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Parenting With Fire: Lighting Up the Family with Passion and Inspiration
A unique parenting manifesto from one of America's most provocative personalities.
According to Shmuley Boteach, author of Kosher Sex and host of TLC's Shalom in the Home, transmitting passions, motivating children with shared goals, and getting them excited about values are the most important things any parent can do. With great humor and insight, Boteach shows parents how to take their child to life's mountaintop-and create a parent-child bond based on vitality, exuberance, and mutual respect.
According to Shmuley Boteach, author of Kosher Sex and host of TLC's Shalom in the Home, transmitting passions, motivating children with shared goals, and getting them excited about values are the most important things any parent can do. With great humor and insight, Boteach shows parents how to take their child to life's mountaintop-and create a parent-child bond based on vitality, exuberance, and mutual respect.
222 pages, Paperback
First published September 5, 2006
1 person is currently reading
80 people want to read
About the author
Shmuley Boteach
47 books70 followersRabbi Shmuley Boteach, named by Talkers Magazine as one of the 100 most important radio hosts in America, is a nationally syndicated talk show host, the international best-selling author of 15 books, and an acclaimed syndicated columnist.
A winner of the London Times highly prestigious "Preacher of the Year" award, Rabbi Shmuley has lectured and appeared in print, radio, and TV all over the globe. His radio show, "Rabbi Shmuley's Passion," airs daily on Bonneville Broadcasting in afternoon drive-time.
He is the author of a number of books, including "Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy," "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments," "Why Can't I Fall in Love," "Judaism for Everyone: Renewing your Life through the Vibrant Lessons of the Jewish Faith," and most recently, "Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex." A winner of the annual "preacher of the year" contest sponsored by the Times of London, he was formerly rabbi of Oxford University.
Shmuley—he is known universally by his first name, has marketed himself as a rabbi to the stars and an expert on Jewish attitudes toward relationships and marriage. ("Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke," the Washington Post called him.)
A winner of the London Times highly prestigious "Preacher of the Year" award, Rabbi Shmuley has lectured and appeared in print, radio, and TV all over the globe. His radio show, "Rabbi Shmuley's Passion," airs daily on Bonneville Broadcasting in afternoon drive-time.
He is the author of a number of books, including "Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy," "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments," "Why Can't I Fall in Love," "Judaism for Everyone: Renewing your Life through the Vibrant Lessons of the Jewish Faith," and most recently, "Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex." A winner of the annual "preacher of the year" contest sponsored by the Times of London, he was formerly rabbi of Oxford University.
Shmuley—he is known universally by his first name, has marketed himself as a rabbi to the stars and an expert on Jewish attitudes toward relationships and marriage. ("Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke," the Washington Post called him.)
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
October 22, 2008
This was an incredible book that every parent should read. The way this guy raises his kids is amazing. He has so much passion for life...and is so inspiring. I was amazed of his story of taking one of his daughters with him to the Larry King Live show...just so he could help her with her homework for a class she was struggling in. He could have prepared before the show; but instead he was quizing her. He really has his priorities in order.
January 31, 2009
I love this book! He is so passionate and about his family you can just tell. He has great ideas and explains them well. Found it to be an easy read but very uplifting and encouraging. A definate read in my opinion...
March 26, 2019
should we burn our children? shmoolie investigates this common phenomenon in western society while talking out of his ass.
February 10, 2023
Some of this was great advice and things I already do, other tips were just too extreme and unrealistic.
August 30, 2012
I enjoyed Rabbi Shmuley's show Shalom in the Home every time I watched it. He approaches families with compassion and insights rarely seen. As a parent, I sometimes feel like I get overwhelmed by the constant-ness of it, getting snippy with my children and forgetting to enjoy this stage in my life. I turned to Rabbi Shmuley to see if he had any inspiration for me. I now have a copy of this book that is twice-read, with dog-ears and highlights throughout.
Parenting With Fire certainly inspires, but it also convicts. He organizes the book around his PLANT method:
P=Protection
L=Love
A=Activity
N=Novelty
T=Tradition
The first section, Protection, was the one that had me squirming in my seat. Yes, of course we need to teach our children to look both ways before they cross the street, but he doesn't think we need to be told that. He takes the parental responsibility to protect our offspring further by showing us how to create a protective total environment where children are free to be children and explore the world safely. He also demands that we protect our children from the worst in ourselves--ouch.
Only then does he go on to talk about Love, which most parents instinctively do, but don't always show enough. He expounds on how important it is that our children are completely certain of our unconditional love. This relates to Protection in that they should always know they have a loving family to come to, no matter what they do, good or bad.
