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Embarrassing Confessions of a Marine Lieutenant: Operation Branding Iron 2.1A
A Marine Infantry Officer confesses his lust for killing and f!cking everything in sight, his desire to beat his boss's face in and frag the battalion staff, his willingness to risk Afghan civilians in order to save Marines, his burning desire to win a game of gay chicken at all costs, his personal mission to nail the combat reporter who joined his unit, his sexual arousal at the sight of ED (Enemy Death), and his inability to take serious things seriously; while planning and executing the last combat operation of his deployment in Afghanistan; a nighttime helicopter raid named, Operation Branding Iron Part 2.1A. (Continued from National Geographic's "Battlefield Afghanistan") This is undoubtedly the most honest and raw account of an Officer's thoughts and actions during combat that has ever been written. After publishing this book, Donny O'Malley's job options are now reduced to low level sales and day labor construction. It is still unclear how he ever made it out of the Marines without court martial. Senior officer's will slam him, military historians will be shocked, and all civilians will be 100% certain he's psychotic. Fortunately, the book is written for the opposite of those mentioned above. It's written for Enlisted guys. Officers who are brave enough to read will either cry themselves to sleep, jerk themselves off to Donny's picture, or will ask their buddies to write them up for an award with V for having the moral courage to finish the book.This book is a reach-around to all enlisted, and a F!CK YOU to every Officer who has ever written a politically correct, full-of-sh!t, "I'm a great leader," book about combat. Every single one of those fucking jerkoffs wrote a book for civilians that not a single enlisted guy ever gave two-shits about. The truth is that Marines love killing more than they love pvssy; they fantasize about mowing down insurgents with a 240 on post while 70 virgins take turns blowing them.This is who we are, and I'm sick and tired of nerdy book writers hiding our reality from the public. F!ck the public, they'll judge us and say we're psychotic until they watch an ISIS beheading video, and then they'll beg us to come out of our cage to fight the bad guys. At which time we'll head to the front line of evil and kill them all with a smile. Enjoy the read my brothers, this one's for you.
220 pages, Paperback
First published June 29, 2015
145 people are currently reading
162 people want to read
About the author
Donny O'Malley
2 books30 followersI was born accidentally in Queens, New York to Irish and Colombian Catholic immigrants. My strict Roman Catholic-altar-boy upbringing set me up for an unconventional life of deviance, discipline, sex, violence, parties, adventure, and service to others.
It’s a weird combo, I know.
After many years spent as a shy, timid, insecure, easily-bullied, nerd; I grew into the narcissistic, outgoing, overconfident, revengeful, violent, egotistical, lovable nerd that I am today.
On paper, my life looks like an actors career, so with that notion I’ll summarize the phases of my life with short character bios.
Catholic altar boy in New York city.
Nerdy, horny, goofy kid in North Carolina.
Nerdy, horny, goofy kid in San Diego.
High School Football benchwarmer.
High School Football 3 way-starter.
Horny, scrappy, revengeful, high school rebel without a clue.
Hyper college freshman at San Diego State with the worst acne you’ve ever seen.
Twice voted, Sigma Nu Fraternity president, who was ultimately fired by higher powers.
Volunteer High School Basketball Coach, with a losing record. (I loved those kids though)
Superhero children’s birthday party host (I dressed up as Superman, Batman, Spiderman, good times).
Camp Counselor who was slightly less mature than his kids.
Inner City Substitute Teacher, who tried to do good but got burnt out by the little fuckers he was there to teach.
Manager of Event Security for fraternities and sororities, who treated the job like a joke, and frequently got so drunk he had to be carried out by his team from the events he was managing.
Male Stripper for bachelorette and birthday parties. (Owner/manager)
Personal Trainer. (Great job, great clients)
Marathoner, IronMan, and Xterra triathlete (Usually in last place)
Event Planner (That’s me being humble. I rented out large venues and threw epic, raging parties for my friends that are still talked about)
Marine Infantry Officer for almost 6 years, deployed to Asia and Afghanistan, awarded in combat with “V.” (That award was a total fluke)
Medically Retired Marine Captain. (How I made Captain I have no idea, but being retired wasn’t surprising, I’m a big pussy)
Model. (Body, not face, let’s be real here)
World traveler (Does 20 countries rate world traveler status?)
Orphanage Volunteer in East Africa. (I never thought I’d want to adopt a black baby from Africa, but after volunteering there, I do)
Mountaineer and adventure sport chaser (I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, and I’m gonna get all 7 summits, want to join?)
Grandma’s Boy (Yes, I take care of and live with my Grandma in a senior citizen community, I’m 31)
I am proudly ashamed to say that I undo years of good deeds with one party. My parties have been responsible for more unwanted pregnancies, relationship breakups, divorces, arrests, broken noses, born-again-Christians, and lawsuits than Jerry Springer can fit into 3 seasons; and yet my friends and family can’t get enough of them.
I believe that mean people need to be punched in the face, killing bad people is the same as saving good people, and that being nice to people is everyone’s duty. I encourage all nice people to beat up an asshole or a bully at least once in their life. It’s like chicken soup for the soul.
I love sticking up for people with disabilities, victims of bullying, victims of domestic and sexual abuse, gay men who are afraid to come out (I have gay cousins and they hid for years) , obese and insecure women, and minorities who get discriminated. (I am half a spic and am frequently the victim of minority discrimination) I enjoy doing this because I know how good I felt when someone else stuck up for me back when I was a little pussy. (I’m still a pussy)
I have reformed my old ways when it’s convenient for me, and I have now dedicated my life to taking care of my grandma, entertaining veterans, and writing funny stories about all the awesome, shameful, lustful, revengeful, violent, terrible, and wonderful thing
It’s a weird combo, I know.
After many years spent as a shy, timid, insecure, easily-bullied, nerd; I grew into the narcissistic, outgoing, overconfident, revengeful, violent, egotistical, lovable nerd that I am today.
On paper, my life looks like an actors career, so with that notion I’ll summarize the phases of my life with short character bios.
Catholic altar boy in New York city.
Nerdy, horny, goofy kid in North Carolina.
Nerdy, horny, goofy kid in San Diego.
High School Football benchwarmer.
High School Football 3 way-starter.
Horny, scrappy, revengeful, high school rebel without a clue.
Hyper college freshman at San Diego State with the worst acne you’ve ever seen.
Twice voted, Sigma Nu Fraternity president, who was ultimately fired by higher powers.
Volunteer High School Basketball Coach, with a losing record. (I loved those kids though)
Superhero children’s birthday party host (I dressed up as Superman, Batman, Spiderman, good times).
Camp Counselor who was slightly less mature than his kids.
Inner City Substitute Teacher, who tried to do good but got burnt out by the little fuckers he was there to teach.
Manager of Event Security for fraternities and sororities, who treated the job like a joke, and frequently got so drunk he had to be carried out by his team from the events he was managing.
Male Stripper for bachelorette and birthday parties. (Owner/manager)
Personal Trainer. (Great job, great clients)
Marathoner, IronMan, and Xterra triathlete (Usually in last place)
Event Planner (That’s me being humble. I rented out large venues and threw epic, raging parties for my friends that are still talked about)
Marine Infantry Officer for almost 6 years, deployed to Asia and Afghanistan, awarded in combat with “V.” (That award was a total fluke)
Medically Retired Marine Captain. (How I made Captain I have no idea, but being retired wasn’t surprising, I’m a big pussy)
Model. (Body, not face, let’s be real here)
World traveler (Does 20 countries rate world traveler status?)
Orphanage Volunteer in East Africa. (I never thought I’d want to adopt a black baby from Africa, but after volunteering there, I do)
Mountaineer and adventure sport chaser (I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, and I’m gonna get all 7 summits, want to join?)
Grandma’s Boy (Yes, I take care of and live with my Grandma in a senior citizen community, I’m 31)
I am proudly ashamed to say that I undo years of good deeds with one party. My parties have been responsible for more unwanted pregnancies, relationship breakups, divorces, arrests, broken noses, born-again-Christians, and lawsuits than Jerry Springer can fit into 3 seasons; and yet my friends and family can’t get enough of them.
I believe that mean people need to be punched in the face, killing bad people is the same as saving good people, and that being nice to people is everyone’s duty. I encourage all nice people to beat up an asshole or a bully at least once in their life. It’s like chicken soup for the soul.
I love sticking up for people with disabilities, victims of bullying, victims of domestic and sexual abuse, gay men who are afraid to come out (I have gay cousins and they hid for years) , obese and insecure women, and minorities who get discriminated. (I am half a spic and am frequently the victim of minority discrimination) I enjoy doing this because I know how good I felt when someone else stuck up for me back when I was a little pussy. (I’m still a pussy)
I have reformed my old ways when it’s convenient for me, and I have now dedicated my life to taking care of my grandma, entertaining veterans, and writing funny stories about all the awesome, shameful, lustful, revengeful, violent, terrible, and wonderful thing
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
February 10, 2017
I just noticed all the fake reviews for this book. They all have headings, most in bold. What a coincidence. It wouldn't be the author who bigs up himself no end in the book doing it would it? Nah.... lol. It fits.
This is the second sentence of the book, in the preface, "Correction, anything else in life, except for fresh, warm vagina, (cold vagina sucks). It's not exactly a hook, but then after a bit reducing women to "pussy" that doesn't pay the bills, he makes it very clear, that the book isn't for me.
"...and normal, good-hearted American citizens will look at me like I'm psychotic. Making this more exciting for me, is that I don't give one flying fuck what they think, because when it comes to the opinions of anyone who is not a door kicking, minesweeping, chain smoking, Ripit chugging, gun wielding, body slaying, combat veteran, I give ZERO FUCKS.
After all, I;m not writing for them.
I write for Enlisted Marines, Sailors, and Soldiers.
Ok, so I thought, well that's just him mouthing off. Let's move on to the Introduction, which beings...
My masseuse was not the slightest bit attractive, although it's hard to say for sure. Every guy knows that for 10 minutes after jerking off, nothing in the world is attractive."
After a fake joke about Nazis and Jews which was designed to be in bad taste, but failed even that, there is another mention of women, "There was also a big shopping center located on the base with a nail salon (for all the fat, disgusting Air Force females)." Some meandering about how he is desperate to get his hands on a woman as he hasn't had sex for five days and is looking for a masseuse who will give him a hand job as he's fed up with masturbation. Next he says in Thailand you couldn't go anywhere without women begging to do it for a few dollars, he says the only really offensive thing,
I figured that every woman in a foreign country working on a United States military base had an entrepreneurial spirit and a knack for stroking cocks."
He says it all. Women are nothing, not even women soldiers, they are just worthless unless they are selling themselves to him. I'm sure he's always had to pay for sex. This goes on and and on, all this stuff about blowing his load on a woman, on massage parlours, etc.
I was willing to put up with this until we got to the nitty-gritty of his service abroad being a man and defending his country but I didn't make it, it was just more of the same. My overriding feeling reading this book is that it is boring. It's all too fake, it's too calculated to offend enough to get a certain kind of person to think this is just brilliantly funny male-bonding stuff, give him five stars, give him the SSS.
And if that's how you feel about the book, you and I have totally different senses of humour. I like things that are funny and you think it's funny to hear about reducing all women to either fat and ugly or whores. Different strokes for different folks. And I wonder if you who find it funny are kind of nodding in identification with the author, because you too have to pay women for your "strokes".
DNF
of course.
This is the second sentence of the book, in the preface, "Correction, anything else in life, except for fresh, warm vagina, (cold vagina sucks). It's not exactly a hook, but then after a bit reducing women to "pussy" that doesn't pay the bills, he makes it very clear, that the book isn't for me.
"...and normal, good-hearted American citizens will look at me like I'm psychotic. Making this more exciting for me, is that I don't give one flying fuck what they think, because when it comes to the opinions of anyone who is not a door kicking, minesweeping, chain smoking, Ripit chugging, gun wielding, body slaying, combat veteran, I give ZERO FUCKS.
After all, I;m not writing for them.
I write for Enlisted Marines, Sailors, and Soldiers.
Ok, so I thought, well that's just him mouthing off. Let's move on to the Introduction, which beings...
My masseuse was not the slightest bit attractive, although it's hard to say for sure. Every guy knows that for 10 minutes after jerking off, nothing in the world is attractive."
After a fake joke about Nazis and Jews which was designed to be in bad taste, but failed even that, there is another mention of women, "There was also a big shopping center located on the base with a nail salon (for all the fat, disgusting Air Force females)." Some meandering about how he is desperate to get his hands on a woman as he hasn't had sex for five days and is looking for a masseuse who will give him a hand job as he's fed up with masturbation. Next he says in Thailand you couldn't go anywhere without women begging to do it for a few dollars, he says the only really offensive thing,
I figured that every woman in a foreign country working on a United States military base had an entrepreneurial spirit and a knack for stroking cocks."
He says it all. Women are nothing, not even women soldiers, they are just worthless unless they are selling themselves to him. I'm sure he's always had to pay for sex. This goes on and and on, all this stuff about blowing his load on a woman, on massage parlours, etc.
I was willing to put up with this until we got to the nitty-gritty of his service abroad being a man and defending his country but I didn't make it, it was just more of the same. My overriding feeling reading this book is that it is boring. It's all too fake, it's too calculated to offend enough to get a certain kind of person to think this is just brilliantly funny male-bonding stuff, give him five stars, give him the SSS.
And if that's how you feel about the book, you and I have totally different senses of humour. I like things that are funny and you think it's funny to hear about reducing all women to either fat and ugly or whores. Different strokes for different folks. And I wonder if you who find it funny are kind of nodding in identification with the author, because you too have to pay women for your "strokes".
DNF
of course.
October 10, 2015
This book was written by an admitted deranged, disgusting, immature narcissist. That he's willing to admit as much tells you you'll get a raw, uncensored but honest and realistic work. It's the funniest piece I've read in some time, and the first to make me laugh and remind me of the ludicrous irony of war since Joseph Helller's Catch-22. Many civilians will find this book offensive, but I think readers need to understand O'Malley is writing about how things were from the view of a young Marine placed in an impossibly contradictory situation. His perspective isn't always reality (he admits as much in his postscript regarding the reporter), but it is his reality, and the reader is given his perspective in all its deranged, twisted, and horny glory. He leaves nothing out, even the parts that should have been (they were also the funniest).
As for O'Malley, he should probably be committed or run for Congress.
As for O'Malley, he should probably be committed or run for Congress.
August 19, 2015
*If "Generation Kill" Had Been Written by Sterling Archer*
Anyone who's a fan of the show "Archer" will know what I mean in the headline. Those who have served as a combat Soldier or Marine will (at least privately) acknowledge that this work is in many ways a refraction of our own deployments. This is easily the only book on modern warfare in existence that is completely raw and open about the types of twisted thoughts that go through the minds of those asked to do the insane, under asinine conditions, while trying to keep from going completely mad. I read this in a single afternoon, and only momentarily paused from laughing my backside off, as Capt O'Malley punctuates each chapter with the name of a Marine who committed suicide. Having recently lost my best friend (a fellow Soldier) to suicide, this resonated with me.
