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Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge
Bullies aren’t limited to the playground. These days, they roam our offices and can be found everywhere from break rooms to boardrooms. They don’t steal your lunch money, but they can make your work life a living hell—and even ruin your career.
Whether the bully is a boss or a coworker…whether you’re the target of manipulation, intimidation, verbal abuse, or deliberate humiliation, Beating the Workplace Bully will show you how to fight back. Filled with exercises, assessments, and real-life examples, this empowering guide helps you recognize what’s been making you a victim...and reveals how to:
• Avoid typical bully traps
• Remain aware and in charge
• Move past your fear
• Calm yourself in any confrontation
• Keep your dignity intact
• Build confidence
• Handle sneak attacks
• Strengthen your resolve
• Understand the steps that your employer or supervisors can take to address the issue
• Combat cyberbullying
• And more
With this practical, personal coaching program in your corner, you can reclaim your power—and defeat the office bully once and for all.
252 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 6, 2016
112 people are currently reading
260 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
December 28, 2015
Quick review to come soon. Read this earlier as a resource about bullying in variant environments (in this case - the workplace). Had tons of helpful examples, expansions, and solutions.
February 2, 2016
Many thanks to the author Lynne Curry for her recommendation of this book. It just happened to come at a time when it was badly needed. After facing the deaths of my grandmother and mother within a month of each other to make matters worse my supportive work environment was taken over by a new manager and one with a reputation. The only bright spot about that was knowing I wasn't the only one. And so along came Beating the Workplace Bully. I have read other similar books and while informative they could get dry reporting stats and figures and often the end didn't give many useful suggestions on how to actually deal with bullies. In this book there are suggestions, tactics and exercises that help clear your mind and to help change your ways. Don't ever expect the bully to change. Step by step it's laid out before you, avoid direct confrontation, know your enemy. The reader is given the opportunity to set their own goals and targets for how they plan to deal with bullies and conflicts, whether it's direct face to face, through management, or by simply not allowing them to set up house in your mind. By the end of the book and the part I liked most the scenarios changed and finally the bullies were shown the door, which proves that sometimes you can get rid of a bully. This will be a book I am sure to continue to refer to and use throughout the years. Filled with great advice and real life solutions to real life problems I wish this was required reading for management and employees alike every where.
December 20, 2015
Lynne Curry’s book, Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge, brings into play all of her impressive skills as a management consultant, coach and human resources specialist, for the reader who finds they are struggling with workplace bullying. Ms. Curry offers practical advice to each member of the workplace from the bully’s target, who suffers gross indignities, to the executive manager, who often deals with the expensive consequences of bullying.
Knowledge and awareness about bullying are mastered through Ms. Curry’s introspective questions that follow each chapter. By answering the questions, the reader is drawn into a conversation with themselves that realistically defines their particular situation. Clever coaching techniques are employed throughout the book to develop the reader’s skills and confidence for an effective response to the bullying they are experiencing.
Chapter 26 is a particular favorite of ours as it addresses ‘What Human Resources Can and Should Do’. If Human Resource professionals followed the sage advice in this one chapter, there would be a significant reduction in workplace bullying and better outcomes to bullying incidents for the target and for the organization as a whole.
Ms. Curry’s observations, insights and practical guidance should prove to be tremendous assets to anyone who is fortunate enough to read her very timely book.
Ruth and Phil MacNeill
PRMAC Consulting
@HarassNoMore
Knowledge and awareness about bullying are mastered through Ms. Curry’s introspective questions that follow each chapter. By answering the questions, the reader is drawn into a conversation with themselves that realistically defines their particular situation. Clever coaching techniques are employed throughout the book to develop the reader’s skills and confidence for an effective response to the bullying they are experiencing.
Chapter 26 is a particular favorite of ours as it addresses ‘What Human Resources Can and Should Do’. If Human Resource professionals followed the sage advice in this one chapter, there would be a significant reduction in workplace bullying and better outcomes to bullying incidents for the target and for the organization as a whole.
Ms. Curry’s observations, insights and practical guidance should prove to be tremendous assets to anyone who is fortunate enough to read her very timely book.
Ruth and Phil MacNeill
PRMAC Consulting
@HarassNoMore
March 4, 2021
Quite a good book. It gives an idea of how to deal with workplace bullies. quite limited but it gives the general idea of how to deal with them and how to protect yourself. Would recommend it to people who are being bullied.
February 1, 2016
Workplace Bullying: A Silent Epidemic
Bullies are bad; you won’t get any arguments there. What folks may not know though is how rampant this scourge is. Lately, they’ve been germinating like weeds in a garden run amok. News accounts are replete with example after example of internet bullying, classroom bullying and workplace bullying. An article in The Guardian, listed details from a VitalSmarts report “that 96 percent of their respondents—out of 2,283 people—experienced workplace bullying.” Further, they add that “Psychology Today refers to the increase as a ‘silent epidemic’.” In Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge, Lynne Curry tackles this insidious problem head-on.
Curry has fashioned a solid how-to manual that succinctly, via anecdotal stories, illustrates how bullies wreaks havoc in all of the organizations they work within. She peppers her exposé of corporate America’s virulent virus with real life examples, spanning the spectrum. By confiding her own personal experience with bullying, her reader feels confident they are getting sage advice from someone who has confronted bullying directly and learned how to grapple with it.
She introduces us to composite characters, inspired by real people ensnared in real life traumas. We witness firsthand bullying encounters and how these players deal with the quandary. She wraps every chapter with a Q&A section where readers are encouraged to probe— which for some may be painful. For example, one question may ask: “are you currently entangled with a bully?” Then, “Describe the bully.” By asking thorough questions about bullying behavior and helping readers analyze their own issues she breaks down the fourth wall, transforming the reader from a passive observer to an active participant in dissecting and addressing this malady.
One theme echoed time and again is that too many organizations do not address bullying with formal policies or even tenets of recommended behavior. This regulatory vacuum extends across the country. California is the only state to enact anti-bullying legislation. As a result of these legislative lacunae it is incumbent upon the affected individual to learn to handle it independently. Curry shows the way there.
Before going any further, it’s worth noting that while Curry does an excellent job of presenting viable tools designed to benefit all those caught in the web of bullying, her books suffers from stylistic flaws. It’s the dialogue. On the believability meter of “does this sound real?” it falls flat. Maybe it’s because her characters are representations of several individuals rolled into one and often it’s challenging to create dialogue that mirrors the world we work within. Regardless, what she has to say about these matters remains pertinent and her savvy advice, invaluable.
One of the more critical services she renders is identifying the bullying types trolling our business hallways. This is especially important as there’s not a “one-size-fits-all” solution to successfully maneuvering with these hostile individuals. Her categorization of these bullying broods quite colorfully snaps pictures of these easily detectable archetypes. Odds are, as you peruse these labels, you’ll recognize them immediately. Here they are: “The Angry Aggressive Jerk,” “The Scorched-Earth Fighter,” ”The Silent Grenade,” “The Shape Shifter,” “The Narcissist Manipulator,” “The Wounded Rhino: Malevolent and Powerful,” and “The Character Assassin.”
Once you determine the nature of your bully Curry offers insightful clues on how best to arrest their malignant behavior. The bottom line is to find ways to stand up to these bullies, whatever their brand. Sometimes that entails getting third party support, be it from a senior executive or HR team to help resolve the dilemma.
Curry encourages her readers to regain the upper hand by managing the situation rationally, not succumbing to the bully’s emotionally charged atmosphere. Pinpoint your strengths, and then rely upon them. Never let a bully’s demeaning comments enter your consciousness and drag you down. Curry reminds us constantly that bullies do not fight fair. That doesn’t mean you sink to their level, it’s just an admonishment to remain cognizant of the sort of individual you are striving to manage.
Toward the end of her book, in a single statement, Curry crystalizes the over-arching idea to guide her audience: “By setting goals and creating plans you have the opportunity to live your life by design rather than by default.” Clearly, this concept applies to challenges other than bullying. It is the key to success within the business world. And, perhaps that is Curry’s most salient contribution—treat bullying like any serious business threat and you’ll be well on your way to victory.
This review was originally published in the Anchorage Press on December 17, 2015 (less)
January 29, 2016
There is a very good chance that your workplace is quite a toxic, unpleasant environment. Bullying can be everywhere, both direct and indirect, coming not just from the management levels. It can leave a deep impact on the recipient and yet it is not always easy to take official action and get it stopped. First you have to admit there is a problem and then have the strength to try and fight it.
The author quotes from a 2014 survey in the United States that notes 65.7 million working Americans experience or witness abusive and bullying conduct at the workplace – itself a stunning figure – and quite shameful when you consider that bullying is one of those things most don’t talk about.
This book sets out to help, allowing someone who feels they are being bullied or victimised to perhaps try and take charge. At the very least it may help them realise they are not alone and that it is not personal or a fault of their own making. It might not be enough to stop the problem, yet it might just give enough breathing room to help find alternative employment. Although the potential is there to change the behaviour of the bully too. Central to this book is a range of assessments and exercises that the bullied can follow, backed up with a range of real-life examples to help show that others have gone through similar tribulations and survived!
Clearly if you have not been bullied it can be hard to comment on the efficacy of this book, although it appears to be quite sympathetic and potentially powerful. It did not display the sort of faux concern and “yes you can do it!” hype that many self-help books feature, which was a pleasant discovery. In any case, it can be quite possible that one book cannot suffice or provide a total solution, yet this one is competitively priced and may certainly help get the bullied on-track to hopefully resolving their concerns, even if they cannot totally fix the actual source’s bullying behaviour. To be fair, a fair bit of the advice on offer is U.S.-centric although this does not make the book less attractive to those in other countries. It just means you may need to investigate local laws, sources of support and the like. It is by no means a deal-breaker.
Hopefully you won’t need this book for yourself, yet reading it might arm you against future abuses. It can also help you help someone else who is being bullied or abused. It has the capability of being a help within one’s private life too. This book could be like house insurance – useful to have even though you hope never to need to claim on it.
The author quotes from a 2014 survey in the United States that notes 65.7 million working Americans experience or witness abusive and bullying conduct at the workplace – itself a stunning figure – and quite shameful when you consider that bullying is one of those things most don’t talk about.
This book sets out to help, allowing someone who feels they are being bullied or victimised to perhaps try and take charge. At the very least it may help them realise they are not alone and that it is not personal or a fault of their own making. It might not be enough to stop the problem, yet it might just give enough breathing room to help find alternative employment. Although the potential is there to change the behaviour of the bully too. Central to this book is a range of assessments and exercises that the bullied can follow, backed up with a range of real-life examples to help show that others have gone through similar tribulations and survived!
Clearly if you have not been bullied it can be hard to comment on the efficacy of this book, although it appears to be quite sympathetic and potentially powerful. It did not display the sort of faux concern and “yes you can do it!” hype that many self-help books feature, which was a pleasant discovery. In any case, it can be quite possible that one book cannot suffice or provide a total solution, yet this one is competitively priced and may certainly help get the bullied on-track to hopefully resolving their concerns, even if they cannot totally fix the actual source’s bullying behaviour. To be fair, a fair bit of the advice on offer is U.S.-centric although this does not make the book less attractive to those in other countries. It just means you may need to investigate local laws, sources of support and the like. It is by no means a deal-breaker.
Hopefully you won’t need this book for yourself, yet reading it might arm you against future abuses. It can also help you help someone else who is being bullied or abused. It has the capability of being a help within one’s private life too. This book could be like house insurance – useful to have even though you hope never to need to claim on it.
January 3, 2016
SUBJECT LINE: I wish this book had been around for my mom
I’ve never run into an office bully I couldn’t handle, but being the boss for the last 20 years certainly helped. However, I wish Lynne Curry’s book, “Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge,” had been around 50 years ago for my mother; for the afternoons she came home crying, sobbing her eyes out. It might have saved her years of misery.
When my mother landed her dream job in a government agency, working for a woman, she liked and respected, she was thrilled. Within a week, however, she was a miserable mess at the end of every work day.
I can still hear her sobs, carefully hidden from the family, of course, but not from a precocious pre-teen who was skilled at listening through vents. My sassy, beautiful, self-confident mother who did everything perfectly and whom everyone admired was beaten down by the office bully, a woman as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside.
It was frightening. Mom was a rock. But this woman reduced her to tears on a daily basis for something like seven years, hiding her true self from their boss, a woman much like I became — an adult who lived in her head and missed a great deal of what went on around her, expecting the best of everyone she knew.
Professionals such as my mom were reluctant to go ‘tattling’ to the boss, my dad explained, as he comforted his wife and tried to counsel her on how to handle the situation. But he didn’t have the skill set and experience of Dr. Curry, whose wisdom would have given my mother the tools to fight back.
If Dr. Curry’s book had existed back then, I would have given it to my mom. I hope others will do the same — for themselves and people they love. This one ugly bully brought years of pain to a strong and valiant woman who had just lost her brother and mother to painful deaths, and who was raising three children and running a flawless household. I’m sure Ms. Ugly was tormented in her own way and would have benefitted from Dr. Curry’s wise words. But to a kid, she was the monster who made my mother cry.
I’ve never run into an office bully I couldn’t handle, but being the boss for the last 20 years certainly helped. However, I wish Lynne Curry’s book, “Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge,” had been around 50 years ago for my mother; for the afternoons she came home crying, sobbing her eyes out. It might have saved her years of misery.
When my mother landed her dream job in a government agency, working for a woman, she liked and respected, she was thrilled. Within a week, however, she was a miserable mess at the end of every work day.
I can still hear her sobs, carefully hidden from the family, of course, but not from a precocious pre-teen who was skilled at listening through vents. My sassy, beautiful, self-confident mother who did everything perfectly and whom everyone admired was beaten down by the office bully, a woman as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside.
It was frightening. Mom was a rock. But this woman reduced her to tears on a daily basis for something like seven years, hiding her true self from their boss, a woman much like I became — an adult who lived in her head and missed a great deal of what went on around her, expecting the best of everyone she knew.
Professionals such as my mom were reluctant to go ‘tattling’ to the boss, my dad explained, as he comforted his wife and tried to counsel her on how to handle the situation. But he didn’t have the skill set and experience of Dr. Curry, whose wisdom would have given my mother the tools to fight back.
If Dr. Curry’s book had existed back then, I would have given it to my mom. I hope others will do the same — for themselves and people they love. This one ugly bully brought years of pain to a strong and valiant woman who had just lost her brother and mother to painful deaths, and who was raising three children and running a flawless household. I’m sure Ms. Ugly was tormented in her own way and would have benefitted from Dr. Curry’s wise words. But to a kid, she was the monster who made my mother cry.
January 11, 2016
If you’re stuck trying to cope with bad behavior in the workplace, this survival guide can really help you learn how to stand up to the bully and restore your self-confidence and dignity.
In her 37 years of training and coaching employers and employees, Lynne Curry has seen plenty of despicable behavior -- enough to fill a book. (She knows whereof she speaks: She says she married and divorced a bully.)
Each chapter offers examples of bullying based on cases she’s seen in her professional experience. She notes that each case is “a composite of two or three of the many targets and bullies I’ve coached merged into one story. I have changed the names and specific facts out of respect for those I’ve coached.”
The book is a personal training manual – it goes beyond explaining what to do; it is full of exercises designed to “teach you how to do it.” At the end of each chapter are prompts that help you apply the techniques and tactics she offers you. She offers a whole Home Depot full of tools for dealing with workplace bullies (or bullies anywhere else in your life) – from snappy comebacks to startle the bully, to breathing exercises, positive visioning, practicing confident posture, and learning “mental martial arts.”
The goal, she says, is to “create the you who won’t knuckle under” to the bully.
Curry also discusses effective ways to alert management about the damage the bully is inflicting. Unfortunately, workplace bullying per se isn’t against the law (except possibly some cases in California), but she notes that bullies often violate laws on discrimination, sexual harassment, or whistleblower protection, and she guides you on how to document your case. (Cautionary note: Curry doesn’t mention that in a few states, including California, you cannot legally record the audio of an interaction with a bully without the bully’s consent.)
I’ve never had to deal with a bully at work, but if one were making my life miserable, this book would really help me figure out effective ways to take charge of the situation and stand up for myself.
In her 37 years of training and coaching employers and employees, Lynne Curry has seen plenty of despicable behavior -- enough to fill a book. (She knows whereof she speaks: She says she married and divorced a bully.)
Each chapter offers examples of bullying based on cases she’s seen in her professional experience. She notes that each case is “a composite of two or three of the many targets and bullies I’ve coached merged into one story. I have changed the names and specific facts out of respect for those I’ve coached.”
The book is a personal training manual – it goes beyond explaining what to do; it is full of exercises designed to “teach you how to do it.” At the end of each chapter are prompts that help you apply the techniques and tactics she offers you. She offers a whole Home Depot full of tools for dealing with workplace bullies (or bullies anywhere else in your life) – from snappy comebacks to startle the bully, to breathing exercises, positive visioning, practicing confident posture, and learning “mental martial arts.”
The goal, she says, is to “create the you who won’t knuckle under” to the bully.
Curry also discusses effective ways to alert management about the damage the bully is inflicting. Unfortunately, workplace bullying per se isn’t against the law (except possibly some cases in California), but she notes that bullies often violate laws on discrimination, sexual harassment, or whistleblower protection, and she guides you on how to document your case. (Cautionary note: Curry doesn’t mention that in a few states, including California, you cannot legally record the audio of an interaction with a bully without the bully’s consent.)
I’ve never had to deal with a bully at work, but if one were making my life miserable, this book would really help me figure out effective ways to take charge of the situation and stand up for myself.
February 14, 2016
Fortunately not directly relevant for me; I thought it might be interesting in learning how to be productive in a group with strong personalities. However, it's directly focused on dealing with people who are deliberately undermining. The case studies are good, but the direct advice is a mixture of the actionable and the frustratingly vague. I came away knowing the first thing to say but with no idea what to do next if that went wrong.
July 20, 2020
Lynne Curry’s book is instructive, yes, but it is much more than this, it reads easily. Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge is engaging and shares stories of various workplace incidents where the bully takes the form of a manager or supervisor, a coworker, and a trusted individual, among many others.
Collectively, the sections in this book are well-written and highly informative. I can see this being a help to the individual reader and would work well as a resource for companies in their training programs.
Full review at https://bit.ly/39gDz2L
Collectively, the sections in this book are well-written and highly informative. I can see this being a help to the individual reader and would work well as a resource for companies in their training programs.
Full review at https://bit.ly/39gDz2L
January 15, 2016
If you haven’t encountered a workplace bully, you’ve been incredibly lucky. Or, more likely, you haven’t been working very long. In either case, be thankful you’re one of the few who haven’t had to suffer a bully’s manipulative and malicious behavior.
I worked for a bully for two years, 20 years ago, and my gut still knots up when I think about him. I remember the dread I felt every time I pulled into the employee lot and saw his Audi tucked into its parking space. Walking to the door, I would ask myself, “What will it be today? Another pointless assignment with ridiculous deadlines? A new wrongheaded and hurtful policy to implement? A browbeating for not solving a problem that never existed?”
The staff had a nickname for him. They called him “El Loco.”
I thought about El Loco this week as I was reading a new book, “Beating the Workplace Bully,” by Lynne Curry. I’ve known Lynne for decades, both as one of her coaching clients and as her editor. After reading her book, I realize now, I should have gone to her for help with my bully. At the time, I didn’t understand what was happening or why, or have a clue what to do about it.
Now I do, after reading the book.
Advertisement
Lynne is well equipped to help the victims of workplace bullies. She has a doctorate in social psychology and is a certified Senior Professional in Human Resources. She founded and runs Alaska’s largest management and HR consulting firm, with 3,500 clients in 14 states and five countries. More personally, she acknowledges that she herself was the victim of a bullying relationship.
As more and more desperate victims of bullying bosses, co-workers or even subordinates came to her for help, she developed a series of strategies for her clients. She saw that most bullied employees found very little relief from either their employers or the law. And her clients reported back that her approaches worked.
That led to the idea of a book that would catalogue the types and styles of bullying, tactics for coping with discrete types of bullies, and exercises for victims to make the mental adjustments to become less inviting targets. She also offers advice to workers who see bullying but aren’t sure what they can or should do to stop it.
She defines three types of bullying in the workplace:
-- Verbal bullying, meaning slander, ridicule, name calling, offensive remarks,
-- Physical bullying, like pushing, kicking, obscene gestures, threat of assault, and
-- Situational bullying, through sabotage, interference or acts of humiliation
She describes the characteristics, behavior and vulnerabilities of seven workplace bully types: the Angry Aggressive Jerk, the Scorched Earth Fighter, the Silent Grenade, the Shape-Shifter, the Narcissist Manipulator, the Character Assassin and the Wounded Rhino.
Most people who have spent much time in an office of any size will recognize at least some of these types. If you recognize all of them, you have my sympathy. Lynne explains that people bully for all kinds of reasons: because they grew up with bullying, as a way coping with feelings of inadequacy, as a strategy for job security and advancement, and more. She says bullies rarely stopped bullying; they just find other victims.
The book combines readable, anecdotal accounts of real-life situations — “case studies” — with social psychology research about the behavior of both victims and bullies, especially as seen in the workplace, followed by step-by-step coaching on how to either side-step, minimize or defeat the bullying behavior.
She reviews the physiology of human stress reactions and explains how victims of bullying can get control of their reactions, using visualization to help them to listen and respond effectively to attacks that otherwise might stun or intimidate them into shamed silence.
She addresses relatively new but increasingly problematic cyberbullying (which is not confined to school kids), and concludes with a quick review of the law, as it does and doesn’t apply to bullying. (I learned, for example, that California is the only state that specifically outlaws bullying in the workplace.)
When I sat down with “Beating,” I assumed it was a book of relevance only to current victims of workplace bullying. But after finishing it, I see a broader value. Everyone who has a job or is planning to get one ought to read it. It will prepare them to recognize bullying for what it is and give them the tools to address it, whether they’re the victims or simply find themselves on the sidelines of a bullying incident.
Maybe I’ll send a signed copy to El Loco.
Patrick Dougherty is the former editor of the Anchorage Daily News.
I worked for a bully for two years, 20 years ago, and my gut still knots up when I think about him. I remember the dread I felt every time I pulled into the employee lot and saw his Audi tucked into its parking space. Walking to the door, I would ask myself, “What will it be today? Another pointless assignment with ridiculous deadlines? A new wrongheaded and hurtful policy to implement? A browbeating for not solving a problem that never existed?”
The staff had a nickname for him. They called him “El Loco.”
I thought about El Loco this week as I was reading a new book, “Beating the Workplace Bully,” by Lynne Curry. I’ve known Lynne for decades, both as one of her coaching clients and as her editor. After reading her book, I realize now, I should have gone to her for help with my bully. At the time, I didn’t understand what was happening or why, or have a clue what to do about it.
Now I do, after reading the book.
Advertisement
Lynne is well equipped to help the victims of workplace bullies. She has a doctorate in social psychology and is a certified Senior Professional in Human Resources. She founded and runs Alaska’s largest management and HR consulting firm, with 3,500 clients in 14 states and five countries. More personally, she acknowledges that she herself was the victim of a bullying relationship.
As more and more desperate victims of bullying bosses, co-workers or even subordinates came to her for help, she developed a series of strategies for her clients. She saw that most bullied employees found very little relief from either their employers or the law. And her clients reported back that her approaches worked.
That led to the idea of a book that would catalogue the types and styles of bullying, tactics for coping with discrete types of bullies, and exercises for victims to make the mental adjustments to become less inviting targets. She also offers advice to workers who see bullying but aren’t sure what they can or should do to stop it.
She defines three types of bullying in the workplace:
-- Verbal bullying, meaning slander, ridicule, name calling, offensive remarks,
-- Physical bullying, like pushing, kicking, obscene gestures, threat of assault, and
-- Situational bullying, through sabotage, interference or acts of humiliation
She describes the characteristics, behavior and vulnerabilities of seven workplace bully types: the Angry Aggressive Jerk, the Scorched Earth Fighter, the Silent Grenade, the Shape-Shifter, the Narcissist Manipulator, the Character Assassin and the Wounded Rhino.
Most people who have spent much time in an office of any size will recognize at least some of these types. If you recognize all of them, you have my sympathy. Lynne explains that people bully for all kinds of reasons: because they grew up with bullying, as a way coping with feelings of inadequacy, as a strategy for job security and advancement, and more. She says bullies rarely stopped bullying; they just find other victims.
The book combines readable, anecdotal accounts of real-life situations — “case studies” — with social psychology research about the behavior of both victims and bullies, especially as seen in the workplace, followed by step-by-step coaching on how to either side-step, minimize or defeat the bullying behavior.
She reviews the physiology of human stress reactions and explains how victims of bullying can get control of their reactions, using visualization to help them to listen and respond effectively to attacks that otherwise might stun or intimidate them into shamed silence.
She addresses relatively new but increasingly problematic cyberbullying (which is not confined to school kids), and concludes with a quick review of the law, as it does and doesn’t apply to bullying. (I learned, for example, that California is the only state that specifically outlaws bullying in the workplace.)
When I sat down with “Beating,” I assumed it was a book of relevance only to current victims of workplace bullying. But after finishing it, I see a broader value. Everyone who has a job or is planning to get one ought to read it. It will prepare them to recognize bullying for what it is and give them the tools to address it, whether they’re the victims or simply find themselves on the sidelines of a bullying incident.
Maybe I’ll send a signed copy to El Loco.
Patrick Dougherty is the former editor of the Anchorage Daily News.
March 2, 2016
Lynne Curry could have called her book "Navigating the Workplace Battlefield." Instead it's dubbed "Beating the Workplace Bully: A Tactical Guide to Taking Charge." Regardless, its detailed anecdotes across a wide spectrum of problems that God knows we've all faced in the workplace — or life — present a grim assessment of what it's like to be a grown up. There's Molly, the head nurse at a medical practice, who discovers in new hire Pauline evil incarnate. Pauline's the new manager who upends everything Molly has done and flusters her so much Molly retires 10 months early. There's Mike, the silent grenade, ready to blow and send shrapnel into whomever irritates him that particular moment. There's Geoff, the passive-aggressive dirtbag who declares war on the co-worker who got the promotion he wanted. There's the cyberbully who posts false but anonymously incriminating and rather vile lies about the new hire, just because. Curry is the master of the relatable anecdote. She said the names in her books and situations are nonspecific, mostly compilations of stories grouped from her work as a management consultant (but way more than that) at the Growth Company Inc. "They and everybody else are collages of people I've worked with over the years," she said in a recent phone conversation. She's also a columnist, which is how I met her so many years ago, and all-around super cool person. What she does in her book, in easy-to-digest language no less, is outline terrible situations that seem to fester in one guise or another in every office, job site or electronically interconnected workplace. And — at least at the start — the picture she paints is grim. Some of the images she conjured reminded me of a boss who did in fact scream at me for something she told me to do and insisted that I lie to the federal government. Seriously. I wanted to head butt her. But I bit my tongue. Curry says, according to the advice laid out step by step in her book, I did the right thing. Choose your battles, and one of those is handling your own anger, she says. Better to channel that outrage to better effect. Is her advice earth shattering? In the proper situation, hell yes. But Curry is extremely practical. She's addressed so many problems and obviously learned to steer through the workplace battlefield and its constant shelling, small arms fire, roadside bombs and craters that her answers appear ridiculously simple. My wife would say common sense. But her approach to dealing with situations is measured, calculating and careful. Don't forget to document. And she repeats her points in a totally entertaining way so the lessons sink in. I remember some teacher telling me to count to 10 when I got mad. It worked for me. I used to be the new kid at schools, all the time. I had bright red hair and apparently a sign that said kick me. Physically fighting back did no good. (Sometimes it did get respect but usually alone time with the principal.) Curry's got the good kind of advice. I wager her book should be on the same reading list as Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People," a similarly short and easy-to-digest workplace navigation tool that basically says, "Put yourself in the other guy's shoes." I remember reading that at 27 while going through a bout of serious depression (cancer treatment has that effect), and it turned off the gloom. Curry's book packed a similar wallop. Like I mentioned, the first part is a bit of a downer. Curry is presenting problems. And anybody who listens to problems sometimes takes them to heart. Maybe it's just me. Dammit Scottie! I want a solution! Now. But Curry, like the chief engineer on the USS Enterprise, is going as fast as she can. She rounds back on every anecdote. I must say, I needed the closure. But she also provides a detailed analysis of how to punch that jerk figuratively in the face. And, oh yes, eliminating the problem is so rewarding. No violence, of course. Curry's solutions are even better. They're still putting a smile on my face.
December 20, 2015
Dr. Lynn Curry and I share a passion to work to try to solve and inform others about the issue of bullying. I have been focused mainly on the long-term damage that youth bullying causes, but Lynn looks at the very true and interesting issue of workplace bullying. This issue is gaining more traction every day as people start to refuse to accept being bullied at work. Of course the problem with workplace bullying is that it can destroy not only your self-esteem, but your way to make a living.
Dr. Curry’s book “Beating the Workplace Bully” is much more than just another self-help book. Lynn shares her experience and stories of many of the types of workplace bullying that her past clients and others have had to deal with. I certainly understand some of her stories as they resonate with issues that I have also dealt with at work.
As shared in the forward of the book, “The Workplace Bullying Institute’s 2014 U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey documents that 65.7 million working Americans either experience or witness abusive conduct during their workday. Despite this, bullying remains a “we don’t talk about that” topic, making it the “silent epidemic.”
Much like youth bullying was seen as “kids being kids” and is changing to be seen as abuse, so does the workplace bullying issue. In the book, Dr. Curry shares so many stories and also ways to handle the issues with realistic solutions. It is truly like having a therapist in your hands to help you through these tough times.
The reader is asked to analyze themselves as well. In one of my favorite points, Dr. Curry asks us to read a phrase. “We see what we expect to see. Next read this phrase aloud with its words jammed together: Opportunity isnowhere. How did you read it? Opportunity is nowhere or opportunity is now here?”
The book not only shares solutions to workplace bullying issues, but asks the reader to confront their thinking and analyze situations and the way they approach them.
I read a lot of self-help books. In many they are what I call “tell” books, that try to tell you what to do. Rarer is a self-help book that has a compassionate writer, who understands that we are going through a tough situation and works to not only help us understand the issue, but also how we can help change our situation and make ourselves feel better. Lynn Curry does exactly that, making the reading not only educational, but helpful. If you are experiencing or a witness to workplace bullying, this book is a must read!
Dr. Curry’s book “Beating the Workplace Bully” is much more than just another self-help book. Lynn shares her experience and stories of many of the types of workplace bullying that her past clients and others have had to deal with. I certainly understand some of her stories as they resonate with issues that I have also dealt with at work.
As shared in the forward of the book, “The Workplace Bullying Institute’s 2014 U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey documents that 65.7 million working Americans either experience or witness abusive conduct during their workday. Despite this, bullying remains a “we don’t talk about that” topic, making it the “silent epidemic.”
Much like youth bullying was seen as “kids being kids” and is changing to be seen as abuse, so does the workplace bullying issue. In the book, Dr. Curry shares so many stories and also ways to handle the issues with realistic solutions. It is truly like having a therapist in your hands to help you through these tough times.
The reader is asked to analyze themselves as well. In one of my favorite points, Dr. Curry asks us to read a phrase. “We see what we expect to see. Next read this phrase aloud with its words jammed together: Opportunity isnowhere. How did you read it? Opportunity is nowhere or opportunity is now here?”
The book not only shares solutions to workplace bullying issues, but asks the reader to confront their thinking and analyze situations and the way they approach them.
I read a lot of self-help books. In many they are what I call “tell” books, that try to tell you what to do. Rarer is a self-help book that has a compassionate writer, who understands that we are going through a tough situation and works to not only help us understand the issue, but also how we can help change our situation and make ourselves feel better. Lynn Curry does exactly that, making the reading not only educational, but helpful. If you are experiencing or a witness to workplace bullying, this book is a must read!
January 4, 2016
I'm going to quote from David Fox's review in the Anchorage Press. "Curry has fashioned a solid, how-to manual that succinctly, via anecdotal stories, illustrates how bullies wreak havoc in all of the organizations they work within. She peppers her expose ... with real life examples. By confiding her own personal experience with bullying, her readers feels confident they are getting sage advice from someone who has confronted bullying directly and learned how to grapple with it. She introduces us to composite characters, inspired by real people ensnared in real life trams. We witness firsthand bullying encounters and how these players deal with the quandary. ...
One of the more critical services she renders is identifying the bullying types trolling our business hallways. ...Her categorization of these bullyin broods quite colorfully snaps pictures of these easily detectable archetypes. Odds are, as you peruse these lables, you'll recognize them immediately. Here they are: "The Angry, Aggressive Jerk," "The Scorched-Earth Fighter," the Silent Grenade," "The Shape Shifter," "The Narcissist Manipulator," "The Wounded Rhino: Malevolent and Powerful," and the "Character Assassin." Once you determine the nature of your bully, Curry offers insightful clues on how best to arrest their malignant behavior."...
One of the more critical services she renders is identifying the bullying types trolling our business hallways. ...Her categorization of these bullyin broods quite colorfully snaps pictures of these easily detectable archetypes. Odds are, as you peruse these lables, you'll recognize them immediately. Here they are: "The Angry, Aggressive Jerk," "The Scorched-Earth Fighter," the Silent Grenade," "The Shape Shifter," "The Narcissist Manipulator," "The Wounded Rhino: Malevolent and Powerful," and the "Character Assassin." Once you determine the nature of your bully, Curry offers insightful clues on how best to arrest their malignant behavior."...
June 8, 2016
This is a fascinating take on the phenomenon of workplace bullying, as well as on how to deal with it if you’re the target.
I’m out of the workplace now, so I read it more from curiosity than from any need to use it for self-defense. But what the author has to say made so much sense, I ended up wishing it had been around when I did have a day job.
I’m not sure I was ever bullied at work, but I did have bosses and co-workers so aggressive, defensive, insecure, and/or just plain nuts that I found myself working around them rather than bother with the effort of trying to work with them. The techniques in this book, it strikes me, would be useful in handling almost any of the extreme personalities one encounters in life, in or out of the workplace.
Curry’s approach--a mixture of anecdote, psychology for the layperson, and self-help tips--makes the subject not only interesting and digestible, but even kind of fun. For example, she nicknames the different types of bullies: the Narcissist, the Rhino, the Shape-Shifting Mr. Hyde, the Scorched-Earth Fighter, and so on.
Definitely worth a read if you’re being bullied, know someone who is, know someone who does it, or just want a better understanding of the dark side of some of the dynamics of the modern workplace.
I’m out of the workplace now, so I read it more from curiosity than from any need to use it for self-defense. But what the author has to say made so much sense, I ended up wishing it had been around when I did have a day job.
I’m not sure I was ever bullied at work, but I did have bosses and co-workers so aggressive, defensive, insecure, and/or just plain nuts that I found myself working around them rather than bother with the effort of trying to work with them. The techniques in this book, it strikes me, would be useful in handling almost any of the extreme personalities one encounters in life, in or out of the workplace.
Curry’s approach--a mixture of anecdote, psychology for the layperson, and self-help tips--makes the subject not only interesting and digestible, but even kind of fun. For example, she nicknames the different types of bullies: the Narcissist, the Rhino, the Shape-Shifting Mr. Hyde, the Scorched-Earth Fighter, and so on.
Definitely worth a read if you’re being bullied, know someone who is, know someone who does it, or just want a better understanding of the dark side of some of the dynamics of the modern workplace.
December 2, 2020
This advice book is geared clearly towards those with delicate feelings and feeble appearance who operate in a work environment that is the equivalent of a high school hallway between periods. People who are competent in their field, self-confident, and mentally tough are not going to get much out of this book.
The most irritating part of this book are the countless "examples" that are stripped of so much detail that they appear to be completely fictitious. Most of them oddly emphasize the physical size and masculinity of the "bully" while completely omitting other crucial details like occupations. These stories eventually get to be like a Chicago deep dish pizza - just too cheesy to tolerate.
Half of the strategies presented are simple things you should have learned growing up as part of being a social creature operating around the mentally immature people of your youth. The other half points out legal routes you can take if your bully goes so far as to insult your "fat black ass" or other violations protected by law. If you don't already have a cursory knowledge of the legal protections you have as an employee, this part might be helpful.
The most irritating part of this book are the countless "examples" that are stripped of so much detail that they appear to be completely fictitious. Most of them oddly emphasize the physical size and masculinity of the "bully" while completely omitting other crucial details like occupations. These stories eventually get to be like a Chicago deep dish pizza - just too cheesy to tolerate.
Half of the strategies presented are simple things you should have learned growing up as part of being a social creature operating around the mentally immature people of your youth. The other half points out legal routes you can take if your bully goes so far as to insult your "fat black ass" or other violations protected by law. If you don't already have a cursory knowledge of the legal protections you have as an employee, this part might be helpful.
March 2, 2016
Even though I'd decided to quit my job by the time I bought this book, it's been an invaluable and uplifting read, and one that I'm positive will help me in similar situations in the future. The most difficult part, for me, was trying to understand why a bully behaved the way he/she did and what made one go all out to destroy a fellow human being. Dr Curry's book cleared up all confusion for me with her non-patronizing and unsympathetic view towards workplace bullies, and she calls them for what they are: disturbed and mean-spirited individuals we must stand up to. This volume is peppered with interesting real-life case studies and anecdotes, and supplemented by helpful exercises at the end of each chapter. All in all, a sobering but absolutely necessary read.
December 18, 2015
This book was written for anyone who has ever faced bully behavior or in the work or personal environment. Lynne Curry is a rare author in that she combines an engaging story-telling ability with deep expertise in her areas of coaching and consulting. Her book gives you access to in-depth help, with great illustrations, practical suggestions, and action plans to equip you to tackle bully behavior successfully. Whether you are an employee, a manager, an executive or a business owner, or just someone who has been bullied one too many times, this book is for you. Bully-proof yourself with Lynne's help!
February 14, 2016
Lynne Curry’s Beating the Workplace Bully is a personal training guide for dealing with the crazy-maker in your work life. The book includes tactics for avoiding being a target in the first place, discusses a number of different types of bullies, and gives pragmatic advice on how to eliminate a bully’s power over you. Anecdotes drawn from real-life situations help illustrate Curry’s major points. Victims of workplace bullying will find this book a compelling read and a useful guide.
May 15, 2016
I'm in awe of the clarity and practicality of the advice and insights providee by Dr Curry in this text. As an organisational social psychology expert within Australian government organisation contexts, I fully recommend this book for anyone dealing with negative, or observing, workplace behaviours.
January 30, 2017
Drawing upon her experience as a workplace coach as well as past experience as a target, Curry identifies seven workplace bully types, their motivations and mindset. She also addresses strategies for dealing with each bully type. Complete review at http://cynthiaparkhill.blogspot.com/2...
December 22, 2015
I didn't know psychology could be so entertaining! It is a delightful read based on actual accounts making it both real and practical feel. It is a must read for HR generalists and for those persons who suffer bullies in the workplace.
September 20, 2023
I wish I had had Lynne Curry's book, "Beating The Workplace Bully," 5 years ago. It would have helped me navigate a workplace bullying situation. Her book offers valuable insights, practical advice, and effective strategies to combat workplace bullying and create a healthier work environment for targets of bullying, and leaders wanting to establish a bully-free work environment. With her extensive experience as an organizational consultant, Curry provides readers with a comprehensive guide to understand, confront, and overcome workplace bullying.
The book and each chapter begins with workplace bullying examples from companies and individuals she’s helped. Whether it's a case of verbal harassment, exclusion, or subtle manipulation, Curry provides numerous real-life scenarios that readers can relate to. By presenting these examples, she not only raises awareness about the different forms of workplace bullying but also helps readers recognize the behaviors in their own experiences. The inclusion of these diverse and relatable examples adds depth and credibility to the book, making it easier for readers to understand and identify workplace bullying in their own lives.
One of the key strengths of "Beating The Workplace Bully" is its focus on self-empowerment. Curry encourages targets of bullying to recognize their own worth and develop resilience. She provides practical strategies to build self-confidence, assertiveness, and emotional intelligence, empowering individuals to stand up against bullying behavior and establish personal boundaries.
Lynne highlights the importance of creating a culture of accountability starting with key reasons why leaders overlook bullying and what can be done organizationally by both leadership and human resource departments to counteract bullying. By exploring the systemic factors that contribute to bullying and providing guidance on how organizations can implement policies and procedures to prevent and address it, Curry offers a holistic approach to tackle the issue.
Curry uses clear language, avoids excessive jargon, and breaks down complex concepts into easily digestible sections. Each chapter is well-structured and offers practical exercises and reflection questions to encourage readers to apply the knowledge gained to their own situation. These questions encourage readers to reflect on their personal experiences, emotions, and reactions, fostering a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play. By guiding readers through a process of self-reflection, Curry enables them to identify patterns, assess the impact of bullying, and consider alternative ways to respond. The thought-provoking questions serve as valuable tools for self-discovery and personal growth, empowering readers to take ownership of their situations and make informed decisions regarding their next steps. They encourage readers to delve into their own experiences and connect with the content on a more personal level, making the book not just a source of information but also a practical guide for self-improvement.
In conclusion, "Beating The Workplace Bully" is a highly informative and empowering book that equips individuals with the necessary tools to confront and overcome workplace bullying. Lynne Curry's expertise shines through as she presents a comprehensive guide that combines personal anecdotes, practical strategies, and organizational insights. This book is a valuable resource for anyone who has experienced workplace bullying or wishes to create a healthier and more respectful work environment. By addressing the issue head-on, "Beating The Workplace Bully" provides hope and guidance for those affected by workplace bullying and serves as a catalyst for positive change.
The book and each chapter begins with workplace bullying examples from companies and individuals she’s helped. Whether it's a case of verbal harassment, exclusion, or subtle manipulation, Curry provides numerous real-life scenarios that readers can relate to. By presenting these examples, she not only raises awareness about the different forms of workplace bullying but also helps readers recognize the behaviors in their own experiences. The inclusion of these diverse and relatable examples adds depth and credibility to the book, making it easier for readers to understand and identify workplace bullying in their own lives.
One of the key strengths of "Beating The Workplace Bully" is its focus on self-empowerment. Curry encourages targets of bullying to recognize their own worth and develop resilience. She provides practical strategies to build self-confidence, assertiveness, and emotional intelligence, empowering individuals to stand up against bullying behavior and establish personal boundaries.
Lynne highlights the importance of creating a culture of accountability starting with key reasons why leaders overlook bullying and what can be done organizationally by both leadership and human resource departments to counteract bullying. By exploring the systemic factors that contribute to bullying and providing guidance on how organizations can implement policies and procedures to prevent and address it, Curry offers a holistic approach to tackle the issue.
Curry uses clear language, avoids excessive jargon, and breaks down complex concepts into easily digestible sections. Each chapter is well-structured and offers practical exercises and reflection questions to encourage readers to apply the knowledge gained to their own situation. These questions encourage readers to reflect on their personal experiences, emotions, and reactions, fostering a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play. By guiding readers through a process of self-reflection, Curry enables them to identify patterns, assess the impact of bullying, and consider alternative ways to respond. The thought-provoking questions serve as valuable tools for self-discovery and personal growth, empowering readers to take ownership of their situations and make informed decisions regarding their next steps. They encourage readers to delve into their own experiences and connect with the content on a more personal level, making the book not just a source of information but also a practical guide for self-improvement.
In conclusion, "Beating The Workplace Bully" is a highly informative and empowering book that equips individuals with the necessary tools to confront and overcome workplace bullying. Lynne Curry's expertise shines through as she presents a comprehensive guide that combines personal anecdotes, practical strategies, and organizational insights. This book is a valuable resource for anyone who has experienced workplace bullying or wishes to create a healthier and more respectful work environment. By addressing the issue head-on, "Beating The Workplace Bully" provides hope and guidance for those affected by workplace bullying and serves as a catalyst for positive change.
November 15, 2023
Decent book but only highlights bullies who are loud and aggressive. There is very little mention of the bullies who are passive-aggressive or manipulative. I feel like those types are more common and they are able to fly under the radar because on the outside, for all intents and purposes, they seem normal and healthy. I don't have a loud bully in my workplace, so this book was very little help to me.
Want to read
March 28, 2020This author knows what she's talking about. If you find yourself forced to interact with a bully, arm yourself first with what's in these pages. The go into battle prepared. Curry's writing is lively and obviously based on authentic experience and knowledge. I'm looking forward to her soon to be released novel, "Love.com".
April 6, 2022
Definitely not the book for me. The victims were always very meek Individuals, small of stature. There are other types of victims. The descriptions of the people in the fake scenarios were overly descriptive and played to racial stereotypes - why does matter that Adam an Asian American man was drinking tea? Ugh - cringeworthy.
December 6, 2023
A solid and practical guide. The case studies didn't directly map onto my experiences with a passive aggressive coworker. However, having spent the better part of a year trying to resolve the situation (to a resounding silence), I found the last couple of chapters on handling my own anger and my "accommodator" conflict style instructive.
April 6, 2018
Affirming to realise I am being bullied. Empowering to know only I can change that. And encouraging to learn some tools to help me break through the bullshit.
Loved the stories in this book!
Loved the stories in this book!
March 25, 2019
Liked this book. Full of actionable advice.
Well written and full of good advice. Great information about the types of bullying and some solutions. Very practical examples.
Well written and full of good advice. Great information about the types of bullying and some solutions. Very practical examples.
February 17, 2020
Boring, various lists, when all can be said in a few sentences.
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