The last three sections, to me, are different facets of being our children's primary teachers. I found these sections to be very fun, full of wonderful ways of looking at interactions with our children. He emphasizes how important it is to impart our values to our children and gives many suggestions on how to do this. He asks us to let our children into our lives--our interests, our perspectives--and then reverses the concept and asks parents to look more closely into the children's perspectives so that family members can learn from one another and grow their bonds.
Perhaps controversially, he asks parents to limit their children's time with friends and activities, because friends and coaches can never replace the unconditional love of family bonds. He reminds us that if we are going to limit their activity outside of family, that we need to make family life as rich as possible--and of course, shows many ways to accomplish this.
As a Stay-At-Home mother to young children, I found Parenting With Fire lacking in the mother's perspective. Rabbi Shmuley clearly loves his wife, but he rarely mentions her. I assume that with eight children, some of whom I'm sure are preschool age, she is a busy homemaker, rarely separated from the young ones. Rabbi Shmuley has a flexible career that allows him to do much of his work from home, but I still get the feeling that he has work/travel time and home time that is somewhat separated, unlike a mother whose job IS the kids. It may not occur to a man who works, but this distinction is enormous. It is hard to be an invloved parent when you're tired and stressed from work, but you do still get to leave work behind at regular intervals (so long as you put the Blackberry away.) A full-time mother never leaves work--which is her children--and this can make inspirational parenting difficult in a different way. While I took away so much from Parenting With Fire, the book would be improved by adding the perspective of a full-time mother.
Parenting With Fire certainly inspires, but it also convicts. He organizes the book around his PLANT method:
P=Protection
L=Love
A=Activity
N=Novelty
T=Tradition
The first section, Protection, was the one that had me squirming in my seat. Yes, of course we need to teach our children to look both ways before they cross the street, but he doesn't think we need to be told that. He takes the parental responsibility to protect our offspring further by showing us how to create a protective total environment where children are free to be children and explore the world safely. He also demands that we protect our children from the worst in ourselves--ouch.
Only then does he go on to talk about Love, which most parents instinctively do, but don't always show enough. He expounds on how important it is that our children are completely certain of our unconditional love. This relates to Protection in that they should always know they have a loving family to come to, no matter what they do, good or bad.
The last three sections, to me, are different facets of being our children's primary teachers. I found these sections to be very fun, full of wonderful ways of looking at interactions with our children. He emphasizes how important it is to impart our values to our children and gives many suggestions on how to do this. He asks us to let our children into our lives--our interests, our perspectives--and then reverses the concept and asks parents to look more closely into the children's perspectives so that family members can learn from one another and grow their bonds.
Perhaps controversially, he asks parents to limit their children's time with friends and activities, because friends and coaches can never replace the unconditional love of family bonds. He reminds us that if we are going to limit their activity outside of family, that we need to make family life as rich as possible--and of course, shows many ways to accomplish this.
As a Stay-At-Home mother to young children, I found Parenting With Fire lacking in the mother's perspective. Rabbi Shmuley clearly loves his wife, but he rarely mentions her. I assume that with eight children, some of whom I'm sure are preschool age, she is a busy homemaker, rarely separated from the young ones. Rabbi Shmuley has a flexible career that allows him to do much of his work from home, but I still get the feeling that he has work/travel time and home time that is somewhat separated, unlike a mother whose job IS the kids. It may not occur to a man who works, but this distinction is enormous. It is hard to be an invloved parent when you're tired and stressed from work, but you do still get to leave work behind at regular intervals (so long as you put the Blackberry away.) A full-time mother never leaves work--which is her children--and this can make inspirational parenting difficult in a different way. While I took away so much from Parenting With Fire, the book would be improved by adding the perspective of a full-time mother.
June 4, 2008
Interesting to skim...good reminders. Could be better at providing actual useful ideas to implement aside from the big picture. I don't agree with lavishly encouraging our children. I prefer the approach of montessori which is also hard to live by, but you focus on posing questions back to the child to encourage the child to think for themselves instead of looking to adults for recognition. So for a drawing instead of saying "great" "beautiful" or negatively commenting, you say "great use of color" "what were you thinking about when you drew this".
I do lik Shmuley's focus on putting family as the priority, regaining focus and not worrying about what everyone else is doing.
I do lik Shmuley's focus on putting family as the priority, regaining focus and not worrying about what everyone else is doing.
August 25, 2008
Even though this book is written by a Rabbi, it is definitely for any and every parent. Rabbi Boteach introduces PLANT:
P--Proctection (protect your children from harm, both body and spirit.)
