invisible-i-am by Gregg Davis

by Harriet Showman

Harriet Showman's invisible-i-am by Gregg Davis is a powerful story that offers a wrenching, empathetic look at the experience of high school bullying and sexual assault through a victim's eyes. Through the perspective of a wiser-than-her-years 16-year-old narrator, invisible-i-am tackles issues of violence and oppression, the clash between identity and invisibility, and the necessity of self-determination.

Vigorously independent in many respects, invisible-i-am challenges traditional notions of storytelling in the YA book industry with its dark, idiosyncratic humor, unflinching portrayal of abuse, and plot twists that peel back layers of family and community intrigue to address the impact of oppression in its many forms -- personal, historical, and systemic. Experimental and literary in nature, the book also features Ms. Showman’s art, created from the perspective of protagonist Gregg Davis and a striking cover designed like a scrawled-over Composition notebook. The story is also unique in that it extends beyond the novella into social media and the screen, giving the story a multimedia and interactive dimension. A sequel to invisible-i-am is forthcoming.

invisible-i-am has been accepted into the collection of the South Carolina Center for Children’s Books and Literacy as well as Library Journal's SELF-e indie book online platform, available through participating libraries across the U.S. It has recently been awarded an indieBRAG Gold Medallion, with a 5/5 rating for characters, dialogue, writing style, copy editing, chapters, and formatting.

Read Chapter One for free at invisible-i-am.com.

For updates on Gregg and the invisible-i-am story, follow her on Twitter @iaminvisibleiam, Tumblr via http://iaminvisibleiam.tumblr.com, YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ3_..., and Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/invisibleiambook.

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Genres: Young Adult

102 pages, Paperback

Published August 18, 2015

About the author

Harriet Showman lives in South Carolina, U.S., a culture hurt deep by the wounds of slavery and racism. Showman began her quest to understand the legacy bequeathed to her by slave-owning ancestors through her undergraduate and graduate study of colonial South Carolina history. It was then that the endemic poverty of her home state captured her attention. With a strong core of allies, she helped to establish a statewide Guardian ad Litem program to provide legal support for abused children; a Cities in Schools organization to serve underprivileged students; and a vehicle for the accumulation of monies to be distributed in grants through the Children’s Trust Fund. As a development officer for the state’s flagship university, Showman attracted resources from major, national foundations to target South Carolina’s most urgent needs.

By creating the narrative of sixteen-year-old Gregg Davis, along with provocative artwork, Showman finds the courage to once again become an advocate for children who experience personal and societal bullying. Through invisible-i-am, she hopes to contribute to the conversation about tough stuff. She does not restrain Gregg: the girl says what she means and means what she says. Showman also expresses a victim’s rage by using vivid nail polish in drawings and enhancing photographs for maximum impact. The ultimate message is that when pain overwhelms us, we can transform ourselves and choose freedom over revenge. This is not easy work to undergo, but it addresses a vital issue for the 21st century.

Showman’s hope for the future is simple: that we all can learn to perceive and empathize with another’s struggle to be acknowledged as worthy of love. This survival-of-the-fittest world needs a responsible citizenship that comprehends the importance of altruism.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/iaminvisibleiam
Tumblr: http://iaminvisibleiam.tumblr.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/invisibleiambook
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ3_...

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Reviews

[zainab · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read my Review at A Bibliophile's Obsession
I received this E-ARC via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I'm really disappointed.

This book consists of 50 pages and I liked the story till 30 pages but after that the story went downhill and it was really hard for me to even continue. I was sooo close to abandoning this book but I didn't because only 17 pages were left. The only reason why I read it was because it was 50 pages long and short but nope, wasted my time.

So the story is about this girl Gregg whose boyfriend for many years cheats on her and then the girl he cheated on Gregg with makes Gregg's life miserable along with her brother. Then bullying happens along with the things-I-sill-don't-understand happens. Like some kind of a "mystery thing" was happening in this book and then the book ends abruptly with no answers at all. And it's not even a part of a series. Was it a joke?

