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Tats
Lee Hammond’s girlfriend has moved on to other women. Deciding she’s done the last of her now ex’s laundry, Lee hops on the Harley, ripe for adventure. One thunderstorm, a brief stint as a funeral crasher, two ruined shoes and several cheerleaders later, she’s still planning to run away. Better yet, she’s got one of the cheerleaders along for the ride.
Not just any cheerleader, either. Vivian Baxter is that cheerleader, the one that made Lee certain back in high school that she was never going to be like all the other girls.
Destination? Someplace not Oklahoma. Possibilities? As many as the wide open road can offer. Problems? None at all. Except perhaps Lee’s ex, a hopping mad stripper who wants her Harley back.
Vivian’s feminine wiles prove invaluable in solving their transportation problem just as her own past catches up to them. And Vivian’s past has two legs, a lot of henchman and a very big gun. Lee and Vivian may never get out of Oklahoma, and Oklahoma may never be the same.
First-time novelist Layce Gardner’s love story sparkles with irreverent wit, unexpected developments and features two women in the race of their lives on the trip of a lifetime.
Not just any cheerleader, either. Vivian Baxter is that cheerleader, the one that made Lee certain back in high school that she was never going to be like all the other girls.
Destination? Someplace not Oklahoma. Possibilities? As many as the wide open road can offer. Problems? None at all. Except perhaps Lee’s ex, a hopping mad stripper who wants her Harley back.
Vivian’s feminine wiles prove invaluable in solving their transportation problem just as her own past catches up to them. And Vivian’s past has two legs, a lot of henchman and a very big gun. Lee and Vivian may never get out of Oklahoma, and Oklahoma may never be the same.
First-time novelist Layce Gardner’s love story sparkles with irreverent wit, unexpected developments and features two women in the race of their lives on the trip of a lifetime.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 14, 2011
44 people are currently reading
356 people want to read
About the author
Layce Gardner
43 books127 followersLayce Gardner is a screenwriter, a novelist, and a playwright. Her plays have been performed around the world and she is the recipient of The Los Angeles Drama Logue Award for Best Play. She has written screenplays for every major television network and her movie “Prison of Secrets” was Lifetime’s highest rated movie. She is the Goldie award-winning author of the novel, Tats. She has written over forty books and is one half of the best-selling comedic duo, Layce Gardner and Saxon Bennett.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
April 22, 2012
Tats is definitely a comedy and it's a good one and you're going to laugh a lot, but I want to address what the author does with comedy. She takes a picaresque novel and gives it more than a light fluffy gloss full of slapstick. She uses her character arc to explore the very human flaws of her protagonist and through the adventures of the story makes Lee grow and heal as well as fall in love and help her best friend through substance abuse. By the end of of the novel Lee and her best friend Viv both gain a better sense of self--they redeem themselves by doing what is hardest for us all--they look at themselves, see what's truly there and then get off their asses and do something about it. Tats is a comedy about redemption--you laugh while you cry, while you learn to take the wild ride that is your life.
August 21, 2017
“Tats” is an often hilarious, occasionally heartbreaking, story of past and current adventures and misadventures of butch lesbian Lee and former cheerleader Vivian, who frequently insists she’s not a dyke.
The book is told from Lee’s POV, and during lulls in their madcap roadtrip adventure, we learn of Lee’s past through flashbacks. We learn of Vivian’s past as Vivian talks with Lee.
Be prepared to suspend belief for this book - while two women like this MAY exist….it’s not probable. There are lots of fun interactions between Lee and Vivian; Lee betting Vivian she can’t talk without swearing, and the moment when Vivian realizes Lee is a lesbian are hilarious.
Deciding to become friends is probably the single good decision either of these women have ever made in their lives….much of the book involves past and current decisions that left me shaking my head, thinking this book is a poster child for the “fic” in “lesfic”. The MCs are very interesting, but neither is likable in a way that I would want to be either of them or be in a relationship with either of them. I suspect it would even be difficult being casual friends IRL - they’re that off the wall.
But the weirdness works well for “Tats”, and I enjoyed the book, and the terrific narration (by the author), very much, and look forward to the sequel, “Tats Too”, being released on Audible soon! (The author and her partner Saxon Bennett just created their own audiobook production facility!). 4.4*
The book is told from Lee’s POV, and during lulls in their madcap roadtrip adventure, we learn of Lee’s past through flashbacks. We learn of Vivian’s past as Vivian talks with Lee.
Be prepared to suspend belief for this book - while two women like this MAY exist….it’s not probable. There are lots of fun interactions between Lee and Vivian; Lee betting Vivian she can’t talk without swearing, and the moment when Vivian realizes Lee is a lesbian are hilarious.
Deciding to become friends is probably the single good decision either of these women have ever made in their lives….much of the book involves past and current decisions that left me shaking my head, thinking this book is a poster child for the “fic” in “lesfic”. The MCs are very interesting, but neither is likable in a way that I would want to be either of them or be in a relationship with either of them. I suspect it would even be difficult being casual friends IRL - they’re that off the wall.
But the weirdness works well for “Tats”, and I enjoyed the book, and the terrific narration (by the author), very much, and look forward to the sequel, “Tats Too”, being released on Audible soon! (The author and her partner Saxon Bennett just created their own audiobook production facility!). 4.4*
August 18, 2017
A little to much for me
I really wanted to like this book but so much happened that I just couldn't wrap my head around and then I honestly didn't really like either character. I can't say what it was I didnt't like exactly but I just didn't. I mean I don't know many lesbians who identify as such and has since at least a decade or so who would sleep with a random guy to make a straight girl jealous. This almost feels like that weird movie James Vanderbeak (you know who I'm talking about...Dawson from Dawson's Creek) tries to break his goodboy persona. Anyway...fans of Gardner will like this and I think people looking for a wacky adventure with loads of craziness
I really wanted to like this book but so much happened that I just couldn't wrap my head around and then I honestly didn't really like either character. I can't say what it was I didnt't like exactly but I just didn't. I mean I don't know many lesbians who identify as such and has since at least a decade or so who would sleep with a random guy to make a straight girl jealous. This almost feels like that weird movie James Vanderbeak (you know who I'm talking about...Dawson from Dawson's Creek) tries to break his goodboy persona. Anyway...fans of Gardner will like this and I think people looking for a wacky adventure with loads of craziness
will-never-read
April 16, 2012Skip this and save your money.
March 17, 2022
I'm nutty about this book. Page after page, I'm blown away by Layce's sharp wit and Lee's hilarious internal dialogue. I can't recommend it enough, but I'll certainly try!!
March 20, 2021
An edgy and raw lesbian story on crack
Well, where the Hell shall I start?
I had an idea as to how this story was going to play out, and just like protagonist Lee, I was just as shocked as she was as to where this ride took us and how it ended. And just like Lee and Viv, I too, felt like I had been put through the wringer afterward. I mean, I was looking around for a smoke just to catch my breath.
Rapidly busy.
A story that started at 60mph then opened up her throttle and flew at lightning speed, only to skid sideways to a screeching stop, flip it, and take off on a completely different route. Lee and Viv were toxic for each other, they were the most dysfunctional duo, yet they seemed to thrive together while slowing sucking the life force out of each other. Viv was one of those women who could easily turn a man or woman gray overnight while sending them howling to the loony bin. She was independent but a leech at the same freaking time. Lee, well, she had a lot of internal baggage, but you couldn't blame her and the tumultuous past she had. I hated that Lee bent to Viv's will more than once and put herself in uncomfortable situations, like dressing like a tart in a dress no respectable woman would wear. I also hated that Lee felt the need to get back at Viv by sacrificing her self-respect, and look where it got her in the end. Viv repeatedly told Lee that she wasn't a dyke or a lesbian, but liked Lee and found her attractive. That's fine. There's straight women out there who find love with a woman and don't identify as a lesbian, but to constantly bang it in people's heads starts to become redundant and just straight up "I'm-gonna-knock-you-upside-the-head-if-you-don't-shut-your-pie-hole" annoying.
A quick mention of the lack of safe sex in this story.
