Less Proud and More Persuasive

by Sophie Turner

This short novella explores a simple question: What if Lady Catherine was just a little more rude, prompting Mr. Darcy to make a more Persuasion-esque proposal?

Author Note: Readers considering this work should be aware that, unlike the Constant Love series, this novella is written in third-person present tense, so if they routinely read only past-tense writing, they may wish to peruse the sample before purchasing.

They should also be aware that it uses lines from Jane Austen's Persuasion as well as Pride and Prejudice. Readers who have not read Persuasion are encouraged to read that novel first, less because of spoilers than because it is absolutely wonderful.

Genres: Romance, Historical, Fiction, Historical Romance

67 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 12, 2015

Reviews

[Talia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this novella though it ended so quickly to me. Maybe I just enjoyed it that much.

[Sheila Majczan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short but very sweet variation on the Hunsford proposal. Much of the text is taken from or presented with small changes from canon. As mentioned there is the use of the most-romantic-of-all letters, Captain Wentworth’s letter to Anne Eliot from Jane Austen’s Persuasion. In this case the letter is written while the “dragon” lady drones on in her drawing room at Rosings and later slipped into Elizabeth’s hand.

Much of Elizabeth’s reaction to the letter which she reads while alone in her bedroom is as expected. She has not perceived any of Darcy’s regard for her, she is disdainful about his treatment of Wickham, and she is accusatory about his role in separating Jane from Bingley. When she meets Darcy, at his request to give him an answer to his proposal, in the grove the **** hits the fan! But, at least here, despite being taken aback at her responses, Darcy has enough presence of mind to address some of what she is saying without just walking away. And, to her credit, after hearing some clarifications to where reality lies, Elizabeth asks for time to think about what he has said, about what he has proposed and to have time to settle her own feelings.

I enjoyed hearing both protagonists’ thought processes as they consider what has been said vs. what they themselves thought has been the reality - Darcy: a kind gentleman in taking care of others? Jane…and Darcy: not revealing their true feelings to others? Elizabeth: a person of intelligence who can be helpful in managing an estate as well as befriending a sister?

And we get to read letters to/from Jane and Elizabeth and in addition Bingley and Darcy so we are hearing of a second romance while ODC is untangling their misunderstandings. And while all this is set in Hunsford and at Rosings we are still “treated” to Lady Catherine’s infamous tirade at Elizabeth when she is informed of a possible liaison between D&E.

I would recommend this to all who just love ODC and can’t get enough of good variations to their romance.

P.S. I have not read Tristam Shandy so now am intrigued. Sections to make one blush –really?

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this re-imagining of Darcy's proposal being written out in the style of Captain Wentworth. This is definitely more Pride and Prejudice than Persuasion, though, since Elizabeth still has her objections and Darcy has to work hard to overcome them. I'm not usually a fan of books told in the present tense, which I find distracting, but at least it's consistent here and the writing does flow very nicely. It's a perfect length as a novella, easily read in one sitting.

[Anna Fitzwilliam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book very much, but the abrupt ending.

[Claudine DiMuzio / Just Jane 1813 · Rating 5 out of 5]

How would Elizabeth have received Darcy’s first proposal if he didn’t deliver it in person?

Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Since reading “A Constant Love,” by Sophie Turner, I have been a fan of her writing and look forward to enjoying all of the books (seven in total) that she has planned for her series. So you can imagine my joy when I saw on Goodreads that she had recently published a new novella that takes place during Elizabeth and Darcy’s time in Kent. It felt like an early stocking stuffer had arrived on my virtual bookshelf!

Early in this story, we meet Darcy and Elizabeth, who are visiting family and friends in Kent. Darcy, already besotted and determined to propose to Elizabeth, is trying to form a plan to find a way to propose to Elizabeth during a private moment with her. As he churns his plan around in his mind, Darcy decides upon an alternate path for his proposal. His unique delivery of this proposal allows Elizabeth to spend hours in quiet solitude, where she is able to consider, and reconsider, and once again, reconsider Darcy’s proposal. After a tremendous of reflection, and a serious lack of sleep, she finds herself slowing revising some of her initial beliefs regarding Darcy’s character.

When Elizabeth and Darcy come together to discuss Elizabeth’s decision, Darcy attempts to clear up the misunderstandings that stand between them. Desirous to demonstrate and share his true character with Elizabeth, Darcy agrees to a compromise, which may be the only way he will ever win Elizabeth’s heart and hand in marriage. At this point, the novella really became even sweeter, because their compromise leads them to spend even more time together, so readers get to witness numerous intimate, unguarded moments between Darcy and Elizabeth. These moments help plant the seeds of friendship and respect between Darcy and Elizabeth. Yet, as they continue to move forward, they are still faced with obstacles that stand between them developing a more intimate relationship.

True to the style of Ms. Turner’s “Constant Love” Series, the characters, plot, and setting are very true to canon. Darcy and Elizabeth closely resemble Austen’s own characters, and the same can be said of the other supporting characters, such as the formidable Aunt Catherine and the supportive Charlotte. Many of Austen’s own phrases from “Pride and Prejudice” are also woven into the story, and we find them used in different parts of the story throughout the novella.

While staying close to canon in style and tone, Ms. Turner also adds her own twists and turns to the plot, which adds lovely new dimensions to this story. The story alternates between both of their POVs, which allows the reader to be part of their inner thoughts and reflections. I especially loved Darcy’s inner dialogue, as he tries to teach himself how to court Elizabeth (which has some funny results) and how he feels about Aunt Catherine’s rude and abrasive behaviors towards Elizabeth. Parts of the story are also told through letters between certain characters, which also adds to the development and the intimacy of this story.

At around 65 pages, this book packs a lot of what I love into a “Pride and Prejudice” variation; lots of Darcy and Elizabeth interactions, beautifully crafted language that captures Austen’s tone and style and an ending that leaves us hoping that Ms. Turner will write more “Pride and Prejudice” novellas in the future.

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

What if Darcy was less proud and wrote a letter to rival Captain Wentworth's of Persuasion fame? Then the time at Hunsford would have ended vastly different.

It was fun to explore this short variation on a little portion of Pride & Prejudice. I thought the author balanced the new changes with a strong connection to Jane Austen's original story and characters. They were still Darcy, Lizzy, the Collines, the Colonel and Lady Catherine, but Darcy opened himself up more early on and it caused a domino effect of change.

While he might be unable to vocalize what he wants to verbally, he is able to convey his true feelings in letter form. And let's not neglect the fact that Elizabeth is also less prejudice. She starts out that way, but Darcy reaching out first disarms her and makes her see things in a whole new light. Their hidden courtship is heartwarming and swoonworthy.

This was a light, quick, and pleasing story. It does assume that the reader is familiar with P&P since it does jump right in to the Hunsford scene and characters and doesn't do a lot of build up. I struggled a little with the tense of the character's thoughts and it did end abruptly, but overall, it was a lovely, historically authentic and true to the spirit of Austen story. I will definitely be going back for more of this author's books.

[Madenna U · Rating 4 out of 5]

Imagine if Darcy's initial proposal was delivered in such a way that Elizabeth could think about it and they could discuss his feelings, come to understand about Jane & Bingley and discuss the Wickham situation calmly. This puts all the confusing topics out in the open and they are able to gradually come together as a couple.

[Elin Eriksen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novella is made sweet and romantic by the addition of some lines from persuasion.
The plot is the proposal and the road to her acceptance. It all plays out at Hunsford.
It is a captivating and engaging read that I thoroughly enjoyed and have no problem in recommending it. I would have wished for an epilogue though...

[Suzan Lauder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had read present tense works before, and as a result, didn't stumble upon the use of present tense in this book. I did see places where the author used past tense and could have used more present tense, but I'm no expert. My question is "why?" I can't see a solid reason for use of present tense in this sort of application other than as an exercise or challenge for the author's benefit. In any case, it was a brave exploration of a writing technique by this author that won't get the appreciation it deserves from all readers.

