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Painkiller
I cannot go on like this. I feel such a burden to you. You are young and can start again. You deserve that chance. By the time you read this I will be dead. Do not grieve for me, for I am now without pain.
Yours truly for ever,
Monica
Monica suffers from chronic neuropathic pain.Every second of her life is spent in agony and there are years of her life which are a blur to her.
But when she finds a suicide note written in her handwriting she begins to question everything.
If someone tried to kill her once what's to say they won't try again.
A read in one sitting, edge of your seatime psychological thriller for fans of Girl on the Train and Before I go to Sleep
Yours truly for ever,
Monica
Monica suffers from chronic neuropathic pain.Every second of her life is spent in agony and there are years of her life which are a blur to her.
But when she finds a suicide note written in her handwriting she begins to question everything.
If someone tried to kill her once what's to say they won't try again.
A read in one sitting, edge of your seatime psychological thriller for fans of Girl on the Train and Before I go to Sleep
394 pages, Paperback
First published February 18, 2016
21 people are currently reading
490 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
September 3, 2019
A very dark psychological suspense that will definitely have up up all night turning pages.
Monica is in so much pain that even the painkillers doesn’t work most days.
We get to sit and walk through Monica’s daily life with her heartache pain and confusion with the added things that happen where she has no recollection.
It’s a slow progressive story but sure to be enjoyed by many readers who love a good twist in its tail.
Like I did.
Monica is in so much pain that even the painkillers doesn’t work most days.
We get to sit and walk through Monica’s daily life with her heartache pain and confusion with the added things that happen where she has no recollection.
It’s a slow progressive story but sure to be enjoyed by many readers who love a good twist in its tail.
Like I did.
March 18, 2016
My View:
This novel starts with a great hook – the reader is plunged into Monica’s world of constant nerve pain – for those who have never suffered nerve pain - it is a pain like no other, nothing relieves it, prescribed pain killers/ drugs mess with your mind, sleep is your only escape that is if you can manage to get to sleep. Monica’s pain is chronic and constant. I know this place that Monica inhabits, though my nerve pain is not as extreme and does eventual resolve itself.
And so we are introduced to Monica, to her pain, her unreliable memories, and her life. The discovery of a suicide note that she thinks she may or may not have penned adds to a constant suspicion the reader feels that there is something else going on here, something not quite right. This feeling grows stronger the longer we stay in Monica’s world. Monica is a wonderfully engaging, resourceful, heroic female protagonist.
I love the unreliable narrator. I love the twists and turns, they hit you with a knock out punch! The ending is superb.
All in all a great narrative, the unreliable narrator works its magic effectively and seductively – you just want to know what is really happening. I had the occasional short period of reading when I could no longer suspend my disbelief but these periods were minimal and I was able to continue my enjoyment of this script. This is a brilliant addition to my collection of domestic noir!
This novel starts with a great hook – the reader is plunged into Monica’s world of constant nerve pain – for those who have never suffered nerve pain - it is a pain like no other, nothing relieves it, prescribed pain killers/ drugs mess with your mind, sleep is your only escape that is if you can manage to get to sleep. Monica’s pain is chronic and constant. I know this place that Monica inhabits, though my nerve pain is not as extreme and does eventual resolve itself.
And so we are introduced to Monica, to her pain, her unreliable memories, and her life. The discovery of a suicide note that she thinks she may or may not have penned adds to a constant suspicion the reader feels that there is something else going on here, something not quite right. This feeling grows stronger the longer we stay in Monica’s world. Monica is a wonderfully engaging, resourceful, heroic female protagonist.
I love the unreliable narrator. I love the twists and turns, they hit you with a knock out punch! The ending is superb.
All in all a great narrative, the unreliable narrator works its magic effectively and seductively – you just want to know what is really happening. I had the occasional short period of reading when I could no longer suspend my disbelief but these periods were minimal and I was able to continue my enjoyment of this script. This is a brilliant addition to my collection of domestic noir!
February 18, 2016
Late night finishing this book last night (insomnia does have some positives!) as it is one of those where you have to keep reading to find out what the hell is going on!! This is my favourite type of book, an atmospheric, creepy psychological suspense that builds up to an OMG moment when all becomes clear.
Monica wakes up....this is how most chapters start. She is living with chronic pain since an accident 5 years ago. Her husband is her carer but he has to work to support them as Monica is no longer is able to work as a high flying theatrical agent. Her days are passed in a haze of pain and memory loss due to her medication. On one of her good days she finds a suicide note.....a note she doesn't remember writing.
This is a fabulous study into living with chronic pain. It's very difficult to imagine not just being in that much pain but having to live with it day after day after day. N J Fountain does a brilliant job of bringing it to life here with Monica so that you really empathise with her as she tries to live a normal life, she is desperate to live that life but knows it has gone forever. This is a slow burner which totally works as we feel we are there, trying to work things through with Monica, willing her to remember her life and hoping that one day it will return to her. The book also has an underlying dark and very black humour at times, something I have found is also used as a tool by people who are terminally or chronically ill. It has been incredibly well researched as well and I found the details about treatments for chronic pain absolutely fascinating!
If you enjoyed Before I go to Sleep I think you will love this book, it has that same creepy build up and I think most people will want to read this in as few a sittings as possible! So clear yourselves an afternoon and lose yourself in Monica's painfully existence while you will her to find out the truth about her life.
Highly recommended 4.5* from me.
I received a copy of this book via netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
Monica wakes up....this is how most chapters start. She is living with chronic pain since an accident 5 years ago. Her husband is her carer but he has to work to support them as Monica is no longer is able to work as a high flying theatrical agent. Her days are passed in a haze of pain and memory loss due to her medication. On one of her good days she finds a suicide note.....a note she doesn't remember writing.
This is a fabulous study into living with chronic pain. It's very difficult to imagine not just being in that much pain but having to live with it day after day after day. N J Fountain does a brilliant job of bringing it to life here with Monica so that you really empathise with her as she tries to live a normal life, she is desperate to live that life but knows it has gone forever. This is a slow burner which totally works as we feel we are there, trying to work things through with Monica, willing her to remember her life and hoping that one day it will return to her. The book also has an underlying dark and very black humour at times, something I have found is also used as a tool by people who are terminally or chronically ill. It has been incredibly well researched as well and I found the details about treatments for chronic pain absolutely fascinating!
If you enjoyed Before I go to Sleep I think you will love this book, it has that same creepy build up and I think most people will want to read this in as few a sittings as possible! So clear yourselves an afternoon and lose yourself in Monica's painfully existence while you will her to find out the truth about her life.
Highly recommended 4.5* from me.
I received a copy of this book via netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
January 3, 2017
Monica Wood is awake in the spare room with her ‘angry friend’, the constant pain she suffers, when she finds a suicide note, written by herself some four years previously. She has no memory of the note or the events leading up to it because the medication she takes to control the pain have wiped parts of her memory, what is left is often completely out of her grasp. In the morning she shows the note to her devoted husband Dominic who agrees that she wrote it, and then on her bidding throws it away.
I read a little further and reading the oh so accurate sounding descriptions not only of the pain, but the effect it has on Monica’s life had me hooked, well that and wanting to know what the accident was that had caused the pain in the first place and the mystery around the suicide note.
N.J. Fountain has created a world where it is impossible to grasp exactly what has happened due to Monica’s pain but nevertheless this is a world I wanted to understand. There is a deep sense of foreboding from that first page and it is that feeling that had me sucked deeper into this woman’s world. Monica hadn’t always been in pain, five years previously she had been an agent for actors and the grit and determination that got her there, shine through from time to time. This stops the book being as utterly depressing as I had feared when I was contemplating putting it to one side.
With the book being focussed, as is Monica, on pain it is unsurprising that there are doctors to meet, one of my favourite scenes is where Monica summed up their attitude, with their unrelenting positivity and the feeling that the patient should not spoil their act, so become some sort of stand-up act to keep the dialogue moving. I’ve sat in that very position at times, and have wondered what came over me.
The short chapters, living with Monica as she discovers new things about herself, as she grapples over the scene of her accident and watching her interactions with her best friend Angelina, her osteopath Niall and her husband Dominic we get to build a picture up of both the woman she once was, and the one she is now – where the two versions of Monica meet is part of the puzzle.
This is one of those books that begs to be read in as few possible sittings as possible as befits a certain type of psychological fiction. This has the dual effect of immersing you in a different world, one that is full of suspicion, apprehension and unpredictable events and letting yourself roll with the story, and what a story it is! The plot is convoluted full of misdirection and red herrings, just
the way I like my psychological thrillers and while the ending isn’t totally unbelievable, it did take a small hop of faith to go with it. That said, I didn’t see it coming and I couldn’t help but be impressed by the dexterity of pulling everything that had gone before, together.
I read a little further and reading the oh so accurate sounding descriptions not only of the pain, but the effect it has on Monica’s life had me hooked, well that and wanting to know what the accident was that had caused the pain in the first place and the mystery around the suicide note.
N.J. Fountain has created a world where it is impossible to grasp exactly what has happened due to Monica’s pain but nevertheless this is a world I wanted to understand. There is a deep sense of foreboding from that first page and it is that feeling that had me sucked deeper into this woman’s world. Monica hadn’t always been in pain, five years previously she had been an agent for actors and the grit and determination that got her there, shine through from time to time. This stops the book being as utterly depressing as I had feared when I was contemplating putting it to one side.
With the book being focussed, as is Monica, on pain it is unsurprising that there are doctors to meet, one of my favourite scenes is where Monica summed up their attitude, with their unrelenting positivity and the feeling that the patient should not spoil their act, so become some sort of stand-up act to keep the dialogue moving. I’ve sat in that very position at times, and have wondered what came over me.
The short chapters, living with Monica as she discovers new things about herself, as she grapples over the scene of her accident and watching her interactions with her best friend Angelina, her osteopath Niall and her husband Dominic we get to build a picture up of both the woman she once was, and the one she is now – where the two versions of Monica meet is part of the puzzle.
This is one of those books that begs to be read in as few possible sittings as possible as befits a certain type of psychological fiction. This has the dual effect of immersing you in a different world, one that is full of suspicion, apprehension and unpredictable events and letting yourself roll with the story, and what a story it is! The plot is convoluted full of misdirection and red herrings, just
the way I like my psychological thrillers and while the ending isn’t totally unbelievable, it did take a small hop of faith to go with it. That said, I didn’t see it coming and I couldn’t help but be impressed by the dexterity of pulling everything that had gone before, together.
November 20, 2016
**3.5 stars**
Painkiller was one of those addictive bang through novels that you just cannot put down and for the most part I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not without its problems for me though, however the premise from which we start is highly intriguing and somewhat emotional.
Monica lives with chronic pain. The HUGE strength of this book is how that is put across, through her words, through her actions and changing attitudes, she is not particularly likeable but extraordinarily sympathetic. I like the way the author starts with "I wake up" and then takes us through a plethora of different emotions, pain levels and acceptance v denial. Extremely well done.
The mystery element is well plotted through the majority- Monica has memory issues due to the immense amounts of medication she has to take and its possible her husband is not as loving as she thinks, her friends may not be entirely trustworthy and those she interacts with may not always have her best interests at heart. Therein lies the hook, that addictive sense as you race through the pages to find out the truth.
Clever misdirection, an off kilter reality, mostly seen through the filter of Monica and her pain, the twists and turns in Painkiller are beautifully placed and unpredictable which of course makes it fascinating and engaging. However...
My problem came with the ultimate resolution. I found it a little over convoluted, the last little bit was a maelstrom of rather ragged sprints to the finish line that were slightly overwhelming and not always as believable as the rest of the novel had been up until that point. That is not to say the finale was unlikely to the extreme, more that I felt it was rather banged together. But you know, sometimes these things can runaway with you.
Overall though Painkiller was a thought provoking, nicely done psychological thriller with a different starting premise that gave it an edge over others that I have seen lately. I would recommend it. You'll be slightly breathless by the end...
Painkiller was one of those addictive bang through novels that you just cannot put down and for the most part I thoroughly enjoyed it. Not without its problems for me though, however the premise from which we start is highly intriguing and somewhat emotional.
Monica lives with chronic pain. The HUGE strength of this book is how that is put across, through her words, through her actions and changing attitudes, she is not particularly likeable but extraordinarily sympathetic. I like the way the author starts with "I wake up" and then takes us through a plethora of different emotions, pain levels and acceptance v denial. Extremely well done.
The mystery element is well plotted through the majority- Monica has memory issues due to the immense amounts of medication she has to take and its possible her husband is not as loving as she thinks, her friends may not be entirely trustworthy and those she interacts with may not always have her best interests at heart. Therein lies the hook, that addictive sense as you race through the pages to find out the truth.
Clever misdirection, an off kilter reality, mostly seen through the filter of Monica and her pain, the twists and turns in Painkiller are beautifully placed and unpredictable which of course makes it fascinating and engaging. However...
My problem came with the ultimate resolution. I found it a little over convoluted, the last little bit was a maelstrom of rather ragged sprints to the finish line that were slightly overwhelming and not always as believable as the rest of the novel had been up until that point. That is not to say the finale was unlikely to the extreme, more that I felt it was rather banged together. But you know, sometimes these things can runaway with you.
Overall though Painkiller was a thought provoking, nicely done psychological thriller with a different starting premise that gave it an edge over others that I have seen lately. I would recommend it. You'll be slightly breathless by the end...
August 30, 2020
Çok ilginç bir finaldi, hiç beklemediğim bir tarzda bitti gerçekten. Ben başlarda biraz daha Uyuyana Kadar gibi bir kitap beklemiştim, hatta arka yazısı bile onu hatırlatıyordu. Tamamen bambaşka bir kitap olarak çıktı. Çok akıcıydı ve güzel bağlanmıştı bence. Farklı bir şey arıyorsanız bunu deneyebilirsiniz.
June 25, 2020
Seneler önce Lucy Christopher'ın Keşke Senden Nefret Edebilseydim kitabını okumustum. O kitapta yazar sıcağı öyle bir anlatıyordu ki okurken terleyip, su içip durmuştum 😆 Bu kitapta da yazar o kadar çok ağrıdan bahsediyor ki 100.sayfada başım ağrımaya başladı, 300.sayfada dayanamayıp ilaç içtim 😞 Evet kitabın kurgusu ağrı üzerine kurulu ama bu kadar çok bahsedilmesi okurken biraz sıktı. Ancak sonlara doğru olaylar hiç tahmin edemediğim şekilde ilerleyip öyle bir final yaptı ki başlardaki gereksiz uzatmaları unuttum gitti. Güzel bir kitaptı ve bence çok da güzel sinema filmi olur.
April 16, 2017
LOVED this amazing, thrilling, unputdownable book. Every page packed with secrets. I did not see the ending coming.
December 22, 2016
In brief - I really liked some aspects of this, others left me less convinced. 3.5/5 I think .
In full
This is the story of Monica. She is in constant chronic pain after an "accident" five years ago. The majority of chapters are her story (although she may be an unreliable narrator). There are a few chapters written in the third party by others around her. She comes across a suicide note, apparently hers, which she is fairly sure cannot have been written by her. It becomes increasingly obvious that there is information not being shared with the reader.
At times Monica's story seems quite convincing. She and her Angry Friend, the pain, come over powerfully. I did find the writing style a little odd however that may just be me. A combination of the pain and the medication might well make for disrupted writing and certainly makes for significant memory loss. I did think the writing was insightful at times; the anger, frustration, despair and other emotions aroused in dealing with the constant pain were powerfully drawn.
While Monica was largely convincing as a character I do have reservations about the other key characters in this book. Dominic is her husband and for me is barely two dimensional. Some of his behaviour is far-fetched and simply unbelievable for me. In a sense this apples to Niall another character with chapters in the story. Once again he is not really that credible as a person as far as I'm concerned.
Overall I found myself less than convinced by aspects of this story. However I was always intrigued enough to continue reading. The style of writing was an issue in places; swearing is fine but talking about sex in anything like a straightforward way was not for example. While Monica's voice was mostly powerful and credible to me the same cannot be said of the other third party chapters.
For me this does have echoes of "Before I Go to Sleep" which I read and loved some time ago. It was not a book I was actually going to put down and leave unfinished. The ending was powerful and clever enough although some aspect were maybe not fully credible. This book will be loved by many - of that I'm sure. However I do think it could have been better - 3.5/5
Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review
http://viewson.org.uk/thriller/painki...
In full
This is the story of Monica. She is in constant chronic pain after an "accident" five years ago. The majority of chapters are her story (although she may be an unreliable narrator). There are a few chapters written in the third party by others around her. She comes across a suicide note, apparently hers, which she is fairly sure cannot have been written by her. It becomes increasingly obvious that there is information not being shared with the reader.
At times Monica's story seems quite convincing. She and her Angry Friend, the pain, come over powerfully. I did find the writing style a little odd however that may just be me. A combination of the pain and the medication might well make for disrupted writing and certainly makes for significant memory loss. I did think the writing was insightful at times; the anger, frustration, despair and other emotions aroused in dealing with the constant pain were powerfully drawn.
While Monica was largely convincing as a character I do have reservations about the other key characters in this book. Dominic is her husband and for me is barely two dimensional. Some of his behaviour is far-fetched and simply unbelievable for me. In a sense this apples to Niall another character with chapters in the story. Once again he is not really that credible as a person as far as I'm concerned.
Overall I found myself less than convinced by aspects of this story. However I was always intrigued enough to continue reading. The style of writing was an issue in places; swearing is fine but talking about sex in anything like a straightforward way was not for example. While Monica's voice was mostly powerful and credible to me the same cannot be said of the other third party chapters.
For me this does have echoes of "Before I Go to Sleep" which I read and loved some time ago. It was not a book I was actually going to put down and leave unfinished. The ending was powerful and clever enough although some aspect were maybe not fully credible. This book will be loved by many - of that I'm sure. However I do think it could have been better - 3.5/5
Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review
http://viewson.org.uk/thriller/painki...
March 14, 2017
Monica is in pain, constantly, every minute of every day, chronic, never-ending neuropathic pain; with a concoction of medication, she is able to function, barely. To touch – hurts, to lift – hurts, loud noises – hurt, bright lights – hurt, it hurts all the time, these are the good days. Sometimes the pain is agonising, so torturous, Monica cannot even get out of bed, she can do nothing but lie there, these are the bad days. This has been Monica’s life for the past five years. And if that wasn’t hellish enough, she has no memory of the past, just a suspicion that someone is trying to kill her.
Do you see now why I was so intrigued by this plot!? When was the last time, you met a character like Monica? Monica has a husband, but the relationship that is central in her life is her relationship with her pain. Narrated mainly by Monica, on one of her good days, she finds a suicide note that she doesn’t remember writing, the only way to reclaim her memories and get to the truth is to stop taking her pain medication – how cruel can life be!? You can’t help but empathise with Monica, she is a very likeable character, yes, she can be snappy at times – but so am I when I have a headache, let alone living with her level of pain! She’s happy, sad, angry, unsure yet determined and I loved her dark humour.
This book give you a well-researched and thorough insight into someone living with chronic pain; with each turning page, this story got better and better, it started off slow but you soon see the mystery forming. Monica’s pain is so intense, her brain is constantly registering it, with the side-effects of all the medication she’s taking, there’s no room for memories – making this a must read for fans of unreliable narrators. As the story progresses, it gets darker and the psychological elements really come into play. By the time you reach the twists and unpredictable moments, you’re hooked! I absolutely loved the last 70 or so pages of this book, the plot intensified tenfold and I really commend the author on this books ending – I didn’t predict it and it was so right for the plot.
I highly recommend this book for fans of psychological thrillers, particularly if you enjoy a slow burner.
*My thanks to Little, Brown Book Group for providing me with a copy of this book*
Do you see now why I was so intrigued by this plot!? When was the last time, you met a character like Monica? Monica has a husband, but the relationship that is central in her life is her relationship with her pain. Narrated mainly by Monica, on one of her good days, she finds a suicide note that she doesn’t remember writing, the only way to reclaim her memories and get to the truth is to stop taking her pain medication – how cruel can life be!? You can’t help but empathise with Monica, she is a very likeable character, yes, she can be snappy at times – but so am I when I have a headache, let alone living with her level of pain! She’s happy, sad, angry, unsure yet determined and I loved her dark humour.
This book give you a well-researched and thorough insight into someone living with chronic pain; with each turning page, this story got better and better, it started off slow but you soon see the mystery forming. Monica’s pain is so intense, her brain is constantly registering it, with the side-effects of all the medication she’s taking, there’s no room for memories – making this a must read for fans of unreliable narrators. As the story progresses, it gets darker and the psychological elements really come into play. By the time you reach the twists and unpredictable moments, you’re hooked! I absolutely loved the last 70 or so pages of this book, the plot intensified tenfold and I really commend the author on this books ending – I didn’t predict it and it was so right for the plot.
I highly recommend this book for fans of psychological thrillers, particularly if you enjoy a slow burner.
*My thanks to Little, Brown Book Group for providing me with a copy of this book*
November 25, 2016
Also read my review here: http://bookbum.weebly.com/book-review...
I cannot go on like this. I feel such a burden to you. You are young and can start again. You deserve that chance. By the time you read this I will be dead. Do not grieve for me, for I am now without pain.
This was a real page-turner from page one! Would have been unputdownable if it hadn’t been for the fact that I had to put it down while at work.
I found myself absolutely loving Monica’s character. I’ve seen a couple of reviews that state her as “unlikable” but I thought she was very likable! She was a really unique character due to her constant pain and the way that affects her daily life and relationships. I loved that she could be sassy, lovely, and angry all in one go, she was a really fun character to immerse yourself in.
The plot of the unreliable narrator, the secretive husband etc wasn’t unique, I’ve read several books very similar to it in the past year in fact, but there was a certain edge to this book that made it so much more intriguing than some of the others I’ve read. It’s not that the twists were much better or more unpredictable than those in the other novels, it’s just simply that I enjoyed the writing style, characters and pace of this book more. For a mystery like this, novels usually try to cram as much as they can into the story to make the biggest number of twists possible, to get the reader excited, but this was nice and slow paced. It had just the right amount of shock moments in it, you didn’t feel overwhelmed by it at all.
The ending really got to me and was certainly not how I expected this book to end up. I’ll admit that I got a little emotional. If you’re a mystery thriller junkie like me, I definitely recommend this, it’s one of the best I’ve read this year.
Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown Book Group UK for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.
I cannot go on like this. I feel such a burden to you. You are young and can start again. You deserve that chance. By the time you read this I will be dead. Do not grieve for me, for I am now without pain.
This was a real page-turner from page one! Would have been unputdownable if it hadn’t been for the fact that I had to put it down while at work.
I found myself absolutely loving Monica’s character. I’ve seen a couple of reviews that state her as “unlikable” but I thought she was very likable! She was a really unique character due to her constant pain and the way that affects her daily life and relationships. I loved that she could be sassy, lovely, and angry all in one go, she was a really fun character to immerse yourself in.
The plot of the unreliable narrator, the secretive husband etc wasn’t unique, I’ve read several books very similar to it in the past year in fact, but there was a certain edge to this book that made it so much more intriguing than some of the others I’ve read. It’s not that the twists were much better or more unpredictable than those in the other novels, it’s just simply that I enjoyed the writing style, characters and pace of this book more. For a mystery like this, novels usually try to cram as much as they can into the story to make the biggest number of twists possible, to get the reader excited, but this was nice and slow paced. It had just the right amount of shock moments in it, you didn’t feel overwhelmed by it at all.
The ending really got to me and was certainly not how I expected this book to end up. I’ll admit that I got a little emotional. If you’re a mystery thriller junkie like me, I definitely recommend this, it’s one of the best I’ve read this year.
Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown Book Group UK for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.
February 15, 2017
Painkiller by N J Fountain is a general fiction (adult) read.
I cannot go on like this. I feel such a burden to you. You are young and can start again. You deserve that chance. By the time you read this I will be dead. Do not grieve for me, for I am now without pain.
Yours truly for ever,
Monica
Monica suffers from chronic neuropathic pain. Every second of her life is spent in agony, and she is coping with it the best she can. However, there are whole years of her life which are a blur to her.
But when she finds a suicide note, written in her handwriting, she begins to question everything. She has no memory of writing it - so who did? And if someone tried to kill her once, what's to say they won't try again . . .
This was a really good read with good characters. Very moving and emotional read. I really felt for Monica and her husband Dominic. I definitely didn't see that coming. Full of twists. Highly recommended. 5*. I voluntarily reviewed an advanced copy of this book from netgalley.
I cannot go on like this. I feel such a burden to you. You are young and can start again. You deserve that chance. By the time you read this I will be dead. Do not grieve for me, for I am now without pain.
Yours truly for ever,
Monica
Monica suffers from chronic neuropathic pain. Every second of her life is spent in agony, and she is coping with it the best she can. However, there are whole years of her life which are a blur to her.
But when she finds a suicide note, written in her handwriting, she begins to question everything. She has no memory of writing it - so who did? And if someone tried to kill her once, what's to say they won't try again . . .
This was a really good read with good characters. Very moving and emotional read. I really felt for Monica and her husband Dominic. I definitely didn't see that coming. Full of twists. Highly recommended. 5*. I voluntarily reviewed an advanced copy of this book from netgalley.
December 29, 2017
Monica lives with chronic neuropathic pain after an accident in which she fell down a flight of stairs. One day she discovers a suicide note and is convinced that she did not write it. However, entire patches of her memory have vanished over the past few years due to ever changing combinations of drugs to manage her pain. Is it possible that she wrote it, or is it possible that somebody wants her dead - and still does?
I can't say much without giving anything away, and because this is such an outstanding read, I don't want to spoil anything for anybody! Monica is a complex character, and can be downright unlikable much of the time, but she feels real, and I was basically in her corner throughout the story. The pacing can be a little slow, but this is full of plot twists that will take you by surprise, and everything fits nicely together once you reach the end. It was also packed with emotion - I was in tears by the end! In a comment I made while reading it, I said I was taking a star off for a gratuitous dream sequence. Well, all is forgiven! It's a fantastic read! 5 stars.
I can't say much without giving anything away, and because this is such an outstanding read, I don't want to spoil anything for anybody! Monica is a complex character, and can be downright unlikable much of the time, but she feels real, and I was basically in her corner throughout the story. The pacing can be a little slow, but this is full of plot twists that will take you by surprise, and everything fits nicely together once you reach the end. It was also packed with emotion - I was in tears by the end! In a comment I made while reading it, I said I was taking a star off for a gratuitous dream sequence. Well, all is forgiven! It's a fantastic read! 5 stars.
June 3, 2019
Facile, trop simple, on applique la recette des grands succès du genre des dernières années. Cela m,a fait penser à La fille du train, Avant d'aller dormir, Gone Girl, etc. mais tout est moins bien réussi. L'écriture est horrible, complètement sèche, aucune personnalité, des dialogues irréalistes et sans aucune émotion, cette partie est peut-être du a une mauvaise traduction en toute honnêteté, mais bon... Rien pour moi ici!
April 6, 2016
This book was fabulous, a great read.
It was a thriller but with a very unusual angle taken on the plot that plays out to a very satisfying conclusion. There is no lull in the book and the protaganist is painted very fully.
A great debut.
It was a thriller but with a very unusual angle taken on the plot that plays out to a very satisfying conclusion. There is no lull in the book and the protaganist is painted very fully.
A great debut.
January 7, 2024
Was Schmerzen aus einem Menschen machen können. Mittel gegen den Schmerz, Feuer aller Nebenwirkungen, gerade bei Nervenschmerz.
Protagonistin Monika lebt keinen Tag ohne Schmerzen und versucht Tag für Tag zu begehen. Ihr Mann Dominic ist ein wahrer Schatz, er kocht, putzt und er kümmert sich liebevoll.
Monikas Tage sind mal besser, meist schlechter und so steht sie manchmal mit Halluzinationen im Konflikt - Echt oder wirklich Einbildung? Und weiß sich oft nicht zu helfen, zu sehen was da ist. Erinnerungen sind das große Übel. Wenn jeder Tag kein leichter ist und man sich an nichts sicher erinnern kann, dann glaubt man doch allem was man gesagt bekommt, was geschehen war. Auch wenn es sich ganz komisch anfühlt?...
Gut geschriebener Thriller. In die Länge gezogen, wirklich guter Showdown und sinnvolles Ende.
Protagonistin Monika lebt keinen Tag ohne Schmerzen und versucht Tag für Tag zu begehen. Ihr Mann Dominic ist ein wahrer Schatz, er kocht, putzt und er kümmert sich liebevoll.
Monikas Tage sind mal besser, meist schlechter und so steht sie manchmal mit Halluzinationen im Konflikt - Echt oder wirklich Einbildung? Und weiß sich oft nicht zu helfen, zu sehen was da ist. Erinnerungen sind das große Übel. Wenn jeder Tag kein leichter ist und man sich an nichts sicher erinnern kann, dann glaubt man doch allem was man gesagt bekommt, was geschehen war. Auch wenn es sich ganz komisch anfühlt?...
Gut geschriebener Thriller. In die Länge gezogen, wirklich guter Showdown und sinnvolles Ende.
February 21, 2021
3,5yıldız da olur.
March 2, 2017
Five years ago Monica 'fell' down a flight of stairs and ended up disabled from chronic neuropathic pain. The pain meds she's on keep her in a state of confusion and wipe her memories from that time. When she finds a suicide note she doesn't remember writing, she starts to wonder if someone close to her is trying to kill her. Loved the whole neuropathic pain aspect although the unreliable narrator is becoming old hat now as there have been too many released recently. I also found other aspects of the novel rather cliched. I'm not saying this was a bad novel, just that it was a bit predictable.
November 14, 2018
I could not put this down! If I had the time, I would've read Painkiller in one sitting, it really was that good.
Painkiller follows the story of Monica, a woman who is living in constant pain everyday after an accident occurred five years ago. With her concoctions of painkillers causing her memory to fade, Monica finds her everyday life quite a struggle. She feels like a failed wife to her husband, Dominic, she's lost friends and she can't do her job quite like she used to. It isn't until Monica finds a suicide note she doesn't remember writing that Monica realises what she has to do to find out what happened on top of those stairs all those years ago.
