That's Why I Married You: How to Dance with Personality Differences

by Chana Levitan MSc

That's Why I Married You! is not your average marriage book, but a practical handbook for couples written by marriage expert Chana Levitan. Learn how to not only live with personality differences but to actually love those differences. The fact is that we're naturally attracted to someone who possesses significant differences (amid various similarities). These differences hold a tremendous power of connection and vibrancy if we can use them correctly. Without the proper emotional tools and the right mindset, however, these very differences can trip a couple up and can even wreak havoc in a marriage. Marriage help is often right in front of us. When a couple finally opens their eyes to the power hidden within their personality differences, they often find themselves saying, Oh... that's why I married you! It is truly exciting to discover the many ways each spouse completes each other as a result of their personality differences. That's Why I Married You! is packed with essential marriage advice, information, practical exercises, tips, and charts. Through the real-life narratives of successful couples who share how they make their personality differences work, the reader will find inspiration and guidance. Marriage is the ultimate journey; That's Why I Married You! is the qualified manual for a successful journey.

Genres: Marriage

207 pages, Paperback

Published March 15, 2016

Reviews

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book for people in an otherwise healthy marriage. It's a simple methodology that is outlined in an easy to understand way. Of course, putting it into practice will not be simple or easy. I quite like the examples here which help a lot in putting the method into practice. I wanted this book to talk more about communication and give some examples about how to talk to your spouse when you have differences. There is mention about it in the book but not as much as I had hoped.

[Shira · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how this book delivers a sensitive message in an unexpectedly lighthearted manner. It gave me a very grounded perspective on marriage and relationships in general. I especially appreciated how the author emphasized the importance of each spouse having an emotional outlet. As a mom of quite a crew, it’s so easy to neglect the need for such an outlet.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short little book helped me understand a few things about my (already happy, thank G-d) marriage that had always mystified me.

Chana Levitan asked couples about their personality differences, then studied how their ways of coping (or mishandling) these differences affected their marital happiness and duration. She eventually discovered that the most successful marriages used personality differences between spouses as a strength, rather than viewing them as a constant source of friction.

Again, I thought the book was interesting even though I am in a relatively stable relationship. I can only imagine how helpful this book would be to people with conflict in the relationship, but I suspect it would be immensely useful. Because of the narrow scope of the book, I would not recommend reading this book as the one and only book about marital relationships you read (unless you are also seeing a therapist to work on this specific issue). However, coupled with The 5 Love Languages, it's really powerful. It generated a fascinating conversation with my husband and it might improve our already close bond.

The book came to my attention because the author and the publishing house are Jewish. While there is a small number of Jewish references in this book (like, maybe 5), the book is entirely applicable and understandable to readers of all faiths.

[Irwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came to me just after the long and final hushing breath of a very long teenage relationship. I think it put so very many things into perspective and helped me reflect on and learn from the relationship. I think being in a mode of pondering my own viability as a partner for the duration of the multiple times I've sat down to progress through this book has elevated my understanding of myself in that regard. Levitan is a sincere and empathetic writer, and I gained greatly from reading this book.