It had the potential and it could be better if it only included the story of Gregg recovering but to incorporate it with another mystery which is not even explained well (?!)

Another thing that annoyed me the most was Gregg's vocabulary. Seriously. Her vocabulary was too good to be true for a sixteen years old. And it was so freaking hard for me to read it without having a dictionary opened by my side.

I love the original Gregg's story and I would have loved the book if it only included that story without adding "slavery" and "Code" etc into it.

So, do I recommend it? Nope.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Note: I received a free copy of this book in return for an honest review

To say I am disappointed is a very big understatement. I DNFed this book at 46%. I feel like the premise held such promise to be a powerful book with a very powerful message but it just wasn't! Instead, I was facing cringe worthy, teeth grinding grammatical errors and characters that just had no depth to them whatsoever!

If this was an ARC copy, I would let grammatical errors slide, because obviously, it isn't the finished version. This book, however, has already been published - so why am I sat there trying to figure out words that have been half written, with capital letters missing and who knows what else!! I could feel myself cringe every single time I tried to figure out words that should be there, but weren't or words that were missing letters. This is not a very good way to draw your readers in!

In addition to this, I feel that the characters had no depth. We didn't know these people at all, so you cannot relate to what the main character is going through at school. In a way, I feel like this undermines the people who are really facing these problems on a daily basis. To add to this, the MC doesn't seem to be facing psychological problems - it is almost like she is just saying "it doesn't matter" when it does. The author has simplified sexual assault and serious bullying and doesn't seem to realise that she has done it. I do not feel that this is an accurate representation of what really goes on in today's society or what really goes on in a teens head.

The pacing of this book was also pretty bad. I think it was moving way too fast, which is why the reader - or at least me - is unable to form some kind of connection with the characters shown. I think the lack of depth and detail into these events is caused by the fast pacing - almost like the author couldn't be bothered to actually write the book properly. I think, if the author has used a written emotional form of contact rather than attempted to use an artistic approach, this may have helped. Whilst the artistic approach is unique, it was detrimental to the book itself.

I was seriously disappointed with this book and I feel like this could have been an excellent book if it had just been executed right!! I gave this book 1/5 stars.

[Paula Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I wasn't sure what this book was going to be like as the outside of it reminded me of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid style books and I thought it might have been a funny read , but as I opened it - I was faced with a more serious topic of a sixteen year old girl named Gregg Davis - her bullying experience as she was ganged up on and thrown to the wolves of high school. This book though it was an emotional read, I found that it was the perfect read for anyone who has ever been bullied in their lives as being someone who was bullied, there are times when you feel like giving up and letting the bully win and sometimes you think that suicide is the answer and the only way out. Other times, we will put on a strong facade but the truth is that inside we are crumbling and as each day passes we are losing a bit of ourselves and unfortunately bullies never let up until we are completely broken and there is nothing left of us. The other thing I loved about this book was the fact that her parents were strong and stood by Gregg and that they did everything in their power to beat the bullies as to say "no-one picks on their daughter and gets away with it" as Gregg will discover that her family on her mother's side is very wealthy and with that power can pull alot of strings. This book also touches base on what was known as "The Code" and goes into a little bit of Gregg's family history. I was hoping we would see a bit more of that, but maybe Harriet will write a sequel . The other thing I shall end this review on, was that years ago I read a book of poetry called Dear Jane, which was the poetry of a sixteen-eighteen year old who felt that suicide was possibly the only way out and Invisible-I-Am reminded me heavily of that book.

[Lynda Dickson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gregg Davis is a sixteen-year-old girl who tells her story in a sarcastic, rambling fashion (full of parenthetical asides) in a journal, complete with illustrations depicting her changing moods. After Jack, her boyfriend and best friend, cheats on her with Hayley, Gregg becomes the victim of bullying at the hands of Hayley and her twin brother TJ. In the aftermath, Gregg struggles to cope with what happened to her. She changes her look, becomes socially isolated, and eventually becomes invisible.

