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That's Not How You Wash a Squirrel
A book about sociopathy, toasted sandwiches, and secret underground tunnels by the New York Times Bestselling author of The Internet is a Playground."Ridiculously funny. A treat for fans and new readers alike." CHICAGO TRIBUNE"Clever and laugh out loud funny. Packed with stories and correspondences that will leave you chuckling long after you have finished them." WASHINGTON POST"Razor sharp humor." SYDNEY MORNING HERALD
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2015
148 people are currently reading
688 people want to read
About the author
David Thorne
51 books452 followersDavid Thorne is an Australian humourist, satirist, Internet personality and New York Times best-selling author. His work has been featured on the BBC, The Late Show with David Letterman, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Thorne gained public recognition in late 2008 for an email exchange in which he attempts to pay an overdue bill with a drawing of a seven-legged spider. The exchange spread virally via email and social networking sites, leading to a surge of visitors to his website 27b/6 (27bslash6). 27b/6 features a collection of humorous emails and articles from Thorne's life. These and additional essays appear in Thorne's book, The Internet is a Playground. Published by Penguin Group and released on 28 April 2011, the book debuted at number four on The New York Times Best Seller list.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
April 14, 2019
I've gotten very comfortable reading and crying in public. That's easier---it makes people uncomfortable, they look away, I continue to bawl & sniffle.
Now, I'm cracking up in public. Not smiling. Not chuckling or giggling in an adorable hide-behind-my-hand kind of way. Bursting out with laughter, snorting and holding my stomach. People stare and I can tell they are jealous. Too bad they don't have cool friends to give them awesome happiness gifts like I do.
This tiny tome is simply the best. If you've read David Thorne's blog and you open this book looking for that same level of hilarity, you'll not be disappointed.
If, however, that is the only thing you're looking for......well, you're in for a small surprise. No spoilers here, but suffice it to say, I adored Mr. Thorne before reading this book. Now, it is that plus I totally dig him on a whole new level.
Enjoy.
Now, I'm cracking up in public. Not smiling. Not chuckling or giggling in an adorable hide-behind-my-hand kind of way. Bursting out with laughter, snorting and holding my stomach. People stare and I can tell they are jealous. Too bad they don't have cool friends to give them awesome happiness gifts like I do.
This tiny tome is simply the best. If you've read David Thorne's blog and you open this book looking for that same level of hilarity, you'll not be disappointed.
If, however, that is the only thing you're looking for......well, you're in for a small surprise. No spoilers here, but suffice it to say, I adored Mr. Thorne before reading this book. Now, it is that plus I totally dig him on a whole new level.
Enjoy.
July 30, 2018
Robert Benchley, Peg Bracken, Fannie Flagg, Irma Bombeck and David Sedaris: there is a long tradition of humorists writing about their writing process and about their domestic situations. David Thorne fits right into this.
He writes about how everything that goes on in his house disturbs him. He writes about writing deadlines. He writes about getting his spouse to say nice things about him that may be unmerited. And yes, he is fixated on a squirrel that only he knows how to wash properly.
Amusing, bizarre, LOL - I had all these reactions to various parts of this book. Humor is so subjective, but I thought my time here wasn’t ill-spent. Thanks to jv for pointing me in this direction.
He writes about how everything that goes on in his house disturbs him. He writes about writing deadlines. He writes about getting his spouse to say nice things about him that may be unmerited. And yes, he is fixated on a squirrel that only he knows how to wash properly.
Amusing, bizarre, LOL - I had all these reactions to various parts of this book. Humor is so subjective, but I thought my time here wasn’t ill-spent. Thanks to jv for pointing me in this direction.
July 27, 2018
He has Sedaris-like moments, but when he veers into the cruel or macabre (running over his pet turtle, the gruesome rendering of the car crash victim and her mangled arm who died in his arms) it feels jarringly incongruent with the rest of the humorous navel-gazing aspects.
May 16, 2019
Though touted as laugh-out-loud funny, this book is not. Yes, it does have some humorous essays, but much of it is not. More of it is sad and even pathetic. There is nothing funny about killing animals, and to try to insert some after-the-fact humor into the situation is wrong. And I would like to ask how, in a book described as “humor” by so many people, what was humorous about a girl dying in a car accident? This grouping of essays should have been split into two different collections; maybe then, one could have been funny. This version gets two generous stars from me for the sketchy humor it does have. I wish the other parts had been omitted.
January 8, 2017
This book was my first and last work by Thorne which I will read. The book is short and easy to read. Parts of it are legitimately funny. Other parts are awful. Thorne has a prejudice against fat people which he brings up repeatedly throughout the book acting as though it is amusing to speak negatively against them. It's not humor. It's just flat out prejudice. Aside from the elderly, there is no other group of people whom he speaks so terribly about. Also not humorous are the abundance of errors of usage. The book was not professionally edited, and thus errors of its/it's and your/you're are plentiful. There are missing quotation marks which confuse his already hard to follow dialog. The comma splices happen regularly, too. Overall, the book is a huge waste of money.
May 13, 2024
Residing in USA, David Thorne is the Australian author behind the notorious Missing Missy and despite a scathing review of
Look Evelyn Duck Dynasty Wiper Blades. We Should Get Them
in 2020, I still owned two more of the author's books. At the time I expressed my irritation at the fat phobic content and uncertainty around whether Thorne uses creative licence in a self deprecating manner in an ironic attempt to further his unlikable persona in the pursuit of entertainment; or if he's just a dick.
Four years have passed and many books have been read since then and I believe enough time has elapsed for me to tackle the next one on the pile. Did it make me chuckle or frown? Short answer, both!
The author does write humourous dialogue, and I enjoyed this excerpt from an exchange with partner Holly:
"No, you're supposed to say something nice back."
"Your hair looks nice today."
"Thanks. I used your conditioner in the little red tube."
"That's foot cream." Page 20
The title story about rearing a baby squirrel was my favourite from the collection and it was very cute. But then the author churns out a comment like this one that left a sour taste in my mouth for a few pages:
"We did visit my sister a few weeks later but there were no secret passageways in her house and neither Seb or I gave a fuck about her origami owls or potplant hangers. Any halfwit with a roll of string and a few sticks can set up an Etsy shop." Page 39
There's no context about Thorne's sister and she isn't referred to often. That particular comment came off the back of a reunion with his estranged father who had a secret passageway in his house, but without context or knowing anything about the author's sister, it's hard to interpret that comment as anything other than rude. Who writes like that publicly about their sibling anyway?
If he's joking, then it's not a joke I can join in on. I found it rude and insulting and it made me wonder if this guy means every word he writes or if he's just an arsehole. I'm starting to lean towards the latter, but you be the judge:
"I fully support discrimination against fat people but if one sat next to me on a plane I wouldn't move, ask them to move, or talk to them. I'd just be quietly annoyed the whole flight and try to breath through my mouth." Page 52
Seriously? Is this guy the real deal? Published in 2015, thankfully That's Not How You Wash A Squirrel contains fewer fat phobic references, but the fat shaming was still there. At one point he refers to a 'crazed looking flabby woman in her thirties named Rian', but it's not just fat people and fat women who irk our author:
"Penguin represent my first book but my marketing person there is a small angry Asian woman who yells a lot so I have her number blocked." Page 147
Wow, blocking the Marketing Rep from Penguin on your phone when you depend on their representation, hilarious! Hopefully you could hear the drip of my sarcasm there. It's just not funny.
The occasional fat phobic content was off putting and while I enjoyed a somewhat amusing story about hunting for the first time in the USA, I can't tell if the content has been inspired or lifted from the author's lived experience or whether it's all fiction. Is this self deprecating humour written by a humble guy unafraid of being judged harshly? Or is he just a run of the mill arsehole, wandering aimlessly around a camp site so that he doesn't have to help his mates pack up? He sounds like a tool, but that's also what used to make his writing funny.
There's a fine line and I'm never sure how close to it we are, but it feels like we're getting further away from the author's core talent for entertaining the reader. In a different example, Thorne shares a section detailing the passing of a friend after a dramatic car accident that was incredibly moving, yet I'm not sure if he's 'taking the piss'* or not.
I decided years ago not to purchase any more of David Thorne's new work, but I still have Walk It Off, Princess on my TBR pile. I can hear some of you thinking 'don't read it if you don't like his work' but have you ever decided not to read a book you purchased? Published in 2018 three years after this title, I'm hoping the downward trend on insulting people continues and the sense of humour so prevalent in his earlier work resurfaces in fine form. There's hope yet!
Four years have passed and many books have been read since then and I believe enough time has elapsed for me to tackle the next one on the pile. Did it make me chuckle or frown? Short answer, both!
The author does write humourous dialogue, and I enjoyed this excerpt from an exchange with partner Holly:
"No, you're supposed to say something nice back."
"Your hair looks nice today."
"Thanks. I used your conditioner in the little red tube."
"That's foot cream." Page 20
The title story about rearing a baby squirrel was my favourite from the collection and it was very cute. But then the author churns out a comment like this one that left a sour taste in my mouth for a few pages:
"We did visit my sister a few weeks later but there were no secret passageways in her house and neither Seb or I gave a fuck about her origami owls or potplant hangers. Any halfwit with a roll of string and a few sticks can set up an Etsy shop." Page 39
There's no context about Thorne's sister and she isn't referred to often. That particular comment came off the back of a reunion with his estranged father who had a secret passageway in his house, but without context or knowing anything about the author's sister, it's hard to interpret that comment as anything other than rude. Who writes like that publicly about their sibling anyway?
If he's joking, then it's not a joke I can join in on. I found it rude and insulting and it made me wonder if this guy means every word he writes or if he's just an arsehole. I'm starting to lean towards the latter, but you be the judge:
"I fully support discrimination against fat people but if one sat next to me on a plane I wouldn't move, ask them to move, or talk to them. I'd just be quietly annoyed the whole flight and try to breath through my mouth." Page 52
Seriously? Is this guy the real deal? Published in 2015, thankfully That's Not How You Wash A Squirrel contains fewer fat phobic references, but the fat shaming was still there. At one point he refers to a 'crazed looking flabby woman in her thirties named Rian', but it's not just fat people and fat women who irk our author:
"Penguin represent my first book but my marketing person there is a small angry Asian woman who yells a lot so I have her number blocked." Page 147
Wow, blocking the Marketing Rep from Penguin on your phone when you depend on their representation, hilarious! Hopefully you could hear the drip of my sarcasm there. It's just not funny.
The occasional fat phobic content was off putting and while I enjoyed a somewhat amusing story about hunting for the first time in the USA, I can't tell if the content has been inspired or lifted from the author's lived experience or whether it's all fiction. Is this self deprecating humour written by a humble guy unafraid of being judged harshly? Or is he just a run of the mill arsehole, wandering aimlessly around a camp site so that he doesn't have to help his mates pack up? He sounds like a tool, but that's also what used to make his writing funny.
There's a fine line and I'm never sure how close to it we are, but it feels like we're getting further away from the author's core talent for entertaining the reader. In a different example, Thorne shares a section detailing the passing of a friend after a dramatic car accident that was incredibly moving, yet I'm not sure if he's 'taking the piss'* or not.
I decided years ago not to purchase any more of David Thorne's new work, but I still have Walk It Off, Princess on my TBR pile. I can hear some of you thinking 'don't read it if you don't like his work' but have you ever decided not to read a book you purchased? Published in 2018 three years after this title, I'm hoping the downward trend on insulting people continues and the sense of humour so prevalent in his earlier work resurfaces in fine form. There's hope yet!
May 25, 2016
If you rescue a baby squirrel and he prefers your company to that of the great out of doors and other squirrels, it only makes sense that you build him a detailed house with several rooms and a Victorian bathtub...all before you build the wading pool out of tile. David Thorne is as crazy as ever but in a way that I can relate a little too well. Lucky I'm not as capable as he or my house would be unsuitable for people but perfect for cats.
Funny stuff.
Funny stuff.
August 29, 2017
I don't think I will ever dislike a David Thorne book. He actually seems like a really good father (why was I surprised by this? I feel like a jerk). I equally love his e-mail exchanges and his essays. I think he's coming out with a new book so I'm uhhhh gonna pre-order that probably now.
WHY DOES IT KEEP SAYING I'VE READ THE KINDLE EDITIONS OF BOOKS? I give up. I swear I'm just typing in the name of the book and clicking on the first result. Apparently I don't understand Goodreads.
WHY DOES IT KEEP SAYING I'VE READ THE KINDLE EDITIONS OF BOOKS? I give up. I swear I'm just typing in the name of the book and clicking on the first result. Apparently I don't understand Goodreads.
January 27, 2016
Not recommended for owners of a Nissan Cube. Otherwise, quite lovely.
October 22, 2017
David Thorne is the one writer that has the capacity to actually make me laugh out loud while reading: and as such I have been banned from reading his books in bed. Apparently other people cannot sleep if the bed is shaking due to my fits of giggles. I would also personally say, don't read this on the bus, unless you want to make sure you have the seat to yourself and nobody like to sit next to the mad giggling person.
