Disclaimer: The following review is critical by nature, and will contain yelling and bouts of snarky remarks. And even before I finished reading this, I was not in a good mood at all. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Suspended...The first book in a series (Trilogy, really) by one Sarah Noffke. Since this author's review book was the oldest one I could find in my collection of to-read in my near-future books, it became the first one I read completely, this year. Gosh, how I wish it hadn't been...Is this a 'good-read'? Hell no! Could it have been a good read? Yeah, why not? Now, you might ask, “So, Mr. 'Snarky' Eberle! What fault or faults could you have possibly found wrong with such a great story!?” Well, I'll give you my answer, which is also my honest opinion. But a word of warning to Sarah's adoring fans, this reader's opinion is NOT going to be a good one, so buckle up and hang on...!
First off, the story had a fairly good start. It was a little on the rocky side, but I'll get back to this in a moment or two. It had a cast of what I thought were strong, likable characters. And I can even personally relate to the main protagonist! In spite of the fact, he's a young man! Usually, I shy far away from every man, without wanting to even THINK of being related to them, in spite of being a young man, myself. My reasons for feeling this kind of animosity towards the male gender are personal, in a hurtful, traumatic way. This means those men whom I had known, but wish I never knew hurt me and/or someone else emotionally close to me. Most of these cases of emotional and physical harm were acts of betrayal against me and/or my closest loved ones.
And starting, RIGHT NOW, I am going to make a lot of Naruto and Boruto references. Those are among the most popular anime and manga IN THE WORLD, for those of you who aren't aware or into Japanese culture. Anywho, here's the first reference: I am not just a casual novelist or even a casual reader...I am a (Insert choice expletive here) Novel-Ninja!! And what I mean by this is the fact I can quote un-quote 'see underneath the underneath'. Now, you're probably asking me incredulously, “Dude!! Who do you think you are? The vile snake-man Orochimaru!?” To which I would snarkily reply, “No, I'm not Orochimaru. I can just see the hidden meanings behind the hidden meanings. And ya won't call me dude again if you know what's good for ya!!”
Okay, so where am I going with all this nonsense? And what faults do I find wrong with Suspended? Well, first and foremost, Noffke was telling (And maybe showing) a fairly good story...For a while. Though, as noted before, it had its less-desirable moments. But it still felt like a believable fantasy tale. Now, I've tried being kind, patient, understanding, and accepting of other people's opinions of my stories. But then, YOU, Noffke decided to jerk on the heartstrings of your fanbase, me included, and started RUINING your own story by having ALL the other protagonists turn against the main protagonist!! But NOT because he committed any felony or other heinous crime...But because the REAL antagonist FRAMED HIM FOR IT!!! And even after the story ended, this vile antagonist, whose name need not be mentioned pretty much GOT AWAY WITH FRAMING FINLEY!!!!!! (-_-)
Ohh, but was this enough sick satisfaction for you, Noffke!? HELL NO!! Next, you revealed ONLY during the last 10 chapters of your so-called 'story' which the already suspected protagonist, Finley is UNABLE TO READ AND WRITE!!!!! Gosh, you might as well have chalked him up (Down!!) even further, citing him as a dyslexic freak!! OHH, WAIT!!! Not only have YOU, Noffke used the word 'freak' more than 5 times throughout this book, you've even gone so far as to have two or more of your 'OCs' refer to Finley himself as a freak!! And Finley was ALREADY ashamed of himself due to his inability to read and write!! It was effing bad enough of you to have almost all of the circus performers and even Titus being suspicious of poor Finley from the get-go.
But not even all this was a sickly-satisfying ending for you, Noffke!! You had to throw in a bloody love triangle between Finley, his love interest, Zuma, and a guy who Finley had every right NEVER TO TRUST!!!!!! And you made everyone's unjust betrayal of poor Finley 30 times worse by having Zuma kiss the other acrobat guy and then flat-out REFUSE TO FORGIVE POOR FINLEY!!!!!!!! And yet he was willing to go with her to rescue her precious little douchebag J--- even after she very nearly spat in Finley's face!!! For him, this ending turns into a fate worse than death!! And he's just willing to accept it!? HUH!?!? (-_-) Yeah, there's a darn good reason why I called myself Novel-Ninja, who claims he can see underneath the underneath.
And after having read Suspended, I know a lot more about you, Noffke. And probably more than I'd like to know. My eyes are WIDE-OPEN. You may be a proud wife and parent, but I can plainly see how you modeled Finley...You based him on someone you know (Or had known) in your life. Not anyone in your family, mind you. Perhaps a so-called 'family-friend'? Or the son, cousin, or nephew of a family friend? Or was it 'just some old-flame' who told you he loved you, but because he was DIFFERENT, somehow-Meaning socially or neurologically, then you didn't love him back. Or you REFUSED TO ACCEPT HIM AS A FRIEND, OUTRIGHT!!!!!!!! Ya know, there's a word we neurodivergents use to describe NT-cattle such as you, who turn your pompous noses up at anyone who you suspect is even REMOTELY DIFFERENT from you or the rest of your NT-cattle friends. It's DISCRIMINATION!!!!!! And while I don't know how many others feel in regards to it, my Mom and I cannot and WILL NOT befriend ANYONE who pulls this kind of crap on us or anyone else!!!
Yeah, this is right. I'm accusing Sarah Noffke of discriminating against someone she knows or had known in her life by writing him into one of her stories as the main protagonist, and then turning EVERY. OTHER. CHARACTER. Against him. By the grace of your God, it boils my blood...Oh, how it makes my blood boil hot as lava!! Oh, and by the way, not only have I caught multiple websites attempting to PIRATE my novel series, but I've also discovered a couple of hateful men on Reddit of all places, who dedicated a whole section of this toxic waste-site to naming and shaming my novel series AND ME as an author. Ohh, I'll get to you MFing S.O.B.s on Reddit...You'll be seeing a blog post with more details of this hateful naming and shaming REAL DAMN SOON...Your KARMA'S gonna spiral back around and it's gonna get ya but good!!!
But for all the rest of you loyal fans of Sarah, let me tell you something right now: I AM autistic, but I cannot be the Mr. Nice Guy which many have previously known me to be. Not anymore. Yet, I want everyone to know how important my writing is to me. They're not just a bunch of silly stories I haphazardly threw together in a couple months or even a couple of years. This is a HUGE project, which I've been painstakingly putting together, piece-by-piece for the last couple of decades, give or take a year or two. One fine day, I hope this will become something as big as or perhaps almost as big as Mr. Riordan’s The Kane Chronicles! But I won't count on it being able to hold a candle to the likes of J.K. Rowling or even Suzane Collins...Yet. Please believe me...Or don't. But I am not trying to sound like the smartest author of the 21st century. However, if any haters think they can write a better sci-fi/fantasy novel series than I've done, then they're welcome to give it a try. But if they do, then they'd better be ready to have their books be judged by my Mom and I once they're published. Because guess what? My Mom's a writer too!! Not a published author mind you, but she has many incredible and awesome ideas. Again, I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging, but my Mom is the most important person in the known universe to me. And most importantly of all, she loves me, respects me, and understands me like no one else ever has.
So, to wrap up this lengthy rant of mine, I'll only say this. I am not perfect. Far from it, in fact. But if I die in vain, alone and with no wife or children or anyone loving me, and any of YOU NT-cattle dishonor my last will, then I'll make sure YOUR KARMA bounces back and bites your buttocks REAL EFFING HARD!!!!!! So, just remember this quote from the Naruto Series: Yes, those who break the rules-Or laws in Finley's case-Are nothing but scum. But anyone who'd abandon/BETRAY even ONE of their friends and/or comrades-Jack, Zuma, Titus, et all.-Are EVEN WORSE than scum.
My final score of Suspected er--Suspended: 1.5 stars. Feral Henry out.