The story itself was well accomplished, using some of the best canon characterization of Darcy I have read in JAFF. Bravo to you, Ms. Turner. You didn't bow to the fanon, instead, you caught the nuances of the real Darcy as Jane Austen chose to describe him and attributed new dialogue to cement that style into the reader's memories. I will cherish those expressions. I loved the use of sapling as a metaphor, and the gradual growth of Elizabeth's feelings felt natural and not at all contrived. That's always such a difficult balance!

Editing was clean, with nothing to complain about except perhaps an over-zealousness with commas, something I have a problem with myself. You know me: if there's an issue that will pull me out of the story, you'll see it clearly reported in my reviews.

The novel ended a bit quickly, however, it had a complete story arc despite being part of a series.

The cover is rather "meh" in comparison to the richness of the novel, and I wish more authors would pay attention to this. I got this book because it was free, not because I was drawn to it. Although the forest scene is a rough depiction of a key scene in the novel, there are more active scenes that would have done mountains of good towards drawing in readers to this book, in particular, those with people in them. The novel deserves better.

I strongly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys short book detailing a rich experience of Darcy changing Elizabeth's mind.

Disclaimer: I am a JAFF author and some might say that my writing this review constitutes a conflict of interest. I was a reader first, and my reviews are honest and impartial.

[Sophie Turner]

This story was born when I began conjecturing as to how things might go if Mr. Darcy had made a proposal more like the one in Persuasion, which is my very favorite Jane Austen novel. Certainly, he would express himself better, and perhaps Elizabeth, with more time to mull things over, might have a less vehement reaction. They still face obstacles, of course, but perhaps those obstacles could be more easily surmounted.

Readers may not be aware that I actually did a lot of work in modifying my natural voice as a writer in order to do the Constant Love series, studying Austen's prose and attempting to emulate aspects of it as well as I could. I knew I wouldn't be able to match it, but I wanted something that followed after the original without being too jarring.

In this one, though, I let much more of my natural voice out (although the dialogue is still of the period). That means it's written in present tense, so if that's not usually your cup of tea, I'd recommend reading the preview first to see if it's something you'd want to read.

And if you haven't read Persuasion yet, please read that first. This is less because of spoilers than because I would be the last person to say you should read my work before one of Austen's most wonderful novels.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!

There's something special about the writing,about the fact that we are privy to both Elizabeth's and Darcy's innermost thoughts throughout their interactions with each other.

It's written in the present tense and I believe it's this fact that makes it such a pleasure to read. I love their letters to each other and the fact that through them, they have a chance to be themselves and speak in a frank yet cutely adorable way to each other.

I smiled my way through this book..... but I wanted more! I wanted to find out what happened next, what Darcy did to counteract Lady Catherine's verbal onslaught.......

Yes I really adored this book and highly recommend it. I received this book as a gift from the author on the JustJane blog. My thanks to both for such a delightful read!

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sweet morsel with an earlier conclusion!

This is a sweet what-if novella that answers what would have happened if Mr Darcy wrote a Persuasion-esque letter to Elizabeth in Hunsford. Will this aide or still hinder Mr Darcy from achieving his goal? Will Elizabeth see beyond what she has perceived as Mr Darcy's character or will she still be willfully blind?

Sophie Turner wrote a winner with this lovely story!! It is well written and a quick easy read. She has warned readers in advance that she wrote the story in the present tense, I do not think that it detracts from the sentiment unless you are stringent in the language.

I would highly recommend this novella to all JAFFers wanting to see a more humbled and less prideful Mr Darcy.

[ana darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rosings can have lovely spots

Nice story about Elizabeth and Darcy getting to know each other and understand their personalities.

As usual, the Dragon is entertaining.

[Brenda]

The author warns us that the story is in third-person present tense but I didn't really understand what that meant until I started reading it. Immediately my brain linked the third person narrative to how Dobby talks in the Harry Potter films. I'm not sure if Dobby talks in the third-person present tense but I couldn't get away from that so this whole story went through my head sounding like Dobby was telling me the story!

[Charlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute novella

This novella takes place totally at the Hunsford parsonage and the famous proposal takes place on paper and so the journey quite different.

It was diverting but the only thing I found rough to read was the change of first person oration to third/narrator like oration, otherwise was unusual and interesting alternative.

[Sam H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very cute beginning, Persuasion is my fave! I like that Elizabeth can address the issue without temper so they can reach the decision to meet every morning and see if something can grow. Wooing is soooo important!
Lady C is typical, as is Mr. Collins.
Mr. Bingley attempted to give D a piece of his mind by letter and almost fails... Lol

[Nicole Barton Sasser · Rating 3 out of 5]

~ Enjoyable Novella ~
The author did warn us that this was written in third-person present tense, however, I just need to say that the story and the flow would have been much better served if written otherwise.

[Les · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very short, very sweet alternative to the Hunsford proposal that ends better for all parties concerned. Low angst, low conflict.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweet story, but ends very abruptly as if the end is missing.

[Gratia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Less obfuscation; more communication

4.5* rounded down

I quite enjoyed this novella, with its path diverging from canon in the form of a written proposal over the verbal confrontation. The author's use of third-person present tense makes the story seem more immediate and, consequently, more modern in tone. Note that the Colonel here is not the fanon Richard—and I appreciate Ms. Turner's creativity and writing all the more for it.

[J. W. Garrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute, quick read and letters that melt the heart

What a cute novella variation. This quick read was just the thing for a rainy day. It left me with a good feeling towards our beloved characters and I loved the exchange of letters between ODC [our dear couple].

There are several great reviews out there. There is no need for me to repeat or rehash what they have already said and probably more eloquently than I. They should be very useful in helping readers decide if they want to try this work or not. They helped me.

In this variation, I like the fact that Darcy was able to defend himself against the charges Elizabeth laid at his door in regard to 1) separating Bingley and Jane and 2) lowering Wickham’s advantages. I’ve always wanted to give Mr. Darcy the floor so he could defend his honor and set the record straight.

After his confrontation with Elizabeth, Darcy was finally convinced of Jane’s true feelings for Bingley. He immediately sent an express to Bingley in London in order to confess and set the record straight.

After her confrontation with Darcy, Elizabeth finally conceded that she was wrong about Mr. Darcy and that Wickham was so very bad. This was a hard emotional road for each of our characters to walk.

I LOVED watching their love story evolve right before our eyes. To see them in one attitude and then to see their opinions change and grow into something worthwhile. I am always so touched and amazed at Darcy’s absolute and abiding love for Elizabeth. It is the thing stories are written about, of course.

Problem, it ended abruptly, just when things were getting good. WHAT happens next??? Is there supposed to be another book, was this first in a series? Did I miss that notice? Dang…I hate that.

[Abi Demina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this little novella, which is not so drastically different from the original P&P except that in proposing to Elizabeth by letter, Darcy expresses himself less offensively, which alters her prejudices and accelerates her transition from dislike to love.

One of the few JAFF stories to include a different name for Colonel Fitzwilliam, but I have no objections to him being an Edward rather than a Richard, since it is still in keeping for the time, and better than some other options I've read.

The author does give a warning on her Goodreads page that she wrote this book in present tense, which is a particular dislike of mine, but after reading the sample I still wanted to continue with the story. It did lessen my enjoyment, as I find it harder to lose myself in a story where I come across unexpected tenses as I'm reading, but this is just a personal preference.

The story ends rather abruptly, but it didn't really need to go much further and covers the main points up to Darcy and Elizabeth's HEA and uses lines from both Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice quite seamlessly, despite the change in tense.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novella was a delight to read. We find ourselves in Kent with Elizabeth and Darcy before the disastrous Hunsford proposal. This variation explores what might have happened if Darcy proposed via letter instead of in person. Upon receiving the letter, Elizabeth is able to reflect and go through a variety of emotions before settling on a course of action. I enjoyed the writing style and the end result.

[James S · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the third-person present tense writing style seemed unemotional and very dry which took away my enjoyment of the story. I often felt I was listening to a professor reading an outline to a story.

[Carol Perrin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Less Proud and More Persuasive: A Pride and Prejudice Variation Novella

Much of the beginning was like Austen's original Pride and Prejudice. The big difference is the interaction between Darcy and Elizabeth at Hunsford. Instead of coming to the parsonage, Darcy writes a letter to Elizabeth asking her to be his wife. That part was great, but the next paragraph were there the reasons of why hadn't asked her before. This part was not so great, but after reading the letter over and over, Elizabeth could see the improper behaviors of most of her family. He mentions that his aunt is by far worse than her family. The next day when they meet on their walk, several important topics are addressed: her sister and Wickham. He apologizes for the deception and will correct his misunderstanding of Jane's feelings for Bingley and he will correct the problem so that Bingley can visit Jane at the Gardiners' home. Bingley writes the strangest letter that reflects how angry he is.

[Carole (in Canada) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this short novella where we get a glimpse of Darcy and Elizabeth's thoughts during their time at Hunsford/Rosings. It was amusing seeing Darcy realize how rude his aunt was after his thoughts on Elizabeth's family and how much more offensive Lady Catherine is! Changing up how the proposal was presented to Elizabeth was definitely less awkward but still insulting. However, it did give Elizabeth more time to process it and take a little less offense. I appreciated Ms. Turner's direction of their courtship and how they each learned more about themselves and each other. I would have to say though, that I really loved Bingley's letter to Darcy! It was Bingley spot on! My only complaint...not long enough.

[Hazel Mills · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did enjoy this novel very much as was not at all bothered by the use of the present tense as some seem to be. I loved the use of the letter from Persuasion but it lost one star from me for not having as much of a Persuasion feel as the title suggests and for its very abrupt ending; I turned the page (actually pressed the button, yes my Kindle is that old!) and there was no more...I wanted more!

[Alyssa Lamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for free originally. I liked it so much that when I couldn't find it, I came back here and bought it. No, it doesn't hold a candle to the actual "Pride and Prejudice", but it's still top-notch fanfiction. The characters are recognizably themselves, they speak and behave in period-appropriate styles, it has humor and romance and it's a pleasure to spend more time with Elizabeth and Darcy (the letter from Bingley to Darcy is worth the price of the book). The lack of soap-opera-style drama and plot twists makes for a simple and steady story, but that's no bad thing. Like I said above, do you want to spend more time with those two characters? Watch them fight and flirt and fall in love in a less-dramatic but no less heartfelt way? Then you'll enjoy "Less Proud and More Persuasive." And if you would rather read something where Elizabeth is nearly raped by Wickham only to be saved by Darcy, and they fall passionately in love and she ends up pregnant, but then gets amnesia, and Darcy's evil ex schemes to tear them apart .... well, there's plenty of those in the internet for free (no I am not kidding, God help us all).

[Yas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a lovely story...

...I would have rated it better had it not been written in Present tense. I understand it is a stylistic choice, however, it made the story seem off.

The story is well written, and despite the grammatical choice driving insane, I finished it. Yes, I had to transmute the text to past tense as I was reading (Yes, live) in order to carry on to the end. But finish it I did, and I liked the story itself.

[Eliza Baum · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this novella. It was perhaps a little wordy in the introspection, but otherwise I liked the path it took. My favorite part was their discussion about Darcy's tenants, as it perfectly illustrated her growing insight into his character and his growing appreciation for her intelligence. My only real regret is that the ending was very abrupt. I would have liked to get a little more of a denouement.