But don't let this put you off, this is a fantastic book which is cleverly written and funny. A definite cheer up book :)
But don't let this put you off, this is a fantastic book which is cleverly written and funny. A definite cheer up book :)
February 19, 2016
I liked this volume much better than any of his previous works. There is more substance here. It is definitely humorous in parts in a David Thorne sort of way but more mellow overall. And its a real quick read.
March 1, 2017
Some of these stories are surprisingly poignant and one couldn't be read in public due to the uncontrollable laughter contortions.
May 11, 2017
Love catching up with this guy every year!
February 25, 2022
It kept me going through my assignments. I was laughing to myself in the library. If you do get offended by curse words, I wouldn't recommend this a read but nonetheless I found it funny and a little over the top, in a good way. It kind of expressed how I felt when I was doing all those assignments 😂 so if you are stressed and busy and need an quick laugh then continue working, this is a book for you.
October 1, 2018
Still has...
the ability to make me laugh out loud!
Used to read the website many years ago at work during my lunch often in tears of laughter but the articles dried up as the books took off. Still superb, dry, wry humour at it's best. This one even left with a year in my eye, probably dust, and nothing to do with a squirrel.
the ability to make me laugh out loud!
Used to read the website many years ago at work during my lunch often in tears of laughter but the articles dried up as the books took off. Still superb, dry, wry humour at it's best. This one even left with a year in my eye, probably dust, and nothing to do with a squirrel.
December 19, 2020
Meet the real David Thorne
Usually a dependable sarcastic humorist, David Thorne shows a new, touching side in this book. Read it for the humor, and allow the "peek behind the curtain" to work on your humanity for a bit. Fans will be delighted, others will be confused and throwing things at the fireplace. (Fireplace not included).
Usually a dependable sarcastic humorist, David Thorne shows a new, touching side in this book. Read it for the humor, and allow the "peek behind the curtain" to work on your humanity for a bit. Fans will be delighted, others will be confused and throwing things at the fireplace. (Fireplace not included).
December 10, 2018
Not as good as his previous two books; each one progressively a little weaker than the previous. Unfortunately, the man seems to be running out of material.
On the other hand, the upside is that his debut book can be read over and over again, at least once a year. It remains hysterically funny.
On the other hand, the upside is that his debut book can be read over and over again, at least once a year. It remains hysterically funny.
Read
January 4, 2020Many laugh out loud moments, and a couple of read out loud (to my girlfriend while she prepared for work) sections. I've been following the author since it was just a website and am pleased to see how successful he's become.
March 1, 2021
Some of it’s funny, some of it’s serious, but it had me crying with laughter mostly so that’s a win for me. I read it in one sitting. I’m a huge fan of the author’s website, 27bslash6.com, which I’d recommend giving a go before reading so you get a feel for his personality and sense of humour 😉
June 27, 2022
It's been a while since I've read a book by David Thorne. It's good when you just want to relax, laugh once in a while, and, sometimes, be thankful that you're not David Thorne.
It's a short book with a specific style of humor that may not be for everyone.
It's a short book with a specific style of humor that may not be for everyone.
January 2, 2025
The best kind of humour
The forward was enough to hook me. I’m not entirely sure what the book was about, but I don’t actually care. I giggled away to myself every time I picked it up.
The forward was enough to hook me. I’m not entirely sure what the book was about, but I don’t actually care. I giggled away to myself every time I picked it up.
May 17, 2017
Gostei muito, várias histórias interessantes e diferentes do que você imaginaria vir de David Thorne. "Look Evelyn..." me garantiu mais risadas :)
September 29, 2018
4.5 stars. Well-written, extremely funny stories with few duds.
December 20, 2017
I really like when a book makes me happy. It’s fun and simple.
February 25, 2019
7/10: Thorne's books always give me a good chuckle
April 19, 2019
Honestly I have to give this 5 stars because it was so funny and so unique. I experienced a range of emotions. Such a creative writer. Would recommend
June 20, 2019
Love this guy
I laughed so hard reading this! Can't wait for the next one. I hate the word limit that is required in a rating
I laughed so hard reading this! Can't wait for the next one. I hate the word limit that is required in a rating
July 17, 2019
5 stars
As funny as his website, which introduced me to David. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of his books.
As funny as his website, which introduced me to David. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of his books.
November 20, 2019
Not for me.
Some of the stories were genuinely entertaining, but there were also others I could not like. Jokes based on fat-shaming and about transgender people are not things I can get behind.
Some of the stories were genuinely entertaining, but there were also others I could not like. Jokes based on fat-shaming and about transgender people are not things I can get behind.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews