Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose

by Gillian McCain, Legs McNeil

"A rare, no-holds-barred documentation of an American teenager's life." ― Publishers Weekly Told through the actual diary entries of a real teenage girl, Dear Nobody chronicles Mary Rose's struggles with drug addiction, bullying, and a deadly secret in this raw, authentic book. Her story will inspire you―and remind you that you're not alone. They call me a freak. I'm sick of it. It makes me want dangerous, bad things. Drugs―hard drugs―and people who are bad for me, but I don't care, because I'm so lonely and no matter what their intentions are at least they're talking to me… They say that high school is supposed to be the best time of your life. But what if that's just not true? More than anything, Mary Rose wants to fit in. To be heard. To be loved. And she'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Even if it costs her her life. Compelling and unflinchingly honest, Dear Nobody is perfect for readers looking

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Teen, Mental Health, Coming Of Age, Realistic Fiction, Diary

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Gillian McCain is a Canadian poet, author, and photography collector best known for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk, which she co-wrote with Legs McNeil. McCain is the author of two books of poetry: Tilt and Religion. Portions of her "found photo" collection have been featured in magazines, published as limited edition books, and exhibited at the Camera Club of New York gallery. She sat on the board of directors of the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design in Halifax and was the Chair of the Board of Directors of the Poetry Project at St. Mark's Church in-the-Bowery New York City.

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can also find my review here: https://devouringbooks2017.wordpress....

Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose is a story of a girl struggling to escape her demons. It is a very raw story of a very real girl who suffered through some traumatic issues and tried to find an escape through drugs. Mary Rose was handed a shitty hand of cards and tried to play them the only way she knew how. Having read Go Ask Alice I expected something like that, but this book is in a whole different league.

I found this book to be absolutely heartbreaking, as no one should have to go through what Mary Rose did. My only issue with it is that it is a diary and not a novel, so it jumped around a bit. There wasn't much of an introduction to every new person, and at times I felt as if I didn't know who Mary Rose was talking about. None of that prevented me from getting wrapped up in Mary Rose's life though.

This story made me cry, not during the book, but after I was done reading and was thinking about it. Throughout most of the book Mary Rose is starting her diary entries with "Dear Nobody", clearly thinking that she didn't have anyone who would ever care to read it. Yet obviously there were people that cared about her enough to go get this published. I found it to be a great tribute to her as she mentioned how she would someday like to be an actor or an author.

I would suggest this for any teenager, anyone who has ever struggled with disease or drugs, anyone who has ever suffered a loss of a loved one and anyone who has ever felt alone in this world. I think we all go through times in life where we feel unloved, lonely and sad. But after the book is over it is clear that there were people that cared about Mary Rose, even if she didn't see it.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley and Sourcebooks Fire.

[Sydney · Rating 1 out of 5]

In my opinion, this story was almost pointless.

I'm not entirely convinced that it WAS a true story to begin with, especially since "Go Ask Alice" was once true. Which leads me to conflict. IF it is true, then her life sucked. She knew that. I like how she focused on living instead of dying from her disease, but the editing of this story was awful, assuming it's true. It was just a diary as it was advertised, and a very whiny one at that. The pacing of the story was odd and made it seem that she was a guy-hopper, which while not necessarily a bad thing was hard to keep up with. Also, the editors kept very little positivity in her book. Yes, she was depressed and dying, I get that. And yes, it's horrible. But I somehow doubt that she never mentioned any more fun aspects of her life than smoking weed and making out with guys? What about Hayley? She is supposedly one of her best friends, but we hardly know her.

While this was tedious, my biggest issue was much bigger. Supposing that this is true, what is the purpose? It's not to encourage kids not to do drugs. It's not to bring awareness to her issue. I feel like I opened the book and left feeling the same, with no impact whatsoever made on me. Actually, correction, I feel disappointment.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

She wanted to write. She wanted to perform. She got to do both – but she isn’t around to see the results.

Mary Rose had a hard life: drugs, alcohol, disease, abuse, unreliable friends. Reading her account was painful and raw. My heart ached as I read her diary entries – and I just wanted to scream that no one seemed to be reaching this hurting teen.

And then I read the afterward and I just wanted to scream ! Really? Her mother wrote the afterward and swore Mary Rose was loved? Mary Rose found “solace” in her writing? I’m sorry, mom, but I never saw a glimpse of solace, only retched pain. And the only love I saw was the love she had for her sister and the love she was begging herself to find in Geoff but I doubt was ever really there.

This was an agonizing read. My heart ached through the entire book - and this feeling, coupled with my disgust with the afterward, undoubtedly affected my overall rating. I know Mary Rose will offer comfort to others who find themselves in her situation by letting them know they are not alone. What this book is sorely lacking is a list of resources to lead teens to help when they reach the last agonizing page of Mary Rose’s tale.

[acascia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really excited to be reviewing this. I got a copy of this book from netgalley.com in exchange of an honest review.

Mary Rose is a master storyteller. She thought no one would ever read this journal, and yet some of her writing is so beautiful and raw and painful that I sometimes find that hard to believe. This whole story was shocking, sad, dark, and an eye opener.
I never want to drink or do drugs or party or any of that stuff. (Not that I was planning on doing it before.) It just seems like such a waste of energy and it doesn’t even make you happy. It makes you miserable.
I love reading a story and feeling like it made an impact, and I honestly think this one did.

Mary Rose deals with a drug and alcohol addiction, a crazy mother with an abusive boyfriend, cystic fibrosis, a mistreating, lying, horrible boyfriend, feeling like a freak with no friends, a dead-beat Dad, rape, and so much more.
This is life for Mary Rose. She deals with these adversities everyday. Some people couldn’t handle one of these obstacles, but she took them all and really was incredibly strong through the whole book.
Reading about her challenge made me feel grateful for my own life.
I will never complain again.

