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Getting through a Miscarriage
Miscarriages are devastating. Your own body becomes the tomb for a person whom you long to hold, but can't. Sometimes all there is to show for the life you had cherished in your heart is agonizing pain and rivers of blood. Sometimes you even see a little body. Your hormones, which had been ramped up to knit together a little person suddenly crash, leaving you feeling empty and dead inside.
Then a week later, well-meaning friends will ask you if you're over it. Over it? Over it? You want to scream at them. My child is gone. I will never hold her. I never got to say goodbye. My body is mourning in blood.
Then the platitudes "Well, you'll have other children." (I'm not sad about others; I'm sad about this baby.) "At least it's not your first." (How in the world does birth order lessen my pain?) "Maybe it's for the best; your kids would have been too close in age." (Am I supposed to be comforted by that?) "You were kind of young (or old) to have a baby." (I'm dying, and you think that will help?)
Then after a month, you are expected to forget that you were ever pregnant. You are supposed to pretend that your baby never existed. Talk about it, and you're considered obsessed.
This Brief was written to comfort you--to affirm you in your grief, and to help you get through it. There is hope and there is joy ahead of you. But you don't get there by pretending you never lost a child.
Many women dealing with despair after an abortion may appreciate this Brief too. If you are struggling after a chemical or surgical abortion, there is a special note for you at the end of the Brief.
*********
This "Kindle Short Read" is one of many Strong Happy Home Briefs. Each Brief concisely covers a specific topic, and is designed to give you mom-tested, real-world advice as you raise your kids and manage your home.
This Brief will share with you what I’ve learned in over a quarter century of raising my ten children. I am not a perfect mom, and I don’t have perfect kids. But I’ve discovered a lot from the mistakes I’ve made, and some of my ideas have actually worked well. This booklet will distill for you some of the lessons I’ve learned in the “School of Hard Knocks,” so you don’t have to enroll there yourself!
Then a week later, well-meaning friends will ask you if you're over it. Over it? Over it? You want to scream at them. My child is gone. I will never hold her. I never got to say goodbye. My body is mourning in blood.
Then the platitudes "Well, you'll have other children." (I'm not sad about others; I'm sad about this baby.) "At least it's not your first." (How in the world does birth order lessen my pain?) "Maybe it's for the best; your kids would have been too close in age." (Am I supposed to be comforted by that?) "You were kind of young (or old) to have a baby." (I'm dying, and you think that will help?)
Then after a month, you are expected to forget that you were ever pregnant. You are supposed to pretend that your baby never existed. Talk about it, and you're considered obsessed.
This Brief was written to comfort you--to affirm you in your grief, and to help you get through it. There is hope and there is joy ahead of you. But you don't get there by pretending you never lost a child.
Many women dealing with despair after an abortion may appreciate this Brief too. If you are struggling after a chemical or surgical abortion, there is a special note for you at the end of the Brief.
*********
This "Kindle Short Read" is one of many Strong Happy Home Briefs. Each Brief concisely covers a specific topic, and is designed to give you mom-tested, real-world advice as you raise your kids and manage your home.
This Brief will share with you what I’ve learned in over a quarter century of raising my ten children. I am not a perfect mom, and I don’t have perfect kids. But I’ve discovered a lot from the mistakes I’ve made, and some of my ideas have actually worked well. This booklet will distill for you some of the lessons I’ve learned in the “School of Hard Knocks,” so you don’t have to enroll there yourself!
13 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 9, 2014
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