N.J. Fountain has delivered an excellent thriller. I haven't been this hooked on a book in a while, so to find a 10/10 thriller like this was definitely refreshing. Painkiller is the true definition of a page turner, with every character being completely fleshed out and an unpredictable and compelling plot. There was not a single moment where I thought 'oh, I bet this happens'. I went in completely blind and was not let down.
Not only does the book follow Monica, written in first person, but it also allows you to follow other characters (I won't say names to avoid spoilers) in third person, which is eye opening to a lot of elements of the story, without giving too much away and without being repetitive on the current plot. The writing style was casual and easy-going but gripping at the same time.
I'd definitely recommend Painkiller for anybody and everybody. It's a great 'starter' thriller that'll guarantee to get you hooked on the genre, but it's also a great addition to a thriller lovers collection. I'll be keeping an eye out for more N.J. Fountain books in the future.
Painkiller follows the story of Monica, a woman who is living in constant pain everyday after an accident occurred five years ago. With her concoctions of painkillers causing her memory to fade, Monica finds her everyday life quite a struggle. She feels like a failed wife to her husband, Dominic, she's lost friends and she can't do her job quite like she used to. It isn't until Monica finds a suicide note she doesn't remember writing that Monica realises what she has to do to find out what happened on top of those stairs all those years ago.
N.J. Fountain has delivered an excellent thriller. I haven't been this hooked on a book in a while, so to find a 10/10 thriller like this was definitely refreshing. Painkiller is the true definition of a page turner, with every character being completely fleshed out and an unpredictable and compelling plot. There was not a single moment where I thought 'oh, I bet this happens'. I went in completely blind and was not let down.
Not only does the book follow Monica, written in first person, but it also allows you to follow other characters (I won't say names to avoid spoilers) in third person, which is eye opening to a lot of elements of the story, without giving too much away and without being repetitive on the current plot. The writing style was casual and easy-going but gripping at the same time.
I'd definitely recommend Painkiller for anybody and everybody. It's a great 'starter' thriller that'll guarantee to get you hooked on the genre, but it's also a great addition to a thriller lovers collection. I'll be keeping an eye out for more N.J. Fountain books in the future.
November 7, 2016
For me this book was just ok. I grabbed it because I actually suffer from chronic pain myself & I thought it an interesting proposition. But almost within the first 5 chapters I really didn't like the main character. At first it wasn't that she wasn't a good person or anything. And I get that it's from her narrative, so we are seeing her thoughts - and yeah, you do think about pain quite a bit. But it simply does not form every second thought. It doesn't become an excuse for every piece of bad behaviour. That just didn't ring true to me, & when I did read the acknowledgments at the end I saw that the story was inspired by someone the author knew, but that the author did not actually know chronic pain themselves. And that was one huge downfall because it just rang false. Add in that she actually turned out to be a real b$&@h & you have one heck of an unsympathetic character. No matter how good your plot twist is, you get to a certain point where you can't wait for it to be over.
I really, really admire that this author tried to bring some awareness to sufferers of chronic pain through the book. I really think that was part of the intention & I'm all for that. But sometimes write what you know is super relevant. And if you don't know, be absolutely expert in your research. Medically, the research was not too bad. Emotionally, psychologically - sorry but it really wasn't close.
I really, really admire that this author tried to bring some awareness to sufferers of chronic pain through the book. I really think that was part of the intention & I'm all for that. But sometimes write what you know is super relevant. And if you don't know, be absolutely expert in your research. Medically, the research was not too bad. Emotionally, psychologically - sorry but it really wasn't close.
October 26, 2017
Começa de mansinho com descrição da situação clínica de Monica - um cenário simplesmente aterrador, como é que alguém consegue viver com dores o tempo todo? - e assim segue durante algum tempo até que começam a surgir ideias que colocam o marido, Dominic, em causa. A partir de certa altura as revelações e twists sucedem-se e são mesmo inesperados.
April 16, 2016
I don't really know what to make of this book - sometimes I liked it and sometimes I didn't. Was it the characters or the plot? This is usually exactly the sort of novel I go for, but somehow it just didn't work for me although other people will love it. I thought the descriptions of Monica's pain and her daily struggles with it were excellent and could only have been written by someone who has suffered in the same way or who has done plenty of research/interviews. I also enjoyed the way it was written but it could have been a little shorter. Anyone who enjoys slightly different thrillers will really enjoy this story. I was given this ARC by the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
December 22, 2015
This certainly is a one sitting read.It's taut and full of suspense.
July 11, 2018
An average psychological thriller with twists and turns and some unreliable character narration. For me, it was ruined by the final chapters.
February 3, 2022
A good page turner, a thriller at it's best. A bit complicated at the end for me though.
December 25, 2024
It’s really cool how most of the book is from the perspective of someone who lost their memory. You really don’t know what’s true and what’s not until the very end.
February 23, 2016
Painkiller is such a tense and atmospheric read that you won’t be able to put it down. I read it in one sitting and was reeling for ages afterwards. It is such an incredibly well plotted and heart-racing novel that you won’t know what to do with yourself when you’ve finished!
Painkiller is a novel all about Monica who has chronic neuropathic pain. Ever since a devastating accident, Monica has been in uncontrollable pain every second of the day. With a cocktail of painkillers to take every day, Monica finds that she has forgotten about the accident and everything that happened around that time. When she stumbles upon a suicide note she’s written and questions her husband about it, she starts to wonder whether she can trust anyone around her. When a new treatment becomes available and Monica volunteers to try it, she finds that memories slowly start filtering back. Will she remember who it was that caused the accident…and if she does, is she in danger again?
This book is so addictive! Every chapter ending makes you want to just read one more and so on until you end up reading the whole thing in one go! Monica’s story is so compelling and I was racing to the end to find out which character had ruined her life. My allegiances changed frequently throughout; one minute I was completely trusting of a character and then the next I was completely untrusting of them! It was so tricky to work out which characters were involved and which were innocently trying to help Monica.
What I found most intriguing however was the fact Monica had this chronic pain. I’ve not had much experience of people with chronic pain so, ignorantly, I don’t know much about it. Yet I feel like I do now; watching Monica struggle with everyday things made me realise how disabling chronic pain can be. There are also scenes between her and her doctor and it was really fascinating to learn more about the causes and treatment of chronic pain.
There is no doubting that this book is a thrilling ride. From the beginning to the end you are sucked into Monica’s world and are left wondering what to believe. The supporting cast of characters; Monica’s husband, her friend, some old colleagues and her doctor are all well drawn and were incredibly clear in my mind as I read. And, as mentioned previously, it was hard to know which of them to trust.
The conclusion to this novel is one that both broke my heart but also satisfied me. It definitely wasn’t the ending I was hoping for or expecting but it was an ending that left me feeling as though everything was OK again. I felt for Monica the whole way through and was cursing the person that so cruelly ruined her life.
If you love a good psychological thriller with many a twist and turn then Painkiller is definitely for you!
Painkiller is a novel all about Monica who has chronic neuropathic pain. Ever since a devastating accident, Monica has been in uncontrollable pain every second of the day. With a cocktail of painkillers to take every day, Monica finds that she has forgotten about the accident and everything that happened around that time. When she stumbles upon a suicide note she’s written and questions her husband about it, she starts to wonder whether she can trust anyone around her. When a new treatment becomes available and Monica volunteers to try it, she finds that memories slowly start filtering back. Will she remember who it was that caused the accident…and if she does, is she in danger again?
This book is so addictive! Every chapter ending makes you want to just read one more and so on until you end up reading the whole thing in one go! Monica’s story is so compelling and I was racing to the end to find out which character had ruined her life. My allegiances changed frequently throughout; one minute I was completely trusting of a character and then the next I was completely untrusting of them! It was so tricky to work out which characters were involved and which were innocently trying to help Monica.
What I found most intriguing however was the fact Monica had this chronic pain. I’ve not had much experience of people with chronic pain so, ignorantly, I don’t know much about it. Yet I feel like I do now; watching Monica struggle with everyday things made me realise how disabling chronic pain can be. There are also scenes between her and her doctor and it was really fascinating to learn more about the causes and treatment of chronic pain.
There is no doubting that this book is a thrilling ride. From the beginning to the end you are sucked into Monica’s world and are left wondering what to believe. The supporting cast of characters; Monica’s husband, her friend, some old colleagues and her doctor are all well drawn and were incredibly clear in my mind as I read. And, as mentioned previously, it was hard to know which of them to trust.
The conclusion to this novel is one that both broke my heart but also satisfied me. It definitely wasn’t the ending I was hoping for or expecting but it was an ending that left me feeling as though everything was OK again. I felt for Monica the whole way through and was cursing the person that so cruelly ruined her life.
If you love a good psychological thriller with many a twist and turn then Painkiller is definitely for you!
December 11, 2016
This book features a very brave lady Monica Woods, and her life of struggling with pain. Constant Pain, agony beyond anyone’s belief.
Following an accident she suffered years ago that has left her with Chronic neuropathic pain.
Good days and bad days, she doesn’t really have a choice but to try and get through it the best she can, and sometimes that means being stuck lay on the floor in agony for hours on end.
I think this is one of those books, that most people would find hard to understand how anyone can be in that sort of pain, how any human being can suffer like she does, it’s not right.
But suffer is exactly what she does, and having a life long illness that causes me a great deal of pain I could really relate to her, I could almost be her, her medication she takes is pretty much what I have to take, to try and function on a daily basis, to try stop your muscles spasming and to try and keep the pain at a minimum. To try and keep going enough to you don’t stiffen up, but not over doing it that you pay for it for days after. I really felt like I’d been dragged into this book and went on a journey with Monica.
Monica in my book, is an amazing lady. Her husband Dominic works in advertising, trying to understand her illness, and trying to work full time to support them both. He’s at the brunt end of a lot of Monica’s frustrations., They say you take it out on the ones closest to you.
Monica is horrified when she finds a suicide note, one that she has written years early, she knows she wrote it as its in her hand writing. And as most of her drugs cause a lot of memory loss, she doesn’t remember it at all.
Her husband just shrugs it off, with an answer of you were in a very dark place back then. But it has unnerved Monica. Is there more to it that she thinks?
Bit by bit Monica starts to feel that something is not quite right, but as she’s been so poorly, she can’t figure a lot of it out. But she’s certainly to try to, and bit by bit she manages to piece together the last few years.
There are some great twists in this book, that gives it the edge, and keeps you thinking and wondering where things will be going next. You just have to keep going because you want to know. And that (along with being in pain) is what kept me up a full night reading this book. It’s a long time since I’ve done a book in one sitting. I really didn’t see where this was going, and I think the twist was just first class.
I have to say the researching and the knowledge into the descriptions of the pain, and the drugs and side effects etc, is just spot on.
I would recommend this book to Anyone that likes a bloody good read.
Following an accident she suffered years ago that has left her with Chronic neuropathic pain.
Good days and bad days, she doesn’t really have a choice but to try and get through it the best she can, and sometimes that means being stuck lay on the floor in agony for hours on end.
I think this is one of those books, that most people would find hard to understand how anyone can be in that sort of pain, how any human being can suffer like she does, it’s not right.
But suffer is exactly what she does, and having a life long illness that causes me a great deal of pain I could really relate to her, I could almost be her, her medication she takes is pretty much what I have to take, to try and function on a daily basis, to try stop your muscles spasming and to try and keep the pain at a minimum. To try and keep going enough to you don’t stiffen up, but not over doing it that you pay for it for days after. I really felt like I’d been dragged into this book and went on a journey with Monica.
Monica in my book, is an amazing lady. Her husband Dominic works in advertising, trying to understand her illness, and trying to work full time to support them both. He’s at the brunt end of a lot of Monica’s frustrations., They say you take it out on the ones closest to you.
Monica is horrified when she finds a suicide note, one that she has written years early, she knows she wrote it as its in her hand writing. And as most of her drugs cause a lot of memory loss, she doesn’t remember it at all.
Her husband just shrugs it off, with an answer of you were in a very dark place back then. But it has unnerved Monica. Is there more to it that she thinks?
Bit by bit Monica starts to feel that something is not quite right, but as she’s been so poorly, she can’t figure a lot of it out. But she’s certainly to try to, and bit by bit she manages to piece together the last few years.
There are some great twists in this book, that gives it the edge, and keeps you thinking and wondering where things will be going next. You just have to keep going because you want to know. And that (along with being in pain) is what kept me up a full night reading this book. It’s a long time since I’ve done a book in one sitting. I really didn’t see where this was going, and I think the twist was just first class.
I have to say the researching and the knowledge into the descriptions of the pain, and the drugs and side effects etc, is just spot on.
I would recommend this book to Anyone that likes a bloody good read.
January 4, 2017
Monica is in terrible pain and the medication she takes has affected her memory, but that might be the least of her worries.
Crikey Painkiller is brilliant. I was enthralled by every word of it and found it to be a fabulous thriller. I must say something about the structure because it feels perfect for the novel. The character ‘titles’ serve to break up the text physically in the same way Monica’s memory is fractured, adding to the enjoyment in the read. I liked the use of the emboldened text and italics to add layers of meaning and challenge the voracity of assertions still further so that there are many layers to the story. There’s also quite a bit of white space on the pages that seemed to me to represent the gaps in Monica’s memory so well.
Monica is such a completely convincing character and finding that she was inspired, however loosely, by a real person made the narrative even more affecting. I loved the way the cover shows a fractured and distorted person, reflecting the character we meet in the story. There’s an unreliability to all the characters; Monica, Dominic and Niall especially, and things are never quite what they seem so that I had to keep changing my perspective and shifting my position. Painkiller is incredibly entertaining because of this.
The plot is extremely well constructed leading to a satisfying ending that is unpredictable and exciting. I kept thinking of a pit of writhing snakes as I read because the story line twisted and coiled, with interesting and dramatic scenes leading me to false assumptions that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Alongside the sheer entertainment of Painkiller is a poignant and relevant theme of what happens to those suffering huge pain on a daily basis and how it affects those around them. And it’s this that helps make Painkiller such a wonderful read for me. I always look for an emotional hook and alongside the cracking pace, the exhilarating story and the credible characters there’s that added extra layer of interest that pulls in the reader and doesn’t let them go. I thought Painkiller was a cracking thriller and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
https://lindasbookbag.com/
Crikey Painkiller is brilliant. I was enthralled by every word of it and found it to be a fabulous thriller. I must say something about the structure because it feels perfect for the novel. The character ‘titles’ serve to break up the text physically in the same way Monica’s memory is fractured, adding to the enjoyment in the read. I liked the use of the emboldened text and italics to add layers of meaning and challenge the voracity of assertions still further so that there are many layers to the story. There’s also quite a bit of white space on the pages that seemed to me to represent the gaps in Monica’s memory so well.
Monica is such a completely convincing character and finding that she was inspired, however loosely, by a real person made the narrative even more affecting. I loved the way the cover shows a fractured and distorted person, reflecting the character we meet in the story. There’s an unreliability to all the characters; Monica, Dominic and Niall especially, and things are never quite what they seem so that I had to keep changing my perspective and shifting my position. Painkiller is incredibly entertaining because of this.
The plot is extremely well constructed leading to a satisfying ending that is unpredictable and exciting. I kept thinking of a pit of writhing snakes as I read because the story line twisted and coiled, with interesting and dramatic scenes leading me to false assumptions that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Alongside the sheer entertainment of Painkiller is a poignant and relevant theme of what happens to those suffering huge pain on a daily basis and how it affects those around them. And it’s this that helps make Painkiller such a wonderful read for me. I always look for an emotional hook and alongside the cracking pace, the exhilarating story and the credible characters there’s that added extra layer of interest that pulls in the reader and doesn’t let them go. I thought Painkiller was a cracking thriller and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
https://lindasbookbag.com/
April 21, 2016
This review has been crossposted from my blog at The Cosy Dragon . Please head there for more in-depth reviews by me, which appear on a timely schedule.
Monica suffers from chronic pain. Not just chronic pain, but chronic neuropathic pain. Every second of her life is filled with acute pain which breaks through even the toughest and strongest medications. When Monica finds a suicide note that she has written, her mind begins to question what else has happened in a past she doesn’t remember.
Normally I couldn’t tell you the names of half the characters, but the advantage of this novel being pretty much from Monica’s perspective (which is limited to dealing with people as she can’t really go out very much) meant that I got a good solid grasp of them in my mind. When the perspective changes up, you still don’t know the whole story or a truth.
Ooh, this is a twisty one, this is. It wants to portray itself as a potential crime, but in fact it is psychological thriller which just happens to have a bit of ‘potential’ crime involved. Its far more gripping, and not nearly as bloody. Monica might be acting like a sleuth, but in fact she seems to be only just coping.
Its an interesting insight into the world of those with Chronic Neuropathic Pain. I don’t think I would be able to live like that personally. It’s certainly something my girlfriend and I spent some time thinking about! It’s a bit like dementia, but it is drug induced. Monica can hardly remember her own name, let alone who might be responsible for her condition.
I could not put this novel down. I just had to keep reading. I took it to work with me, and just couldn’t stop reading. 4 stars from me now I know ‘who-dun-it’.
Monica suffers from chronic pain. Not just chronic pain, but chronic neuropathic pain. Every second of her life is filled with acute pain which breaks through even the toughest and strongest medications. When Monica finds a suicide note that she has written, her mind begins to question what else has happened in a past she doesn’t remember.
Normally I couldn’t tell you the names of half the characters, but the advantage of this novel being pretty much from Monica’s perspective (which is limited to dealing with people as she can’t really go out very much) meant that I got a good solid grasp of them in my mind. When the perspective changes up, you still don’t know the whole story or a truth.
Ooh, this is a twisty one, this is. It wants to portray itself as a potential crime, but in fact it is psychological thriller which just happens to have a bit of ‘potential’ crime involved. Its far more gripping, and not nearly as bloody. Monica might be acting like a sleuth, but in fact she seems to be only just coping.
Its an interesting insight into the world of those with Chronic Neuropathic Pain. I don’t think I would be able to live like that personally. It’s certainly something my girlfriend and I spent some time thinking about! It’s a bit like dementia, but it is drug induced. Monica can hardly remember her own name, let alone who might be responsible for her condition.
I could not put this novel down. I just had to keep reading. I took it to work with me, and just couldn’t stop reading. 4 stars from me now I know ‘who-dun-it’.
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