Good:

1. Mary Rose is a great narrator. She made some pretty bad decisions with alcohol and drugs, but she never felt like she should take care of herself because, hey, she’s going to die anyway. I really understood why she was making these bad decisions. She already had this awful illness and to get rid of the pain she turned to drugs and alcohol.
I thought she was undeniably brave, funny, and real. It’s crazy to think that you’re reading a diary of an actual fifteen year old that had to go through all these struggles.

2. The character development: Like I mentioned previously, it was so interesting to be in the mind of a fifteen year old. The thing that startles me the most about this book is how much it progressed. By the end of this book, Mary Rose is a completely different person than how she was before. So much has changed. Through the course of this book, she really started developing an addiction for alcohol and drugs and chaos, in general. She is so angry with her mother for being in an abusive relationship with Joe, but she does the same thing with her own boyfriend, Geoff, and doesn’t even realize how destructive it is.
In the beginning she mentions God many times, but through the novel it seems like she forget about religion. She just takes more alcohol and more drugs. She gets put into rehab, and swears off alcohol only to get drunk again in the next entry.
It scares me how she makes these big decisions without thinking about the outcomes or how this is going to affect her.
She starts cussing more and partying more and continually hurting herself. She’s such a different person halfway through this book, but by the end, she does come back to her roots. It seems like she gained acceptance.
In the hospital, she was wondering how it would feel like to die, and I am so upset she had to find out. I was rooting for her the whole time.
3. The pacing was done well. The short entries made it a really fast read and I was completely engrossed the whole time. I also thought the writing was pretty good, and even if it lacked in a passage, it still showed growth in every entry.

Bad:

I don’t really have much to say for this section. I really enjoyed this novel. It opened my eyes. It made me think and cry.
The only thing that bothered me is that sometimes, chapters would leap from one thing to the next without that much transition. Also, characters would be introduced without much introduction. But, considering this journal was never meant to be read, I think we can all look past all that.

Dear Somebody,
I really enjoyed this book.
I learned a lot from Mary Rose’s story. I loved being in her mind. Her mother, her boyfriend, her dad, and all the other countless characters that annoyed me, were nothing compared to this great girl.
Even though I want to kill Geoff and I hate him so so so so so so much, I am glad to learn that he will never find another girl like Mary Rose.
I hate that jerk.


Conclusion,
I would definitely pick this one up. It is not to be missed.

[Crowinator]

I can't bring myself to rate this one as a piece of literature or even as a true account. It's a diary from a drug-addicted, alcoholic young girl with a sad home life and cystic fibrosis, written between the ages of 15 and 18 and published by those who want to share her story after her death. Sure, it's real, and it's raw, and it's supposedly unedited (that's what they say and I can't really prove it one way or the other). But it has all of the characteristics you'd expect from a normal teenager's diary and thus is excruciating to read from a narrative standpoint. Repetitive, boring, melodramatic, no sense of characters or world, just sketchy details and raw feelings. (My journals from 15-18 are the same, by the way.) Also, I just...I don't get its publication, not even as a "Go Ask Alice" style book. "Go Ask Alice" was a cautionary tale; this is not. That might make it refreshing for some teens, since there's really no moral lesson at its heart, but while I appreciate that, I also wonder what the point is. This girl had a sad life and a debilitating painful illness and she wrote her diary to pour out her feelings for only herself, and maybe a few loved ones, maybe, to read. I think it should have been left that way.

[Jean Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! It's heart breaking and raw and honest. She's got cystic fibrosis but doesn't really dwell on that. She's more lonely and struggling with addiction and more. Go Ask Alice was a hoax, but this is real. I had a few moments where I had to remind myself that this was a 15 year old writing this because she's an extremely talented writer. I don't love the core because I don't it portrays how dark this really is. But the book is so good.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someone help. Anybody, somebody, everybody, nobody? Mary Rose was fifteen when she wrote this journal and whether she intended for anyone to read it or not, the pain is real, almost too real unless you know her circumstances. Her pain comes from a variety of sources, internally and externally and when she writes the messages is clear, she’s hurting. Mary Rose suffered from cystic fibrosis, from sexual and abusive relationships, from alcoholism, from drug addiction and from parents who just didn’t care. To hear her story, you have to be strong, you have to want to hear her message or otherwise you won’t understand it. Her message is that she wants help and she wants to be loved. I am attracted to these types of books; they scream at me, they pull everything out of me and yank at my soul, dragging me to feel the emotions and the thoughts those individuals experience. Sometimes I am left drained and other times, I am left feeling invigorated and with Mary Rose I am left standing in the middle. Mary Rose felt abandoned by her mother as her mother chose her abusive boyfriend over her own daughter. This on-and-off relationship coupled with screaming matches often left Mary Rose alone and scared. Alcohol and drugs were a great coping mechanism which lasted only as long as the high lasted. Friends, money and school all come into the picture and it becomes a balancing act with some things being cast aside when things get too complicated. Mary Rose is on a first-name basis with the police and her scars don’t just come from the treatments from her disease. So many times she tries to handle life but it just becomes too difficult for her on her own, so she copes the best that she can with what she is given and what she knows.

So many times Mary Rose states that she is going to get her life back in order, yet she slides right back into the world of destruction. Even after many attempts of rehab, hospitals, jail and whatnot, she is placed right back into the same environment and life goes right back to what she wants to avoid. You can hear her pain in her writing with her capital letters, her slang, her choice of words and her drawings so I know I was not imagining what I was feeling. The drawings were terrific and the pictures she drew of herself, the eyes shaded so deep and dark. The constant repeating of her own image in her drawings, I enjoyed that. She’s digging herself into a hole yet she doesn’t have the resources to pull herself out. “I’d peel off the label like I was unwrapping a present. I felt secure with alcohol, like I had finally found my home.” I highlighted so many parts of this book, so many great parts and parts I want to go back and read. I especially liked the part where Mary Rose listed the different friends you have for the different fights you have with those friends. Mary Rose coupled this with each substance you were on at the time of the fight (alcohol or a list of drugs M.R. was experienced in). Being an expert on each different type of drug and an expert drunk, she had this down and it was quite interesting and detailed. I want to buy this book as some of the pictures didn’t show up on my Kindle version so I know I was missing something and I know I will definitely want to read this again. This is a powerful book with strong language and strong subject matter which should only read by mature readers.
Thank you NetGalley for supplying me a copy of this book to review.

“It took me to heaven, but left me in hell.” (Talking about alcohol)

“OhmyGod, you’re right! I AM A FREAK! Guess that makes me different. Okay wait, what if I would take them into my living room and show them the three big, loud machines that “keep me breathing”? Do you have big loud machines in your living room that keep you breathing? No? Didn’t think so. Oh, wait, I’ve got them! How about next time I sweat I show them how salt crystals….” (People call her a freak and sometimes she just wishes she could tell them what her life is really like)

[Ivka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Náhodou som otvorila túto knihu a zbadala časť predhovoru. Respektíve slovo deväťdesiate roky. Prečítala som predhovor. Prečítala som prvých pár strán, na strane 30 si vravela, že je to super, a keď som skontrolovala číslo strany zase, bolo tam 220. No, teraz to už predsa neodložím.
Keď som skončila, bolo 5.05 ráno.

The True Diary of Mary Rose je The True Diary of Mary Rose, čo znamená, že Mary Rose naozaj existovala a táto kniha je jej ozajstný denník. Čo znamená, že to nie je denník v tom umelom štýle s dialógmi a vysvetľovačkami a zachytením každého zvláštneho odlesku v očiach, ale naozaj len náhodné pocity a výkriky do tmy. A je to sila. Vezmite si osamelého Charlieho z Charlieho malých tajomstiev a predstavte si, že vaše hľadanie priateľstva a lásky nedopadne rozprávkovo dobre. Namiesto toho sa všetko pokašle ešte viac, vy pijete, dáte sa na drogy, zaplietate sa s nebezpečnými chlapcami... a nemá to ten romantický nádych, ktorý v príbehoch čakáte. Ak chcete čítať príbeh, nečítajte toto. Ale pre mňa to bol zážitok. 9/10

[Isabella · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so unique. Different from anything I've ever read.
You get to experience what Mary Rose went through; her loneliness, sadness, anger, and joy, without actually being there. Although it feels like you are there. If Mary Rose were here I think she would make an amazing author. She was a very strong girl. ❤️

[Marianna santisteban]

this is the true diary about Mary Rose in the age about 15 to 17. In her diary you see everything that happens in her daily life. She get involve in a lot of drugs and alcohol, she make really bad decisions.sometimes you need to remember that is a 15 year old talking because this are really intense things. She is in a really hard stage of her life and all this was in the late 90's.

[Dollface_sinner01 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Nobody the true diary of Mary Rose
Where to even start this book is about a teenage girl and her thoughts and experience's . there not all happy and bright but they are real and heart breaking . as someone who had dealt with addiction it messes you up and becomes a security blanket . I would totally recommend this book but with that said there's good and bad to this book .....

Good :
-Amazing prospective into an addicts mind
- motivation to stay strong and get better
- a true understanding to what goes on in life when dealing with a life changing illness .
- And so much more i cant put into words

Bad :
- contains mentions of drugs death and sexual abuse and maybe triggering to some


BUT over all this book was amazing and the ending made me cry mary rose was brave and sarcastic and did what she could do with the cards she was delt . being rised in certain environments could not have been easy . i know for a fact growing up with an illness is not easy .

(Dear Anybody,
While life is hard
Play your best card
You can do this
You never know what you may miss
Love is rough
Make sure you stay tough
The fight is long
Stay strong
You will get there this )
(^^my person poem after reading the book )

[Dear Nobody ,
I only fuck with the ones i love...
So why cant i love everyone ?
Everyone seems to love me...
Because they're always trying to fuck w/ me]
[^^ a quote of Mary roses from the book that stood out to me]

[Selena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book not knowing what to expect.
I love Mary Rose kept a diary of her life events. It was interesting to read, in her words, her life. Her very short, very eventful life. The normal teenage events of falling in and out of forever love. The not-so-normal events of drugs and alcohol abuse. The hospital stays due to CF.
I am amazed by the strength Mary Rose displayed dealing with the addictions, and her mother's difficult love life.
I have read a fictional book dealing with teenage emotions. This is so much more powerful, knowing it is non-fiction and real, not sugar-coated.
I would definitely recommend this book to another reader. Any reader who knows a teenager with or without a drug issues, home issues, or love issues.
By the end of the book I'm not sure if I am happy she isn't struggling with the pain of her hip and the coughing and treatments that seem like torture themselves. or if I am sad that she had such a short life and never did find her true love or know the pain and joys of children. I DO know I was crying so hard it made it difficult for me to read the last couple pages and the notes from her mom.
To the authors and those who kept the notes and letters from Mary Rose, Thank you! To her mom,thank you for sharing your daughter with the rest of us!

