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Char
Dear Author,
With a baby face like this no one ever suspected I’d be the one. The one to burn it all down. I thought I’d feel regret, but with my dragon by my side I don’t need anyone else.
Surely, he’s not alone. Everyone deserves someone to love. Please help him.
Photo Description:
A round-faced young man stands angled toward the viewer, his vivid red hair falling around his shoulders. He looks out of the picture, to the right of the viewer, and in his left hand he cups the huge head of a gray dragon, its yellow eyes gleaming. Embers and ash drift down around them.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love is an Open Road" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
With a baby face like this no one ever suspected I’d be the one. The one to burn it all down. I thought I’d feel regret, but with my dragon by my side I don’t need anyone else.
Surely, he’s not alone. Everyone deserves someone to love. Please help him.
Photo Description:
A round-faced young man stands angled toward the viewer, his vivid red hair falling around his shoulders. He looks out of the picture, to the right of the viewer, and in his left hand he cups the huge head of a gray dragon, its yellow eyes gleaming. Embers and ash drift down around them.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love is an Open Road" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
105 pages, ebook
First published November 19, 2015
1 person is currently reading
107 people want to read
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my-writes
November 19, 2015Wow, so, this is one of the most awkward ways to release a story, ever.
Char was written for the Goodreads M/M Romance group’s 2015 Don’t Read in the Closet event: Love is an Open Road. And I’m not a member of the M/M Romance group any more. Well, M. Caspian is, at least for a few more days. But I’m not. Emma Sea isn't.
As some of you may know, M. Caspian is my pen name. I created it because I didn’t want my friends to feel obliged to read, or say they liked, the tentacle-sex story I wrote back in 2013 as a Xmas gift for my tentacle-loving friends. Yes, Kyn, it’s true: I wrote Kraken just for you. I’m sorry about the lack of MPreg.
That’s all it was going to be: just that one story. But Lisa Henry - who had no idea I was M. Caspian - as well as many other readers, were so enthusiastic and supportive that I just kept going and never looked back. Thank you, all, for your encouragement. So I won’t be stopping now. I’m trying to improve, and that means writing more stories.
I left the M/M Romance group last month. Not because of a story; never that. I left because when people of color expressed their hurt and discomfort about a story they were told, by a mod, to leave the group.
I understand that many of you don't agree with my perspective. It's an emotionally charged issue. I hope I won’t lose any more friends. We’re allowed to disagree - vehemently, passionately, disagree - and still be friends, if we treat one another with respect. That’s the beauty of friendship.
But I didn’t ask to pull this story from release. Because the Don’t Read in the Closet event is special. Char is a collaboration by many people who share a love of the m/m genre. A collaboration between Raevyn, Elizabetta, Sam, about six proof readers, thread wranglers, prompt wranglers, formatters, a quality assurer, my prompt-writer Vivian, a bunch of beta readers, and a group of supportive friends. So you see, the story is not just mine. I don’t have the right, at this point, to take my bat home and say I won’t play any more.
And yet, I can’t allow M. Caspian to benefit from the readership of a group that I left, without being open about the circumstances. So, it’s me. *waves* I’m Emma Sea and I wrote this story. Come say hi.
Char is for Vivian, with love.
Char was written for the Goodreads M/M Romance group’s 2015 Don’t Read in the Closet event: Love is an Open Road. And I’m not a member of the M/M Romance group any more. Well, M. Caspian is, at least for a few more days. But I’m not. Emma Sea isn't.
As some of you may know, M. Caspian is my pen name. I created it because I didn’t want my friends to feel obliged to read, or say they liked, the tentacle-sex story I wrote back in 2013 as a Xmas gift for my tentacle-loving friends. Yes, Kyn, it’s true: I wrote Kraken just for you. I’m sorry about the lack of MPreg.
That’s all it was going to be: just that one story. But Lisa Henry - who had no idea I was M. Caspian - as well as many other readers, were so enthusiastic and supportive that I just kept going and never looked back. Thank you, all, for your encouragement. So I won’t be stopping now. I’m trying to improve, and that means writing more stories.
