Skeleton Flower: Things That Have Been Released and Set Free

by Kim Jonghyun

샤이니 종현, 소설책 '산하엽-흘러간, 놓아준 것들' 발간!
- 첫 솔로 콘서트 'THE STORY by JONGHYUN' 앞두고 소품집에 이어 소설책 발표!
- 종현만의 감성이 녹아있는 글과 사진을 만날 수 있는 특별한 책!

샤이니 종현(에스엠 엔터테인먼트 소속)이 첫 소설책 '산하엽-흘러간, 놓아준 것들'을 발간한다.

이번 소설책은 지난 17일 발매돼 좋은 반응을 얻고 있는 종현의 첫 소품집 '이야기 Op.1'에 수록된 '하루의 끝', '산하엽', 'U&I', '내일쯤' 등은 물론 '줄리엣', '알람시계', '늘 그 자리에', '상사병' 등 기존 샤이니의 곡까지 종현이 작사한 총 12곡의 비하인드 스토리를 모아 사랑과 이별에 관한 소설로 풀어낸 작품으로, 곡 타이틀로 구성된 챕터별 이야기와 가사의 연계성이 인상적이다.

또한 '산하엽-흘러간, 놓아준 것들'에는 종현의 글뿐만 아니라 직접 촬영하고 선택한 사진들이 함께 실려있어 종현만의 감성을 한층 더 가깝게 느낄 수 있다.

Genres: Fiction, Poetry, Romance, Mental Health, Drama, Love, Ebooks

169 pages, Hardcover

Published November 19, 2015

Reviews

[KLC · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not a fan of Kpop, so when I first got this book, I had no idea who Jonghyun was. I had heard of Shinee, but I didn't know any of their music. I bought this book because it had good reviews on every website I could find. After reading it, my unbiased opinion is that the reviews are not at all exaggerated.

This book is a great idea and perfectly executed. It's fictional stories based on the songs he wrote. Apparently the four characters are supposed to be different aspects of his personality/image. The pictures were taken by Jonghyun himself, which allows us to literally see the world from his perspective.

Part of me wishes Skeleton Flower would be translated into English for everyone who doesn't speak Korean, but I think a part of its charm would be lost. For example, there's a page that just has the lyrics of "Maybe Tomorrow" written out. On the next page, there are three pictures of the sky with the words "괜찮아" written three times. 괜찮아 can be translated as "I'm okay," "You're okay," "It's okay," "They're okay," etc, depending on the context. That allows the reader to add their own meaning to the story in a small way. In English, a pronoun has to be attached. Even if you say, "Okay," that has its own separate meaning. So, the translator would have to decide for themselves what context to give that phrase. That's just one example, and an admittedly poor one at that, but there are plenty more throughout the book. This seems like a crazy suggestion, but I would encourage you to learn Korean, even if only to read this book.

From the little amount I know about him now, it seems like Jonghyun desperately wanted to be understood. It's obvious, even for a casual fan, that he poured his heart and soul into everything he did. This book is no different. After reading it, I looked him up, excited to have a new writer/singer to follow, only to find out what happened to him. Absolutely devastating loss of a genius well before his time.

[venee jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

"As though to prove it was fate, the two people - who existed at the same time but in different spaces - simultaneously decided to set each other adrift, and to let go of the part of themselves that had once loved so passionately. As the music played, the man and woman wept at their complete farewell and embraced the other that they could not see. Only then did the two share their last goodbye.

And they promised to reminisce about each other occasionally and to ache only slightly and to long for each other faintly.

The next day,
he headed toward home, having emptied himself of five years' worth of time and memories in a single day.
And she, too, faced the beginning of an ordinary, though slightly wistful, day."

- p.162-164 // The End and Beyond.
translation by: @sullaem.
*
*
This page is my favorite from this book. I love every pages, but this one.. i feel like i have something special with it. With the way he choose the words and placed them prettily. 김종현.. I'm sorry that i was lacking so much as a fan. I know that I didn't try harder but from the bottom of my heart, i love you so much, more that you could imagine. I will always here, in our space that we've created together. You’ve worked hard. You did very well. You will forever be my pride. And if I could wish one thing, whether you went to eternal heaven or reborn, I just want you to be the happy one. To be Jonghyun, who can happily go out with friends, dating without worry and do whatever you love. And if you still want to become member of SHINee again (as you said before with the same member) I will support you no matter what! I will make sure to find you, and I love you again. I love you. Thank you for being a part of my youth. I'm so proud and honored to spent my pretty youth, stanning a poet and an artist like you ♡

[nya · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5

"The moment the rose-colored lenses of love come off is when all hell breaks loose."

I went to this book unbiased since the summary was in Korean, I couldn't judge it by its cover or synopsis. With that being said I read it fan translated from AO3

The book contains 12 chapters, each named after various songs Kim Jonghyun has written and sung in his group SHINee and as a solo artist. And I would assume that the book is named after the song Diphylleia grayi in his first compilation album JONGHYUN The Collection "Story OP.1" which I highly recommend listening to while reading.

Jonghyun ties these songs together into a story about past lovers and how their love story came to a bittersweet end. It feels raw and real, and I found myself in between his words. As Jonghyun says in the author's note, he wishes to give those 12 specific songs a new perspective and hopes the readers listen to those songs with this new story in mind.

The story bundles into many ways these past lovers try to make themselves forget each other while still longing for one another. The woman drowns herself to work whilst the man drinks himself to sleep. The resentment they both share for each other turns into longing, which turns into them trying to forget one another, and after many trials and errors, they finally let each other go.

"That beautiful era had passed, and nothing that belonged to it existed anymore.

The man and the woman thought of how they wanted to be happy and realized that for that to happen, it was time to let each other go."

Jonghyun comes in the story as the radio host/singer whom both the woman and man find comfort in. He is often shown to speak about (healthy) loneliness and sadness on his radio show that both the woman and the man frequently listen to. Those are also themes that he hasn't shied away from in his music.

"Being alone, I don't see it as something that simply disappears once you take care of it —— I am going through a healthy loneliness."

"It's alright to be sad for a while. Please come to me whenever. Because I'll be here."

This book had my heart ache as I could feel through the characters' different stages of a breakup. I felt numerous different emotions all the way from bitterness to sadness and from that, I began to understand that all of this was for their own good.

The book was so beautifully translated, and though I have yet to read the Korean version of this, the translator did a fantastic job interpreting and fitting Jonghyun's poetic nature into words in English. It's such a shame that it's not translated to English officially I'm looking at you **.

Skeleton Flower isn't just a book of references to his songs. It has connections to his personal life, and if I may reach a bit, I feel like all the characters in the story are bits and pieces of Jonghyun's own identity, of course, altered a bit. It's such a good read, and I hope that my review or the other reviews here will inspire more and more people to read this book.

[Miruna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did not read the original, as I do not know Korean, but was lucky enough to read the translation a shawol started a year ago and just recently completed on Jonghyun's birthday (here is the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146...). It's such a beautiful piece of work. I wept while reading almost every chapter. Getting to know him so closely, his way of thinking, his attention to details...just like he said in the author's note, this little novel is merely a way of presenting his songs and tying them together in a very humane and realistic story about love and loss. Thank you so much to the person who translated this, while I know that translations aren't the same as the original, he/she sure did a splendid job, and probably one that was emotionally draining as well. I, clearly, kind of feel emotionally drained right now. Maybe, one day, I will be able to read the original, but until then, I am more than pleased with what I read over the course of the last few months. Thank you for bringing Jonghyun closer to us. And Jonghyun, thank you so much for writing this and sharing a piece of that beautiful soul of yours. To me, you will never, ever be forgotten.

[Gelaregmail.Com · Rating 5 out of 5]

the skeleton flower ;things that have been released and set free. a true story about how the beloved writer have felt in his very last months. things we should have realized sooner to be able to help him from a deep depression. in the variety show "knowing bros" he said his fav sentence was the darkest one " at last depression got all his life and set him free. he was dead" REST IN PEACE KIM JONGHYUN...WE LOST HIM VERY SOON,READ HIS 1ST AND LAST EVER BOOK.

[Sumaiya S. Upoma · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Like a flower that falls as a little raindrop brushes by / You say those words like it’s nothing to you.”

I still remember that evening, four years ago, when I heard the news that Kim Jonghyun took his own life. Some people were saying, "He's not dead yet, the doctors haven't confirmed it", while others said, "He was confirmed dead just now". Amidst all that confusion about what to believe and what to not, what the hope for and what to not, the 13-year old me processed the suddenness of death for the very first time. It was, perhaps, his death that prepared me for all the loss I would encounter as the days go by.

I found myself being unable to listen to any of his songs in the years that followed, or even watch any videos he was in. In all the SHINee songs I loved dearly, his voice would be there, distinctly gorgeous, so smeared with emotions. But of course, as time sprinted on, the pain reduced and the music just became music again. 2021, I think, is the first time the SHINee members started talking about him more openly and freely since his death in 2017. With that, they showed they have moved on with him in their hearts, and maybe that affirmation helped me transfer his memories from that of pain to that of love. So I thought, what better time is there to read his book?

“A person’s heart is truly deceitful, you know. While it does not belong to me, I long to own it, yet in reality, when I do get my hands on it, it starts to wither like a plucked flower.”

And so I did. It was a short, smooth read about heartbreak, longing, loneliness, and love. It was about a man and a woman whose 5 years worth of love had dried out like unwatered flower petals. As they processed the end of their love with feelings that lingered and memories that oppressed, the man and the woman navigated through their daily lives as normally as they could. Eventually, they managed to let go of each other, bid the emotional farewell which is much more difficult than the physical one. This whole process, so full of longing and grappling with reality, was depicted so beautifully, so rawly. It was wonderful to read.

“Such as the ocean returns to stillness after a sweeping storm, the woman’s heart seemingly shaking non-stop, too, quieted down. She could not know when that would abruptly change again, but for now, she was alright. He was, slow and surely, being erased from her.”

This book was written in such simple prose, yet it pulled every string in my heart. At times, it was calming to read, other times comforting. Like a pat in the back that it's okay to take a break when things are too hard. I have never been in love nor have I ever went through a breakup, but my empathy and Jonghyun's poetic writing was deep enough for me to feel their pain. Perhaps it would have clutched my heart more if I had gone through those experience, but this is enough for now. What he wanted to say has reached me, and I couldn't be more grateful.

“Hm······ I think about loneliness. It’s a little past two and a half in the morning, then it’s too late to start a conversation with anyone, so I lament that.”

The loneliness depicted in this book is what resonated with me the most. Through the radio show runner and the man, two different sides of loneliness was shown—the healthy one and the unhealthy one. I found myself in both of them. Sometimes I embrace it as an inherent part of my existence, other times I desperately try to crawl away from it's periphery. And the fact that this was the kind of loneliness Jonghyun too, like most of us, must have felt reminded me once again just how important it is to always reach out to the people you love and care about.

Skeleton Flower: Things That Have Been Released and Set Free, is a window to a deep corner of Jonghyun's heart, one that the world failed to see until it was too late. I see him in a new glow now, with a deeper understanding than before, and while I will never know him fully, I know he was a good man. He had a good heart, one filled with music and love and kindness. I hope he will be remembered with the same. Truly a lost gem of the Korean music industry, but a gem nonetheless, that will remain precious for as long as songs exist.

To end this review, here is one of my most favorite excerpts from one of the poems in this book.

“If you’re still embarrassed of showing me all your wounds, then please just hug me tightly.

Even if I don’t see your scars, I want to feel them through your skin to know you entirely, and I believe so do you.”

[Anna Klein · Rating 4 out of 5]

jesus. this is so lovely. the core theme of only being able to love once you release what you were trying to love… very ibsen. reminds me of his play “the lady from the sea,” which brings up similar ideas in a more familial context. it’s poignant in its simplicity, this love paradox, just like kim jonghyun’s story. its characters are nameless (with the exception of the dogs! beautiful choice), yet he makes the reader care and feel for them, perhaps because of how universal their emotions are.

kim jonghyun also plays with the metaliterary, making his own self visible in the figure of the radio singer first and foremost, a character who resonates with jonghyun’s artistic persona extremely intimately. there’s shades of him in the other characters as well, though, and all of them converge in a narrative that interweaves lyrics, prose and essay-like musings disguised as conversations. in fact –and i’m not saying this just because i’m reading her right now–, skeleton flower feels a little like what a sally rooney novelette could be. obviously, the connection is hardly intentionate, but there are strong echoes of her latest novel “beautiful world, where are you,” especially in the seamless way prose and nonfiction are interwoven.

this was a very pleasant experience that didn’t only come across as a prose narrative, but that incorporated music, radio broadcasting, essay and poetry into it in various ways. it’s a very unique piece, hard to describe and easy to enjoy. i wish it was longer—i think the themes and characters could have benefitted from a longer word count. still, i appreciate this little gem for what it is and invite you to give it a read, regardless of whether you’re familiar with its author or not.