Those looking for a book on self-righteous heroism, or "patriotic" garble that will somehow justify what we had to do, look elsewhere. Rather, this is an expose on all of the gritty, raw, inappropriate, and downright raunchy thoughts that went through our minds constantly, yet we're too embarrassed to admit. Make no mistake, this book is extremely vulgar and will doubtless make many uncomfortable. It is also a quick read, which I breezed through in a few hours, while all-the-while hearing the story told through Sterling Archer's voice in my head. The story is less of a narrative about a combat mission in Afghanistan, but rather a confession of every embarrassing thought and action, told in sordid detail, that will resonate with most combat veterans. Part of the appeal is that it comes from an officer, proving that they are human (and in many ways just as or more jacked up) like the rest of us.
Veterans, get ready to laugh your backsides off. Non-veterans, if you read this book, please don't judge too harshly.
Anyone who's a fan of the show "Archer" will know what I mean in the headline. Those who have served as a combat Soldier or Marine will (at least privately) acknowledge that this work is in many ways a refraction of our own deployments. This is easily the only book on modern warfare in existence that is completely raw and open about the types of twisted thoughts that go through the minds of those asked to do the insane, under asinine conditions, while trying to keep from going completely mad. I read this in a single afternoon, and only momentarily paused from laughing my backside off, as Capt O'Malley punctuates each chapter with the name of a Marine who committed suicide. Having recently lost my best friend (a fellow Soldier) to suicide, this resonated with me.
Those looking for a book on self-righteous heroism, or "patriotic" garble that will somehow justify what we had to do, look elsewhere. Rather, this is an expose on all of the gritty, raw, inappropriate, and downright raunchy thoughts that went through our minds constantly, yet we're too embarrassed to admit. Make no mistake, this book is extremely vulgar and will doubtless make many uncomfortable. It is also a quick read, which I breezed through in a few hours, while all-the-while hearing the story told through Sterling Archer's voice in my head. The story is less of a narrative about a combat mission in Afghanistan, but rather a confession of every embarrassing thought and action, told in sordid detail, that will resonate with most combat veterans. Part of the appeal is that it comes from an officer, proving that they are human (and in many ways just as or more jacked up) like the rest of us.
Veterans, get ready to laugh your backsides off. Non-veterans, if you read this book, please don't judge too harshly.
July 30, 2015
It all started with some hot guys in undies....
So a few days ago my fairly mundane day started with the usual morning Facebook news feed scroll. Lo and behold I was bedazzled by pictures of half naked bronzed gladiators traipsing around Califor-ni-a in hot pants. Hello boys.
Interest immediately piqued (what can I say I'm shallow) i spent a good ten minutes scruitinizing the pics before feeling guilty and scrolling back up to read the text accompanying pics of said hot guys (yay for me). I read - "22, with 22 for the 22...Awareness for the 22 ex military suicides a day."
After some unashamed Facebook stalking I eventually came across the opportunity to lay down some hard earned dosh for the privilege of reading this literary gem. I decided to sacrifice my daily Starbucks coffee and strapped myself in for a ride with Captain O'Malley (whom I will now proceed to refer to as Captain O. After the number of times he has described his masturbating exploits I feel I know him well enough to give him a nickname).
Let me be completely upfront and say I'm a civilian with a capital C. I don't live in the US of A(shock horror!!) and I don't know what an IED is (other than it should definitely be kept out of reach of children). Shamefully I started skipping over the geological locations in the book after unsuccessfully trying to pronounce the first few and I have no idea if a sergeant is higher ranked than a lieutenant.
I have no one to blame but myself for my lack of military knowledge (i eventually googled IED - "improvised explosive device" atta girl!). I dived into this book fully aware that the intended audience was for men who fired machine guns at people for a living and not humble old me (who has never even seen a gun much less fired one) .
That being said the book reached my hot little hands and after reading it I thought it might be interesting for a review perspective from a reader who has never owned a pair of army fatigues much less walked in formation.
I'll leave the actual details of the story aside. This review is not a critique about a great plot or believability. I'm not qualified to comment on the accuracy of military operations and I have to take the word of Captain O that it all happens as he says.
What I will say though is that by reading his story I was given a detailed, sincere and brutal glimpse into the mind of a grunt (I already feel I've halfway enlisted by using that term).
Readers should be aware, the words F!ck, Gay and D!ck are used more times in the first chapter than a best seller gay erotica novel and if I never have to read the words "sopping wet pu$$y" again it'll be to soon. The jury's still out on whether Captain O is a misogynistist (all female characters are either referred to as ugly or a hole to plow) and Marines are described as so constantly horny I half expected/dreaded a chapter on the raping and pillaging of local women as spoils of war (I mean goats were mentioned!).
Thankfully it was all about enemy heads being blown off and masturbating in porta loos. Just wholesome bedtime reading.
Readers should also be warned that the Afghan locals are mostly described in this book as ungrateful, untrained, untrustworthy and unattractive. Try to get past the seeming racism -Captain O certainly has and is unapologetic in his descriptions.
But...I'll admit the book made me laugh at times. It was well written (some parts better than others) and I felt Captain O's message of brotherhood clearly stood out.
Most importantly, it unexpectedly gave me an education.
A few years ago a Wiki leaks scandal splashed across the news about American soldiers laughing it up in helicopters whilst shooting down humans like a video game. It made me sick.
After reading this book, I see the flip side.
Who am I to judge what becomes of a man's humanity after being thrust into the horrors of war. How would my psyche cope after being ordered to take life after life then getting up the next day to do it again, losing friends and limbs. Who knows? I may have started seeing those desperate humans running down the street as pixelated targets.
This book had the power to give me a different perspective on things, a warrior's perspective, and that's why I'm giving this book four stars (plus the author is a man that laughs hysterically whilst standing over the bodies of his slain enemies - I'm not pi$$ing him off in this lifetime or the next).
If you want a laugh, aren't too sensitive or easily offended and want to take a stab at being in a Marine's pants oops I mean shoes for a short time ( my bad) give this book a go and see if it doesn't change your point of view just that little bit.
So a few days ago my fairly mundane day started with the usual morning Facebook news feed scroll. Lo and behold I was bedazzled by pictures of half naked bronzed gladiators traipsing around Califor-ni-a in hot pants. Hello boys.
Interest immediately piqued (what can I say I'm shallow) i spent a good ten minutes scruitinizing the pics before feeling guilty and scrolling back up to read the text accompanying pics of said hot guys (yay for me). I read - "22, with 22 for the 22...Awareness for the 22 ex military suicides a day."
After some unashamed Facebook stalking I eventually came across the opportunity to lay down some hard earned dosh for the privilege of reading this literary gem. I decided to sacrifice my daily Starbucks coffee and strapped myself in for a ride with Captain O'Malley (whom I will now proceed to refer to as Captain O. After the number of times he has described his masturbating exploits I feel I know him well enough to give him a nickname).
Let me be completely upfront and say I'm a civilian with a capital C. I don't live in the US of A(shock horror!!) and I don't know what an IED is (other than it should definitely be kept out of reach of children). Shamefully I started skipping over the geological locations in the book after unsuccessfully trying to pronounce the first few and I have no idea if a sergeant is higher ranked than a lieutenant.
I have no one to blame but myself for my lack of military knowledge (i eventually googled IED - "improvised explosive device" atta girl!). I dived into this book fully aware that the intended audience was for men who fired machine guns at people for a living and not humble old me (who has never even seen a gun much less fired one) .
That being said the book reached my hot little hands and after reading it I thought it might be interesting for a review perspective from a reader who has never owned a pair of army fatigues much less walked in formation.
I'll leave the actual details of the story aside. This review is not a critique about a great plot or believability. I'm not qualified to comment on the accuracy of military operations and I have to take the word of Captain O that it all happens as he says.
What I will say though is that by reading his story I was given a detailed, sincere and brutal glimpse into the mind of a grunt (I already feel I've halfway enlisted by using that term).
Readers should be aware, the words F!ck, Gay and D!ck are used more times in the first chapter than a best seller gay erotica novel and if I never have to read the words "sopping wet pu$$y" again it'll be to soon. The jury's still out on whether Captain O is a misogynistist (all female characters are either referred to as ugly or a hole to plow) and Marines are described as so constantly horny I half expected/dreaded a chapter on the raping and pillaging of local women as spoils of war (I mean goats were mentioned!).
Thankfully it was all about enemy heads being blown off and masturbating in porta loos. Just wholesome bedtime reading.
Readers should also be warned that the Afghan locals are mostly described in this book as ungrateful, untrained, untrustworthy and unattractive. Try to get past the seeming racism -Captain O certainly has and is unapologetic in his descriptions.
But...I'll admit the book made me laugh at times. It was well written (some parts better than others) and I felt Captain O's message of brotherhood clearly stood out.
Most importantly, it unexpectedly gave me an education.
A few years ago a Wiki leaks scandal splashed across the news about American soldiers laughing it up in helicopters whilst shooting down humans like a video game. It made me sick.
After reading this book, I see the flip side.
Who am I to judge what becomes of a man's humanity after being thrust into the horrors of war. How would my psyche cope after being ordered to take life after life then getting up the next day to do it again, losing friends and limbs. Who knows? I may have started seeing those desperate humans running down the street as pixelated targets.
This book had the power to give me a different perspective on things, a warrior's perspective, and that's why I'm giving this book four stars (plus the author is a man that laughs hysterically whilst standing over the bodies of his slain enemies - I'm not pi$$ing him off in this lifetime or the next).
If you want a laugh, aren't too sensitive or easily offended and want to take a stab at being in a Marine's pants oops I mean shoes for a short time ( my bad) give this book a go and see if it doesn't change your point of view just that little bit.
July 7, 2015
My favorite book in the world
November 9, 2022
Hilarious. I miss my Marines, but I do not miss the Marine Corps; this book perfectly encapsulates why that is.
April 10, 2023
Beautiful USMC humor!
It's reassuring to discover that jarhead humor doesn't change. As a Marine combat veteran from Beirut, this book brought nostalgia along with its entertainment. But the era of Marine combat veterans represented in this work went through worse daily, compared to my less kinetic era.
But the most important point of the book relates to.how dark humor is a coping mechanism for surviving the worst of times. And the worst of times can bring the most profound and lasting nostalgia along with its lingering dark shadows.
Thanks to the author for bringing positive attention to veteran suicide in a manner that makes the topic accessible and less forbidden. And his solutions for encouraging the development of peer support to help fellow veterans through their darkest times are not only hilarious! But, they are practical and fun to employ to your bros. Thanks for that!
It's reassuring to discover that jarhead humor doesn't change. As a Marine combat veteran from Beirut, this book brought nostalgia along with its entertainment. But the era of Marine combat veterans represented in this work went through worse daily, compared to my less kinetic era.
But the most important point of the book relates to.how dark humor is a coping mechanism for surviving the worst of times. And the worst of times can bring the most profound and lasting nostalgia along with its lingering dark shadows.
Thanks to the author for bringing positive attention to veteran suicide in a manner that makes the topic accessible and less forbidden. And his solutions for encouraging the development of peer support to help fellow veterans through their darkest times are not only hilarious! But, they are practical and fun to employ to your bros. Thanks for that!
November 28, 2020
First off, fair warning (and the author also warns you repeatedly)...if you're easily offended by foul language, graphic descriptions, details of what war and our post-9/11 armed forces really face and deal with, or if you think that Marines are officers, gentlemen, and sweet as apple pie all the time...don't read this book. It's offensive on quite a few levels, but the author is upfront immediately about it...this book is his truth, and the truth of many other veterans. If it's not for you, move on to another book, no hard feelings.
That being said, if you're a veteran, or maybe a friend or family of one, this book might be right up your alley.
Donny O'Malley is probably better known for creating Vet.tv, an online channel of shows made specifically for AND by veterans. If you're curious, you can check out some snippets on YouTube. Actually, if you're on the fence about reading the book, go check out a video. If you laugh, you're good to go, if you're horrified, this book is not for you. (Sidenote: Planet Service is my favorite.)
Anyway, on to the actual review! I'm going to hide the remainder under a Spoilers tag, but only because parts of my review mention things that could be triggering.
That being said, if you're a veteran, or maybe a friend or family of one, this book might be right up your alley.
Donny O'Malley is probably better known for creating Vet.tv, an online channel of shows made specifically for AND by veterans. If you're curious, you can check out some snippets on YouTube. Actually, if you're on the fence about reading the book, go check out a video. If you laugh, you're good to go, if you're horrified, this book is not for you. (Sidenote: Planet Service is my favorite.)
Anyway, on to the actual review! I'm going to hide the remainder under a Spoilers tag, but only because parts of my review mention things that could be triggering.
July 20, 2016
I COULDN'T STOP READING OR LAUGHING
As a Combat Marine with multiple tours in different theaters of operation, I have experienced both the terror and tedium of warfare. Hours of boredom, broken up by moments of exhilaration and adrenaline. O'Malley writes of the hilarity that ensues when Marines find themselves in a combat zone when garrison suddenly breaks out. I found his chapters hilarious, and the epilogue at the end of each one honoring a fallen warrior and their chosen method of extract, particularly poignant. O'Malley is simultaneously irreverent in his prose, and reverent in his tributes to those who couldn't outrun their demons. His message is clear: We can survive if we maintain our devotion to one another, and the dark, inappropriate humor of his book makes for the perfect catalyst. Looking out for a fellow warrior is part of the legacy we inherit by becoming Marines. If you don't have the strength for the burdens you bear, call a buddy, they're always right there.
As a Combat Marine with multiple tours in different theaters of operation, I have experienced both the terror and tedium of warfare. Hours of boredom, broken up by moments of exhilaration and adrenaline. O'Malley writes of the hilarity that ensues when Marines find themselves in a combat zone when garrison suddenly breaks out. I found his chapters hilarious, and the epilogue at the end of each one honoring a fallen warrior and their chosen method of extract, particularly poignant. O'Malley is simultaneously irreverent in his prose, and reverent in his tributes to those who couldn't outrun their demons. His message is clear: We can survive if we maintain our devotion to one another, and the dark, inappropriate humor of his book makes for the perfect catalyst. Looking out for a fellow warrior is part of the legacy we inherit by becoming Marines. If you don't have the strength for the burdens you bear, call a buddy, they're always right there.
August 2, 2015
Sick individual...yet brilliant
Unfortunately I was one of those civilians living under a rock...I was completely naive to the rate at which veterans are committing suicide. This book really helped bring the issue to light for me. I love what Donny is doing to advocate this serious issue and I am glad he's doing so in a way that is catered to those affected. It's refreshing to see him expose himself to show that regardless of the rank he relates to everything that others went through and isn't afraid to put it all out there.
Unfortunately I was one of those civilians living under a rock...I was completely naive to the rate at which veterans are committing suicide. This book really helped bring the issue to light for me. I love what Donny is doing to advocate this serious issue and I am glad he's doing so in a way that is catered to those affected. It's refreshing to see him expose himself to show that regardless of the rank he relates to everything that others went through and isn't afraid to put it all out there.
July 27, 2015
Fun honest and disgusting
This book is not for the faint of heart, it was written by a service member for service members.
I'm going to be honest, I am a civilian. But some of the people I'm closest too in the world did. This is book is like hanging with them. I'm glad I took the time to read it and hope that Donny writes another one soon.
This book is not for the faint of heart, it was written by a service member for service members.
I'm going to be honest, I am a civilian. But some of the people I'm closest too in the world did. This is book is like hanging with them. I'm glad I took the time to read it and hope that Donny writes another one soon.
September 5, 2016
Awesome
If every officer were like Captain O'Malley, every Marine would stay in for 50 years. Great book with a really inspiring message. Full of maturity and charm.
If every officer were like Captain O'Malley, every Marine would stay in for 50 years. Great book with a really inspiring message. Full of maturity and charm.
November 3, 2020
I met Donny at the Silkies Hike in Fayetteville, N. Car., 2020. Great person. Awesome book. And I love Donny's TV channel, VET Tv.
Recommend. 206 pages. Recommend, although for a very niche audience – particularly those who enjoy dark humor, and who probably also read Duffel Blog, Terminal Lance, or have watched all of Generation Kill.
The book starts with a bang, illustrating the difficulty of getting a hand job while overseas. "Despite my impressively low standards (thanks to my ability to see beauty on a deep level), I still didn't see any good looking locals, so I was starting to worry about the quality of the masseuses" (p. 24)! Ha! I laughed from beginning-to-end with this book.
Despite its irreverence, or perhaps because of it, Donny brings to light critical issues within the veteran community. The 22+ veteran suicides per day, the incredible frustration we face, and our loyalty vs. integrity conflict.
One of my favorite quotes describes the frustration of the veteran we place in harm's way. "He's angry at the Taliban, the Afghan people, the Afghan Gov't, and the US Gov't for throwing him into a minefield and tying his hands behind his back" (p. 106).
On loyalty, we routinely face a struggle between moral and legal. I like to phrase it as a question. If it causes more harm to follow the rules than to break them, what would a good man choose? Donny answers, "So I disobeyed orders, I did what my conscience needed, what I thought all my little brothers deserved" (p. 107).
And like all good messages, the book ends with a call to action. Donny calls for commanders to more actively connect those who've endured behavioral challenges to those who've suffered similarly.
Recommend. 206 pages. Recommend, although for a very niche audience – particularly those who enjoy dark humor, and who probably also read Duffel Blog, Terminal Lance, or have watched all of Generation Kill.
The book starts with a bang, illustrating the difficulty of getting a hand job while overseas. "Despite my impressively low standards (thanks to my ability to see beauty on a deep level), I still didn't see any good looking locals, so I was starting to worry about the quality of the masseuses" (p. 24)! Ha! I laughed from beginning-to-end with this book.
Despite its irreverence, or perhaps because of it, Donny brings to light critical issues within the veteran community. The 22+ veteran suicides per day, the incredible frustration we face, and our loyalty vs. integrity conflict.
One of my favorite quotes describes the frustration of the veteran we place in harm's way. "He's angry at the Taliban, the Afghan people, the Afghan Gov't, and the US Gov't for throwing him into a minefield and tying his hands behind his back" (p. 106).
On loyalty, we routinely face a struggle between moral and legal. I like to phrase it as a question. If it causes more harm to follow the rules than to break them, what would a good man choose? Donny answers, "So I disobeyed orders, I did what my conscience needed, what I thought all my little brothers deserved" (p. 107).
And like all good messages, the book ends with a call to action. Donny calls for commanders to more actively connect those who've endured behavioral challenges to those who've suffered similarly.
May 5, 2025
Embarrassing Confessions of a Marine Lieutenant by Donny O’Malley is equal parts hilarious, raw, and unfiltered—and that’s exactly what makes it so refreshing. O’Malley doesn’t try to dress up his time in the Corps as some polished leadership seminar. He gives you the real stuff: the screw-ups, the awkward moments, the chaos, and the strange sense of purpose that comes with being a young officer trying to figure it all out. As someone who’s seen how leadership really works—in the mess, not the manual—I appreciated his honesty.
What makes this book more than just a good laugh is that beneath the humor, there’s a deep respect for service and for the people who wear the uniform. O’Malley knows the stakes, even when he’s roasting himself, and that balance of irreverence and heart hits just right. If you’ve ever served—or worked alongside those who have—Embarrassing Confessions will remind you that even the most squared-away leaders start somewhere, usually flat on their face.
What makes this book more than just a good laugh is that beneath the humor, there’s a deep respect for service and for the people who wear the uniform. O’Malley knows the stakes, even when he’s roasting himself, and that balance of irreverence and heart hits just right. If you’ve ever served—or worked alongside those who have—Embarrassing Confessions will remind you that even the most squared-away leaders start somewhere, usually flat on their face.
February 17, 2020
I loved this book, not only because I am a Marine Corps Veteran myself who was in Operation Enduring Freedom, Afghan but because the descriptions of Marines in this book are without a doubt true. I may not have been a grunt but was around many men and it was hilarious and always laughing and smiling during horrible situations would help to keep your mind off of things that are out of your control. Between every chapter is a dedication to an Infantryman who has lost the mental battle and committed suicide. Reading those alone has made me want to reach out and get closer with my fellow Marines that I have lost contact with throughout the years.
February 5, 2025
As a civilian psychotherapist that has worked with combat veterans I can tell you this is one of the most insightful books I’ve read on the in and outs of the day of a combat veteran. He delivers the message is comedic way, but let’s not overlook the seriousness of what the combat veteran faces. I think we ALL should take time to try and understand and never judge. As he states, if we see a group of veterans acting a muck in a bar, have a little heart and know they are coping with myriad of things we as civilians will never understand. Good on ya mate for your transparency and heart in helping your brothers.
June 10, 2021
POG enjoys reading about Grunt's failed sex escapade
If you ever wanted to know what goes on in a typical Marine's head than this is the book for you. It made me want to go see a prior service recruiter to experience it all again, but then I remembered how miserable it was at the same time. I miss the people, but I don't miss the job. The Marine Corps really sucks all the fun out of flying CAS when you thought it would be like a Vietnam movie. Maybe next war I'll re-up and squeeze into the dress blues again. Outstanding read! Donny at least needs a certcom or a NAM.
If you ever wanted to know what goes on in a typical Marine's head than this is the book for you. It made me want to go see a prior service recruiter to experience it all again, but then I remembered how miserable it was at the same time. I miss the people, but I don't miss the job. The Marine Corps really sucks all the fun out of flying CAS when you thought it would be like a Vietnam movie. Maybe next war I'll re-up and squeeze into the dress blues again. Outstanding read! Donny at least needs a certcom or a NAM.
May 5, 2025
Littered in grammatical errors. The only interesting part of the book was when the action actually happened. The rest of it was him fantasizing about various women, mostly his ex (I feel extremely sorry for her), threatening to rape and actually groping his fellow marines despite them telling him to fuck off, and stroking his own ego.
The second star is for the intentions of the writer. The actual content was shit. If he focused more on the functionality of the operation and the physiological effects of combat over his sexual deviance, then this could have truly served its purpose.
The second star is for the intentions of the writer. The actual content was shit. If he focused more on the functionality of the operation and the physiological effects of combat over his sexual deviance, then this could have truly served its purpose.
July 20, 2023
People will not understand why I laughed so hard that I cried. From the start, Don Omaley tells an embarrassing story of trying to get a happy ending that is so funny I was gasping for air. This book is going to go over a lot of your heads, but that's OK it wasn't written for you.
It was written for us.
It was written for us.
January 21, 2017
Vulgar as hell and short, and sadly Donny's not a particularly talented writer. Good storyteller and joker, which still will get you to laugh but will make you kind of disgusted with yourself if you're anything greater than a cro-magnon piece of shit.
September 12, 2017
Why S#%! Happens
Why are our veterans committing suicide at such high rates? This book attempts to answer that question by honestly showing just how combat messes with your mind. Simper Fi
Why are our veterans committing suicide at such high rates? This book attempts to answer that question by honestly showing just how combat messes with your mind. Simper Fi
May 12, 2018
A great read no where near as raunchy as i thought.
Great read I read it straight through. Well worth the money. I just wish I knew what the final disposition was with that news reporter.
Great read I read it straight through. Well worth the money. I just wish I knew what the final disposition was with that news reporter.
August 13, 2019
War from a more personal point of view
The author shares his personal experience of war and how it affected him and what he went through in combat. Grossly humorous, horrible, disgusting,.... This is a book you must read to understand your Marine.
The author shares his personal experience of war and how it affected him and what he went through in combat. Grossly humorous, horrible, disgusting,.... This is a book you must read to understand your Marine.
March 14, 2021
Good book
This is a great book about a marine's perspective of life in a foreign desert. Geared toward other marines, softer people might not be the target audience. He doesn't hold back about anything, and it's done in a humorous way.
This is a great book about a marine's perspective of life in a foreign desert. Geared toward other marines, softer people might not be the target audience. He doesn't hold back about anything, and it's done in a humorous way.
March 29, 2022
The hard truth
Being a Marine combat veteran, this book pretty much 100% accurate. I was no officer as Donny but it is still pretty much the same. It is a very good book if you are able to handle the truth about the military
Being a Marine combat veteran, this book pretty much 100% accurate. I was no officer as Donny but it is still pretty much the same. It is a very good book if you are able to handle the truth about the military
November 22, 2017
Oorah
Brought a lot back. Some good,some very weird. Like to thank the author for telling it like it is and like it was.
Brought a lot back. Some good,some very weird. Like to thank the author for telling it like it is and like it was.
August 31, 2018
Still LMAO 2Days After Reading this
This book is raw, but so funny you would have to be dead NOT to enjoy it. 40 vets kill themselves a day not 22....
Thanks for writing this.
This book is raw, but so funny you would have to be dead NOT to enjoy it. 40 vets kill themselves a day not 22....
Thanks for writing this.
August 14, 2019
Great book
I f#cking love this book. I highly recommend this book. I laughed out loud so many times my wife thought I had gone crazy.
I f#cking love this book. I highly recommend this book. I laughed out loud so many times my wife thought I had gone crazy.
January 28, 2020
Great read
Highly recommend to all Grunts past or present. True and honest about life as a Marine in the infantry. Not for the easily offended!!!!
Highly recommend to all Grunts past or present. True and honest about life as a Marine in the infantry. Not for the easily offended!!!!
May 1, 2020
Beautiful book
Needed to read this, loved it. From a former
K 3/5 marine
Laughed cried and almost died laughing reading about sitting behind that column
Needed to read this, loved it. From a former
K 3/5 marine
Laughed cried and almost died laughing reading about sitting behind that column
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