The story concept is okay but I don't really care much for it's execution. I felt like the characters were to empty. They just kept going forward to continue the story's beginning. No real substance and the things that were there were just stereotypes of responsibility.
The whole thing just felt like a first draft then a final product. Considering it being a script maybe it is? Anyway, this could turn into a good idea here. With some more work it could possibly be better.