I just withdrew my request to win this book in a GoodReads giveaway.
Individually, there are some pretty fantastic stories in this collection. The very first story, A Princess of Spain, had me so excited for the rest of the book. Being a complete Tudors freak, and a whore for anything that puts real life people in fantasy situations. Catherine of Aragon with her first husband, a vampire thrall. And she's saved by King Henry VIII, Vampire Hunter.
I would read a whole series about King Henry VIII, Vampire Hunter, actually.
Most unfortunately, though, this momentum didn't last. In fact, if this book's momentum were a human being's metabolism, this book is a 600 pound man sitting on his couch, unable to see his feet. Sure, he can occasionally get himself off the couch and go to the fridge or the bathroom, but for the most part? He and the couch are BFFs.
I can recommend stories from this book, but I would not recommend the book itself. It's long, and the only thing stopping me from giving up entirely was the knowledge that giving up on a story collection written by multiple authors is the equivalent of throwing a hissy fit and refusing to date any brunettes because three so far have been total assholes.
Let's do a quick run down of the stories worth mentioning.
Shipwrecks Above: This author has a serious way with words.
She was once a dryad, but then fell from Artemis' favor. Weighed about the ankles, so she was drowned and whored out to the sea, cast down from al sylvan terrestrial spheres, from all pastures and forests that have not been drowned.
This is the story of a vampiric mermaid. The combination of words + plot should've been great, but it didn't get my imagination singing.
The Fall of the House of Blackwater: The introduction to this story mentions that her books "began to evolve in the 1980s, long before the most recent explosion of vampire fiction". Does that mean she's the inventor of the massive amount of vampiric cliches featured in this story? That being said, the story isn't terrible, it's actually rather clever. Great characters.
In Memory Of: I don't know enough about Oscar Wilde to truly appreciate this story. I love that, as a whole, this is the story of how Bram Stoker came up with the idea for Dracula. See above re: real life persons put into fantasy situations. I wish I knew more about Oscar Wilde so I could really appreciate the little twists.
La Dame: Simultaneously too long and too short. Fantastic idea, poorly executed.
Chicago 1927:
We take blood, not life. Leave something in exchange.
YES YES YES YES YES GIVE ME MORE LIKE THIS. Ms. Gomez has written other stories about Gilda, and I will be reading them all. She's fantastic.
Renewal: I think this is the one that took me the longest to get through. It's probably also the one I hated the most (Edit: Second most hated). A waste of my precious reading time, and the start of wanting to DNF this book. Which is why it was lovely to have
Blood Freak: come right after it. I have a certain affinity for Nancy Holder, based on her work on Buffy novelizations. I think she's a good writer, fun and easy. This story is one I would love to see as a full sized novel. Vampires in the 1960s, treated as reverentially as any cult leader. The language of the hippies just made me laugh, and the appearance of Dr. Timothy Leary, who wants to be turned into a vampire. There is nothing to not love here. It makes me want desperately to have a combination of Dracula and Mad Men. Speaking of which,
The Power and The Passion: This is Van Helsing meets Dexter. Rather disturbing, though blessedly, the gory details are mostly tame and left up to one's imagination. I do adore the idea of a crucifix tattoo being the only thing a person needs to save themselves from becoming a vampire.
The Unicorn Tapestry: OH MY GOD WHY WOULDN'T THIS FUCKING STORY END. I seriously kept scrolling, kept flipping the pages, and it just went ON AND ON AND ON. This is by far the worst story in the book, and I wish it could have been burned after reading.
This Town Ain't Big Enough: The funny thing about this story is, I just went to look up "Tanya Huff" on Goodreads in order to add the Vicki Nelson series to my to-read list. And I found out that I'd already added the first book.
I knew while reading this story that I was familiar with the author. I read another short story of hers in Many Bloody Returns, set in this universe, though missing Vicki Vamp. It's Henry Fitzroy, bastard of King Henry VIII (Vampire Hunter?), as a centuries old vampire. See above re: TOTAL Tudors whore.
This story only mentions Henry, we don't see him. Average story, but likeable enough.
Vampire King of the Goth Chicks: Major points for a reference to Death from the Sandman series. Sonja Blue is kind of a bad ass character. A great story after a handful of bad or so-so ones.
Learning Curve: Another author whose books I placed on hold after reading Many Bloody Returns I like this story well enough, Zoe Takano is an adorable vampire, and she...basically teaches a vampire slayer how to fight. It's super cute.
The Better Half: I thought, until the end, that we were dealing with spousal abuse only, and not real vampirism. If that were the case, it would really work. This story reminded me heavily of someone I'm friends with. If you didn't know this story was supposed to be about vampires, you'd be REALLY confused. But other than that, it's a fantastic metaphor. I just wish it hadn't ended that way.
Selling Houses: I really, genuinely want to read a Laurell K. Hamilton book now. I've always been rather so-so about reading her works despite strong recommendations, but this one might've pushed me over. Though the reappearing bloody handprints and small creepy child really gave me the heebie jeebies.
Greedy Choke Puppy: Makes me want to read books on Jamaican folk lore. Absolutely fascinating. And I do love that accent.
Tacky: The introduction let me know that Dahlia is only mentioned briefly in the True Blood books, which is the only reason I'm not promptly running out to finally give them a shot. I like Dahlia a great deal, and I like this world.
From the Teeth of Strange Children: Third in line of most hated stories in this collection.
Magdala Amygdala: This is a story about zombies, with the appearance of a vampire. And it's confusing as shit.
The Coldest Girl in Cold-Town: I was ready to put the novelization of this short story on hold until I found out that it doesn't feature Matilda. It's a shame.
In the Future When All's Well: A great story to end on after so much disappointment. Scout is a fantastic narrator, and this is a great metaphor for so many things in the world right now, from fear of vaccinations to the ever-present over warnings of everything from sex to talking back to your parents. Brilliant.
Received via Edelweiss in exchange for a fair review.