[Julia (Pages for Thoughts) · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I apreciate reading her struggle with addiction, I felt the book basically had no plot and kept circling back to abusive relationships and back to drugs. The storyline kept repeating over and over until she dies. I also thought there were just WAY too many cuss words. Sorry, but there becomes a time when you use those words so much it just becomes meaningless and annoying.

[Justice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having your step father abuse you, moving to a new town where you do not fit in and have to change yourself. Having fake friends, getting into hard alcohol and drugs, in, and out of a rehab and hospitals. Mary Rose is a teenage girl who has had a horrible life with many emotional moments. Mary has been in and out of hospitals her whole life due to cystic fibrosis (A disease that damages the lungs and liver system.). Her mother loved her stepfather Joe more than she loved her own daughter. This is definitely an amazing and confusing story about a teenage girl’s life. Dear Nobody: The True Story of Mary Rose. Edited by Gillian McCain and Legs McNeil, is an autobiography about Mary Rose. I loved this book and would suggest it to anyone who likes drama.
To begin, the theme is an important role in this book. It has a greater message than what most people would think. Mary Rose has had a hard life with an abusive step dad, horrible boyfriend’s, drugs, alcohol, cystic fibrosis, and horrible friendships; in, and out of rehab. All these things caused many problems for her and led to the theme of you can make it through anything. Personally I learned that no matter what life throws at you there is always a way around it. For example, She was in and out of rehab a lot “Alcohol has brought me here. I never knew alcohol could be such a drug” She was writing this while she was in rehab the first time. I feel like alcohol became a big part of her life for a long time, it became an everyday thing for her and her friends. With all the drinking, it came with problems with her friends. “My dream like optimism led me to hope Geoff might even apologize, or at the very least be nice to me. Dream on, Mary Rose.” Mary and Geoff were constantly in and out of arguments, at one minute it would seem like they can get through anything together. But then it was a mortal hatred between them.
Of course this book had conflict (lots of it) with herself and her friends. Mary and her friends were either friends one day or hated each other the next. Mainly the conflict in this book was human vs. human which intertwined human vs. self. For instance, all the times that Geoff was mad at her she was worried that they would not become friends again. Another conflict against herself and her friends is there drinking problem which then leads into a problem with herself because everyday she is drunk out of her mind.
Overall, I enjoyed this book, I have learned a lot of lessons throughout this book, like drugs and alcohol are not the ways out of your problems. That so many young people go to these things when they are in terrible moments because they think it’s their only way out. So, therefore I would recommend this book to an older age group due to some language and sexual activity in the book. I would not recommend this book to people who do not like to be put into lives of other people because in this book it is like you are right there with her. I highly recommend you take the time to read the emotional book about Mary Rose’s life.

[zapkode · Rating 5 out of 5]

{my thoughts} - {Though the Internet existed in 1997 when Mary Rose was in high school, it was not yet accessible to everyone. Most high school kids still wrote by long-hand, passed notes on paper, and called their friends from a landline. Parents couldn’t track you via social media. If you were walking alone, at night, in the rain, along a desolate highway, you probably didn’t have a cellphone to call for a ride home.}

Mary Rose is an interesting character. She has a way about her writing that just makes you want to instantly fall in love with her. There is no denying just how wonderful of a person she is within this book. She is more or less your typical teenage girl that has typical teen age problems. However, she also has other problems that most teenagers are not forced to deal with on a regular basis.

{And yet, the experiences and struggles that Mary Rose had are no different than the ones teenagers face today: loneliness, shame, sexual insecurity, shyness, depression, bullying, drug and alcohol problems, breakups, divorce, abuse.}

Mary Rose like many teenagers her age and going through any phase in life really just wanted to fit in. When you think about it, when do you not want to fit in, want to have friends, want to be liked by all those around you, want to know that you are accepted. She faced one of the biggest issues being an outsider was that she was too different and no one wanted to accept her for who she was.

{I follow people, hoping for affection, acceptance – a home. From clique to clique, group to group, I follow, only to be kicked aside – and at the end of the day, I am always left alone, droopy-eyed, and miserable – like a lonely, unloved puppy with its tail between its legs, and misery in its heart.}

I remember when I was in high school, grade school even. All I ever wanted to do was be accepted. I was always the oddball out in grade school because I belonged to a family that was more or less considered social outcasts in the town in which we resided. I was always made fun of and when that wasn’t the case I was blatantly ignored. When I went to high school I moved to a different town however, the same struggles occurred. I wish they hadn’t but they had, I became really shy, kept to myself, focused on homework and ignored most those around me. No one paid much attention to me and I didn’t pay much attention to them. I did become friends with this one girl and she and I are still friends to this day 15 years later.

I remember the first guy that paid attention to me as well. Like with Mary Rose and Geoff, it was a guy that was a few grades ahead of me. He paid attention to me when no one else would. I longed for that so much that accepted his affection even though it was misleading. I can relate to how Mary Rose felt when Geoff paid attention to her because that was one thing that she longed for more than anything and it was one thing she felt she deserved in life.

The one thing I cannot relate to in this book is Mary Rose’s illness. I have not dealt with a chronic illness nor do I ever wish to, but I do admire her strength throughout her entire ordeal.

{I hate sickness. If one thing in the world could be erased, I’d pick sickness. Then all the money spent on research and healthcare could be used to cure hunger and poverty. After that, it could be used by organizations that would help animals and women, children, or the defenseless. After that, it could be spent on improving the educational system. (And whatever is left over could be used for space exploration).}

Mary Rose had such an understanding of things beyond her years. She knew how things could be done and had an ideal of how to do them. I think if more people had the understandings that she did there would be fewer issues in the world we live in today.

{My friend from the hospital died today. Her name was Jennifer – and like me, she had Cystic Fibrosis, too. Jennifer looked just as healthy as me.}

I actually lost a really close friend to this a few years ago and I watched him get worse and worse. I can only imagine all the pain she went through as an individual dealing with the illness and the pain of losing her close friends.

{The average life expectancy for my type of disease is thirty two years old – and that’s if you take care of yourself, which I never do.}

I am sure she would have cared more about herself if those around her showed they cared more about her. It didn’t help that her mom put everyone before her and that her dad had walked out on her.

{With Cystic Fibrosis it’s different. You cannot run from Cystic Fibrosis. Fighting back at Cystic Fibrosis with treatments and hospitalizations is all – consuming – and in most cases – futile.}

I can understand how she could view it like that seeing as she has rarely seen anyone that was able to beat the illness. The one thing she seems to want more than anything is to be loved, to have someone love her and want her. Despite her illness she wants to be accepted and know that she matters and she doesn’t seem to get that. It’s said knowing that she didn’t get that, but she left behind these wonderful journals that showed what kind of person she was even though she was misguided and lost so often she still had a good head on her shoulders.

I do believe that even though I disagree with all the bad language in this book, many individuals could learn a thing or two from this girl. She had such an interesting outlook on life and a vibrant way of showing it in her writings. She had the ability to pull you into her world through her writing and to help you better understand her and where she was coming from as an individual that was constantly at war with herself, her body and the illness that was destroying her.

[Kačaba · Rating 4 out of 5]

Přemýšlím, jak tenhle deník hodnotit. Jak by vám bylo, kdyby vám někdo hvězdičkoval život? Ach, dala si banánovou zmrzlinu -> půl-hvězdička dolů!!

Nevím, prostě nevím. Mary Rose je neskutečná bojovnice, ačkoliv neovládá meč. A HRDINKA i přesto, že nezachránila svět. A já se cítím jako neskutečný šmírák, že jsem jí vlezla do života. Jenže ona z toho mého už asi nevyleze. A proto (i přes miliardu pochyb) nakonec dávám 4*.

I asked God, “Why?”
Why did this happen?
Why did I feel so much pain?
I prayed some more—and then the rain stopped.

[Jay Mantle · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I was surprised to hear that this story of a teen being shelved in the adult non-fiction section but after reading it, I can understand why it may be. It's certainly not a feel-good read but a realization that teens everyday are going through such trauma in their lives. And we are all oblivious to it so much. The ending was what I expected although I felt sad and happy for the teen. Read it and find out.

[Brianna]

Dear Nobody is a great book. It captures the reality of teen life these days. Not every teen has a life like this but the amount that do is increasing. With every journal entry that Mary Rose has always has some kind of topic that is either tear jerking the funniest thing. Her life is full of struggles but this really captures how she copes with those, some ways better than others. I highly recommend this book to people who enjoy reading about reality and to teens.

[Rana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'll be honest, I did not finish this book. I don't know if this is really true or not since it's been done before but I disliked this book so much.

The way the diary was compiled made no sense and it was dragging on and on.

[Sofia Li · Rating 2 out of 5]

*I received this book from Netgalley for review purposes which does not in the slightest affect my honest review of the book*
*I am sincerely sorry to my street team for not posting this review earlier, I had personal/school matters that needed to be prioritized first, which is why I was unable previously to post this review*

My Initial Thoughts: One word -WOW. This book could go down in history. This book could make it onto the 'banned books' list. This book could do a lot of things, and impact modern society, in terms of subject matter and writing style. My first point is that this book is not for the faint of heart, and not for people that can't bare to hear about the 'tough stuff' which covers a wide array of topics from rape, underage drinking, abuse, drugs, depression, illness, and more. The whole nine yards are in this novel, all Mary Rose needed to do was add gun control, abortion, religion, and LGBTQ+ to make her story contain every single controversial topic nowadays.

I can just picture my language arts teacher (any many others across the country) beating the story to death with interpretations, discussions, essays, and everything else this story evokes/has the potential to evoke. Personally, I think that it shouldn't. Dear Nobody is so rich, and sometimes overbearing to the senses. Readers should really sit down for four hours and finish the book cover to cover in order to let all of the emotions soak in and impact them.

One of my issues is that I started this book with the expectation that it would be THE next contemporary young adult novel. What does that mean to me? Well, it means there are meaningful quotes I could write whole discussions on, and there would be passages/phrases that unearthed the whole character to myself, so that I sympathized with them, and truly got to know them. I know I am saying what a majority of the readers have said -This book is gritty. A classic contemporary novel in Sofiaworld has a cookie-cutter beginning, middle, and end, and -while subjects may be depicted in a gory and/or graphic manner- pretty.

Most diaries are written in diary-form, but they still have the classic exposition, rising, action, climax, falling action, resolution, etc. The format might be different and at times, unconventional, but it would still tell a coherent story. Instead, Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose is just that, the true diary of hers. The handy little disclaimer in the beginning of the book states that not a single word was changed, everything is directly from her. There is no introductory, "My name is Mary Rose. I am 16 years old. I live in...." kind of passage. While it was arranged so that readers would get a general idea of who she is in the beginning, this book is still not of the normal variety by any means.

Everything is EXACTLY as she wrote it. Every last cuss word, gruesome description, and more was directly from her mouth. The reason this praise is considered "raw and gritty" is because there are some pretty 'hush, hush' topics discussed that don't normally debut in a young adult novel. I'm not just saying that there is a topic like sex that is graphically described. I am saying that this girl, Mary Rose's inner soul was unsheathed in this book.

And that is what might trip readers up.

