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Tracefinder #1
Tracefinder: Contact
What could an undercover cop and a drug lord’s pet psychic have in common?
Brian Kerr has spent years hiding behind a facade of mental slowness. His brother and sister got all three of them off the streets and into a cushy life, under the protection of a dangerous criminal. But to keep that safety, Brian has to use his Finding talent to track down the boss’s enemies. Although he pretends not to know what he’s really doing, each Find takes its toll, and he’s trapped in a life he hates, losing touch with his true self.
Nick Rugo’s job is to protect and serve the people of Minneapolis as an undercover cop. He isn’t closeted, but he isn’t out at work, and there’s a wild, angry side to him that he’s managed to keep hidden until now. When he’s assigned to bring Brian’s boss to justice, he intends to use anything and anyone it takes to do that.
Nick initially sees Brian as a pawn to be played in his case, but he keeps getting glimpses of a different man behind the slow, simpleminded mask. As the two men get to know each other, it becomes clear they share secrets, some of which might get them both killed.
Brian Kerr has spent years hiding behind a facade of mental slowness. His brother and sister got all three of them off the streets and into a cushy life, under the protection of a dangerous criminal. But to keep that safety, Brian has to use his Finding talent to track down the boss’s enemies. Although he pretends not to know what he’s really doing, each Find takes its toll, and he’s trapped in a life he hates, losing touch with his true self.
Nick Rugo’s job is to protect and serve the people of Minneapolis as an undercover cop. He isn’t closeted, but he isn’t out at work, and there’s a wild, angry side to him that he’s managed to keep hidden until now. When he’s assigned to bring Brian’s boss to justice, he intends to use anything and anyone it takes to do that.
Nick initially sees Brian as a pawn to be played in his case, but he keeps getting glimpses of a different man behind the slow, simpleminded mask. As the two men get to know each other, it becomes clear they share secrets, some of which might get them both killed.
451 pages, ebook
First published January 9, 2016
41 people are currently reading
800 people want to read
About the author
Kaje Harper
91 books2,730 followersI get asked about my name a lot. It's not something exotic, though. “Kaje” is pronounced just like “cage” – it’s an old nickname, and my pronouns are she/her/hers.
I was born in Montreal but have lived for 30 years in Minnesota, where the two seasons are Snow-removal and Road-repair, where the mosquito is the state bird, and where winter can be breathtakingly beautiful. Minnesota’s a kind, quiet (if sometimes chilly) place and it’s home.
I’ve been writing far longer than I care to admit (*whispers – fifty years*), mostly for my own entertainment, usually M/M romance (with added mystery, fantasy, historical, SciFi…) I also have a few Young Adult stories (some released under the pen name Kira Harp.)
My husband finally convinced me that after all the years of writing for fun, I really should submit something, somewhere. My first professionally published book, Life Lessons, came out from MLR Press in May 2011. I have a weakness for closeted cops with honest hearts, and teachers who speak their minds, and I had fun writing four novels and three freebie short stories in that series. I was delighted and encouraged by the reception Mac and Tony received.
I now have a good-sized backlist in ebooks and print, both free and professionally published. A complete list with links can be found on my website "Books" page at https://kajeharper.com/.
You can find me and my book reviews on my author page here on Goodreads - I hang out on Goodreads a lot because I moderate the Goodreads YA LGBT Books group. I also post free short YA stories on that group, more than 50 of them so far.
You can also find me on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/KajeHarper
I was born in Montreal but have lived for 30 years in Minnesota, where the two seasons are Snow-removal and Road-repair, where the mosquito is the state bird, and where winter can be breathtakingly beautiful. Minnesota’s a kind, quiet (if sometimes chilly) place and it’s home.
I’ve been writing far longer than I care to admit (*whispers – fifty years*), mostly for my own entertainment, usually M/M romance (with added mystery, fantasy, historical, SciFi…) I also have a few Young Adult stories (some released under the pen name Kira Harp.)
My husband finally convinced me that after all the years of writing for fun, I really should submit something, somewhere. My first professionally published book, Life Lessons, came out from MLR Press in May 2011. I have a weakness for closeted cops with honest hearts, and teachers who speak their minds, and I had fun writing four novels and three freebie short stories in that series. I was delighted and encouraged by the reception Mac and Tony received.
I now have a good-sized backlist in ebooks and print, both free and professionally published. A complete list with links can be found on my website "Books" page at https://kajeharper.com/.
You can find me and my book reviews on my author page here on Goodreads - I hang out on Goodreads a lot because I moderate the Goodreads YA LGBT Books group. I also post free short YA stories on that group, more than 50 of them so far.
You can also find me on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/KajeHarper
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews
January 22, 2016
2 boring stars. DNF @40%.
Due to personal reasons, I no longer review books that get less than three stars from me. In order that I can remember why a book didn't work out for me, I've decided to file them accordingly. Meaning, I had to extend my shelves substantially.
*****************************
Pre-reading Tracefinder:
Oh yeah. So going to read this one. The blurb sounds promising. Besides, I've enjoyed quite a few of her other books in the past.
I might be a little bit excited...
Due to personal reasons, I no longer review books that get less than three stars from me. In order that I can remember why a book didn't work out for me, I've decided to file them accordingly. Meaning, I had to extend my shelves substantially.
*****************************
Pre-reading Tracefinder:
Oh yeah. So going to read this one. The blurb sounds promising. Besides, I've enjoyed quite a few of her other books in the past.
I might be a little bit excited...
January 27, 2016
*3.5 stars*
It is no secret that I adore Kaje Harper. I've read 12 of her books, and my average rating for her stuff is ridiculously high. She is always in my top 10 list of favorite authors. I say this time and time again, but Kaje Harper just writes the kind of stuff that I love to read!
I admire so much about Kaje Harper's writing, if I can gush for a second. First of all, she is always challenging herself to write in new genres. She isn't a one trick pony. Kaje can write the pants off a contemporary, a paranormal, a romantic suspense, a historical; you name it and she can write it. The other thing that Kaje does so well is write sloooooow burn. If you like to wait for your MCs to get together, Kaje is the author for you!
This book is like slow-burn on crack. In fact, it is so slow burn that I'm not sure there is much burn there at all. It is like a pilot light instead of a real flame. Brian and Nick are an unusual couple to say the least, if you could call them a couple at all. At the end of this book, there is barely even a HFN, though most of the main conflict in the story is resolved.
I found the plot for this book extremely interesting. Brian is a complex character, a mix of someone with some sort of psychiatric disorder and paranormal talent. I found him to be multi-layered almost to the point of being confusing for me to understand, and I think I'll enjoy getting to know him more.
Nick is also unique. I'm not sure about how I feel about his multitude of secrets and his love of getting into fights to relieve tension, and I think Kaje has a hell of a time figuring out how to resolve those issues for his character.
Brian and Nick together... that I've had to mull over. They have chemistry and I like their pairing, but I think they have to evolve a lot more for me to visualize them as a couple. I think I have to see them more as equals to get behind them as a pair. There is some imbalance there that I'm not comfortable with yet, and I think they need more solid ground and have some growing to do.
I really liked the plot, though romantic suspense (or suspense of any kind) usually makes me uncomfortable. Just a warning: this book is looooooong. Like very long. You need patience to enjoy this one. However, I found Brian's family dynamics alone to be enough to drive a lot of the story, and the action kept the pace from being painfully slow.
While this isn't close to my favorite Kaje Harper book, I think that it is a promising start to a new series. I look forward to seeing where the author takes this one because I think there is the potential there for a very powerful romance.
**Copy provided by the author in exchange for an honest review**
It is no secret that I adore Kaje Harper. I've read 12 of her books, and my average rating for her stuff is ridiculously high. She is always in my top 10 list of favorite authors. I say this time and time again, but Kaje Harper just writes the kind of stuff that I love to read!
I admire so much about Kaje Harper's writing, if I can gush for a second. First of all, she is always challenging herself to write in new genres. She isn't a one trick pony. Kaje can write the pants off a contemporary, a paranormal, a romantic suspense, a historical; you name it and she can write it. The other thing that Kaje does so well is write sloooooow burn. If you like to wait for your MCs to get together, Kaje is the author for you!
This book is like slow-burn on crack. In fact, it is so slow burn that I'm not sure there is much burn there at all. It is like a pilot light instead of a real flame. Brian and Nick are an unusual couple to say the least, if you could call them a couple at all. At the end of this book, there is barely even a HFN, though most of the main conflict in the story is resolved.
I found the plot for this book extremely interesting. Brian is a complex character, a mix of someone with some sort of psychiatric disorder and paranormal talent. I found him to be multi-layered almost to the point of being confusing for me to understand, and I think I'll enjoy getting to know him more.
Nick is also unique. I'm not sure about how I feel about his multitude of secrets and his love of getting into fights to relieve tension, and I think Kaje has a hell of a time figuring out how to resolve those issues for his character.
Brian and Nick together... that I've had to mull over. They have chemistry and I like their pairing, but I think they have to evolve a lot more for me to visualize them as a couple. I think I have to see them more as equals to get behind them as a pair. There is some imbalance there that I'm not comfortable with yet, and I think they need more solid ground and have some growing to do.
I really liked the plot, though romantic suspense (or suspense of any kind) usually makes me uncomfortable. Just a warning: this book is looooooong. Like very long. You need patience to enjoy this one. However, I found Brian's family dynamics alone to be enough to drive a lot of the story, and the action kept the pace from being painfully slow.
While this isn't close to my favorite Kaje Harper book, I think that it is a promising start to a new series. I look forward to seeing where the author takes this one because I think there is the potential there for a very powerful romance.
**Copy provided by the author in exchange for an honest review**
Read
August 25, 2020Book 3 in this series - Tracefinder: Choices - is now released, and book 1 is now .99 on all vendors.
March 21, 2017
Maybe this was wrong. Maybe they were doomed to disaster. But just maybe, before it all came crashing down, they could keep making a dent in the unfairness of the world
I am no fan of the Paranormal genre, but I did like this one. This story focuses on the actions of a crime boss with the help of the Kerr brothers. Victims of a drug addicted mother and poverty the Kerr siblings learn to rely on their older brother Damon from a early age on. With Brian's "talent" of finding people Damon succeeds to catch the attention of a crime boss, Vern, who takes them in and turns Brian's talent in a dark thing to track down disloyal employees and have Damon kill them. Vern marries their sister Lori and uses the boys in his operation and in return gives them the shelter and "easy" life they have lacked.
Catching wind of Vern's operations the police sends in officer Nick Rugo to infiltrate and gather information to bring him down. Nick, struggling with his own childhood demons and finding release in the occasional bar-fight, meets Brian. As emotions and feelings surges Nick has to cope with the decision of doing his job or saving Brian.
Having a severe form of dyslexia, Brian has been told his entire life that he is stupid and, were it not for his Finding talent, would have been dismissed all together.
The heat meter in this book is very low, but exactly enough for this story. It is not the focus of this very intriguing novel.
I am very looking forward to book 2, since I do feel there are a lot of loose ends that need to be tied-up. I would like to know if, besides the dyslexia, what is going on with Brian because KH lets you to believe he is highly intelligent.
I am no fan of the Paranormal genre, but I did like this one. This story focuses on the actions of a crime boss with the help of the Kerr brothers. Victims of a drug addicted mother and poverty the Kerr siblings learn to rely on their older brother Damon from a early age on. With Brian's "talent" of finding people Damon succeeds to catch the attention of a crime boss, Vern, who takes them in and turns Brian's talent in a dark thing to track down disloyal employees and have Damon kill them. Vern marries their sister Lori and uses the boys in his operation and in return gives them the shelter and "easy" life they have lacked.
Catching wind of Vern's operations the police sends in officer Nick Rugo to infiltrate and gather information to bring him down. Nick, struggling with his own childhood demons and finding release in the occasional bar-fight, meets Brian. As emotions and feelings surges Nick has to cope with the decision of doing his job or saving Brian.
Having a severe form of dyslexia, Brian has been told his entire life that he is stupid and, were it not for his Finding talent, would have been dismissed all together.
The heat meter in this book is very low, but exactly enough for this story. It is not the focus of this very intriguing novel.
I am very looking forward to book 2, since I do feel there are a lot of loose ends that need to be tied-up. I would like to know if, besides the dyslexia, what is going on with Brian because KH lets you to believe he is highly intelligent.
June 11, 2023
Goodreads deleted my original review when I marked the book as read for the 2nd time on the app 😡🤬🤬🤬
...
*exhales*
...
As far as I remember, my original review was a 5 star read with lots of gushing.
Luckily I backed up all my books on StoryGraph and Library Thing~~
💠💠💠
Original review 01/2018: 5 stars
Just. Wow.
Even though it's really long (compared to my usual reads), I finished it in a day. Why? Because I couldn't sleep before reading just one more chapter. This story just sucked me in and wouldn't let go until it was finished. The characters were compelling, the story interesting, the writing (as always) superb.
The ending is cliffhanger-ish though, so after all the rush to finish it and not getting the answer I was waiting for, I felt kind of cheated. But I'm also glad because getting the answer and the hea right away would have felt rushed. Looking forward to the sequel(s)!
💠💠💠
Re-read 06/2023: 4 stars
I loved the story. I love how well and realistic Kaje Harper writes everything, but especially her characters. The book ends in a cliffhanger (kinda), and I would recommend reading it only if you have the sequel(s) ready.
...
*exhales*
...
Luckily I backed up all my books on StoryGraph and Library Thing~~
💠💠💠
Original review 01/2018: 5 stars
Just. Wow.
Even though it's really long (compared to my usual reads), I finished it in a day. Why? Because I couldn't sleep before reading just one more chapter. This story just sucked me in and wouldn't let go until it was finished. The characters were compelling, the story interesting, the writing (as always) superb.
The ending is cliffhanger-ish though, so after all the rush to finish it and not getting the answer I was waiting for, I felt kind of cheated. But I'm also glad because getting the answer and the hea right away would have felt rushed. Looking forward to the sequel(s)!
💠💠💠
Re-read 06/2023: 4 stars
I loved the story. I love how well and realistic Kaje Harper writes everything, but especially her characters. The book ends in a cliffhanger (kinda), and I would recommend reading it only if you have the sequel(s) ready.
January 28, 2016
4,5 stars.
Loved the introducing book to Kaje's new series. Loved Brian and Nick!
Compared to Mac and Tony from Life Lessons they are a very different couple and I'm sure their still developing relationship is going to be a very challenging one.
I'm in for the ride and can't wait for the next book.
January 14, 2016
I have changed my rating from 3 stars to 4 stars, because after writing my review I’ve come to the conclusion that this is a story that needs a lot of words, so the fact that the romance is a slow one, felt real and I just need to be more patient and wait for the next book.
-----------------
Warning: This book is part of a series and NOTHING is resolved at the end of this (long) book.
Things I liked:
- I really liked Brian. I also liked that he acted as Bry so many years, he wasn’t sure who was the real him anymore. No instant cure for him. That felt real. Brian went through so much, he needed therapy. No magical healing by dick here.
- I liked how Nick was with Brian. He genuinely cared about him.
- The Tracefinder thing was really cool, I wish there was more of that in this book.
Things I liked less:
- The relationship between Nick and Brian was just getting started. There wasn’t a lot of romance in this book (don’t read this book if you want a lot of smut).
- I don’t know if I really liked Nick. I’m not quite sure why actually. He’s not your standard hero. He is a cop, but he also a human being. Perhaps I’m just too used to the cop being the one true hero in stories?
- The lies. Yes, Nick meant well, but I foresee massive amounts of angst in the future.
Overall I am very intrigued and will definitely read the rest of the series, but this book in itself didn’t blow me away.
It could be I am changing my rating after I read the rest, because sometimes you can't just rate a book alone when it's part of a series.
-----------------
Warning: This book is part of a series and NOTHING is resolved at the end of this (long) book.
Things I liked:
- I really liked Brian. I also liked that he acted as Bry so many years, he wasn’t sure who was the real him anymore. No instant cure for him. That felt real. Brian went through so much, he needed therapy. No magical healing by dick here.
- I liked how Nick was with Brian. He genuinely cared about him.
- The Tracefinder thing was really cool, I wish there was more of that in this book.
Things I liked less:
- The relationship between Nick and Brian was just getting started. There wasn’t a lot of romance in this book (don’t read this book if you want a lot of smut).
- I don’t know if I really liked Nick. I’m not quite sure why actually. He’s not your standard hero. He is a cop, but he also a human being. Perhaps I’m just too used to the cop being the one true hero in stories?
- The lies. Yes, Nick meant well, but I foresee massive amounts of angst in the future.
Overall I am very intrigued and will definitely read the rest of the series, but this book in itself didn’t blow me away.
It could be I am changing my rating after I read the rest, because sometimes you can't just rate a book alone when it's part of a series.
April 25, 2020
3.5 stars
I was just going to leave a rating and move on because I’m finding really hard to write reviews lately and this book in particular isn’t making it any easier, but I want to say a couple of things to clarify my rating.
This story was great and original, the characters very complex and layered, the main couple, of course, but also the secondary characters. Brian’s brother, Damon, felt especially realistic as a criminal and a cold-blooded killer, but also a protective and fiercely loyal brother.
None of that came as a surprise, writing great books is what Kaje Harper does, after all.
Why the rounding down, then?
I’m not sure, exactly.
I’ve tried to pinpoint what felt off, what didn’t work, but I haven’t a clear enough idea to put it in coherent terms. The closest way I can describe it is that I think she succeeded a little bit too well into selling me these characters as imperfect and vulnerable, their situation as not black and white and some parts of their story left me uncomfortable. Even if I enjoyed it a lot, in general.
All that to say: it’s me, not the book.
I was just going to leave a rating and move on because I’m finding really hard to write reviews lately and this book in particular isn’t making it any easier, but I want to say a couple of things to clarify my rating.
This story was great and original, the characters very complex and layered, the main couple, of course, but also the secondary characters. Brian’s brother, Damon, felt especially realistic as a criminal and a cold-blooded killer, but also a protective and fiercely loyal brother.
None of that came as a surprise, writing great books is what Kaje Harper does, after all.
Why the rounding down, then?
I’m not sure, exactly.
I’ve tried to pinpoint what felt off, what didn’t work, but I haven’t a clear enough idea to put it in coherent terms. The closest way I can describe it is that I think she succeeded a little bit too well into selling me these characters as imperfect and vulnerable, their situation as not black and white and some parts of their story left me uncomfortable. Even if I enjoyed it a lot, in general.
All that to say: it’s me, not the book.
March 11, 2018
An usual contemporary with a paranormal twist and flawed characters of a rather different type. This one set itself apart from most that I’ve read and stuck in my head (in a good way). Each and every character is interesting, multi-layered, and well-drawn, the pacing moved well, and there were even well-handled animal characters which is always a plus for me. This story unfolds slowly, but didn't take long to see that if you love broken boys, this series promises to be a find indeed.
Not high on the heat meter and even the romance element is on the milder side, but that seems fitting given the characters in this story. Nick Rugo and Brian Kerr are worlds apart in many ways, but they share difficult childhoods that have left them trying hold themselves together by whatever means they can. Nick often deals by lashing out in physical violence such as bar fights, while Brian deals by hiding within himself behind the persona of a simpleton called Bry. But is Bry real or did Brian create him as a cover? Even Brian himself seems confused on that point.
The author rather leaves us guessing as to exactly what's wrong with Brian And I actually loved that. It kept me thinking and guessing and trying to piece things out.
In the end, I decided that regardless of how slow Brian might be, one thing is for sure, he’s far from stupid. His intelligence shines though to me in many ways. Devising an intricate ruse/cover (or even playing into it) and keeping it up over the long haul wouldn’t have been easy. I loved how sometimes Brian’s true intelligence would slip out in the things he said, and how adept he was at covering them up with quick thinking and acting. Also Brian certainly seemed to have a handle on good/bad and right/wrong–he continuously makes insightful and succinct judgments about those around him and his insights into the motivations of others showed a high degree of intuitiveness.
I applaud the author for tackling this rather different type of romance. At first I had a hard time seeing how these two could forge a relationship that would believably complement each other without being woefully uneven, without one being more of a caregiver. By the end of the book, the author had me believably seeing how these two men complemented each other, how each had needs that the other met, and that they were if not equal, at least moving towards it. I felt the sexy bits were skillfully handled and fitting for this couple.
Brian’s siblings, Lori and Damon, are also nuanced characters with complicated motivations that make them far from black/white, bad/good. I’m glad this will be a series because there are so many questions still in my mind, so many things I’d love to explore and learn about all of them.
Not high on the heat meter and even the romance element is on the milder side, but that seems fitting given the characters in this story. Nick Rugo and Brian Kerr are worlds apart in many ways, but they share difficult childhoods that have left them trying hold themselves together by whatever means they can. Nick often deals by lashing out in physical violence such as bar fights, while Brian deals by hiding within himself behind the persona of a simpleton called Bry. But is Bry real or did Brian create him as a cover? Even Brian himself seems confused on that point.
The author rather leaves us guessing as to exactly what's wrong with Brian And I actually loved that. It kept me thinking and guessing and trying to piece things out.
In the end, I decided that regardless of how slow Brian might be, one thing is for sure, he’s far from stupid. His intelligence shines though to me in many ways. Devising an intricate ruse/cover (or even playing into it) and keeping it up over the long haul wouldn’t have been easy. I loved how sometimes Brian’s true intelligence would slip out in the things he said, and how adept he was at covering them up with quick thinking and acting. Also Brian certainly seemed to have a handle on good/bad and right/wrong–he continuously makes insightful and succinct judgments about those around him and his insights into the motivations of others showed a high degree of intuitiveness.
I applaud the author for tackling this rather different type of romance. At first I had a hard time seeing how these two could forge a relationship that would believably complement each other without being woefully uneven, without one being more of a caregiver. By the end of the book, the author had me believably seeing how these two men complemented each other, how each had needs that the other met, and that they were if not equal, at least moving towards it. I felt the sexy bits were skillfully handled and fitting for this couple.
Brian’s siblings, Lori and Damon, are also nuanced characters with complicated motivations that make them far from black/white, bad/good. I’m glad this will be a series because there are so many questions still in my mind, so many things I’d love to explore and learn about all of them.
October 31, 2018
This was a bit angstier than I prefer in a romance, although I appreciate that Harper makes her protagonists grapple realistically with the ethical quandaries of their positions as, respectively, an undercover investigator and a decent person who is working for a criminal. Definitely prefer this approach to the cop-out ones where the problematic elements are glossed over. I did start wondering around 80% how the complex situation could be resolved happily, and the answer is that it is isn't really, the book just ends, so that was disappointing, but overall I enjoyed the read and I liked the characters. Would read more* by this author.
*I really thought I had read something of KH's years ago and liked it, but I don't see any plot descriptions that match my recollection. Conflating with some other author with the same initials, possibly.
*I really thought I had read something of KH's years ago and liked it, but I don't see any plot descriptions that match my recollection. Conflating with some other author with the same initials, possibly.
March 28, 2016
It has been a couple of days since I finished this, I still don't really have a lot to write about it, other than yes I loved this. So you might have to read other MORE helpful reviews :)
All I know, Kaje Harper was able to engage me into the life of Nick and Bryan in 141k words (yes, 400+ pages), without feeling that the story needed to be trim down. It is not something that all authors can achieve, in my opinion, especially in romance genre. ALTHOUGH, I'm a little unsure about calling this installment a romance based on the plot as well as the ending. Maybe a suspense with romantic element?
Anyway, I feel that every scene is important for Nick and Bryan's as characters and in their further relationship development. I am now waiting patiently for the next book, to see what Kaje Harper will bring me next.
All I know, Kaje Harper was able to engage me into the life of Nick and Bryan in 141k words (yes, 400+ pages), without feeling that the story needed to be trim down. It is not something that all authors can achieve, in my opinion, especially in romance genre. ALTHOUGH, I'm a little unsure about calling this installment a romance based on the plot as well as the ending. Maybe a suspense with romantic element?
Anyway, I feel that every scene is important for Nick and Bryan's as characters and in their further relationship development. I am now waiting patiently for the next book, to see what Kaje Harper will bring me next.
February 8, 2017
I'm writing a review for Gay.Guy.Reading and Friends. I'll add a link when it's available.
4 solid stars
I received a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
ETA: link to my review Gay.Guy.Reading and Friends
I just bought book 2! I'm such a slacker. ;)
4 solid stars
I received a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
ETA: link to my review Gay.Guy.Reading and Friends
I just bought book 2! I'm such a slacker. ;)
March 10, 2016
Tracefinder: Contact
(Tracefinder Book 1)
By Kaje Harper
Five stars
Kaje Harper works hard to elevate the m/m genre above the quotidian. She doesn’t dodge the appeal of classic m/m tropes (tough guy cop, fragile wounded boy-man), but she handles them with care and subtlety. Moreover, she digs deep into the hearts and souls of her characters, so that you really know them. She loves her characters, and makes us love them, too.
“Tracefinder: Contact” has all sorts of things that might displease the m/m reader. First, there’s the relative lack of sex (really, very little, and what there is, is not heavy duty). But I loved this aspect of the book, and even more because what does happen is shattering, emotionally and physically, for both characters. Secondly, there’s no HEA here. However, the ending is warm and satisfied me fully—because I know it’s the first of a series. Some people might say it’s not romantic enough, but I found it intensely romantic. The biggest issue is the power difference between the two MCs—the cop, Nick Rugo, and the “special” guy, Brian Kerr. Nick is deceitful from the start—he meets Brian as part of a police deep undercover assignment. He manipulates Brian to serve his purposes as a policeman. This, of course, is exactly the tension that makes the book so morally complex.
The core of the book’s success for me (and five stars is rare in my review world) is Nick and Brian. The perspective shifts smoothly between the two men, and we see how they view each other as well as how their minds work. The fact that both men are gay and self-accepting is important. None of the moral dilemmas here stem from sexual identity. Brian is the more troubling character, because it’s not clear what his issues are other than severe dyslexia and his paranormal ability to Find. I would maintain, however, that all the ambiguity as to Brian’s mental state is only suggestive, rather than diagnostic. Brian surely has psychological issues, but so does Nick, with his underlying need to strike out and fight. I felt that I understood both men pretty deeply by the end. Indeed, I think Harper is clever enough so that only the reader really understands Brian. Moreover, I think Brian understands Nick better than Nick understands Brian. The discomfort created by Nick’s deception is mitigated, for me at least, by the pains Nick takes to protect Brian and to minimize it. Nick’s essential good nature—which is clear from the start, but brought into higher relief as we learn more and more of his past story—is the reason I never felt he was really betraying Brian. The tension between his duty as a police officer and his moral obligations to an innocent young man were palpable; but Harper makes it pretty clear that the cut-and-dried viewpoint of the police is far from perfect in a situation as complex as the one Nick faces with Brian.
Is Brian criminal, or a victim of criminals? Is he defenseless, or does this damaged young man have more agency than we (and Nick) see at first? Similarly, we can’t just dismiss Nick as a user, because from the very beginning his affection for and treatment of Brian make it clear that he sees Brian as a person first, and a means to an end second. Which, of course, is the problem.
I’ve purposely avoided any plot details except for Brian’s Finding gift. This bit of paranormal magic is woven throughout the story, and becomes a powerful motivating force for both Brian and Nick. Harper handles Brian’s supernatural ability so clinically, describing it so much in terms of how it affects him physically, that we almost forget we’re dealing with something paranormal. Brian’s power ties him to Nick so strongly because both men understand both the danger and the potential of it.
I can’t wait for book 2 to appear. Without being a cliffhanger, the ending left some big questions to be answered. But Harper left me with such a strong sense of these two men that I am not troubled. I
(Tracefinder Book 1)
By Kaje Harper
Five stars
Kaje Harper works hard to elevate the m/m genre above the quotidian. She doesn’t dodge the appeal of classic m/m tropes (tough guy cop, fragile wounded boy-man), but she handles them with care and subtlety. Moreover, she digs deep into the hearts and souls of her characters, so that you really know them. She loves her characters, and makes us love them, too.
“Tracefinder: Contact” has all sorts of things that might displease the m/m reader. First, there’s the relative lack of sex (really, very little, and what there is, is not heavy duty). But I loved this aspect of the book, and even more because what does happen is shattering, emotionally and physically, for both characters. Secondly, there’s no HEA here. However, the ending is warm and satisfied me fully—because I know it’s the first of a series. Some people might say it’s not romantic enough, but I found it intensely romantic. The biggest issue is the power difference between the two MCs—the cop, Nick Rugo, and the “special” guy, Brian Kerr. Nick is deceitful from the start—he meets Brian as part of a police deep undercover assignment. He manipulates Brian to serve his purposes as a policeman. This, of course, is exactly the tension that makes the book so morally complex.
The core of the book’s success for me (and five stars is rare in my review world) is Nick and Brian. The perspective shifts smoothly between the two men, and we see how they view each other as well as how their minds work. The fact that both men are gay and self-accepting is important. None of the moral dilemmas here stem from sexual identity. Brian is the more troubling character, because it’s not clear what his issues are other than severe dyslexia and his paranormal ability to Find. I would maintain, however, that all the ambiguity as to Brian’s mental state is only suggestive, rather than diagnostic. Brian surely has psychological issues, but so does Nick, with his underlying need to strike out and fight. I felt that I understood both men pretty deeply by the end. Indeed, I think Harper is clever enough so that only the reader really understands Brian. Moreover, I think Brian understands Nick better than Nick understands Brian. The discomfort created by Nick’s deception is mitigated, for me at least, by the pains Nick takes to protect Brian and to minimize it. Nick’s essential good nature—which is clear from the start, but brought into higher relief as we learn more and more of his past story—is the reason I never felt he was really betraying Brian. The tension between his duty as a police officer and his moral obligations to an innocent young man were palpable; but Harper makes it pretty clear that the cut-and-dried viewpoint of the police is far from perfect in a situation as complex as the one Nick faces with Brian.
Is Brian criminal, or a victim of criminals? Is he defenseless, or does this damaged young man have more agency than we (and Nick) see at first? Similarly, we can’t just dismiss Nick as a user, because from the very beginning his affection for and treatment of Brian make it clear that he sees Brian as a person first, and a means to an end second. Which, of course, is the problem.
I’ve purposely avoided any plot details except for Brian’s Finding gift. This bit of paranormal magic is woven throughout the story, and becomes a powerful motivating force for both Brian and Nick. Harper handles Brian’s supernatural ability so clinically, describing it so much in terms of how it affects him physically, that we almost forget we’re dealing with something paranormal. Brian’s power ties him to Nick so strongly because both men understand both the danger and the potential of it.
I can’t wait for book 2 to appear. Without being a cliffhanger, the ending left some big questions to be answered. But Harper left me with such a strong sense of these two men that I am not troubled. I
December 27, 2024
Brian siente que no tiene nadie en quien confiar, y depende casi por completo de su hermano, pero no le gusta como lo "obligan" a utilizar su don para hacer daño a los demás. Por eso creo a Bry, una parte de él mismo que es mucho mas simple, que no puede leer, no entiende a la gente y solo quiere "ayudar" a sus hermanos. Sin embargo, un día conoce a Nick, un hombre diferente pero muy parecido a su hermano, y siente una atracción hacia él, siente confianza y apoyo de su parte. Será posible que pueda contarle su secreto? Será posible que lo ayude a dejar de hacer lo que su hermano le pide?
Nick es un policía de patrulla con una vida sencilla, pero cuando es reclutado para trabajar de encubierto para descubrir y atrapar a un creador/distribuidor de drogas que esta matando a jóvenes, no espera encontrar a alguien dentro de la organización que le simpatice. Así que cuando conoce a Bry, entiende que es diferente y que quiere salir, intenta pensar en que puede ayudarlo a armar el caso contra el ganster. Sin embargo, comienza a sentir algo por el hombre y eso puede poner en peligro su caso. Será capaz de dejar sus sentimientos de lado para encontrar la evidencia? Será capaz de dejar a Bry una vez se cierre el caso?
Este libro lo comencé a leer porque lo tenía descargado en el celular, y de a poco lo termine. No es un libro que te atrape, aunque si tiene buenos momentos. Tampoco es un libro lleno de acción, es mas bien lento. Pero si uno lo lee con calma vas tomando los detalles de aquí y allá que te permiten seguir la lectura y no abandonarlo.
Sin embargo, no sabia que era el inicio de una serie basada en los dos prota, y me imagino, como se desarrolla su relación y como usa Bry su poder, y pensé, mientras leía, que iba a tener un HEA, pero me sorprendió que apenas termina con ellos en una especie de tregua. Por todo esto, voy a colocar el siguiente en mi lista WTB, pero no se si lo leeré en algún momento.
Nick es un policía de patrulla con una vida sencilla, pero cuando es reclutado para trabajar de encubierto para descubrir y atrapar a un creador/distribuidor de drogas que esta matando a jóvenes, no espera encontrar a alguien dentro de la organización que le simpatice. Así que cuando conoce a Bry, entiende que es diferente y que quiere salir, intenta pensar en que puede ayudarlo a armar el caso contra el ganster. Sin embargo, comienza a sentir algo por el hombre y eso puede poner en peligro su caso. Será capaz de dejar sus sentimientos de lado para encontrar la evidencia? Será capaz de dejar a Bry una vez se cierre el caso?
Este libro lo comencé a leer porque lo tenía descargado en el celular, y de a poco lo termine. No es un libro que te atrape, aunque si tiene buenos momentos. Tampoco es un libro lleno de acción, es mas bien lento. Pero si uno lo lee con calma vas tomando los detalles de aquí y allá que te permiten seguir la lectura y no abandonarlo.
Sin embargo, no sabia que era el inicio de una serie basada en los dos prota, y me imagino, como se desarrolla su relación y como usa Bry su poder, y pensé, mientras leía, que iba a tener un HEA, pero me sorprendió que apenas termina con ellos en una especie de tregua. Por todo esto, voy a colocar el siguiente en mi lista WTB, pero no se si lo leeré en algún momento.
August 11, 2025
That was amazing and I'm sold on reading the next one. I cannot give this a 5 because of some tricky issues with the ethics in their relationship. Nick is a cop and they become close when he's undercover to spy on Brian's family. The relationship is murky all the way past the end of the book.
But, I loved it and I hope they get their happily ever after. There is so much to unpack and I am not adequate to the job. Gotta go read reviews!
But, I loved it and I hope they get their happily ever after. There is so much to unpack and I am not adequate to the job. Gotta go read reviews!
February 5, 2016
I want to praise this story for having a main character who is NOT your average muscled romance hero type (even though I love that type, just saying). I hope I'm phrasing this politically correctly, but Brian is a slightly mentally challenged guy who relies heavily on his brother and sister in his everyday life. Damon and Lori are criminals working for a drug lord, though, so poor Brian lives a life in a grey zone where he learned early on not to ask too many questions.
He's a good guy. He wants to help people and he is grateful to Damon and Lori for being there for him. Although Brian is gay, he is not able to live his sexuality, as he is more or less a prisoner in the luxurious mansion of Damon's employer (and Lori's husband). He only gets out when he accompanies his brother during a night out at the 'Torchhouse' bar that usually ends with brawls and lots of alcohol.
Brian notices a handsome stranger fighting at the bar who slowly gets acquainted with Damon and his friends. They soon hire the guy, nicknamed 'No Knife Nick', as a driver in their employer's illegal drug operation and Brian quickly befriends Nick and develops a deep bond with the guy.
When Brian learns that a little kid in Nick's neighborhood was lost and Nick wants to help find the girl, he feels confident enough to share the knowledge of his secret ability with him. It's the no. 1 reason why Brian and his siblings are in the employ of the drug lord: Brian is able to find people by touching a thing that belonged to them - like a real life psychic. He hopes he can trust Nick with this knowledge, because he hardly knows the guy, but when Nick realizes that Brian's abilities are actually real, Brian needs to learn once again whom he can trust in his life.
I liked Nick and I totally loved Brian. However, as a m/m pairing they did not really work for me. However, they are not even presented as a gay couple in the book, so this might not really count as a m/m romance anyway.
Beside the actual crime plot, the story revolves around Brian finding his independece in life. He starts out as a shy 21 year old guy who hides behind a child-like persona which is his personal recipe to survive among the badass criminals he is surrounded with. Nick is the only one he is willing to open up and show his 'real self' to. Brian is not intellectually challenged (at least not to a severe degree), but he cannot read due to his dyslexia and he is the product of an overall bad childhood with a drug addict mother and a criminal brother.
In the course of the story, the bond between Brian and his siblings is cut and Brian needs to learn how to stand on his own feet in life.
His supernatural ability is not really the main focus of the story, surprisingly.
Making a long story short, this is an unusual book with characters that are anything but mainstream in romance. I think that deserves to be acknowledged.
Reading about Brian's struggles was really gut-wrenching for me, though.
Still, 4 solid stars for Brian. Guys like him deserve their happy ends and are way too often overlooked in the m/m genre. Not everyone can or should be Channing Tatum ;-)
He's a good guy. He wants to help people and he is grateful to Damon and Lori for being there for him. Although Brian is gay, he is not able to live his sexuality, as he is more or less a prisoner in the luxurious mansion of Damon's employer (and Lori's husband). He only gets out when he accompanies his brother during a night out at the 'Torchhouse' bar that usually ends with brawls and lots of alcohol.
Brian notices a handsome stranger fighting at the bar who slowly gets acquainted with Damon and his friends. They soon hire the guy, nicknamed 'No Knife Nick', as a driver in their employer's illegal drug operation and Brian quickly befriends Nick and develops a deep bond with the guy.
When Brian learns that a little kid in Nick's neighborhood was lost and Nick wants to help find the girl, he feels confident enough to share the knowledge of his secret ability with him. It's the no. 1 reason why Brian and his siblings are in the employ of the drug lord: Brian is able to find people by touching a thing that belonged to them - like a real life psychic. He hopes he can trust Nick with this knowledge, because he hardly knows the guy, but when Nick realizes that Brian's abilities are actually real, Brian needs to learn once again whom he can trust in his life.
I liked Nick and I totally loved Brian. However, as a m/m pairing they did not really work for me. However, they are not even presented as a gay couple in the book, so this might not really count as a m/m romance anyway.
Beside the actual crime plot, the story revolves around Brian finding his independece in life. He starts out as a shy 21 year old guy who hides behind a child-like persona which is his personal recipe to survive among the badass criminals he is surrounded with. Nick is the only one he is willing to open up and show his 'real self' to. Brian is not intellectually challenged (at least not to a severe degree), but he cannot read due to his dyslexia and he is the product of an overall bad childhood with a drug addict mother and a criminal brother.
In the course of the story, the bond between Brian and his siblings is cut and Brian needs to learn how to stand on his own feet in life.
His supernatural ability is not really the main focus of the story, surprisingly.
Making a long story short, this is an unusual book with characters that are anything but mainstream in romance. I think that deserves to be acknowledged.
Reading about Brian's struggles was really gut-wrenching for me, though.
Still, 4 solid stars for Brian. Guys like him deserve their happy ends and are way too often overlooked in the m/m genre. Not everyone can or should be Channing Tatum ;-)
January 11, 2016
3.5 stars Review @Oh my shelves Blog
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I have so many conflicted emotions on this book. It was a really good story, and that writing is the usual best from Kaje Harper. Some will read this and say it isn't as romance-y as they would want it. I'm on the minority because I'm super glad that romance kinda played in the background of the story. After I finished reading it, I was unsure of my thoughts regarding the main character's relationship. Brian Kerr is a special needs person, and it's not clear by the end what he really suffers from. Dyslexia is a sure thing, but the other terms like Schziophernia, and Dissociative Identity Disorder is mentioned. Don't get me wrong, people with mental illness should be able to love when, and whomever they want to. My thing was I felt like his entire life people have taken advantage of him, and the one person he opens up to takes advantage of him in my opinion. I'm not saying Nick did it to be malicious, but I was pissed that he took it there seeing as he was not being his truthful self that was needed.
Onto the story itself it was good. My kind of suspense and thriller with a little paranormal thrown into it. We start off with Nick fighting in a bar, Nick who has a mantra about himself earning his name. On the other hand, we have Nick the cop. Nick rides that fine line between his morals as a person and a cop. Reading this book, I'm kinda surprised on his morals as a cop. It doesn't seem like he cares about anyone else. In the next book, I hope we get to see more of his self and his past. Hopefully things work out. I liked the characters in the story alot. These are people that I can definitely see on screen as well. The characters are so real, and gritty. Damon and Lori are bad ass! Say what you want, and they might not care about other people but they are family and they stick together. I honestly understand why they are the way they are. Their childhood was screwed up. They survived by using what they got. As much as I despised some of Damon's actions in the story, I love him for never giving up on his brother. Loved seeing the drama surrounding some of the characters. I really enjoyed how the story came to. I was so freaking nervous about Nick & Brian. It literally was a point in the story where I cried at 72% and I don't know if that was the author's expectations, but those scenes all the way to the end had me in tears. I cried off and on, until the very last page.
I was so conflicted that I had to email Kaje Harper and ask her certain questions! She was a doll for answering them. I really love her work, and I always say this but she is a realistic writer in my opinion. Everything happening in this story you can definitely picturing it happening in a suburb somewhere, and these characters are somewhere out there in the world. Don't know what's in store for book two, but I'm ecstatic for what's more to come.
**This book was given to me in exchange for an unbiased review**
__________________________________________________________
I have so many conflicted emotions on this book. It was a really good story, and that writing is the usual best from Kaje Harper. Some will read this and say it isn't as romance-y as they would want it. I'm on the minority because I'm super glad that romance kinda played in the background of the story. After I finished reading it, I was unsure of my thoughts regarding the main character's relationship. Brian Kerr is a special needs person, and it's not clear by the end what he really suffers from. Dyslexia is a sure thing, but the other terms like Schziophernia, and Dissociative Identity Disorder is mentioned. Don't get me wrong, people with mental illness should be able to love when, and whomever they want to. My thing was I felt like his entire life people have taken advantage of him, and the one person he opens up to takes advantage of him in my opinion. I'm not saying Nick did it to be malicious, but I was pissed that he took it there seeing as he was not being his truthful self that was needed.
Onto the story itself it was good. My kind of suspense and thriller with a little paranormal thrown into it. We start off with Nick fighting in a bar, Nick who has a mantra about himself earning his name. On the other hand, we have Nick the cop. Nick rides that fine line between his morals as a person and a cop. Reading this book, I'm kinda surprised on his morals as a cop. It doesn't seem like he cares about anyone else. In the next book, I hope we get to see more of his self and his past. Hopefully things work out. I liked the characters in the story alot. These are people that I can definitely see on screen as well. The characters are so real, and gritty. Damon and Lori are bad ass! Say what you want, and they might not care about other people but they are family and they stick together. I honestly understand why they are the way they are. Their childhood was screwed up. They survived by using what they got. As much as I despised some of Damon's actions in the story, I love him for never giving up on his brother. Loved seeing the drama surrounding some of the characters. I really enjoyed how the story came to. I was so freaking nervous about Nick & Brian. It literally was a point in the story where I cried at 72% and I don't know if that was the author's expectations, but those scenes all the way to the end had me in tears. I cried off and on, until the very last page.
I was so conflicted that I had to email Kaje Harper and ask her certain questions! She was a doll for answering them. I really love her work, and I always say this but she is a realistic writer in my opinion. Everything happening in this story you can definitely picturing it happening in a suburb somewhere, and these characters are somewhere out there in the world. Don't know what's in store for book two, but I'm ecstatic for what's more to come.
**This book was given to me in exchange for an unbiased review**
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 28, 2016
The following review was originally posted on my book blog The Book Challengers.
Oh my! I thought that I would try the sample and see if it would be something I could enjoy... and all of a sudden I discovered that I had already purchased the book and I was already halfway through with it and it was soooo interesting and I adored Brian and Nick!!!!
The mystery or suspense part of the story kept me on my toes (or on the edge of my seat) and I love it when that happens. I hate books where I guess the entire plot in the first couple of chapters and while parts of it (e.g. Nick and Brian falling for each other) was a bit predictable, the journey there was not predictable in the slightest. At least I didn't predict it at first glance.
Sure, Brian isn't your usual m/m hero - he's a bit soft on the outside and bit loony on the inside, but he's also incredibly sweet and adorable and I love him. <3 He has had to face things his own way for years and he has a lot to learn and do, but his heart is in the right place and did I already tell you that I adore him?
Nick is more like your usual hero - the good guy who does everything in his power to do the right thing. He's somewhat ordinary, but at the same time he's anything but ordinary as it would seem that he's the only one who can really click with Brian (or his second persona Bry).
There is no "hey, I just met you and this is crazy but I'm already halfway in love with you and I think we should get married". Instead, you get the slowest of slowburns in existence and, frankly, I adore Kaje Harper just for that even though the story with the guys continues (and I hate stories where one couple's story can't be told in one book). And I bet that there will be a lot of angst for all the problems Brian has to face, for all the lies Nick has had to tell Brian.. and I really want to find out what's going to happen next!
Oh my! I thought that I would try the sample and see if it would be something I could enjoy... and all of a sudden I discovered that I had already purchased the book and I was already halfway through with it and it was soooo interesting and I adored Brian and Nick!!!!
The mystery or suspense part of the story kept me on my toes (or on the edge of my seat) and I love it when that happens. I hate books where I guess the entire plot in the first couple of chapters and while parts of it (e.g. Nick and Brian falling for each other) was a bit predictable, the journey there was not predictable in the slightest. At least I didn't predict it at first glance.
Sure, Brian isn't your usual m/m hero - he's a bit soft on the outside and bit loony on the inside, but he's also incredibly sweet and adorable and I love him. <3 He has had to face things his own way for years and he has a lot to learn and do, but his heart is in the right place and did I already tell you that I adore him?
Nick is more like your usual hero - the good guy who does everything in his power to do the right thing. He's somewhat ordinary, but at the same time he's anything but ordinary as it would seem that he's the only one who can really click with Brian (or his second persona Bry).
There is no "hey, I just met you and this is crazy but I'm already halfway in love with you and I think we should get married". Instead, you get the slowest of slowburns in existence and, frankly, I adore Kaje Harper just for that even though the story with the guys continues (and I hate stories where one couple's story can't be told in one book). And I bet that there will be a lot of angst for all the problems Brian has to face, for all the lies Nick has had to tell Brian.. and I really want to find out what's going to happen next!
January 10, 2016
Kaje Harper is an autobuy author for me.
I was thrilled to see that she has released a new book, the blurb sounded promising and the idea interesting.
Now...what a book!!
Both main characters are flawed, not perfect. Their interaction isn't always smooth. Nick is a cop with a temper, he needs to get into fights from time to time. Brian is ....well, he's Bry more often than he wants to be.
In the beginning I wondered how these two very different characters would work together, what Nick could even see in Brian and vice versa - but as always, Kaje Harper made it work.
A very important topic for me in books is if I can understand the characters motivation, why they are doing what they are doing. Kaje Harper defintely set her goal high by letting a cop "fall in love" with a mentally challenged person (Brian has his issues) - and she surpassed it.
The story is thrilling, I couldn't put it down, the cast of side characters is well done.
The book is the first in a series to come - it doesn't end with a cliffhanger (thank you Kaje, I hate those) but with a HFN. They are in a good place at the end of this story but I really can't wait to read more.
I was thrilled to see that she has released a new book, the blurb sounded promising and the idea interesting.
Now...what a book!!
Both main characters are flawed, not perfect. Their interaction isn't always smooth. Nick is a cop with a temper, he needs to get into fights from time to time. Brian is ....well, he's Bry more often than he wants to be.
In the beginning I wondered how these two very different characters would work together, what Nick could even see in Brian and vice versa - but as always, Kaje Harper made it work.
A very important topic for me in books is if I can understand the characters motivation, why they are doing what they are doing. Kaje Harper defintely set her goal high by letting a cop "fall in love" with a mentally challenged person (Brian has his issues) - and she surpassed it.
The story is thrilling, I couldn't put it down, the cast of side characters is well done.
The book is the first in a series to come - it doesn't end with a cliffhanger (thank you Kaje, I hate those) but with a HFN. They are in a good place at the end of this story but I really can't wait to read more.
January 9, 2016
I received a copy of this as a thank you for beta-reading this for the author, making this the second time I've read Tracefinder. Knowing what was going to happen didn't detract from the fun of watching the story unfold. Brian is a really unique character, layered with a lot of different aspects. Nick seems straightforward, but has unpredictable aspects to him. The secondary characters are genuinely menacing while still being understandable, making for a intense story that is hard to let go.
March 8, 2016
When I read the blurb for this book it pulled me in and what a fantastic book.
Yes, its long. Over 500 pages but it certainly doesn't read like a long hook.
I loved the characters and the fact that the relationship between Nick and Brian really didn't happen until the end of the book.
Yes, there are baddies but I kinda felt sorry for them as they had had really troubled childhoods.
I can't wait for book 2.
Yes, its long. Over 500 pages but it certainly doesn't read like a long hook.
I loved the characters and the fact that the relationship between Nick and Brian really didn't happen until the end of the book.
Yes, there are baddies but I kinda felt sorry for them as they had had really troubled childhoods.
I can't wait for book 2.
February 9, 2016
I have always been a fan of Kaje’s, and I have read most all of her work. Most of this author’s stories always make me feel deeply in one way or another. When we were offered the opportunity to review a newer premise of hers, including paranormal aspects, I jumped at the chance!
Honestly, though, my first impressions of both Nick and Brian were a bit distant at first. This story is like a slow reveal, with us getting to know layers of each character at a pace that felt extremely lackadaisical. At first, with his love for the adrenaline rush of searching out an all out knock-down, drag-out bar fight at least once every three weeks, Nick was not someone I in any way felt drawn to. He almost came off as a bully or immature kid in a grown man’s body. But, eventually I started to like him as we were privy to his thought processes and his reasoning for going after his adrenaline rush.
Brian or ‘Bry’ on the other hand, well, I didn’t feel like we got to know him barely at all during this first installation in this series. We didn’t get to see as many of his POV excerpts as we did Nick, and with his ‘simple’ mannerisms, it was a bit hard to tell how much depth the real Brian had, especially as he seemed to question himself or disassociate so very often from his ‘other’ personality. But, when we get his back story, well, it starts to make sense.
Because of the undercover aspect of ‘NOK-Nick’ as well as us just getting to only see tiny bits of Brians ‘gift’, I don’t feel like I got a chance to feel any real spark or attraction between these two main characters. I’m sure, with Bry being learning disabled (but is he really?), it had to be a sensitive aspect for the author to try to figure out what was okay, and what was not with an officer of the law and a ‘special’ person, especially as it was hard to tell if ‘Bry’ actually knew and was culpable for his part in crimes that are followed thru due to information he provides with his ‘gift’.
Overall this first installment had a ‘grey’ or almost industrial feeling to me, with quite a bit of hopeless reaction to events rather than a positive energy. I didn’t really feel any physical attraction between these two, but more of an attraction of convenience, opportunity, and loneliness. But, with that being said, and me being very familiar with Kaje’s other stories, I know she has a lot more to come, and that we will be pulled into a ride that we won’t forget as more gets revealed to us!
I am hoping for more growth and depth to the personalities of both these main characters in future installments of this series, as the ending left me just barely hanging in there for hope for their future. It really didn’t even feel like an HFN, but more an introduction to a possibility for a future.
I do recommend this series, as I believe in Kaje as an author to have a bigger picture in mind, and her stories always end up being worth digging into, showing us some fascinating aspects of the human condition, even if it’s hard to know where her stories will go when you begin the journey she lays out for us. This is an especially good series for those that don’t want or need that ‘insta-love’ aspect, but that want a story with a more gritty, realistic, and positive journey to the end goal of a ‘real’ love story.
Note: I will say, if you are deterred by the number of pages, don't be, as while I was reading I didn't realize it was this long!
4.5 of 5 stars
Honestly, though, my first impressions of both Nick and Brian were a bit distant at first. This story is like a slow reveal, with us getting to know layers of each character at a pace that felt extremely lackadaisical. At first, with his love for the adrenaline rush of searching out an all out knock-down, drag-out bar fight at least once every three weeks, Nick was not someone I in any way felt drawn to. He almost came off as a bully or immature kid in a grown man’s body. But, eventually I started to like him as we were privy to his thought processes and his reasoning for going after his adrenaline rush.
Brian or ‘Bry’ on the other hand, well, I didn’t feel like we got to know him barely at all during this first installation in this series. We didn’t get to see as many of his POV excerpts as we did Nick, and with his ‘simple’ mannerisms, it was a bit hard to tell how much depth the real Brian had, especially as he seemed to question himself or disassociate so very often from his ‘other’ personality. But, when we get his back story, well, it starts to make sense.
Because of the undercover aspect of ‘NOK-Nick’ as well as us just getting to only see tiny bits of Brians ‘gift’, I don’t feel like I got a chance to feel any real spark or attraction between these two main characters. I’m sure, with Bry being learning disabled (but is he really?), it had to be a sensitive aspect for the author to try to figure out what was okay, and what was not with an officer of the law and a ‘special’ person, especially as it was hard to tell if ‘Bry’ actually knew and was culpable for his part in crimes that are followed thru due to information he provides with his ‘gift’.
Overall this first installment had a ‘grey’ or almost industrial feeling to me, with quite a bit of hopeless reaction to events rather than a positive energy. I didn’t really feel any physical attraction between these two, but more of an attraction of convenience, opportunity, and loneliness. But, with that being said, and me being very familiar with Kaje’s other stories, I know she has a lot more to come, and that we will be pulled into a ride that we won’t forget as more gets revealed to us!
I am hoping for more growth and depth to the personalities of both these main characters in future installments of this series, as the ending left me just barely hanging in there for hope for their future. It really didn’t even feel like an HFN, but more an introduction to a possibility for a future.
I do recommend this series, as I believe in Kaje as an author to have a bigger picture in mind, and her stories always end up being worth digging into, showing us some fascinating aspects of the human condition, even if it’s hard to know where her stories will go when you begin the journey she lays out for us. This is an especially good series for those that don’t want or need that ‘insta-love’ aspect, but that want a story with a more gritty, realistic, and positive journey to the end goal of a ‘real’ love story.
Note: I will say, if you are deterred by the number of pages, don't be, as while I was reading I didn't realize it was this long!
4.5 of 5 stars
March 2, 2017
I could not put this down, which is saying something because it is looooooong. Like 400+ pages long. But my attention, my fascination never once faded. I read till 4am and the second I finished jumped into volume 2 and read that through as well. So safe to say, I loved this. It's complicated to put a finger on why exactly I found this so compelling. While I do love paranormal, contemporary is my least favorite genre. This mostly feels like a contemporary: the paranormal is crucial to the characterization, but it exists in a totally contemporary context, meaning there is no world-building, no need for world-building.
But that connection between "paranormal" and "characterization" is the key to why this book felt so deep, so much more complex than 95% of the M/M romances out there. Everything in this book--the plot, the backstories, the genre elements like "romance' or "procedural" or "paranormal" or "thriller"--all of them are thoroughly grounded in the characterization to the point that they feel inseparable. And frankly this is one of the few books that earns its length by consistently, delicately deepening, building, refining our understanding of these characters--and their understanding of themselves.
A good example here is how Harper uses that favorite genre fixture, "the backstory." Tragic backstories are quite literally a dime a dozen in M/M, to the point that I've coined my own term of disdain,"Tragiboy," because far too often it feels like authors are loading on all this misery and wretchedness just to drum up drama and exploit our emotions. They give us plenty of appalling details but almost never any real exploration of how these experiences shape actual, unique human beings. That is absolutely not what happens here: with Brian especially, but also with his siblings, each painful detail, each anecdote is how we understand: who is Brian, who is Bry, and why the fuck this happened. And the reverse is also true: every time Bry surfaces, every word out of his mouth, points back to that childhood, the relationship between these three siblings, and what each child had to do, and who they had to become, in order to survive.
The same is true of Nick's tough childhood: here that background helps us understand his many contradictions as a man and a police officer, and even more so, why he is so consistently able to "see" through Bry to Brian.
I keep coming back to the word "grounded" to explain how much deeper the characterization feels than in the usual novel--why past and present feel so inextricable. That and "earned." I'll just put a final word of praise for the sense of compassion that runs through this book, which was most evident for me in the portrayal of the relationship between the three siblings: it would have been very easy to turn Lori and Damon into caricatured villains. But again as their history emerges, what we get overwhelmingly is a sense of complexity, moral and psychological, and of the profound and irrevocable connections between siblings.
Should be clear that I was blown away by this book. Very highly recommend.
But that connection between "paranormal" and "characterization" is the key to why this book felt so deep, so much more complex than 95% of the M/M romances out there. Everything in this book--the plot, the backstories, the genre elements like "romance' or "procedural" or "paranormal" or "thriller"--all of them are thoroughly grounded in the characterization to the point that they feel inseparable. And frankly this is one of the few books that earns its length by consistently, delicately deepening, building, refining our understanding of these characters--and their understanding of themselves.
A good example here is how Harper uses that favorite genre fixture, "the backstory." Tragic backstories are quite literally a dime a dozen in M/M, to the point that I've coined my own term of disdain,"Tragiboy," because far too often it feels like authors are loading on all this misery and wretchedness just to drum up drama and exploit our emotions. They give us plenty of appalling details but almost never any real exploration of how these experiences shape actual, unique human beings. That is absolutely not what happens here: with Brian especially, but also with his siblings, each painful detail, each anecdote is how we understand: who is Brian, who is Bry, and why the fuck this happened. And the reverse is also true: every time Bry surfaces, every word out of his mouth, points back to that childhood, the relationship between these three siblings, and what each child had to do, and who they had to become, in order to survive.
The same is true of Nick's tough childhood: here that background helps us understand his many contradictions as a man and a police officer, and even more so, why he is so consistently able to "see" through Bry to Brian.
I keep coming back to the word "grounded" to explain how much deeper the characterization feels than in the usual novel--why past and present feel so inextricable. That and "earned." I'll just put a final word of praise for the sense of compassion that runs through this book, which was most evident for me in the portrayal of the relationship between the three siblings: it would have been very easy to turn Lori and Damon into caricatured villains. But again as their history emerges, what we get overwhelmingly is a sense of complexity, moral and psychological, and of the profound and irrevocable connections between siblings.
Should be clear that I was blown away by this book. Very highly recommend.
September 6, 2016
First read on January 11, 2016.
Re-read on August 22, 2016.
4.25 stars.
So much enjoyable about this book! The suspense, the thrill, that feeling of being on the edge of your seat, all wide-eyed and desperate to know what happens next. The romance part was very sketchy...can't wait for when the real feelz will show up.
There are so many flawed characters here...my heart just broke for the Kerr siblings! They went through so much and they just can't get a break. The same with Nick...he was a complicated one, and I desperately hope he doesn't break Brian's heart. :/
I really hope for a happy ending for ALL of them.
Re-read on August 22, 2016.
4.25 stars.
So much enjoyable about this book! The suspense, the thrill, that feeling of being on the edge of your seat, all wide-eyed and desperate to know what happens next. The romance part was very sketchy...can't wait for when the real feelz will show up.
There are so many flawed characters here...my heart just broke for the Kerr siblings! They went through so much and they just can't get a break. The same with Nick...he was a complicated one, and I desperately hope he doesn't break Brian's heart. :/
I really hope for a happy ending for ALL of them.
January 11, 2016
Intriguing set up to a new series. Only Kaje Harper can make such a long book feel like it's just the start. Lots of stuff happens here, and it's sometimes unexpected. I kept waiting for really bad things to happen to the main characters, and was relieved when most of them didn't eventuate.
What isn't surprising is the careful structuring, clever foreshadowing, and thoughtful character development - all usual suspects with this author.
Look forward to seeing how this plays out.
What isn't surprising is the careful structuring, clever foreshadowing, and thoughtful character development - all usual suspects with this author.
Look forward to seeing how this plays out.
April 25, 2020
I've been hmmm-ing and huh-ing about this book since I finished it yesterday. There are several things I love about it, which should come as no surprise because it's Kaje Harper. She always puts out a solid story. So, why only three stars? Well...
You've got Nick, who is by all appearances a straight-laced beat cop who always crosses his t's and dots his i's. But he's got this adrenaline rush thing going on, or maybe it's more like repressed aggression, that occasionally needs an outlet. He's not a violent guy on a day-to-day basis, but just gets an itch to punch people sometimes, and there's always someone deserving a good punch in the dive bars he frequents on his off hours. It's a win/win, so long as he doesn't get caught.
Then you've got Brian/Bry, who has dissociative identity disorder or what used to be called split personality disorder. Except, it doesn't quite fit. He's very smart, but has had a tough life growing up with a junkie mom. He has severe dyslexia which he's never gotten help for and this limits his options. He's also a psychic, able to find people anywhere they might be by following their trace. Using his ability wreaks all kinds of havoc on his body though, but it's a valuable gift - one that any drug king would just love to have possession of.
Kaje is great at giving her characters layers and depth, and giving them motivations that are true to who they are and not just inserted in because of plot demands or because she wants the story to go a certain direction. Everything that happens here feels real and sincere. Damon, Brian's brother and caretaker, is a genuine scumbag but we can still see how much he loves his brother and their sister Lori, and he'll do anything he can to protect them and provide for them. All three of these siblings would do whatever is necessary for each other, even when those are things they know are immoral.
Brian seems the only one really bothered by their situation, and because of his disabilities and abilities, he's more vulnerable than the other two. He's discovered that playing dumb is easier and makes people underestimate him and leave him alone, so he "created" Bry, a simple, dim-witted personality he can disappear into whenever things start getting dicey. He doesn't always choose to be Bry though, so it's not always clear if he's always Brian and always in charge, or if Bry actually does sometimes take over. Despite that, I never doubted that it was Brian in charge when things started happening with Nick, so at least I wasn't worried about dubious consent issues.
The juxtaposition between Brian and Nick was interesting. You've got a seemingly put-together guy who's alone and a little bored with his life but sometimes needs to let off steam or he'll break; and you've got a broken guy who is torn in two, or maybe he's more like one of those Venn diagrams, who's beginning to realize he doesn't want to be the pet psychic to a drug lord the rest of his life but sees no way to change it. He wants to put himself together again but has no clue how to go about it. They're both right on the cusp of needing something different, something monumental to shake things up, so when they meet it makes sense that they're pulled toward each other.
Here's where things get dicey. Because there's that unprofessional professional thing I was complaining about a little while back. Now, I didn't hate it here like I would anywhere else, and that's largely because Kaje is so good at what she does. She makes it make sense that Nick would do what he does. It's clear that Brian is in a tough spot and that he's being used. Nick isn't deluded about Brian's involvement in the crimes his boss commits. He's charged to get closer to Brian, even though he realizes he should be finding ways to stay as far away from Brian as he can. And Brian pursues him, which doesn't make this any easier of a moral dilemma. The key thing that Kaje does here is make sure it's very clear to the reader that Nick is conflicted. He knows he's botching up the job because of his growing feelings for Brian, but since he's undercover he can't just hand the assignment off to someone else. At each point where the unprofessionalism rears its ugly head, it's absolutely plausible and understandable why he does what he does. Still doesn't mean I liked it. I especially had problems with him
So there you have it. An otherwise 4 or 5 star read, knocked down because the unprofessional professional, even though it's a very well-written unprofessional professional. And I was actually ready to give this four stars until that last chapter. *sigh*
I hear the next book is better, so I'll be diving into that one tonight.
You've got Nick, who is by all appearances a straight-laced beat cop who always crosses his t's and dots his i's. But he's got this adrenaline rush thing going on, or maybe it's more like repressed aggression, that occasionally needs an outlet. He's not a violent guy on a day-to-day basis, but just gets an itch to punch people sometimes, and there's always someone deserving a good punch in the dive bars he frequents on his off hours. It's a win/win, so long as he doesn't get caught.
Then you've got Brian/Bry, who has dissociative identity disorder or what used to be called split personality disorder. Except, it doesn't quite fit. He's very smart, but has had a tough life growing up with a junkie mom. He has severe dyslexia which he's never gotten help for and this limits his options. He's also a psychic, able to find people anywhere they might be by following their trace. Using his ability wreaks all kinds of havoc on his body though, but it's a valuable gift - one that any drug king would just love to have possession of.
Kaje is great at giving her characters layers and depth, and giving them motivations that are true to who they are and not just inserted in because of plot demands or because she wants the story to go a certain direction. Everything that happens here feels real and sincere. Damon, Brian's brother and caretaker, is a genuine scumbag but we can still see how much he loves his brother and their sister Lori, and he'll do anything he can to protect them and provide for them. All three of these siblings would do whatever is necessary for each other, even when those are things they know are immoral.
Brian seems the only one really bothered by their situation, and because of his disabilities and abilities, he's more vulnerable than the other two. He's discovered that playing dumb is easier and makes people underestimate him and leave him alone, so he "created" Bry, a simple, dim-witted personality he can disappear into whenever things start getting dicey. He doesn't always choose to be Bry though, so it's not always clear if he's always Brian and always in charge, or if Bry actually does sometimes take over. Despite that, I never doubted that it was Brian in charge when things started happening with Nick, so at least I wasn't worried about dubious consent issues.
The juxtaposition between Brian and Nick was interesting. You've got a seemingly put-together guy who's alone and a little bored with his life but sometimes needs to let off steam or he'll break; and you've got a broken guy who is torn in two, or maybe he's more like one of those Venn diagrams, who's beginning to realize he doesn't want to be the pet psychic to a drug lord the rest of his life but sees no way to change it. He wants to put himself together again but has no clue how to go about it. They're both right on the cusp of needing something different, something monumental to shake things up, so when they meet it makes sense that they're pulled toward each other.
Here's where things get dicey. Because there's that unprofessional professional thing I was complaining about a little while back. Now, I didn't hate it here like I would anywhere else, and that's largely because Kaje is so good at what she does. She makes it make sense that Nick would do what he does. It's clear that Brian is in a tough spot and that he's being used. Nick isn't deluded about Brian's involvement in the crimes his boss commits. He's charged to get closer to Brian, even though he realizes he should be finding ways to stay as far away from Brian as he can. And Brian pursues him, which doesn't make this any easier of a moral dilemma. The key thing that Kaje does here is make sure it's very clear to the reader that Nick is conflicted. He knows he's botching up the job because of his growing feelings for Brian, but since he's undercover he can't just hand the assignment off to someone else. At each point where the unprofessionalism rears its ugly head, it's absolutely plausible and understandable why he does what he does. Still doesn't mean I liked it. I especially had problems with him
So there you have it. An otherwise 4 or 5 star read, knocked down because the unprofessional professional, even though it's a very well-written unprofessional professional. And I was actually ready to give this four stars until that last chapter. *sigh*
I hear the next book is better, so I'll be diving into that one tonight.
July 31, 2016
Where do I start?
I love kaje Harper's stories. She knows how to write. It is a pleasure to read a book and not have the stream of the story interrupted by numerous grammar and bad editing problems.
Brian. Not your usual MC and I appreciated that fact. His life had been bleak from the beginning of his life. He had challenges including dyslexia that had never been addressed by the school system. Siblings that tried but never had a clue to living a productive life. He had a talent for finding people. He was a talented actor when he decided to be Bry not Brian. He touched my soul.
Nick. He had a childhood that started out better than Brian's but he lost both parents while he was still young. A series of foster homes and loads of anger carried him into adulthood. He became a good police officer but he still had anger. He didn't take that anger out on those he arrested. Instead on his off time he went to tough bars and got in fights.
Neither man had a friend. Neither man could be open to his true self. Both men were gay.
Nick is sent undercover to get evidence against a leading drug import and manufacturer. The same man that was the husband of Brian's sister and the boss of Brian's brother. The same man that used Brian's talent for bad.
This is not a sexy romp. This is the story of flawed characters doing their best to stay alive and sane. Their ways of doing just that are not pretty. I liked them together. They made each other better but lies could destroy everything good between them. There is no HEA, just a hope.
I will read the next in series.
I love kaje Harper's stories. She knows how to write. It is a pleasure to read a book and not have the stream of the story interrupted by numerous grammar and bad editing problems.
Brian. Not your usual MC and I appreciated that fact. His life had been bleak from the beginning of his life. He had challenges including dyslexia that had never been addressed by the school system. Siblings that tried but never had a clue to living a productive life. He had a talent for finding people. He was a talented actor when he decided to be Bry not Brian. He touched my soul.
Nick. He had a childhood that started out better than Brian's but he lost both parents while he was still young. A series of foster homes and loads of anger carried him into adulthood. He became a good police officer but he still had anger. He didn't take that anger out on those he arrested. Instead on his off time he went to tough bars and got in fights.
Neither man had a friend. Neither man could be open to his true self. Both men were gay.
Nick is sent undercover to get evidence against a leading drug import and manufacturer. The same man that was the husband of Brian's sister and the boss of Brian's brother. The same man that used Brian's talent for bad.
This is not a sexy romp. This is the story of flawed characters doing their best to stay alive and sane. Their ways of doing just that are not pretty. I liked them together. They made each other better but lies could destroy everything good between them. There is no HEA, just a hope.
I will read the next in series.
November 3, 2016
2016 Rainbow Awards: Tracefinder: Contact (Tracefinder #1) by Kaje Harper
1) Simply put, I loved this. The characters practically jump off the page, and I enjoyed the way the author carefully pulled me into this world.
2) This was a long one. Too long in a way because the story kept going without another important climax near the end. I kept expecting the runaway siblings to return because they were so very important to the overall story. It was well written and it was nice to see a mix of paranormal elements with a mentally challenged character. The relationship part, not so much, but it was okay.
3) I thought this story was very well written and will definitely be reading more in this series. It’s not a book I would have bought for myself and was pleasantly surprised when I started reading.
4) One of the things I loved about this story were the characters, especially Brian who isn't a typical 'hero'. He's very complex, and plays a dangerous game in the way he keeps himself safe. I really liked the way his ability had consequences, and that although he knew his brother and sister had made bad decisions he was still loyal to them. The plot too is very layered, and although the action part of it wasn't the end of the story, the rest of it needed to be there. I found it an absorbing read, which kept me hooked from beginning to end. Looking forward to book 2 in the series.
1) Simply put, I loved this. The characters practically jump off the page, and I enjoyed the way the author carefully pulled me into this world.
2) This was a long one. Too long in a way because the story kept going without another important climax near the end. I kept expecting the runaway siblings to return because they were so very important to the overall story. It was well written and it was nice to see a mix of paranormal elements with a mentally challenged character. The relationship part, not so much, but it was okay.
3) I thought this story was very well written and will definitely be reading more in this series. It’s not a book I would have bought for myself and was pleasantly surprised when I started reading.
4) One of the things I loved about this story were the characters, especially Brian who isn't a typical 'hero'. He's very complex, and plays a dangerous game in the way he keeps himself safe. I really liked the way his ability had consequences, and that although he knew his brother and sister had made bad decisions he was still loyal to them. The plot too is very layered, and although the action part of it wasn't the end of the story, the rest of it needed to be there. I found it an absorbing read, which kept me hooked from beginning to end. Looking forward to book 2 in the series.
January 11, 2016
A 2/3 read. I'm conflicted on this one because of my responses to the MCs.
I couldn't get past the issue of conflict of interest re: Nick, even with his internal struggle about his feelings and actions toward Brian/Bry and Brian/Bry's own willingness - insistence even - to begin a relationship. For me, it felt like Nick was taking advantage of Brian/Bry.
And then there is the character of Brian/Bry... Buggered if I can explain what my response is to him. Maybe it's because I too use different personas - complete with different names - for different situations due to my mental health issues. In Brian/Bry's case, though, I struggled between believing his was using his personas as a coping mechanism and him faking the entire thing. As I said, buggered if I know.
I couldn't get past the issue of conflict of interest re: Nick, even with his internal struggle about his feelings and actions toward Brian/Bry and Brian/Bry's own willingness - insistence even - to begin a relationship. For me, it felt like Nick was taking advantage of Brian/Bry.
And then there is the character of Brian/Bry... Buggered if I can explain what my response is to him. Maybe it's because I too use different personas - complete with different names - for different situations due to my mental health issues. In Brian/Bry's case, though, I struggled between believing his was using his personas as a coping mechanism and him faking the entire thing. As I said, buggered if I know.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 26, 2016
Review soon at bmbr.
I need the next book, now!
I need the next book, now!
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