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Jumping Ship: What to do so your children don't jump ship to the world when they get older
There is a troubling trend that is rising in Christian Families Their children are discontent and rebellious, jumping ship as soon as they can survive without the family, some as young as 16 years old. Parents are crying, Where did we go wrong? What can we do to prevent this from happening to the rest of our children? These answers and more are covered in the book.
112 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2007
8 people are currently reading
73 people want to read
About the author
Michael Pearl
126 books50 followersMichael and Debi Pearl were both raised in Memphis, Tennessee, in good homes, by parents who were faithful to point them to God. Mike, a graduate of Mid-South Bible College in Memphis (now Victory University), has been active in evangelism and the work of the ministry since he was a teenager. He worked with Union Mission in Memphis for 25 years, while he and Debi also ministered to the many military families in Memphis and pastored churches. They moved to rural Tennessee where they continued in the work by holding Bible studies in local homes, which eventually led to regular meetings of the local body of believers, and by starting the prison ministry. God eventually led them into the ministry of writing on child training and family relationships, which they now feel is their life’s work and calling. In addition to the child training ministry, the work of the prison ministry, missions, Bible studies, and family life is still ongoing. The Pearls have been married since 1971, and have 5 children and 18 grandchildren. The Pearl children have always been involved in their parents’ ministry, and in their adulthood continue to be involved in some way in ministering where they are.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 30, 2018
My first impression of this book was that the author is off-putting with his preachy and self-righteous tone. I did not care for his writing style. But as I tried to see past that, I realized that his ideas are sound and worth considering. What I appreciated most was his thesis that we are basically marketing the Christian lifestyle to our children. We need to show them how appealing it is, so that they can see the benefits and excitement in a life of service and godliness.
Here are a few of my favorite ideas from this book:
Tend your marriage so it becomes an example of what young people can look forward to. Offer your marriage as an example of the reward that young people are striving toward.
Create an enviable life, a life of purpose and passion.
Teenagers are attracted to attractive people. They want passion and romance. Girls want security with their passion. Boys want challenge and adventure with their passion.
Ask them to write down 5 things that mom and dad could do to make the home life better.
Ask them what do you like most / least about our home? What would you change if you could?
Work with young people. Keep them on the edge of experience, always learning something new.
Seek to be the most thrilling source of entertainment for your kids. Be with them in their play, making it more exciting.
If a boy is engaged in hard work and hard play, he will expend much of his testosterone in that way.
Set up a volleyball net. It’s a wholesome way for boys and girls to interact, a sport that both sexes can play.
Give them plenty of opportunity so socialize with the opposite sex in wholesome ways. This gives them something to look forward to and keep themselves pure for. The ideal of a girl worth having is motivating to a boy.
Give kids all the responsibility they can handle and then step back and let them try.
Trust is a powerful incentive. Create an atmosphere that allows a child who makes a mistake to admit it and take responsibility without recrimination. He can then use his energies to make improvements instead of falling into the self-defeating trap of excuse-making. Provide a setting in which they can start fresh.
Let the older child take responsibility for the younger child, even disciplining as needed when parents are away. Responsibility will bring out the better nature.
Feed their creativity. Experiment with different things until something sticks. It is better to be interested in something frivolous than in nothing at all.
Your kids must be growing or they will go somewhere else where there is growth and challenge.
Enthusiasm for a project feels good and they will want to be a part of it.
The home is a construction site and any construction site generates a lot of noise, dust, clutter, and garbage. Expect a home where children are growing up well to be full of noise and messes. It is the cost of progress.
No one ever climbed out from under a pile of disapproval to win the favor of his or her accuser.
Here are a few of my favorite ideas from this book:
Tend your marriage so it becomes an example of what young people can look forward to. Offer your marriage as an example of the reward that young people are striving toward.
Create an enviable life, a life of purpose and passion.
Teenagers are attracted to attractive people. They want passion and romance. Girls want security with their passion. Boys want challenge and adventure with their passion.
Ask them to write down 5 things that mom and dad could do to make the home life better.
Ask them what do you like most / least about our home? What would you change if you could?
Work with young people. Keep them on the edge of experience, always learning something new.
Seek to be the most thrilling source of entertainment for your kids. Be with them in their play, making it more exciting.
If a boy is engaged in hard work and hard play, he will expend much of his testosterone in that way.
Set up a volleyball net. It’s a wholesome way for boys and girls to interact, a sport that both sexes can play.
Give them plenty of opportunity so socialize with the opposite sex in wholesome ways. This gives them something to look forward to and keep themselves pure for. The ideal of a girl worth having is motivating to a boy.
Give kids all the responsibility they can handle and then step back and let them try.
Trust is a powerful incentive. Create an atmosphere that allows a child who makes a mistake to admit it and take responsibility without recrimination. He can then use his energies to make improvements instead of falling into the self-defeating trap of excuse-making. Provide a setting in which they can start fresh.
Let the older child take responsibility for the younger child, even disciplining as needed when parents are away. Responsibility will bring out the better nature.
Feed their creativity. Experiment with different things until something sticks. It is better to be interested in something frivolous than in nothing at all.
Your kids must be growing or they will go somewhere else where there is growth and challenge.
Enthusiasm for a project feels good and they will want to be a part of it.
The home is a construction site and any construction site generates a lot of noise, dust, clutter, and garbage. Expect a home where children are growing up well to be full of noise and messes. It is the cost of progress.
No one ever climbed out from under a pile of disapproval to win the favor of his or her accuser.
January 17, 2019
Received this for Christmas. I've wanted to read it since I was first introduced to No Greater Joy books...krb 1/5/19
Quick easy read but better to read 1 chapter at a time and give yourself time to reflect. So glad I read this book. Saw some things I need to talk with the kids now and we had great conversations about what to do if......krb 1/17/19
Quick easy read but better to read 1 chapter at a time and give yourself time to reflect. So glad I read this book. Saw some things I need to talk with the kids now and we had great conversations about what to do if......krb 1/17/19
October 3, 2008
update on 10/3/08
Well , I have finished this book and I feel hesitant to give a straight "Yes" I liked it.
It definitely had wonderful information on having the heart of your children and what to do if you have messed up and have a prodigal child. It looked at the heart and intentions of a parent-child relationship that I though was very accurate. I think the bottom line of this book is speaking against hypocrisy in parenting . You can not feel one thing in your heart , or have disrespect to your own authority figures , or have any hypocrisy in your own life and expect your children to believe you. The author says your child knows you better then yourself, and you have to be 100% sincere . Over all I did like the message.
Now for what I didn't like.
One part of this book is how you can prepare your children for the world. It says how you can't save them from the ugly and evil things. You just have to prepare them for WHEN not If they come in contact with it. This book did discus sin and consequences , Immorality , Purity in marriage , sex and pornography .
For this reason only parents or mature young adults should read this.
Well , I have finished this book and I feel hesitant to give a straight "Yes" I liked it.
It definitely had wonderful information on having the heart of your children and what to do if you have messed up and have a prodigal child. It looked at the heart and intentions of a parent-child relationship that I though was very accurate. I think the bottom line of this book is speaking against hypocrisy in parenting . You can not feel one thing in your heart , or have disrespect to your own authority figures , or have any hypocrisy in your own life and expect your children to believe you. The author says your child knows you better then yourself, and you have to be 100% sincere . Over all I did like the message.
Now for what I didn't like.
One part of this book is how you can prepare your children for the world. It says how you can't save them from the ugly and evil things. You just have to prepare them for WHEN not If they come in contact with it. This book did discus sin and consequences , Immorality , Purity in marriage , sex and pornography .
For this reason only parents or mature young adults should read this.
September 9, 2012
If we could do half stars, I'd give this book about a 3.5 rating. There was some good information with some really good things to think about in parenting your children, and I think it would be beneficial for every Christian (home-schooling or not) parent to read.
February 20, 2022
3.5 rating There are troubling aspects about the Pearl, but the information presented in this book is worth considering. Many parents think that shielding their children and taking them to church every week will prevent them jumping ship. It's more than just marketing the Christian lifestyle to our young people. We need to show them how appealing it is and prepare them for when (not if) they will face issues such as pornography.
Another helpful suggestion is to ask them to write down 5 things that mom and dad could do to make the home life better. Ask them what to you like most / least about our home? What would you change if you could?
Another helpful suggestion is to ask them to write down 5 things that mom and dad could do to make the home life better. Ask them what to you like most / least about our home? What would you change if you could?