I personally did not like this book as much as I thought I would. The structure and order of events tripped me up. I'm all for authors trying to be unique, but that's just it, authors make up these events and stories. Even if they are 'based on a true story' the author still has the freedom to guess what it's like inside their main characters head. All Gillian McCain and Legs McNeil could do was rearrange the order of entries, and choose to exclude certain ones. I know people are sure to disagree with me, but I think a minute amount of editing might have made this story more enjoyable. There were a few jumps from chapter to chapter that felt like someone had just gotten up and walked away that made it very perplexing at times. Even if there was a single entry written by McCain or McNeil, it might have impacted the story. Mary Rose did not write this for other people's eyes. She did not write this to make sense. She did not write this to make herself likable or relatable. She wrote this to tell the truth.

I would also like to add that a reader, such as myself a few years ago at a younger, more innocent stage, would be horrified and shocked at Dear Nobody. Booze is being drank, and drugs are being done practically more than dialogue is being said. Mary Rose is drinking and getting high so much, that if this wasn't a true story, and I felt sympathy for her, I would say the author was terrible for putting in so much substance abuse. I know I sound malicious for saying this, but I am extremely surprised she hadn't killed herself before with the amount of alcohol and drugs -that I hadn't even previously heard of- that she had consumed.

Then there's the cystic fibrosis act to the story that makes your sympathy for her dip down even lower. Being sick and in the hospital has become such a normal experience for her, and she even says how people got tired of hearing she was there, and it had become a daily part of their lives similar to going to dance class or playing in the park.

Next, there was the romantic aspect to think of. I can hardly remember how many guys she thought she was "in love" with, who she thought was "cute", and wanted to make out with or date.

Then, there was the fact she was raped multiple times, which is horrible in and of itself, but she got so high, and passed out so much, that it made it (I hate to say this) easy for people to do it.

Lastly (and I know there is probably more I am forgetting), there was the fact that her mother was staying in an abusive relationship. Both Mary Rose and her mom got beat on a daily basis by her mom's (lets be honest here) good for nothing boyfriend that she even intended to marry.

There is just issue after issue here that all made up Mary Rose's life that had truly become hell. On the outside, people will probably look at her, feel sorry, then try to pin the blame on someone. Instead, we get to see how none of if=t was her fault, and merely a defense mechanism, although not the best one.

Because of all of this, I did not like Dear Nobody that much if you are judging a book by it's plot and characters. If you are judging by subject matter and premise only, it would get the full 5 stars. I know that the two star rating might be off-putting and negative, but my readers of this blog have to understand, Dear Nobody was not as easy book. "true teen diary so raw and so edgy its authenticity rings off every page" is what the synopsis says. I personally, had problems with the book in terms of structure and voice, but I hope that does not deter you from buying it. I was touched deeply, but it was still not completely to my liking. I know it seems hypocritical, and conflicting but as the same time I think it was extraordinary, wonderful, and stunning, it was also confusing, hard to follow at times, and not enough background was given.

Conclusion: This is one messed up book that should not be read by people with a tender stomach because of the horrible events Mary Rose has to go through. My own feelings are conflicted to say the least, but this book has the ability to be stunning, breathtaking, yet horrible, and confusing simultaneously.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dear Nobody: The True Diary of Mary Rose, follows the diary of a young adult struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, cystic fibrosis, toxic friends, and a non-supportive family. While I think the book was well written and very truthful, it was at times hard to follow. Since the book consists of only excerpts from the diary, and wasn't intended for anyone else to read, certain people and situations are ambiguous to the reader, only fully understood by Mary Rose. As for the problems Mary Rose faces, they are often disturbing to read. Additionally, the book dragged on, and I wasn't able to get fully wrapped up in it, partly because it was upsetting, and also because it was choppy. If you like very real and raw books, I would recommend it. Also, if you're thinking about reading it, I think it should be read by an older audience (high school and above) because there is a lot of mature content. If you like to read easier, non-struggle books, I don't recommend it. I gave it three stars because it was a decent book, just not for me.

[Jessica White · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dear Nobody was pitched as Go Ask Alice (but not a hoax).
Okay, I loved Go Ask Alice and all of the diaries in the Anonymous series.
Hoax or not, most of them were very believable.
So I expected Dear Nobody to live up to those expectations.
It didn't even come close.
It was ridiculous, not believable in any way, and if any of this was actually happening I'm wondering why in the hell the law wasn't involved.
Dear Nobody focuses on a girl that has CF (Cystic Fibrosis). However, you don't know that until much later in the diary. The diary instead focuses on her drunken nights, fights with her mother, excessive amounts of drugs, and a new crush every other day.
At 14 years old, this girl has lost her mind and there is literally no way she's coming back. Time and time again she complains about how terrible her life is but then also makes note that she really isn't doing anything to change it.
Sympathy is not something I had in any way reading this.
I had no desire to continue reading about Mary Rose.
But I happened to be on a 10 hour flight and brought only this to read.
Please, please, please do not waste time or money on this book.

NetGalley provided me with an e-copy of this book months ago and I just now got around to reading it.

If you want to read published journals that may be a hoax but are much better than this...
Check out:
Go Ask Alice
Jay's Journal
The Book of David
Lucy in the Sky
Letting Ana Go
Calling Maggie May

I only have 3 of them reviewed at the moment, but I will work on getting the rest up soon!!
This review and more can be found at A Reader's Diary!

[Taylor Avers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am currently reading this book so I don't know how it ends yet but so far from what I read I really like this book because it's from this girls real life and she writes about her hard life. Mary goes through so many things from right in the beginning with her moms boyfriends beating her and having to move around and then she is having trouble with her social life and struggling to make friends.

[Megan Augustiny · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I can’t say too much for this book (except for the fact that one of my favorite students recommended and lent it to me), I will say that this book made me re-examine my drinking habits.

[AceHall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read other entries here, first, just to get a general feel for how the book was received. I was shocked. I get it that tastes vary, but I could not help but to be shocked by how many people hated this book. Even more perplexing were the people who stated in their reviews that they loved the book, even though it was a terribly tough read, but gave it one or two stars anyway, just "because," for the most part. This left me scratching my head.

There is no denying that this book is at times a slog. It is, after all, a teenaged girl's diary. It isn't meant to be a literary masterpiece, but the parts that stand out--i.e., the wit, the ironic self-appraisals, the insight from a child so young, etc.--make this a gripping read if you stick with it.

Another thing that bothers me is that so many people kept saying: "This is not a cautionary tale." Truly?! Did they read the same book as did I? This book is nothing if not a cautionary tale. This book speaks to alienation, broken homes, drug abuse (and how it very likely shortened her life by half or more), the dangers of being unaware and insanely vulnerable to predators due to drug abuse, parental indifference, etc., etc., etc. The list of topics that I could add here just screams from the pages!

As I previously said, I just don't get it. So many people, in their reviews, are so judgmental toward this incredibly intelligent, angry, frightened, emotionally-abandoned (by both family and "friends" alike) young girl who is caught in a unimaginably (to the vast majority of us) devastating web of pain--emotional and physical--disillusionment, impending death, alienation, bullying, ridicule, self-hatred, a crippling lack of understanding of her own behavior, and much, much more, who is alternately screaming out for someone, anyone to recognize her agony, hopelessness, and mental anguish, and crying out at herself, too, on her own lack of knowledge of how she was acting so self-destructive...while having a laser-focused knowledge on what she did--and kept doing--to herself, if not knowing why .

To these judgmental people I ask, how many full-grown adults are in far worse denial of their own failings and lies, and mostly refuse to seek help for their self-assessed "non-problems?" Where as Mary Rose bled on every page with the incredibly insightful knowledge that she had of her own foibles and lies, and the fact that she knew where lay the problem--even if she was utterly helpless against the worst elements of her own behavior--and was unafraid of recognizing these facts, while savagely chiding herself for her own behavior?

Of course she tries to medicate herself to a better place--or at least to take herself out of her hellish situation for as long as the drugs and alcohol were effective. Would not most of us (though perhaps not through drugs and alcohol). However, given her living situation, her health, her sense of impending doom--no matter what she does or doesn't do--her lack of parental caring or control (or even interest), and her all-important search for someone, if not her parents, to love her and to show any genuine interest in her (beside sexually)--or even just like or care for her just for who she was...warts and all, in an honest, caring, non-judgmental way.

In this diary that chronicles a very private young girl's innermost demons, desires, fears, and amazingly honest and accurate self-appraisals, we are offered open passage into a tragic story, written privately by the protagonist, herself. I am no shrinking violet, but reading her diary was simply, by turns, mostly wrenching, heartbreaking, enraging, and as painful to read, at times, as it must have been to write--making me want to be able to reach back in time to tell her that I loved her, cared about her, feared for her, wanted to help her in any way that I could in an effort to try to save her from her circumstances and herself.

She was an unsurpassedly rare commodity: incredibly brave, yet ultimately fear-ridden; incredibly intelligent, yet ultimately unthinking; incredibly brilliant as a writer, but ultimately hid her work from everyone...without exception, leaving the world to think of her as nothing more than a sexually promiscuous, drugged-out, alcoholic nobody (which I find very ironic); and ultimately was almost never heard from as a breathtakingly honest, relentlessly introspective voice for her generation--and dare I say all of the generations since--except for an accident of fate: a chance meeting and casual conversation with a friend of Mary Rose's little sister about what was her favorite book, which led to the admission that she and Mary Rose's little sister were surreptitiously reading her Mary Rose's oh-so-private diaries--probably out of morbid curiosity on the friend's part, and the same plus love for her sister on the younger sister's part--and then accidentally mentioning the diaries to probably the only person in that small town who consequently could do something with the information once his interest was piqued enough to want a glimpse of what had so excited the young girl reading it.

These diaries were almost lost to the world forever, except for a series of tremendous, fortuitous coincidences that ultimately led to their being published. I know that the slog would probably deepen, but I, for one, would give anything to have a chance to read ALL of her writings, including--and especially--the diary entries that were excerpted or excised during the editing of said materials. Her writing is so honest, so soul-baring, so insightful--especially about her own failings--that I cannot help but believe that there would be some hidden gems or words of wisdom somewhere in those discarded entries and letters that would hold more heartbreak and more meaning for the people who were most affected, and most appreciated the first book for what it was: a true-life cautionary tale about alienated young teens who are cast adrift into an uncaring and dangerous world, and their subsequent behaviors when they know that no one is looking--especially for those teens who live in the small suburbs, smaller towns and cities, sparsely-populated rural areas, and in most major American cities, where many parents--often the recipients of abuse and addictions, and who are purveyors of the rampant manipulation and lying that becomes the catalyst for their children's subsequent descent into the behaviors and abuses and liberties taken that teaches their children so well how to be a junkie and/or an alcoholic from a very early age. Also, these are the self-same "parents" (using the term very loosely) who lack the inability to care for themselves, let alone their children.

I am not a spiritual man (I am more of an agnostic, really), but if there is a heaven or an afterlife, I hope that Mary Rose and her soul find peace and happiness there. With what we now know about her life, the horrid cards which she was dealt from birth, the wretched abuse that she suffered, her self-harm, her heartrending search for someone to love and to care for her just for being her, I can think of no one right offhand whom I believe would be more deserving of even a tiny piece of happiness, no matter how small. I am a recovering alcoholic/drug addict myself (twenty-five years sober as of this review, since July 9th, 2019), and I have watched so many close friends, short-time friends, and so many acquaintances die due to addictions that it is essentially impossible to put into words how so much loss, heartbreak, wastes of life, and friends' and relatives' suffering affects so many other people and even entire communities at times. I started drinking and using at eight-years-old, and was diagnosed as an alcoholic at age fifteen. It took thirty-six-years in total--while dodging many, many close-calls with death, beforehand--before I finally was able to get, and stay, sober...so far...since July 9th, 1994. I was incredibly lucky, but also worked ceaselessly to hold on to the small amount of hope that I had summoned with each passing sober day since first I quit self-medicating.

My teenage years were my own private, and public hell, too, though in my case I had two loving parents who worried about me continuously, and were instrumental, ultimately, in my getting sober at all at age thirty-three. I went from a near-death, intensive care hospital stay, right into a fantastic treatment program that, sadly, no longer exists (at least with the same patient or treatment types as before). I ended up surrounded by helping friends and family, despite having health issues of my own, too. I don't expect a long life, but it has certainly far, far outpaced Mary Rose's tragically short, pain-filled, abused, unloved, and emotionally abused existence.

This book devasted me. Not only because of Mary Rose's torments nor my own memories that matched up with many of hers, but because of the fact that Mary Rose did not possess, in her own mind, anything of value, or that could serve as a saving grace. I was so insanely lucky. Despite my health issues and stuggles with addiction, I was, since a very young age, incredibly bright. That fact alone helped me to craft elaborate tales to hide my own pain, and to put on "masks" to show the world what I wanted it to see. I also was very charismatic, charming, and a damn good liar. Consequently, I was able literally to "make" people like me--and to hide my terrible failings and pain--and when people like you they tend not to mind helping you out if they are able, due to lies and manipulation on my part, but I was even able to charm my way out of much of that type of fallout for much of my drinking and drugging "career."

I used such manipulation on everyone. In fact, it became instinct: I no longer had to think about manipulative words and behaviors, they just manifested as needed whenever I interacted with other people. I still fight the instinct to charm and manipulate people automatically to this very day. It is cloying and intuitive if one is essentially an anti-social, sociopathically-inclined savant, to want to ply one's intuitive skills one anyone within earshot. I saw where Mary Rose had some of the same tendencies as she wrote honest, raw entries in her private diaries. If eyes are the windows to the soul, then so are unedited, unabridged, brutally truthful teenaged girls' diaries.

And the truly tragic part is that there are millions of more girls (and boys, too!) out there who are faring no better than did Mary Rose--except that most of them probably don't have fatal diseases hanging over their heads like the proverbial "Sword of Damocles"...except for addictions, of course. Just in case anyone has not yet figured it out, addictions are a form of fatal disease that can, and does kill relentlessly, day after terrible day for so many people in all walks of life, but most tragically, it kills young teens all the time, before they even have a chance to experience anything resembling a life filled with love and happiness even for a very short length of time.

Even worse, there is no ready solution, program, or institution that would be able to help them. It is a national shame and tragedy with no end in sight. What terrible dreams hath one girl wrought? Thankfully, if there could not be any other answer, at least she is now free of physical torture and mental anguish. And that is not saying much, especially when one recognizes what amazing potential this girl possessed. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Mary Rose's life and death are a tragedy for us all. RIP sweet angel. For that's what you were to me under your troubled exterior, whether you knew it or not.

PS: If you are a pathetic loser, looking to read a teenaged girl's secret diary for salacious material, while it is in there, it won't give you much pleasure. Because a soul-baring diary such as this was never written to be a sexually-explicit memoir full of conquests and salacious descriptions of such activity. No, this diary instead stands as a dire warning of what sexual devastation may befall an underaged, unloved, self-medicated-to-the-point-of-helplessness, continuously-abused, self-loathsome, ashamed, mentally and physically self-destructive teenager. In other words, it ain't pretty or appealing, it is simply devastating. And anyone who might be able to gain some pleasure out of that is one sick individual who has their own set of problems. All the more reason to find help now, isn't it? At least, I think so.

[Kelly Easley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw. Rough and tragic. Makes you appreciate better life choices and health.

[Michelle Sayre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Captivating.

[Tabatha Shipley · Rating 3 out of 5]

2021 Shield Challenge: Been on my TBR the longest

What I Did Like:
-Real, raw, emotional. There’s no doubt you are reading someone’s private thoughts. She holds nothing back.
-Insight into the mind of someone battling a disease. Mary Rose was honest and open while she was writing this diary and it shows in the things she talks about.
-She was given a voice. Repeatedly she mentions wanting to be heard or wanting to be someone. This diary gives her that chance, which is the whole point.

Who Should Read This One:
-Reality TV fans who like the idea of a documentary following a teen battling with cystic fibrosis and an serious addiction problem will adore how real and raw this one is.
-If you liked Go Ask Alice, you may like this one even more.
-It IS a diary. Know that going in and you’ll be fine.

My Rating: 3 Stars. This is hard to rate because it’s categorized as YA Contemporary and really it’s nonfiction. I think the authors knew this one was a niche book going into compiling it. It’s not for everyone. But for fans of diary style stories … it’ll be a favorite.

[Lexi Morse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good I really enjoyed the real writing of it

[Lisa Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a fast book. It was a very sad story. There was a lot of stuff going on in this book. It was a more than a good book.