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Per chi vive
Per un anno, Jay Warren ha cercato di trovare il coraggio per dire a sua moglie che e gay. Ogni volta che ne ha l'occasione, pero, si blocca. Si vergogna di averlo nascosto cosi a lungo e non vuole ferirla: il senso di colpa si e fatto quasi insopportabile. Quando sua moglie muore improvvisamente, la coscienza di Jay minaccia di divorarlo vivo. Scott Lawson, direttore funerario, vede ogni giorno persone in lutto e sa fin troppo bene cosa significhi nascondere il proprio orientamento sessuale. Offre a Jay la compassione e la comprensione di cui ha disperatamente bisogno e da questo nasce un'amicizia che presto... forse troppo presto... diventa qualcosa di piu. Ma il dolore, il senso di colpa e la solitudine sono forse le uniche cose che li uniscono? O Scott si stanchera di essere usato come sostegno emotivo prima che Jay si renda conto di quanto sia prezioso cio che ha?"
286 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2012
52 people are currently reading
647 people want to read
About the author
L.A. Witt
218 books2,722 followersL.A. Witt and her husband have been exiled from Spain and sent to live in Maine because rhymes are fun. She now divides her time between writing, assuring people she is aware that Maine is cold, wondering where to put her next tattoo, and trying to reason with a surly Maine coon. Rumor has it her arch nemesis, Lauren Gallagher, is also somewhere in the wilds of New England, which is why L.A. is also spending a portion of her time training a team of spec ops lobsters.
Authors Ann Gallagher and Lori A. Witt have been asked to assist in lobster training, but they "have books to write" and "need to focus on our careers" and "don't you think this rivalry has gotten a little out of hand?" They're probably just helping Lauren raise her army of squirrels trained to ride moose into battle.
Visit her website at http://www.gallagherwitt.com/.
Authors Ann Gallagher and Lori A. Witt have been asked to assist in lobster training, but they "have books to write" and "need to focus on our careers" and "don't you think this rivalry has gotten a little out of hand?" They're probably just helping Lauren raise her army of squirrels trained to ride moose into battle.
Visit her website at http://www.gallagherwitt.com/.
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April 1, 2016Free again at Amazon US, 3/31/16
February 21, 2024
This was a wonderfully written book. Your heart will go out to Jay and there will be nothing but admiration for Scott. They were both such very well thought out, planned out and portrayed characters. Jay was dealing with some very real situations that shouldn’t and couldn't be taken lightly... and they weren’t. I was glad to see that under the circumstances Jay and Scott didn't take their romance from 0 to 60 in just a matter of minutes. I was afraid that was going to happen, and it would have absolutely ruined the story if it had. They begin with a tentative friendship between two men and then it evolves into love as the story progresses. The relationship in itself takes root quickly after Jay's wife dies, he and Scott only talk about Jays life with his wife and try to understand these feelings they have for each other that are quickly growing. Jay is grieving for his late wife, but still the story has a light heartedness to it and not the dark feeling that you might expect it to have. It's just sort of romantic and bittersweet. Scott and Jay are both believable characters with ordinary jobs and ordinary lives. They aren’t overly rich, and they both have such sweet and loveable personalities. There are eventually some steamy scenes that are amazingly hot and have just the right amount of romance...but no one says "hello" and then jumps into bed in the first 20 pages. L.A. Witt is a fantastic writer, and she created so well the thoughts that we "heard" in Jay's head when he was anxious or nervous. Anyone who has had anxiety or panic attacks will be able to easily relate.... but Jays are not enough to be a trigger. Some of his thoughts we "hear" are especially common when he doesn't want to do something and is trying to think of anything he possibly can to get out of it, no matter how far-fetched his thought may seem. I'm a bit predigest when it comes to L.A. Witt's writing, and in spite of loving everything she puts on paper, I put off reading this one for quite some time, but I found that in spite of the sadness of the topic, this story turned out to be the absolutely perfect blend, of friendship and romance.
May 25, 2020
3.5 Stars
Okay, so this is the 3rd book in the last few days that could have fit that Tear-Jerker w/HEA category challenge and I think it was just one too many for me (when I wasn't enthused about reading that trope in the first place) because I don't usually rate LAW books this low. It's also the 3rd time in 3 years I tried to finish the book (1 reading, 2 audio) and despite the sadness & grief I was determined to push through. And putting that much effort into reading a story made it less enjoyable. Charlie David did a good job with the narration, but that music was...off-putting. Pretty, but I wish it hadn't been the chapter divider because it got old, quick. Definitely contributed to the sombre tone (which was probably the intention).
That MIL was horrible, but I liked that the SIL gave Jay Misty's diary & we get to "hear" Misty's thoughts on Jay possibly being gay - which in some way let him off the hook, emotionally, for deceiving her. And yay! for unusual jobs. I think this is the only book I've ever read with a Funeral Director as MC (Six Feet Under Fanfic doesn't count) even if Scott was a bit too perfect and their connection happened pretty quickly and under less-than-ideal circumstances. (Also, it kind of felt icky at first given Scott was acting as a sort of bereavement counselor to Jay when they met.)
I might try this book again (!) after I haven't been swamped with sad-inducing reads to see if it fares better.
Okay, so this is the 3rd book in the last few days that could have fit that Tear-Jerker w/HEA category challenge and I think it was just one too many for me (when I wasn't enthused about reading that trope in the first place) because I don't usually rate LAW books this low. It's also the 3rd time in 3 years I tried to finish the book (1 reading, 2 audio) and despite the sadness & grief I was determined to push through. And putting that much effort into reading a story made it less enjoyable. Charlie David did a good job with the narration, but that music was...off-putting. Pretty, but I wish it hadn't been the chapter divider because it got old, quick. Definitely contributed to the sombre tone (which was probably the intention).
That MIL was horrible, but I liked that the SIL gave Jay Misty's diary & we get to "hear" Misty's thoughts on Jay possibly being gay - which in some way let him off the hook, emotionally, for deceiving her. And yay! for unusual jobs. I think this is the only book I've ever read with a Funeral Director as MC (Six Feet Under Fanfic doesn't count) even if Scott was a bit too perfect and their connection happened pretty quickly and under less-than-ideal circumstances. (Also, it kind of felt icky at first given Scott was acting as a sort of bereavement counselor to Jay when they met.)
I might try this book again (!) after I haven't been swamped with sad-inducing reads to see if it fares better.
August 4, 2013
DNF at 28%.
I didn't like it. I dislike the MC, Jay. And Scott was just perfect and therefore unrealistic and boring.
I was not interested in the least in what happens to either of them. I didn't like the whole setting with the dead wife and the "You did nothing wrong" spiel. Lying to your wife about your sexuality is wrong in my book, but ok.
I am disappointed because I liked many of the author's other books a lot.
And I regret the money I spent on this one. And then I decided not to waste more time on it on top.
So, here you are.
I didn't like it. I dislike the MC, Jay. And Scott was just perfect and therefore unrealistic and boring.
I was not interested in the least in what happens to either of them. I didn't like the whole setting with the dead wife and the "You did nothing wrong" spiel. Lying to your wife about your sexuality is wrong in my book, but ok.
I am disappointed because I liked many of the author's other books a lot.
And I regret the money I spent on this one. And then I decided not to waste more time on it on top.
So, here you are.
January 19, 2018
I liked this retro re-release of one of L. A. Witt's earlier romances. It's an unusual meet/cute and it works really well.
Scott is a bit of a saint for a lot of the book, perhaps a tad unrealistic, but it works within the context of the narrative and his job as a funeral director would have given him all the empathy and understanding he gives Jay, so that felt real.
Jay, on the other hand, came across as very believable, it took me a while to warm to him as he had a bit of a guilt ridden martyr vibe for quite a lot of the book.
The way his wife's death and the aftermath of that was dealt with worked really well though. She wasn't a perfect being, she wasn't a bitch, I think I would have liked Misty.
Killing off a partner to make one of the love interests have a bit more baggage is a fairly common trope, but it brings its own issues on executing it right and I think Lori hit the tone well.
#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
Scott is a bit of a saint for a lot of the book, perhaps a tad unrealistic, but it works within the context of the narrative and his job as a funeral director would have given him all the empathy and understanding he gives Jay, so that felt real.
Jay, on the other hand, came across as very believable, it took me a while to warm to him as he had a bit of a guilt ridden martyr vibe for quite a lot of the book.
The way his wife's death and the aftermath of that was dealt with worked really well though. She wasn't a perfect being, she wasn't a bitch, I think I would have liked Misty.
Killing off a partner to make one of the love interests have a bit more baggage is a fairly common trope, but it brings its own issues on executing it right and I think Lori hit the tone well.
#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review.
January 28, 2019
L. A. Witt has written some really wonderful books. Unfortunately, this one is a C- for me. It’s just a little sappy with a weak, melodramatic, and not very likable main character.
I get it, his wife died before he could tell her he was gay. So instead of divorcing her, she dies. Then he tells his in-laws right after the funeral. That just didn’t make any sense at all. Next he starts a relationship with the funeral director less than a month after she died. This entire scenario just didn’t work for me.
I get it, his wife died before he could tell her he was gay. So instead of divorcing her, she dies. Then he tells his in-laws right after the funeral. That just didn’t make any sense at all. Next he starts a relationship with the funeral director less than a month after she died. This entire scenario just didn’t work for me.
December 3, 2014
3.5 stars
Overall an enjoyable story, but I found it to be a bit slow and repetitive in parts. Both MC's came off as realistic and the love scenes were both steamy and sweet. Scott has an almost endless supply of patience for the floundering Jay and there is quite a bit of angst and emotional upheaval. Not my favorite L.A. Witt story, but good nonetheless.
Overall an enjoyable story, but I found it to be a bit slow and repetitive in parts. Both MC's came off as realistic and the love scenes were both steamy and sweet. Scott has an almost endless supply of patience for the floundering Jay and there is quite a bit of angst and emotional upheaval. Not my favorite L.A. Witt story, but good nonetheless.
February 27, 2017
Actual rating 2.5 stars.
Fun story: Woke up this morning and found myself literally stuck in bed. I had been sleeping on one end of the blanket and the dog was sleeping on the other end of the blanket in a way that I was almost in a cocoon. Somehow managed to get my hands out and since it was rather difficult (and I didn't particularly want to) to move, I decided to read a bit. This book was just lying there on my Kindle, waiting to be read... and here I am, several hours later with a book that had a pretty awesome premise, but unfortunately with a somewhat lacking execution.
There were parts of this book that I quite enjoyed, but I have to admit that most of the time I was left wondering WHY on earth did Jay marry his wife Misty in the first place and why should anyone care who you're interested in as long as the relationships you're in are consensual and between people of sound mind. No-one forced him to marry Misty, did they? Jay seemed to have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of guilt for not telling his wife that he'd like to separate and he's actually into guys. He seemed to have even more guilt for not telling his family that he's actually not interested in women. All in all, a ton of guilt and angst...
Maybe I'm the wrong person to say this, but no-one should ever worry whether their family accepts them or not for who they are attracted to in the first place. As long as these relationships are between adults of sound mind, that is. I don't think anyone should ever worry whether their parents accept them for liking someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex or multiple someones. The family is supposed to support you no matter what and yes, I know, a lot of people are bigoted and that's why it is difficult for some to get out of the closet, so to speak, but frankly why does it matter if it's two (or more) men or two women or a man and a woman in a relationship? And I guess that's one of the reason's why I really loved the protagonist's sister so much. There's not much of her, but she seemed to share my point of view here and frankly, Jay ought to talk more with his sister.
I would recommend this book if you're in the mood for some angst. If you're looking for something lighthearted and fun, I don't think this is really it...
The Book Challengers blog // The Book Challengers Instagram // The Book Challengers Twitter
Fun story: Woke up this morning and found myself literally stuck in bed. I had been sleeping on one end of the blanket and the dog was sleeping on the other end of the blanket in a way that I was almost in a cocoon. Somehow managed to get my hands out and since it was rather difficult (and I didn't particularly want to) to move, I decided to read a bit. This book was just lying there on my Kindle, waiting to be read... and here I am, several hours later with a book that had a pretty awesome premise, but unfortunately with a somewhat lacking execution.
There were parts of this book that I quite enjoyed, but I have to admit that most of the time I was left wondering WHY on earth did Jay marry his wife Misty in the first place and why should anyone care who you're interested in as long as the relationships you're in are consensual and between people of sound mind. No-one forced him to marry Misty, did they? Jay seemed to have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of guilt for not telling his wife that he'd like to separate and he's actually into guys. He seemed to have even more guilt for not telling his family that he's actually not interested in women. All in all, a ton of guilt and angst...
Maybe I'm the wrong person to say this, but no-one should ever worry whether their family accepts them or not for who they are attracted to in the first place. As long as these relationships are between adults of sound mind, that is. I don't think anyone should ever worry whether their parents accept them for liking someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex or multiple someones. The family is supposed to support you no matter what and yes, I know, a lot of people are bigoted and that's why it is difficult for some to get out of the closet, so to speak, but frankly why does it matter if it's two (or more) men or two women or a man and a woman in a relationship? And I guess that's one of the reason's why I really loved the protagonist's sister so much. There's not much of her, but she seemed to share my point of view here and frankly, Jay ought to talk more with his sister.
I would recommend this book if you're in the mood for some angst. If you're looking for something lighthearted and fun, I don't think this is really it...
The Book Challengers blog // The Book Challengers Instagram // The Book Challengers Twitter
April 14, 2015
As the story opens, Jay is struggling with how to tell his wife that he’s gay and he wants a divorce. This is nothing new—he’s been struggling to find a way to tell her for over a year. When he answers the doorbell to find cops on his doorstep, his world falls apart as he’s notified of her tragic death in a car accident. Because he never got to tell her, he’s torn up even more and riddled with guilt.
Scott, the young funeral director, is the only one who seems to be able to get through to him, and when he confesses his deep secret, he learns that the man is also gay. He later takes up Scott’s offer to talk over coffee and the two find they have a lot in common, especially their taste in music. Timid, yet needing and wanting the contact, Jay seeks Scott out again and the two end up in bed together. But guilt intervenes again and Jay backs off, asking Scott if they can just be friends.
But as the friendship grows, so does their attraction until one day it explodes again and they commit to being lovers. Unfortunately, Jay’s sister-in-law sees them and puts two and two together and after an ugly scene with his mother-in-law, guilt wins again and the two break up. Eventually Jay finds healing through reading his wife’s diary and by going to visit her at the cemetery. Ultimately, he needs to beg Scott’s forgiveness but since they love each other, it’s given and they find their way to their HEA.
I enjoy L.A. Witt’s stories but this one didn’t hold my interest as much as most of her others have done. There’s a lot of angst and sex and not as much plot as I’d like to see. Those who like their M/M romances to take place mostly in the bedroom will like this one.
Scott, the young funeral director, is the only one who seems to be able to get through to him, and when he confesses his deep secret, he learns that the man is also gay. He later takes up Scott’s offer to talk over coffee and the two find they have a lot in common, especially their taste in music. Timid, yet needing and wanting the contact, Jay seeks Scott out again and the two end up in bed together. But guilt intervenes again and Jay backs off, asking Scott if they can just be friends.
But as the friendship grows, so does their attraction until one day it explodes again and they commit to being lovers. Unfortunately, Jay’s sister-in-law sees them and puts two and two together and after an ugly scene with his mother-in-law, guilt wins again and the two break up. Eventually Jay finds healing through reading his wife’s diary and by going to visit her at the cemetery. Ultimately, he needs to beg Scott’s forgiveness but since they love each other, it’s given and they find their way to their HEA.
I enjoy L.A. Witt’s stories but this one didn’t hold my interest as much as most of her others have done. There’s a lot of angst and sex and not as much plot as I’d like to see. Those who like their M/M romances to take place mostly in the bedroom will like this one.
November 14, 2012
This is a sweet, sometimes angsty story about a man who loses his wife in an accident before he gets up the nerve to tell her he's gay and wants a divorce. Dealing with the guilt of not being the grieving widower everyone thinks he is, while at the same time grieving in truth for his best friend, and discovering what it means to be gay, all at once, is a tremendous weight to carry. I enjoyed the journey Jay takes throughout this story, and was glad of his good fortune in meeting a man as special as Scott when he needed someone most. LA Witt seems to write really special first-times, and I wish every guy had someone like Scott to find himself with, both emotionally and physically.
dnf
August 20, 2014thank you, heather!
May 10, 2022
This was both heartbreaking and very sweet. An emotional ride in the best way. I really liked it
April 14, 2012
Like many other reviewers, L.A. Witt is an auto-buy for me - her Rules of Engagement has a permanent spot on my DIK list.
For the Living, however, can't really compare to her previous books. Witt is great at making rebound relationships realistic and emotionally engaging, but this one just didn't work for me.
While the heroes were likeable and the angsty premise was appropriately heart-wrenching, I found it to be surprisingly preachy. It made me feel she was trying much too hard to convince the reader of things we already know (unless her intended audience is different than typical m/m romance readers). There was a whole lotta TELLING going on, with a LOT of lengthy "Gay Is Good" dialogue in the first few chapters.
One thing I always love about Witt's characters are their "real" lives - their other out-of-bed jobs and friends and family that affect their relationship. Scott's career as a funeral director is one that I have *never* seen in any romance before, and I appreciated his struggles to balance his personal and professional personas.
