Torn Between Two Cultures: An Afghan-American Woman Speaks Out

by Maryam Qudrat Aseel

Maryam Qudrat Aseel is an Afghan-American woman born in the U.S. to first generation Afghan immigrants. In "Torn Between Two Cultures," she weaves her family’s and her own personal stories into recent American and Afghan politics and history. Her book describes her upbringing in America as a woman in a modern Afghan family with traditional values. She explores how those values and her own desire to be "American" came into conflict and led to an identity crisis that was only resolved as she rediscovered her religious and cultural roots, became increasingly active in the Afghan and Muslim communities, and resolved to bridge the gap between her two cultures. As an Afghan-American woman, Maryam offers a unique perspective on East and West conflicts, and in this book and in her life she is working to bring about understanding and resolution. "Torn Between Two Cultures" is a paradigm for the larger problem of the growing gap of understanding between the Islamic world and the west.

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Ramlah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book.

[Mohammed Almesafri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one of the best books I have ever read. It talks about an Afghan-American experience. The author tells her story as an American-born daughter of Afghan parents who immigrated to the USA during the Afghanistan war (Soviet occupation). It is amazing how she describes the misunderstanding about Islam and replaces it with truth about Islam. She discussed different views about Islam (presented by Holy Quran) as it is practiced by Muslims and as those who are unfamiliar with it. Decrypting Islam in depth was a good idea since many people in this country do not know what Islam is in reality. It is interesting how she relates her life experience as she grew up in the USA, going to Afghanistan. Also, it is astonishing to me how strongly she holds to her tradition within the USA culture. It is not easy to practice the tradition of your parent’s culture if you are born in a culture different than theirs. English is not my first language, but it was really easy to read this book and it is well organized when you read it. She emphasized many times that the Taliban was and is not going to be the representation of Afghans and Muslims. Most terrorist attacks were done under the name of Islam, and that is very sad. This book is really amazing and should be taught to educate people about Islam. I felt very touched by the author’s experiences.

[Marlys · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book. I feel that I have a greater understanding of Afghanistan and the Islam religion. This book was very mind expanding for me and I recommend that everyone read it.

[Yuyaysapa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Torn Between Two Cultures Book Review

Torn between two cultures by Maryam Qudrat tell the story of her cultural background in Afghanistan including the aspirations, dynamic life, ideologies, and professional development of her and her family. Qudrat also described not only a history of violence, assassination, coup, international and civil wars in Afghanistan, but also a growing uncertainty among Afghans and American-Afghan living in the United States since September 11, 2000. As Qudrat pointed out “I am an Afghan-America woman, born in Los Angeles in 1974 to Afghan who immigrated before all hell broke loose in their homeland”. The whole idea to immigrate to America, as every other ethnic group could experience, is to look forward for a better future in one of the most powerful country in the word. However, after Quadrats’ parents immigrated to pursued a professional career and a better future, the civil war in Afghanistan stroke. Qudrat describes the insecurity and the civil war accounts in detail when she was visiting her extended family member in Afghanistan at her only 4 years old. Coincidently, Qudrat’s parent, along with her, went to Afghanistan, days before the civil was stroke. “In 1978, Afghan communist backed by the Soviet Union assassinated Daoud. Noor Taraki become president. Five months later, Taraki is assassinated and Hafizllah Amin assumes power”. Qudrat recalled those days by saying, “The nights were even scarier, as the sounds of attacks and the showering of bombs shook the entire house”. Those days, intended for a trip of leisure, turned out to be days of frustrations. Another important aspect to be recognized in her story is Qudrat’s cultural traditions. As an Afghan-America woman, she was raised with less restricted Muslim customs. Qudrat could decide how to manage her life, whom to marry to, etc. However her father expected Qudrat to wear loose clothing that disguises her female body shape. “He expected me to in a very conservative fashion, wearing dark, formal colors, and clothing that was very boyish with no-style what so ever”. Her first successfully experience reading the Quran at her short age was the reflection of an intensive effort of Qudrat’s grandmother. Another interesting fact about Qudrat experience is the conversation taken place with in her university with Hashimi, an invited Afghan speaker guest. Hashimi explained Qudrat about Taliban ideologies
To summarize Qudrat rich history was introduced at childhood modeled her integrity. Afghan Islamic traditions, Quran’s studies, wedding traditional practices, and ceremonies, have enriched Qudrat intellectually and morally. On the other hand, the constant stereotyping of the Islamic cultural tradition has given her a difficult life, not only in Afghanistan, but also in America. Not only Qudrat’s parent has suffered the impact of violence in their country of origin, but also the violence and fear has trespassed frontiers arriving to America. Islamic culture is mostly considered as a whole as an extreme Islamic group dominated terror because of their extreme terrorist acts. I personally did not know about some of the Taliban ideologies before September 11. I obviously has met many friends of Islamic origins, and enjoyed greatly their magical culture. Islamic women dresses seems like taken from a magical fairy tale history of princesses, and princes in magical kingdom.

[Saoud Alshamisi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Torn between two cultures
“Torn between two cultures” describes the author’s experiences and stories about the struggle of Afghan people who immigrated to America post-Soviet war. In the book, she describes how she was raised in American society as a woman from an Afghan family with traditional values and religious beliefs. One of the main points she stated in her book was the truth of Islam. She played an important role in the book defending Islam and convincing the readers that it is the religion of peace. Also, she describes how confident she was in practicing the Mid-eastern culture in a Western Country. After reading her book, one can realize how women are treated in Islam with more respect, and the role they play in society. Women play a vital and prominent role in Islam even if that does not hold true for Middle Eastern cultural communities. When she visited her homeland she described how people in Afghanistan live in peace. This book really helped me because it describes what the reality of Islam is and gives people in the America and the world in general a much clearer view about Islam, Middle Eastern culture and regional politics. Also, the author talks about the birth of the Taliban, their roots and political goals. The book inspired me insofar as how she related here life experiences and the views on Islam.

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be an intelligent and thoughtful meditation on the Afghan-American experience. By weaving her own story as an American-born daughter of Afghan parents with stories of those who came to the U.S. during the wars in Afghanistan, the author shows us the great diversity of a people that are too often pigeonholed into a limited identity. When she describes (with candor and humor) her coming of age in the early 1990s, it is very interesting to see how perceptions of Muslims and Middle Easterners during the first Gulf War compare with perceptions now. The author also discusses in depth her views on the difference between Islam as the Koran presents it, as it is practiced by Muslims, and as it is viewed by those unfamiliar with the religion. It was heartening to read how her process of coming to her own understanding of Islam helped her see through many of the stereotypes that even she initially held about her religion and people, and how it gave her the strength and confidence to participate in practical solutions: becoming involved in community activism and working as an educator. Altogether, I thought this book did an excellent job at taking a very complex set of problems and sorting them out in an accessible, objective, and even-handed way. The author's project to encourage meaningful communication between the east and west is commendable.

[Sunaina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maryam Qudrat is an Afghan-American woman born in the Los Angeles in 1974. In Torn Between Two Cultures book she talks about her families and her own personal story as an American born daughter of afghan parents who immigrated to the U.S.A. during the Afghan-Soviet war. She describes the misunderstanding about Islam and truth of Islam because many people do not know what Islam is in reality. In her book, the author describes how she grew up in America and how going to Afghanistan was monumental to her life. She examines how to be a modern woman while preserving her traditional values which are as important to her as her religious and cultural heritage. This book is really amazing and I felt very touched by the author’s experiences.

[Sabah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Afghani-American woman struggles to balance both cultures.