L--Love(make your children feel loved intrinsically and unconditionally)
A--Activity(wholesome pursuits are exciting and fun)
N--Novelty (making the ordinary extraordinary)
T--Tradition(give your children a sense of the significance of their own lives and their places in the universe.)
These are such good things to keep in mind when raising kids, I'm thinking of having them tatooed to my arm.
P--Proctection (protect your children from harm, both body and spirit.)
L--Love(make your children feel loved intrinsically and unconditionally)
A--Activity(wholesome pursuits are exciting and fun)
N--Novelty (making the ordinary extraordinary)
T--Tradition(give your children a sense of the significance of their own lives and their places in the universe.)
These are such good things to keep in mind when raising kids, I'm thinking of having them tatooed to my arm.
May 2, 2012
I should have known better, I really should have. He sits atop his moral high horse and liberally casts about accusations of immorality. South Park? Really?? I think the cloud of wisdom he's perched himself on impairs his distinction between humor and moral statement.
He takes the story of Adam and Eve literally, preaches abstinence rather than education, won't let his daughters date, period, and basically preaches to let kids live in a bubble until they're adults. Then what, Shmuley? Release them into this world about which nothing they know? You're sure doing them a favor. I want my kids to grow up happy, well-adjusted, and informed about the world, not Amish.
He takes the story of Adam and Eve literally, preaches abstinence rather than education, won't let his daughters date, period, and basically preaches to let kids live in a bubble until they're adults. Then what, Shmuley? Release them into this world about which nothing they know? You're sure doing them a favor. I want my kids to grow up happy, well-adjusted, and informed about the world, not Amish.
August 21, 2009
Parenting is hard work. I need all the help I can get.
I'm always reluctant to read how-to books because I don't like being lectured at. So... it took me a while to dive in, and I'm glad I finished it. This book explains his point of view beautifully along with lots of practical advice.
I've folded over so many corners of pages filled with good advice, I'm definitely going to have to read it through again.
I'm always reluctant to read how-to books because I don't like being lectured at. So... it took me a while to dive in, and I'm glad I finished it. This book explains his point of view beautifully along with lots of practical advice.
I've folded over so many corners of pages filled with good advice, I'm definitely going to have to read it through again.
June 21, 2012
This was much better than I thought it would be. R' Boteach kind of annoyed me on his show. I liked how
this parenting book was more goal oriented than most parenting books and concentrated a lot on ways to be
a good example. I can't say I learned specific things to do, but it did remind me that I have to be passionate
about things in order to raise children who share those passions or have their own.
this parenting book was more goal oriented than most parenting books and concentrated a lot on ways to be
a good example. I can't say I learned specific things to do, but it did remind me that I have to be passionate
about things in order to raise children who share those passions or have their own.
May 23, 2010
I enjoyed this book so much that I am re-reading it before I have to send it back to booksfree.com! This book should be given to every new parent! It has a weath of information. I can't express how much I loved this book! Not only is he very smart but he is very funny as well. If you have children this is a must read for you and your family.
January 11, 2015
I didn't agree with absolutely everything he recommends but what I took away from this book is the fundamentals of parenting. He reminded me of all the little things day to day interactions that shape our children.
I recommend this book for anyone that has a child aged 4 to 7. This book may be a little to much for couples planning to have a child.
I recommend this book for anyone that has a child aged 4 to 7. This book may be a little to much for couples planning to have a child.
May 21, 2016
Rabbi and host of TV series Shalom In The Home. Offers practical, common sense parenting tips emphasizing wholesome age appropriate activities and reasons to steer away from too much time spent with screen/peer time. The author’s love of his kids and pride in his role as a parent are evident and inspirational.
December 14, 2009
I really enjoyed this book and agree wholeheartedly with much of what he writes. But what is with G-d! It bugged me everytime! I don't understand why it was written that way but when quoting he could spell it out! God! There, I said it!
September 4, 2007
What a great, grounding book to help you focus on what is really important about being a family.
June 10, 2010
This was a very enjoyable book about parenting. He gave me a lot of things to think about as a parent.
Want to read
July 14, 2010got a couple chapters in...found it interesting. then put it down and didn't get back to it.
December 4, 2009
Shmuley is just a LITTLE too hyped up about the immorality of our modern society, but other than that he has a few good things to say.
January 9, 2013
A passionate call to the importance of parenting and parenting passionately.
March 28, 2014
OMG. Great parenting advice from an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. Loved it!
January 16, 2008
It will change your life...
if you let it.
if you let it.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews