as the first ever MP for the Green party, no. Hell, she’s not even my MP. I live in Hove, so technically my over-arching and superior overlord is a member of the Labour party. But her spirit and influence transcends anyone else in power in these ‘ere parts, Sheriff.
If I could vote for her, I would. But, I can’t. At the last election (I think, we’ve had so many), I voted in our sitting Labour MP, just to help kick the fucking Tories out of Sussex. All of East Sussex is now a Tory-free zone, you’re welcome. Normally I wouldn’t vote Labour (after B.Liar took us to an illegal war, I did) but I had to where I am.
Caroline’s book though. That’s where we were. Her book isn’t a boring biography of another politician, or is some tedious policy wonk slog only palatable to students as a resource; this is a book with heart. It’s a book with soul. It’s a big massive fuck you to Parliament, to the publishing industry breaking all of the rules for a book in the “politics genre”, because it’s generally fucking heart-warming and NEWS FLASH, fucking inspiring.
And Jesus, if this country needs one thing, it’s inspiring. And yes, there are a lot of things that I don’t agree with her with. But she is genuinely a breath of fresh air in a stagnant and archaic institution that, let’s face it, bores most of us to death. Electorate turnout figures will agree with me.
We are bored. We are sick of hearing about Brexit. We are sick of hearing about Donald Trump’s cartoon penis. You can have all the secondary referendums that you want. You can have all of the leadership challenges you want. Go ahead, elect a knob-head like Boris Johnson, the fact is Britain has stopped caring.
The sooner the politicians realise this, the better.
So maybe a refreshing voice is what is needed. A woman that isn’t afraid to come into the Parliament of Westminster and try and FUCK SHIT UP, like she has done. The Prime Minister has been called a ‘bloody difficult woman’ and that is laughable. Because Caroline Lucas makes her look like Dora The Explorer.
Caroline Lucas is fucking punk rock. Whether it’s being arrested at a fracking protest, showing up in the chamber in a NO MORE PAGE THREE t-shirt, she is the fucking business.
She is the fucking real deal.