[Lunabookaddict · Rating 5 out of 5]

No word to describe how much I love it even if it's a re-read

[Alisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this as a new Shawol wanting to feel closer to a wonderful man that i never had the chance to know. I honestly have no regrets. This book was a relaxing read yet it left such an impact. There are so many relatable and memorable quotes which I could not help but save for future reference. Perhaps I will need a shoulder to lean on, comfort which only his words could bring. Whether it be his lyrics or his words, he will forever touch the hearts and minds of anyone that comes across his work. He is a comfort to many and will live on through his wonderful work.

Thank you Jonghyun, rest well angel 💙

[zuz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nowa comfort książka, mimo że wylało się na nią hektolitry łez. Świetne połączenie muzyki z historią, każdy tytuł rozdziału nawiązuje do piosenki, którą napisał i choć pierwszy raz przeczytałam ją w ciszy, to definitywnie po jakimś czasie wrócę do niej ze zrozumianymi już tekstami utworów do jakich jest nawiązanie. Jednocześnie piękne ukazanie miłości jako tej jednej jedynej w życiu, od której jednak zarówno mężczyzna jak i kobieta musieli się uwolnić.



"As if proof of fate, the two of them in different places and at the same time, decided to release each other, set free the warm love they once had."

[Amira · Rating 5 out of 5]

“A healthy loneliness, you say. It sure is an interesting way to put it.”
“You think so? I think this type of thing is necessary. A way of consoling yourself that only you know. On some days you feel lonely, on some days you’re exhausted, and in others you feel stupid, pathetic even. Of course, there are many happy days too. The important thing is, while the remaining days of our lives seem to stretch out to no end, you need something that can always soothe your emotions. Whether my days are happy or sad, I don’t single them out. As my mixed-up emotions slowly settle down, it’s like the overall image of my feelings that day even out. I might enjoy these dramatic things, but I’d prefer if the beginning and the ending are balanced, you know. Anything could work for you too, journalist-nim. It does not have to be as complicated as me. In whatever way, if you arrange to end your every day similarly, it will ease your mind.”
She had to stop to think for a moment.
Because he answered that question so sincerely that she wanted to give back a question in proper weight. At this point, she had long realized they could speak honestly with no reservations. Therefore, she decided to talk about herself.
“I sympathize with what you said about having something to balance your emotions. Could you please recommend one of your songs for people like me? On a day when we feel lonely and tired, or a day we feel stupid and pathetic, a song that is good to listen to in this kind of day.”
“If you’re lonely and exhausted and having a hard day••••••. There is a tune you’d like in this situation. It’s also related to our conversation. Among my songs there is ‘End of a Day’, please consider listening to it. It would be a great honor to me if someone listened to this song while finishing their day.”

[Chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

took me a while, but i got there.

thank you for sharing something so special, you truly were a poet and even though you didn’t think it, an artist. thank you for the music, too. always. thank you for your voice to accompany these words.

you put so much into this and i’m so lucky to have experienced it. it was so beautiful, most of the words felt like they were coming out of my own mouth, and i understand. thank you for giving us something to share, thank you for staying with me for a while as i went through these pages, they truly were special.

i love you and i always will. i miss you. you did well. so, so well. rest now. i love you.

[Alaska · Rating 5 out of 5]

"at last depression got all his life and set him free."

[ari · Rating 5 out of 5]

as a shawol i might be a bit biased but!! i truly regret not picking this up sooner.
the entire book feels very raw and real. two past lovers trying to forget one another and go on with their lives. in the meanwhile - falling into their old habits, but finally being able to let go.

“It is extremely pitiful. We, who were once so hot, eventually ended up in a relationship which is far from warm – not quite lukewarm nor cold, but of a temperature only ambiguous enough to sting.”

each chapter has a corresponding song written and/or composed by jonghyun - listening to those while reading really adds to the experience. in the author’s note jonghyun mentions the 12 songs and how he wanted to give them a new perspective - hence this story.
i truly felt my heart ache while reading it, even if you don’t know who shinee or jonghyun is - i highly recommend taking a while to read it.

“Being alone, I don’t see it as something that simply disappears once you take care of it. It’s just like a shadow that follows you through life, see. Still, some days I feel the need of a pat on the shoulder, and since the things I told you before comfort me greatly, I am going through a healthy loneliness.”

i hope one day i'll be able to read it in it's original form. just to understand him better<3

[karina ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

rest in peace, kim jonghyun ♡

[lette · Rating 5 out of 5]

as i am writing this, i’m acutely aware of the fact there are very few reviews for skeleton flower: things that have been released and set free on goodreads. despite this fact- and despite the fact that this review (perhaps ‘letter’ would be a more honest term for it) will be incredibly personal- i am writing this anyway.

i first read this on a summer evening last year. i remember this vividly because it was an incredibly warm evening and once i had finished reading it- teary eyed and a little overwhelmed- i opened the window of my bedroom and there was a crescent moon hanging in the sky, shining gold. anyone who knows who kim jonghyun is would be aware of the beautiful significance this had.

anyway, i have just finished reading it for a second time. again, i read an english translation- so it is arguable that some intent may have been lost. however, i object to this as something that hinders the experience of reading the book in any way, as what i did read was so beautiful and it was so special.

“i hope that this book in it’s ambiguous genre as a novel, lyrics, or essay, can become your own story with him and her and me.” this is something jonghyun wrote in the author’s note of the book. i think it’s safe to say skelton flower: things that have been released and set free has become its own story for me. one i have with him.

jonghyun has written some of my favourite words of all time through his lyrics. this is is what drew me to him when i first discovered him and his beautiful music. not to be too much of a romanticist (although i think it’s only natural for me to be so in such a review— "‘you bloody romanticist…’ came the woman’s voice in a whisper.") and reference percy bysshe shelley, but my feelings towards jonghyun are that of the moth for the star. the painful ache in my chest that is there when i read his words will most likely never fade. it is a bittersweet blend of missing him so greatly i am unsure on how to comprehend the grief and being infinitely grateful that he had the opportunity to share his wonderful words with the world.

skeleton flower: things that have been released and set free immortalises a little part of jonghyun. i am lucky to have been able to experience this. the novel has a mere four characters- each of these characters are a reflection of jonghyun in some way. this contributes to the text as something so incredibly personal and so inexplicably true. the story is beautiful, heartbreaking and devastating. it is universal and thoughtful. like i said, it is a little piece of him. a snapshot of his incredible life that has been gifted by him to the world.

i am not a writer in the way jonghyun was and merely talking about him, let alone writing about him, is something i find difficult. for no reason other than i struggle to articulate how much he means to me in a way i feel does justice. therefore, i’ll finish this review/letter here, with this: i think, whether you know who jonghyun is or not, skeleton flower: things that have been released and set free should be a book on your TBR. my very evident bias toward him and my determination to keep his legacy alive by screaming his name from every rooftop i am to stand on put aside, jonghyun was a truly phenomenal writer. this book is one that is packed with meaning; it is something to be felt.

thank you, jonghyun, for writing this novel and for sharing such love with the world.

[Makayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and I definitely learned a lot from it. There are a lot of comforting words within it I think that that was his goal when he released it. Whenever I read it, I feel like he is still here. I think that his book, along with his music, is a way that we can still connect with him. I really do miss him a lot, but I know that he is still with us. Thank you for everything you've done for us. Your book is a special comfort to us whenever we feel troubled. You did well, and we can never thank you enough. Rest well, Jonghyun.

[Gaby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, warm, sad, a little nostalgic. I loved it. It’s so Jonghyun, like having a conversation with him. I could hear his voice clearly through every chapter and his songs...
Review to come.

[❤️‍&#x1fa79; · Rating 5 out of 5]

시간이 지나
Time passes


There’s no original translation, since Jonghyun didn’t want this book translated because he thought it would make it lose its original meaning and wouldn’t portray the emotions correctly, and i think he was right!

This book focuses on the life of a young woman (여자) who just broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years (남자). She’s struggling to move on and is also struggling with prioritising herself. The man is also struggling with moving on, and he’s just trying to get through all of this by drinking, oh and he’s depressed.

There’s also a character that’s explicitly modelled after Jonghyun himself, he’s referred to as the singer (가수). The voice of the singer appears throughout the story as radio monologues (he’s also a dj), these monologues act as a source of comfort for the woman and the man.

“Being alone, I don’t see it as something that simply disappears once you take care of it. It’s just like a shadow that follows you through life, see. Still, some days I feel the need of a pat on the shoulder, and since the things I told you before comfort me greatly, I am going through a healthy loneliness.”

Every chapter is named after a song that Jonghyun has written, he’s basically trying to incorporate the story behind these songs in these chapters… And he uses the lyrics! I just think that’s amazing, like wow this book really is a piece of art guys.

‘Let’s cheer up. Tomorrow will be better.’
I always wrap up by saying that but today I don’t want to.
It’s alright to only cheer up by tomorrow. No, it’s okay if it’s only after tomorrow too.
It’s alright to be sad for a while. Please come to me whenever. Because I’ll be here.

Chapter 12 is the last chapter, and it’s named after the song Diphylleia grayi.
By coincidence, the man and the woman both listen to Jonghyun his radio at the same time, and ofcourse, the song that plays is Diphylleia grayi!!!
While listening to this song, the man and the woman both realise that they want to be happy, and for that to happen they both need to let eachother go and move on (no matter how hard it might be).

Now i’m not good at reviewing books, and definitely not a book like this but wow. This book was truly a piece of art, and i truly truly truly wish i knew how to read korean just so i could read this in its original language and truly experience this the way jonghyun wanted everyone to experience it. this is just beautiful

시간이 지나

[aprinda. · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 perfect stars. I really like this novel, a lot.
He wrote this book with ambition. And I read it with love and proud.

Sebuah novel tanpa sinopsis, dan tanpa terjemahan bahasa inggris.

Jujur, aku membeli novel ini karena aku penggemar berat beliau sebagai seorang penyanyi, komposer, dan seorang DJ.

Aku beli novel ini sekitar 4 tahun yang lalu dan kusimpan rapi di rak buku —bersamaan dengan album beliau. Kenapa nggak aku baca setelah bertahun-tahun?

Kendala bahasa menjadi salah satu alasan, karena novelnya hanya tersedia dalam satu bahasa saja, yakni bahasa ibunya. Sekali aku coba menerjemahkan sendiri, kepalaku pusing dan hanya menangkap maknanya di beberapa bagian saja.
Tak juga menyerah, aku coba menerjemahkan dengan bantuan google translator. Hasilnya, malah bikin kepalaku tambah pusing.

Sebetulnya, aku sudah mencoba kesana kemari mancari translator yang bisa menerjemahkan novel ini. Tapi, nihil.

Barulah beberapa minggu ini aku menemukan mbak translator baik hati (at sigani_jina) di twitter yang mau membagi hasil terjemahannya.

Aku baru memberanikan diri untuk membacanya minggu ini dan akhirnya bisa selesai tanpa hambatan.

Rasanya betul-betul campur aduk. Di awal cerita, aku disuguhi dengan perpisahan sepasang kekasih. Sampai di pertengahan, aku dihibur dengan kisah manis kedua pasangan tersebut di masa lalu. Sangat manis, sampai membuatku jadi meleleh.

Akhir cerita, aku dihadapkan kembali dengan pahitnya kenyataan. Ya, betul sekali, kenyataan bahwa kedua pasangan tersebut telah berpisah.

Di sini, beliau menempatkan dirinya sebagai tokoh penyanyi. Berinteraksi dengan si tokoh utama wanita tanpa nama, yang bekerja sebagai jurnalis. Unik.

Menariknya, si jurnalis belajar banyak hal dari penyanyi ini lewat interview-nya dan siaran radio yang didengarnya; belajar untuk menikmati kesepian, rasa lelah, dan keikhlasan.

Aku sempat mengira bahwa ceritanya akan berakhir dengan bahagia, tapi malah sebaliknya yang kudapat. Ya, aku tidak kepikiran sama sekali dengan judulnya. Padahal judul novel ini menyiratkan endingnya.

Yang membuat novel ini jadi sempurna di mataku, karena beliau membuat cerita per chapternya berdasarkan lagu-lagu yang ia tulis.

[Tess Brennan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonghyun’s such a multitalented man, i listened to songs he wrote that the chapters were named after during.

“Throughout our lives, there are things so glaring that we can’t avoid them.
And there are also those which aren’t visible to the eye, but are always with us.
Like the petals of this flower.”

“Being alone, I don’t see it as something that simply disappears once you take care of it. It’s just like a shadow that follows you through life”

Dang too many great quotes. Reread because sad, obviously. I would kill for this to have an official translation/publishing but I doubt it will ever happen

[NAJWA SHAFIEKA]

i love jonghyun...rest in peace

[Tharini Sk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love him.

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

he makes me feel less lonely

[Soulinpages · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just started to read this and I'm going to review it chapter-wise.

I don't speak or read Korean so I'm reading a fan-translated version (https://archiveofourown.org/works/146...). Thank you sigani_jina.
---------------------------------------------
Jonghyun's last words were 'let me go'. So, I hope he's in a better place now.
Jonghyun, you did well. :)
--------------------------------------------
Chapter 1:

"Love is a clown changing its mask many times who had ample time to play with those two."

SHINee's Jonghyun was a phenomenal songwriter, and you can see that Jonghyun in places but it's not the same. There are some sentences where his writing really shines but the rest of it is unfortunately drab in comparison. Maybe it's the translation that is to be blamed. Nonetheless, this chapter is insightful, mature, and very real.



Chapter 2:

"Endlessly romantic while still infinitely selfish."

"Loneliness is not a feeling of sorrow for me. Rather, I would say I enjoy loneliness."

“Being alone, I don’t see it as something that simply disappears once you take care of it. It’s just like a shadow that follows you through life, see. Still, some days I feel the need for a pat on the shoulder, and since the things I told you before comfort me greatly, I am going through healthy loneliness.”

This second chapter is wonderful. It is beautiful, nuanced, and simply perfect. This is how Kim Jonghyun lives on: His writing. He has an unparalleled 'it' factor that is glorious. If I could quote the entire chapter, I would.



Chapter 3:

“Don’t force yourself to cry.”

This was a weird chapter. Actually, the letter was weird. Instead of being deep, it came across as pseudo-deep. Maybe it's the writing. Or maybe it's the lack of a back story. Who knows, let's see how this goes.



Chapter 4:

“They left each other for their best, so now he could not just call her to ease his loneliness.”

This is a very short chapter and I love the maturity.



Chapter 5:

“The scene of a strange woman holding a little white umbrella under the rain, playing with his dog, laughing.”

More backstory. Yay! Infatuation at its best.



Chapter 6:

“Struggling in a chronic depression, the man eventually turned to escapism from reality.”

"The man had fallen for her at first sight, the first one to fall in love. Ever the impulsive decision-maker, the man was caught up in his emotions. Is there a mistake as deadly as putting one’s own feelings before the others? The woman rejected the young man’s confession, and he was stupidly wounded. However, the man’s heart was already in too deep to let the woman go like that."

This chapter shows contrasting emotions so well. That being said, the man is erring on the side of creepy rather than romantic.

"Could I really be deluded as she said? Am I getting too ahead of myself? Or could it be that I’m looking for any person to love because I’m bored?"

And the self-realization kicks in. Thank goodness.

"For the moment, his heart, out of answers, wondered whether this was love, and decided that the desire, longing, curiosity for her that spread through his body were clearly love."

Sigh. Conflicting emotions on point.



Chapter 7:

After I, feverish in love, infect you with my illness,
I pass it on and you will be warmer,
So that again you will pass it on, and I’ll be even hotter,
Come into my clothes and be infected with love’s fever.

I'm simply concerned. The pace seems a bit too fast. I'm surprised it lasted 5 years.



Chapter 8:

Greedy as it may be,
Eat together even if he jokes that she looks like a pig,
And hold his hand just because she can, even without wanting to,
And look into each other’s eyes even if it’s lifeless,
And listen to his charming words even if they sound like nagging,
Kiss him, even if it just feels like a habit...

I can't rave enough about Jonghyun. I read that all characters in this book were different versions of himself. Basically, a romance between a practical and a whimsical part of him. He communicates the complexity of human emotions perfectly. The longing for love, the pessimistic denial, the fear of dependency, the impossible selfishness, everything.



Chapter 9:

"Even the ring that was too troublesome to wear while we were together is now stuck on my finger."

It hurts to stay together and it hurts to stay apart. The sad truth about not being able to move on.



Chapter 10:

"It’s alright to only cheer up by tomorrow."

Take how much ever time you need and ask for help if you need it.



Chapter 11:

"...the man was overcome with relief that he did not see coming, and their relationship remained unchanged."

This man is a genius. The complexity of emotions. His first book and he writes so well. Sadly, it's his only book.



Chapter 12:

"The man and the woman thought of how they wanted to be happy, and realized that for that to happen, it was time to let each other go."

This was a perfect conclusion. Throughout the whole book, there is only one name: Dani. And it's a dog's name. And I thought that was very creative and smart. You can be Her, you can be Him, or you can be them Both. Similar places can mean different things. Different places can mean similar things.



Chapter 13: Author's Note.

"Even though this is just a loose piece of writing, I hope that this book in its ambiguous genre as novel, lyrics, or essay, can become your own story with him and her and me."

Kim Jonghyun, you did well.
---------------------------------------------
I'm not sure who needs to hear it but I'm going to say it anyway:
If you're looking for a reason to continue living, I'm sorry, you won't be able to find it. People don't live because of a reason, people live because there is nothing else to do. People live because the familiarity of living is reassuring and it outweighs the fear of the unknown. Death is inevitable but it is also a mystery. You are anyway going to die, you might as well experience living. Life is not a race to reach death as fast as you can.
-----------------------------------------------
I just realized that (other than patients) I personally know too many people of different ages and genders who suffer from depression and they have very different stories. This is what I learned about depression and suicide.
1. 'Why?' doesn't matter when it comes to depression.
2. You will never know the whole story behind a suicide.
3. People may be surrounded and loved by hundreds and still be depressed.
4. There may be no signs and no reason for suicide.
5. The only way to help is just 'do the best you can'.
-----------------------------------------------
This book reminded be two kdramas, so, if you have the time, check them out.
1. Romance is a Bonus Book.
2. It's Okay to Not be Okay.
--------------------------------------------
Support SHINee and Jonghyun.

[Nisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

"A love nurtured from the breast of loneliness knows no fulfilment."

The idea for this book (which is also somehow a collection of poems, essays and streams of consciousness) - to give 12 of Jonghyun's own songs a fresh perspective and to weave these songs together into a story of two lovers working through heartbreak - is one of the most experimental things I've read, and it is executed brilliantly.

Listening to the songs while reading the respective chapters named after them definitely helps, and adds character and context to the story. Knowing Jonghyun as a long-term fan adds additional layers of meaning to the characters and themes in the story. One can tell that he wrote the characters in his own image, and discusses themes such as loneliness, heartbreak, grief and weariness with the same nuance and specificity with which he explored these themes in real life through his songs and radio show (Blue Night), giving the book an autobiographical feel as well.

So many thoughts and emotions described in this book genuinely felt like they had been taken out of my own head and heart. The examples, moods, and emotions that Jonghyun explores are both infinitesimal and infinite in their meaning, and really captures a very specific experience of loneliness, loss and love, which has always resonated with me, and which I'm sure will resonate with many more people. And I say this while having read only the translated version (in English) on AO3, which I thought was really well done.

I do think however, that some of the poignancy and nuance is lost in translation, as I had a feeling of something being "missing" while reading the book in English. I'm excited to receive my copy of the book so that I experience it in its entirety (apparently it has photographs taken by Jonghyun himself, and other visual art interwoven with the story) and in its original language (although my grasp of Korean is basic at best, I think this would be a good way to learn the language better).

I'm just extremely grateful to have lived within the same time and space as Jonghyun. His music and presence have always been a huge comfort, and some part of me will always carry the pain of losing him the way we did. Nevertheless, I am extremely thankful and feel very privileged to have all of his music and his other works whenever I need to find comfort and a space to feel understood, and for his legacy to live on in his works.

수고했어요 종현. You did well.

[the cerulean.gif™ · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, I am impressed with your work, Jonghyun. Thank you.

[Anna♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Գեղեցիկ շարադրված գիրք էր ու մեծ հաճույքով եմ կարդացել, հեղինակին որպես երգիչ ու արտիստ շատ էի սիրում ու հիմա է՛լ ավելի շատ սկսեցի սիրել:

[Sam]

❤️‍🩹

[Zuzana899 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poetic. Just like he was. An amazing Poet/Artist