In the end, it all worked out, even though I think both women needed therapy. My review probably sounded sour and bitter, but I did genuinely like this story.
Well, where the Hell shall I start?
I had an idea as to how this story was going to play out, and just like protagonist Lee, I was just as shocked as she was as to where this ride took us and how it ended. And just like Lee and Viv, I too, felt like I had been put through the wringer afterward. I mean, I was looking around for a smoke just to catch my breath.
Rapidly busy.
A story that started at 60mph then opened up her throttle and flew at lightning speed, only to skid sideways to a screeching stop, flip it, and take off on a completely different route. Lee and Viv were toxic for each other, they were the most dysfunctional duo, yet they seemed to thrive together while slowing sucking the life force out of each other. Viv was one of those women who could easily turn a man or woman gray overnight while sending them howling to the loony bin. She was independent but a leech at the same freaking time. Lee, well, she had a lot of internal baggage, but you couldn't blame her and the tumultuous past she had. I hated that Lee bent to Viv's will more than once and put herself in uncomfortable situations, like dressing like a tart in a dress no respectable woman would wear. I also hated that Lee felt the need to get back at Viv by sacrificing her self-respect, and look where it got her in the end. Viv repeatedly told Lee that she wasn't a dyke or a lesbian, but liked Lee and found her attractive. That's fine. There's straight women out there who find love with a woman and don't identify as a lesbian, but to constantly bang it in people's heads starts to become redundant and just straight up "I'm-gonna-knock-you-upside-the-head-if-you-don't-shut-your-pie-hole" annoying.
A quick mention of the lack of safe sex in this story.
In the end, it all worked out, even though I think both women needed therapy. My review probably sounded sour and bitter, but I did genuinely like this story.
August 16, 2011
Lee Hammond is a little bit lost. She’s just been dumped by girlfriend, Ginger, a stripper whose amorous attention has been wandering. Lee decides to take a last joy ride on Ginger’s Harley and finds herself looking for shelter from a sudden thunderstorm in a cemetery near a funeral in progress. Lee ends up giving a ride to funeral attendee Vivian Baxter. Vivian was a cheerleader from Lee’s high school class. Not just a cheerleader but THE cheerleader from Lee’s high school years and related adolescent fantasies. That is the beginning of a new chapter to the road trip genre.
Tats is often laugh-out-loud funny—as when Vivian decides to treat Lee to the “full monty” wax at a day spa -- and sometimes charmingly silly – as when the duo decide to “camp” overnight inside a Wal-Mart. Vivian, it turns out, is on the run from an English mafia don and they turn in odd circles trying to avoid “Prince Charles.” Among those turns is a visit to a spa, their high school’s homecoming dance and more than a couple motels and hotels along the way. Indeed their great road trip goes a lot of places and raucous hilarity ensues yet they never seem to get very far. Both Vivian and Lee are flawed and vivid characters struggling to survive and often avoiding their pain with the next opportunity to numb.
Tats is the one of the first novels released under Bella Books’ new Bella Attitude line. And while not necessarily as erotic as the Bella After Dark line, Tats does have a little more “attitude” than the average Bella title and the humor and bold bawdiness might push boundaries for some readers. For example, “I have this weird thing where I nickname women’s tits after famous couples in history.” p13 or at the spa as Lee muses regarding her wax job offer of a triangle or heart, “That’s why they call it a bush, I guess. Because just like a bush, you can trim it into cute little shapes.” So Lee asks for a teddy bear. p84
Initially Lee seems just to be along for an unknown, unplanned and outlandish road trip with that fantasy of a cheerleader. Yet Tats is really Lee’s journey. A tall, butch, tattooed woman with a nightmare childhood who loves motorcycles and can fix most things mechanical, Lee has a quirky sense of humor -- at one point covering a sleeping Vivian with little smiley faces stickers from Wal-Mart -- and writes daily in her journal. Lee is also filled with pain. It is her confrontation of her past that grounds the novel as more than a romping road trip. Lee confronts abuse, trauma and survival and along the way, she finds her own path to healing, growth, family and freedom.
The debut novel by veteran screen writer, Layce Gardner, Tats takes the iconic buddy road trip story to a new place. For one thing, the heroes don’t die at the end! And hopefully, we’ll be hearing more from Lee and Vivian as well as Ms. Gardner. In the meanwhile, move over Thelma & Louise and step aside Butch & Sundance. There’s a new trip in town and it’s over the edge funny, gun blazing fast-paced and well worth the read.
Tats is often laugh-out-loud funny—as when Vivian decides to treat Lee to the “full monty” wax at a day spa -- and sometimes charmingly silly – as when the duo decide to “camp” overnight inside a Wal-Mart. Vivian, it turns out, is on the run from an English mafia don and they turn in odd circles trying to avoid “Prince Charles.” Among those turns is a visit to a spa, their high school’s homecoming dance and more than a couple motels and hotels along the way. Indeed their great road trip goes a lot of places and raucous hilarity ensues yet they never seem to get very far. Both Vivian and Lee are flawed and vivid characters struggling to survive and often avoiding their pain with the next opportunity to numb.
Tats is the one of the first novels released under Bella Books’ new Bella Attitude line. And while not necessarily as erotic as the Bella After Dark line, Tats does have a little more “attitude” than the average Bella title and the humor and bold bawdiness might push boundaries for some readers. For example, “I have this weird thing where I nickname women’s tits after famous couples in history.” p13 or at the spa as Lee muses regarding her wax job offer of a triangle or heart, “That’s why they call it a bush, I guess. Because just like a bush, you can trim it into cute little shapes.” So Lee asks for a teddy bear. p84
Initially Lee seems just to be along for an unknown, unplanned and outlandish road trip with that fantasy of a cheerleader. Yet Tats is really Lee’s journey. A tall, butch, tattooed woman with a nightmare childhood who loves motorcycles and can fix most things mechanical, Lee has a quirky sense of humor -- at one point covering a sleeping Vivian with little smiley faces stickers from Wal-Mart -- and writes daily in her journal. Lee is also filled with pain. It is her confrontation of her past that grounds the novel as more than a romping road trip. Lee confronts abuse, trauma and survival and along the way, she finds her own path to healing, growth, family and freedom.
The debut novel by veteran screen writer, Layce Gardner, Tats takes the iconic buddy road trip story to a new place. For one thing, the heroes don’t die at the end! And hopefully, we’ll be hearing more from Lee and Vivian as well as Ms. Gardner. In the meanwhile, move over Thelma & Louise and step aside Butch & Sundance. There’s a new trip in town and it’s over the edge funny, gun blazing fast-paced and well worth the read.
February 9, 2017
What a trip! So glad there is a sequel to this story because I don't want to leave these fabulous characters yet. There was a lot going on and Layce Gardner certainly knows how to weave a fabulous page turner and she does not shy away from the heavier subjects either.
February 17, 2023
This book had been on my tbr list for a while, and my parents then went and got this book and the second one.
Well, let's just say I'm so glad that I came across this book and added it to my tbr list.
This book had me in stitches the whole time. It's one of those books that, when you start, you never want to finish.
The book is a sapphic book and sort of enemies to lovers. However, it's not like one of your regular sapphic books; it's more a fun and adventure type of book.
Let's just say that Lee and Vivian don't have a normal lesbian relationship.
Trigger Warnings:
Rape, Rape mention, Murder, suicide mention, suicide attempt, overdose, overdose mention and Guns.
Rating:
5/5
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Well, let's just say I'm so glad that I came across this book and added it to my tbr list.
This book had me in stitches the whole time. It's one of those books that, when you start, you never want to finish.
The book is a sapphic book and sort of enemies to lovers. However, it's not like one of your regular sapphic books; it's more a fun and adventure type of book.
Let's just say that Lee and Vivian don't have a normal lesbian relationship.
Trigger Warnings:
Rape, Rape mention, Murder, suicide mention, suicide attempt, overdose, overdose mention and Guns.
Rating:
5/5
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
December 12, 2016
Tats is not your vanilla pudding kind of lesbian romance; and I find that to be its greatest strength. If you like watered down Harlequin or Bold Stroke "romances" with predictable plots and nice normal girls you probably won't like Tats. Tats is full of risque humor and literally rumbles with addiction and dark comedic moments. IN other words, these are REAL lesbians with REAL issues that are just trying to get on with life in rural Oklahoma. The writing and dialogue in Tats is bold and clever; clear and sharp as diamonds. The storytelling is likewise brave and daring. In this romantic comedy butch biker babe (Lee) snags the cheerleader (Vivian), but neither of the characters are stock-in-trade, nor do they fall in love graciously. There are precious few romantic comedies in LGBT literature so hats off to Gardner for tackling a tough re-visioning of this genre with lesbian characters. Yes, the plot does get a little bizarre at times, but the characters are so well defined and unique that I had no problem falling in love with them and rooting for them to overcome their imperfections and give love a try. One of my favorite lesbian books of all time, full of heart-warming humor and heart-breaking moments of the kind we all face in pursuit of happily ever after in a very imperfect world.
December 18, 2017
Loved the audio version of this book.
no-thanks
January 18, 2019MF sex in FF books doesn't work for me, no matter how an author spins it into a story.
To each their own and all that.
To each their own and all that.
August 22, 2011
First time author Layce Gardner hits this one out of the park. I haven't laughed this hard at a book in a long time. My kids thought I was nuts because I would be laughing hysterically time and time again. The characters are funny, real and yet there are still some moments that brought tears to my eyes.
I really had no idea what to expect from this book, I picked it up when I was on vacation thinking it was going to be a normal cheesy lesbian romance but I got so much more. The wit and humor that go back and forth between the characters, the crazy situations they wind up in and the poignant moments make this book worth so much more than the cover might make you think. This is the ultimate road trip but the main characters don't die in the end.
I really had no idea what to expect from this book, I picked it up when I was on vacation thinking it was going to be a normal cheesy lesbian romance but I got so much more. The wit and humor that go back and forth between the characters, the crazy situations they wind up in and the poignant moments make this book worth so much more than the cover might make you think. This is the ultimate road trip but the main characters don't die in the end.
August 29, 2014
I absolutely loved this book. It's hilarious! Vivian and Lee are complex and absolutely loveable. The backgrounds and the personal flaws of these characters make me love them more. I found myself highlighting most of their conversations so I could go back and read them again. The development of their relationship is a wonderful read. And the situations they find themselves in.. well just made the story 100x better. If there was a better way to say "I highly recommend" that would be what I would say! 5 stars? Try 10! You will laugh until you cry.. guaranteed!
February 4, 2012
It was a great read. The pace is furious, the situations the characters find themselves in are funny, slapstick funny in places. But,the novel is more than hilarious, there is an undercurrent of discontent the main character feels about her life and that discontent offers depth to the story. I recommend Tats with the caution that once you start reading you won't be able to stop.
October 17, 2018
Loved it!
May 2, 2017
I had a lot off laughs with this one, and absolutely loved the ending.
May 18, 2019
A fun and raunchy ride. Not to be read if you're too politically correct or have a limited sense of humour. Lee, who is entirely too easily swayed by a nice set of tits, seems to drift in and out of situations without much thought to consequence. She meets up with Viv, an ex call girl who's on the run, and the two of tear through Tulsa, causing havok and mayhem. I can't summarize it because entirely too much happens and you wouldn't believe half the stuff they get into but I dare you not to crack at least one smuile (if not fall into a fit of giggles at least once). There's a few serious parts but overall, the book is pretty much slapstick and farce which works extremely well as Gardner managed to keep both the characters likable and endearing despite some of the antics they get up to. Great dialogue and a rapid pace makes this one a hard one to put down. There's a few plot points I felt were a bit too contived, but I'm willing to let the go by without comment becuase overall this was a fun read.
December 27, 2014
I don't usually like first person narrative. It's difficult to pull off and most of the time sounds fake. So when I started this...I was skeptical. But thoroughly enjoyed it! I loved Lee's voice....i found her hysterical and laughed out loud many times. It's not a GREAT read...but was enjoyable. The main characters were well developed. The story a little fanciful...but not over the top. I believe it was this author's first....which leaves me interested in what she will put before us later!
June 17, 2012
Avoided this one as it didn't seem like my kind of book. I'm so glad I finally caved in. This book is well worth reading, just to experience "shitting cupcakes" I had tears streaming down my face with laughter !!
October 10, 2018
I'm still laughing!
The way Layce Gardner tells a story is amazing as always. I continuously laughed throughout the first half of this book! Then BAM! It got serious real quick and almost broke my heart. By the end I was laughing again. Thank goodness!
The way Layce Gardner tells a story is amazing as always. I continuously laughed throughout the first half of this book! Then BAM! It got serious real quick and almost broke my heart. By the end I was laughing again. Thank goodness!
August 22, 2011
This book hooked me from the beginning. I really loved the fast-paced action throughout. A little irreverant at times, but that just meant more fun. Plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. The interaction between Lee and Vivian was electric, and there are just enough little tender moments to draw you into the characters. The ending was a little Hollywood-cliche, but still rounded off nicely. Will definitely re-visit this one in future. Highly recommended for a fun, escapist read.
July 27, 2011
I have some mixed feelings about this book. The first half or so was filled with bizarre situations and sort of slapstick humor and the last part become much more serious.
My feelings for Lee softened a bit toward the end but I think the damage was done for me and I wasn't able to get past certain aspects of her personality.
My feelings for Lee softened a bit toward the end but I think the damage was done for me and I wasn't able to get past certain aspects of her personality.
Read
July 27, 2011I enjoyed the verbal give and take of the characters. It moved quickly and kept my attention.
August 5, 2011
This is a fantastic multi-layered book that will make you laugh, cry and hope.
October 3, 2013
This is the funniest book I have read, I loved it!! Brilliant authorxx
October 5, 2013
One of my favorite books of all time ! I loved this book ; )
August 3, 2016
Kind of a corny funny but it was okay. Not my usual read.
January 16, 2019
This would have been 4 stars but then Houston happended. I was game for all the other shenanigans but the bloke shagging just didn't fly.
September 2, 2017
This is one book you should buy right now.
it is so deep, heartfelt, and a tear jerker, you just want to reach out and hold both Lee and Vivian.
Ok, so that's just the read between the line emotions. What your gonna get on the surface is a dark comical laugh out loud rollercoaster . What a dynamic Journey these two ladies go through. You will not be able to walk away from them once you enter their world.
Lacye Gardner did an amazing job narrating every moment in her characters life. There wasn't a moment I didn't feel engaged, or connected to Lee and Vivian. When Lee was hurting I felt the pain and saw the underlining issues coming to the surface. like the big elephant in the room. Lee identifies as a Lesbian.. However sleeps with several men. in my opinion she did it out of boredom, hurt feelings, and maybe a part of her was seeking attention. who knows.. I've actually known women who yes were lesbians not bi do this. so I respect Lacye for bring the issue to the surface.
So take the time listen or read this book. Dissect it and really feel what these two ladies are going through, and what triumphs they accomplish together.
I know you will not be disappointed with TAT. Go buy your copy today....
it is so deep, heartfelt, and a tear jerker, you just want to reach out and hold both Lee and Vivian.
Ok, so that's just the read between the line emotions. What your gonna get on the surface is a dark comical laugh out loud rollercoaster . What a dynamic Journey these two ladies go through. You will not be able to walk away from them once you enter their world.
Lacye Gardner did an amazing job narrating every moment in her characters life. There wasn't a moment I didn't feel engaged, or connected to Lee and Vivian. When Lee was hurting I felt the pain and saw the underlining issues coming to the surface. like the big elephant in the room. Lee identifies as a Lesbian.. However sleeps with several men. in my opinion she did it out of boredom, hurt feelings, and maybe a part of her was seeking attention. who knows.. I've actually known women who yes were lesbians not bi do this. so I respect Lacye for bring the issue to the surface.
So take the time listen or read this book. Dissect it and really feel what these two ladies are going through, and what triumphs they accomplish together.
I know you will not be disappointed with TAT. Go buy your copy today....
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews