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The Journal

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WARNING! : This book contains elements that may be offensive to certain religious views or sensitive readers. Not intended for readers looking for a happy ending.

“Will you love me for the rest of my life?”
“No…I’ll love you for the rest of mine.”


Best friends falling in love seems like the makings of a happy ending - or not?


Advertising execs, Rodriqua Phillips and Adrian Hawk have been good friends for three years, when their easy relationship turns passionate and things become complicated.


As a young boy, Adrian lost his mother in a tragic car accident, and seeing how his father's soul also died along with the love of his life, Adrian vowed to never let another woman close enough to his own heart. He keeps a journal with all his conquests and one-night stands and shares snippets of the stories with Rodriqua, who affectionately likens him to a Hawk. She finally breaks down some of his defences, but will he let her in, or will he always try to distance himself?


When a moment of madness ends their short-lived romance, Rodriqua moves away and starts a new life of her own. After years of searching, he finds her and learns something that would irrevocably change both of their lives.


How will the emotionally unavailable Hawk handle the news? Did Rodriqua make the right decision to share it with him? Can they learn to live without one another, again?

Romance for ages 18+ due to sex scenes and adult situations.

286 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 17, 2015

12 people are currently reading
110 people want to read

About the author

Jacqueline Francis

11 books129 followers

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5 stars
18 (58%)
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5 (16%)
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5 (16%)
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1 (3%)
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2 (6%)
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
Profile Image for Preeti ♥︎ Her Bookshelves.
1,470 reviews18 followers
dnf_abandoned
November 6, 2016
I loved the premise of a manhoe bff-coworker reforming into a true love. it started out well but then it just goes on and on in an uninteresting repetitive way, the tone corny and more teenfic-ish than chick lit. So I was forced to abandon/dnf quite early. But still curiosity made me do a skim-peek at the ending and what I got there completely threw me off. It may work for others, but is a huge no-no trigger for me, *wish I had a clue before starting this book.* Still glad I got out it before things blew in my face.

I hate putting down a book in a review but that is my honest opinion.

* ETA- As a friend pointed out, the warning ‘not intended for readers looking for a happy ending’ was there on the blurb and which stupid me missed! So I can’t blame anyone else for that at least.
Profile Image for Sandra Lopez.
Author 3 books347 followers
April 12, 2016
“Sometimes in life, a moment happens that changes everything. A first kiss. The birth of a
child. The death of a loved one. A moment that sets in motion a chain of events and changes
your life forever. For Adrian Hawk, one such moment was not too far away. His story begins and ends with a woman named Rodriqua...” (2)

This is the story of Rodriqua and Adrian, two people that started off as junior interns in the advertising business and worked their way to becoming the “deadly duo, a powerhouse, unstoppable when they worked together.”

I could relate to Rodriqua, especially when she felt like a “wild bird trapped in a tiny cage.” Growing up as a pastor’s daughter, she was never good enough and was simply “manufactured purely to complete the picture of the perfect life.” She is resourceful, resilient, and independent. Adrian, on the other hand, was a player, a walking sex god. This is definitely the odd couple—two different people with no similarities. You couldn’t see them as a romantic couple. Hell, you can’t even see them as a dynamic duo in the work force with their bickering banter and challenging views. But, somehow…it works. Like batteries, each has an opposite charge and when fused together, it works.

Even though they work together, they are the best of friends, almost like a brother and sister. But could there be something more after all these years?


Well-written and witty, this is the sweet story of two people stuck in the friend zone. They like each other, they want each other, they fawn all over each other, but they are too afraid to be anything more.

“This isn’t a want. This isn’t a need. This is an ache. I ache with wanting. I ache with need. I
ache until the pain finally leaves me feeling numb. I long for that numbness. It’s the only
time I feel like…I don’t feel.” (36)


“It was becoming more and more clear that their friendship was slowly mutating into some sort of beast; a beast that had trouble breathing and keeping his feet in one place.” (48)

The whole book revolves around the endearing bond and hidden desires of the two. Readers will understand and empathize with the characters—their motives, their feelings, their lusts. You feel for them and hope that things work out. A wonderfully crafted story of longing and passion, one enriched with beauty and colorful language. It’s about the sheer agony of an unfulfilled fantasy. A story of a convoluted, irrepressible, and frenzied love. Reader will feel a vacuum of crazy emotions from start to finish. I admit the latter half of the book was too much with that major bombshell, which seemed to shatter the allure from the beginning. But it will definitely evoke sympathy and sensitivity. It may even have some reaching for the Kleenex.

Lovely, woeful, and poetic, this is a worthy literary novel.
Profile Image for Kaveshni Naidoo.
216 reviews7 followers
January 25, 2016
So I was given a free copy by the author in exchange for an honest review. I didn't expect to loved this book but I did. The author alternatives between the 2 main characters.
Rodriqua and Adrian have been best friends for a long time, until that line becomes hazy. Adrian keeps a journal, and from the small snippets you realize that he always like Rodriqua just never knew it(MEN!!). Rodriqua on the other hand has always fancied him. Adrian feels like he is feeling too much for Ricky(his nickname for Rodriqua) and decides its time to end things, but he cant his heart wont let him. One stupid night, an intentional mistake changes their lives forever. Ricky decides enough is enough, packs up and leaves, Adrian doesn't even try to fight for her. Up until this point I was not impressed with Adrian, and felt that Ricky deserved more.
Now this is where the story grips you, when Adrian realizes that he is in love with Ricky and he needs to fight for her, took him long enough.
Ready for the happy ending yet, so was I. But then life doesn't always come with happy endings does it. I loved reading the snippets of his journal, I wish the author would have included more of his thoughts. If you are looking for a book that will keep you up all night reading and then a few more hours trying to find yourself again, this is your next read.

This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
2 reviews
July 13, 2024
What an absolutely beautiful read! It is extremely rare for me to experience characters and their lives as deeply as I did with this book. It literally takes you on an emotional rollercoaster so intense that you cannot bare to put the book down. The style of writing and choice of words made the story so much more relatable. Even hours after reading it, it stills remains vivid in my mind, in my heart. Definitely not your average romance! It ignites a thought process and allows for evaluation of relationships. I would recommend this book ten times over!!!!
Profile Image for SleepyBookPanda .
72 reviews1 follower
July 7, 2022
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!

Bloody hell this is a damm good book that shattered me to absolute pieces. This is one of those books that will haunt me,randomly, for years and don't even get me started on Def Leppard's Love Bites which is currently on freaking loop in my head. This is the 2nd book I've read by this author It just had to be you grabbed me by the face and shook me but THIS one got me in a chokehold. I think I need to process before I even consider hitting more of this authors work cause I'm wrecked.
2 reviews
February 17, 2016
This book boasts Very well rounded characters that really make you experience every emotion on the scale. The ending is not what I expected at all. This is a romance novel with a difference and definitely worth the read.
Profile Image for Kath Carter.
30 reviews43 followers
September 23, 2016
5 Completely Heartbroken Stars

I'm not entirely sure if I love or hate this book just yet. But one thing I’m most certain of. This book is a BREATH-TAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL piece of literature.

I read a book by this author too, one that I also cried abit for called "Wanting to Remember, Trying to Forget" so when I saw that she had another book I decided to buy it thinking that the last book was so sweet and cute, that naturally this book would be the same.... Boy oh boy was I wrong, the cover should have been a hint, a hint that I clearly didn't get. After I completed The Journal, feeling completely and utterly drained, I looked at the reviews and realised that not a single review that I read on this book prepared me for it. WHY is that? I knew it was going to be sad, but this? This soul shattering, gut wrenching, hole in my chest feeling that I have right now.... NOT what I expected !

Having said that, I do get why. Because how I'm feeling right now, if everyone else had this feeling, then I don't blame them for not letting the cat out of the bag because I don't have the heart to delve into that either.

Ok onto my review, I didn't really connect with Adrian.
Let’s review Adrian.
“Adrian was a man who, in certain respects, could be seen as slightly less than average. He was slightly shorter than the average man. He was slightly thinner than the average man. But his face… There was nothing average about his face. He was gorgeous. Dreamy blue eyes that were so light they were almost translucent and those blue eyes were only further accentuated by his short, dark hair. However, it was not those eyes that got women caught in his talons. No. It was his smile. His smile served as bait to the unsuspecting. It was a Brad Pitt sort of smile—naughty and sexy at the same time. The type of smile that warned you of the heartbreak to come, but left you powerless to protect yourself against its charms.”
description
SO Ultimate Sex God - Check
Drop Dead GORGEOUS - Check
Bad Boy - Oh honey, he wins by a landslide
Confident – Check
Charming and funny – Check
ABSOLUTE Romantic (tear) – Double Check.

But there were two problems:
1. He was weak!. And his Achilles heel was a woman named Rodriqua.
“She was his fundamental paradox. She was his happiness and his sorrow. She was his dream come true and his worse fears personified.”
2. Adrian was also someone who couldn't handle his feelings, and that kinda annoyed me, there were points where I was screaming, just get it out, tell her how you feel!!!
“Adrian was complicated and completely emotionally detached, but there was something about him, a sort of quality that could not be defined. He was sweet without even realising it. That was why his ex-girlfriends were always so outraged when they found out he was a cheater. They never suspected that a Hawk lived beneath that charm.”

And then comes that steamy elevator scene OH MY GOD!!! *blushing*.
"Having sex with her had been a catalyst, new flesh for the virus to feed on" .
I must say I love the way this author describes his love for her as a virus, the analogy was actually perfected throughout the entire book .
But anyway, you'd think he'd come to terms with his feelings after having sex with her right? Nope, still takes him much longer to realise it.
Although when you read his journal entries (which btw I also really enjoyed, wish there were more as I loved getting into his head and thoughts)
But by reading the journal entries you realise that he has always felt that way for her. He just doesn't want to accept it. And I'm like GEEZ LOUSIE Really? ?? She's amazing why are you so afraid to see it.

So because he’s afraid to admit his feelings he messes up, so I thought ok, now he’s going to have to fight for her. but he doesn’t, it just skips to years later. Two years of torture for the poor guy.
“It was amazing how time could change things and yet, in essence, it remained the same”
But at this time he’s realised what he’s lost and he’s not willing to mess up again. And I was in awe, astounded at this mature, romantic, amazing man who's not afraid to speak his feelings.
That was when I thought ok this guy has redeemed himself in my books. He's grown up and handling his feelings. He’s realised his wrongs and he's going to make up for them. and then fate steps in.
And by the end of the book I was proven wrong.

I don't know if it's just me but I felt the scenes with Kaylee and Mike were pointless, I kept saying ok ok get back to Ricky and Adrian. But on that point I understand why they were there, great twist btw I did NOT see that coming.

‎I can't fault much on this book, just like every other review, these characters are most definitely authentic, this book is filled with so much emotion that it's actually very difficult to take it all in. It's not your typical romance, so if you're looking for a god awful soppy romance book, this isn't the book for you. But if you're looking for a heartfelt, cry your eyes out, break your heart into a million pieces, brilliantly written type of book. Then yeah this book is for you. So going back to my opening statement. I have to give this a 5 star rating, cause I'd definitely read it again. Call it torture or call it love of great writing. Either way I'd read it again.

There is only one thing out of the entire book that I'm very disappointed about. I really thought Adrian would find some sort of redemption, I really thought he'd take it in his stride and over come it but he didn't. ‎But I guess it made sense when you look at how much he loves her.

Though... if there was two questions I could ask the author. It would be WHY? Why did you have to end it that way? Why couldn't it all just have been a dream?
Also do you have a playlist for this book too like you had for “Wanting to Remember, Trying to Forget”?
Profile Image for Nakita.
8 reviews6 followers
November 27, 2015
I received a free sample of this book in return for a review. And I can’t thank you enough Jacqueline for giving me a chance to read this. This book has quite literally knocked me off my feet and broken my heart. Wow, this book has left me at a loss for words. Never in my life has a book left me speechless.

When I read books, I rate it, not just on the story line, or how happy or sad, or the characters. But on everything. The author’s style of writing, the words they use, the way they capture emotion, the way the build a character. And I must say this book gets a 10/10 because it has everything in it.

I can’t even begin to explain the emotions going through my heart right now. Don’t worry I won’t spoil anything for other readers. Because this is too beautiful a book to ruin. Though I do think that even if I knew the end, it would have still had the same effect on me. But I will say that I am an avid reader and this is one of the very few books that captured my attention right from the start and tugged at my heart right until the end. This book is brilliant, I could not put it down, and I finished it in a day. Its captures all emotions, you get so attached to Adrian and Ricky (I’ve developed quite a crush on Adrian).

The love that has been developed by these two characters is just amazing. It wasn’t rushed, it was a slow beautiful build up, and so you can understand why they love each it other.

I must say Adrian was something else. He blew me away. At first he was a bit weird and awkward, but as I read on I fell so in love with him and realised that his character was built so perfectly, everything led up to the end. I got so into his character that when certain things happened, I just knew how he was going to react. He has become my favourite male lead in the romantic drama genre.

One thing I hate about romance books is that the girl is always an insecure mess, who falls in love with the hot guy and then no matter what he does, she just sucks it up, because she’s hopeless without him, I hate that. And that’s why I love Ricky’s character in this book she is strong and bold and proud. She’s a no nonsense typa gal and I absolutely loved it. It was very different I must say.

I’ve read books and watched movies of friendships turned into relationships, but I have to say, this is by far my favourite love story, it even trumps The Notebook, which is HUGE for me. The Notebook has been my favourite for the longest time. But now The Journal has just taken that number 1 spot for me...

Yes I laughed, and boy did I cry (and it takes a lot to make me cry, so for a BOOK to make me cry the way I did. Wow…). I’ve never been so overwhelmed and captivated by emotion in a book before. You feel every bit of what the characters are feeling, you get trapped in their bubble and they linger on your mind after you’re done reading. I truly hope that one day it becomes a movie. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone who loves reading.

For me personally what makes this book so good is the fact that IT’S REAL. You can relate, they are your typical day to day people, with normal jobs doing normal day to day things. Even the dialogue between them, its real, they say things that normal people say, they fight the way normal couples fight. And that’s what made me fall in love. It wasn’t your typical soppy bullshit that you read and you’re like who hell speaks like that. With Ricky and Adrian you can really relate. That’s what I enjoyed the most.

Definitely a 5 star rating for me. It was simply beautiful. And I don’t think it could have ended any other way.
1 review
December 15, 2015
I'm not moved by books often and yet, this one resonated with something within me!! Jacqueline's use of adjectives made me feel every emotion that Adrian felt throughout the book leaving me dumbfounded and at a loss for words. One can only read this book in one way... Cover to cover, every chapter leaves you completely speechless always wanting more!! Definitely a book worth reading! Very well done on this awesome novel! A must read for everyone!!!
Profile Image for Jordan Elizabeth.
11 reviews
July 12, 2022
A definite tear-jerker

This was a great read for a debut novel. Jacqueline really puts you in touch with the characters and pulls you into the story. She made references to a lot of things I have a personal familiarity with so it really helped me to connect with the story. The ending was built on delicately placed layers so when the climax occurred, it really hit hard.
You go girl <3
Profile Image for Marin Naude.
5 reviews1 follower
June 22, 2016
A very captivating read. I became so much a part of the story. It completely engulfed me from start to finish. I had laid in bed that entire day with a box of tissues, as the story line is so romantic yet so sad.
A Brilliant very satisfying read. I'm actually glad it ended the way it did. It may seem sadistic, but i can't think of any other way it could have possibly ended
9 reviews
February 20, 2024
Wow! I am left stunned. My first read by this author was Book 1 of the Second Chances Series. I finally got through her backlist, and this was the final book. I was not expecting the turn of events. It definitely took me on an emotional roller-coaster ride. I wish more people had the chance to experience the beauty of this book. It hurt, but I loved it!💕
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews