Damage Done: A Mountie's Memoir - From Hurt to Hopeful, From Horses to Healing

by Deanna Lennox, Lawrence Scanlan

An unflinching portrayal of how one idealistic young RCMP officer battled her way through job-induced trauma, anger and disillusionment by turning to horses – and how her path to healing helped her reach out to other first responders

The first responders and other front line service providers who serve our country and our communities with courage and dedication have been suffering in silence. Studies and statistics show that they experience catastrophic rates of divorce, alcoholism and depression, but they often are unable or unwilling to tell their stories or find the resources they need to help themselves. In 2014, the silence could be held no longer when over the course of three months, 15 first responders across the country committed suicide.

Former RCMP officer Deanna Lennox courageously shares her own story of job-induced trauma, anger and disillusionment and reveals the events that eventually pushed her mind, body and spirit to the breaking point. But this is a story not only of high-speed car chases, drug busts and the author's time posing undercover, but more importantly, what came after – how an angry and bitter cop’s relationship with a horse helped her heal the psychological wounds she incurred in the line of duty.

Damage Done chronicles Lennox's momentous change and the steps she took to reach out to other first responders by creating the annual War Horse Symposium, a forum to discuss occupational stress injuries, and the non-profit charitable organization the War Horse Awareness Foundation. With the symposium and with this book, Lennox aims to inspire rather than to blame and to add her voice to an emerging conversation about how to protect those who put themselves on the front line for us.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Psychology

304 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 9, 2014

Reviews

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. This one surprised me. I had this on my TBR for the longest time and just finally finished it. Was it worth it? Yes it was.

Now there were times where Deanna repeats herself perhaps a little to much but I feel there was meaning behind it. It needed repeating to help really convey the message she was delivering. The more you read it, the more it repeated, the more likely you'll remember it. There were some writing grammar that I feel was in error and could have been reworded but it didn't distract from the book.

I feel I was able to connect with this book alot. I was able to relate in some ways even if they were small. When I was younger, just out of school, I was a first aider at an accident. Now I was the first person to arrive at the accident after witnessing it happen. A pedestrian was struck by a moving vehicle. I had to help the pedestrian, access the injuries and make sure she was moved off the road safely. I still hear the impact of that accident to this day as if it were fresh in my mind.
I worked as a Security Guard for local law enforcement in Edmonton and there were times where you see the ugly side of humanity. I have become friendly with those that I worked for, worked alongside with, and had gotten to know quite well. There were times where they had a rough night and would come to me just to relieve that stress. No they wouldn't share what happened and I didn't push because just what they said or how they greeted, I knew they had a bad call and didn't want to relive it.

Reading this book, I understand why I gravitate to horses when doing photography. Why I become so relaxed and peaceful in their presence. Deanna does a very well written job on describing the effects that jobs have on first responders. She does an amazing job talking about horses, working with horses, and meditation and how they can heal people especially those who are first responders. Deanna describes symptoms of PTSD and other mental issues that anyone can experience over time either in a job or even in day to day. If you witness a bad accident, if you watch someone die, anything where there is trauma, Deanna does a great job in describing how that can affect someones mental health.

Damage Done is not a negative book on the RCMP. In fact, I feel it to be an evenly balanced book as I was able to really tell the passion Deanna has for the RCMP. Though she is no longer a member of the force, there is still a huge love, respect, and passion for the job she once done. Damage Done is about the experiences she faced and how they had impacted her but also how she healed from them and refound who she is. This is a very well written memior in the end and I am glad I read it. It was worth the wait. Highly recommend this book for anyone to read. You may learn a thing or two from it.

[As You Wish · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt so many things while reading this book. After attending a PTSD conference, unfortunately not many things about the internal supports (none) for RCMP officers shocked me. I loved hearing her story of drawing closer to healing through horses and various psychotherapy and other techniques. I love that instead of just being wounded and leaving, that she's started a foundation and symposium to reach her fellow members where they are at. Good on ya.

[Sarah Mooney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book provided insight into what first responders deal with day in and day out. It was an interesting read for me because I am not a first responder; however, I have family members who are. It left me even more appreciative of what they do day in and day out for society and a bit worried about how they deal with being on the front lines.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little scattered but a great overall story about overcoming trauma through traditional and non-traditional therapeutic methods

[Vontel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most interesting book, with author using her own story and journey within the RCMP as a way to raise the issue of the traumas and work-related stress and injuries incurred by a great many first responders, whether police, paramedics, nurses, or in other professions. Deanna Lennox ultimately left the "Mounties" to start programs to share her knowledge, along with that of a number of professionals, of how to acknowledge and start to heal, through her War Horse Symposiums and her War Horse Awareness Foundation, as well as a Canadian/American PEER Retreat near Lake Placid.

I would highly recommend this book to people who want to understand the world in which first responders work, including those in policy work and politics, and particularly those in positions to make changes in the systems within which they work, to mitigate and reduce the effects of working in these positions, which ultimately has an impact on all of us as the public.

Most first responders come to the work out of a desire to help others and the cause of justice and fairness. Her book helps show the toll it can take on them(including higher rates of suicide and substance misuse), their families and co-workers-and also how it can affect how they interact with the public they originally they wanted to protect. I also recommend this book to those who may have little sympathy for those we have tasked as a society to "serve and protect" us.

[Jen Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many parts of this account by this retired RCMP officer certainly rang true and hit home. It was refreshing to read an account of first responder PTSD from a female first responder perspective, as well. The timeline jumped around a bit clumsily at time (editing issue, likely, versus the writer's), and the ending could have been more concise. If one is interested to read about PTSD and learn a little about the concepts of equine therapy as well, then this is an excellent place to do both.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Content was interesting, structure was sloppy.