I left the M/M Romance group last month. Not because of a story; never that. I left because when people of color expressed their hurt and discomfort about a story they were told, by a mod, to leave the group.
I understand that many of you don't agree with my perspective. It's an emotionally charged issue. I hope I won’t lose any more friends. We’re allowed to disagree - vehemently, passionately, disagree - and still be friends, if we treat one another with respect. That’s the beauty of friendship.
But I didn’t ask to pull this story from release. Because the Don’t Read in the Closet event is special. Char is a collaboration by many people who share a love of the m/m genre. A collaboration between Raevyn, Elizabetta, Sam, about six proof readers, thread wranglers, prompt wranglers, formatters, a quality assurer, my prompt-writer Vivian, a bunch of beta readers, and a group of supportive friends. So you see, the story is not just mine. I don’t have the right, at this point, to take my bat home and say I won’t play any more.
And yet, I can’t allow M. Caspian to benefit from the readership of a group that I left, without being open about the circumstances. So, it’s me. *waves* I’m Emma Sea and I wrote this story. Come say hi.
Char is for Vivian, with love.
December 22, 2015
Burn it.
A love song of fire and promise.
Yes, this was my prompt. All I wanted was a dragon and fire; I got so much more than I ever imagined. I'm fairly certain that Caspian is psychic, for there are things here that were unknown. Coveted and mourned.
Fire is elegant, fierce, without mercy, and pure. Too incorporated here to be a separate character, yet, intrinsic and essential. To have this love, this dance scribed down both poetically and yet never losing that gritty reality is beautiful.
This is my dragon, and I love him.
I'm fairly certain the name Caspian is its own warning. If you want a pretty story with an easy ending, then this will not suit. There is pain and torment that grabs hold deep within and yanks. But, if you desire victory rising from the deepest fathoms of Hell, then this is what you want.
And yes, I saw all the special little touches in the story just for me. Even the one you didn't know until it was too late, thank you. I cherish each one, even those which hurt.
Overall, A gift without measure.
*******************************
IT'S HERE!
It's my prompt of dragon and fire *jumps up and down*
Fire, FIRE!
A love song of fire and promise.
Yes, this was my prompt. All I wanted was a dragon and fire; I got so much more than I ever imagined. I'm fairly certain that Caspian is psychic, for there are things here that were unknown. Coveted and mourned.
Fire is elegant, fierce, without mercy, and pure. Too incorporated here to be a separate character, yet, intrinsic and essential. To have this love, this dance scribed down both poetically and yet never losing that gritty reality is beautiful.
This is my dragon, and I love him.
I'm fairly certain the name Caspian is its own warning. If you want a pretty story with an easy ending, then this will not suit. There is pain and torment that grabs hold deep within and yanks. But, if you desire victory rising from the deepest fathoms of Hell, then this is what you want.
And yes, I saw all the special little touches in the story just for me. Even the one you didn't know until it was too late, thank you. I cherish each one, even those which hurt.
Overall, A gift without measure.
*******************************
IT'S HERE!
It's my prompt of dragon and fire *jumps up and down*
Fire, FIRE!
June 8, 2019
3.5 Stars
My first M Caspian, and I barely survived.
Brutal, tragic, devastating in the violence and pain and lost chances.
However, revenge is burned by a hungry fire resulting in a glorious rebirth.
Fabulous premise, making me want more of the intriguing setup between a fae coming into his own and the loyal dragon that is forever his.
My first M Caspian, and I barely survived.
Brutal, tragic, devastating in the violence and pain and lost chances.
However, revenge is burned by a hungry fire resulting in a glorious rebirth.
Fabulous premise, making me want more of the intriguing setup between a fae coming into his own and the loyal dragon that is forever his.
Read
November 23, 2015I can't rate this, since I write with M. Caspian.
But I can say this: M. has this ability to take a prompt and run with it, and end up somewhere completely different than I ever expected her to go. And I love that so, so much.
Warning: this is not a fluffy romance.
This is a story where the world burns and, after following Cian's journey, there's a part of you that knows it deserves to.
Not for the faint of heart. This is a story that will punch you in the face and then kick you when you're down. Days after reading it, I'm still bruised.
Loved it.
But I can say this: M. has this ability to take a prompt and run with it, and end up somewhere completely different than I ever expected her to go. And I love that so, so much.
Warning: this is not a fluffy romance.
This is a story where the world burns and, after following Cian's journey, there's a part of you that knows it deserves to.
Not for the faint of heart. This is a story that will punch you in the face and then kick you when you're down. Days after reading it, I'm still bruised.
Loved it.
Read
November 20, 2015First half- 1 star
Second half- 3 stars
No overall rating.
I'm sorry, this is going to be a highly pissed off sounding post.
I have never needed brain bleach as much as when I read the first half of this story.
Heed the content warnings, people. (It should have come with a content warning that it might incite people to set things on fire. Things like their own selves.
The first half, nay first 3/4th of the story seems disconnected with the rest. The writer is trying to explain why Cian is so angry and what pushes him to discover his power, but by the time I was done with it I was so wrung out. The multiple scenes of physical and sexual violence made me sick to my stomach. I kept at it to see what the point was, to see what the hell was going on, and I sort of feel like I wasted my time. I know M. Caspian doesn't shy away from the gritty, but this was a whole new level of no.
The second half is better, in that we actually see some stuff happenning that isn't just showing us how depraved we can be as human beings. We actually see some type of plot, but then again, it doesn't make any difference at this point. A pity, because I love things that have to do with microbiology and biology in general. I feel no sympathy for any of the chacters at all. And the plot leaves me mith more questions than ever, because a lot of things are never resolved. What the hell even happened to the elves anyway?
All fiction asks us to suspend disbelief, but since this is modern urban fantasy, I expect that some reaslim will be there. But this... this isn't asking me to suspend my disbelief, it is asking me to burn it down with dragon fire and then blow the ashes away so that it can never be found again. By the end, I was just tired of everything and had to resort to poking fun at everything to stay sane.
One shiny in the sea of sludge: I learned the name of two microbes, and I read some interesting thing about them because of this story.
There is literally nothing else in this book or me. I'm tired and angry and-- and-- *exhales*
Second half- 3 stars
No overall rating.
I'm sorry, this is going to be a highly pissed off sounding post.
I have never needed brain bleach as much as when I read the first half of this story.
Heed the content warnings, people. (It should have come with a content warning that it might incite people to set things on fire. Things like their own selves.
The first half, nay first 3/4th of the story seems disconnected with the rest. The writer is trying to explain why Cian is so angry and what pushes him to discover his power, but by the time I was done with it I was so wrung out. The multiple scenes of physical and sexual violence made me sick to my stomach. I kept at it to see what the point was, to see what the hell was going on, and I sort of feel like I wasted my time. I know M. Caspian doesn't shy away from the gritty, but this was a whole new level of no.
The second half is better, in that we actually see some stuff happenning that isn't just showing us how depraved we can be as human beings. We actually see some type of plot, but then again, it doesn't make any difference at this point. A pity, because I love things that have to do with microbiology and biology in general. I feel no sympathy for any of the chacters at all. And the plot leaves me mith more questions than ever, because a lot of things are never resolved. What the hell even happened to the elves anyway?
All fiction asks us to suspend disbelief, but since this is modern urban fantasy, I expect that some reaslim will be there. But this... this isn't asking me to suspend my disbelief, it is asking me to burn it down with dragon fire and then blow the ashes away so that it can never be found again. By the end, I was just tired of everything and had to resort to poking fun at everything to stay sane.
One shiny in the sea of sludge: I learned the name of two microbes, and I read some interesting thing about them because of this story.
There is literally nothing else in this book or me. I'm tired and angry and-- and-- *exhales*
March 1, 2017
What an incredible story. I'm always so impressed by the quality of this author's writing, the story is so carefully structured and flows just perfectly. Beautifully descriptive prose throughout that just pulls me along, and *blink* it's over.
I love the creativity of the story - it was gorgeously dark in all the best ways. Really top notch.
I love the creativity of the story - it was gorgeously dark in all the best ways. Really top notch.
November 21, 2015
This was really interesting. Poor Cian gets used, abused, and put through the wringer. With one parent on his deathbed, one parent unavailable, he is left alone to survive in any way he can. Like a Phoenix rising from a pyre of his own making, he is reborn to burn.
November 29, 2015
I read for fun. For an escape. First half of this book gave me a glimpse of real life that I don't want to see. I admit I step back for a while before I dive back in. All I can say is this is not fluffy. Absolutely not. Look elsewhere if you're looking for something romantic. This is dark and gritty. Well it's M. Caspian's after all. I bet you guys know her style. I haven't even read her 'Kraken'. I will though.
What I liked :
- The background story about microbiology. Really interesting stuff.
What I disliked :
- Not much romance between Reece and Cian (just about 20%). Okay, they're mates. But they're just thrown together because of the bonding. :(
- I don't know why Cian keep coming back to Vaughan. I keep screaming 'Good god!'. Obviously he was hurting him. I think this is the thing when you're in abusive relationship. You don't even know that you're being abused.
- I need something horrible and terrible happen to Vaughan, Steven and Julian. If I had to go through all of that, I need an emotional payout.
Thank you so much to the author and the team behind this story. <3
Trigger warning : Child neglect, assumption to child sexual abuse, assumption to child prostitution, violence, graphic non/con
What I liked :
- The background story about microbiology. Really interesting stuff.
What I disliked :
- Not much romance between Reece and Cian (just about 20%). Okay, they're mates. But they're just thrown together because of the bonding. :(
- I don't know why Cian keep coming back to Vaughan. I keep screaming 'Good god!'. Obviously he was hurting him. I think this is the thing when you're in abusive relationship. You don't even know that you're being abused.
- I need something horrible and terrible happen to Vaughan, Steven and Julian. If I had to go through all of that, I need an emotional payout.
Thank you so much to the author and the team behind this story. <3
Trigger warning : Child neglect, assumption to child sexual abuse, assumption to child prostitution, violence, graphic non/con
November 22, 2015
Well, this was interesting to say the least. First, please note the warning because this is dark. There's a lot of rape and violence.
Second, and I can't stop thinking of this, have you watch the movie Contagion? Well, the event that happens towards the end wouldn't have contained the "spread of the thing." Just watch the movie and you will understand why.
I don't know that I would call this even a romance. There is very little of it. Like 5-10% if any at all. This story is not fluffy at all, and the whole "bonding" element is used to create the relationship with the MCs without much exploration of said relationship.
Second, and I can't stop thinking of this, have you watch the movie Contagion? Well, the event that happens towards the end wouldn't have contained the "spread of the thing." Just watch the movie and you will understand why.
I don't know that I would call this even a romance. There is very little of it. Like 5-10% if any at all. This story is not fluffy at all, and the whole "bonding" element is used to create the relationship with the MCs without much exploration of said relationship.
January 1, 2020
Short, graphically violent and disturbing with gang rape, step-incest, non-con sex, non-con drug use, grooming, pseudo-child exploitation.
The writing was confusing at times. I expect dark with an M. Caspian book—this one made me twist and grimace with the shadow world she depicted.
It’s my least favorite of hers so far not because of content but due to the choppy writing and the fact that the MC seemed excessively weak and the secondary characters (Pop, in particular) difficult to imagine.
My rec? If you’re into the grooming and exploitation of an 18 year old who can pass as a 15 year old by older men, go for it. If not, you’d do well to skip this very dark short in which the only good thing is a shape shifting dragon thrall.
The writing was confusing at times. I expect dark with an M. Caspian book—this one made me twist and grimace with the shadow world she depicted.
It’s my least favorite of hers so far not because of content but due to the choppy writing and the fact that the MC seemed excessively weak and the secondary characters (Pop, in particular) difficult to imagine.
My rec? If you’re into the grooming and exploitation of an 18 year old who can pass as a 15 year old by older men, go for it. If not, you’d do well to skip this very dark short in which the only good thing is a shape shifting dragon thrall.
January 4, 2016
As with The Arroyo and Kraken you are in for a story that touches the edges of horror with the captivating promise of something almost sweet, or rather, not quite so bitter.
The innocence is lost for Cian as he takes on the role of caretaker to his dying father, while he is pointedly ignored by his Pop, who walked out 5 years prior. Trying to make ends meet, while he wills his father to continue living, not to leave him alone, he asks his older boyfriend to get him a job as a rentboy. All the while his friend Reece is a steady, predictable source of strength as Cian struggles to hold it all together.
The desperation in this story is haunting, and in what is becoming a marker to M. Caspian's writing style, there is an edge of horror that is poetic in it's delivery, but still holds you underwater with the fear of drowning.
I don't think I will ever get enough of the nightmares that come from the stories M. Caspian delivers. There is something so compelling about this story, no matter how much it hurts to read. There is also a promise, that something more is on the way, and it is that promise that keeps the misery from truly drowning me in it's depths.
Recommended to those who are into the darker reads. There is nothing fluffy about this story, but it is rewarding, so if you can hold on for the twisted ride, there will be a sardonic smile in the end.
Triggers - read the tags and warnings on the story download page before proceeding.
The innocence is lost for Cian as he takes on the role of caretaker to his dying father, while he is pointedly ignored by his Pop, who walked out 5 years prior. Trying to make ends meet, while he wills his father to continue living, not to leave him alone, he asks his older boyfriend to get him a job as a rentboy. All the while his friend Reece is a steady, predictable source of strength as Cian struggles to hold it all together.
The desperation in this story is haunting, and in what is becoming a marker to M. Caspian's writing style, there is an edge of horror that is poetic in it's delivery, but still holds you underwater with the fear of drowning.
Time slowed as the flame flickered, caught, then danced up the page, leaping and billowing in joy.........
....He wanted to rub the flames into his skin, let them lick inside him......
I don't think I will ever get enough of the nightmares that come from the stories M. Caspian delivers. There is something so compelling about this story, no matter how much it hurts to read. There is also a promise, that something more is on the way, and it is that promise that keeps the misery from truly drowning me in it's depths.
Recommended to those who are into the darker reads. There is nothing fluffy about this story, but it is rewarding, so if you can hold on for the twisted ride, there will be a sardonic smile in the end.
Triggers - read the tags and warnings on the story download page before proceeding.
Read
November 22, 2015This story is all over the place. Cian is not only messed up, but easily manipulated by the people around him, easily used and abused and he doesn't learn anything from the experience. While I feel bad for him, his actions at the end come across as a teenager acting out without thought and there are no consequences for him either.
There are a number of elements drawn from a wide variety of sources: the microbes developed to eat oil spills which are unstoppable, except by fire (a theme I think was better used in the book Ill Wind by Kevin J. Anderson & Doug Beason), fairies who want to destroy the modern world with the microbes (I don't get how destroying the fossil fuels and plastics stop the usage of iron though), even the bit about Cian's mother bringing him forward in time for the plan (kind of echoing Bran Davies' life path from The Dark is Rising sequence). Yet, all of these elements seem to be hanging together by a fine filament, barely a thread of plot. The basic idea is good, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.
The worst part of this story is the horrific abuse Cian's put through by almost all the adult men in his life, with the exception of his dad who's dying from cancer. There are a few decent people in the story, including his friend Reece, but they're thin on the ground and almost every adult male Cian encounters seems to see him only as a possible asset in their schemes to make money by turning him into a whore. This is such a bad message about men that I don't know where to start.
All in all, this story felt rushed, with little plot, and no sense that Cian and Reece, who turns out to be a dragon shifter, have a genuine future.
There are a number of elements drawn from a wide variety of sources: the microbes developed to eat oil spills which are unstoppable, except by fire (a theme I think was better used in the book Ill Wind by Kevin J. Anderson & Doug Beason), fairies who want to destroy the modern world with the microbes (I don't get how destroying the fossil fuels and plastics stop the usage of iron though), even the bit about Cian's mother bringing him forward in time for the plan (kind of echoing Bran Davies' life path from The Dark is Rising sequence). Yet, all of these elements seem to be hanging together by a fine filament, barely a thread of plot. The basic idea is good, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired.
The worst part of this story is the horrific abuse Cian's put through by almost all the adult men in his life, with the exception of his dad who's dying from cancer. There are a few decent people in the story, including his friend Reece, but they're thin on the ground and almost every adult male Cian encounters seems to see him only as a possible asset in their schemes to make money by turning him into a whore. This is such a bad message about men that I don't know where to start.
All in all, this story felt rushed, with little plot, and no sense that Cian and Reece, who turns out to be a dragon shifter, have a genuine future.
June 17, 2017
This was a short quick dark read that had some dark scenes in it. Cian could not get a break everything thing in his life is falling apart. When his boyfriend convinces him to sell himself it gets worse. I really liked his friend Reese. After a painful night he realizes Reece was more than a friend to him. This was my first time reading this author. This book was well written with no errors in grammar or spelling. I am looking forward to reading more from this author.
June 3, 2017
4.5 Stars
Holy moly! This is one hell of a story, and it packs one painful wallop...
Heed the warnings because those scenes were rough; unfortunately, I felt like they were completely necessary to Cian's character development, to provide a well of anger and hate to draw fire from when he needed it.
Also, everything that happened to Julian, Stephen and Vaughan? Well-deserved. That the rest of Portland (I think it's Portland) had to suffer Stephen's hubris and Julian's greed? Eh, like Cian said, "We lose the city. But we save the world." The story is perfect just the way it is, but man, what I wouldn't give to know how Cian deals with the aftermath...because he seems like the kind of man that would agonize a bit afterwards, constantly re-living and remembering what he would see as his own personal weakness, his emotional need to keep his dad alive, that eventually led to the destruction.
(Major props, too, as the GMO bacteria in this story brought to mind the world-destroying substances of Ice-Nine in Cat's Cradle and grey-goo mentioned in Engines of Creation: The Coming Era of Nanotechnology. Scary shit that seems an entirely more likely scenario for the end of the world than an alien invasion or rogue asteroid strike.)
Okay, so I also wanted to maybe mention something that really hasn't coalesced much in my brain but still made me think after it was so casually mentioned:
Finally, there's some small part of me that kind of thought the future Reece helped Cian to see, with nature claiming everything, taking it all back like something out of The Future is Wild - well, it was kind of nice. Maybe it's a reset button that needs to be pushed?
Holy moly! This is one hell of a story, and it packs one painful wallop...
Heed the warnings because those scenes were rough; unfortunately, I felt like they were completely necessary to Cian's character development, to provide a well of anger and hate to draw fire from when he needed it.
Also, everything that happened to Julian, Stephen and Vaughan? Well-deserved. That the rest of Portland (I think it's Portland) had to suffer Stephen's hubris and Julian's greed? Eh, like Cian said, "We lose the city. But we save the world." The story is perfect just the way it is, but man, what I wouldn't give to know how Cian deals with the aftermath...because he seems like the kind of man that would agonize a bit afterwards, constantly re-living and remembering what he would see as his own personal weakness, his emotional need to keep his dad alive, that eventually led to the destruction.
(Major props, too, as the GMO bacteria in this story brought to mind the world-destroying substances of Ice-Nine in Cat's Cradle and grey-goo mentioned in Engines of Creation: The Coming Era of Nanotechnology. Scary shit that seems an entirely more likely scenario for the end of the world than an alien invasion or rogue asteroid strike.)
Okay, so I also wanted to maybe mention something that really hasn't coalesced much in my brain but still made me think after it was so casually mentioned:
Finally, there's some small part of me that kind of thought the future Reece helped Cian to see, with nature claiming everything, taking it all back like something out of The Future is Wild - well, it was kind of nice. Maybe it's a reset button that needs to be pushed?
January 4, 2016
3.5 stars
Much of this story was quite dark and difficult to stomach at times. Everything is Cian's life is falling a part and everything he tries just seems to make is worse. His boyfriend is just horrible and he encourages him to become a whore...
The only constant in his life is his friend Reese. I just wished that we could have gotten more details about the whole "fae" component and the story ended just as stuff started getting good...*sigh*
Much of this story was quite dark and difficult to stomach at times. Everything is Cian's life is falling a part and everything he tries just seems to make is worse. His boyfriend is just horrible and he encourages him to become a whore...
The only constant in his life is his friend Reese. I just wished that we could have gotten more details about the whole "fae" component and the story ended just as stuff started getting good...*sigh*
Read
November 20, 2015First and foremost - HEED the WARNINGS!
Second - Vaughn, Julian and Stephen got off too easily. There should have been more suffering for them.
Second - Vaughn, Julian and Stephen got off too easily. There should have been more suffering for them.
March 16, 2016
My heart broke for Cian. The poor kid struggled for every crumb that he could get. I don't think that the gang rapes were necessary to the story except that Vaughan awoke Cian's fire. Steve deserved exactly what he got. There were some nice surprises in the story but a terrible amount of violent destruction.
July 22, 2016
Going through my To-Read section today and realized that there are so many books that I have read, but forgot to rate. Bad Bree!
I totally enjoyed this super dark story. Head the warnings!
I totally enjoyed this super dark story. Head the warnings!
Read
November 25, 2015I felt dirty while reading this. It was bleak and parts were frankly uncomfortable and disgusting. I started skimming to find the good parts, but didn't come across any.
November 1, 2018
This is an M/MR writing event story. I almost always rate them 4 or 5 stars because I truly appreciate the gift of their talent and time to the free story they give to the group and its members.
That said, I’m not strong enough for this story. I’m shocked I made it through but for the application of great skimming. It is well written, and I liked the last 20 - 25% of the story. The first 75% or so was miserable and painful to read because of all that Cian was put through. This book is not easy to read at all and should, if it doesn’t, come with strong trigger warnings for dub-con, non-con, and rape.
Just not my thing.
That said, I’m not strong enough for this story. I’m shocked I made it through but for the application of great skimming. It is well written, and I liked the last 20 - 25% of the story. The first 75% or so was miserable and painful to read because of all that Cian was put through. This book is not easy to read at all and should, if it doesn’t, come with strong trigger warnings for dub-con, non-con, and rape.
Just not my thing.
April 16, 2018
I had a hard time reading this to get to the point of dragon appearing. I skipped many pages during the descriptions of forced drug use and gang rape.
Reece was the best part of the book!
Cian made SO MANY bad choices. When he has agency, he gives it away to someone who abuses him. Repeatedly. You've heard the saying "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."? I wondered why Cian kept making the same bad choice and expecting love.
Maybe Cian is a typical teenager, making continually worse choices and thinking that he knows everything. I finished the book, but it was difficult.
Reece was the best part of the book!
Cian made SO MANY bad choices. When he has agency, he gives it away to someone who abuses him. Repeatedly. You've heard the saying "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."? I wondered why Cian kept making the same bad choice and expecting love.
Maybe Cian is a typical teenager, making continually worse choices and thinking that he knows everything. I finished the book, but it was difficult.
November 26, 2015
Very hot non-con scenes, a sweet romance and a whole lot of violence. But this is not for the faint-of-heart.
Even if I understood his motives, Cian is not a nice boy. There are not many good guys overall. So if you have a problem with morally dubious situations and characters, this might not be for you.
I thought the immorality paired with the violence and some very poetic, quiet scenes made this story very memorable. So, I definitely recommend it. If you are looking for something fresh,you are in the right place!
November 22, 2015
Disturbing, felt gratuitous with no good reason. I finished but it was a close thing, I only wanted to see Stephen and Julian get some justice but that even ended up being very unsatisfying.
November 26, 2015
Could have done without the rape scenes, and Cian acting like milquetoast. Story had some good bones. Didn't care for the execution.
September 30, 2017
DRiTC novella length AU story (triggers for rape/non con).
January 2, 2016
This story is chock-full of nastiness, and the warnings don't really prepare you for it. The non-consensual graphic abuse of various kinds starts almost from page one and barely ceases until 75% mark or so.
But my rating is not because I can't handle books like that.
It's actually really well-written. If you can stomach all the depravity, it's impossible to stay indifferent to this - you might be full of sympathy, you might rage, you might hate with a passion or feel some strange kind of glee, but you won't be bored or unemotional.
It's all the "listen to me", "we need to talk", "you don't understand" that go nowhere and explain nothing. It's all the gratuitousness. It's how Cian lets himself be abused, goes blind as to why he is being treated like that, sabotages all attempts of help and can't get the support he needs and kind of entitled to because of... yes, why exactly?
Emotional manipulation from the author. That's what it is. Here for the shock value, and no solid foundations necessary.
And then, of course, there's the ending - . Are you kidding me?
But my rating is not because I can't handle books like that.
It's actually really well-written. If you can stomach all the depravity, it's impossible to stay indifferent to this - you might be full of sympathy, you might rage, you might hate with a passion or feel some strange kind of glee, but you won't be bored or unemotional.
It's all the "listen to me", "we need to talk", "you don't understand" that go nowhere and explain nothing. It's all the gratuitousness. It's how Cian lets himself be abused, goes blind as to why he is being treated like that, sabotages all attempts of help and can't get the support he needs and kind of entitled to because of... yes, why exactly?
Emotional manipulation from the author. That's what it is. Here for the shock value, and no solid foundations necessary.
And then, of course, there's the ending - . Are you kidding me?
December 3, 2015
It was ok, but i have some issues with this story. The first half was realy interesting and i could't stop reading, but as i keep reading i start to losing interest and near to the end i forced myself to finished it. What it bother me about it was that sometimes it seams to me as if it were two diferent and very disconnected stories and maybe both (one with Vaughn and Cian's father and othere one with Reece), good enough to be told separetedly. I do understand that is all part of the same story but itt feel that way to me.
Want to read
January 9, 2016
Offered for FREE from the M/M Romance Group's Love Is An Open Road event. Thank you too all the amazing authors who participated!
November 20, 2015
This was soooo boring and stupid. Waste of my time.
May 13, 2021
2.5 stars
Cian's father is dying, he's not going to graduate his final year of high school, his boyfriend is...well, the less said about him the better, and his other dad is more involved with his new boyfriend and life than in anything else. Cian is trying to hold it all together, helping his dad, taking some comfort from his boyfriend, and some real comfort in his friend Reese. When his boyfriend helps him make money by selling Cian's body, and then convinces Cian to do it again in order to keep making rent, Cian goes from a bad situation to worse.
I've read one other book by this author, and well they seem to be well written, I'm just not sure if they are my cup o' tea. I think that my main issue with this one is that the focus seems to be on the one character, and what he experiences (and it ain't good...at ALL), and then the romance blooms in the last couple of chapters. I *think* I would be okay, or not be completely "why does this character have to suffer so much and in such a horrific way?" about it if the romance was more of a presence in the story, and not more like an afterthought. The characters know each other, and have very little contact throughout the story (even if we are told that they are friends), so it's hard to buy the love, even if they are fated. I do understand why Cian had to go through what he had to go through, and it makes sense in the context of the story and the aftermath, but it was really hard to read on page and in real time as it were.
Cian's father is dying, he's not going to graduate his final year of high school, his boyfriend is...well, the less said about him the better, and his other dad is more involved with his new boyfriend and life than in anything else. Cian is trying to hold it all together, helping his dad, taking some comfort from his boyfriend, and some real comfort in his friend Reese. When his boyfriend helps him make money by selling Cian's body, and then convinces Cian to do it again in order to keep making rent, Cian goes from a bad situation to worse.
I've read one other book by this author, and well they seem to be well written, I'm just not sure if they are my cup o' tea. I think that my main issue with this one is that the focus seems to be on the one character, and what he experiences (and it ain't good...at ALL), and then the romance blooms in the last couple of chapters. I *think* I would be okay, or not be completely "why does this character have to suffer so much and in such a horrific way?" about it if the romance was more of a presence in the story, and not more like an afterthought. The characters know each other, and have very little contact throughout the story (even if we are told that they are friends), so it's hard to buy the love, even if they are fated. I do understand why Cian had to go through what he had to go through, and it makes sense in the context of the story and the aftermath, but it was really hard to read on page and in real time as it were.
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