Widower Jay is memorable as well, but I felt his character arc was pretty predictable, with angry in-laws appearing right on schedule.
For the Living isn't bad, but for anyone new to this author, I'd steer clear and go for Rules of Engagement and the Changing Plans series instead.
For the Living, however, can't really compare to her previous books. Witt is great at making rebound relationships realistic and emotionally engaging, but this one just didn't work for me.
While the heroes were likeable and the angsty premise was appropriately heart-wrenching, I found it to be surprisingly preachy. It made me feel she was trying much too hard to convince the reader of things we already know (unless her intended audience is different than typical m/m romance readers). There was a whole lotta TELLING going on, with a LOT of lengthy "Gay Is Good" dialogue in the first few chapters.
One thing I always love about Witt's characters are their "real" lives - their other out-of-bed jobs and friends and family that affect their relationship. Scott's career as a funeral director is one that I have *never* seen in any romance before, and I appreciated his struggles to balance his personal and professional personas.
Widower Jay is memorable as well, but I felt his character arc was pretty predictable, with angry in-laws appearing right on schedule.
For the Living isn't bad, but for anyone new to this author, I'd steer clear and go for Rules of Engagement and the Changing Plans series instead.
August 30, 2015
I was really enjoying this, but life happened, and wen I came back to it I found that it was hard to get back into it. Jay's repetitious "is it too soon" got to be annoying and self-pitying. My loan was about to run out so I quickly skimmed through to read the important bits like Jay coming out to his parents etc. I was happy with the way those were done, and honestly I was fine skipping all the in between without feeling like I missed anything. I think this was good and just a matter of wrong time wrong place for me.
Borrowed from Fran in the 2015 August Free-For-All in Bookie Nookie's Erotic Lending Group
Borrowed from Fran in the 2015 August Free-For-All in Bookie Nookie's Erotic Lending Group
September 29, 2016
Finally finished it
Yes It took me a long while to be able to finish this book
honestly I dont know why I put it down at some point?
Maybe because it wasn't the right time for me to read this I wasn't in the right mood I don't remember.
now that I read it I'm thinking is it because of endless guilt the MC was feeling
I actually, personally, I never felt that kind of guilt where you cannot beg for forgiveness, or cannot make it up for the other person. so I kind of felt helpless for Jay and maybe that feeling made me stop reading the story for a while.
Reading other reviews some saying it was boring I mean all the repetitive separation and getting back of the MCs. It was a little bit...
but I think the book is pretty good brought tears to my eyes at some point.
Yes It took me a long while to be able to finish this book
honestly I dont know why I put it down at some point?
Maybe because it wasn't the right time for me to read this I wasn't in the right mood I don't remember.
now that I read it I'm thinking is it because of endless guilt the MC was feeling
I actually, personally, I never felt that kind of guilt where you cannot beg for forgiveness, or cannot make it up for the other person. so I kind of felt helpless for Jay and maybe that feeling made me stop reading the story for a while.
Reading other reviews some saying it was boring I mean all the repetitive separation and getting back of the MCs. It was a little bit...
but I think the book is pretty good brought tears to my eyes at some point.
April 3, 2012
This author is an autobuy for me. I liked everything I read by her so far - I still have to try the fantasy/sci-fi stuff, but nevertheless, overall everything was wonderful. This book now was the one I liked least. I really liked both MCs, there was the chemistry between them, but I have to say, I couldn't follow the base of the conflict. The whole thing was rather far-fetched for me, so I couldn't really get into the unravelling in the end. The epilogue was nice, but for me it couldn't save the story. So, I'm sorry to say - 2.5*
August 10, 2014
This started so beautifully - real angst, real emotions, real tension, beautiful writing and then.... at the 35% mark it petered out into little more than a sex-fest. I could have believed in the situation up to that point, but I totally lost interest after that. I didn't hate the book, I just didn't like it, or care about the characters any more.
June 12, 2012
Super-sizzling hot first-time-the-two-hot-men-have-sex-with-each-other-loving: 5 stars.
Everything else: two stars. Not for bad writing style, but...it just kind of annoyed me (deep thoughts today, folks).
Everything else: two stars. Not for bad writing style, but...it just kind of annoyed me (deep thoughts today, folks).
Read
May 11, 2016Though I enjoy Charlie David quite a bit, the funeral procession music at the beginning of each chapter really ruined this audio for me. It tossed me completely out of the story.
November 28, 2012
Originally posted at Rarely Dusty Books
Genre & Keywords:
M/M Romance, Contemporary, Coming Out of the Closet, Grief, Angst, Guilt
~~~~~
Rating: 4.25 out of 5 stars
Heat level: 2.5 out of 3 flames
~~~~~
When Jay’s wife dies in a car crash he has quite a burden to carry. He not only has to deal with his grief but also struggles very hard with his guilt over not telling her that he’s gay when she was still alive. He finds understanding for his feelings and much-needed compassion in Scott, the funeral director who he meets at his wife’s funeral. Jay and Scott start out as friends but then they start to develop sexual feelings for each other as well, and soon their friendship turns into something more.
With a premise like this for a romance you know as a reader you’re getting yourself into some serious angst, heavy soul searching and deep feelings. And indeed, that’s what I got. This is definitely not a light, fluffy type of read. It’s rather emotional and it’s demanding a commitment from the reader to sit through some depressing and angsty stuff before you get the satisfaction of a happy ending.
If there’s one author I trust to guide me through this kind of thing, it’s definitely LA Witt. Her skillful pen always makes sure that I enjoy myself and feel deeply invested in her characters. Witt masters playing the spectrum of deeper feelings like no one else and she doesn’t disappoint in this novel either when she takes her readers on an emotional journey with her main characters.
However, at times I also felt a little uncomfortable with the ‘therapeutic’ nature of Jay and Scott’s relationship. Especially since they stayed on that track for a long time, until far into the book. On the one hand I really liked that Jay’s feelings of guilt are handled this seriously and not brushed aside once he found a new lover for the sake of the romantic developments. On the other hand I would’ve loved to see more of this couple after Jay had dealt with these unbearable feelings and after he had forgiven himself. So, for me the balance between ‘before’ and ‘after’ could’ve been a bit different. But I guess that’s just a matter of preference.
I was in the mood for a dramatic read and even prepared to shed some tears, and I’m glad that that’s exactly what I found when I picked up For the Living!
~
Genre & Keywords:
M/M Romance, Contemporary, Coming Out of the Closet, Grief, Angst, Guilt
~~~~~
Rating: 4.25 out of 5 stars
Heat level: 2.5 out of 3 flames
~~~~~
When Jay’s wife dies in a car crash he has quite a burden to carry. He not only has to deal with his grief but also struggles very hard with his guilt over not telling her that he’s gay when she was still alive. He finds understanding for his feelings and much-needed compassion in Scott, the funeral director who he meets at his wife’s funeral. Jay and Scott start out as friends but then they start to develop sexual feelings for each other as well, and soon their friendship turns into something more.
With a premise like this for a romance you know as a reader you’re getting yourself into some serious angst, heavy soul searching and deep feelings. And indeed, that’s what I got. This is definitely not a light, fluffy type of read. It’s rather emotional and it’s demanding a commitment from the reader to sit through some depressing and angsty stuff before you get the satisfaction of a happy ending.
If there’s one author I trust to guide me through this kind of thing, it’s definitely LA Witt. Her skillful pen always makes sure that I enjoy myself and feel deeply invested in her characters. Witt masters playing the spectrum of deeper feelings like no one else and she doesn’t disappoint in this novel either when she takes her readers on an emotional journey with her main characters.
However, at times I also felt a little uncomfortable with the ‘therapeutic’ nature of Jay and Scott’s relationship. Especially since they stayed on that track for a long time, until far into the book. On the one hand I really liked that Jay’s feelings of guilt are handled this seriously and not brushed aside once he found a new lover for the sake of the romantic developments. On the other hand I would’ve loved to see more of this couple after Jay had dealt with these unbearable feelings and after he had forgiven himself. So, for me the balance between ‘before’ and ‘after’ could’ve been a bit different. But I guess that’s just a matter of preference.
I was in the mood for a dramatic read and even prepared to shed some tears, and I’m glad that that’s exactly what I found when I picked up For the Living!
~
May 28, 2015
So this is exactly the kind of book that precipitated my 2015 Resolution, forcing myself to truly question the decision behind the ratings I give, to explain why my neurons fired and dendrites were tickled happy with something as subjective as creative story-telling... or not. Reflecting on the gaps and misses here, I came away with three ingredients. First, the level of personal angst over coming out seemed disproportionate to the age and social status of the MC; this was further reinforced by the rejection and bigotry - or lack thereof, in his conversations with family.
