Something Happened: A Book for Children and Parents who have Experienced Pregnancy Loss

by Cathy Blanford, Phyllis Childers (Illustrator)

This beautifully illustrated, simple, clear story is designed to help a young child understand what has happened when there has been a pregnancy loss. The book addresses the sadness that a child experiences when the anticipated baby has died. The child's fears and feelings of guilt are addressed as well as other confusing feelings. Perhaps most important, the book includes the family's experience of going on with life while always remembering their baby. The child reading the book is left with a sense of reassurance that life continues and he is still a vital part of a loving family. Most pages include a box with words for parents. These words are there to help parents understand what their child might be experiencing and why the particular illustrations and text were chosen. They are right there on each page so that the parents don't miss them and can easily scan them while their children look at the illustrations. Children who have experienced a death in their family are very reassured by stories of other children who have had a similar experience. It helps them to understand better what has happened in their own family while at the same time offering the comforting knowledge that they are not alone in their feelings.

Genres: Childrens

40 pages, Paperback

First published January 28, 2008

Reviews

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author: “Cathy Blanford has had over thirty years of experience working with grieving children. She founded Tommy’s Kids Support Group … and also served as a bereavement counselor for Still Missed, a support group for families who have experienced pregnancy loss. She wrote Something Happened after seeing the need families have to explain a sudden infant loss to their surviving children.”

The book assures children that the baby who died can be remembered and included in their family. The example given shows a family planting a pretty little memorial tree.

Most pages have a box specifically designed for parents — to help them understand what their living child/children might be experiencing. This part is not meant to be read to the grieving child.

I think one of the positives about this book is that it opens up communication. For instance, it is very common for a child to think that she/he caused the death of their sibling. However, he/she is very unlikely to communicate this, or even have the words to do so. The book provides an opening for this discussion.

Children grieve differently than adults. They may also need to reprocess their grief (a few times) as they develop cognitively and emotionally and thus become capable of understanding loss at a different level. Even a future sibling or cousin born after a stillbirth, will often experience the effects of that loss.

[Michale · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written and illustrated, demonstrating empathy and sensitivity to the entire family at this time of loss.

[Beckiezra · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you judge a book about baby death? It made me cry, it had helpful information for parents on what their kids might be experiencing after the loss of an expected sibling, the art was gentle.

[Sabrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book to help children cope with miscarriage or stillbirth. It includes notes on each page to help parents understand what their children may be thinking and feeling, and things they can do to help children process the events. It is written for younger children, but when my 10 year old son read it, he said, "This is exactly like what I experienced." For him, it validated many of the thoughts and feelings he had after the death of his baby brother. It also led us to discuss things as a family that we may not have otherwise. For example, I never imagined that my children would think it was their fault that the baby died, but they all had felt this way. Thanks to a passage in this book, we discussed it as a family and hopefully helped them understand that there was nothing they did to cause this and nothing they could have done to prevent it. This is an excellent book that I highly recommend for all families who have experienced stillbirth.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful in letting children know that all the emotions they are feeling about their baby brother or sister dying are normal and not to be ashamed of it, no matter when the emotions happen. It is also very helpful for parents, although hard to read, to have ideas of what reactions their children might have anytime after their baby's death.

[Emelda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never seen a children's book on pregnancy loss/miscarriage, so I grabbed this up from the library. Reassuring, simple and hopeful, I would recommend this book for anyone trying to help a child deal with loss, especially of an expected child or newborn.