RE Forever - LT brings us an African through the jungle road trip romance and for some reason this book always reminds me of the movie The African Queen - if it had been a bit more risque and Kathryn Hepburn had been Lauren Bacall's age at the time- Bogart is Bogart and needs no substitution - Colonel Sam is a great HP replica.
The story starts with our 24 yr old school teacher h stuck in Mombasa, Kenya trying to get herself, six students and a malaria stricken headmistress back to (at the time) Salisbury, Rhodesia which is approximately 1100 miles away. (For the record Salisbury became Harare, Zimbabwe on April 18 1982 - two years after Rhodesia became Zimbabwe under it's own rule after a very long and sometimes brutal conflict with Great Britain.)
The h is making her way through a waterfront dive bar, looking for a specific former SAS Colonel that she has been reliably informed can help her get her and her charges out of the country and back to their school on the QT. The h can't take two of her students on an official flight as they are the daughters of an African Prince who is currently staging a military coup in an effort to regain the rule of his former country. If the Prince's enemies were to find out about the girls, they would try to kidnap or harm them and the h can't let that happen.
She finds her Colonel and though somewhat surly, he agrees to help her find a covert flight out. Later on that evening, she meets up with him again, he has arranged passage out on a cargo plane, the pilot will fly her group and a special cargo out at dawn. The Colonel walks the h back to her room and a miscommunication occurs when she thinks he wants to be paid a fee for his help and he tries to seduce her. She fights him off, kicks him out and breathes a sigh of relief that her business with him is over.
She gets everybody to the plane the next morning, but her elation at leaving is somewhat dampened when it turns out the cargo is gun and ammo and the other passenger is the womanizing Colonel. She resigns herself to his presence and the flight leaves. Except that the plane has been sabotaged and is forced to make an emergency landing. She is injured during the crash landing and the Colonel appears very worried, she cut her head and has a minor concussion - this doesn't stop him from stealing a few kisses though and some interesting banter follows.
The plane is partially repaired but one of the engines is shot and the plane can't carry the weight of the cargo and two adult passengers. The h decides to stay with the Colonel, who hides the cargo in the jungle, and the girls and headmistress will get back to the safety of the school. The pilot warns the h of the Colonel's seducing ways and as a further precaution to protect the h, implies to the Col. that the h is a nun. Our Col. H isn't too happy about this development and more interesting repartee is exchanged between the couple.
The jungle trek begins and the h meets up with giant bugs and a 20ft snake. Then there is the native encounter, where the h is forced to pretend to be the Col. H's lady, she eats dog meat, the Col. H goes on a lion hunt and then she has to sleep with him in a zipped together sleeping bag - to give the natives the correct impression.
After they leave the village, the h and H run across a lion cub and the H is forced to shoot it's mum when the lioness attacks the h. The h feels horrible for playing with the cub and encouraging the attack and the h forces the H to rescue the cub. Which he grumbles about, but he does it.
The trek continues (they have about 150 miles of jungle to get through to reach a place where the h can fly out), until they reach a rough mining town in the middle of nowhere and the H gives the cub to man who will place him in a nature preserve so he can be cared for. They make arrangements for a jeep to drive the rest of the way to civilization and they head for the local watering hole.
The watering hole contains a group of mercenaries who recognize the H and the prerequisite bar fight begins, which the h wins when she knocks half the brawlers out with a beer mug while the H is unconscious from a sucker punch. The H and h make it to the jeep and take off with the h driving and the H takes out his glasses to use his long distance rifle against the shooting mercenaries as they speed away. Then the h hits a tree after the H gets shot.
She drags him and their gear to safety and more witty banter ensues as the H realizes she cleaned his wound with whiskey and did not use his well stocked first aid kit. (She did not know about the first aid kit and was following old movie protocol.) There is more back and forth bantering and the h and H proceed to drink the whiskey - with the H being amazed at the h's capacity for alcohol.
A passionate make-out session ensues with the h getting into a real panic when the H won't stop when she calls a halt and threatens to rape her. There is an actual knock down drag out fight that only ends when the h pulls a gun on the H and threatens to shoot him - he still isn't backing down and so she threatens to shoot herself - and that scares him half to death. (LT periodically intersperses the action with the H's POV and it really enhances the book. )
The h and H calm down and later the h freaks out a bit when she finds out the H gave her an actual loaded gun - she thought the gun was just for show. The h is gradually falling more in love with the H, even though he is 44 and hates most women cause he thinks they are all liars. The H is feeling a lot for her too, he keeps thinking she is the most unusual woman he has ever met and he has a lot of guilt for lusting after a nun.
Since they no longer have a jeep, they have to keep walking. They stop for a rest and the h gets bitten by a venomous snake. The H wears himself out trying to care for her, but she makes it through and in the aftermath they wind up making passionate love. The H really cares for the h by now and it is the h's turn to be racked by guilt for letting him think she is a nun.
The H's story is that his parents were killed by revolutionaries in Kenya when he was a child. He went to England to live with an elderly aunt until he joined the military and traveled the world and then retired in Africa. It is implied that he is a mercenary, but it becomes obvious he has had a very lonely, strife ridden life.
The h feels a lot of compassion for him as well and this mixes with her attraction until she is completely in love with him. However she doesn't see much future with him, especially as she has lied to him and he hates ladies who lie.
After the h recovers enough to move on, they run into the revolutionary African Prince who is the father of her students and who is also the man the H was bringing the guns for. He knows the h isn't a nun, but he doesn't let on he knows and the H is happy to give the impression to the rest of the camp that he and the h are a pair. He zips their sleeping bags together again and more repartee is engaged in.
There is a late night attack on the camp and the H goes out to help and when he comes back the h has a cocked gun pointed at his head - the H makes the comment that he has created the first terrorist nun and he scoops the h up so they can make a hasty exit. They are off again and the H manages to get the h to a neutral airport. He really loves her and the h is sad she can't stay with him, but he has been a bit standoffish and so she loses her courage to tell him the truth.
As she is leaving to board the plane, he shouts after her that she is to use his given name and she shouts back that she isn't a nun, then she gets on the plane as it takes off. Three weeks of moping later, the H shows up at her school with a big box of apples -which is her favorite food. The H sweeps her off her feet into the back of an old truck and they wind up having another passionate encounter.
She promises pecan pie (his favorite food,) and proposes marriage. He says yes and they agree on four kids. Then he tells her he is really a businessman and not a mercenary, he just wanted to help the Prince get his country back and did him a favor by delivering the guns. The h is resigned to a (not really) boring businessman's life and the HEA is now an HPLandia forever.
This is a really funny book, the exchanges between the H and h are hilarious and the h is really very competent for being thrown into a highly tense situation. The build up between the H and h is intense and though some people think the h took way to long to tell the H the truth, I think it heightened the tension and it gave the H a chance to really get to know her as a person and not as another woman to use and discard.
The H thinking she was untouchable gave a nice fillip to a very fast moving story and this really is one of my all time favorite HP's - right after LG's Spanish Groom which is still thirteen years away at this time. I recommend this one a lot, it has all of the elements of a really great romance. Despite the age difference, the H and h are truly well matched together and the back and forth between the two never degenerates into a bitter bickerfest. The ending where the H comes for the h is truly epic and this one is a must read everyone who like HPlandia.