Mo(u)Rning Joy

by Kalan Chapman Lloyd

"If the raw reality of stillbirth, loss of pregnancy, or miscarriage has rendered you senseless if you feel helpless in friending a grieving family, then you will be touched by the words of care and concern that you can't always think to say at the time. I highly recommend this unabashed account of Kalan Lloyd's journey toward wholeness."-Susanna Fitzgerald, MSW "A cry-laugh, laugh-cry. What makes it so good is how she conveys the terrible sadness and madness of losing a child."-Heath Mueller, M.D., Psychiatry "Kalan's frank, honest expression of her personal experience will bring hope and encouragement to many." -Lisa Nolan, Associate Pastor, Cornerstone Fellowship "Rarely as healthcare providers do we have the opportunity to hear the intimate thoughts and feelings of a patient who has been delivered the most heartbreaking news. This memoir will help us all be better friends, family members, and caregivers to those that have experienced such loss." -Shara Young, M.D., OBGYN

Kindle Edition

First published September 8, 2015

About the author

Kalan Chapman Lloyd is an attorney and author currently residing in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She enjoys big hair, Supreme Court Decisions on Intellectual Property, hats, the sound of construction and the feel of brand new sweatshirts. Kalan grew up in the small town Tahlequah, OK where she graduated from Tahlequah Senior High School. She attended Oklahoma State University and the University of Tulsa College of Law and has been a member of the Oklahoma Bar since 2008. She and her husband enjoy parenting their left-handed, strong-willed children. She is a Junior League dropout.

Her first book, Home Is Where Your Boots Are, the first in the series, The MisAdventures of Miss Lilly was a finalist in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards and spent several weeks at No. 1 on the Literature and Fiction list of Lulu.com. It is set for re-release in May 2015. Her second in the series, These Boots Are Made For Butt-Kickin’, is due out in June of 2015.

Kalan writes about The South and its caricatures.

Her favorite authors are Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Janet Evanovich, Mary Kay Andrews, Jen Hatmaker, Dorothea Benton Frank and Dixie Cash, along with Faulkner, Welty, and Fitzgerald.

Reviews

[Bran Diyanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

When the opportunity came up to read and review this book, I was so elated. This non fiction book by Kalan Chapman Llyod really hit close to home for me. It is her true story in her own words in her own way. The words on these pages, tell of her journey and struggle of having her first born child be born as a stillbirth.

There are a total of 153 pages with 36 chapters in this heart-wrentching book. Even though, I had struggles after my miscarriage, I never read any self help books or any true story ones like this book to help cope. I knew while reading this book, I was healed, able to feel, and relate to everything she had dealt with.
I
n this memior book, Kalan is very candid about it all and even uses some humor to tell this incrediable real tale. Also, there are no "big fancy" words or trailing off the subject at hand while your reading each chapter either. There are also quotes and a few inspiring Bible verses used in this book as well.

The author shares openly her thoughts of dealing with the realities of stillbirth, the medical community, depression, anger, family, society, and her relationship with God. When I was reading this, it was like having many "aha" (as Oprah Winfrey calls them) moments. Some of her thoughts, were the exact same thoughts I had after the loss of my baby. As she said in one of her chapters: " If you haven't lived it, you don't get it. If we've lived it, we don't want to bother you with our angst, and we know you can't relate."

In summary, this book was very truthful, and insightful. It will leave an impression on anyone who has a real heart with compassion and empathy. Even more so, if you have ever dealt with the loss of a child, experienced stillbirth, or have had a miscarriage of a pregnancy. I absolutely loved this book and will never forget it or the author who was brave enough to share her experience, her life with the world.

I received this Ebook for free in exchange for my honest and unbiased review. Thank you.

[Karen Loomis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Important 18 years down the road...

I have a daughter in Heaven. She was not stillborn, but had to be placed on life support in the OR after her delivery via emergency C-section. She only lived three days in July 1999. She was my third daughter and our fourth of five girls. I have the box with a smaller box. She is still important to our family. It is just as important for people to know about her just like our other four. Your book and feelings are so real and true. We have both taken the journey, but took our own path. Normal is forever changed. I appreciate your faith and honesty. I read the entire book at one setting. I would like to add another couple of resources. The book I'll Hold You in Heaven and themissfoundation.org. It is great for the loss of a child from at any age from any cause.

[Gina R. Briggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. After finishing Kalan Chapman Lloyd's Mourning Joy, I feel seen and refreshed (especially after having a good cry!). It feels a little odd to say a memoir is "entertaining" because, clearly, memoirs usually contain depictions of a person's trauma. But Kalan is such a careful storyteller, I found myself riding the waves of her tale with ease. I was very entertained, but also so enlightened and inspired. As a loss mom myself, so much of what she said was just on the nose. I WISH I had this book in my hands when I lost my daughter back in 2021. I will gladly recommend it to anyone I meet in the loss community in the future. Beautiful work!

[Padgett Ratings · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fast moving action thriller.

[Julie Haigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Difficult to read yet difficult to put down.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley for an honest review.

I thought this memoir was very well written and easy to read which sounds a bit of a strange thing to say when it concerns such an incredibly hard subject-but the author expertly gets you interested and involved. I liked how she didn’t spend a long time setting background info and had very short chapters or scenes-it was straight in, brutal, she was having to go through labour, knowing her baby had already died. After such shocking revelations you can’t help but read on.

I like how there are many ‘write as you talk’ expressions in here etc. These created a few smiles, the author could often be witty-and think on the subject. She manages to raise a few little chuckles in the way she retells her story and I found this remarkable.

The sweet cover pic is also used at the start of chapters and there is a significance to this picture which is revealed later on in the book. I started this very late at night and it held my attention straight away. I read up to 25% without stopping and didn't want to put it down. I read it in just a couple of days.

I didn't realise that the incidence of stillbirth is this much-1 in 160 births? Reading memoirs on this subject makes you realise how many people take having babies for granted; for some people it is a very long and very hard road and it’s amazing how they get through everything. I’m sure the author’s story will help and inspire many others in the same situation and will educate others on the sidelines looking in.