The extent of Gregg's bullying is brutal, sickening, heartbreaking, and one of the hardest things I've ever had to read. However, I couldn't reconcile Gregg's apparent strength with her inability to stand up for herself. It was also disappointing to see most of her problems solved with relative ease by her wealthy family. Unfortunately, this book is trying to be and do too many things at once, and it doesn't quite succeed. What begins as a touching love story quickly devolves into a soap box diatribe against bullying and slavery. The abrupt ending indicates that there will probably be a follow-up book. Despite its flaws, this is an empowering book for young women, best read it in conjunction with Gregg's art journal on the invisible-i-am website (http://www.invisible-i-am.com).

Warnings: graphic bullying, coarse language, sexual references.

I received this book in return for an honest review.

Full blog post (21 July): https://booksdirectonline.blogspot.co...

[Whispering Chapters · Rating 1 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on Latte Nights Reviews.

This novel is very childish! Even though the MC is in high school, her way of thinking is incredibly childish and there's no way to connect with her. I kept trying to keep an open mind, but I couldn't. Everything about her was grating on my nerves and I was dreading the rest of the novel.

I came so close to DNF'ing. I didn't because when I looked at where I had stopped reading, it was already 90%. The book is so short and doesn't leave space for any character growth.

Then there's a "plot twist" that left me so confused. It came out of nowhere! It's as if it was thrown into the story just to make it "interesting", which it wasn't.

I cannot find anything to like about this novel.

I received an eBook from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.This review was originally posted on Latte Nights Reviews.

[Leigh Collazo]

A unique concept, but I just did not get it. Character motivation is completely confusing. Why would Jack, the boyfriend and best friend of more than a decade, suddenly do an about-face and date some other girl? Why were all the other kids in school bullying Gregg over the breakup? And it seemed like Gregg's pain and healing was just completely skipped over when she discussed the other kids' getting their justice through her mother's legal connections. And The Code? What are they, mafia?

This was just too weird for me. I've read a few other early reviews, and a couple of people really praise the art of it. I'm glad someone got it, but I sure didn't.

[Cristina (My Tiny Obsessions) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read full review HERE



This was definitly an interesting and different read. This story is told in diary form, with the main character, Gregg, telling her story. The writing is witty and funny, even throughout all the heartbreaking stuff, but it’s also true that the language is not that of a 16 y.o.. Actually, because I had read the blurb so long ago, while I was reading, I thought that Gregg was actually older, maybe more 18 than 16.

The story starts out in a very interest way, showing Gregg being a victim of bullying and abuse, and her reaction to it and deciding that she’s better than that. Then the book does an 180, and the second part is about Gregg coming into herself and realizing that she’s more than just a boy’s girlfriend or a relationship or an event. Cool, right? Yeah… no… see, there’s “The Code” and then there’s the mentions of slavery and racism, and all of those things could work and be super interesting, if they connected at all or if their importance was made clear, but it wasn’t. I definitly felt that there was a break in the storytelling, and while the first part went by in a flash – the bullying and consequences part – the rest of the book dragged on and was way too fast at the same time. I honestly can’t make sense of some things, and I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now.

One thing that was extremely disappointing was how the reason behind the bullying was explained. Because it didn’t need to be explained, right? People are jerks sometimes. But Gregg has a chance to confront her ex-boyfriend – you know, her next door neighbor and best friend since forever – about why he did it, why he not only cheated on her, but was a willing participant in the terrors she suffered. The answer was a non-answer. It made no sense.

I felt that Gregg had a lot of potential as a character, but not even she is fully fleshed out during this short book.

To sum it up, this has a very interesting concept and the use of art throughout the book is super imaginative. I do wish the art had a little more to do with the text itself though. But while all the themes touched here are SUPER important, neither is dealt with in the best way, with most of them being mentioned but not developed, and that was a real shame. The disconnection between the first and second part of the story didn’t help me in liking this book either.

I thought that it was a great attempt, that unfortunately didn’t work.

[Jennifer Fraser · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a high school English teacher, I can’t think of a more compelling book for teen readers than invisible-i-am because it unpacks in real time the significance of bullying. I am presently working on an interdisciplinary unit with an art teacher and a philosophy teacher so that we can do an intensive study of this powerful new novella with our students.

Invisible-i-am is written in what appears to be a teen’s “Composition Book” and when you flip through the pages, it’s full of doodles, sketches, and ultimately artwork. It has the uncanny feel of a book used by a teenager in a high school to record stories and sketches. However, by the end of the story, Harriet Showman’s use of graffiti styled art, which morphs over the course of the narrative into actual artwork, reveals that its purpose is self-reflexivity of a meaningful kind.

The terrible tale of the bullying of Gregg Davis is also a classic Künstlerroman that tells the story of the artist’s growth to maturity: Gregg is not merely a bullied girl, she is an artist and invisible-i-am is the first part of her journey. Her doodles and drawings recall the child-infused works of Jean-Michel Basquiat and Casey McGlynn, while some of the drawings share a ‘primitive’ power with the work of artists like Jan Wade. The novella ends with Gregg about to launch into a different story, one of her own drawing or making, yet not free by any means of the constraints of history or family.

Showman’s art that evokes the passage of a bullied teen---from being erased by the hate of bullies to the articulate composition of a new self---teaches a lesson to students that goes beyond the walls of the classroom. It’s the most important education a child can receive: they need to learn that they are not scripted by what is said or done to them; they are the creators of their own destiny. They are the narrators of their own story.
Harriet Showman’s invisible-i-am should be taught at all schools. It is an artistic and literary antidote to the poison of bullying.

[Rae Sontheyon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Invisible to Indescribable . . .
Honestly I'm left confused by this book. It starts off with the protagonist enduring horrible high school drama and assault then turns into a feminist empowerment/ reset the civil wrongs/ a secret society mystery cliffhanger. The ending alone confused me and I reread the novel twice to double check I didn't miss something, because I really wanted to live the book just because of the writing alone.

Sixteen year old, Gregg Davis, has lost her first love and innocence in manner of days. Having to learn her longtime friend and boyfriend no longer cared for her is hard but to then be relentlessly bullied is worse. Gregg endures it all until the bully's go too far and assault her, changing her forever. Choosing to face her issues on her own, Gregg forges forward until finally breaking and her parents find out the whole situation. Once everything is out in the open Gregg begins a new stage in life and learns more about herself, her family and her future possibilities.

Overall, okay but confusing read. I loved Gregg as a character and her voice via the drawings too. Seriously Gregg's written voice is probably how I talk most of the time, I basically have a PH.D. in sarcasm. However, the story just took a strange turn that I can't understand especially with how it ended. The story seemed to be meant for young adults but when the problems Gregg faced were wiped away by parents influence with money it didn't really make her relatable. Gregg finding herself is relatable but everything was questionable in her life and in the end she makes a decision based off emotion. I know I'm being vague but only because I'm still confused. The story felt like two different stories from different genres. So if you wanna take a chance on this novel you'll like Gregg's honest voice but may be confused about her life.

**I received a free copy in return for an honest review**

------Read more of my reviews at: http://heyitwasfree.blogspot.com/------

[Megalion · Rating 4 out of 5]

** I received a free Advance Reader Copy from the publisher for which I am thankful. Sometimes these have not yet been finalized. My copy was missing every instance of "fi" and "fl". Every 1 was an "r". Sure made for interesting reading! I write this because it may have subconsciously contributed to the negative reviews I noticed from others.

Moving on.

This is exactly the kind of freestyle diary that I would expect from a 16 year old. She plays freely with train of thought writing. Putting her sarcastic reactions in parentheses. Artwork graffiti.

The experience of betrayal and bullying she experiences is pretty severe. And that's where the main value of this book lies, her struggle to deal with the betrayal, bullying and the aftermath.

It's an excellent book for teenagers especially for discussion.

However, the author exercises some freedom with fictional license with the consequences part.

Then the book takes a sudden left turn into a mysterious family secret.

And I'll say it, it ends on a cliffhanger. Clearly, there is more to come.

I'm reminded of some of the Francesca Lia Block books I've read. And also the Angus, Thongs, and perfect Snogging series by Louise Rennison. And the bizarre ending notwithstanding, I preferred this one.

I notice also that some of the other reviews' criticisms state that the characters weren't fleshed out. My response is that they shouldn't be. This diary is purely the perspective of Gregg and therefore should only be the lenses in which she sees the world. There are no pages that are a narrative outside of her diary.

I give this a 3.75 stars. Subtracting a bit for the ending but will round up to 4 since no partials are allowed.

Strongly recommended especially for teens, and for parents and adults who deal with teenagers.

[Dana Busenbark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please note this is a fairly short book and not written anywhere like what you may typically read. It was really weird, as a teacher for Reading and Writing to read a book that the letter I was not capitalized and left as an i. This book started out nowhere near like what I would have expected it to start out as. It threw me for a loop! I love that there are hand written journal images put into the book. It was really something that took me back to my high school years, thinking about my boyfriends. Realizing what this book is about makes my heart hurt. I see why Gregg feels like she is invisible. I am angry for the child in this book. Angry that these things happen and what they do to the psyche of a child. In this day and age of technology, what these kids did to Gregg should be an arrestable offense. When Gregg's parents find out the full extent of what has been happening to her at school, revenge has never seemed so sweet. When an Aunt comes to visit and offer Gregg the chance to spend the summer at Gracefield, what is her thought about that? What is the meaning behind the thought of her going to Gracefield? Will she ever find herself again? Read and find out! Very interesting book! It really made me think about the way the character feels about herself. Both because of her name, and what she is like as well as what the others around her are like. To have someone that you care for very deeply to do what was done to Gregg, I could feel her pain.

RECEIVED THIS BOOK AS A GIFT FOR A FAIR/HONEST REVIEW and REVIEWER FOR Bloggin' With M.Brennan.

[Lux Winter · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read the full review here :)

I’ll try to keep this review short and on point – not liking a book is an unpleasant experience for everyone involved. Especially like this: I don’t hate the book & I am so very convinced that I would have loved it as a play or slam, but this just doesn’t do the trick for me.

Firstly, the permanent lack of capitalization during „I“ – if that is a stylistic device, I am not artsy enough, it just plain drove me insane and made the book almost unreadable for me. Moreover, there were loads of grammatical errors which are impossible to pass off as „surreal grammar“ aiding the story and spelling mistakes. I’m not sure if current editions have those corrected, but for me, they came close to being a deal breaker. But since I hate leaving a book unfinished, I pulled through. Spoiler: it did not get better.

[Danielle · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Astrophysicists posit we can only go forward in time. To me, time, as a human construct, bends as required by life circumstances. At least that's my experience. Ever notice how it speeds up when there's a math exam at 2:30 and slows down when vacation is two weeks away?"

The language of this book was a bit too mature for young adults, many of the words would be ignored and their meaning lost. Personally, I can't see many teens looking up these words out of fun or curiosity even. I couldn't buy into the voice of Gregg, it seemed like it was written by an adult and translated toward a young adult crowd. Maybe it's the overly complex vocabulary? Not quite sure...but I didn't believe it was the voice of a young adult.
This book is incredibly short, only 47 pages. I think the execution could've been much better. The ending was a little too out there for me.
Thank you to Netgalley for the opportunity to read this advanced reader's copy.

[Kristi Housman Confessions of a YA Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book from netgalley to read for review.

First, I must say that parts of this book were good, but I'm not quite sure what I read in the second half. The first half was about a girl being bullied. The second half was her getting over it, but then turned into some weird stuff about The Code and then slavery in the US. It was just weird to me. The first half gets 4 stars, but the second half was only 2. I do like that Gregg became someone stronger by the end, someone who was figuring out who she is and not who she was.

Also, the spelling stuff made me crazy. All the missing F's in words messed up my flow. oor instead of floor. replace instead of fireplace. There were so many of them that it got on my nerves.

I did like the drawings and the notebook/diary style.

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 1 out of 5]

Grade: D

One Word: Mishmash

I received a free ebook of invisible-i-am in exchange for my honest review.

I loved the premise of invisible-i-am, a fictional multimedia account of a character, a girl named Gregg, told on print, social media and internet to describe bullying and sexual assault. I wish writer Harriet Showman hadn't tried so hard and simply told a better story.

Gregg's voice sounds like it was written by an adult, then sent through google translator for teen speak. Anyone who has ever translated from a foreign language to English knows what I'm talking about. For invisible-i-am to work, I had to buy into Gregg's voice.

My favorite parts of invisible-i-am were the illustrations, which added feeling and depth to the story.


I give Showman credit for this endeavor but invisible-i-am is an idea that fails in its execution.

[Kristina Weber · Rating 1 out of 5]

I finished the book and visited the Tumblr, and I just don't get it. I mean, I think I get the goal, but I don't think it worked. It was a good idea (Patrick Carman has done a lot of this cross-platform, multimedia writing, mostly for male readers), but it wasn't executed well. The characters did not come to life, because the writing style and complete lack of detail didn't allow for it. The story didn't come to life because the author chose to try for artistic representation of emotion, rather than actual emotional imagery. It feels like a first draft of something that has potential- not like a finished product. The social media doesn't answer any of the questions the reader is left with.

[Lyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very fast read; only took about a half an hour to finish.
The first half was very good, though it kind of made me angry because the things Gregg went through are not right. The second half was more mysterious, and it didn't really explain the whole "Code" thing at all, which was disappointing as I was a little confused by that. Actually, I'm a little confused by the entire second half, as I don't see why the story took the drastic turn in focus that it did. Also, I liked the idea behind the pictures included, but I don't understand the relevance of all of those, either.
Note: I read this book for free via NetGalley.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The concept of this book is fascinating! Gregg, has a falling out with her high school boyfriend and amongst this break up she finds herself in a situation where she is bullied post break-up. I was initially drawn to the book because of the cover, however I didn't particularly care for the artwork in the book, it was awkward and really could've done without. The book also include some concepts of slavery, secret parental identities and "the code", it was way too much and took away from "Gregg's" original story. I felt that there were too many loose ends and confusing crossovers. Great concept, not a great execution.

[Mon · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

I received a copy of this book for free through NetGalley

This felt a lot like a slam poetry piece to me rather than your standard story. It has handwritten notes and artwork scattered throughout that really add to the story nicely and I thought it was a good exploration of bullying in high school. I did have some issues with the writing though as it seemed too complicated for your average 16 year olds vocab.

It is also a super quick read.

Full ramble here

[Ina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know what I was reading. It started with an interesting story and I thought the writing style was different and unique at first, but soon after everything was blending into everything. There was no purpose whatsoever. After a point it felt like the plot continued, just because. So much could have been done with the story, yet what actually became of it was a mess. If I be honest I could not complete the thing. I really felt like I didn't have it in me. It was emotionless and failed to discuss the issues it promised in the description.

[Hristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I needed some time to process exactly what I read. As someone who has been bullied, I have to admit, that this book talks about the subject in a original, very honest, genuine way.
However, I have to note that it can be a little triggering to people who have dealt with a similar subject, it was to me too. It's well written, and I believe that people might need some time to process it fully.

[Kelly Sierra · Rating 1 out of 5]

So I bought the ebook, after reading the first chapter online. I thought this was going to be a book about bullying and surviving; however, it ended up being a weird book, where the main character has parents who can get the justice she deserves and negatively afflict the lives of those that tormented her... and then she's invited to be part of the "CODE". W.T.F?

[gj indieBRAG · Rating 5 out of 5]

We are proud to announce that INVISIBLE-I-AM by Gregg Davis is a B.R.A.G. Medallion Honoree. This tells a reader that this book is well worth their time and money!

[Sophie · Rating 2 out of 5]

*Very sad to say this was a DNF for me. I'll have a full review to come