Not Alone: A Literary and Spiritual Companion for Those Confronted with Infertility and Miscarriage

by Jessica Snell (Editor), Jennifer Hallmark

Our society understands how terrible the loss of a child is when that child is out of the womb, but what about when a child dies before birth? Or what about the emptiness that comes when a very-much-wanted child is never even conceived? These quiet, private losses are hard for those who have not experienced them to understand. And these losses leave those who have suffered them feeling alone in their grief. Not Alone: A Literary and Spiritual Companion for Those Confronted with Infertility and Miscarriage is a resource both for those who have suffered through these experiences and for their friends and relatives, who want to understand what their loved ones are going through. This collection contains true stories that are: sensitive, and yet honest angry and raw, but not despairing unique, and yet relatable The contributors to this book are male and female, old and young, some who eventually had children and some who never did, and yet despite their differences, they share a common grief and a common faith. No experience of miscarriage and infertility is like any other, yet by reading these painful and hope-filled stories, you'll be comforted by knowing there are others who understand the journey you're on, the loss you've suffered, and you will find that even though your loss is uniquely yours, you are not alone."

178 pages, Paperback

Published December 1, 2015

About the author

Jessica Snell is a writer and a mom of four who makes her home in sunny Southern California. She loves celebrating the traditional Christian feasts and fasts, and helping others to do the same!

She’s the editor of "Let Us Keep the Feast: Living the Church Year at Home", which takes the reader through all the seasons of the Christian liturgical calendar, from Advent to Ordinary Time. Broken down into specific sections like History, Traditions, In the Kitchen, Ideas, and Resources, "Let Us Keep the Feast" is an easy, interesting read full of simple traditions and the rich meanings behind them.

Reviews

[Sarah Winfrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never lost a child or struggled with infertility, but I have walked alongside several people who have. From that perspective, I found this book informative and - more than that - a resource I can share with people in the future, feeling relatively secure that they will find something in the book with which they resonate.

In fact, that was one of my favorite aspects of this book - the fact that it allowed different voices to speak and, in so doing, showed how grief is different for each person. For instance, some of the writers felt comforted when other women shared their own stories after a loss, while others didn't want to hear that. These differences are normal, but it can be hard to accept that what worked for one person won't work for all. It can also make one who is grieving differently from others feel left out, or even doubting whether they are grieving correctly.

The essays in this book are also a good reminder that every story is different. No matter the mother, no matter her children, no matter ANYTHING, we all have different stories. We experience things differently, we understand God differently,we interact with ourselves and others differently, and so, even when we are living through similar experiences, that experience will look different because we see it from our different perspectives.

In the end, I felt like this was a book for women and, specifically, for those who are mothers or who long to be. While there were male voices represented, the majority of the essays seemed to speak to places that might not resonate with many men - ideas focused on carrying a baby in your body and on the connection a woman has with her baby because the child lives inside first. And, though I haven't faced loss, as a mother I could resonate with many of the feelings expressed here - a longing for children, the joy of having one live inside, the fear of losing that little one, and more.

[Shauna Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Are you tired of internalizing the longing and loss—the pain and sorrow? Have you ever wondered if all those feelings and struggles are actually normal? Does it seem as if you can control nothing and God has resigned Himself to complete indifference? Do the clipped, unemotional clichés often received in response turn your stomach and make your blood boil? Do you wish someone somewhere understood a fraction of what is your reality? Then you will find this book to be a companion like no other!!! Not Alone is a powerful compilation of raw testimonials that doesn’t shy away from the harsh realities of infertility and miscarriage but, instead, draws from numerous personal accounts, bringing hope from the ashes of what might have been. Oh, how I wish this book had been available during my struggle, especially at the point when I reached my lowest. But even having read it now, I know this book has helped me further along in the continued healing process. Definitely a book I will be recommending to others.

*(I received this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts expressed are my own.)*