This leads to the second ingredient: the narrow scope of the cast. Instead of inserting themselves into his grieving after the funeral, his network of family and friends disappeared, abandoning someone who, by all accounts, had been a caring and well-loved individual. This meant all dialogue and plot progression hinged entirely on the relationship of the two MCs in isolation - no parties, work events, bumping into to third characters to provide a kind of lens as they navigated how they were seen by the world around them. These two points inform my final observation, which is a feeling of repetitiveness - with the spotlight on these two beginning a relationship that they both question for different reasons, the arguments, doubts, and over-amplified judgments they imposed on their mutual attraction continued to crop up and sounded like a broken record. Instead of flawed, the MC came across as wishy-washy.
Combined, these flavors left the story tasting stale and dated. Something that would have been published in the genre a decade or more ago. Among today's selections, unless these were young teens, billionaire werewolves, NFL players, or humans who had colonized Mars under a program designed to compel propagation of the species or some other futuristic twist to make their connection illicit, I felt from early on that the window of this type of story-telling has been closed for a while.
This leads to the second ingredient: the narrow scope of the cast. Instead of inserting themselves into his grieving after the funeral, his network of family and friends disappeared, abandoning someone who, by all accounts, had been a caring and well-loved individual. This meant all dialogue and plot progression hinged entirely on the relationship of the two MCs in isolation - no parties, work events, bumping into to third characters to provide a kind of lens as they navigated how they were seen by the world around them. These two points inform my final observation, which is a feeling of repetitiveness - with the spotlight on these two beginning a relationship that they both question for different reasons, the arguments, doubts, and over-amplified judgments they imposed on their mutual attraction continued to crop up and sounded like a broken record. Instead of flawed, the MC came across as wishy-washy.
Combined, these flavors left the story tasting stale and dated. Something that would have been published in the genre a decade or more ago. Among today's selections, unless these were young teens, billionaire werewolves, NFL players, or humans who had colonized Mars under a program designed to compel propagation of the species or some other futuristic twist to make their connection illicit, I felt from early on that the window of this type of story-telling has been closed for a while.
April 3, 2012
The author did a great job tackling some really tough subjects in this book.
I admit to being a bit hesitant, a closeted grieving widower and the funeral director, that has a chance of going really really wrong!
I found it well done, Jay's guilt, grief, drinking, his relationship with his family and his in-laws, and Scott had his own issues to deal with.
And thank goodness the wife wasn't made out to be horrible, as they often are in these kind of book!
I admit to being a bit hesitant, a closeted grieving widower and the funeral director, that has a chance of going really really wrong!
I found it well done, Jay's guilt, grief, drinking, his relationship with his family and his in-laws, and Scott had his own issues to deal with.
And thank goodness the wife wasn't made out to be horrible, as they often are in these kind of book!
August 25, 2015
Going to rant! Man, I wanted to slap Jay Warren repeatedly throughout this book. Every time I felt sympathy for him he'd wallow and make me want to pack Scott up and take him away. Oh and how is it unprofessional to date the embalmer? I like angst but this one really started to tick me off. I heard myself mumble put on your 'big boy panties on and grow a pair' over and over.Rant is over!
August 17, 2014
All good and well, except it felt a bit trite. Scott is perfect, Jay is flawed but has a good heart, they meet at an inauspicious time, but work through the issues to their HEA.
It was good, and I know most romances tend to be this way, but I guess I wanted something deeper.
It was good, and I know most romances tend to be this way, but I guess I wanted something deeper.
November 27, 2014
To much angst, not enough schmoopy romance for me right now.
Read
April 9, 2014Re-releaased April 2014.
Read
August 19, 2014DNF
Just could not be interested enough to even want to skim and find out how it ended.
Just could not be interested enough to even want to skim and find out how it ended.
Want to read
May 12, 2015Amazon freebie http://www.amazon.com/Living-L-Witt-e...
February 22, 2018
Audiobook Review
Story Rating: 3 Stars
Narration Rating: 3 Stars
Jay Warren has been struggling for a year with how to tell his wife that he is gay and that he wants a divorce. He has been drinking to fight his guilt, and he has been distant because the truth could destroy them both emotionally. Then one night comes word that the unthinkable has happened—Jay’s wife has been killed in an accident.
Scott Lawson is a funeral director at the home where Jay’s wife, Misty, will afterwards be laid to rest. He’s gay, has been out for years, and has achieved a detente with his parents over his personal truth. So when Jay approaches him, needing someone who isn’t personally involved with his loss or guilt to hear him out, Scott is willing to help.
Things become an issue when the two men realize they have an attraction to one another. The problem gets more complicated when the attraction becomes deeper and impossible to ignore.
Charlie David gives the narration here the heart it deserves and the emotion it requires; however, his voices for the main characters are frequently so much the same that it can be hard to tell them apart until you get a verbal clue as to who is, or has been, speaking. Listeners should also be cautioned that David has not lost his regional, and sometimes exotic, pronunciations of random words, but those are small bumps. A second, and much more important caution, is the inescapable “theme music”. You can’t avoid it and it adds a level of soap opera that this book simply does not need—the crescendo and decrescendo between every single chapter became characters unto themselves. This does nothing for the book or the narration. I fully expected someone to begin each chapter with, “Despite our best efforts, the patient did not survive.” There is no way to avoid it, you can’t fast forward through it, you can only live with it. One hopes this does not become a trend in audiobooks. It is far too distracting.
Charlie David has a smooth, if unvaried, voice, but the story is a bit off-putting in that Scott is required to be friend, confidant, lover, and analyst for Jay. David does his best with those four tonal differences, so if you like him as a narrator, you will enjoy this book.
Reviewed by Mike for The Novel Approach
Story Rating: 3 Stars
Narration Rating: 3 Stars
Jay Warren has been struggling for a year with how to tell his wife that he is gay and that he wants a divorce. He has been drinking to fight his guilt, and he has been distant because the truth could destroy them both emotionally. Then one night comes word that the unthinkable has happened—Jay’s wife has been killed in an accident.
Scott Lawson is a funeral director at the home where Jay’s wife, Misty, will afterwards be laid to rest. He’s gay, has been out for years, and has achieved a detente with his parents over his personal truth. So when Jay approaches him, needing someone who isn’t personally involved with his loss or guilt to hear him out, Scott is willing to help.
Things become an issue when the two men realize they have an attraction to one another. The problem gets more complicated when the attraction becomes deeper and impossible to ignore.
Charlie David gives the narration here the heart it deserves and the emotion it requires; however, his voices for the main characters are frequently so much the same that it can be hard to tell them apart until you get a verbal clue as to who is, or has been, speaking. Listeners should also be cautioned that David has not lost his regional, and sometimes exotic, pronunciations of random words, but those are small bumps. A second, and much more important caution, is the inescapable “theme music”. You can’t avoid it and it adds a level of soap opera that this book simply does not need—the crescendo and decrescendo between every single chapter became characters unto themselves. This does nothing for the book or the narration. I fully expected someone to begin each chapter with, “Despite our best efforts, the patient did not survive.” There is no way to avoid it, you can’t fast forward through it, you can only live with it. One hopes this does not become a trend in audiobooks. It is far too distracting.
Charlie David has a smooth, if unvaried, voice, but the story is a bit off-putting in that Scott is required to be friend, confidant, lover, and analyst for Jay. David does his best with those four tonal differences, so if you like him as a narrator, you will enjoy this book.
Reviewed by Mike for The Novel Approach
January 29, 2018
A Joyfully Jay review.
3.75 stars
This book deals mostly with Jay and his conflicted feelings after his wife, Misty, dies in a car accident. He had wanted to tell her that he was gay, but could not find the words. He spent many nights pacing and drinking and being scared of what he had to do. He never wanted to hurt Misty, but he knew that he couldn’t give her what either of them needed, and he was so afraid to tell her or to tell anyone.
The first man Jay allows himself to be interested in is a little inconvenient as Scott is the funeral director for Misty’s service. But Scott acknowledges a potential conflict of interest and the story proceeds without feeling like either man is crossing a line. The men are attracted to each other, but also develop a friendship. Jay still has a lot to work through, however, regarding his guilt over Misty, as well as coming out to both his and Misty’s families.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
3.75 stars
This book deals mostly with Jay and his conflicted feelings after his wife, Misty, dies in a car accident. He had wanted to tell her that he was gay, but could not find the words. He spent many nights pacing and drinking and being scared of what he had to do. He never wanted to hurt Misty, but he knew that he couldn’t give her what either of them needed, and he was so afraid to tell her or to tell anyone.
The first man Jay allows himself to be interested in is a little inconvenient as Scott is the funeral director for Misty’s service. But Scott acknowledges a potential conflict of interest and the story proceeds without feeling like either man is crossing a line. The men are attracted to each other, but also develop a friendship. Jay still has a lot to work through, however, regarding his guilt over Misty, as well as coming out to both his and Misty’s families.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
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