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Menopause Confidential: A Doctor Reveals the Secrets to Thriving Through Midlife
An authoritative guide to understanding and navigating the hormonal changes and health issues women experience in midlife and beyond, from one of the leading medical experts in the field.
The physical changes that occur after women turn forty are unavoidable—and can be unnerving. Menopause affects every aspect of life—from sex and sleep to mood and mental clarity to weight and body temperature. While there are a number of resources available, many are confusing and contradictory. Now, Manhattan gynecologist Dr. Tara Allmen, an experienced, nationally board-certified menopause practitioner and the recipient of the 2015 Doctor’s Choice National Award for Obstetrics & Gynecology, shares her knowledge to help women be their happiest and healthiest, and turn this challenging time into an exciting one.
Written in her effervescent yet assured voice, Menopause Confidential provides simple strategies and cutting-edge information on:
hormonal changes and the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause;
the health risks associated with midlife—from cutting through the conflicting opinions and advice about health screenings (Do I really need a colonoscopy? How often should I get a mammogram?) to common medical conditions, such as osteoporosis;
various remedies, both allopathic and natural, to combat symptoms and empower women to make the best choices for their individual needs;
practical tips and resources for mitigating the effects of menopause.
Fifty-one-year-old Dr. Allmen knows firsthand what women are going through, and shares stories of her own personal travails and solutions. Women can’t turn back the clock, but they can take control of their health and flourish in midlife. Menopause Confidential encourages them to be informed, be proactive, and be their greatest selves.
The physical changes that occur after women turn forty are unavoidable—and can be unnerving. Menopause affects every aspect of life—from sex and sleep to mood and mental clarity to weight and body temperature. While there are a number of resources available, many are confusing and contradictory. Now, Manhattan gynecologist Dr. Tara Allmen, an experienced, nationally board-certified menopause practitioner and the recipient of the 2015 Doctor’s Choice National Award for Obstetrics & Gynecology, shares her knowledge to help women be their happiest and healthiest, and turn this challenging time into an exciting one.
Written in her effervescent yet assured voice, Menopause Confidential provides simple strategies and cutting-edge information on:
hormonal changes and the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause;
the health risks associated with midlife—from cutting through the conflicting opinions and advice about health screenings (Do I really need a colonoscopy? How often should I get a mammogram?) to common medical conditions, such as osteoporosis;
various remedies, both allopathic and natural, to combat symptoms and empower women to make the best choices for their individual needs;
practical tips and resources for mitigating the effects of menopause.
Fifty-one-year-old Dr. Allmen knows firsthand what women are going through, and shares stories of her own personal travails and solutions. Women can’t turn back the clock, but they can take control of their health and flourish in midlife. Menopause Confidential encourages them to be informed, be proactive, and be their greatest selves.
256 pages, Hardcover
Published September 20, 2016
131 people are currently reading
355 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 88 reviews
July 13, 2018
Ahh, The Menopause. Brace yourself for a smidge of TMI and excuse me if I get a bit rantish - which apparently is not a real word but feels appropriate.
Always troubled by "female problems" I was put on Prempro in my 30s, a few years later my doctor queried what the heck for, were you having actual symptoms of menopause?! Well, no, unless you considered the possibility that I had been in peri-menopause since I was about 12. He immediately pulled me off of them. About the time I turned 40 I had an endometrial ablation, best $100 I ever spent BTW. But with the cessation of my cycle and so many other things were going on in my life it was hard to know when I might actually be hitting menopause - how much was hormones and how much was stress and other health issues (I am a raving insomniac plagued with restless leg syndrome and periodic limb movement, so many reasons to not sleep well). I tried biodentical hormone therapy after a good visit with a good doctor and it seemed to help but it was also expensive and not covered by insurance so without a solid definitive feeling that it really made a difference I eventually stopped that as well about a year or so ago.
So here I am in the second half of my 50s with 60 closing in fast and I still don't feel terribly confident I know what is going on, what I should do about it and - the key question - will it ever get any better? So much of the information out there seems ... dense or unscientific , too woo woo and word of mouth that it just overwhelms me. A book like this one needed to be written, short, easily approachable, even if the chirpy humor is sometimes a little too much for me. The thing was I came out of it feeling slightly annoyed, still in doubt as to what the best course of treatment is and the sad knowledge that menopause is permanent, it will be with me forever, which left me feeling sad and a little hopeless. I mean I knew that but really, I had hopes it would level out or something. Do you remember that scene in My Girl where she thinks she is dying and then once the facts of life are explained she is furious that this is her life as a woman? Yeah. That was kind of how I felt about the statement that menopause doesn't go away. Will these really annoying symptoms and mood swings and enhanced lack of sleep etc really be with me til the end of my days? Dear Lord, I hope not but I guess i can hope that symptoms may diminish and that some life style changes, some supplements and improved health practices may help but I'm disappointed, deeply disappointed and yet not surprised. With the periods from hell spanning my life for 30 years and complicated pregnancies I'm not sure i what I based my hope for a cake walk going forward on. I just thought it would kind of end and though I'd be more tired and wrinkly with a spare tired around my middle at least I'd reach a plateau or something...
Well, stepping away from my tale of woe and blighted expectations let's get back to the book.
I appreciate the author's attempt at succinctness, brevity and lightheartedness with this confusing and emotionally packed subject. Perhaps my favorite chapters were "My husband thinks I'm crazy" and "Every man needs a gynecologist." She pounds the HRT treatment loud and hard and I'm still not sure I want to go back to that or can afford to but nothing much else is offered beyond life style changes.
Glad I read it, not planning my life around it. Will keep seeking.
Always troubled by "female problems" I was put on Prempro in my 30s, a few years later my doctor queried what the heck for, were you having actual symptoms of menopause?! Well, no, unless you considered the possibility that I had been in peri-menopause since I was about 12. He immediately pulled me off of them. About the time I turned 40 I had an endometrial ablation, best $100 I ever spent BTW. But with the cessation of my cycle and so many other things were going on in my life it was hard to know when I might actually be hitting menopause - how much was hormones and how much was stress and other health issues (I am a raving insomniac plagued with restless leg syndrome and periodic limb movement, so many reasons to not sleep well). I tried biodentical hormone therapy after a good visit with a good doctor and it seemed to help but it was also expensive and not covered by insurance so without a solid definitive feeling that it really made a difference I eventually stopped that as well about a year or so ago.
So here I am in the second half of my 50s with 60 closing in fast and I still don't feel terribly confident I know what is going on, what I should do about it and - the key question - will it ever get any better? So much of the information out there seems ... dense or unscientific , too woo woo and word of mouth that it just overwhelms me. A book like this one needed to be written, short, easily approachable, even if the chirpy humor is sometimes a little too much for me. The thing was I came out of it feeling slightly annoyed, still in doubt as to what the best course of treatment is and the sad knowledge that menopause is permanent, it will be with me forever, which left me feeling sad and a little hopeless. I mean I knew that but really, I had hopes it would level out or something. Do you remember that scene in My Girl where she thinks she is dying and then once the facts of life are explained she is furious that this is her life as a woman? Yeah. That was kind of how I felt about the statement that menopause doesn't go away. Will these really annoying symptoms and mood swings and enhanced lack of sleep etc really be with me til the end of my days? Dear Lord, I hope not but I guess i can hope that symptoms may diminish and that some life style changes, some supplements and improved health practices may help but I'm disappointed, deeply disappointed and yet not surprised. With the periods from hell spanning my life for 30 years and complicated pregnancies I'm not sure i what I based my hope for a cake walk going forward on. I just thought it would kind of end and though I'd be more tired and wrinkly with a spare tired around my middle at least I'd reach a plateau or something...
Well, stepping away from my tale of woe and blighted expectations let's get back to the book.
I appreciate the author's attempt at succinctness, brevity and lightheartedness with this confusing and emotionally packed subject. Perhaps my favorite chapters were "My husband thinks I'm crazy" and "Every man needs a gynecologist." She pounds the HRT treatment loud and hard and I'm still not sure I want to go back to that or can afford to but nothing much else is offered beyond life style changes.
Glad I read it, not planning my life around it. Will keep seeking.
September 7, 2020
I wasn't impressed with this book. She states things that experts do not necessarily agree with...such as bone density isn't helped by weight training. The experts I consulted disagree. Strongly. She also enthusiastically pushes hormone treatment. In the section where she reviews 5 large studies, she always has caveats when the study recommends avoiding hormone treatment. Well, my Mom and her sister had breast cancer. I'm not going to rush in and start hormone treatment unless I find other experts agreeing with this doctor. And while she emphasizes you need to do a variety of things to help yourself have a good menopause, she really pushes the hormone treatment. She doesn't like natural medicine such as black cohosh, claiming it has less effect than most placebos. While I wish it worked better, I have definitely noticed a difference when using it. And when I ran out, I started getting more hot flashes. And she absolutely is vitriolic when it comes to smoking. I don't smoke, never have, but she could dial it down a bit on the subject.
I strongly suggest before you run out and demand hormone treatment, that you check with your doctor or at least read more books on the subject. I'm really dubious about several things in this book.
I strongly suggest before you run out and demand hormone treatment, that you check with your doctor or at least read more books on the subject. I'm really dubious about several things in this book.
January 25, 2021
Great book! I highly recommend this read. I’m going to be 50 this year and feel there is a lot of confusion and taboo around menopause. Many of my mom friends are much younger than me. Some of my other friends don’t seem like they have a plan or even want to talk about menopause. I operate on information in order for me to make decisions. I simply want to know what’s coming and how to prepare. This book, first of all made me feel very validated and also encouraged. I am an audiobook listener and even purchased the actual book as I want to refer to all of the great advice later and over and over. Thank you Dr. Allmen!
December 8, 2018
First, the positive stuff: Highly recommend this book, in paper, NOT audio form, for any woman going through perimenopause or menopause. I loved that Dr. Allmen, an Ob/Gyn has chosen to specialize in Menopause and that she wrote a book. The book is accessible, interesting, and covers everything about Hormone Replacement Therapy (which the author promotes highly) in a reasonable and educational way. Dr. Allmen is clearly passionate about the subject and I am betting this is the most up-to-date summary out there. As an Internal Medicine Physician who is Perimenopausal, there were a number of things I knew already and an equal number I didn't. We simply don't have enough training in Women's Health in Medical School. This is NOT a fun subject and Dr. Allmen did her best to be upbeat, cheerful, and humorous. She is highly intelligent and I believe she is dedicated and caring physician. Dr. Allmen and I were born within 2 weeks of each other (same month, same year), although besides that, we have little in common.
Now, the negative stuff: I do NOT recommend the audio version--at least not at normal speed. Dr. Allmen has a very lovely, warm voice, but reads very slowly and carefully and patronizingly as though she were speaking to a slightly deaf, slightly cognitively impaired woman of lower status than herself. I wish I could have sped this up because that would have improved it mightily. (Sadly, I bought the Mp3 version and there was no way to change the speed to 1.5X that I could figure out).
Dr. Allmen comes across as extremely vain, smug and self-satisfied. Her jokesy/folksy chapter titles (which she repeated over and over and over though the book, referencing earlier and later chapters) were grating and irritating. This is the exact same sort of humour one sees on bad Birthday Cards making fun of the recipient's age.
Here is an example of Dr. Allmen's sense of humour: "Once you have 10 or fewer years left to live, you do NOT need to have any more colonoscopies or PAP tests or Mammograms. You have graduated, so throw yourself a Graduation Party!"
Example of dreadful Chapter Title: "Patches, Potions and Pills, OH MY! "--first time hearing it, no problem--cute, Ha Ha. The second time--slightly annoying. Fourth time--grating. The fifteenth time--wishing the pain would stop.
So DO buy the paper copy of Menopause Confidential and have a highlighter in one hand to highlight all the useful information.
I would also have a black felt marker in the other hand to cross out the irritating jokes--but that's just me.
I really have only ONE serious criticism: Please TEAR OUT and throw in the garbage the Chapter entitled, "What's The Skinny on Weight Gain?" because that chapter is the only one that is larded with FALSE and BAD information. Basically, Dr. Allmen's advice is to starve yourself and cut calories, ignoring all the data showing that 95% of women who follow this bad advice tend to gain all the weight back and more. Yo-yo dieting is much worse for your health than being overweight or obese.
Dr. Allman writes like a person who was once 10 pounds overweight, freaked out about it, cut out sugar in her coffee and desserts and lost the 10 pounds, and now considers herself an expert on a very complicated subject. It was clear that NO research whatsoever was done to write this chapter.
Do NOT read the "What's the Skinny on Weight Gain?" chapter--instead, read the book Body Respect by Linda Bacon and Lucy Abramor.
Now, the negative stuff: I do NOT recommend the audio version--at least not at normal speed. Dr. Allmen has a very lovely, warm voice, but reads very slowly and carefully and patronizingly as though she were speaking to a slightly deaf, slightly cognitively impaired woman of lower status than herself. I wish I could have sped this up because that would have improved it mightily. (Sadly, I bought the Mp3 version and there was no way to change the speed to 1.5X that I could figure out).
Dr. Allmen comes across as extremely vain, smug and self-satisfied. Her jokesy/folksy chapter titles (which she repeated over and over and over though the book, referencing earlier and later chapters) were grating and irritating. This is the exact same sort of humour one sees on bad Birthday Cards making fun of the recipient's age.
Here is an example of Dr. Allmen's sense of humour: "Once you have 10 or fewer years left to live, you do NOT need to have any more colonoscopies or PAP tests or Mammograms. You have graduated, so throw yourself a Graduation Party!"
Example of dreadful Chapter Title: "Patches, Potions and Pills, OH MY! "--first time hearing it, no problem--cute, Ha Ha. The second time--slightly annoying. Fourth time--grating. The fifteenth time--wishing the pain would stop.
So DO buy the paper copy of Menopause Confidential and have a highlighter in one hand to highlight all the useful information.
I would also have a black felt marker in the other hand to cross out the irritating jokes--but that's just me.
I really have only ONE serious criticism: Please TEAR OUT and throw in the garbage the Chapter entitled, "What's The Skinny on Weight Gain?" because that chapter is the only one that is larded with FALSE and BAD information. Basically, Dr. Allmen's advice is to starve yourself and cut calories, ignoring all the data showing that 95% of women who follow this bad advice tend to gain all the weight back and more. Yo-yo dieting is much worse for your health than being overweight or obese.
Dr. Allman writes like a person who was once 10 pounds overweight, freaked out about it, cut out sugar in her coffee and desserts and lost the 10 pounds, and now considers herself an expert on a very complicated subject. It was clear that NO research whatsoever was done to write this chapter.
Do NOT read the "What's the Skinny on Weight Gain?" chapter--instead, read the book Body Respect by Linda Bacon and Lucy Abramor.
October 2, 2017
3.5 actually. Well written in simple language. Great information. Good list of websites to use.
But....just about the time that you think that she’s more open minded than the average doctor, she says stuff like running is bad for your knees or hormone replacement therapy really is your best option. So after all her research & experience, she wants to fall back on the same overdone fallbacks.🙄 it is disappointing.
But....just about the time that you think that she’s more open minded than the average doctor, she says stuff like running is bad for your knees or hormone replacement therapy really is your best option. So after all her research & experience, she wants to fall back on the same overdone fallbacks.🙄 it is disappointing.
May 23, 2019
Terrible. So much here you could get from simply reading Wikipedia--seriously. And a lot of information that is just straight-up WRONG:
Page 68: "You are what you eat. If you eat more fat, you will get fatter.” I can’t believe a doctor is writing this in 2019. So many studies have debunked this 30 year-old myth I can’t believe her editors published it. (Not all fat is the same...read anything by Harvard endocrinologist David Ludwig to see why it is not the enemy). She concedes that the Mediterranean diet is probably a good idea, but this directly contradicts her previous statement (surprise! The Mediterranean diet has lots of fat), and leaves the reader with a confusing picture.
Page 76: Bladders. She mentions Overactive Bladder, and fails to mention that Interstitial Cystitis exists, which mimics the same symptoms. This should have been mentioned at least in passing, because it is frequently misdiagnosed and often appears in the exact age range this books targets, or slightly before. Somewhere between 4 and 12 million people have this, so it’s not like some unknown rarity that literally no one has. And if we’re going to talking about bladders…why do we have to use the word “tinkle”? Really? Your audience is five years-old??
Page 79: She’s obsessed with kegels. The symptoms for hypotonic and hypertonic pelvic floors can be remarkably similar, and to issue a blanket statement that everyone should be doing kegels, without getting checked by a pelvic specialist, is irresponsible. For example, if you pee a little when sneezing, it’s not a given that your floor is too weak—the exact same thing can happen if it’s too tight. If you are hypertonic, doing kegels will make your problems profoundly worse.
Page 118: Says the BRCA test is $3k. A great way to discourage women from getting tested. There’s a number of online DNA services that can reveal this for $200 or less.
On running: she's says don't do it, with the broad statement that it's "injurious." I don't like running myself, but jogging girls will probably find this pretty disappointing!
On the entire chapter for natural remedies for menopausal symptoms, I can sum it up in one sentence: “Nothing works so don’t bother.” Okay?
Overall very unimpressed.
Page 68: "You are what you eat. If you eat more fat, you will get fatter.” I can’t believe a doctor is writing this in 2019. So many studies have debunked this 30 year-old myth I can’t believe her editors published it. (Not all fat is the same...read anything by Harvard endocrinologist David Ludwig to see why it is not the enemy). She concedes that the Mediterranean diet is probably a good idea, but this directly contradicts her previous statement (surprise! The Mediterranean diet has lots of fat), and leaves the reader with a confusing picture.
Page 76: Bladders. She mentions Overactive Bladder, and fails to mention that Interstitial Cystitis exists, which mimics the same symptoms. This should have been mentioned at least in passing, because it is frequently misdiagnosed and often appears in the exact age range this books targets, or slightly before. Somewhere between 4 and 12 million people have this, so it’s not like some unknown rarity that literally no one has. And if we’re going to talking about bladders…why do we have to use the word “tinkle”? Really? Your audience is five years-old??
Page 79: She’s obsessed with kegels. The symptoms for hypotonic and hypertonic pelvic floors can be remarkably similar, and to issue a blanket statement that everyone should be doing kegels, without getting checked by a pelvic specialist, is irresponsible. For example, if you pee a little when sneezing, it’s not a given that your floor is too weak—the exact same thing can happen if it’s too tight. If you are hypertonic, doing kegels will make your problems profoundly worse.
Page 118: Says the BRCA test is $3k. A great way to discourage women from getting tested. There’s a number of online DNA services that can reveal this for $200 or less.
On running: she's says don't do it, with the broad statement that it's "injurious." I don't like running myself, but jogging girls will probably find this pretty disappointing!
On the entire chapter for natural remedies for menopausal symptoms, I can sum it up in one sentence: “Nothing works so don’t bother.” Okay?
Overall very unimpressed.
March 25, 2019
It's okay. Pretty basic. I knew most of this already. Also, the author pushes hormone replacement therapy as the answer for everything from night sweats to memory loss. From what I have read elsewhere, it is not the panacea she makes it out to be, and that worries me. An okay primer if you know absolutely nothing about menopause. But seek a second opinion.
November 17, 2016
I am currently reading this book. I am going through the change and this book gives good, up beat, tongue and cheek advice for dealing with normal issues of menopause. The advice I have found so far is easy to understand but is also based on scientific evidence. In the words of the author who is a doctor as well, "You probably did not realize that there is a lot you can easily do to renew your energy; sexual vitality and good looks. It doesn't have to be all sweaty, sleepless nights; dispiriting weight gain; irritable moods; and a diminished sex life. So don't throw up your hands and accept that you will never feel like yourself again. I am here to be your midlife cheerleader. You are definitely going to get through these difficult times with your health and happiness reinstated, " Tara Allman, MD. She give great advice and isn't all about popping a pill. She gives easy to follow and understand, usable, common sense advice. There is hope for those who are feeling like they are drying up like an old raisin. (i was- I have hope now :-) )
March 19, 2018
More of a woman's health book, than exclusively geared towards menopause.
November 29, 2018
I found this book informative. It answered several questions for me. I like Dr. Allmen's writing style. And I appreciate she really knows what she's writing about.
February 20, 2021
Some great information, written with humor, grace, and a personal touch that reads "I am in this with you," Fantastic resource for all women (and interested men).
October 27, 2021
Read this as education for when I start menopause. It calmed a lot of my worries.
September 1, 2021
Of the several books on menopause I've read, this is the best. It is direct and easy to understand. It is packed with information, but not too many extraneous details. It gives solid advice, without being insulting to people who could reasonably disagree with her point of view (except in cases of dispelling ridiculous non-scientific notions that are hogwash).
If you want to learn about menopause, pick this book up.
If you want to learn about menopause, pick this book up.
April 4, 2023
Published Sept 2016 - a good starter book on the topic. I wish there were more facts, but I really think I'm looking for a text book at this point. Trying to read books on this topic that have been published more recently so they will have updated/more accurate info in them. But this is a good starter book to learn about what is coming, or what is happening to you.
January 19, 2019
Great info, and very insightful.
October 14, 2017
One of the better books I've seen (and fairly new with current medical citations) on menopause and perimenopause, this had solid information provided by a gynecologist who specializes in mid-life women's health issues. I loved the snappy, fun style and her sense of humor. As I seek out my own answers and consider options, I found her advice, particularly in the areas of hormones vs. natural therapies and exercise to be particularly helpful for consideration. I learned a few things and will be applying the information I've gained.
February 5, 2017
This is a very informative book written in a light and oftentimes humorous style which makes it such an easy read. You actually feel like you're sitting there with the author and she's telling you all of this over a glass of wine. Aside from the ease in reading, Dr. Allmen is actually going through the same thing, so not only does she know what she's talking about because of her medical speciality, but she also knows from personal experience. This makes it very relatable. I wish I would have started to research menopause a lot sooner. There are many helpful preventative measures that can help alleviate your discomfort but you have to start preparing for that early on. If you're young at heart, like me, and think that you're never going to get old - think again! It will happen! I encourage women as early as their late twenties to pick this book up and get a glimpse of your future so that you can start preparing now. And, if you're in your early forties, definitely read this. It's a quick and fun read, believe it or not. Do your health a favor and read it!
July 6, 2020
I was not impressed with this book. It was not what I expected. It reads more like an autobiography than an informative book about the menopause.
The author speaks about her skin regime, her favourite sun lotion, she gives a detailed account of the food she offered in her 50th birthday party, what her grandmother have her so many years ago, what her husband eats every day to keep the doctor away, and so on. I couldn't care less whether her daughter asked her if she was a princess and what she responded, or if the author believes that her husband is the luckiest man because he is married to a gynaecologist! I felt I was wasting my time reading such things when I intended to get information about the menopause.
There are a couple of interesting chapters, but all the rest are loaded with her personal details, things I didn't expect to find in a book I paid for to read about the menopause. A great deal of the information I read were things I already knew, things you can find with the help of Google.
Disappointing.
The author speaks about her skin regime, her favourite sun lotion, she gives a detailed account of the food she offered in her 50th birthday party, what her grandmother have her so many years ago, what her husband eats every day to keep the doctor away, and so on. I couldn't care less whether her daughter asked her if she was a princess and what she responded, or if the author believes that her husband is the luckiest man because he is married to a gynaecologist! I felt I was wasting my time reading such things when I intended to get information about the menopause.
There are a couple of interesting chapters, but all the rest are loaded with her personal details, things I didn't expect to find in a book I paid for to read about the menopause. A great deal of the information I read were things I already knew, things you can find with the help of Google.
Disappointing.
January 27, 2021
Much of this book was tedious, because its content is shallow and delivered in a trite way.
I'm 42 and not quite peri-menopausal, so maybe this is a bit early for me, but the tone was a serious problem. The unfunny puns and the jokey attitude started to feel very condescending by the end.
There's an assumption that all women are married and have children, in this book, and there is no attempt to address issues that women who have never had children, for example may be facing that is different from women who've experienced multiple births.
I'm very happy that the doctor has a nice husband who likes her, but what the hell does that have to do with her medically discussing menopause and perimenopause? Moreover, there's so much content devoted to how to stay pretty with pretty skin and pretty hair and with a pretty thin figure and I have to say, I really don't care. I wanted a doctor to tell me MEDICALLY what was happening, that isn't at the level of a 'buy this cream and you will be pretty' that I can get from all women's magazines, and gosh that information is only delivered in a very small amount here.
Furthermore, she delivers quite outrageous information of the misogyny and injustice prevalent in medicine that directly harms women (easy example: almost all women who go through menopause suffer serious insomnia and almost all women who are half or more of the humans on earth go through menopause and yet ALL THE STUDIES ON INSOMNIA are done on men ONLY) and only says 'Well gosh look at that' and moves on.
This is what I learned:
- If you're safe from potentially fatal side effects, she recommends that you take a low dose birth control pill from the onset of your perimenopausal symptoms until age 55, when you are statistically likely to have started menopause. You won't know when your last period is, and it doesn't matter. I found this refreshing, that I don't have to be attached to the idea of 'my last period.' By the same token, you don't need to 'take a break' to let yourself have breakthrough bleeding - you can just take it continuously. (But then the side effects can be as horrendous as stroke and early death so there's that).
- Vaginally applied estrogen creams stay in the vagina and so you don't need to worry about breast cancer or other estrogen side effects as you do with estrogen taken orally. Cool.
- Any sort of decent vitamin E cream sold over the counter without fancy labeling will work fine for vaginal dryness if that's a problem you have.
- If as a middle aged woman you want to lose weight, you have to do at least 60 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise every single day without exception.
- Dr. Allman is pro estrogen therapy for the sake of dealing with the nightmare sounding effects of menopause (I'm really worried about sleep deprivation, myself).
.... and that's it. I am going to look for a better book on menopause asap.
I'm 42 and not quite peri-menopausal, so maybe this is a bit early for me, but the tone was a serious problem. The unfunny puns and the jokey attitude started to feel very condescending by the end.
There's an assumption that all women are married and have children, in this book, and there is no attempt to address issues that women who have never had children, for example may be facing that is different from women who've experienced multiple births.
I'm very happy that the doctor has a nice husband who likes her, but what the hell does that have to do with her medically discussing menopause and perimenopause? Moreover, there's so much content devoted to how to stay pretty with pretty skin and pretty hair and with a pretty thin figure and I have to say, I really don't care. I wanted a doctor to tell me MEDICALLY what was happening, that isn't at the level of a 'buy this cream and you will be pretty' that I can get from all women's magazines, and gosh that information is only delivered in a very small amount here.
Furthermore, she delivers quite outrageous information of the misogyny and injustice prevalent in medicine that directly harms women (easy example: almost all women who go through menopause suffer serious insomnia and almost all women who are half or more of the humans on earth go through menopause and yet ALL THE STUDIES ON INSOMNIA are done on men ONLY) and only says 'Well gosh look at that' and moves on.
This is what I learned:
- If you're safe from potentially fatal side effects, she recommends that you take a low dose birth control pill from the onset of your perimenopausal symptoms until age 55, when you are statistically likely to have started menopause. You won't know when your last period is, and it doesn't matter. I found this refreshing, that I don't have to be attached to the idea of 'my last period.' By the same token, you don't need to 'take a break' to let yourself have breakthrough bleeding - you can just take it continuously. (But then the side effects can be as horrendous as stroke and early death so there's that).
- Vaginally applied estrogen creams stay in the vagina and so you don't need to worry about breast cancer or other estrogen side effects as you do with estrogen taken orally. Cool.
- Any sort of decent vitamin E cream sold over the counter without fancy labeling will work fine for vaginal dryness if that's a problem you have.
- If as a middle aged woman you want to lose weight, you have to do at least 60 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise every single day without exception.
- Dr. Allman is pro estrogen therapy for the sake of dealing with the nightmare sounding effects of menopause (I'm really worried about sleep deprivation, myself).
.... and that's it. I am going to look for a better book on menopause asap.
August 29, 2025
In my quest to learn more about menopause, I chose to listen to the unabridged audio version of Menopause Confidential by Tara Allmen, MD, which is well narrated by the author.
Dr. Tara Allmen MD gives women a very comprehensive look at perimenopause and menopause as well as other women's health issues/tests one can/should expect in midlife and beyond. Topics like colonoscopies and the latest information on pap smears and pelvic exams, mammograms, ultrasounds, and so on, that added more value and understanding when it comes to aging when women hit midlife and beyond. The primary focus, of course, for this book is perimenopause and menopause.
I loved the wide variety of topics discussed in Menopause Confidential by the author and the chapters that focused on specific topics that I felt were pertinent for a better understanding of women's health as I move forward from middle age into old age.
I also loved that Dr. Tara Allmen MD read her own book! She made listening to her book so much fun. I found myself enjoying the knowledge she shared in her book about women's health to be less scary or intimidating. Menopause is sort of a scary topic if you ask me. The author made her book about menopause extremely accessible to the average reader (nothing overly scientific or complicated) and also a very engaging read.
I was also very pleased that Dr. Tara Allmen MD discussed bioidentical hormones in one of her chapters!!
Although, I enjoyed Menopause Confidential by Tara Allmen, MD even more than Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause by Naomi Watts, I still felt that it wasn't a perfect read. It was originally published back in September 2016. Although, I felt like it contained relevant information, I'm sure there is the possibly that there's newer information out there regarding perimenopause and menopause.
Also, Menopause Confidential does elude to the fact that there isn't a one size fits all solution for treating perimenopause and menopause. The same is also eluded to in Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause by Naomi Watts as well. So, there seems to be a bit of trial and error in finding what best works for you in terms of treating both perimenopause and menopause. However, with that said, I feel like there are more detailed treatment options given in Menopause Confidential for one to explore and discuss with their medical doctor.
Dr. Tara Allmen MD gives women a very comprehensive look at perimenopause and menopause as well as other women's health issues/tests one can/should expect in midlife and beyond. Topics like colonoscopies and the latest information on pap smears and pelvic exams, mammograms, ultrasounds, and so on, that added more value and understanding when it comes to aging when women hit midlife and beyond. The primary focus, of course, for this book is perimenopause and menopause.
I loved the wide variety of topics discussed in Menopause Confidential by the author and the chapters that focused on specific topics that I felt were pertinent for a better understanding of women's health as I move forward from middle age into old age.
I also loved that Dr. Tara Allmen MD read her own book! She made listening to her book so much fun. I found myself enjoying the knowledge she shared in her book about women's health to be less scary or intimidating. Menopause is sort of a scary topic if you ask me. The author made her book about menopause extremely accessible to the average reader (nothing overly scientific or complicated) and also a very engaging read.
I was also very pleased that Dr. Tara Allmen MD discussed bioidentical hormones in one of her chapters!!
Although, I enjoyed Menopause Confidential by Tara Allmen, MD even more than Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause by Naomi Watts, I still felt that it wasn't a perfect read. It was originally published back in September 2016. Although, I felt like it contained relevant information, I'm sure there is the possibly that there's newer information out there regarding perimenopause and menopause.
Also, Menopause Confidential does elude to the fact that there isn't a one size fits all solution for treating perimenopause and menopause. The same is also eluded to in Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause by Naomi Watts as well. So, there seems to be a bit of trial and error in finding what best works for you in terms of treating both perimenopause and menopause. However, with that said, I feel like there are more detailed treatment options given in Menopause Confidential for one to explore and discuss with their medical doctor.
April 5, 2019
The last book about menopause I read was kind of awful and was written by a man who really didn't understand some of our issues. It was much more enjoyable to read a book about menopause written by a doctor who's actually in perimenopause herself. Symptoms are not just theoretical for her. I also enjoyed her sense of humor.
I appreciate that the book looked at a whole range of issues that come with menopause. It's the hot flashes and weight gain that drive most of us to research, but issues like bone density, incontinence, and heart disease are ones we need to be aware of as well. The book is a fairly quick read, so it's not giving all the answers, but it can help us know what questions we need to ask our own healthcare providers.
The author is a proponent of hormone therapy. If that's a turnoff for you, read a different book. Personally, I'm undecided on the issue of hormone therapy. I appreciate that she demystifies it. It's no longer seems as scary as it had. Like any medical approach, there are risks and benefits. Reading the book helped me think about what kinds of options I have and what kinds of questions I'll need to think about down the road.
I appreciate that the book looked at a whole range of issues that come with menopause. It's the hot flashes and weight gain that drive most of us to research, but issues like bone density, incontinence, and heart disease are ones we need to be aware of as well. The book is a fairly quick read, so it's not giving all the answers, but it can help us know what questions we need to ask our own healthcare providers.
The author is a proponent of hormone therapy. If that's a turnoff for you, read a different book. Personally, I'm undecided on the issue of hormone therapy. I appreciate that she demystifies it. It's no longer seems as scary as it had. Like any medical approach, there are risks and benefits. Reading the book helped me think about what kinds of options I have and what kinds of questions I'll need to think about down the road.
June 28, 2018
When it comes to consumer health texts, I'm a fairly tough judge, having spent half of my professional life working in medical publishing and information research. For the most part, this work hit most of my health literacy happy spots: written in clear language by someone with functional experience in the topic, well-referenced (and even using the term evidence-based in the correct manner) and using a multitude of resources, not promising miracle cures, and not talking down to the reader. I was especially impressed that the author noted in the text that the chapters were short because one of the symptoms involved is an inability to focus: tailoring a work for the audience is a great thing. What I was less than impressed with: some of the jolly cute of the writing, the heteronormativity throughout, and the references to and review blurb from Dr. Oz, one of the current kinds of pseudoscience.
May 27, 2019
I did learn some, but mostly was left more confused and with more questions.
As a weight lifter & active woman starting into peri menopause I don’t know how to apply her tips about using 10 pound weights & that I should quit running (I have friends in their 70s successfully & injury free running marathons)? Do I really need to ratchet back for fear of breaking something?
The nutrition advice is plain basic common sense. Nothing new in that section.
At one point she mentioned starting peri menopause later can mean issues but never elaborated.
And as other reviewers mentioned she seemed very pro-hormone treatment to the point of skimping on other alternatives.
I may use some of the websites listed to try & learn more, but in general didn’t get what I needed from this book.
As a weight lifter & active woman starting into peri menopause I don’t know how to apply her tips about using 10 pound weights & that I should quit running (I have friends in their 70s successfully & injury free running marathons)? Do I really need to ratchet back for fear of breaking something?
The nutrition advice is plain basic common sense. Nothing new in that section.
At one point she mentioned starting peri menopause later can mean issues but never elaborated.
And as other reviewers mentioned she seemed very pro-hormone treatment to the point of skimping on other alternatives.
I may use some of the websites listed to try & learn more, but in general didn’t get what I needed from this book.
August 12, 2019
I have mixed feelings about this book....probably due to my going through the change! Ha! The beginning warms you to a friendly chat with a knowledgeable friend rather than a cold clinical textbook. While I did not agree with everything, I did like that Dr. Allmen wrote very conversationally. The parts that got repetitiously annoying were the constant reference to the upcoming chapters. I didn't know if that was supposed to keep me reading or cause me to skip ahead and read the future chapters out of order (don't mess with my indecisive brain! lol). My biggest disappointment was that I had hoped Dr. Allmen was a supporter of both prescription and natural alternatives, but alas and alack, not the case, just the prescription. I did enjoy most of the chapters though.
December 2, 2022
Raamatus on ohtralt vaimuka ja humoorika pealkirjaga peatükke nagu "Väikesed tüdrukud on tehtud suhkrust, jahust ja maasikavahust... ja see maasikavaht on östrogeen", "Vagiina on nagu Las Vegas, beib", "Pissida või mitte pissida?", "Halli viiskümmend varjundit... juustes", Ja ohkas seejuures... mu kondid ja luud" jne. Tekst on sarnases võtmes, kohati tunnetasin isegi liigset "semutsemist". Samas on tegemist ikkagi väljaõppinud arstiga, nii et kirjutatud ja soovitusi võiks pidada tõsiseltvõetavaks. Muu hulgas sain teada, et meilgi ohtralt kiidetud erinevad taimsed preparaadid ei pruugi olla tõsiseltvõetavad sümptomite leevendamise vahendid. Mida veel teada sain? Üsna elementaarseid teadmisi üle korrata enamasti. Suurt heureka-momenti ei tekkinud, aga loetud ta sai ja võib-olla abiks ikka.
August 16, 2023
Not great. Info seems outdated now - copyright is 2016- and it’s a real hard push for HRT. The information about strength training goes against everything I’ve learned, read, and heard from other experts in this field. The author suggests resistance training, but doesn’t really expand on the reasoning or benefits. She also suggests to “not lift weights over 5-10 pounds”. What?! No discussion of sarcopenia and the true importance of strength training for women in midlife. If you know nothing about menopause, it’s ok for some basics, but for most of us in this place, we have been doing our own research and reading for years. I was hoping for more detailed information and helpful strategies other than HRT.
August 30, 2018
Informative book. I haven't been getting much from my healthcare providers beyond "it doesn't get any better" and "do you want hormones?" and I didn't really come away from those visits knowing much at all about what the heck is happening to me or what the benefits or risks were associated with different treatment options. Now I feel a little more like I understand (or I do for now until I forget again).
Like some of the other reviewers, I wasn't too sure about all of her recommendations. And the constant repeating of "As I discussed in Chapter XX: Name of Chapter XX" over and over was a bit tedious. But all in all very helpful information.
Like some of the other reviewers, I wasn't too sure about all of her recommendations. And the constant repeating of "As I discussed in Chapter XX: Name of Chapter XX" over and over was a bit tedious. But all in all very helpful information.
December 1, 2019
I rarely give 5 stars but so much of this book resonated with me I felt it worthy of the high rating. I’ve been trying to better understand peri menopause and menopause because I’m experiencing the symptoms worse than ever. It’s been a challenge finding helpful information. I’ve gotten data-backed answers from this book. Having been over-diagnosed with multiple unnecessary (and traumatic) breast biopsies...the chapter on breast health almost had me in tears. Finally! A doctor who gets it! I feel much better armed and informed on my health moving forward. I just wish I could have Dr. Allmen as my own down here in GA.
June 7, 2020
Helpful but I wished she went a little deeper on some of the changes. It’s good for basic information with a caveat. I’m not a doctor myself, but I’ve read a lot about nutrition and I disagree with some of the nutritional advice regarding consuming fat. I recommend she reviews that if she releases a new edition of this book. She provides the new guidelines for cancer screenings (pap and breast). I don’t quite agree or feel comfortable with the rationale for the longer time between tests. However, she’s providing updated and useful information on the new guidelines. So it’s a useful book if you want a quick reference guide.
April 13, 2024
An ok introduction to menopause. At times it goes a lot into stuff I wasn’t much interested in like how often to have Pap smears (always changing) but skips on some stuff I was.
I was hoping for more on home remedies and tricks to manage hot flashes. She’s not much on over the counter remedies either….I’m currently trying a cohosh based one my doctor recommended and it’s too early to really judge it much, but I think it may be.
Basically some good information and a strong emphasis on keeping fit which I’ve been doing a long time now.
She really repeats the title of chapter 17 too much and it irritated me after a while.
I was hoping for more on home remedies and tricks to manage hot flashes. She’s not much on over the counter remedies either….I’m currently trying a cohosh based one my doctor recommended and it’s too early to really judge it much, but I think it may be.
Basically some good information and a strong emphasis on keeping fit which I’ve been doing a long time now.
She really repeats the title of chapter 17 too much and it irritated me after a while.
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