January 27, 2019
My girlfriend passed this book along to me and I’m glad I read it, because I don’t think I would have gotten it otherwise. Initially the authors writing was a bit too aggressive for me but I am thankful I kept reading as there is much to learn from this little book. My biggest take always were to prepare my children for what happens WHEN they encounter things such as pornography, not IF, and to set up consistent social activities as families for your teenagers. I liked the analogy of your family as a ship.
January 20, 2020
An amazing book for how to raise kids, how to interact and how to ensure they don't jump the ship (the family). It's hard hitting and give's the parent no place to hide.
October 25, 2020
Great book. Very thought provoking. I read this book twice.
December 18, 2022
Un buen final de año
Libro obligado para todos los padres cristianos
Radical y controversial
Sin anestesia y al corazón
Un excelente recurso
Muy recomendable
Libro obligado para todos los padres cristianos
Radical y controversial
Sin anestesia y al corazón
Un excelente recurso
Muy recomendable
August 1, 2012
I LOVED this book! You have to think about who you are as a Christian. Are you a hypocrite? Do you speak negatively of others? Do you say one thing and then do another? If you want your children to have your heart and soul, then you have to have a pure heart and soul. You have to find JOY in your daily work and relationships (AND INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN) as they lead you closer to Christ. You can't force your children. You can only say, "Come follow me," and be a desirable leader. Following the commandments makes you a beautiful person. Judging others does NOT.
I like how he points out that THERE ARE NO SECOND GENERATION CHRISTIANS. We have to show our children that we are trying, we are humble, we ask forgiveness, then we try again. We become perfect in Christ.
He addresses the differences between girls and boys and how they are little moms and dads and spouses in training.
The only thing I DID NOT like is that his book could come across as a little self-righteous. The ultimate attribute of Christ is Charity. I always tell my children we should judge our own selves, but not judge others because we don't know what their lives have been like. We have joy when we can laugh at ourselves instead of others. I wish he had focused more on the fact that we can lead our children to Christ by showing them that we are imperfect but ARE SO grateful that Christ made it possible for us to repent, and as we repent we can gain strength from Christ to be better! As a Latter-day Saint, I want my children to be humble and rejoice in Christ. As a parent, I need to set that example.
I like how he points out that THERE ARE NO SECOND GENERATION CHRISTIANS. We have to show our children that we are trying, we are humble, we ask forgiveness, then we try again. We become perfect in Christ.
He addresses the differences between girls and boys and how they are little moms and dads and spouses in training.
The only thing I DID NOT like is that his book could come across as a little self-righteous. The ultimate attribute of Christ is Charity. I always tell my children we should judge our own selves, but not judge others because we don't know what their lives have been like. We have joy when we can laugh at ourselves instead of others. I wish he had focused more on the fact that we can lead our children to Christ by showing them that we are imperfect but ARE SO grateful that Christ made it possible for us to repent, and as we repent we can gain strength from Christ to be better! As a Latter-day Saint, I want my children to be humble and rejoice in Christ. As a parent, I need to set that example.
September 28, 2021
Wise counsel for raising children in a broken nation
The advice and practicality of Michael and Debbie Pearl when it comes to parenting and marriage is such a breath of fresh air. They speak right through all of the nonsense and clearly guide the reader into the heart of loving God through family roles and relationships. This book has been a great treasure and blessing to our family as we have read and digested the different stories and parables. Thank you Michael and Debbie for your perseverance and faithfulness. God bless you!
The advice and practicality of Michael and Debbie Pearl when it comes to parenting and marriage is such a breath of fresh air. They speak right through all of the nonsense and clearly guide the reader into the heart of loving God through family roles and relationships. This book has been a great treasure and blessing to our family as we have read and digested the different stories and parables. Thank you Michael and Debbie for your perseverance and faithfulness. God bless you!
June 26, 2010
Well, with the Pearls I always have an issue or two I am not so crazy about, but often there is enough wisdom to make it worth the while to read anyway, and so I found this book. I needed to hear a call to make sure I am living in Christ joyfully--or else why would my children ever want to live the same way? I also appreciate the good counsel on letting teens grow in independence, be around other teens, and have meaningful work and projects to do as a family.
October 9, 2013
Great insight on raising children and what happens as they get older.
June 20, 2015
if you have children, you must read this book.
Read
June 28, 2017Great advice.
February 15, 2018
I'm not even a parent or married, but I thought this was great! I really agree with the ideas in this book.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews